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Training Outline: Self Confidence

National College of Business Administration &

Economics

SELF CONFIDENCE
Course:

Training & Development

Submitted to:

Ms. Leeza Riaz

Training Schedule:

Submitted by:

Ejaz Anwer Gill

Kashif Nazir
Kamran Peter
Hassan Iftikhar
Javiria Khaild

Submission date:

Date:

May 6, 2015

Time:

1800-1930

Duration

90 min

Venue: Sydney Hall,

NCBA&E

April 6, 2015

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

SELFCONFIDENCEOXY
GEN TO SUCCESS &
PERFORMANCE

In this course participants will:

Understand what it means to be self-confident

Learn that it's okay to speak up and to stand up for what they believe
Gain techniques to confidently express opinions and needs
Learn to say 'no' without being rude or seeming disinterested
Recognize that you are important and that your opinions are valid and
worthy of consideration
Learn to identify and eliminate negative thinking and self-talk
Become a more effective communicator
Learn to set achievable goals in-line with personal values
Discover how to "feel the part", "look the part", "sound the part" and
"become the part"
Be able to recognize and deal with difficult behaviors in other people

Brief Summary

Self Confidence is a behavior that is crucial for success in life.

Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules;
confidence is a state of mind. Positive thinking, practice, training,
knowledge and talking to other people are all useful ways to help
improve or boost your confidence levels.
Self- confidence and its reinforcement can create a Valuable Content
and can facilitate the mental and creativity skills of employees. If you
don't know how to express your self-worth when communicating with
others you it will not have a good impression about your personality.
Self- confidence is one of the important and key causes in successful
performance of the workers functions (activities). The
employees/workers with good level of self- confidence have better
concentration (focus). They also have more abilities or power in
controlling the excitements. In addition, self- confidence is known in
creating the suitable approach (effort to be succeeded) for working
activities and competitions.

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 1

What does Self-Confidence
mean to you?

What is assertiveness?

What is self-confidence?

The four styles

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 2

Obstacles to our Goals?

Types of negative thinking

Case study

Personal application

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 3

Communication Skills

Listening and Hearing: They

aren't the same thing

Asking questions

Body language

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 4

The Importance of Goal Setting

Why goal setting is important

Setting SMART goals

Our challenge to you

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 5

Feeling the Part
Identifying your worth
Creating positive self-talk
Identifying and addressing
strengths and weaknesses
Activity (identify your 5
strengths and 5weakness
which boast and lower the
self confidence in you) (3mins.)

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 6

Looking the Part
The Importance of
appearance
The role of body language
First impressions count

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 8

Powerful Presentations
Activity (write down how you feel
and what you do before a
presentation) (3mins)
What to do when you're on
the spot
Using STAR to make your
case ( activity) (5-MINS)

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Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 7

Sounding the Part

It's how you say it

Sounding confident

Using "I" messages

Training Outline: Self Confidence

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 9

Coping Techniques

Building Rapport
Learn to say No, Say what you

mean
Take pride in yourself
Look in the mirror and smile
Be comfortable with fear
Accept compliments gracefully

Self Confidence Training Course Lesson 10

Dealing with Difficult Behavior
Dealing with difficult situations
Key tactics

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

Look at What You've Already Achieved

Think about Your Strengths (SWOT Analysis)
Think about whats Important to You, and Where you Want to Go
Start Managing Your Mind
And Then Commit Yourself to Success!

Step 2: Setting Out

Build the Knowledge you need to Succeed

Focus on the Basics
Set Small Goals, and Achieve Them
Keep Managing Your Mind

Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

Prepare for your journey.

Set out on your journey.
Accelerate towards success.

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Acknowledgement
We wish to express our sincere gratitude to our course instructor Ms.
LeezaRiaz for providing us an opportunity to practically implement our
knowledge that we learnt in this course in the form of this project. We would
like to thank her for all the guidance, help and encouragement in
successfully finishing this project and teaching us in this course
The project cannot be completed without the efforts and mutual co-operation
from our group members Ejaz Anwer Gill, Kamran Peter, Kashif Nazir, Hassan
Iftikhar and Javiria Khalid.
Last but not the least we would also like to thank and express our gratitude
to our friends and colleagues who have more or less contributed in this
project.
The project has indeed helped us to explore more knowledgeable avenues
related to our specialization in HRM which would be helpful in future.

