Sickness: Its Trials and Blessings, by Priscilla Morris

SICKNESS:
ITSTRIALS
ANDBLESSINGS
ByPriscillaMaurice
TheChristianClassiconChronicIllness
inModernEnglish
Editedandupdatedby
AlisonBaileyCastellina
TempodiRiforma
Publications
2009
Sickness: its Trials and Blessings
Therearevarietiesofgifts,butthesameSpirit.
Forthebodydoesnotconsistofonememberbutofmany.
Butasitis,Godarrangedthemembersinthebody,eachone
ofthem,ashechose.
Ifonemembersuffers,allsuffertogether;ifonememberis
honoured,allrejoicetogether.
(1Corinthians12:4,24,26)
Thisvolumeisaffectionatelydedicatedtoallwhoare
calledbysicknesstowalkintheblessedstepsofHismost
holylife,whoHimselfboreoursickness.
PriscillaMaurice,1850.
ISBN:9781409279327
Thetextusedforthismodernisededitionisthe5theditionbyRivingtons,
WaterlooPlace,Londonwhichwaspublishedin1855.
Unlessotherwiseindicated,allScripturequotationsarefromTheHoly
Bible,EnglishStandardVersion,publishedbyHarperCollinsPublishers
2001byCrosswayBibles,adivisionofGoodNewsPublishers.Usedby
permission.Allrightsreserved.
ThisworkislicensedundertheCreativeCommonsAttributionNoDeriv
ativeWorks2.0UK:England&WalesLicense.Toviewacopyofthisli
cense,visithttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/bynd/2.0/uk/orsenda
lettertoCreativeCommons,171SecondStreet,Suite300,SanFrancisco,
California,94105,USA.
TheeditorAlisonBaileyCastellinacanbecontactedbyemailatthead
dressbaileyannis@googlemail.com.Seealsoherwebsiteathttp://fa
tigue.wikispaces.com
Table of Contents
Preface.............................................................................7
BACKGROUND........................................................................7
EDITORIALTECHNIQUE...........................................................12
AGIFTTOTHESICK.............................................................14
BIOGRAPHICALNOTEONPRISCILLAMAURICE................................15
PREFACEBYAMINISTEROFRELIGION(1850).............................27
PartINewWaysofLookingatIllness.........................29
INTRODUCTION.....................................................................29
1.1FIRSTIMPRESSIONSOFALONGILLNESSORCHRONICCONDITION. .34
1.2ILLNESS:AHIDDENSTATE................................................36
1.3THETWOFOLDCHARACTEROFILLNESS.................................39
1.4THESEEMINGLENGTHOFANILLNESS...................................40
1.5LESSONSWHICHVARIOUSILLNESSESAREMEANTTOTEACH........42
1.6SICKNESSASAVOCATION..................................................44
1.7THEPROBABILITYOFRECOVERY..........................................48
PartIIASPECTSOFILLNESS.......................................51
2.1PAIN...........................................................................51
2.2WEAKNESS...................................................................54
TheVariationofWeaknessinDifferentPeople..............55
TheProblemofSensitivitytoLight...............................56
TheProblemofSensitivitytoExternalNoises................57
TheHabitsofIllness.....................................................57
WeaknessofMind........................................................58
MentalandSpiritualWarfare......................................58
3
ResistingtheDevilinIllness..........................................59
EvilDesiresinIllness....................................................60
Gettingconfusedinwhatyousay.................................61
TheUnknownandForeignNatureofIllness..................61
2.3LOSSOFTHEPOWERSOFTHEMIND.....................................65
GriefoverMentalLossesinIllness.................................67
LossofMemory............................................................67
InabilitytoTalk...........................................................70
2.4THENEARNESSOFLIFE....................................................72
2.5LONGINGS....................................................................73
2.6CIRCUMSTANCES.............................................................77
2.7WHATEFFORTTOMAKEANDHOWTOACHIEVESELFCONTROL......81
2.8IRRITABLENERVES..........................................................86
2.9TAKINGDRUGS..............................................................90
2.10LONGINGFORFOOD......................................................92
Fasting........................................................................94
TheBlessingofSocialandCommunalMeals.................95
EatingAlone................................................................95
2.11NIGHTS.....................................................................96
2.12DAYS........................................................................99
ChoiceofReadingMatter...........................................101
2.13DISAPPOINTMENTSANDDISCOURAGEMENTS.........................105
2.14WORRIESABOUTLACKOFMONEYINILLNESS.......................107
2.15DIFFICULTYINPRAYER.................................................110
2.16ABSENCEOFWORK.....................................................122
2.17ANNIVERSARIES..........................................................126
4
2.18FAMILYANDFRIENDS...................................................131
2.19LETTERSANDCOMMUNICATIONS......................................139
2.20VISITSOFTHECLERGYANDCHRISTIANMINISTERS................141
2.21MEDICALADVICEANDMEDICALVISITS.............................146
2.22NURSESANDCARERS...................................................152
2.23BEINGABURDEN........................................................157
2.24THETEMPTATIONTOTHINKTHATNOONECANSYMPATHIZE.....159
2.25IRRITABILITY..............................................................161
2.26IMPATIENCE...............................................................164
2.27CONSIDERINGSYMPTOMS..............................................165
PARTIIIDUTIESANDRESPONSIBILITIESOFILLNESS
.....................................................................................167
3.1CONTENTMENT.............................................................167
SintowardsGod.......................................................170
Sintowardsyourneighbour......................................170
Sinagainstyourself..................................................171
3.2SYMPATHY..................................................................174
3.2PATIENCE...................................................................179
3.4SUBMISSION................................................................185
3.5HOPE........................................................................192
5.6CHEERFULNESS.............................................................196
5.7THANKSGIVING.............................................................202
3.8TOREMEMBERTHOSEINNEEDANDTOHELPOTHERS................208
PartIVTHEBLESSINGSOFILLNESS.........................211
PartVMISCELLANEOUS............................................219
5.1READINGTHESCRIPTURES...............................................219
5
5.2SUNDAY,THELORD'SDAY...............................................220
5.3THELORDSSUPPER......................................................228
5.4PRAYERFORHEALING....................................................233
PartVICONVALESCENCE..........................................237
6.1ITSPLEASURESANDITSTRIALS..........................................237
6.2BEINGCALLEDBACKTOLIFEHOWTOACCEPTLIFEAGAIN.....241
PartVIIDEATH..........................................................247
7.1THEFEAROFDEATHTHEFEAROFITTAKENAWAY.................247
7.2APUBLICDEATHBED,ANDTHEDESIRETOCHOOSEITSCIRCUMSTANCES
.....................................................................................251
7.3THERIGHTWAYOFVIEWINGDEATH................................253
APPENDIX...................................................................257
SUGGESTIONSTOTHOSEMINISTERINGTOTHESICKANDDYING...........257
THEORDERFORTHEVISITATIONOFTHESICK........263
APrayerforasickChild............................................270
APrayerforasickperson,whenthereappearethsmall
hopeofrecovery........................................................270
AcommendatoryPrayerforasickpersonatthepointof
departure..................................................................271
APrayerforpersonstroubledinmindorinconscience 272
TheCommunionoftheSick........................................272
Preface
Background
Theauthorofthisbestselling book, which was first pub
lishedin1850, remained unidentifiedtoher readers. Her
nameneverappearedonthecoversofanyofherbooks.
It has been my desire, ever since I first read this book,
twentyyearsago,todiscovermoreabouttheauthorandto
restorehernametoitsdeservedplaceonthefrontcover.
