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VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 12

0 3 . 1 9 .15

Zombies Invade
Landa Park
Around and About, Page 7

Jay Hix Jones Responds (Kinda) | Container Ban Appeal | Colby on Education

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

VOTE NOW!
A C C E S S T H E S U R V E Y AT

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of

contents

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1st Word

HOTO CREDITS
Around & About
Chase Cochran

Jay Hix Jones saw what we

wrote about him last week.

All original content is copyright

TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published
every Thursday.

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County Beat

Commissioners just say no

to something or other
Some water thing.

Due Process

City begs new set of judges

to let it have a can-ban.

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1 WORD
ST

Mea Culpa

We made a couple errors in last

weeks column, and were going
to clear them up right now. Dont
believe us, just watch.

WITH

MIKE
REYNOLDS

First off, we said this in

reference

to

the

And while there still may be

campfires, horse shoe games,
etc, the cases of rapes, violence,
indecent exposure, arrests,
fights, accident, etc etc increase
ten fold during the Holiday
Weekend. (TEN FOLD! Hide
your kids. Hide your wife.)
The press release for the project
had this to say:
Public intoxication, indecent exposure,
fights, drugs, arrests, and even deaths are all
part of the experience. Its one irresponsible
wild ride down this lazy river that seems to
grow in popularity every summer. (Death!
Death! DEATH!)
Every Memorial Day weekend a
floatopia invades the cool waters transforming
the town into one of the most popular summer
tourist destinations in the south; think South
Padre, Daytona, and Cancun combined and
then multiplied by Vegas and Ibiza.
Ok, we have to stop right there. Can you
imagine the utter disappointment on the face
of any spring-breaker who was persuaded
to come here with promises of the collective
atmospheres of South Padre Island, Daytona
and Cancun MULTIPLIED by Las Vegas and
Ibiza? This from a guy saying that hes coming
to produce a documentary. Jay, weve got to
tell you, documentaries are not just a bunch
of things thrown together the way you want
them to be docs are like news. You find the
facts, then you report. You dont get to make
up crime stats and false marketing claims,
no matter how awesome they might sound.
Those tactics are reserved for reality television
programs, like Hoarders.
Hix Jones read our article, and let me
know he had seen it. We offered him a full
rebuttal, without edits, which he declined due
to scheduling. Our offer still stands, however,
so Jay, when you want to have your say on this
issue, were ready to print it, verbatim.
In the meantime, were waiting on the
actual crime statistics from City Hall to arrive
in the newsroom. Our expectation is that
rapes and deaths dont increase tenfold over
Memorial Day weekend. But unlike Jones,
were going to go ahead and have a look at
the numbers before we commit to anything.

disposable

container ban: an appeal of which

goes to court immediately after we go to
press this week. Thats technically correct, but
the appeal isnt actually against the ban, its
against the ruling against the ban.
We also said this when discussing the
tattooed, faux hipster charlatans about to
descend upon our fair city armed with a
full compliment of Puritanism, to, you know,
save us from ourselves: But it seems only
Evangelicals get involved in media Thats
factually inaccurate, and should have read
But it seems only Evangelicals get involved in
high-profile religious media The difference
is small, but important. There are plenty of
religious people of all stripes working in
mainline media.
There. All better.

Reality Producer
Responds
If you read last weeks column, you know that
Hoarders producer Jay Hix Jones intends to
come to town over Memorial Day weekend
with a prophet and hip-hop producer/
evangelist in tow to document the apparent
Sodom and Gomorrah atmosphere of rape
and death that exists on our local rivers,
and to, of course, change all that with their
supernatural powers. (If you didnt see last
weeks column, its pinned to the top of our
Facebook page at facebook.com/txcitizen.
Have a peek, if youre so inclined.) Here are
a couple quotes from Hix Jones to give you
a taste of what he thinks of the situation, and
what his intentions are (emphasis ours):
As we all know, there is a party culture on
the river especially during Memorial Day, and
with this culture brings an increase in fights,
arrests, rapes, deaths, public intoxication,
indecent exposure, accidents, trash on the
river etc etc etc the list goes on and on. (I

TXCITIZEN.COM

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know, right? So many rapes and deaths. The

place is Caligulesque.)

