Kait Wilson

March 26, 2015

University Honors Program
A Room of My Own: A Personal Reflection
In studying closely my successes and struggles in classes, on-campus clubs, internships
and activism, I put my finger on the trend that tells the story of how I got where I am today. My
journey at UNC Charlotte very closely parallels feminist theorist Elaine Showalters three phases
of women in literature: the feminine, feminist and female. In her book A Literature of their
Own (1977), Showalter writes about the characteristics of English woman writers. She
theorizes that there are patterns of evolution in female writing and they easily reflect the changes
in female traditions of the time. Just as the entire feminist movement has been divided into three
waves, Showalter uses her own three phases to show the progression of womens involvement
and acceptance into the world of English literature. Showalter dates the beginning of her
feminine phase at around 1840 when women, with the exception of a few earlier examples such
as Jane Austen, began publishing. There was not much acceptance for woman writers at the time,
and the women who did write closely imitated male writers. Showalters feminist phase begins in
the 1880s, at which time women become more vocal and advocated for womens rights in their
literature. Finally, according to Showalter, around 1920, women reject both of these forms. They
abandon protest and imitating men, instead simply using their experiences to write, choosing
their own paths: this is Showalters female phase.
To provide a short introduction about my current identity, I reflect that, at this time, as an
imminent college graduate. Part of me reflects Showalters female phase, the final phase of her

model. I am career-driven, savvy and independent. I am bold and outspoken about issues I am
passionate about and always looking for opportunity to make a difference in the world. My
interests are especially piqued when examining culture, discussing social justice issues and
critically questioning our gendered society. Concurrently, and interestingly, I have chosen the
male-dominated field of Accounting and Finance, at which I excel, and for which I have already
developed my post-collegiate career. And despite my outspoken nature, a nature that would have
once most likely been prescribed as hysterical or neurotic, (Showalter) I have been accepted
into this world of the mathematically inclined. At age 21, this situates me in a quite unique,
juxtaposed, and self-reflective place. Because of these reasons, I interestingly find myself in the
first historical phase, Showalters feminine phase. Although I am not in the literary field and
have chosen this male-dominated career, I have traced connections between Showalters phases
and my own, except that my path has interestingly occurred in reverse.
I will use these phases to depict my undergraduate experience. In addition, for each of
these phases I have used a different one of my favorite works of feminist literature to illustrate
my experience in that phase. My journey through each phase will be denoted by artifacts, or
tangible objects that represent a specific event.

My Awakening - The Female Phase

Showalters third phase, the Female phase, has an overarching theme of self-discovery
driven by womens effort to identify, analyze and articulate the female experience. According to
Showalter, women from the 1920s consistently reject both imitation and protest, which they
believe are two forms of dependency, and turn to female experience as the source of an
autonomous art instead (Showalter). These rebellious females used their own trusted experiences

as a form of self-government instead of trusting those around them for guidance. Famous woman
writers at the time, including Rebecca West, Katherine Mansfield, Dorothy Richardson and
others, each embodied the values of this emerging belief. One woman writer embodied this trend
before the 1920s phase began, but was ostracized because of her progressive writing technique.
Although the novel was written in 1899, Kate Chopins The Awakening was not popular or
socially accepted until around the time the Female phase began. Through Edna Pontellier, the
emerging self-aware protagonist, Chopin depicts the self-discovery and freedom women sought
for themselves around this time. In addition, Ednas journey from entrapment to rebirth and
individuality embodies the very transformation I experienced as a freshman at UNC Charlotte.
The first artifact of my female experience in college is a combination of my final
portfolio for Arts and Society class (LBST 1105) and reflection for my World through
Film class (LBST 2101). Coming from a small community in Lexington, North Carolina, the
main ideals I was exposed to revolved around church and football. My public high school had
minimal outlets for creative thinking, and although I consider myself to be very left brain
dominant, I know I would have benefited from a higher degree of right brain engagement. I
knew that college would offer some sort of relief, but I expected the classes to be more along the
lines of the history of art or music, which sounded dry to me. However, I was pleasantly
surprised by the selection offered.
When I was accepted to the University Honors Program, I immediately began sorting
through potential liberal studies classes. I knew that, since liberal studies were a general
education requirement, I might as well choose something that would expose me to the creative
stimuli I lacked back home. The first class I took, Arts and Society, required me to analyze
works of visual art through a critical lens. I visited numerous art museums around Charlotte for

the first time in my life and even met some of the local artists. One of these artists, David
Theissen, shared with me his affinity for the dogs of Asheville. Because of this experience, I was
able to see art from the creators perspective, understanding the process that brought the piece
into being. This was especially beneficial when I was required to create my own artistic
interpretation of my favorite pieces from the museums. After understanding how artists derive
their inspirations, I was able to find my own and animate it by means of simple watercolor. I
recreated a vivid memory of my late pet schnauzer, Kramer, in my sunglasses and connected it to
a piece David Theissen did of a dog in Asheville. I also connected a painting of a womans
crying eye to photographs in the Mint museum of abused women, a woman with sewn lips to
work in the Union gallery representing womens loss of voice and a ladybug on a flower to
issues with environmental protection we viewed at the Light Factory. Although my painting may
have been mediocre, this experience opened my eyes to my ability to interpret and create art as I
never thought I could. I began using water color as a therapeutic measure to help my anxiety
when classes and even interpersonal relationships were stressful.
World through Film was undoubtedly my favorite liberal studies class, as I not only
got insight into different cultural practices, but also the trying political and social situations that
the people faced. In my final reflection, I critically analyzed the themes of cultural clashes,
borders, and the dichotomy between the privileged and the working class through films from
numerous cultures from Tokyo to Morocco. My favorites were Departures, directed by Yojiro
Takita, a film examining the rituals surrounding death in Japan, and Amores Perros, directed
by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, a series of three stories that converge through a single act of
violence.