Our edition has embedded the full Bible texts within the
bodyofthetextandhasadded,forthefirsttime,ashort
biographyofitswriter,PriscillaMaurice.
WhowasPriscillaMaurice?Howcouldsomeoneillhandle
the Bible so comprehensively? What was her purpose in
writing?Howdidshedevelopherwritingskills?Theseare
someofthequestionsthatItriedtoanswer.
After research, I was not surprised to find that Priscilla
MauricewasthesisterofleadingVictorianandCambridge
don,FrederickDenisonMaurice(F.D.Maurice),cofounder
withCharlesKingsley,ofChristianSocialism,author,editor
oftheforerunneroftheNewStatesmanmagazine,Anglican
minister and Cambridge professor. He was hailed by the
BritishPrimeMinister,Gladstoneasa'spiritualsplendour'.
Likeherbrother,PriscillaMauricewasgiftedwithskillsasa
writer,deepcompassionandaburningdesiretoserveman
kind.Butsheaddedtotheseabilitiesonewhich,Ibelieve,is
thereasonwhythisbookstillisrelevanttoday.Shehada
deeplovefortheBiblewhichshehadreadinawaythat
onlyafewscholarstodaycouldrival.ItistheBible'sdepth
that does makes this book just a relevant now, as it was
whenitwasfirstpublished.
7
Learnedandliterary,PriscillaMauricewroteatmanylevels.
Shecouldpursuea'goodwork'onbehalfofothers,bringto
lightdeepdoctrineandalsogiveamostfascinatinginsight
intowhatVictorianlifewaslikeforanunmarriedwoman
with well married sisters, enduring a long and misunder
stoodillness.Oneofthejoysofthisbookisthatitisakind
oftimecapsule,ofinteresttothosewhoenjoytheflavourof
theVictorianage.
Ibelievethatfortheauthor,theexperienceofhavinghad
herownfaithandlifestrippedofwhatshecallsits'gloss',
preservedinher,particularly,averypreciousstrandofholy
fire,akindoftestamentaboutthepoweroftheBibleinthe
'religious' Victorian age. She undoubtedly saw herself as
oneofthosewhoinhealthandsicknesswantedtoworkfor
thelastinggoodoftheChurch,aswellasforthissickmem
ber1. Yetevenshemightbesurprisedthatpeoplearestill
findingherbookrelevant,over150yearsafteritwaspub
lished.
Onanotherlevel,PriscillaMauricefeltcalledtowritewith
powerfuleloquenceonbehalfofthesick,todescribeandto
reflecttheirexperienceinpreciselanguage.Thosewhohave
neverbeenillmightthinkthatsheissimplyanagonyaunt
forthesickandthatthisbookisaprototypefortheselfhelp
genre.Buttheyhaveneverwalkedinthis'othercountry'of
chronicsickness.Thosewhoknowwelltheexperiencecan
testifythatwhatshesaysisabsolutelytruetotheexperi
ence,aswellasgroundedintheBible.Itiswrittenfroma
realplace,becausethe'reality'ofthesickisreality,too.As
shesaysinherbookYoumustalwaysthinkofsicknessasa
hiddenstate,fullyknownonlytoitswayfarers.
PriscillaMaurice'sthemeisthatchronicillnessisatoolnot
tobedespised,buttobeacceptedassomethingfromGod,
torefineus.Wemustlabourtogetthegoodnessandgrowth
out of it, as well as to try to recover from it. She is not
1
FromtheChapterDays(page80)
againstprayingearnestlyforhealingevenaftermanyyears
of illness. She is against concentrating so much on being
healedthatwemissthedeepsanctificationthatGodistry
ingtodevelopinus.
Sheteachesustotakeallthings,includingillness,asanes
sentialpartofProvidenceasiffromGod,andtocooperate
with the bad things and not to fight against them. For
Maurice,badthingsareakindofcarefullymeasuredvaccin
ation, which, when properly administered and reacted to
withfaith,helpsthebodyandmindtodevelopmaturityand
strength,whichcanbedevelopedinnootherway.
Priscilla Maurice also wished to better train those profes
sionals who ministered to the sick. This book, carefully
studied,offersusefulapproaches,ifonehastheinsightand
humilitytolistencarefullytowhatsomeonewhohasbeen
ill,actuallyexperiences. Itmayinterestpastorsandchap
lainswhowanttounderstandbetterthemoreprofoundside
ofchronicillnessanddisability.
This message seems particularly urgent today since tradi
tionalChristiandoctrinehasbeenmarginalisedbyhuman
istic teachings. This book bring us back to the 'basics' of
faith,strippedofsecondaryworldlyissuesandtoourduty
toexercisecriticalselfanalysis.
PriscillaMauricewrotefromabiblicalpointofview,draw
ingonhundredsofScripturaltexts,onChristianpoetryand
alsoontheoriginal'ServicefortheVisitationoftheSick'.As
thisisnolongerfamiliartoday,itisincludedinitsoriginal
languageattheendofthisedition.
OnalmostallVictoriandoctrinaldebate,theauthorissilent.
She is not distracted from the Bible's teaching. One can
placeherwithinthetraditionalChurchofEnglandwithout
attemptingtopindownherprecisechurchmanship.Mycon
victionisthatshewouldhavedescribedherselfasacommit
tedbelieverintheThirtyNineArticlesandthebasicdoc
trinesoftheReformation.
9
When I first read Priscilla's book, I was myself struggling

with a disbelieved, shattering, hidden and misunderstood
chronicillness.ApartfromthePsalms,themysteriousBook
of Job, and nearly a thousand Bible texts on suffering, I
foundverylittleinmodernchurchteachingortheologyto
describethechronicmalaiseandbodilyweaknessIwassuf
fering.Iwasawarethatinthisageofinstantpainkillersand
anaesthetics,Christiansmustworkhardtocreateaspacefor
'incurables'.
MyexperienceoftheChristianlifedidnotfitinwiththe
version of faith taught in many churches, which tends,
either through fear of suffering to ignore, and therefore
marginalisechronicallysickmembers,ortorecommend'mi
raculous'healing,whichinsomecases,couldbepretended,
orevenashortliveddelusion.Godusesadiversityofways
tohealpeople,mostcommonlymedicalintervention.Itisir
responsible tosuggesttothesick,asJob'scomfortersdid,
thattheymaybeill because theydo notbelieveenoughin
theBible'shealingpromises.SomechurchesmisapplyBible
textsonhealing.Thisbookfirmlycontradictsalltheseap
proachestochronicsickness,by makingit clear that God
canallowustobeillforagreaterreason.
Inmyexperience,thechronicallyilltendtoaccepttheinev
itablecontradictionsofactuallifebecausetheysensethatto
become whole, one needs real food, not 'fast food'. The
CrossdemonstratesthatGodusessufferingasthepathto
glory.Thereisshortphasesummingitallup:'Nopain,no
gain'.Throughcomingtotermswithfrailty,welaydownall
ourweaponsagainstGodandwearehealedofourdeepest
sickness,ourhiddenrebellionagainstHim.Then,Hemay
graciously then deliver the spiritual growth and countless
blessingsfromillnessanddisability,whicharesetoutinthis
bookandintheBible.
Iwassorelievedwhen,asanewlyconfirmedChristian,I
foundthisdusty,batteredVictorianbookandrealizedthat
10
my extreme experience of marginalization was shared by

someone who had lived more than a century before me.