Spring break, St. PatTy's Day, South by Southwest...

there is no denying that there are reasons o' plenty to
party in Central Texas. It's basicalLy National Party
Like an Animal WeEk. I'm proud of you, folks. You've
earned the right to party. But if you're anything like
me, you have a job to go to where they actualLy expect you
to show up and be productive and stufF. I know. BumMer.
My employer didn't even mention anything about
spring break to me. I'm asSuming that means I stilL
have to work, but I'm not going to say that I agreE
with it. While I may not be able to go chug greEn
beEr alL night at the pub or do tequila shoOters
at the beach alL weEk, I'm stilL going to be
loOking for a goOd time. The only difFerence
being that my goOd time wilL include a couple
glasSes of wine and going to bed at a reasonable
hour. Now that's a party. I think my younger self
just choked on his greEn beEr. So y'alL come join
me at Longshot. We wilL have a spring break party
that you can actualLy remember.
- Josh McFarling

Continued on page 5.

concepthomessa@yahoo.com 1111 N. Walnut Ave

3

COUNTY BEAT

Get a Jumpstart on Spring!

WITH NICK ROGERS

No WCID for Meyers Ranch

County Commissioners received a standing ovation
after the Court denied Meyer Ranchs petition to
create a Water Control and Improvement District.
The petition came at a time when the
Ranch is working with a developer to build
a proposed 1,500 home subdivision on 750
acres near Dry Comal Creek. The WCID would
allow a five-member board to make decisions
concerning water issues for the subdivision,
including how much water to pump from wells,
its drainage and its conservation. The District
would also allow for the issuance of bonds to
be paid for with ad valorem taxes.
The planned District was met with stiff,
but organized resistance from the Friends
of Dry Comal Creek, which represents
residents in the area.
Friends of Dry Comal Creek were
concerned that such a large development
would have a negative impact on the supply
and quality of the water in their own wells,
especially during times of drought. Such
decisions, they argued, would be made
by only five people who would not have to
answer to those outside the District. They were
also unhappy about the idea of a taxing entity,
which was prepared to issue more than $50
million in bonds.
As well, the Friends of Dry Comal
Creek warned that since the creek runs into
the Comal River, that extra runoff would
flow into New Braunfels, and that the extra
runoff would be tainted.
Those opposing the WCID showed up in
large and orderly numbers to speak before
Commissioners on the matter.
Water control does not equal water
quality, said Sabrina Houser, who co-owns
Dry Comal Creek Vineyard with her father,
Franklin. Since the Housers business relies on
the quality of the water for their grapes, Sabrina
argued that any change in that quality would
have a detrimental impact on the vineyard.
Another opponent, Denise Harris, argued
before Commissioners that the development
would have a direct impact on the quantity and
quality of water available in the Edwards Aquifer.
We are in the most environmentally
important area within all of the Edwards
Aquifer Recharge area, she said. And its
not just the Edwards Aquifer recharge, you
have other aquifers below that.
Area resident, Dr. Gary Bird, pointed out
that the issue isnt one that is inherently against
building in the area.
This isnt about development, its more
about responsible development, he said.
4

Putting 1,500 homes on 750 acres and

building wells that may or may not have a
sustainable water supply is not responsible.
One of the primary concerns for opponents
to the proposed development is plans for
a wastewater treatment facility. However,
County Judge Sherman Krause pointed out to
those speaking before the Court that there was
nothing that Commissioners could do on that
matter because a WCID is not necessary to
build a wastewater treatment plant.
No representatives from the Meyer Ranch
appeared before Commissioners.
In order to approve a Water Control and
Improvement District, state law requires that
four criteria be fully met:
1). The organization of the district as
requested is feasible and practicable
2). The land to be included and the
residents of the proposed district will be
benefited by the creation of the district
3). That there is a public necessity or need
for the district
4). That the creation of the district would
further the public welfare.
Precinct 1 Commissioner Donna Eccleston
made the motion and laid out her reasons to
dismiss the WCID petition.
One: Under the requirements of item
three, there is no public necessity or need for
the District, she said. There is no housing
shortage in that area of the County and there
are no impediments to development in that
area under existing statute and County orders.
Two: Under item four, the creation of
the District does not further the public welfare
because there is no need for the District and
would create another layer of bureaucracy
and would increase taxes, Eccleston argued.
If items three and four cannot be met,
there is no reason to address the first two
requirements, she said. As such, I move to
deny the petition for the creation of the Water
Control and Improvement District.
With Ecclestons motion seconded by
Precinct 4s Jen Crownover, the Court voted
unanimously to deny the WCID.
While certainly happy with the decision,
Ed Harris, who spearheads the Friends of Dry
Comal Creek, said he cant rest yet.
The Friends of Dry Comal Creek still
have an active sewage treatment facility permit
application looming, he said. We will try to
get TCEQ (Texas Commission on Environmental
Quality) to dismiss the facility because there is
no WCID. My question to TCEQ was why
would they want to spend time working on this
when they have other important matters?

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McKamies strategy appears to be to keep

Continued from page 3.