Thanking You
Group 5
Ejaz Anwer Gill
Kashif Nazir

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Kamran Peter
Hassan Iftikhar
Javiria Khaild

Training Outline: Self Confidence

Table of Content:

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Work Division:
Sr. #

1.

2.

Group Member

EjazAnwer Gill
(Group Leader)

Hassan Iftikhar

3.

KashifNazir

4.

Javiria Khalid

Tasks

1) Introduction
2) Objective of Training
3) Arrangement of music/speakers
4) Preparing for Your Journey
5) Setting Out
6) Accelerating Towards Success
1) Communication Skills
2) The Importance of Goal Setting
3) Designing & Printing of Hand-bills
4) Video Clip
5) Communication Activity
1) Feeling the Part
2) Looking the Part
3) Sounding the Part
4) Arrangement of Refreshment
5) Preparation of
Evaluation/Feedback Form
1) Powerful Presentations
2) Coping Techniques
3) Dealing with Difficult Behaviors
4) Costumes for Skit
5) Skit writing
6) Decor & Charts

Training Outline: Self Confidence

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1) Stationary
2) Gifts for participants
3) What does self-confidence means
to you?
4) Obstacles to our Goals?
5) Preparations of training cards

5.

Kamran Peter

Training Budget (Estimated)

Sr. #

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Activity/Task/Items

Identity Cards
Hand Bills/Broachers
Costumes
Sounds/Speakers
Stationary
Refreshment
Miscellaneous
Total

Expense

25 x 30= 750
10 x 30= 300
200 x 4= 800
Nil
30 x 30= 900
60 x 30= 1500
= 750
= 5000

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Self

Confidence Training Course - Lesson 1

What does Self-Confidence mean to you?
What is self-confidence?
The four styles

What Does Self Confidence Mean to You?

Self-confidence plays an important role in our everyday lives. Being
confident allows us to set and reach our goals. It provides stability when we
are faced with a challenge; it gives us that push that helps us overcome
difficulties. Self-confidence is necessary in our personal and professional
lives, as without it one would not be successful in either. It gives us the
ability to stand up to face our challenges and to pick ourselves up when we
fall.
It can be associated with:
A secure feeling
A happy feeling
An energized feeling
A light-hearted feeling without stress or tension
A state in which one can trust and believe and be sure about
ones abilities and qualities.
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence is a belief in oneself, one's abilities, or one's judgment. It is
freedom from doubt. When you believe you can change things -- or make a
difference in a situation, you are much more likely to succeed.
As a self-confident person, you walk with a bounce in your step. You can
control your thoughts and emotions and influence others. You are more
prepared to tackle everyday challenges and recover from setbacks. This all
leads to a greater degree of optimism and life satisfaction.
The four styles
There are four styles of Self Confidence communication:
Passive
Aggressive
Passive-aggressive
Assertive.
1. The Passive Person
Passive behavior is the avoidance of the expression of opinions or feelings,
protecting ones rights, and identifying and meeting ones needs. Passive

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individuals exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body posture, and tend to
speak softly or apologetically.
Passive people express statements implying that:
Im unable to stand up for my rights.
I dont know what my rights are.
I get stepped on by everyone."
Im weak and unable to take care of myself.
People never consider my feelings.
2. The Aggressive Person
An aggressive individual communicates in a way that violates the rights of
others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally or physically abusive,
or both. Aggressive communication is born of low self-esteem, and display
a low tolerance.
They express statements implying that:
The other person is inferior, wrong, and not worth anything
The problem is the other persons fault
They are superior and right
3. The Passive-Aggressive Person
Passive-aggressive people usually feel powerless, stuck, and angry. They feel
incapable of dealing directly rather and express their anger in a clever way.
Frequently they speak softly to themselves instead of confronting another
person & often try to smile, even though they are angry.
4. The Assertive Person
An assertive individual communicates in a way that clearly states his or her
opinions and feelings, without violating the rights of others. Assertive
communication

is

born

of

high

self-esteem.