Apartfromanythingelse,Ifoundinitauniquedescription
oftheworldofchronicillness,fromtheinside.Thisgifted
womanhadwalkedthroughasimilarwildernessandhad
beenintellectuallybetterpreparedthanme,tomapitout.
Ialsoknewthattheauthor'squaintlanguagewasabarrier
keepingthisbestsellingbookfromawider,modernreader
ship. I determined that if I ever recovered from my own
chronicillness,Iwouldpublishthebookunderhername.I
was,indeed,graciouslyhealedaftertenyears,byadiversity
ofmeans.SomeyearsofoccasionalreadingintheBritish
Libraryfollowed,whichenabledmetopulltogetherPriscilla
Maurice's short biography. It took me two more years on
andoff,torenderherwordsincontemporaryEnglish.
Withthesupport ofmyhusband, PaoloCastellina, anor
dainedministerandtheologian,whohasaddedsomedoc
trinalfootnotes,Ihavefinallybeenbeenabletopublishthis
modern version. Now, my chronically ill friends can fully
meditate on Priscilla Maurice's work, liberated from their
Victoriancultureandphraseology.Itissuchagreatcomfort
inillnesstobeofferedsystematicideasthatinone'sgeneral
mental and physical weakness, one cannot pull together.
Millions ofpeoplehaveenduredchronicillness whohave
nothadtheintellectualcapacity,stamina,strengthandwis
domtowriteaboutit.Thisbookdoesmuchoftheworkfor
them.
Afriendonceobservedtomethatthatoursharedchronic
illness could contribute to a 'new spirituality'. What she
really meant was that our contemporaries would return
throughsufferingtothe'realfood'ofthetruthsoftradition
alChristianity.TraditionalChristianityhasbeenbeensup
pressedbymodernversionsofChristianity,which,likehu
manisticteaching,proveinadequateintimesofrealtesting,
likechronicillness.TraditionalChristiantruth,firmlybased
11
onacompleteunderstandingoftheentireBible,needstobe
restoredtothecoreofWesternmainstreamtheology,forthe
sakeofthesick,marginalized,disabledandsuffering,even
ifnooneelseseemstodesireit.
We hope that seekers after the truth will recognise that
PriscillaMaurice'sbookisaspiritualclassic,araredescrip
tion of that "wholly different state" of illness. How few
peopletodayanalysethemselves,astheauthordid,tolocate
wrongthinkingandtouniversalisetheirexperienceinthe
lightofScripture.Ingreatwearinessofbody,soulandmind
andwithouttheuseofacomputer,thisisherachievement.
Itremainsimpressive.HermasteryofBibletextswouldbea
feat for someone in perfect health, even today. Thus, we
think thatthisbook deserves tobeanenduringChristian
classic.Wehopeitwillremaininprintfromnowon,forthe
sakeofthosewithchronicillnessesanddisabilities.
In my view, Priscilla Maurice was a great woman and a
great Christian. If we have been able to preserve and to
shareherworkwithawideraudience,inthespiritofher
originalmission,wewillbeverysatisfied.
AlisonBaileyCastellinaM.A
London,June2009
EditorialTechnique
It has been my editorial policy to remove all linguistic
obstaclesbymodernisingthetext,withoutradicallyaltering
theoveralltone,styleandmeaning.
Asaneditor,mymainaimhasbeentoconveyauthor'sin
sightsinmoremodernEnglishwithoutentirelylosingthe
flavourofherVictorianphrasing,whichconveyshercharac
ter, epoch and personality. Wherever possible, we have
madenochangesatallbutwhennecessarywehave:
12
a) broken up long sentences and paragraphs, to support

readerswithchronicillness,intheirreading;
b) made slight alterations to the authors phraseology,
withoutchangingitsmeaningandemotionalpower.Forex
ample "by degrees" is not always but often rendered by
"gradually","shall"isoftenchangedto"will",commasarere
moved before "and" and there are obsolete words and
phraseslike"shrinkfrom"and"repine"thathavetobere
placed.Victorianspellings(whichwerelikemodernAmeric
anones)e.g.endingsorhavebeenreplacedwithour;
c) sometimes rendered the word sickness by illness,
triedby testedbut haveleft thewords sickness and
trialsinthetitle;
d)
modified outmoded medical treatments. For ex
ample, we have altered the chapter entitled Opiates to
Drugsbuthaveinsertedanoteabouttheuseofopiates;
e)modifiedoldfashionedwaysoflifeandcustoms,suchas
theauthorsassumptionthatthereaderwillhavetheirown
servant.Thiscanbedistractingwhenreadingthetext;
f)updatedreferencestonoisefromhorsesandcarriagesin
thestreettothenoiseofmoderntraffic;
g)addedsomemoderndiseaseslikeAIDStoherlistsofcon
ditionsandinsertedcommunicationsforletterse.g.mean
ingphoneoremail;
h)modernisedthebiblicalreferences.
Wherewehavediscoveredthecourseofaquotationorhave
acomment inrelationtothetext,wehave insertedfoot
notesandcrossreferences.
AllPriscillaMaurice'soriginalfootnotesarenowembedded
inthetextasBiblequotations.
13
AGifttotheSick
AsJob says"When Hehas testedmeIshallcome forthas
gold".Wehopethatthosewhoreadthisbookwillcometo
loveandtocherishit.Wehopetopublishafreestudyguide
(onhttp://fatigue.wikispaces.com)tohelppeopletomakeit
theirown.Somemaywishtogiveitthosewhoarechronic
allyorterminallyill.Itcouldbeusedforsermonsourcema
terialorofferinsightstothosewhoministertothesickand
dying,suchaschaplainsandpastors.
OtherbooksbyPriscillaMaurice:
HelpandComfortfortheSickPoor(published1853)
PrayersfortheSickandDying(published1853)
SacredPoemsforMourners(published1846)
Dedications
Wearededicatingthisupdatedversionofthebooktothe
memoryofPriscillaMaurice,EmmaMaurice; Deanneand
to the memory of Olwyn Moore, who admired Priscilla
Maurice'swriting,duringherownlastillness.
AlisonBaileyCastellinaM.A
PaoloCastellinaB.D
London,June2009
14
BiographicalNoteonPriscillaMaurice
PriscillaMauricewasbornintooneofthemostgiftedfamil
ies of Victorian Britain. The Maurice family was earnest,
brilliantandinfluential.TheymixedwithpeoplelikeGlad
stone,Tennyson,ThomasCarlyle,CharlesKingsleyandEd
wardStrachey.Mauricemenandwomennotablyhadaser
iousnessofmindwhichwehardlyunderstandtoday.Forex
ample,theMauricewomenwrotetheologicalletterstoone
another while living under the same roof. No doubt, this
honedtheirwritingskills.
PriscillaMaurice'sownwritingstylehasauthority,lyricism,
sensitivityandcompassion.Sheisnotjustaproductofthe
superficiallypiousVictorianage,butsheaddedtothat,her
ownparticularlydeepunderstandingofhumanpsychology.
In addition, to her written skills, Priscilla Maurice was
highlygiftedatcomfortingothers.Herprimarydesireinlife
wastogooverseasasamissionary,butsheinsteadshebe
cameakindofmissionarytothesick,inEngland.
PriscillaHurreyMaurice(18111854)wasborninNorman
ton, Suffolk, one of the youngest children of Michael
Maurice,aUnitarianMinister,founderofTheUnitarianSo
cietyandofPriscillaHurrey,daughterofaGreatYarmouth
timbermerchant.Michaelmethiswifethroughteachingher
Classics.
