The perils of punctuality

Punctuality is often considered to be a virtue. But in my experience, punctuality has been a curse
and a bane, as I belong to that category of people who are punctual by nature. Though I am pretty
easy-going about many things, punctuality is not one of them. Add to this the general Indian concept
of Indian Stretchable Standard Time and I have a ready-made recipe for palpitations.

It begins simply enough. Lets say, I am meeting a friend at a pre-decided venue at 5.30 pm. I am at
the venue by 5.15 pm. By 5.20 pm, I start looking out for my friend, even though there is still 10
minutes to rendezvous time. By 5.35 pm, I have worked myself into a frenzy of self-doubtis this
the correct place and time? By 5.45, I have doubts about the date and by 6.00 pm, I start having
palpitations and wonder if there was even a meeting in the first place ! This is usually when
the friend I am waiting arrives and says, Oh! Were you waiting for long? You poor thing. Come,
lets go and have something to eat. Im starving. There are a few variations to this theme, but this is
how it happens most of the time. Without fail.
Over the years, my punctual nature has led to many funny incidents and some not so funny incidents
as well. One of the more memorable ones involves the 21st birthday party of a friend to which I had
been invited. Normally I avoid parties, but the guy I had a massive crush on at that time was going to
be there at the party. So, I had to go too. I was studying in the University of Poona at that time and
staying in the hostel there. My roommates, who knew about my crush, helped me decide on the outfit
to wear, the shoes, the bag, the lipstick shade, the perfume the works. One of my roommates even
arranged for her cousin to drop me off at the birthday girls house, so that my hair would not get all
mussed up.
So at 6.45 pm, I was outside the birthday girls house. My paranoia over being punctual made me
check the invitation card before I rang the bell. From 6.30 pm onwards, it said. For added
reassurance, I also double checked the date and the venue, which were also correct. Finally
convinced, I took a deep breath and rang the bell. The door was opened by my friends brother, to
Suffice it to say that nobody was ready for the party (my friends mother was actually napping) and
nobody actually expected any guest to arrive on time. My friends father told me very kindly that I
should never take timings seriously and that I should always add 2 hours to the actual time of any
invite ! I felt quite stupid and sat in one corner, while the family got ready for the party. By the time
guests started coming in at 8.30 pm, I was feeling quite horrible. It didnt help that I was introduced

as that friend of the birthday girl, who took the timing on the invite seriously. Needless, to say I
became the subject of many a joke, a nudge or a wink at the party, including that of my big crush. :-(
Contrast this with my 12th birthday party, wherein we were ready at the appointed time, but the
guests sauntered in later, much later. The food had gone cold by then, I had convinced myself that
nobody was coming and was on the verge of tears, when the first friend walked in. She was
genuinely puzzled as to why I was so upset about her coming late.
Today, I accept the fact that not all people can be punctual or even like others to be punctual. This
understanding came about only when my punctuality cost me a friendship. DMH was a very good
friend at work. She had joined my organisation a few years after I did and we had kind off hit it off
from day one. We would often go for tea or coffee after work or catch a movie or a theatre
performance. Though she wasnt the most punctual of persons, I managed. One day, a couple of
years into the friendship, we were supposed to go and see a mutual friends ailing father-in-law.
Though we had agreed to meet in my office room at 6.00 pm, DMH did not come till nearly 6.45,
by which time I was feeling quite edgy. When I remarked to DMH that she was late, she burst out
and said, Why are you so obsessed about time? You are totally stressing me out with your
punctuality. I get stressed out each time we have to go out somewhere, knowing that you will be
looking at your watch all the time. You know what, you need to lighten up. You have an OCD
(obsessive compulsive disorder) about punctuality. To say that I was shocked about stressing
someone else out with my punctuality came as a bit of a surprise, because I thought I was the one
getting stressed out. Anyway, things were never the same again between us after this incident, and
we slowly drifted apart. Today, we are on nodding terms and have a professional relationship at
work.
It isnt easy being punctual or retain sanity in a world where most people do not respect your time
appointments are forever getting rescheduled, trains are running late, buses are arbitrarily cancelled,
deliveries are delayed, people turn up late for appointments without even an apology Over the
years, I have learnt to relax about punctuality at least where others are concerned. And with
practically everyone having a cell phone these days, delays get communicated leading to stress-free
and palpitation-free rendevous. But as far as I am concerned, I still arrive on time for meetings, as
well as weddings and parties (that is, if I deign to go for them at all), or any other function.
I often wonder why I treat time and punctuality as something carved in stone. Maybe I was born with
the punctuality gene (if one can even believe that there is such a thing). For you see, I was punctual
even in birthI was born on the date given by the doctor to my mom.