Mr Rogers Goes
to Austin
Last Wednesday, TX Citizen uber-reporter
Nick Rogers and I made the trip to Cap City to
enjoy NBs appeal to the District Courts ruling
against it in the disposable container ban case.
We had chili-dogs at the Texas Chili Parlor,
mere feet from Psychic City Attorney, Madame
Val Acevedo, and her second, Frank The
Onion Onion. District Two Councilwoman,
and my personal realtor, Aja Edwards was
there too. It was rad.
Anyway, we got up to the courtroom,
and there was recalled New Braunfels City
Councilman and architect of the disposable
container ban, Ken Valentine, sitting two rows
ahead of us, all smug and whatnot. Hes got
a right to be proud. After being recalled from
office, he got a city government to devote
millions of dollars to his personal crusade.
Thats power, and lets face it, everybody needs
a hobby. Some people learn to play trombone
or rock climb, but to each his own. Val even
came over and had a lil chit chat with Ken to
keep him in the loop. That was nice.
The best part of the hearing was when
the Citys hired gun Mick McKamie claimed
to represent the entire city (not just City
Hall), and backed up that claim by stating that
58% of people that cast votes in the special
election, did so in favor of the ban. Note to
Mick: Entire means 100%.
In other words, he represents everyone,
except just over four out of every ten voters,
who should be considered irrelevant. McKamie
brought the same knife-based arguments he
had in hand when he lost the first gunfight in
front of Judge Don Burgess. Cameras werent
allowed in the courtroom, so I drew this sketch
of McKamie myself:

repeating the same losing arguments in front

of higher, and possibly more experienced and
sophisticated judges until the ruling changes.
Or until the City stops paying him the hundreds
of thousands of dollars its billing the taxpayer
for. In any case, you can read all about the
hearing in Nicks Due Process column on page
6. Or 7. I dont know for sure, and Im too lazy
to check. Check the table of contents, which

5th Annual

Hair & Hearts

Presented by: The New Braunfels Blues Society,
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten, and Blinders Hair Salon

Blues FeStival

Im pretty sure is back on page two.

\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Saturday, March 21

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TXCITIZEN.COM

Due Process

WITH NICK ROGERS

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March is a
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City Continues Appeal of

Can-Ban Ruling
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arguments

disposable

over

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and

One of the central arguments in the lawsuits

concerns whether the various river-oriented

Braunfels
cooler

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ordinances were made before the Third

Court of Appeals, all sides were well aware
that the State was watching.
Appeals Court Justice Bob Pemberton
noted that the case has potential to set

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precedent for ongoing Legislative and

legal issues.
Right now, the Legislature is looking at
issues concerning local versus state control,
he said, asking how the New Braunfels case
corresponds to those arguments.
Local control is what this case is about,
said Mick McKamie, who represented New
Braunfels. The San Antonio attorney said that
to rule against the City would mean that the
Texas Constitution and state statues would
have to be changed in order to redefine the
meaning and powers of a Home Rule City.
The ordinances were meant to protect
river and water quality, he argued.
The case certainly could have influence
on how the courts read Dentons recent
decision to ban hydraulic fracturing within
its city limits. That case also represents
a

municipalitys

arguments

that

it

is

protecting public health and, like the New

Braunfels ordinances, the fracking ban was
approved by voters.
While the New Braunfels and Denton
cases argue that public health decisions
should be dictated by municipalities, the
cases also pit businesses against local
institutions. Prior to the hearing, the City of
Austin, the Texas Municipal League (which
includes Denton), the Texas City Attorneys
Association, along with a variety of river
alliances, filed Amici Curiaes, or friend of the
court briefs in support of New Braunfels.

830.620.9091 www.scoresnb.com
223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels

The appeal was brought by the City

after Judge Don Burgess ruled last March on
behalf of various river-oriented businesses
who sued New Braunfels over the cooler
size and disposable container ordinances.
Burgess agreed with the businesses that the
ordinances were arbitrary, unenforceable
and violated state laws.

businesses actually have standing to contest the

standing so that its customers dont have to be

punished in order to dispute an ordinance.
Where does the line fall, then?

laws. The City argued that the businesses rights Bourland asked. Those arguments could
werent impinged upon by the laws.

apply to any city ordinance.

It is very rare that a person has the right

Do you have a vested property right to

to challenge a penal ordinance, McKamie

sell goods? Justice David Puryear questioned.

argued. Businesses lose their vested property

Ewbank responded that a business can

right after they sell that item, and there was no

challenge an ordinance based upon vested

prohibition on selling or buying products. Its property rights when an ordinance leads to a
just that certain items, disposable containers,

loss of business, particularly if the ordinances

cant be taken into the rivers.

are illegal by their nature.

