Hernandez, Charlotte V.

March 26, 2014

The Becoming of Sarah Raymundos The Symptom Called Marketisation

Text is a product of the authors deliberate intention. In fact, Bazerman (1995) stated
in his book The Informed Writer that the writers overall purpose determines the techniques
he/she uses. These techniques foreground implications that lead to the unraveling of the
authors bias in writing. In evaluating papers critically, Halliday & Hasan (1976) stressed the
importance of both grammar structure and context situation to which the text is embedded.
To achieve this, the external factors affecting linguistic choices (e.g. authors background,
nature of the audience, etc.) must be taken into consideration in determining the overall
purpose of the text.
Our fight for education, then, is a political fight that weaves a worldwide demand
for a system that will respond to human needs to replace the current one ruled by profit
accumulation, said Sarah Raymundo in an interview for the article The fight for education
as Dress Rehearsal written by Acua (2011). Trailing the premise of Raymundos ideals,
this paper intends to analyze the exposition in one of her academic essays, The Symptoms
called Marketisation, subsententially, sententially, and suprasententially.
Subsentential Level: The Rigorous Process of Word Selection
Diction is determined by the intended readers degree of knowledge (Bagley, 1996).
Since the essay analyzed is an academic text, the intended audience of the text are scholars
and experts in the field. Hence, the author of the text has a relatively high degree of freedom
in utilizing jargons and archaic words. The use of archaic words manifested in the use of the
following words but not limited to: oft-forgotten that traces its origin in 12th century, and
proviso that was first used in the 15th century (Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2015). However,
despite the overwhelming number of jargons

used (i.e. technocratic rationality,

neoliberalism, marketisation, etc.), it can be observed that the author opted to present each
jargon with corresponding definition and contextualization. It is important to note that the
perceived ambiguity in the definitions of these jargons can make or break the authors
standpoint. Hence, the author delimited each point to a single definition usually aligned to
her thesis statement.
For instance, in defining globalization, Raymundo explicitly debunked the notion of
Saad-Filho & Johnston (2005) that globalization is a benevolent process leading to greater
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competition, welfare improvements and the spread of democracy around the world, and
imposed a ruling idea that globalization is to be viewed as a solution to economic crisis
faced by the United States in the onset of 1990. The explicitness in delimiting the definition
of the jargon globalization can easily be observed as the prepositional phrase contrary to
was framed prior to the cited definition of Saad-Filho and Johnston. Also, the limitation was
traced in contextualizing its definition in the origin of its production in the year 1990.
Another evident technique employed by Raymundo was the practice of
nominalization. This can be observed in the use of words like operationalization,
atomization, misrecognition, globalization and the like. The use of these nouns instead
of their verb counterparts sets an abstract and academic tone that situates the text in the
academe (University of Wollongong, 2000). However, Raymundos style of expounding
nominalizations relied on the use of modifiers as it contained a total of three hundred and
twenty (320) adjectives. These modifiers worked in two-fold: 1. They strengthened the
opposition to the arguments presented by the University Board, and 2. They supported the
claims presented by the author. The following passages are directly lifted from the text to
prove this assumption:
Education as a practice of freedom demands a confrontation with the imperatives of
the existing system that is marked by the policies of neoliberal globalization. (p. 37)
Some of the nave errors in operationalization made by those who naively raise the
nave question of educations function for the society and/ or for the individual (p. 33)
..the practice of actual freedom would allow us to expose the monstrous power of the
capital (p.41)
It has been argued that in academic texts, the use of emotive language is avoided to
preserve the preciseness and objectivity of text (University of Adelaide, 2014). However, this
traditional rule was not followed by Raymundo as she opted to manipulate grammar to
achieve the purpose of the text, seemingly soliciting support from the readers. The use of
emotive language plays role in persuading the reader towards the writers point of view
(University of Wollongong, 2000). Drawing from this claim, it can be argued that Raymundo
purposively used emotive language through the repeated use of modifiers to: 1. convey
persuasion in transforming the view in education, and 2. provoke argumentation in presenting
the problems of traditional paradigm in education.
Sentential Level: The Framing of Purpose
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Defying the usual style in academic writing, 109 sentences (81%) out of 134
sentences used active voice instead of passive voice. In the online learning website of
Monash University (CALT Learning Support, 2015), active voice has been increasingly
recognized as an essential chunk of academic papers, especially in the discussion section, to
indicate the importance of the author giving his/her opinions. After all, active voice illustrates
action. The use of active voice has traditionally been avoided in academic texts as it promotes
political and accusatory tone (University of Adelaide, 2014). It can be noted that
Raymundo purposively used active voice to highlight an evidence-based argumentation.
Despite its political and accusatory nature, active voice has been employed by Raymundo
to engage the readers in evaluating the present state of education critically, and eventually
call for an action to transform the system of Philippine education.
Another distinct feature of academic texts is the ample use of references to establish
credibility. Generally, the presence of these citations showcases the amount of rigor
exhausted by the writer in conducting research. In the essay, the use of long direct quotations
can be noted specially with the presence of five (5) block quotations. Direct quotations are
used only when the sources claim is deemed to be powerful and relevant (University of
Houston-Clear Lake, 2015). Analyzing the lengthy citations found in the text sententially, it
can be observed that Raymundo has chosen powerful and controversial subjects that were
strategically placed at the onset of the sentence.
For instance, in citing the technocratic logic presented by Masao Miyoshi, Raymundo
opted to start the long direct quotation with Literary and theoretical discourse is
drastically losing its audience (p.36). In discussing the penetration of technocratic logic in
the field of education, Raymundo started the citation with a subject that captured the effect of
technocratic logic in the academe. Seeing that the intended readers of this text are scholars,
she opted to use a subject that is aligned to the interests of scholarsdiscourse. Analyzing
the sentence pattern of the kernel sentence of the cited text, it can be noted that the emphasis
is purposively placed on the subject of the sentence to capture the interest of the readers
because of its relevance and evidence-based argumentation. This deliberate intention has
been eminent in modifying direct quotations observed through the use of ellipsis ()
depicting that the cited text has been cut., and the use of brackets ([]) depicting the added or
altered words/letters in the cited quotation. In framing the cited sources, it is important to
remember that citations are used as evidences that either support or challenge the claim of the
author (See Appendix A for more examples). Hence, structuring the integration of these
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evidences to the text is one essential step in achieving the authors purpose in writing
(University of Wollongong, 2000).
Suprasentential Level: A Thesis-driven Organization
According to the systemic functional linguistics formulated by John Halliday (qtd. in
Larsen-Freeman, 2006), the level of formality in texts involves three variables: field, tenor,
mode. With the presence of jargons at a large extent, the essay The Symptoms called
Marketisation reflected the limit of its intended readersthe intellectual few. However, this
does not mean that only experts in this field can understand her essay. In spite of writing an
academic text, the author strived to eliminate the gap between the readers and the text as she
used the first person point of view sparingly (See Appendix B). Five (5) sentences used the
first person point of view, and were strategically located at the personal anecdote indicated in
the beginning of the text, while some were used as transitional devices to achieve smooth
flow of ideas. This is a reasonable style as Tang (2012) explained that the personal pronoun
I is increasingly gaining its acceptance in the academe because it strengthens the authors
disposition in the text.
At a suprasentential level, texts are perceived to have an organizational structure of
their own (Dadufalza, 1992). In the structuring the text The Symptoms called Marketisation,
Raymundo employed inductive reasoning to prove her claim. Starting with an anecdote that
has employed the powerful imagery of pulang dagat ng protesta, the definition of scope
and identification of the problem has been laid out in the implication of the anecdote, strongly
supported by the overt unraveling of problems in the traditional paradigm of education.
Bazerman (1995) argued that whatever the writer includes in his/her academic text is a strong
indicator of his/her purpose in writing. For instance, he argued that:
the use of personal anecdotes in academic writing suggests that the writer is seeking
the readers emotional response or sympathetic involvement in the material, just as
the heavy use of statistics in quantitative researches suggests that the writer's major
interest is in providing documentation and proof of a thesis (Bazerman, 1995).