Priscilla had elder sisters, Elizabeth Mary and Anne who
werenearlyfifteenyearsolderthanaclusterofyoungersis
ters and their famous brother, John Frederick Denison2
(18051872).Hewasknowntotwentiethcenturyadmirers,
suchasArchbishopofCanterburyMichaelRamsayas'F.D.
Maurice'.AmongtheyoungerMauricesisters,Priscillahad
aneldersisterEmma(born1807)andyoungertwinsisters
JaneandLucilla(born1814).Heryoungestsisterswerethe
DetailsonJohnDenisonMauricefromTheDictionaryofNationalBio
graphy
2
15
futurewifeoftheDeanofWells,HarrietTheodosiaandEs
ther, future wife of Julius Hare, a don at Trinity College
Cambridge.
In1812,thelargeMauricefamilymovedtoCliftonandthen
in 1813, they moved to Frenchay near Bristol, where the
UnitarianChapel,builtin1685stillstands.Undertheinflu
ence of their Hurrey cousins who stayed with them until
theirdeathsinthewinterof181415,hereldersistersread
theBibleforthemselvesandwereconvincedthatitdidnot
teach theirfather'sUnitarianism which was 'one God' but
theTrinityofFather,SonandHolySpirit.
Being strong individuals,likemost oftheMaurice family,
theeldersisters,agednearly20,refusedtocontinuetoat
tendtheUnitarianChapel.Afamily'crisis'followedastheir
motheralsorefusedtoattend.Thecontentoftheirmother's
lettertellingherhusbandthatshecouldnolongerbeaUnit
arianstillexists.InsteadofUnitarianism,theindividualistic
Mauricewomeneventuallytookupwithnosingledenomin
ation. Elizabeth (born 1795) became Anglican and Anne
(born1977)became aBaptistwithastrongCalvinistfla
vour.Mary(born1796)becameaMethodist.
PossiblyundertheinfluenceofhereldestsisterElizabeth,
PriscillaMaurice,whowassixteenyearsherjunior,became,
in essence, a devout Anglican, with a Calvinist streak.
FrenchbornJeanCalvin(15091564)wasaprominentad
vocateofthefive'solas'oftheReformation(bygracealone,
bytheauthorityofScripturealone,byfaithalone,through
Christalone,forthegloryofGod).HetaughtthattheBible
aloneandnotchurchtraditionandleadership,isthefinal
authorityforallmattersoffaithandthatsalvationitselfis
attainedpurelythroughfreegracewithoutanycontribution
fromthegoodworksofthebeliever.Calvinisalsowidely
knownforhisteachingonabsolutepredestinationandelec
tion,oftenregardedasdeterminism,thoughCalvinhimself,
16
andhisfollowers,stronglyrejectedthis,andarguedforper
sonalresponsibility.
Calvintaughtthatthesaved,the'elect'(awordthatPriscilla
onceuses)arethoseforwhomChristdiedontheCross3.
Thus,CalvinismwastoonarrowformoreliberalVictorian
universalismwhichheldthatallmenaresaved4.Predestin
ationinCalvinismwasastickingpointformanyinafaith
thatwasotherwiseregardedashavinggreatpurityandclar
ity.
Calvinism has produced two great English writers, John
BunyanandCharlesHaddonSpurgeon.Calvinism'scharac
teristicsystematicapproachisalsoreflectedintheinspired
waythatPriscillaMauricecataloguesaspectsofwhatisoth
erwisethealmostindefinableexperienceofchronicsickness.
Calvinismalsoencouragesbelieverstodoeverythingtothe
gloryofGod.Thiscouldbethereasonwhytheauthorre
mainedanonymousinherpublishedwork.JeanCalvinhim
selfdidnotallowhisnametoappearonhisowntombstone.
Theauthor,too,woulddoeverythingforthegloryofGod,
andnotforpersonalfame.
YoungPriscillawastaught,togetherwithF.D.Maurice5and
hersister Emma,by aUnitariangoverness. F.D.Maurice
wentontoattendTrinityCollegeCambridgeandtookafirst
classhonoursdegreeinlaw,thoughlaterbecameProfessor
ofEnglishLiteratureatLondonUniversity.Hesharedadeep
love of English literature with Priscilla, who particularly
loved the English Christian poets, Henry Vaughan and
Thisisthedoctrineoflimitedatonement,oneofthefivepointsofRe
formedtheology.Theyare:totaldepravity,unconditionalelection,lim
itedatonement,irresistiblegraceandperseveranceofthesaints.Refer:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvinism
3
F.D.Mauricewasmistyonthisdoctrine.Hewasnotauniversalistbuthequal
ifiedabeliefinelectionbyassertingthatforsomeunbelieverstherewillbesome
kindofsalvation.Hewasnotacceptedasorthodoxbyevangelicals.
4
TheLifeofFrederickDenisonMaurice(ChieflyinhisownLetters).Editedbyhis
son,SirFrederickMaurice(published1884).
17
GeorgeHerbertand,judgingbyunattributedquotationsin
thisbook,thepoemsofJohnKeblein'TheChristianYear'.
F.D.Mauriceandhissistershadstrongliteraryleanings.His
firstbookwasanovel'EustaceConway'.Priscilla'sfirstpub
lication was extracts of great English poetry about death
('Sacred Poems for Mourners'). Clearly, they were both
highly responsive to the English language. F.D Maurice
founded magazines at University and contributed to the
AthenaeumandWestminsterReviewmagazines.
Young Priscilla, like many young gifted Victorian women,
hadtoendureharsheducationalandsocialrestraints.She
alsohadtobearastringofshatteringbereavements,which
musthavecasther,atanearlyage,uponfaithandonthe
hopeofseeinglovedonesagain.First,thereweretheun
timelydeathsofbothherinspiringHurreycousinswhohad
been used in the Christian conversions within the family.
Then, the eldest sister, Elizabeth became an invalid and
brought up the twins, Jane and Anne, in her sick room.
Then, in June 1831, in Southampton, where the Maurice
familymovedin1827,Priscilla'sbelovedeldersisterEmma
fellmortallyill,attheageoftwentyfour,whenPriscillawas
justtwenty.Thissadeventinsomewaysshapedthecourse
oftheentireMauricefamilyhistory.ThemannerofEmma's
deathmadeadeepimpression,notonlyonPriscillabutalso
on her brother who, until Emma's illness had been inter
estedinphilosophyandliterature. Afterthis,he accepted
theThirtyNineArticlesoftheAnglicanChurch,andPriscilla
feltcalledtobecomeamissionary.F.D.Mauricesoontook
AnglicanHolyOrders,studyingalongsideGladstoneatEx
eterCollege,Oxford.
Athome,in1831,inSouthamptonforhissummerbreak,F.
D. Maurice stayed close to dying Emma during her last
weeks.Unlikeherothersisters,whoweremoreforcefuland
individualistic, Emma seems to have been one of those
sweet, gentle souls, possibly like Beth in Little Women.
18
Theextenttowhichherdeathaffectedthembothisevident
inthefactthatinJuly1851,F.D.MauricejoinedPriscilla
onthetwentiethanniversaryofEmma'sdeathtoremember
her.Brotherandsisteralsohadtoendurethedeathsoftheir
youngertwins,JaneandLucilla.Outoftheoriginalexten
dedfamilyoftenchildren,includingtheirHurreyfirstcous
ins,theylostfivetoanearlydeath,throughillness.