Justice Cindy Bourland asked if the

A city cannot pass an ordinance that is

disposable container ordinance had a negative arbitrary and capricious, or is unconstitutional

affect on river businesses and their customers.

and discriminatory, Ewbank said. As proof,

No, McKamie said. The ordinance

Ewbank pointed to a deposition by New

only affects and regulates those who bring

Braunfels Police Capt. Michael Penshorn,

disposable containers into the rivers.

who said that what constituted a disposable

Who would challenge the ordinances,

then? Pemberton asked.
The buyer of the item, McKamie answered.

container was up to the officer.

How is anybody supposed to know what
is expected of them when law enforcement

So, somebody would have to carry a officers dont know? the attorney argued.
disposable container into the river and get

You can take apart any law, Bourland

ticketed or arrested in order to contest it? the

said. What is the proper review? What is

Justice asked.

your position on the course of jurisdiction?

That is the law in Texas, McKamie

responded.
Pemberton, who said he remembered

I think arbitrary and capriciousness is the

easiest matter for this court, Ewbank answered.
What

about

waste

management?

floating down the rivers when he was Pemberton asked.

younger, then focused in on what defines a
disposable container.

If the purpose of the ordinances were to

reduce litter, then they are preempted by the

You could float down the rivers with an States solid waste laws, Ewbank said. The
empty Ziploc, or a Ziploc with a gun or cell same amount of litter is going to show up and
phone in it, he stated. So, its only disposable
containers with food or beverages in them that
are not allowed?
Those are the ones that have litter in

its all going into the landfill.

Both

McKamie

and

Ewbank

were

optimistic that the Court understood their points.

We are pleased with the oral argument,

them, McKamie answered. Just because McKamie said. Based on some of the
its a navigable waterway doesnt mean questions, the Court seemed in tune with our
its olly olly oxen free once the waterway views on burden of proof, the nature of penal
enters the City.

ordinances, and lack of state preemption.

Also with an eye on potential precedent,

The argument went well, Ewbank

Jim Ewbank, who represented the river

said. The judges are aware of the statewide

outfitters, argued that a reversal of the decision impact of their decision. I thought they asked
would create a patchwork of laws for every good questions on why we believe the
city with a river that runs through it.

ordinance is preempted by the Solid Waste

Ewbank said that it is wrong if a customer Disposal Act.

has to subject himself to criminal prosecution

A decision by the Third Court of Appeals

to contest an ordinance. Citing an 1874 could take months.

case, the attorney argued that a business has

Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.

AD SALES 830.358.2493

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AROUND&ABOUT
Zombie enthusiasts of all ages put their costuming and makeup skills to the test last Friday (the 13th),
at the Parks Department's free screening of "Warm Bodies", out at the dance slab.
Awards were given for Best Zombie, Best Zombie Walk/Impersonation, and Best Zombie
Hunter/Huntee. There was free soda and popcorn, and nobody had to put up with Carl or his hat.

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Thu 3.19
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Josh Holden
6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Jeromy Hooper
5pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Gruene Hall
Aaron Einhouse
12:30pm
Chubby Knuckle Choir
6pm

Hippy Gypsy
Knotty Grove
6pm

The Pour Haus

Rileys Tavern

Watering Hole Saloon

River Road Ice House

Ted Russel Kamp

Monte Good

American Aquarium

9pm

8pm

8pm

River Road Ice House

AJs Ale House

Young Dubliners

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

w/ Austin Gillam

9pm

7pm

Fri 3.20
Adobe Verde

Off the Grid Polka Band

Billys Ice House

6:30pm

8pm

8pm

Gruene Hall
Billy Bacon
12:15pm
Chase Bryant

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

3 Man Front
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Broseph
5pm

7pm

Sat 3.21

6pm

Moonlight Social

Lonnie Key & Texas Connection

Trace Owen Jr

Alpine Haus Restaurant

JJ Garrett Band

The Happy Cow

Vineyard at Gruene

w/ Rosehill
7pm, $12

The Pour Haus

Adobe Verde
Bru Erdman
6:30pm

The Happy Cow

Steel Penny
9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Hair & Hearts Blues Festival
Kim & Her Bad Habits

Jackson Parten Trio

1pm

8:30pm

Monty Guitar Tyler Band

Rileys Tavern

4pm

Jade Marie Patek

8 Ball Aitken

Mike & the Moonpies

Gypsy Elise & the Royal Blues

8pm

9pm

9pm, $10

7pm

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Phoenix Saloon

Phoenix Saloon

Laughin & Rockin

Jon Stringer, Blair Thompson,
Joshua Jay Nieto, Dizorderly Konduct
7pm

Adam Johnson

Walt Wilkins

3pm

6pm

Lucas Taylor
7pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Billys Ice House