In my reflection, I speak of how understanding symbols and metaphors have always been
difficult for me without a professor pointing them out beforehand. This was true in high school
of most books I read and even the first few films we watched in World through Film. I
remember listening to the class discussions after the first film ended and thinking how did you
derive that idea from a simple camera shot? However, as I reflected on each analysis of the
weekly films, it was easy to see my growth from naivety to quickly catching references of
foreshadowing and overarching themes. Although I often miss the subtle symbols a film
portrays, I still love watching foreign films.
These classes gave me the opportunity to see the world through a lens that was not math
or science based, and took me beyond the small town life I was used to. Just as The Awakenings
Edna Pontellier began her own self-discovery through creating art for her own self and not the
enjoyment of others, my brain was finally being used to its full potential as I was exposed to
possible new passions and discoveries through art and film. My reflections mirror Ednas
breakthroughs as she begins to acknowledge and name her own emotions and beliefs (Chopin).
There seems to be one certain similarity between my Art and Society and World through
Film reflections: womens rights. Although I speak of other inequities throughout my reflections,
such as race, class and economic disparities, which are what I now believe to be intersectional to
feminism, gender equality rears its head far more often. I think that if my life were a foreign
film, these reflections would foreshadow my entrance into the feminist world, which is certainly
not as acceptable as one would like it to be. However, just as Ednas Creole friends show her that
is it acceptable to think and even speak about her own feelings through the art of making music
for herself and not the entertainment of others (Chopin), these classes proved to me that I could

not only formulate these beliefs about womens rights but also write about them and possibly
influence others through verbalizing them.
My next artifact is some of my writings and observations from my first Womens and
Gender Studies Class (WGST 1101), a class that undoubtedly changed my life forever. Growing
up in a conservative town, I barely heard about feminism; if I did it was not presented to me in a
positive notion that was attractive and welcoming. To put it nicely, feminism was frowned upon
where I am from. The very conventional beliefs that were rooted in my town prevented me from
ever learning about, or becoming interested in such a radical set of convictions, and I was
completely blind to the awakening that would become of this new interest. As I was around
students from a variety of backgrounds when I moved to Charlotte, I began hearing about Kelly
Finleys Intro to Womens and Gender Studies class that was a foundation for feminists
on campus. At that time, I was unsure about my career path and decided to get all my core
general education courses out of the way. I knew I would need a non-major elective, and this
Womens Studies class sounded like the perfect fit and something I may pursue after the class
was over.
Although the first class each semester is primarily filled with technicalities of syllabi, just
merely reviewing the topics we were about to uncover was a huge eye-opener for me. Kelly not
only brought up the topics most people relate directly to feminism, such as domestic violence
and reproductive rights, but also the issues not quickly associated with gender inequality like
masculinity expectations for men and queer and transgender issues. Simply hearing about these
topics was a sort of shock to me. I remember thinking it was unfortunate that I had not thought
about these pressing inequities that face people in their everyday life. I immediately began to pay
attention to simple things like phrases men use to assert masculinity such as Man up! or Grow
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a pair! and tried to associate these to how women were impacted. Before the second class, I was
already a budding feminist with a knack for calling out patriarchy. I began to invite my friends to
my classes and eagerly participate in debates and discussions, which I was usually hesitant to do
in a large class setting. This class not only set the foundation in my life for becoming a Womens
Studies student and a feminist, but also introduced me to a wide range of topics that I became
passionate about. I knew from then on my life would be changed for the better, reminiscent of
Ednas words, How many years have I slept? ...The whole island seems changed (Chopin).
My entrance into the feminist world was groundbreaking, and I am eternally grateful for
the knowledge and compassion that I have gained by being a Womens and Gender Studies
student. However, just as Edna struggled throughout her journey with solitude as a consequence
of independence, I had my own battles. Throughout Ednas journey, it seemed that the more
ability she gained to express herself, the less people around her understood and supported her.
Because very few women were brave enough to brave the unconventional, the more Edna
discovered her strengths outside the norm, the more she felt alone (Chopin). There was no one to
share her discovery with, much less to empathize with her. In the same way, the more I learned
about feminism and wanted to become involved in activism, the less I could share with the
people I loved, specifically my parents. As conservative Baptists, the mere mention of the word
feminism seemed to make their heads explode the first time I mentioned it to them. I was not
expecting them to be ecstatic over my interest and belief in those values, but I certainly was not
anticipating anger. The utter shock that their only daughter was involved in something reserved
in their minds for angry, hairy, man-hating lesbians was too much for them to accept. I could tell
that they did their best to shelter me from the peril of the anti-Christian thought that is feminism.
Although I have never been one to keep my opinions to myself or really care what others think of

me for that matter, knowing my parents disapproved of something that was becoming so
important to me definitely felt hurtful.
Just as in The Awakening Edna struggled through her awakening, I had my bouts because
of my new found passion. The Awakening positions and subtly parallels Ednas children as a
symbol of her own rebirth and discovery of the world through a fresh perspective (Chopin).
However, she was also like a child in that she failed to think realistically about the future and the
impact of her decisions on her own children. In the same way, as I was discerning these new
interests and passions, I knew I had to begin thinking about the impact of my academic choices
on my future career, one that I had yet decided on. As much as I felt drawn to Womens Studies, I
knew there was only a minor offered at UNC Charlotte. I declared Womens and Gender Studies
as my minor one day after Kellys lecture on reproductive rights. However, this field of study did
not follow my tendency to choose a safe and consistent career, since I have always been a very
practical person who does not like uncertainty about possible jobs after college. The thought of
not having the certainty of a career in such a rocky economy was terrifying to me, which
naturally led me to want to pursue something safe. This is where my struggle to choose a major
became more urgent.
The last artifact that I believe is a depiction of my awakening and female phase
experience is a balance sheet, representative of my experience as an Accounting major and
member of the Belk Business College. As far as I can remember, I dreamed of being a
veterinarian. However, as I started volunteering at animal shelters, I began to understand that
veterinarians did not always get to help heal animals. Once I learned about the perils of shelter
overcrowding and chronic diseases that result in euthanasia for animals, I was completely turned
off by the thought of having to be the person responsible for that deed. I tried to find a stable and
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promising career path that involved working with animals, but I unfortunately found no
resolution. When I came to UNC Charlotte, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to major in. I
knew what I was good at the typical left-brain interests like math and science, but I had no clue
where to go from there. I also liked anatomy and physiology, but I did not want to go into the
nursing field or prolong my time in school to be a doctor. I had nowhere to turn, so I looked to
the campus career center, which set me up for a Strong Interest Inventory assessment to point me
in the right direction. This assessment scored my answers based on the Holland Codes, which are
realistic, investigative, artistic, social, enterprising, and conventional, and gave suggestions of
career paths based on these types. Not to my surprise, I was categorized as realistic, investigative
and conventional, making my top fifteen career fits a mixture of medical science and
mathematics. Toward the middle was a field I had been told about, but always thought it seemed
so boring: accountant, the bean counter. Feeling a bit defeated, I decided to try out a business
class, Economics for Non-Majors. The course was not too bad and I was fairly good at it, so I
decided to continue forward with the business track.
My first few accounting classes were relatively easy. I had to do a bit of studying and
rereading to understand the concepts, but they were interesting and challenging enough to keep
my attention. The topics were not necessarily ones that you would hear about on a regular basis,
and learning about things I never heard of was exciting to me. However, as one would typically
expect, the classes got harder; in fact accounting got ridiculously tough very quickly.
Intermediate Financial Accounting took up most of my time relative to any class I had that
semester, but Intermediate Financial Accounting II knocked me down in the blink of an eye. The
topics were no longer interesting because I already understood the basics of accounting, but the
concepts were more involved and increasingly difficult before I could force myself to understand