Assertive

people

value

themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs.
They are strong advocates for themselves -- while being very respectful of
the rights of others.
Assertive people feel connected to other people. They make statements of
needs and feelings clearly, they speak in calm and clear tones, are good
listeners, and maintain good eye contact. They create a respectful
environment for others, and do not allow others to abuse or manipulate
them.
The assertive person uses statements that imply:
I am confident about who I am.
I cannot control others, but I control myself.
I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.

Confidence Training Course - Lesson 2

Obstacles to our Goals
Types of thinking
Personal application
Obstacles to our Goals
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Self

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Obstacles are encountered every day of our lives, but what we do and how
we react during these events will determine the outcomes of such events.
Our reactions to these obstacles will determine if the situation becomes a
minor annoyance to a major event. Over reacting to a small annoyance can
magnify the issue and make larger than it actually is. These are the types of
reactions that should be kept in check, what is an appropriate response to
each obstacle.
Types of thinking
What image are you projecting in your life? If you dont like what you see,
then change it! By changing your inner image by what you believe about
yourself, you can potentially change your outer outcome. Self Confidence is
factor that we humans have, and no one can dominate our attitudes or take
our choices from us if we believe in our self, YES I CAN DO IT.!!!!
A person who has been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere,
where people value success and self-improvement will have a much easier
time thinking positively. Stop thinking what others are thinking because we
can never control others state of mind..!!!
The Thinking Factor plays an important
role in self- confidence of a person. This
figure explains People with low selfconfidence usually feel anxiety and they
cant perform well. It depends on your
thinking, like if you think

I know

I am going

to have anxiety about the work and I

know I will do bad and person starts to
make errors this is because of negative
thinking in his mind. But on the other
hand a People who beliefs in his self and
is self-confident then he can do anything

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Personal Application
We all have situations in our personal lives where the ability of selfconfidence and assertive behavior helps us achieve our goals. We should
practice the opportunity to develop assertive responses. Standing up for
yourself will translate into success throughout your personal and professional
lives. It will help enhance your self-confidence, and make the challenges
much more easily to overcome.

Communication Skill:
Communication is simply the act of transferring information from one place
to another.

7 Cs of communication:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Clear.
Concise.
Concrete.
Correct.
Coherent.
Complete.
Courteous

Listen carefully: People often focus on what they should say, but
effective communication is more about listening than it is about
talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the
information being communicated, but also understanding how the
speaker feels about what theyre communicating.
Body language: Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is
being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel youre being
dishonest. For example, you cant say yes while shaking your head
no.
Giving and accepting criticism: Effective spoken communication
requires being able to express your ideas and views clearly, confidently
and concisely in speech, tailoring your content and style to the
audience and promoting free-flowing communication
Have courage to say what you think: Be confident in knowing that you
can make worthwhile contributions to conversation. Take time each day
to be aware of your opinions and feelings so you can adequately

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convey them to others. Individuals who are hesitant to speak because

they do not feel their input would be worthwhile need not fear.
The Importance of Goal Setting:

Goals Give You Focus: it give you a vision of the future. Whether you
want to save your allowance to buy a new gadget, improve your
grades or go to a friends birthday party, goal-setting gives you a
positive focus that will encourage you to make better decisions. This
focus encourages a child to think ahead about activities or behaviors
that might get him closer or farther away from achieving his goal.
Goals Allow You to Measure Progress: By setting goals for yourself you
are able to measure your progress because you always have a fixed
endpoint or benchmark to compare with.
Goals Help You Overcome Procrastination: When you set a goal for
yourself you make yourself accountable to finish the task. This is
in complete contrast with when you do things based on a target and it
doesn't matter whether you complete them or not. Goals tend to stick
in your mind and if not completed they give you a "Shoot! I was
supposed to do_____ today!" reminder. These reminders in the back of
your head help you to overcome procrastination and laziness.
Goals Give You Motivation: Goal setting provides you the foundation for
your drive. By making a goal you give yourself a concrete endpoint to
aim for and get excited about. It gives you something to focus on and
put 100% of your effort into and this focus is what develops motivation
Gives Clarity on your end vision: Goals gives you clear end point
people who work on goals they set are more motivated to accomplish
the objective because they directly see or experience the benefits of
their achievements.
Setting SMART goals:
Specific: A specific goal has a much greater chance of being
accomplished than a general goal.
Measurable: keeping track of progress gives incentives to keep
going.
Attainable: Goals are realistic and attainable.
Realistic: when you identify the goal which are most important to
you, you begin to figure out ways you make them come true.
Timely: a time bound goal is intended to establish a sense of
urgency and prevent goals from being over taken by the day to
day crisis that invariably arise.