To engage the readers even further, Raymundo clearly used emotive language as seen
in the ample use of adjectives to elicit the support of audience upon their own evaluation on
the effects of these problems. In fact, she labeled one of the adverse effects of these problems
as social amnesia. Contrasted to a clinical condition, the transition moved swiftly to the

seemingly prescribed cure to all these: the transformative paradigm. This has been followed
by the reiteration of challenges faced by the traditional view contextualized in the Philippine
Reforms, then eventually showing its connection to the global world. The organization of the
text contributed to proving the thesis asserted by the author. The author laid down current
issues faced by the country and the global world and its corresponding solutions, seemingly
allowing the readers to reflect on their own experiences and eventually act upon the solutions
presented in battling against the neoliberal education. This can be noticed in the authors use
of phrases conveying implicit advocacy such as questioning as a critical practice and
reassertion of our social dreams (p. 41), seemingly urging the readers to take a stand in
opposing the repressive ideals prevailing in the current nation state. The author herself did the
same thing as her evidences were supported by her own experiences. After all, human
experience is more credible than hard facts, as it appeals to the pathos of the readers.
As a whole, the author achieved exposition through the interplay of form, meaning,
and function. The stylistics employed by the author as seen in her choice of words, sentence
structure, and overall organization of the text unravel meanings that purport to attaining the
function of the textto inform the readers about the problems faced by the current view on
ducation system and its corresponding solution, and eventually provoke the readers to situate
themselves in the transformation to analytic education. This function, in turn, shapes the
extrapolation done by the author to substantiate her thesis that education must not be an
extension of market that creates passive and submissive learners, but an avenue of critical and
logical learners grounded on the art of questioning.

References
Acua, A. (2011, November-December). The fight for education as dance rehearsal. The
University of the Philippines Forum.
Bagley, B. (1996). Determining an author's intended audience. Idaho: BYU Reading Center.