the topic we just covered. As expected, my grades started slipping, along with my interest in
accounting as an academic subject and especially as a career choice. Luckily I already had my
job locked in at Ally Financial, or I would have panicked even more. Because I so quickly
wanted nothing to do with accounting, I wanted to switch my major to Finance with a
concentration in Accounting. However, with the number of classes I had already taken toward
my Accounting major, it would have been a waste of time to drop the whole major, so I consulted
with my Business College advisor who recommended that I double major in Accounting and
Finance.
For people outside of the corporate business world, Finance and Accounting may sound
like the same thing: just keeping up with money. However, there is a big difference between the
two. Accountants keep track of account balances, such as cash, inventories and equipment, and
track liabilities, such as services owed to customers, salaries owed to employees, and common
stock and bonds in the companys name. Accountants make journal entries into systems provided
by companies to change the balances based on transactions that have occurred. For example, if a
company sold a shirt for five dollars, an accountant would make a journal entry to increase cash
on hand by five dollars and decrease inventory by five dollars. Then at the end of the fiscal year,
accountants put together financial reports for investors of the company, showing how many
assets and liabilities the company has, as well as how much revenue they brought in and
expenses they spent throughout the year. On the other hand, Finance is more focused on the
interpretation of these accounts and planning the distribution of the companys assets. For
example, a company will forecast how much money each group gets allocated to spend on
people (compensation, health benefits, taxes, etc.), vendor expenses (outsourcing for auditing
costs or other projects), travel and entertainment expenses, and more.

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I came into the university culture with no leads toward a possible career, but by using the
people and resources available to me, I found accounting. I realized during my accounting
journey that I did not belong in that culture, one where the work is based around structured
mathematical rules and not much interpretation, so I kept my foot in the accounting door while I
ventured in another direction. I found a much better fit in the finance world, where I can use my
investigative skills to read between the lines of the numbers. This is representative of the selfdiscovery and autonomy through experience that the female phase is all about. I chose the field
of accounting and finance and sought out to make it my own.
Interestingly, my position in the female phase, in Showalters sense, much resembles the
symbol of music to Ednas exploration of art. In the novel, Adele Ratignolle plays the piano for
others enjoyment while Madmoiselle Reisz uses music as a form of self-expression, not caring
about entertaining outsiders (Chopin). Adele clearly represents the expectation of women to put
on a show and act a certain way for the enjoyment of others, while Madmoiselle Reisz
completely embodies the female phase in that she is using her experience as a form of art. This
clash between what is safe and expected of Edna and what she wants causes problems for her
throughout the novel. In the same way, my choice of Accounting and Finance clashes with my
commitments to feminism and animal rights. They are oil and vinegar, not mixing well together
and causing problems for my conscience. I knew when I was choosing a major that business
school would be the safe and steady bet, though it may not make me happy. The implications of
my gamble would soon break into my life, which I will delve into further in my explication of
the feminine phase.
A Roaring Inside Me - The Feminist Phase

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Showalter also explores the feminist phase, a time in history in which women rejected
conventional femininity and began to use literature to dramatize the ordeals of wronged
womanhood (Showalter). Women developed a sense of injustice, causing them to protest against
male domination and demand autonomy through equal rights between classes and sexes and at
work. This is the phase in which women of the 1880s to the 1920s inserted themselves in the
responsibilities they believed they had for their suffering sisters. Famous woman writers of the
time were Elizabeth Gaskell and Frances Trollope, who express a personal sense of injustice in
their everyday life related to class and gender. In the same way that these women found causes
they were determined to make a difference in, I inserted myself in two huge activist topics:
womens rights and animal rights.
I believe that there is an overarching theme of ecofeminism in this feminist phase of my
life, one that I did not put together until recently. Ecofeminism is the link between the
exploitation of womens bodies to exploitation of animals and the environment (Lorber 134).
Susan Griffin speaks perfectly to this belief in The Roaring Inside Her:
He says that woman speaks with nature. That she hears voices from under the earth.
That wind blows in her ears and trees whisper to her. That the dead sing through her
mouth and the cries of infants are close to her. (Prologue)
Although not all feminists do see women as being inherently connected with nature,
Griffin claims that, from a patriarchal perspective, men notice the disconnect they have with
nature compared to women. Ecofeminists believe that womens learned nurturing qualities are
linked to a caring for nature, and mens exploitation of womens bodies is analogous to their
exploitation of natural resources (Lorber 134). Womens sympathy for the environment is