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Module Six: Feeling the Part

Being positive and feeling good about one's self is the key,
you must feel the part. Positivity is a leading factor in
one's self confidence, it will help you keep a feeling of worth.
Staying positive will provide you a great asset in regards to selftalk and recognizing and working with your strengths.
Identifying Your Worth
Worth is defined as sufficiently good, important, or interesting to
justify a specified action." People with a sense of self-worth exude
confidence in themselves.
Personality
Positive and negative personality traits.
Creating Positive Self-Talk
Positive self-talk allows you to recognize, validate, and apply your
full potential with respect to all that you are, and do.
Identifying and addressing strengths and weaknesses
Every individual is aware of their strengths and weaknesses. One
should use their strengths to overcome the gaps or weaknesses.
Activity: (identify your strengths and weakness which affects
your self- confidence. List at least two strategies to overcome
your weakness) (3-mins.)

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Module Seven: Looking the Part

A person who has a strong sense of personal worth makes a

confident, positive appearance. Looking the part is important as it
influences the people around us. It will provide a boost to
confidence and in turn a boost to your performance.
Appearance:
The Importance of Appearance In the dictionary, appearance is
defined as an external show, or outward aspect. Your
confidence depends significantly on your personal thoughts and
perceptions about the way you look. Appearance is as
important today as it ever was. The first thing noticed when
meeting someone new is their appearance. That is why it is
important as you only have one first impression.

The Role of Body Language:

Body language is a form of non-verbal communication involving
the use of stylized gestures, postures, and physiologic signs which
act as cues to other people. Humans unconsciously send and
receive non- verbal signals through body language all the time.
Basic Dos for Body Language
These are just some of the different body language examples
that you should follow.
Maintaining eye contact is a sign of respect and interest
towards the other person. If someone is talking and you
make sure you are keeping your eyes focused on them then

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this will make them feel that you are in fact interested in
what they have to say.
Another body language is your facial expression. If you are
always frowning, this would indicate that you have a
negative aura, and this will push others away. Whereas if you
are constantly seen smiling, you are going to attract other
sunny and happy people to you.
Posture is also very important. You need to sit properly,
avoid slouching, and if you can, keep an open posture at all
times, leaning towards the speaker whenever necessary, to
show that you are interested.

Donts for Body Language

Just as there are various body language movements and
expressions you need to have, there are also those you need
to do away with. These kinds of body language are negative,
and not at all helpful in projecting a pleasant or winning
personality.
Fidgeting. This would only indicate nervousness and will
make the other person doubt your credibility or your ability.
Standing too close. When you are too close to someone,
physically, it will make the other person uncomfortable and
will also trigger them to think you are invading their personal
space.
Staring. Though it may not always be the case, staring is
considered rude. While you maintain eye contact towards
the other person, do not overdo it to the point of staring.
Crossing your arms. This would indicate resistance on your
part, so if someone is talking to you and you are crossing
your arms, you will make the other person think that you
really are not agreeing to what they have to say and you are
making it known to them.
Excessive or unrelated head, facial, hand and body
movement: Too much movement can divert attention from
the verbal message. Your facial expressions should match
the type of statement you are making.

Training Outline: Self Confidence

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Module Eight: Sounding the Part

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Sounding Confident
Since 38% of the messages received by a listener are
governed by the tone and quality of your voice, its pitch,
volume and control all make a difference in how confident
you sound when you communicate. Below are some specific
tips.
Pitch - pitch means how high or low your voice is.
Volume - the loudness of your voice must be governed by
your diaphragm
Quality - the color, warmth, and meaning given to your voice
contribute to quality

Using I messages:
1. Declarative I Messages
Declarative I messages should be used when you want to
express a need, desire, opinion, or thought. An example of this
type of statement would be I need to receive recognition and
encouragement for the effort and hard work that I put into the
group in order to feel needed and secure. Using this type of I
message will help you communicate your feelings without causing
group tension or starting a conflict.
2. Responsive I Messages
Responsive I messages can be used when someone asks you to
do something for them or with them. An example of this
statement would be I would really love to help you on the
project, but unfortunately I am already working on another
important assignment and wont have the time to put in the effort
that youre requesting. You must first decide very clearly how
you want to respond.