FILE 13

Geronimo VFW #8456

8:30pm

12:30pm

1pm

Miss Lavelle White

4pm

w/ Jacob Powell

Bill Kirchen

8pm, $15

6pm

NB Farm to Market

The Pour Haus

Terry Cavanaugh
9am

Dillon Myers

The Pour Haus

8pm

Dirty White Horse

Rileys Tavern

9:30pm

The Georges

Rileys Tavern

Bonzai Steak & Sushi

Smooth Jazz
w/ Sam Harriss
6pm

Gruene Hall
Adam Carroll, Chris Carroll, Mark Jungers
6pm

The Pour Haus

Open Mic
w/ Jon Magill
8pm

Wed 3.25

4pm

Bobby Marlar
9pm

River Road Ice House

River Road Ice House

Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers
8pm

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2pm

Vineyard at Gruene

Vineyard at Gruene
Hip Replacements

Kayla Ray

7pm

3pm

Vino en Verde
The LeAnn & Jason Soul Duo
9pm

Mon 3.23
Gruene Hall

Sun 3.22

Bret Graham

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Gypsy Elise & the Royal Blues
2pm

Watering Hole Saloon

3pm

Statesboro Revue

Granger Smith

Tues 3.24

Kerosene Drifters

The Peterson Brothers

Gruene Hall

6pm

The Pour Haus

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Sam Bentley Band

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Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

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Danny & Lorna Terry
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Cody Johnson
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Alan Voight Music Scholarship Application

The purpose of the Alan Voight Music Scholarship is to support higher education efforts of junior and senior high school students in Comal County
who are members of music, dance or theater arts and who demonstrate promise and creativity in musical composition or performing. Selection of
the recipients is at the sole discretion of the New Braunfels Blues Society.
For 2015 up to four(4) scholarship of a minimum of $500 will be awarded.

Criteria required for consideration:

Enrolled as a junior or senior high school student in Comal County
Primary Performance Interests, Genres, Instrument(s) played:
Ranked in the top 40 percent of high school class at time of application
Planning to attend an accredited business, technical/vocational school, or two How do you express yourself musically?
or four-year college or university during the fall semester following their graduation
from high school or achievement of GED
Must be involved in music, dance or theater arts in coursework in high school
To apply submit the following documentation no later than April 24, 2015.
Completed application
(this form only will be accepted all others disqualify applicant)
Application essay
Official high school transcripts
Two(2) letters of recommendation

Personal Information:

Activities, Honors, and Awards:

List any office held or awards received in high school. If the award was
repetitive, please indicate the number of years achieved. (Ex. National
Honor Society, 3 years.)

List clubs or activities in which you have participated during your high
school years, include sports and participation outside of school such as in
a church organization, community service or non-profit activity.

Name: ________________________________________________________
Home Address: __________________________________________________

Applicant Essay:
_______________________________________________________________ Attach a typed essay no more than two(2) pages in length addressing an
aspect of the blues music that interests you, or that has influenced you in
Email Address: __________________________________________________ some way.
Phone Number: _________________________________________________ Important Notice:
Sex: (circle one)

Male

Female

Date of Birth: ________________________

When you return this application, you are giving to the New Braunfels Blues
Society authorization to release this information to the Alan Voight Scholarship
Committee. No student will be discriminated against on the basis of sexual
Current Age: ___________ orientation, gender, national origin, ethnicity, religion or creed.

School Information:
Name of School: _________________________________________________
Address of School: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Telephone #: ____________________________________________________
Anticipated Graduation Date: ______________________________________
College University Technical School Information:

List the names of the institutions to which you have applied to or intend to apply.

Have you been accepted? (Circle one)

YES

NO

To which one(s)? _________________________________________________

Anticipated field of study? _________________________________________
Planned career: __________________________________________________
TXCITIZEN.COM

A complete application consists of this form, the application essay, an official

transcript showing your high school work to date, and two(2) letters of recommendation.
All applications must be mailed to:
New Braunfels Blues Society
Attn: Alan Voight Scholarship Committee
PO Box 310524
New Braunfels, TX 78131-0524
All application materials must be received no later than April 1, 2014.
No exceptions.
Scholarship winners will be notified by May 1, 2014. Winners will be
announced and honored at the annual New Braunfels Blues Society Anniversary
even in May (date and time to be scheduled) and are expected to be present for
receipt of the scholarship at that event. Scholarship winners will be invited to
perform their talent during the event, if applicable.
Proof of registration at a higher education institute must be present to New
Braunfels Blues Society before scholarship funds are distributed.
The scholarship check will be made payable to the institution to be applied
toward tuition, fee, and/or book expenses.
Students are required to utilize scholarship funds the following fall semester,
but may, with the approval of the New Braunfels Blues Society, use them for the
following spring semester. If funds are not used during one of these two
semesters the student will forfeit the right to his/her scholarship award.
11