Priscilla'scalltobecomeanoverseasmissionarynevercame
tofruition.ShelatersaidthatshefeltthatGodputobstacles
inherway.Fromaboutthetimeofhersister'sdeathin1831
until about 1836, she fulfilled the role of her brother's
housekeeper.Itisclearthatherhealthwasreasonablyro
bust.Duringthisperiod,twoofhersistersmarried.Harriet
MauricemarriedintotheDeanofWellsandEstherMaurice
marriedtheCambridgedon,JuliusHare,whowasalsoan
ordainedminister.Maryworkedasagoverness.
Portraitsofherbrother,F.D.Mauriceshowarefined,kind
andsensitiveface.Revd.CharlesKingsleythoughtMaurice
wasthemostbeautifulhumansoulhehadevermet.Oth
ersthoughthimsaintlike.PriscillaMauricemayhavehad
asimilarface.However,wecannottell,asnoportraitsof
herhavesofaremerged.Alfred,LordTennysonthoughtF.
D.MauricewasoneofthegreatestmindsoftheVictorian
ageandwouldnothearawordagainsthim.Amostbal
anced view comes from Benjamin Jowett6 who, possibly
moreperceptively,saidthat,
"Mauricewasmistyandconfused.Buthewasagreatmanand
adisinterestednatureandhealwaysstoodbyanyonewhoap
pearedtobeoppressed".
Hisgiftedsister,Priscilla,alsohadagreatmind.Shewas
alsoblessedwithagiftofextraordinaryclarityandpsycho
logicalinsight.Eveninillness,shecouldthinkclearlyboth
TheLifeandLettersofBenjaminJowett:EAbbottandLCampbell(pub
lished1897).
6
19
about human psychology and Scripture, which is a great

feat.
Withsomanygiftedsisters,F.D.Mauricewasclearlyanad
mirerofthefemaleintellect.Hewasclosetothemoversof
thesuffragettemovementandtointellectualChristianwo
menlikeDorotheaBeale,thefounderofStHilda'sCollege,
Oxford. HefoundedanestablishmentinHarleyStreetfor
thehighereducationofwomen,whichbecameQueen'sCol
lege,LondonUniversity.Hewasakeychampionofthewo
men'suniversitymovement.Nodoubt,hejustlysensedthat
itwascompletelyunacceptablethatwomen,suchashissis
tersweredeprivedofdegreesandcareers,whichtheirmale
counterpartsfreelyenjoyed.
From18351846,F.D.MauricewasthechaplainatGuy's
Hospital, London. His motherand Priscilla ran his house
holdbeforehemarried,andafterhemarriedtheycontinued
tolivewithhim.ThecensusofMarch1841showsthatF.D.
MauricewaslivingwithinGuy'sHospitalwithhiswifeAnn
(Barton)andtheirson.Priscilla,Janeandtheirmotherwere
living with him. There can be little doubt that Priscilla
wouldeitherhavemet,orheardalotaboutherbrother's
friends,Carlyle,Kingsley,GladstoneandTennyson.
Priscilla, deprived of a higher education and profession,
seemstohavebeendependentonherbrother.Bythelate
1840s,shewasthelastoftheCalvinistAnglicansinthefam
ily.Beforeshewasill,shecouldgetouttochurchandmix
easilywithsimilarminds.Buttheremusthavebeenthecon
stantworryaboutherfinancesandthis,aswellassomuch
bereavementinherlife,whichcandamageimmunity,could
haveunderminedhergeneralhealth.Forme,itisnotsur
prisingthatsometimeinthe1840s,Priscillafellchronically
illwithwhatseemstohavebeenregardedonlyanervous
condition,butwhichwasprobablyanorganicandphysical
conditionaboutwhichlittlewasunderstood.Itseemstome
20
that part of her condition involved severe digestive prob

lems.Withoutdoubt,herillnesswasextremelydebilitating.
ItseemstomethatPriscillaMauricemaywellhavemin
isteredunofficiallyatGuy'svisitingsickpatients.Thiswould
havealleviatedsomeoftheworkloadof herbrother who
wasbusypreparingtotakeupthepostofProfessorofHis
toryandEnglishLiteratureatKingsCollege,London,aswell
aswritinghismanybooksandarticles.Certainly,sheseems
to have had a very wide experience of illness and death
beds,drawnfromthesickroomsofElizabethandEmma,
butalsofromhertimeatGuy'sHospital,London.
Tragically,in1845,F.D.Maurice'sfirstwife,AnnBarton
died, leaving two young sons. It was in that year that
PriscillaMauricepublishedherfirstbook'SacredPoemsfor
Mourners',amovingandinspirationalcollectionofpoems
on death by Herbert, Vaughan, Milton and lesser known
contemporary poets. This reflects her habitual reading of
Christianpoetrywhichisapparentinthisbookinhershort
unattributedquotationsinverse.Thepublicationofherfirst
bookin1845mayhavebeeninresponsetoanotherdeathin
theMauricefamily,aswellinresponsetohersensethatshe
shouldtrytoearnherlivingthroughwriting.Surroundedby
death,shewasstartingtothinkdeeplyaboutthemeaningof
sufferingandtogleaninsightsfromtheliterarytreasuryof
Christianpoetry,itselfinspiredbyScripture.
ThedeathofAnnMauricecouldhaveprofoundlyshakenF.
D.Maurice'sfaith.Buthewassecureinthatatleast,andhe
married, in 1849, Georgiana HareNaylor, sisterinlaw of
JuliusHareofHerstmonceuxCastle.Atthispoint,itispos
siblethatPriscillamovedtoHastings.In1853,F.D.Maurice
whorefusedtojoinanychurch'party'anddidnotbelieve
strictlyineternalpunishmentwaseffectivelydismissedfrom
hispostatKing'sCollege,London,forpublishingabookre
gardedasunorthodox. LivingbynowinRussellSquare,he
foundedtheWorkingMen'sColleges.Later,in1860,inspite
21
ofobjectionsfromtwentytwoevangelicalclergymen,F.D.
Maurice was appointed PriestinCharge at The Oxford
Chapel or St Peter's Church, Vere Street, now part of All
Souls Church, Langham Place. Tennyson and Gladstone,
needlesstosay,supportedhisappointmentand,atleast,he
gainedalivingthere.
AvisittoPriscilla'ssickroominHastingsin1854isrecorded
byhernephew,thetravelwriterAugustusHare,inChapter
VIofhisbiographyTheStoryofmyLife7inwhichisnoted
thatfamilymembersknelt,whiletakingCommunionbyher
bed.
PriscillaMauriceleftLondonforthesaltairofHastings,to
live at White Rock Place, 10, Caroline Place, St Mary in
Castle,Hastings.Sheseemstohavelivedinthreeroomsina
housewhich tookgentlewomenlodgers.Theareawas,at
thattime,fullofelegant,terraced,lodginghousesforwell
todowomenwithaneedfortherevivingseaside.Priscilla
hadasmalllegacyorannuityandregularlyhadgueststo
stay. Augustus Hare tells us that her bedroom had wide
viewsoftheChannel,sinceCarolinePlace,nowdemolished,
wasdirectlyontheseafront.Afteryearsofbeingconfinedin
viewlessroomsinLondon, Priscilla enjoyed theseaviews
fromherupstairswindows.
The census (1851) records theauthor as the head of the
household,livingalonewithoneservant,ElizaPerkinsasan
'annuitant'(livingonanannuity).Italsorecords thatshe
hadavisitor,herfriendCarolinefromPutney.Wecanima
ginethatinHastings,shehadaregularstreamofvisitors,
includingherbrother.Thereisahintinoneofhisletters
thatshewasable,atonepoint,togoonalocalseacruise.