Bazerman, C. (1995). Analyzing the Author's Purpose and Technique. In The informed
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writer: Using sources in the discipline (pp. 103-126). Fort Collins, CO: The WAC
Clearing House.
CALT Learning Support. (2015). Language and Learning Online. Retrieved from Monash
University: http://www.monash.edu.au/lls/llonline/writing/general/lit-reviews/5.xml
Dadufalza, C. (1992). Reading into writing 1: English for academic purposes. Manila:
Bookmark, Inc.
Halliday, M., & Hasan, R. (1976). Cohesion in English. London: Longman.
Larsen-Freeman, D. (2006). Teaching Grammar. In Teaching English as second or foreign
language. Singapore: Heinle & Heinle-Thomson Learning.
Merriam-Webster, Inc. (2015). Retrieved from Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/oft
Saad-Filho, A., & Johnston, D. (2005). Neoliberalism: A Critical Reader. London: Pluto
Press.
Tang, R. (2012). Academic writing in a second or foreign language: Issues and challenges
facing ESL/EFL academic writers in higher education context. Edinburgh: A & C
Black.
University of Adelaide. (2014). Objective Language. Retrieved from Writing Centre
Learning Guide: http://www.adelaide.edu.au/writingcentre/.
University of Houston-Clear Lake. (2015). Tips on introducing quotes. Retrieved from
UHCL Writing Center: www.uhcl.edu/writingcenter
University of Wollongong. (2000). Integrating evidence into your own writing. Retrieved
from University of Wollongong Website: http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/4b.html

University of Wollongong. (2000). Nominalisation. Retrieved from University of

Wollongong Website: http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/3b.html
University of Wollongong. (2000). Why use the passive voice in academic writing?.
Retrieved from University of Wollongong Website:
http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/3avi.html

APPENDICES
Appendix A: Framing of Citations
1. Selective cutting of direct quotations to highlight the problematic positivist philosophy
embedded in the current educational field (p.32)
[s]ince the early part of the twentieth century, the
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educational field has stuggled to establish itself with a firm scientific

foundation. This foundation, Giruox adds, [draw] heavily upon a positivist
rationality which, in turn, shaped the dominant theoretical orientation of
the various disciplines both within the natural and the social sciences.
Furthermore, the hegemony of positivist philosophy in the field of
educational theory and research has spawned the latters [entrenchment]
within an instrumentalist tradition that defined progress as technological
growth and learning as the mastery of skills and the solving of practical
problems (Giroux 1981)
2. Provocative framing of citation from the controversial defense of UP Administrators
regarding the tuition fee increase (p. 32)
Notwithstanding a good deal of debate at its inception, the
principles underlying STFAP, it seems fair to say, have now been
largely accepted by the Universitys various constituencies. The
hitherto prevalent notion that state-owned institutions are obliged
to set uniformly low (even zero) tuition fees has gradually given
way to acceptance of the principle that students themselves rather
than the general taxpayer should pay for the cost of higher
education, subject only to the equity-proviso that poor students
who qualify should receive financial relief and assistance. This
growing realisation has been prodded on by the stagnation of
state-support given the governments chronic budgetary difficulties1;
the spread notwithstanding of privately provided undergraduate
education (though at times of uneven quality), thus reducing the
social case for a public subsidy2; and finally the Universitys desire
to reinforce its intellectual freedom through financial self-reliance.
Appendix B: Use of first person POV
1. (p. 32)
Let me illustrate the preceding point by referring to the following
statement in a document entitled Ad-hoc committee to review tuition and
other fees: Final Report prepared by professors from the University of
the Philippines-Diliman, namely, Emmanuel S. de Dios (Chairman), Rene P.
Felix, and Helen S. Valderrama:

2. (p. 31)
I was marching with a huge crowd
of about two thousand protesters composed of students,
professors and university employees who engaged in a spirited
one and a half kilometer march from Malcolm Hall (College of
Law) to Quezon Hall (Central Adminsitration Building)

3. (p.31)

I was particularly struck and overwhelmed by the metaphor of pulang dagat ng

protesta not only because of its powerful imagery and edgy suggestion but even more so
since it concretizes Bourdieus oft-forgotten insight into the academic field. That this field is
the objective space of possible intellectual positions offered to academics in a given moment
and beyond the field of power is something that often escapes academic administrators
while crafting university policies; and on account of which makes them sound more like
financial managers whose stakes in the financial game can only follow the rules of the
market.

4. (p. 36)
Let me identify, at this juncture, at least two adverse consequences
of technocratic rationality in the academic field. Because of their atomization, the various
disciplines are now unable to relate themselves to the social realities that shaped them in the
first place. Scholarly production has approximated technocratic logic described so well by
Masao Miyoshi:..

5. (p. 37)
Having laid down the basics of the traditional paradigm in education, let me now
focus my discussion on the foundations of transformative education. It is important to clarify
that there are no hard and fast rules towards the achievement of transformative education
because the very concept of transformation signifies a process rather than a strict procedure.