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depicted through their communication through whispers and singing and the blowing of wind.
The sympathies of women may be easily accepted by the environment, since the environment
does not see women as a threat to its existence. On the other hand, according to Griffin, man has
lost touch with the environment, unable to communicate with the things they oppress and
destroy, and rightfully so. The dialogue for men is over; they set themselves apart from woman
and nature.
Applying these concepts, the first artifact representative of this phase is my portfolio
from the UHP Community Service Seminar during my first semester in college. It was a
requirement of the course to select one organization to volunteer with for a certain number of
hours that semester and to base our reflections each few weeks on our experiences at the
organization. We read essays and poems chosen by the instructor to relate to our experiences and
also to use as advice for our times volunteering. I had no trouble deciding what kind of
organization I wanted to be involved with. I had volunteered at animal shelters since I was little
and even had my birthday party there when I was eight, asking that my friends bring supplies for
the shelter rather than presents for me. Since I moved to Charlotte, I knew that I wanted to get
involved with an animal shelter, but I was not sure where to start in such a big city. I checked out
Animal Control of Charlotte, but their process for getting on board was extensive and timeconsuming since they are required to conduct background checks. However I was pressed for
time in order to get started volunteering for my class, and the center was a bit far out of the way
for someone not used to all the traffic around the city. I then contacted the Humane Society of
Charlotte, but it was also a long drive, especially on weekdays when I planned to go. Last I
checked the Humane Society of Concord and Greater Cabarrus County, located not far from the
Charlotte Motor Speedway and certainly away from rush hour traffic.

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The budding ecofeminist in me decided to pay a visit to sign the application forms and
take a look around. I am very selective about shelters that I volunteer with. I knew that if I was
going to be there long term, I did not want to be involved in a shelter that euthanized animals for
any reason but emergency health issues. I had been in a shelter like that before, and it sent me
straight into a depression, crying the whole way home every day for the lives I could not save. I
also did not want to be involved in a shelter that was not serious about making sure adopting
animal parents underwent background checks that disclosed their animals history. Lastly, I
wanted a place that felt like my getaway for the next four years of college. Luckily, this shelter
met every single criterion I had. I walked through the doors and everything just felt right; it felt
like home to me. There was a man sitting at a table with a couple, talking about the huge
responsibility of taking care of a pet and having them fill out an application to adopt. A woman
immediately greeted me and showed me around. There were so many animals in that small
building that I could not believe it when she took me out into the kennels to show me more. I
was ready to start that day.
The experience I had at the Humane Society of Concord that semester changed my life
forever. I was allowed to be involved with more parts of running the shelter than I had ever been
exposed to. Although volunteers were not supposed to handle most of these parts, the shelter
director, Mike, trusted me quickly and gave me interesting things to do, rather than simply
cleaning kennels and filling water and food bowls. I was allowed to prepare medications, visit
and take care of the newly born and mothers, and even just spend a day in the parvo room. The
parvo room contained a couple of dogs who contracted Parvovirus, a contagious illness that is
sometimes fatal. It was important that someone stay with these dogs the entire day because if you
intermingled between them and the outside dogs, disease quickly spreads, especially when there

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are new litters around. I loved walking into the parvo room to skittish and unsure pups, and
leaving with their trust. Sitting in the room playing and bonding with a recovering pup was one
of the most privileged jobs I had at the shelter. I was extremely grateful that the shelter saved
these animals who would have died without them funding their treatment.
Every day at the shelter was life changing in some way for me. Although most of my
days consisted of simply letting dogs out into the fenced backyard and playing with them for
hours, I saw everything from a blood hound the Cabarrus Police Department left in our care for
the week to an extremely underweight and abused Great Dane trusted to the Humane Society
while its human was on trial for its mistreatment. The most life altering part about volunteering
at the shelter is coming back to animals who I fell in love with who found a happy home. Not
being given the chance to say goodbye to my best friend at the shelter tore me apart. Every day I
would spend hours with Daisy, a yellow lab and pit bull mix that had been a resident at the
Humane Society for two and a half years. All of the volunteers knew her temperament; she was
not friendly with other dogs whatsoever, but she absolutely loved children. She could not be in
the same room as another dog, but she would let kids climb all over her while she stood there
seemingly grinning. She had been adopted three times before, each time being brought back.
Ignoring our heeds about her impatience with other dogs, once a woman took Daisy to a dog
park and you can imagine how that went. The woman immediately brought her back to the
shelter, breaking our hearts once again for sweet Daisy. The bond I had with Daisy easily
parallels the bond woman has with nature in The Roaring Inside Her. Daisy and I had a way of
communicating that no one else could understand. She was usually a very independent from
people, wanting to run the yards alone and chase bugs. However she never missed a chance to
lay on the pavement with me and sunbathe or toss a Frisbee when there was one lying around