AsacommunicantoftheChurchofEngland,Priscillawas
acquaintedwiththevicarofStLeonardsonSea,nearHast
ings,RevdFCMassingberd.Itseemsthatsheaskedhimto
writeashortintroductiontoherwork'Sickness:ItsTrials
7
Seehttp://augustushare.tripod.com
22
andBlessings'.Thebookwasanimmediatesuccessreprin
tedseventimesoverthenextthirtyyears.
Priscilla'sbookisakindofexplorationoftheOrderofthe
VisitationoftheSick,whichwaspartoftheBookofCom
monPrayer.Inthesameway,herbook'SacredPoemsfor
Mourners'explorestheBurialService.Whetherconsciously
ornot,herwritingsupplementsF.D.Maurice'sownwriting
ontheBookofCommonPrayer.
TheMauricesisters'differingdoctrinesmayhaveputpres
sureontheirbrothertoseekabastionagainstthevarious
strandsofProtestantChristiandoctrineinhisownfamily.F.
D.MauricewrotethisabouttheBookofCommonPrayer:
"TheBookofCommonPrayerismyprotectionandtheprotec
tion of the Church against Anglicanism and Evangelicalism
and Liberalism and Romanism and Rationalism and, until
thesedifferentdevilsceasetotormentme,I willwithGod's
help,usethisshieldagainstthem"(LifeofF.D.Maurice,Let
ters).
TheMauricefamily'ssocialcircleshadbroughtPriscillainto
directcontactwithleadingclergymen.Judgingfromcom
mentsinthisbook,itcouldhavehersenseofdisappoint
mentathowAnglicanclergyapproachedherownlongill
nessthatmotivatedhertowritethisbook.Clearly,fromthe
evidenceofa lettertoher, F. D.Mauricedidnot feel he
couldministertoher,inspiteofhavingbeenChaplainat
Guy'sHospital,aroleforwhich,hesaid,hewasentirelyin
adequate.IfthemajorityofVictorianclergyfeltinadequate
inrelationtothechronicallysick,itisnotsurprisingthat
"Sickness Its Trials and Blessings" was reprinted so many
times,from1850onwards.
In 1853, Priscilla Maurice published another two books,
'HelpandComfortfortheSickPoor' whichisashillingver
sionof'Sickness:itsTrialsandBlessings' withsomeadded
material.By1853,herstyleismoreconfident.Sheismore
atpeaceandlessmentallyfrail.Sheknewshewouldleave
23
hermark.Sheknewbythistime,thatherspecialistministry
tothesickwaswidelyappreciated.In1853,shealsopub
lished'PrayersfortheSickandDying'.Itdoesnotseemthat
in1850whenshewrote'Sickness:its TrialsandBlessings'
thatshethoughtshewasdying,butby1853,shemayhave
suspectedit.ShediedthefollowingyearinJune1854,at
theageof43,inHastings.
After being appointed Professor of Moral Theology and
PhilosophyatCambridge,F.D.Mauricediedin1872.He
wasburiedintheMauricefamilyvault,inacornerofHighg
ateCemeteryalthoughmanyhadwantedhimtoburyhimin
WestminsterAbbey.
ThecirclesinwhichPriscillaMauricemovedweredomin
atedbywelleducated,livelyandspirituallymindedwomen
andenergetic,scholarlyChristianreformers,oftendecades
aheadoftheirtime.F.D.Maurice'seffortsboresecularfruit,
inthe20thcentury'schampioningofwomen'shighereduca
tion and in the concept of Christian Socialism both of
whichhaveprofoundlyshapedthemodernworld.Hismes
sage is worth considering today, for Maurice was against
both'unsocialChristianity'and'unchristianSocialism'.But
he,unlikePriscillaMaurice,triedtositonthefenceoverthe
authority of the Bible. For Priscilla Maurice, Scripture re
mained the only authority. It is Priscilla Maurice's strong
biblicalfaiththatenabledhertotacklewithpowerandun
derstanding, extreme human experiences. Her mental
achievement, while seriously ill, in applying hundreds of
biblicaltextstoillness,isonereasonwhythebookisstill
relevant.
Her mainthemeisthateveryaspectofsufferingisinthe
handsofanalllovingGod,whouseseveryaspectofevery
situationtodevelopanddisciplinethosewhomHelovesto
makethemmorelikeHisSon.Sheappliesthistoeverycir
cumstance,oftenwithgreatcreativity.
24
Attimes,inspiteofone'sadmirationforher,onewonders
howmuchPriscillaMauricewasanexactingspirit.Shewas,
evidentlyfullofwarmthandcompassionforthosesuffering,
butthereareafewindicationsthatshemayalsohavebeen
alittlerelentlessinherpursuitsandhadtomasterimpa
tience,wheninterrupted.Shemighthavebeen,unintention
ally,alittleintimidating.
Nordidshepretendtovirtuesthathavenotbeendeveloped
inthefieryfurnace.Thereisasenseinherwritingofsin
takenseriously,reminiscentofJohnBunyan.Priscilla'sother
themeistoencourageotherstoseetheirownillnessasa
visitation from God, even a kind of special privilege for
Christian'soldiers'.
UnlikeF.D.Maurice,Priscilla'sfaithwastraditionaland,in
thatsense,herideashavetranscendedthepassingoftime.
Infact,herbrother'sloftybut'misty'topicsseemcomparat
ivelyirrelevanttoday,evenifhisinfluencecontinuesinsec
ular liberalism. F. D. Maurice's glittering worldly achieve
mentsmakeonewonderwhatPriscillaMauricesawasthe
meaningofherownlimitedlife.Forme,itisclearthatin
spiteoflivingunderhisshadow,PriscillaMauricestrongly
believed that through her writing, she had a serious and
mysterioussecretcalling,whichwastoministercomfortto
peoplewhomshewouldneverknowinherearthlylife.
BothF.D.MauriceandPriscillaMauriceweregreatVictori
ans. Both were brilliant, high minded, passionate, caring
andliterarypeople.Theybothattemptedtolightenthepath
ofthosesufferingandtobringrealhopeandcomfort.Both
leftbehindthemenduringworks.Butforme,itwasPriscilla
Maurice, the vulnerable but strong minded woman, who
lovedtheBiblewhowasthegreaterofthetwo.
Sadly,F.D.Mauricewaspreventedfromwritingapreface
tohissister'sbook,whichwaspublishedanonymouslybyhis
ownpublisherRivingtons.ItisinterestingtonotethatF.D.
Maurice'sdescendantswerealsowriters,aswellasdistin
25
guishedgeneralsandCambridgeacademics.Literatureand
academic achievements continues to run strongly in the
Mauriceline.
Writing is one thing, but service to mankind is another.
Amazingly,Priscilla Maurice, whohadalmost nostrength
and only very limited means, achieved ongoing work for
those in need. Our research demonstrates that Priscilla
providedinherwillforaconvalescentcarehomeforsick
women,inHastings. Shemayhaveusedmoney from the
saleofthisbookwhichcontinuedtobeabestselleruntilthe
endofthe19th century. Between1855and1902,nurses
and medical professionals cared for almost two thousand
womeninher'HomeforInvalidedGentlewomen'('Cather
ineHouse')StLeonardsonSea,whichwaspurposebuiltin
1862.Itwasdesignedasa'refined'comfortablehomefor
the temporary care of invalided ladies with very limited
means. By1902,itcouldhouse22sickwomenineleven
bedrooms8 and needed to appeal for donations in 'The
Times'.