3. Preventive I Messages

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

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Preventive I messages can be used when you have observed

that a problem has developed in the past and you want to avoid
the same problem or something worse from happening in the
future. An example of a preventive I message would be I
realize that we all had trouble meeting set deadlines on our work
the last time we worked on a project. Im worried it may happen
again, so I think we all need to formulate a task schedule and
designate a team motivator in order to stay on top of everything
this time around.
4. Confrontive I Messages
When a situation is continually causing strong negative emotions
and tension within the group (i.e. someone is constantly negative
or verbally abusive with criticism), you need to use a
confrontive I message. An example of a confrontive I message
would be I understand that you have thoughts and opinions,
but the verbal abuse needs to stop immediately or consequences
are going to be put into use.
Activity:
Time: 3 mins.
Task: Identify your strengths and weakness which affects
your self-confidence. List at least two strategies to
overcome your weakness.

Activity:
Face game (body language, non-verbal communications)
For groups of four to ten people. Split larger groups into teams
with leaders who can facilitate the exercise.
Equipment required: paper and pens/pencils.
Time: 3 mins

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Introduction: Facial expressions are an important part of

communications. There are many different emotions and
corresponding facial expressions. Some are easier to interpret
than others. This exercise helps illustrate different expressions
and how some are more obvious and easy to 'read' than others.
Task: Each team member must think of one emotion, which they
should then write separately on a slip of paper. Fold the slips of
paper and put it into a cup or glass in the centre of the table, to
enable 'blind' selection.
Each person must then in turn take one of the folded slips and
show the emotion on their face to the team, who must guess the
emotion.

ACTIVITY
Identify your strengths and weakness which affects your SELF-

CONFIDENCE.

List at least two strategies to overcome your weakness.

Strengths

Weakness

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

Strategy to overcome weakness (at least two):

________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Powerful Presentations:
Success comes in cans, not cant's
Presentations made by self-confident people can achieve a desired outcome.
What to Do When Youre on the Spot
Regardless of the situation, things are guaranteed to happen, and not always
according to plan. Irrespective of the presentation venue, four actions can
help you convert an interruption into an opportunity.
Using STAR to Make Your Case
STAR is an acronym that stands for Situation or Task, Thoughts and
Feelings, Actions, Results. The STAR Model helps you deal with recurring
problem situations such as repeated mental blocks or anxieties stemming
from interpersonal situations. Using the four points of a star as the visual
representation, the STAR model prompts questions that allow you to analyze
the aspects of a problem situation -- and turn it around.

S = Situation

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Training Outline: Self Confidence

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First, state what the situation is. Try to make this no longer than one
sentence. If you are having trouble, ask yourself, Where? Who? and,
When?
Example: On Tuesday, I was in a directors meeting at the main plant.
T = Task

Next, briefly state what your task was. Again, this should be no longer than
one sentence. Use the question, What? to frame your sentence, and add
the Why? if appropriate.
Example: I was asked to present last years sales figures to the group.
A = Action

Now, state what you did to resolve the problem in one sentence. Use the
question, How? to frame this part of the statement.
Example: I pulled out my laptop, fired up PowerPoint, and presented my
slide show.
R = Result

Last, state what the result was. Include figures to quantify the result if
possible.
Example: Everyone was wowed by my prep work, and by our great figures!
Summary

Lets look at a complete example using STAR. Lets say youre out with
friends on the weekend. Someone asks you what the highlight of your week
at work was. As it happens, you had a great week, and there is a lot to talk
about. You use STAR to focus your answer so you dont bore your friends, and
so that you send a clear message.
You respond: On Tuesday, I was in a directors meeting at the main plant. I
was asked to present last years sales figures to the group. I pulled out my
laptop, fired up PowerPoint, and presented my slide show. Everyone was
wowed by my prep work, and by our great figures!
This format can be compressed for quick conversations, or expanded for
lengthy presentations. We encourage you to try framing statements with
STAR, and see how much more confident you feel when communicating.

Coping Techniques
Coping refers to the thoughts and actions we use to deal with a threatening
situation. An self-confident person uses a variety of coping techniques to
deal with the challenges of interpersonal communication.

