17 Lessons Love Has Taught Us

28/02/15 6:47 pm

17 Lessons Love Has Taught Us

10 Secret Tools Happy Couples Use For A Strong Relationship
Love. It makes the world go round, right? Well, at least thats the how the
saying goes. But is it true? It should be, but so many people confuse love with
things like jealousy or possessiveness. True love isnt either of those things.
But these 17 things are. So here are the lessons that real love teaches us:

1. Love means letting go of expectations.

Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. We want them
to be more affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter. Or more ambitious.
All of these things are expectations. Expectations are just your requirements
for acceptability of loving someone. But true love has no expectations. It
simply loves as is.

2. Love doesnt play the victim role or blame others.

Love doesnt think others are out to get them. Love doesnt think their
loved ones are wrong. Love works together. It takes responsibility. It forgives
and allows other peoples actions to be their journey. Love doesnt take things
personally.

3. Love includes letting go.

Love doesnt equal possession. Just as the saying goes, If you love
something, set it free. If it comes back, its yours. If it doesnt, then it never
was. There is truth to that. Love allows people their freedom. It doesnt hold
tightly and crush their wings in attempt to keep them. True love doesnt want
to possess. It is willing to set you free if you want to be.

4. Love doesnt require you to continue a relationship.

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You may love someone very much. But you may not be compatible with
them. Or they may drive you crazy with their continued disregard for your
feelings. You can still love them, but that doesnt mean you have to be with
them. Love doesnt mean that you have to stay, and stay, and stay. You can
leave the relationship and love them anyway.

5. Love has no room for jealousy.

Like possession, jealousy doesnt equal love. We think that if were not
jealous of our loved ones that it means that we dont love them. True love has
confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is
happy and content coming back to you, and only you.

6. Love is the absence of fear.

You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have love. Then
appreciation. After that, its joy, happiness, contentment, and satisfaction.
On the opposite end of the continuum of love is fear. Other fear-based
emotions include, hatred, insecurity, jealousy, or greed.

7. Love is not needing and wanting.

One of the things we try to teach kids is that there is a clear difference
between a want and a need. Needing someone is a feeling based in fear.
You fear that you cant live without them, so you need them. And remember,
fear is the opposite of love. Wanting someone in your life gives them the
freedom to leave, but still shows them you love them.

8. Love is an action, not just a feeling.

Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion especially when it feels
good. So when were in love, we want to feel that way forever. But guess
what? That higher than Cloud 9 feeling goes away after a while. That
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doesnt mean you dont love the other person anymore, it just means that its
not new anymore. So thats where the action needs to kick in. Show the
person you love them. Dont just assume they know.

9. Love is unconditional.
The word unconditional means that there are no expectations or limitations
set. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans arent good
at that. But true love really does love without trying to change the other
person.

10. Love means putting other peoples needs equal to or

before your own.
While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not
serve us well in relationships. If you dont put other peoples needs at least
equal to your own, they will grow resentful. Real love truly, genuinely cares
about other peoples happiness and will go to great lengths to make people
feel valued.

11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there is.

Science has proven that emotions like love and fear have very different
vibrations. They can actually measure them. Love vibrates very fast, whereas
fear-based emotions (think jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.)
vibrate very slowly. When you love completely and unconditionally, there is
no fear involved. The vibrations of love make you feel good at all times.

12. Love is focusing on quality, not quantity.

Love focuses on the quality of your relationship, not its longevity. Im sure
youve heard the phrase, Its better to have loved and lost than to never have
loved at all? Just because your relationship lasts a long time doesnt mean
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that you have true love. Real love can be very brief. Therefore, quality and
quantity of love are not the same things.

13. Love requires attention.

Love doesnt ignore. It doesnt look the other way. It wants to be present and
be together. When people are in love, sometimes they think that they dont
have to do any more work. But real love actually enjoys giving attention to
another person. It feels good, and doesnt see giving attention to another
person as a chore.

14. Love understands and accepts differences.

Lets face it. Were all different. Even identical twins arent exactly the same.
They have different experiences and outlooks about the world. Real love
doesnt make other people wrong for being different. When people truly love
another person, they accept their differences.

15. Love varies in how it is expressed and accepted.

What makes us feel loved varies. In the book The Five Love Languages by
Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways people give and receive love:
(1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together,
and (5) Touch. Its important to discover other peoples love language so you
can understand each other and give love in a way that the other person
recognizes it.

16. Love makes you feel good, not bad.

Many people confuse being in a relationship with love. Just because youre in
a relationship doesnt mean there is true love present. If there is jealousy,
possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional, or physical), that
is not love. Refer back to #6. Those are fear-based emotions and actions.
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17. Love has empathy.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself into another persons shoes and see a
situation from his/her point of view. Love has deep empathy. When you
hurt, I hurt. People who truly love one another dont want to hurt them.
They want them to feel good. They care about their feelings and try
everything they can to make them feel valued and worthy.
Remember, love is happiness, appreciation, and feeling good. Anything other
than that is not love. If we all loved one another as ourselves, the world
would be a better place!
If youre a creator of any kind, you know all too well how tough it
can be to create things people just love. How to Create Things that
People Love
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