In another religious tradition, Priscilla Maurice might be
considered a saint. But Protestants firmly reject saints,
knowingthatallachievementsrestupondivine'grace'.Itis
ourpleasure,therefore,inthismodernisedversiontoadd
PriscillaMaurice'sauthorshiptothetitleofherbookandto
tellherinspiringstory.Itisourhopethatherwholehearted
blessingwouldhaveresteduponourendeavourstointro
ducetoawideraudiencethisbook,whichwaswrittenfor
thegloryofGod.
FromadescriptionofCatherineHouseinTheTimes,2January1902
26
PrefacebyaMinisterofReligion(1850)
Theauthorofthisbookhasherselfbeentestedbylongyears
ofsicknessandhasaskedafriendtocertifyhisbelief,asa
clergyman,thatthisbookisnotinconsistentwiththeteach
ingoftheChurchofEngland,withScripture,thefountainof
trueconsolationandwithshowing how toapplythem. It
wasacarefulstudyofTheServicefortheVisitationofthe
Sickthatfirsttaughtherthemeaningandtheblessingsof
sickness.Herdesirehasbeenthatitmaybeinstrumentalin
pointingouttoothersthesamesourcesofconsolation.
Itisnotintendedthateverypartofthisbookshouldapply
toeverycasebutitishopedthatsomethingmaybegained
bymanysufferers,inavarietyofconditions,fromtheexper
iences of someone who has passed through the stages of
sickness.Comfort maybederived fromthediscoverythat
otherssufferershavefeltthesame.
ItismostoftenthroughsufferingthattheLord'speopleare
madelikeHim.Theyareneversotrulyhappy,aswhen
they are learning in that which one of our martyred Re
formerscalledChrist'sOwnSweetSchool.9
Thenameofaclergymancangivenoauthorityandscarcely
anyrecommendationtothisbookbutitisaddedatthere
questoftheauthor,infullagreementwithallthatshehas
written.
F.C.Massingberd
St.LeonardsonSea,March20,1850
ThisquotationisreportedasbyCranmerintheLifeofArchbishopCran
merbyWilliamGilpinpublishedbyRivingtonsin1819.
9
27
28
PartINewWaysofLookingatIllness
Introduction
Eachofusknowsthatwemustdiealonebuthowfewofus
realisethat,forthemostpart,itisGod'swillthateachone
ofusmustlivealone,andsufferalone?
Eachofus "willhavetobearhisownload (Galatians6:5)
andfeelhisownincommunicablepainwhichoftenlieslike
leadupontheheart,orlikeicewithintheheart10.
Adeepsenseofisolationisnotuniquetosickness.Those
whoaresuccessfulintheworldhavetheirownlonelinessof
heartandfindithardto bear.Thisdeep,wearysense of
isolationisacalltothesicktosympathisewithandtobetter
understandthetrialsofthosewhohavehealth.
Thereisineveryheart,acravingforsympathyanditisa
restlesscravinginthosewhohaveneverlearnedwhereto
turnfortruesympathyandthatGodistheOneonlyand
onlyOnewhoisenoughtosatisfyallourneeds.
Therearefewwhodonotfeelpainedthattheirproblems
and isolation are not better understood by others. They
thinktheyoughttobe,theyexpectsympathy,theycraveit.
Theycry outintheirpain(Isaiah26:17)thattheirlotis
hardandpeculiarandthatlifeisnotsobadforothers.They
gooncomplainingsoloudlyandsoconstantlythattheydo
not,exceptoccasionallyhearthestill,smallvoicewhichis
speakingtothem,andsaying,Listentome.Whentheydo,
ittellsthemthattheirlotisnotuniqueorpeculiar,butthe
lotcommontoMankind.
Eachoneofus,inhisorherownway,orratherintheway
thatGodseesfittedtohischaracter,islivingalone.Some
moreso,somelessso.Thereisameaninginitall,anabso
10
Thisappearstobeaquotation,butitisunattributedintheoriginal.
29
lutenecessity.Thosewho Hearoftherodandofhimwho
appointedit (Micah6:9)willthennolongerfeelisolated
andwillunderstandthatthewholepointoftheirsufferingis
towithdrawthemfromothers,fromthemselves,fromthe
cravingsformaterialismandpassionandtodrivethemto
findcomfortandreliefinGodalone,andtoliveinHim.
Thelessonisalwaysthesame.Buttherearedifferentways
oflearningit.Theindividualpathwhicheachmanorwo
manwalksisnottroddenbyanyoneelse.Fromtheoutside,
wecannotjudgeitsunevenness,orhowmuchpainthereis
init.
Noonecanfullyseetheextentanddetailsofthesuffering
whichsomeoneelseisbearing.Onepersonspeakswordsof
sympathy for one part of a trial, another for some other
part.Athirdseesnotrialatallandafourththinksitmust
bemuchlessdifficulttobearthansomeotherformofsuf
fering,orthanhisorherown.Nooneexceptthesufferer
seesallitsinwardsuffering.Nooneelsecanfeelyourown
acutepain.
So each comforter leaves disappointment behind or else
makesthesuffererthink,Iwouldbeentirelywithoutcom
fort(oratleastonlyveryimperfectlyunderstood)ifIhad
myfellowsufferersonlytodependon.Eachsuffererseems
wrappedin his orher own sorrow with eyes too intently
fixedonittoseemysuffering,exceptdimly.Theymustap
pealtoHimwhoweighsthespirits.
Theweightoflifeisdifficulttobear,atthebestoftimes.
Howmuchmoreso,whenthereissickness,aswell.Then,
thereisaddedthewearylongingtomakeacontributionand
tolive.Butthereareemptydayswhichallseemdevotedto
selfandinwhichoneneverseemstodoanythingforoth
ers,excepttoaddtotheirburdens.
Onecanbecomedepressedastimepassesandbringsnore
lief. Each morning seems just to begin another day of
30
selfishness.Youfeelyoucoulddosomething,butwhatyou
can'tdecidewhat,norwheretoturnforoccupation.
Yourfriendsmayknowyouarenotwellenoughtowork
andin kindness, or so theythink, remove jobs from you.
Theytellyouthatyouarenotneeded,thatthereareplenty
ofotherswhocantakeyourplace.Theymeanthiskindly,
butyoudonotfeelitaskindness.Ifyoucouldonlyfinda
nicheandbeusefulagain,youwouldbesothankful.Not
beingusefulintheworldispartoftheburden.Remember
too, that you cannot truly feel the love that makes your
friendsspeakastheydo.
Be patient and wait. Dont rebel but instead just lie still.
Dontsay,Iamcutofffromlifeandworkandsothereis
nothingleftforme,nopointinliving.Thingsmaychange.
Dontlosetheblessingofyourpresentstateinreachingafter
somethingeither,futureorimaginary.Lookforwhatyour
workisnow.Dontasktohaveyourworldenlargedbutjust
tofulfilyourpresentrolewhichistofindyourpresentmin
istry.
Forexample,youcouldbeablessingtoyourcarer.Ifyour
carer sees you patient and submissive in your situation,
bearingpainpatiently,receivinglifecheerfullyandnotcom
plainingabouttheillnessoraboutGod,heorshemaylearn
alessonwhichmaysinkdeepintotheirheartandproduce
futurespiritualfruit.