MOST WANTED
BRANDT,
KRISTI MARIE

Female 503 140 lbs

DOB: 10/31/1992
CHARGE: Four
counts of forgery and
one count theft of
property over $20,000
under $100,000

PALADINO,
RICHARD
SAMUEL II

Male 511 145 lbs

DOB: 03/29/1968
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation/
unauthorized use
of vehicle

COLLINS,
MEDELLIN, JESSE PLAUD-ACOSTA,
RODRIGUEZ
JOHN
MARK
FRANCISCO
Male 507 200 lbs
Male 509 165 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
DOB:
04/24/1983
CHARGE:
Possession
CHARGE:
Motion to
of a controlled
proceed
substancewith
pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
adjudicationproperty under
possession
of a$1500
with 2 or more
controlled
substance
previous convictions

CULPEPPER,
JEFFREY ALLEN
Male 602 185 lbs
DOB: 09/29/1992
CHARGE: Burglary
of habitation

GILYARD,
STACY YVETTE

Male 508 180 lbs

DOB: 10/06/1970
CHARGE: Theft
property under $1500
with two or more
previous convictions

SEGURA,
ADRIANNA
LUPITA
Female 503 160 lbs
DOB: 03/17/1985
CHARGE: Forgery

VALADEZ,
HENRY III

Female 508 180 lbs

DOB: 01/18/1987
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation
forgery of 10 counts

Male 505 195 lbs

DOB: 11/18/1974
CHARGE: Forgery
financial instrument

HARRIS,
ERNEST W

ZEPEDA, DAVID
ALEXANDER

Male 511 190 lbs

DOB: 12/24/1957
CHARGE: Unlawful
possession of firearm
by felon

$300
REWARD

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano

SPECIAL BEST-OF EDITON

Dear Mexican: Why do wabs,

regardless of age and body size, always
have one hand rubbing their bellies
under their shirts? Is this something
that is inherent in all wabs? Because
they all do it, especially the fresh
from the border ones. I dont get
it. Im a pocho, and Ive never seen
other pochos do it. Are wabs fingerbanging their belly buttons or what?
They all look so ####ing stupid doing
this. Just go to Home Depot and
watch them!
Pocho with Albndigas Grandes

Ive seen Mexicans create improvised

dance floors. Why do Mexicans love
dancing so much?
Lambada Louie
Dear Gabacho: Anyone who needs
to ask why people dance to Los Tigres
del Nortethe norteo supergroup that
combines traditional polka beats with socially
conscious lyrics to create something thats
part Clash, part Lawrence Welk and puro
mexicanohas no soul or is a gabacho.
How can you not sway to their metronomic
bass, their lush accordion trills, their canned
sound effects, member Hernn Hernndezs

Dear Pocho: Whats with the panza

hate? In previous eras, girth was a sign of

mexcelente Mexi-mullet?
Mexican music is among the most

bounty and promiseIm thinking Santa danceable outside Brazil because its
Claus, William Howard Taft and the Earth practitioners understand that nalga-shaking
Mother. Thats still the case in Mexico: next stirs humanity into the realm of ecstasy. Almost
to a broom-thick mustache and a gray Ford all the genres that constitute Mexican popular
truck, a glorious, well-rounded stomach is our musicthe aforementioned norteo, the brassband strut of banda sinaloense, son jarochos
ultimate proof of machismo.
A panzas layers of fat fuel our insatiable twinkling harps and guitars, even the dark
work ethic; its orbital shape is a testament riffs of Mexican heavy metalput the focus
to the wives we keep in kitchens at home. on rhythms rather than lyrics (the exception
Gabachos might work out, but taut muscles is ranchera, the domain of drunkards and
cannot compete with the centripetal force
of a panza. Kids flock to it; crowds stare

macho pussy men).

But dancing for Mexicans is more than

in jealousy when a magnificent specimen a mere physical act. Every hallmark moment
passes by. So when we rub our panzas, in Mexican society centers on dances
we pat the larded treasure that brings us weddings, baptisms, informal gatherings,
success, popularity and prosperityrecall

birthdays, anniversaries. More noteworthy

how Buddhists massage Siddharthas plump are the dances held by hometown benefit
associations that raise billions of dollars for the
belly for luck.

Male 600 180 lbs

DOB: 11/16/1983
CHARGE: Failure to
appear/ possession of
a controlled substance

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, March 16, 2015 at 8:40 AM and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

12

COMAL COUNTYS

coincidence, rebuilding of villages in Mexico.