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that was not chewed to pieces. Our bond was perplexing to outsiders, just as womans bond with
nature was confusing to the men outside of the relationship. I wished every day that I could take
her home with me, but my apartment did not allow dogs.
At the end of my sophomore fall semester, I did not visit the shelter for about a week
since I was busy studying for exams, and I definitely had a hard time keeping away. I knew when
I came back there would be some cute new faces, but I was not expecting my favorite face to be
gone. A friend of Mikes adopted daisy, which made me feel at ease about her new home. As
much as I was ecstatic that Daisy finally found her home, I knew I would never see her again and
that really upset me. I still miss that sassy creature and I have one of the many newspaper
adoption ads of her pinned to my refrigerator. Daisy is that constant reminder of the love and
friendship built in a shelter and why I love what I do.
The experiences I have gained volunteering at the Humane Society through the UHP
Community Service Seminar also helped me in other classes. In Freshman Seminar, we were to
write a paper about something we believed in. The prompts were limitless. For my paper, I chose
to write about my belief in bathing puppies. This assignment, mirroring the essays on the public
website This I Believe, is my second artifact in the female phase. Although it was never a set
procedure at the shelter, when a new dog came in to the shelter, I always gave him or her a bath.
The shelter had a full-sized tub that was elevated so it was easy to wash the animals. Many times
the dogs were too big, so I had to take them out back if it was not cold and use the hose in the
fenced-in area instead. Throughout my paper I talk about the bathing experience as a bridge
between a dogs life of neglect and sometimes abuse to a new life of love at the Humane Society
and eventually their new family. The animals usually fought the wash at first, not exactly trusting
me. They constantly try to claw their way out of the tub, slipping and sliding everywhere and
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soaking me in the process. I did not mind, though, because I knew the better the pup smelled, the
more likely he or she would be adopted quicker. One specific incident I wrote about was about a
litter of puppies that came in on a pretty hectic day. These little creatures were wheeled in right at
my feet, covered in so much mud that I could not even tell what color or breed they were. They
all scrambled away when I reached in the crate to grab one to wash, and they squirmed until I got
them into the tub where they tried to climb out when I reached for soap. It never got old seeing
them slowly but surely calm down and accept that the bath did feel pretty nice. By the end of
their baths they loved me, licked my face and wanted to be picked back up as soon as I put them
into their new clean crate. I made one huge connection in this paper:
Even though I wasnt the person that saved him, I was the first he made a
connection with. He innately knew I helped him and it didnt matter how much he
growled and scratched, I was caring for him. No matter the past he had before I saw him,
I believe that bath began his clean slate to a new and beautiful life. Even though this new
chapter began in a shelter, it is the one that will show him the most love and affection he
has had so far.
I posted my This I Believe essay on the official public website in hopes to make a difference
for animals in anyones life that I could possibly reach.
My last artifact of the animal realm sums up my love for shelter animals and my attempt
to make sure the value of caring for unwanted pets never disappears. I decided to get a tattoo of
paw prints on my left shoulder when I was pushed to make a decision on declaring my major. As
I said before, I wanted so badly to work with animals, but I could not find the right career that
would put me in that position immediately. When I decided on Accounting, I thought maybe I

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could graduate and pursue a Certificate in Non-Profit Organizations and then work for the
ASPCA or Humane Society corporate office. However, I knew nothing about the accounting
field, and I worried that the money I was offered would sound irresistible and trap me in
Corporate America forever without the opportunity making a difference. Because I could not
bear the thought of a life without serving homeless animals and could not predict that I would
not get too wrapped up in the Corporate America culture, I wanted to do something to remind
myself every day of what I believe my purpose in life is. My tattoo is a visual reminder that no
matter where I end up, no matter whom I have to impress, and no matter how far up in a
company I move, I will always belong to animal rights and rescue. I got that tattoo around three
years ago, and I still believe it was the best decision I have ever made, especially now that I am
actually a part of Corporate America and can truly appreciate how accurate my thought was back
then.
My experience volunteering at the Humane Society along with my essay and tattoo
clearly coincide with ecofeminism. Showalters declaration that women in the feminist phase
begin to analyze and criticize societys wrongdoings through literature is reflected in my This I
Believe essay. In this case, I saw the pain and suffering that humans were inflicting upon their
own companion animals and turned it into an essay that I took pride in and believed could
potentially impact other people who read it. The injustice these animals were experiencing was
personal to me. I took a stand by volunteering and writing in protest of the domination over
animals that humans felt entitled to.
The last artifact of my feminist phase is a flyer from the club that I co-founded and
served as Treasurer for, UNCC VOX: Voices for Planned Parenthood. Mary-Wren Ritchie, the
president of the club, and I met at a yoga class on campus where our first conversation was about
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her shirt with a huge birth control packet on it. We were immediate friends, and she invited me to
a Charlotte meeting with the Planned Parenthood Field Coordinator of North Carolina, Emily
Callen, who wanted some branches for outreach in the University area. We met at a coffee shop
outside of downtown Charlotte and got information about the different campaigns Planned
Parenthood of North Carolina had proposed for the year. We talked about fundraising, STD
testing and political activism in the capitol, all of which could be done on a smaller scale on
campus. Mary-Wren and I spoke with Emily after the meeting was over and got some advice on
starting our own club in Planned Parenthoods name. She was very excited about our
commitment and sent us start-up supplies for flyers and other creative ideas and even brought
pizza to our first meeting.
The university club branches of Planned Parenthood were called UNCC VOX; VOX
meaning voice in Latin. We held a few really great events throughout the year, such as Get
Yourself Tested, a campaign to promote STD awareness, Sex Trivia, a Jeopardy game to promote
sexual health, a campus Slut Walk, protesting victim blaming in sexual assault, documentary
viewings, such as No Woman No Cry, and meetings to call politicians about the sneaky bills
they were passing to slowly but surely chip away at Roe v. Wade and roll back womens rights
altogether. We quickly recruited freshmen at the Niner Nights portion of their orientation,
offering free condoms even if they did not sign up for email updates. It was interesting seeing the
shock on their faces when women were so upfront about sex. We also went ahead and gave
information to high school seniors who were on a tour of the school. The looks of shock on
parents faces when they saw our posters reading SEX TRIVIA! were absolutely priceless.
One woman grabbed her daughters hand and pulled her along with the group when the girl
looked interested as they passed. A few seconds later, the girl ran up to us, grabbed a condom and

19

a flyer with a sincere thank you! and rushed back to her mother. I could not help but see myself
in her.
As the club became more popular and we gained more members, the meeting times and
events became more demanding. VOX took a great deal of time to start up and especially to
serve as an officer in; eventually, I had to step down as Treasurer as my job and school work
became far too burdensome. Looking back on my involvement in UNCC VOX, I cannot help but
think I made some difference in the lives of women on campus. From protesting the patriarchal
notion of women asking for it when they are sexual assaulted simply by what their wearing to
calling attention to conservative attempts to take away a womans right to her own body, I think
the club changed lives.
Through my time as the Treasurer of VOX, I noticed a correlation between the activism
for Planned Parenthood and my ecofeminist nature. In the ecofeminist way, women are seen as
the givers of life: we bear the children. Although many people who oppose Planned Parenthoods
operations because they see abortion as the ending of a life (even though abortion counts for
only a miniscule portion of their services), I see it as a connection to woman as a mother. Just as
women are given this life-giving power by the earth, we are also given the power to choose. We
choose when to give life and when to spare our own struggles. In addition, just as men oppress
the power of the earth by destroying it, they continue to oppress womens right to use their power
of choice. Every legislative act and sneaky campaign proposed is an attack on womens right to
choose to give life, and my position in UNCC VOX served as a means to block this oppression.
To some feminists, women are thought to have some inborn ability to understand nature,
however I believe it is really a protection over the things that cannot speak for themselves. The