Building Rapport

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Rapport is a state of harmonious understanding with another individual or

group that enables greater and easier communication. In other words
rapport is getting on well with another person, or group of people, by having
things in common, this makes the communication process easier and usually
more effective.
Mirroring matching certain behaviors of a person with whom you are interacting -- is the process used
to establish rapport.

Learn to say No, Say what you mean and mean what you say:
Often we say yes because of the fear of authority or the fear of hurting
someones feelings or worries that we will let someone down. But every time
you say a yes that you dont mean, youll end up doing a half-hearted job.
And then you are unhappy that you said what you didnt want to say, and
you are unhappy that you did such a lousy job of what you said you would
do.
Break out of that habit. Instead, just say what you mean and mean what you
say. You dont have to be rude about it, just be firm and decisive. Developing
the ability to speak your mind in a kind but firm manner, and to really deliver
on your promises, will go a long way in building lasting self-Confidence
Take pride in yourself:
Not only should you feel proud of your talents or your skills, but you should
also think about the things that make your personality great. It can be your
sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your
ability to cope under stress. You may not think that there's anything about
your personality worth admiring, but if you dig deep, you'll realize that you
have plenty of admirable qualities. Focus on them by writing them down.
Look in the mirror and smile:
Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that
the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register or
intensify certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day,
you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. This
will also help you feel happier about your appearance, and to accept the way
you look.
Other people will likely respond to you well when you smile at them, so in
addition to making you feel happier, you may get a boost in confidence due
to the feedback you get from other people as well.
Be comfortable with fear:

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You may think that people who are self-confident are never fearful. This
simply is not true; its just that self-confident people do not allow the fear
they feel to stop them from acting.
When you do feel fear, acknowledge the feeling, and then ask yourself
whether you want that fear to stand in the way of your goal. As you become
more confident, you will begin to feel less paralyzed by fear.
Accept compliments gracefully:
Many people with low self-esteem have difficulty taking compliments; they
assume that the person complimenting them is either mistaken or lying. If
you find yourself responding to a compliment by rolling your eyes, saying,
"Yeah, right," or shrugging it off, you should reframe your response to
compliments.
Take it to heart and respond positively. (Saying thank you and smiling
works well). Let the person giving the compliment know that you really
appreciate it, and work to reach the point where you are able to truly accept
the compliment at heart.
You can add the compliment to your list of positive attributes about yourself
and use it to bolster your self-confidence.

Dealing with Difficult Behaviors

Each of us can probably think of at least one difficult personality with whom
we have had to deal, either at work- or inn our personal lives. With a
strategy, it is possible to learn what the person does to annoy you, and what
you might be doing to aggravate the situation.
Dealing with difficult situation
A difficult person can be your boss, your co-worker, or anyone else. He or she
behaves in a way that is disruptive to business or life outside of work. In a work
setting, often the functioning of a team is disturbed, leading to disruption of the
work flow, flared tempers, and gossip. The bottom line is that work suffers. Difficult
usually situations cost organizations money.
To deal with difficult people, we innately try to apply coping filters, such as:

Removing virtually all positive attributes about the person. (He was my
worst hiring mistake)

Defaming him or her (We build consensus with others against the person)

Explaining the person in negative terms.

Anger also plays a big part; feeling angry, we instinctively use anger to try to
manage the situation.
To break the cycle of negativity, take time to answer the following questions:

Training Outline: Self Confidence

24

1. What observable behaviors or statements did the person perform or say?

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2. What is the most positive interpretation an outside witness would make? The
most negative?
3. What will you gain by interpreting the difficult persons actions or words in as
positive a light as possible?
4. What would you do or say when you respond to the difficult person if you
viewed his or her actions in a positive light? What is stopping you from
responding this way?

Key tactics
These strategies will help you gather facts and to deal with the person or the
situation.

ACTIVE LISTENING
The first tactic, and possibly the most important, is to listen empathetically, that is,
listening while trying to be sensitive to the various components and levels of the
message. In addition, try to listen for the following information:

THE WHY. Why is the person communicating with me?

THE LENGTH. What can the size of the message tell me about
the importance of the message to the person?

THE WORDS. Does the person use formal, aloof language?

Impatience?

The VOLUME AND PACE. What emotional pressures can be

sensed?