Tellingly, Mexican society does not
Theravada Buddhists celebrate a mid-July
consider
girls and boys to be women or
holiday called Khao Pansa, where the
And,

in

an

amazing

faithful live in monasteries for three months

and conclude with a gluttonous festival of
foodall in the name of expanding that
sweet, sweet panza.

men until they begin to dance. Once theyre

eligible to dance, Mexicans are eligible to

take care of their community, too. Mexicans
know that dancing solidifies trust, creates
community, repairs the injured civic and

Dear Mexican: Not long ago, I personal soul. Besides, its a great way for
attended a Los Tigres del Norte concert Mexican adolescents to grope each other in a
at a small hall with no dance floor. The parent-approved environment.
people attending were supposed to sit
down and enjoy the music. Five minutes
Ask the Mexican at
into the music, these jumping beans
themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
started dancing in the aisle. Within
Twitter
@gustavoarellano or follow him
minutes, half of the attendees were
on
Instagram
@gustavo_arellano!
going up and down the aisles dancing
to the music. Its not the first time
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13

Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On Education

system where curriculum is geared to the lowest

common denominator and what is received for
involved
in
education,
and
these
answers
are
It looks like election 2016 is ready to begin.
Youd think something slated to take place in sometimes at cross purposes. Most parents education is increasingly valueless. It might be
November 2016 might wait until at least 2015 have some vague notion that they would like better to make substantial distinctions between
was over, but youd be wrong. Hillary Clinton, their children to receive an education that gives the grades based on purpose and return to a
the likely Democratic candidate, will probably them greater opportunities in life than they system where a wide variety of educational
announce her intention to run for President early had. The reality of this seems to lie somewhere choices are available. An example of such a
next month, if only to give the press something between vocational training and learning for its system might include the following options:
to write about other than her emails, and
the Republican candidates have been gladhanding it across the primary states for a couple
of months now. Regardless of announcements,
we all know whos in this thing.
I expect the major issues in the actual
election will be security and the economy.
Democrats are wrong on both of these, so
barring a worthwhile Libertarian candidate,
I will either vote Republican or not at all,
again. (There is some hope that Rand Paul
will win the Republican nomination, and if he
does, my support will be more enthusiastic.)
None of this is to say that Republicans are
right on either issue, but they are substantially
less wrong, and you cant have everything,
particularly in American politics. One area of
real interest that will almost certainly not make
it beyond the Republican primary is education.
Republican candidates are making comments
about education, mostly in passing, because
Common Core is a fractious issue. Some of
the more conservative candidates hate it,
and some of the less conservative candidates
support it. I would like for the record to make
clear that I know nothing about Common Core,
and I do not support it. I do agree, though, that
we do have a real problem with education in
this country, and without a discussion of some
depth regarding it, we will almost certainly
pay a hefty price.
I feel justified in dismissing Common
Core out-of-hand because it is just the latest in
an apparently never-ending line of programs
proposed by the Federal government to fix
the education system. As a libertarian, I tend
to think that it was the Federal governments
involvement that created the problem in the
first place, but regardless of where we want
to place the blame, there will be no solution
until some of the basic underlying principles of
education are discussed and agreed upon. The
most fundamental of these is determining why