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problem with the ecofeminist assumption that women are naturally nurturing is that it
emphasizes women solely as mothers, inherently limiting opportunities for women outside of the
home. Some ecofeminists use this assumption to their advantage, such as Griffin, while others
oppose it. However, assuming that this inclination for nature and its creatures is based on
womens ability to relate with their struggles of oppression removes the inborn nurture
assumption. We as ecofeminists learned to identify with nature as a way of taking care of it, just
as we want for ourselves. I think that this link would explain why I, along with so many other
young girls and women, feel so connected to animals. We care for these animals and the
environment, not because we are born with an inclination for nurturing, but because they have no
voice, just as we have found our voice in the feminist phase. And just as the women of
Showalters feminist period took responsibility for the injustices they saw their sisters going
through, I took a stand for my sisters by becoming involved with progressive feminist activities
on campus.
A Room of my Own - The Feminine Phase
The first phase of Elaine Showalters theory and the third phase for me is the feminine
phase, where women wrote in effort to equal the intellectual achievement of their male
counterparts. Dating from 1840 to 1880, the distinguishing marker of this phase is the male
pseudonym of woman writers, including George Eliot, Currer, and Acton Bell. Women were just
beginning to brave the male-dominated field of writing, but were not accepted enough to move
up in their world, much resembling the glass ceiling of todays time. In the same way, the maledominated field I chose is subtly not as inviting to women as it is to our male counterparts.
Submersing myself in the Corporate American culture was a huge change in lifestyle, and it soon
posed a threat to everything I value.

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My struggle through the feminine phase is accurately depicted by A Room of Ones

Own by Virginia Woolf. In her novel, Woolf explains that in order for women to be successful,
they must have a room of their own; a room where they can be alone with their thoughts, without
the interruptions and impacts of others opinions, especially mens. She claims that if women do
not have a private space of their own, they are doomed to difficulty and even failure. In my
feminine phase, I allude to this room as a psychological room of my own. I have my own
apartment with my own room, but somehow I am still impacted by the opinions and coaxes of
those around me, which I will explain later. For now, it is important to note that I have left my
solitary room since I exited the feminist phase where I was loud and proud about the issues I was
passionate about. I have entered a space where I am constantly surrounded by the strong opinions
of others, which costs me greatly in the end.
The concept of culture is vital in understanding the struggle that I face in the feminine
phase of my experience. To give a quick overview, according to Gary Ferraros Global Brains,
culture is more complex and multi-faceted than most realize. He defines culture with respect to
various things, such as biologists growing bacteria in a petri dish and every day usage referring
to the finer things in life. However, Ferraro as an anthropologist defines culture as everything
that people have, think and do as members of a society (Ferraro 15). This can include anything
from speaking a set language to what the people of the culture value and believe in. In the same
way that American culture has widely accepted traditions such as celebrating the Fourth of July
or watching the Superbowl, various subcultures, such as religious groups, have their separate
practices, too. Subcultures are simply smaller cultures within one larger culture.
The Corporate America subculture was definitely a shock to come into as a student,
simply because the language and especially the communication style of the workplace are
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completely different than any other part time job I have ever had. Before I was in college, I had a
couple of part time jobs. I worked concessions at community baseball games and I was a sales
associate at Justice Clothing for Girls. Concessions had a very laid back culture where the main
concern was hygiene: keeping the food areas and hands clean at all times. The people were very
friendly, but mostly interested in watching the ongoing games while we were not busy. This
seemed to be more like a babysitting culture to me, where I did not clock in and out and no one
was supervising me until it was time to turn in the money. On the other hand, Justice was not
only a more feminine environment, with pink and glitter filling the air instead of dirt and yelling,
but also instilled with more structure around every process than the concessions. I had a special
employee ID and password to clock in and out and to access the registers, and there was a
manager and assistant manager always supervising the floor and involved in every aspect of
running the store. These two working cultures were very different, but neither could have
prepared me for the Corporate America culture that I would soon dive head first into.
In Corporate America, the hierarchy of managers and employees affects even simple
face-to-face and written conversation, and there are plenty of unspoken rules that everyone
seems to pick up on with ease. For example, there is never a situation in which an analyst should
march into the CFOs office to talk about anything, because analysts are too far down on the
totem pole to hold any significant importance to the CFO. It is simple things like this that most
students do not expect coming from the university culture (where a student can usually speak
directly with even a department chair), and it is sometimes hard to adapt to. Not only does
Corporate America have its own culture in general, but each corporation has its individual
culture and takes great pride in it. For example, Ally Financial prides itself in a culture defined
by its LEAD core values. This stands for: look externally, execute with excellence, act

23

with professionalism, and deliver results. Other companies may focus more on driving profit
ratios or creating shareholder and stakeholder value, which alters the corporations culture in
different ways. Although it has been a learning process, I believe I have adapted quickly to the
corporate environment, and I continue to learn more the longer I stay at Ally.
The first artifact representing my feminine phase and the Corporate America subculture is
my intern presentation from my internship at Ally Financial in Global Functions Finance. There
were around 15 interns at the Charlotte site from June to August of 2013 and more interns in
cities like Detroit, New York and Jacksonville. The other interns in Charlotte came from
Clemson, UNC Chapel Hill and Wake Forest. I was the only intern from UNC Charlotte, which
was strange to me since the university is so close to downtown. In my role, I got a glimpse into
the FP&A forecasting, planning and reporting world where, little did I know, I would be
spending the rest of my undergraduate career working. The group I was a part of was responsible
for the Non-Interest Expense portion for various teams, or Global Functions, such as Capital
Markets, Treasury and Audit. My boss and coworkers stayed in close contact with executives that
govern these global functions, who tell them how many people they plan to employ, how much
they will cost, what subscriptions or professional services they plan to use, and many other
expense-related items. They estimate these expenses for the next three years and typically have a
forecast every other month, taking into account months that have passed so far that year, and
report back to the individual global function leaders, CFO and CEO. During my time with
Global Functions, I got to dabble in and practice reporting for the much smaller functions such as
Corporate Strategy and Investor Relations, each with fewer than five employees.
At the end of our two-month stay at Ally Financial, each intern was expected to give a
final presentation in front of the rest of the interns (both in Charlotte and virtually to other cities)
24

