Peer Review: Reflective Essay draft

Authors name: Aqeel Alkhawaja

Reviewers name: Tommy Perez Orbich
Author: Provide the following information about your essay:
1. Write your thesis statement/main idea below (if it is still a work in progress, say so)
I started my essay with this quote, "Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn
as you go."(E. L. Doctorow). This quote contains the main idea of my reflection, which is
exploring and learning new things every time you start a new paper.

2. Write out one or two questions about your draft you would like your reviewer to answer.
Do you find a link between the quote I provided and the paragraphs I made ?
What can I add/edit to improve the essay ?

Reviewer: Read the writers entire draft once. As you reread the draft, respond to the following:
1. Introductory paragraph(s): Write down the sentence or sentences that contain this reflection
papers main idea (according to you). Does the author focus on an overarching theme/metaphor/quote
symbol/etc.? Suggest how the thesis statement/main idea could be strengthened, clarified, or otherwise
improved. Does the author state which evidence will be examined in the rest of the essay? Suggest
how the author could improve this part of the essay.

This is a great introduction and an awesome theme. I dont really see need for improvement as
far as an introduction but break up your introduction and the first module about resume writing
into two paragraphs because the first module is a supporting paragraph.

2. Supporting paragraphs: Check to make sure the content of the paper supports the thesis and that
additional evidence or content is not needed to support it. Indicate one paragraph in which the writers
evidence is strong, and state the reasons why you think so. Then find one paragraph that needs more
evidence. Drawing from your own experiences or understanding of the type of assignment the author is
discussing, suggest evidence that might work to better illustrate or develop the main idea or sub claims.
You have more than enough supporting paragraphs. You were clearly able to provide evidence
for each module we completed and how it related to your theme of learning as you go along. The
best evidence in my opinion was your explanation of the first module, resume writing. You were
honest about being unsure about what to do but then learning and adapting from your
classmates to complete your first resume. More evidence could be presented in the paragraph

about writing instructions. You described what you did but describe more of the journey, what
you struggled with and what you learned.
3. Organization: Number the paragraphs in the authors paper. Then, use the space below to describe
the purpose or main idea of each paragraph. Check to make sure the paper follows a consistent
organizational pattern and is effectively organized with clear paragraphs (focused around one subclaim) and smooth transitional/topic sentences. When you finish, suggest where the writer might
improve the organization of the paper through the use of transitional sentences, by focusing on one
topic in each paragraph, by restructuring the order of paragraphs, etc.
This paper is very well organized. I felt like I was going on the journey with you! The transition
from example to example was smooth. Add some transitional sentences at the beginning and end
of each parapragh instead of jumping right in.
4. List the 2 most important things the author should focus on during revision.
Spelling and grammar.
Work on your conclusion, sum everything up and restate your thesis from the intro.
5. Respond to the authors questions in number 2.
The quote you used could not be more perfect for your theme!
The biggest thing to improve your paper I noticed was spelling and grammar.
Author: When your essay is returned, read the comments by your peer reviewer and do the following:
1. Compare your description of the thesis statement with your readers. Consider your readers
comments and revise your thesis statement if necessary.

2. What additional evidence from the research youve read, from your experiences, from your
observations, etc. would strengthen the support for your thesis?

3. Make a revision plan. List, in order of importance, the 3 most important things that you need to do
as you revise your essay.