are a good number of answers for people

Graded school would represent a simple

are looking for. Educators, particularly those standard of education deemed necessary for
involved in graded and high school, often see all adults of average intelligence.
Apprenticeships, internships, and
education as a means to social reform. This
vocational
training would probably be next,
is not true of all teachers by any means, but
even the least ideological of them see school for employment based primarily on skills.
High school would be the standard for
as an important part of socialization. Our
all
students
looking to continue education. A
government wants education to shape the type
of citizenry we have. Patriotism, respect for high school education should be designed to
authority, an understanding of the process, provide the background knowledge needed
and a sense of civic responsibility are common for higher education.
We could still insist that education continue
ideals for politicians (and those connected
until
age eighteen. One of the preceding two
to them) of any stripe. Lastly, there are those
interested primarily in the preservation and steps could fit that requirement.
We currently have associates degrees,
promotion of learning as an intellectual pursuit,
and
they probably should be used more
where all minds should be nurtured to find
frequently. Businesses often insist on a college
those that are truly exceptional.
I fall into the last camp, but its probably education when what they are really looking
the least pragmatic of all the possibilities. The for could be covered in an associates
libertarian approach would leave things up degree. Vocational schools might also require
to the free-market as much as possible, but a a different level of education. This might be
return to private education would be to ignore addressed by adjusting associates degrees,
the fact that public education has been part of expanding lower level vocational schools or
this country nearly since its inception. The next using specialized vocational schools. Levels of
best option to my mind is to have the decision schooling beyond this point should probably
made by the consumer of the product (The not be part of this conversation. The students
interests of government can be addressed with became adults about two bullet points back,
a good civics class, and someone really should so the consumer has changed, and this level of
slap around the more ideologically driven of education really should be something attained
my educational brethren and tell the rest of us only for very specific goals.
I would love to see this type of discussion
to grow a backbone and insist that parents do
in
politics.
There wouldnt be anywhere near
their own damn job), and since children are too
young to make decisions for themselves, this the opportunity for gotcha moments, but
would be the parents. Now all we have to do some actual progress might be made. I would
is get parents to agree on what it is they want. still insist that education should be privatized
I think part of the reason that parents across the board, but those who are not of the
dont generally have a clear view of what libertarian mindset ought to be served better
education should mean and why we should by both parties than to be continually given
do it is because they recognize that children nothing but platitudes and empty promises.
American education needs a change, and
are different and that no single answer will
Americans are fully capable of deciding how
suit every case. The solution to this may be a
to do it. Our education system should not
return to some of the more classical elements
continue to be in the hands of a select few.
of education in this country. Our insistence on
own sake, with neither being exactly what they

we are educating our children in the first place. a national standard of a high school education
The question of why we educate our for all doesnt seem to have worked in the

children may seem like an easy one, but there long run. In fact, it appears to have created a
14

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.

blogspot.com.

Est. 1986
Dust off your dancing shoes and head
over to NBs largest dance floor.

FREE March
Dance Lessons
Country Waltz
Every Friday 7pm-8pm
Followed by Live Music

Sat: DJ Dance @ 9pm

Sun: Happy Hour ALL Day
Mon: FREE DARTS
Tues: LIVE MUSIC @ 7pm
Wed: LADIES NIGHT
Free Pool & Jukebox
Thurs: KARAOKE
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Like us on FB Watering Hole Saloon & Dancehall

HAPPY COW
B A R

&

G R I L L

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday

Lonnie Key and

Texas Connection

Saturday
Steel Penny

Tuesday
Open Mic

Wednesday
Comedy at The Cow

9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

THIS IS YOUR SAMPLE BALLOT

Tear it out, take it with you!

Perform your due diligence before voting. Eat those pizzas. Sample those margaritas. Soak in the Texas mojo. Then stagger to your
computer and vote at txcitizen.ROCKS. The survey ends on April 9, with results printed in our April 16 edition.

EAT - DRINK - VOTE

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Kora Kora Coffee
NB Coffee Co
On the Grind
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Crosswalk Cafe - Westpointe
Crosswalk Cafe - Plaza
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Olives Italian Market
New York Pizza Pub
Blue Moose Pizza

Best Place to Trigger Insulin Spike

Sweet Dreams Bakery
Gourmet Ice Co
Babycake Truffles
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Donut Palace

Beyond the Cheese: Best Local Treat

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San Juanita's Taqueria
Taqueria El Sazon Tapatio
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Johnny Macs Truck Wash
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Fire Water:
Best Full-On Texas Style Bar
The Watering Hole Saloon
Phoenix Saloon
Conways Dance Hall
Old Ice House
Happy Cow
Billys Ice House
Rileys Tavern
Hoity Toit Beer Joint

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Adobe Verdes Frog Dip

Oma Gruenes German Nachos
Phoenix Saloons Frito-Pie
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15

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YOUR FIRST TREATMENT IS

Any 3 Rooms

$69

Call Garrett Matocha

at 830.660.4772

HELP WANTED
PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE
Bartender and Cocktail Server
Apply in Person or Call
830-625-8017
Ask for Haley

RAMADA INN

Hotel Front Desk Agent

Night Auditor
Apply in Person or Call
830-625-8017
Ask for Dan

Half-Off One Entree

with purchase of another entree and two drinks.

One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 03/31/15

A $30 Value. New Patients Only. Cannot Be Combined

With Other Offers. Offer Expires March 31, 2015

Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday

Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
BEST
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(830) 822-6315

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Cocktail Dos Rita

TEX-MEX COCINA Y CANTINA

830.629.0777 1724 Hunter Road, New Braunfels

"Bringing personalized service back to pharmacy."

We are proud to offer:
Prescription Services, Compounding,
OTC Medication & Durable Medical Equipment

You pay the same copay and get more value!

910 Gruene Rd. #3
830.387.4378
grueneroadpharmacy.com

N
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/GrueneRoadPharmacy

AN

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337

ON

46

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PHOTOGRAPHER

Real Estate

Introductory Special

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