and their invited guests. Most people brought their boss, coworkers and mentors. During this
presentation, we were expected to share our perspective on what our groups did, giving an
overview of their work and what we learned over the course of our internships. Some of the
interns focused on the specific work that they were assigned, such as streamlining processes for
running reports out of SAP or how to create a macro for certain processes. However, since
Global Functions Finance was not one of the more well-known groups at Ally, I decided to
introduce everyone to the Global Functions reporting process. On the first slide, I presented the
process flow that Global Functions reports go through to get to the end users of our information,
including where we get our information, what we do with it, and where it goes once it leaves us.
On the second slide I attempt to explain the difference between legal entity reporting and
managerial reporting. This shows that both views equal a whole pie that is simply sliced different
ways, which is difficult for many people to understand. The last slide is a simplified view of
COH (Corporate Overhead) allocation, a huge part of the Global Functions Consolidations
process. I gave straightforward definitions of direct, allocated and unallocated expenses and used
the example of a family shared cell phone plan to help the audience have a clear understanding
of the individual terms and the concept as a whole.
My presentation reveals many cultural norms within the company that I had to adapt to in
order to thrive in my role. These include how I accomplished understanding and using the
language in Corporate America, such as Corporate Overhead, consolidations, and stranded
expenses. Understanding the language of a culture is a huge part of becoming a member of it,
and it was one of the first steps I accomplished in becoming a part of the Corporate America
culture. In addition to this, one attribute that is essential to being successful as a leader in finance
is being able to explain complex concepts in an easy and straightforward way, using examples to

25

simplify the matter. The example I used of the family shared cell phone plan helped even the
Executive Director of Human Resources, who was at my presentation, understand the concept of
Corporate Overhead when it had never been fully explained to him.
This internship was another turning point in my undergraduate career, when I found my
love for finance and abandoned accounting as quickly as I found it. I decided to double major in
Finance and Accounting because of my continued interest in the finance world. My presentation
was highly regarded by my superior, and she continues to use this presentation for new
employees and the interns we hire in the group to give them an overview of what Global
Functions does.
My next and last artifact is my networking map that I put together at the end of my
internship. The map begins with me in the middle and connects to various people I met during
my time interning at Ally. In some ways, it resembles a kinship chart as created by
anthropologists studying a traditional culture; such charts always start with ego, the person
from whose perspective the kinship system is diagrammed. The solid lines connecting my name
to others represent face to face or email interaction with coworkers or leaders, and the dashed
lines represent connections I made through preparing reports. For example, I worked on a daily
basis with Erin Pilchick, a Global Functions manager, explaining variances for her reports, which
made her line a solid one. On the other hand, I only communicated with Brandon Kubitz through
delivering reports for month-end and the 5+31 forecast, so I was connected to him through a
dashed line. In addition to these relationships, I identified future networking opportunities
through the connections I already created. These opportunities are indicated on the map by a
circle and are linked to a coworker that I already connected with. For example, I knew that I

26

could meet Melissa Richeson, the Director of Deposits and Marketing, through Dan Ibert, her
direct report and a coworker that I conversed with on a daily basis.
Before my internship ended in August, my manager offered me a part-time job as a
Financial Analyst in Global Functions with the goal of hiring me full time once I graduated from
college, so I have had plenty of time to build on relationships that I made as an intern while also
establishing new contacts with people from all over Ally Financial and even from outside the
company. In order to understand the significance of my networking map, I have updated it to
include my most current work ties. It is easy to see how my map has expanded over the last year
and a half since my internship ended. This artifact is significant to the Corporate America culture
because it visually represents the vital connections I have made throughout my time at Ally. It is
a widely known and accepted truth in Corporate America that most people find their jobs through
networking connections, where they know a colleague who knows of an open position on their
team or at their firm. The more positive connections a person has in Corporate America, the more
likely he or she will be to get promotions and job offers in the roles that they are most interested
in.
As much as I have loved and learned from the experiences I have had in Corporate
America, I have to ask myself if this is the right place for me. Some of the cultural norms and
values of Corporate America that I have experienced are not ones that I necessarily want to call
my own, yet I see myself becoming more concerned with them every day. For example, I never
wanted to be a person who was primarily concerned with money, who valued outward
appearances and wealth status more than ethical issues and making progress for worthy causes.
However as in any culture, being a member of Corporate America meant taking part in its
practices and core values. Unfortunately, being around people who hold these values that I hoped

27

not to possess ten hours a day and five days a week made it difficult to resist becoming a part of
their cultural norm, no matter how much I focused on doing the opposite. I have seen myself
slowly start to forget about the issues I care about and become more concerned with getting that
new pair of Tory Burch wedges or Kate Spade cross body. The money I make at work is going
less and less toward charities I have always held close to my heart and more toward eating out at
nice restaurants with my boss and going to happy hour on Fridays with my coworkers.
My current dilemma mirrors the feminine phase perfectly. I have found this field that I
excel at and enjoy, but it is a male-dominated field that does not promise equal success for my
male peers and I. The women in my job are completely outnumbered by men. Women are sent to
womens conferences where we are supposed to discuss the struggles of working and taking
care of children and other domestic activities. This is perplexing to me because these women
have to then find care for their children and abandoned their supposed domestic duties while
forfeiting pay for their work hours. The whole process contradicts itself. In addition, I have
watched the effects of having male peers enter my all-female group. It seems that when men are
hired, they hire men who also hire men, reinforcing the glass ceiling effect. The vicious circle
continues. My team went from all female to at least 75% male in just under two months. Just as
in A Room of Ones Own, Woolf observes the bland, inexpensive meals she and her femaile
colleagues are served compared to the male college students lavish meals, I believe men are
given the upper hand in Corporate America, as well. It is difficult for women to survive in
Corporate America when there seems to be an unspoken bias against them.
In addition to this, I have positioned myself right where I was afraid I would end up when
I got my paw print tattoo: in an environment that values money and class over the morals and
values that I believe in. However, just as Virginia Woolf writes in A Room of Ones Own, I
28

must have my own mental space in order to thrive and think for myself. Along the way to where
I am, I have had many people in my ear telling me what I should do. My parents were insisting
upon the value of economic stability, my boss was preaching the life of luxury and all the while I
have found that all I really want to do is protest patriarchy and find my sweet shelter animals a
home. As much as I believed I was thinking for myself, I desperately needed that space where I
could escape the opinions of those around me and be alone with my thoughts and find my real
truth. Virginia Woolf claims, one must strain off what was personal and accidental in all these
impressions and so reach the pure fluid, the essential oil of truth. To this end, I have to find my
truth and lock myself in my own room where no influence, good or bad, can tell me it is the
wrong or right decision.
Conclusion
I have learned so much through the Senior Portfolio process, especially about myself. I
now know that I can take a huge feminist theory and not only apply it to my life, but use
literature to create an illustration behind it. This right brain exercise has defied all that I thought
was impossible for my conventional and mathematically leaning brain. I learned that I am
actually a pretty good writer, which I never thought could be true. My ability to describe things
in words is fairly slim. One saying that accurately depicts my straightforward and direct form of
communication is: If I want to tell you I got a cat, I will tell you I got a cat, not a black, fluffy,
sassy cat. Although my descriptive sense falls short of great, I do not think this has impacted my
ability to reflect on my experience with respect to an academic theory and literature. The most
important thing I have learned from this project is how much I miss community service. I do the
required community service for UHP, but unfortunately, it is never anything I can connect with. I
have made myself so busy with school and work that I never give myself time to do the thing

29

that I actually love and want to do. I want to be back at the Humane Society with the animals I
love and the people who are just like me. I want to grow as a person and a rescuer like I did
when I spent seven days a week at the shelter. Nothing grounds me and gives me more joy than
being there, and I cannot wait to see what decisions I make once I get back to my own room at
the Humane Society.
As a feminist, I decided to base the sum of my career at UNC Charlotte on Elaine
Showalters theory. Acknowledging the validity of her historical progression in the context of her
theory, it may seem that I have regressed. Although I do feel conflicted about this, I do not think
I have gone backward. Rather I have decided that I can, and I do, encompass all three phases at
once at this time in my life. Like the female Edna Pontellier of The Awakening, I am still
discovering the world around me as I travel, study and explore myself. I am graduating college
and, just as Edna was expected to take on the role of submissive wife and mother, I am also
aware of all the expectations set for me by my family, coworkers, and others. However, I am
deciding what is best for me, although I am still not aware of what that is exactly. Like a true
ecofeminist, I am still active in animal rights, even though my career does not involve it. I am
three and a half years vegetarian and transitioning vegan, I donate regularly to charities such as
the ASPCA and GreenPeace, and I persistently advocate through social media for rescue
organizations all around the world. Even though my schedule is consistently full with school and
work, I find ways to actively pursue involvement in the animal rights world. One of the main
arguments Virginia Woolf makes in her novel is that women need money of their own to be
independent. I believe that I have the money of my own. I work in Finance where I can provide
for myself; I can afford the literal room of my own. Now I just need the mental room of my own.
Just like Woolf in A Room of Ones Own, I want badly to create a room of my own in the

30

Corporate American culture. I have evolved from this open-minded but critically engaged point
of view, and now I want to implement it inside a more capitalist and patriarchal culture. I want to
defy the odds by solidifying an environment where women can rise to the top while using my
finances and free time to do what I love with homeless pets. This is my own path that I have selfcreated and maneuvered in my own way, and I intend to continuing doing this: navigating my
own life path.

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Works Cited
Byrd, Jennifer. Interview. UNC Charlotte, Charlotte, NC. 2015.
Chopin, Kate. The Awakening. Electronic Edition. Documenting the American South:
http://docsouth.unc.edu/southlit/chopinawake/chopin.html. University of North Carolina
at Chapel Hill, 1 Jan. 1998. Web. 1 Jan. 2015.
Ferraro, Gary P. Global Brains: Knowledge and Competencies for the 21st
Century. Charlotte,
N.C.: Intercultural Associates, 2002.
Finley, Kelly. Lecture. WGST 1101. UNC Charlotte, Charlotte, NC. 2011.
Griffin, Susan. Woman and Nature: The Roaring Inside Her. New York: Harper &
Row, 2000.
Levy, Janet. Interview. UNC Charlotte, Charlotte, NC. 2015.
Lorber, Judith. "Ecofeminism in Gender Inequality: Feminist Theories and Politics. 5th ed.
New York: Oxford UP, 2012. 134.
Ritchi, Mary-Wren. UNCC VOX. Flyer by author. September 2013.
Showalter, Elaine. A Literature of Their Own. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton UP, 1977.
Showalter, Elaine. Toward a Feminist Poetics, Womens Writing and Writing About Women.
London: Croom Helm, 1979.
Wilson, Kait. Sighting.Personal photograph by author. March 2012.
Wilson, Kait. Paw Prints.Personal photograph by author. October 2012.
Wilson, Kait. Global Functions Reporting Process.Presentation by author. August 2013.
Wilson, Kait. Networking Map.Presentation by author. October 2014.
Wilson, Kait. "My Inspiration." Just a Dog. Wix, 1 December 2011. Web. 3 Oct. 2014.
Wilson, Kait. "Final Reflection." Kaits Portfolio. Wix, 1 May 2012. Web. 3 Oct. 2014.
Wilson, Kait. I Believe in Bathing Puppies. This I Believe. 1 November, 2011.
Woolf, Virginia. A Room of One's Own. San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1989.

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