Youmayhaveaministrytoyourfamily.Doyouhavepar
ents, or brothers, or sisters, or children living under the
sameroofwithyou?Merelytalkingtothemcheerfully,mak
ingthemfeelthattheyarealwayswelcome,thatyouare
everreadytosharetheirproblems,sympathisingwiththem,
sharingtheirinterestsandpleasuresaswellastheirsorrows
willmakeyourillnessablessingforthem.Yourhousemay
becomeblessedforyoursakebecauseGodwhohaslinked
youtotheprisonersandcaptivescanblessyou,andthe
placesallaroundmyhill(Ezekiel34:26).
31
Inthisoveractiveworld,manyarelookingforsomeplaceof
refreshmentwheretheycanleavebehindthemthejarringof
lifeanddrawnearertoreality.Dontsayinyourheartthat
thatyouhavenojob.Instead,liebackandletHim who
worksinyou,bothtowillandtoworkforhisgoodpleasure
(Philippians2:13).AskJesustomakeyousolikeHimself
thatothersmaytakenotethatyouhavebeenwithJesus
(Acts4:13). Continually refreshyourself in Him andthen
waterothers, sothatwemaybeabletocomfortthosewho
areinanyaffliction,withthecomfortwithwhichweourselves
arecomfortedbyGod."(2Corinthians1:4)
Youhaveagreatworktodo.ItistosayNotoungodliness
andworldlypassion (Timothy2:12)and towalkhumbly
withyourGod (Micah6:8).Thisministryisgloriousand
honourable. So dont despise it in case you complain
againstGod(Romans9:20)andtemptHimtowithdrawthe
test.Besides,evenifitweretruethatyouhavenothingto
do,nooutwardlife,youhaveonestoneinHisTempleto
polish.Thatstoneisyourselfandthistimeofillnessisgiven
toyoutodothis.
Consideritasatimeofpreparation,althoughyoudonot
knowwhatfor.Itmaybeforlife,oritmaybefordeath.But
donotwastetime.Dontwasteitbycomplainingorcrying
outforsomealteration.Godseesyourheartandknowsthat
this test is hard and He is compassionate and merciful
(James5:11).Heseesthatyouneedpreciselythisdiscipline
andHewillgiveyouno otherdisciplineuntilthistesthas
donetheworkforwhichHesentit.
Atthisverymoment,manyothersaresuffering,inmindand
body,justasyouaresuffering.Theyhavethesameprob
lems, painsandtemptationseven though youdont know
themandtheyknownothingofyou.Norareyoueverlikely
tomeetuntilthedaywhen thepurposesoftheheart are
disclosed(1Corinthians4:5).
32
Howyousufferisveryimportanttothembecause,unknown
toyou,youaffectthem,eventhoughyoudonotindeedex
actlyknowhow.EverymemberoftheBodyofChristisne
cessaryto,andaffectsthewholeBody.Arealisationofthis
truthwillnotonlytakeawaythelonelinessofsicknessbut
willalsopreventthefeelingofyourlifebeinguselessand
sicknessbeingmeantonlyforanindividualsincreaseinper
sonalholiness.
TheCreedsays,IbelieveinthecommunionofSaintsand
soIamnotalone.Icannotbealonebecausemytrialisnot
minealone.Myconflictsandmytemptationsarethoseof
someothermemberofChrist'sChurch.Infightingthem,I
fightforthem,aswellasformyself.Inovercomingtempta
tionsorunbelief,IweakenSatan'spoweroverthem,aswell
asovermyself.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to
man(1Corinthians10:13).Surelynoonesickshouldever
say,Mineisthehardestsuffering,themostdifficultformof
suffering.Howcanyouknowunlessyouhavetastedthem
all?11Evenifitisthehardest,thenitisthemostblessedfor
youandthemosthelpfulforsickandsufferingfellowbe
lievers.
These ideas, truly internalised, would gradually remove
yourfeelingofisolationwhichissocommonandsopainful
inlongillness.
WhohaththeFatherandtheSon,
Christboreforusthehardestsuffering:Hewasdespisedandrejectedby
men;amanofsorrows,andacquaintedwithgrief;andasonefromwhom
menhidetheirfaces;hewasdespised,andweesteemedhimnot.Surelyhe
hasborneourgriefsandcarriedoursorrows;yetweesteemedhimstricken,
smittenbyGod,andafflicted.Buthewaswoundedforourtransgressions;
hewascrushedforouriniquities;uponhimwasthechastisementthat
broughtuspeace,andwithhisstripeswearehealed.Allwelikesheephave
goneastray;wehaveturnedeveryonetohisownway;andtheLordhas
laidonhimtheiniquityofusall"(Isaiah53:36).
11
33
Maybeleft,butnotalone12.
1.1FirstImpressionsofaLongIllnessorChronic
Condition
Soanillnesshascomeuponyou.Haveyoujuststartedto
realisethatyoucannot hopethatitwillsimplydisappear
andthatitisevenlikelytobealifelongcondition?Suddenly
youaredepressed.Youfeel"yourwholeheartfaint"(Isaiah
1:5)andthatyouarein thelandofgloomlikethickdark
ness,likedeepshadowwithoutanyorder,wherelightisas
thickdarkness."(Job10:22).
Actually,whenanillnessstarts,itdoesnotseemsodark.
Goddealswithusgently.Hedoesnotletusseethefuture
lengthoftheillnessahead.Hehidesitsfulllength,incase
weshouldgiveuporloseheart.Hegivesuscomfortstothe
extentthatHemakesmakethingspleasantwhatwouldoth
erwisebeunbearable.
Atfirst,Godshowersuponusthekindnessoffriends,their
sympathy,theirnurturingcareandconcern. Itseemsasif
theworldiscentredonus,asifweweretheonlyfocusof
life.Allthisisverypleasant.Allourdesiresareanticipated,
almostbeforewehadexpressedthem.Weseemtounder
standthatourfriendshaveadeepconcernandloveforus,
thatweneverknewbefore.Wefeelthatwehavevalueand
importancefortheminawaythatwehadneverdreamedof
and that their very happiness hangsupon our wellbeing.
Theyseemtoliveinandthroughus.
Itiswellworththecounterbalanceofagreatdealofdistress
andsufferingtoexperiencesuchlove.Weseemintroduced
intoanewworldwherethereisonlylove,kindness,consid
erationandsympathyandfromwhichalltheanxietiesand
ThisquotationistakenfromStJohn'sDayapoeminTheChristan
Year(forSundayandHolidays)compiledbyRevdJohnKeblepublished
in1827.
12
34
frustrationsoflifeareexcluded.Thereasonforthisisthat
ourfriendshavepityonus.
Sowhatdoweknow,atthispoint,ofthe'testoffaith'?We
neverhadsuchattentionandlovebefore.Why?Becauseit
isallgatheredupintoabriefspace.Butthetimeiscoming
whenloveandtendernessmaynolongerbeshown.Quite
soon,thefirstcrisisoftheillnesssubsidesandforawhile,
thereisreliefandjoybecauseyouseemtobereturningto
health.ButGodhasappointedotherwise.ItisnotHisWill
togiveyouhealth,butalongdrawnout,possiblyevena
lifelong,chroniccondition.
Now,forthefirsttime,youstarttobecomeawareofthe
real'test'.Atfirst,whenthenoveltyofthestatehaspassed
awayandachanged,narrowedprospectliesbeforeyou,it
seemsfullofsorrow,asifitwillneverend.
Yearsofsuffering?Howthemindrecoilsatsuchathought!
Istherenoprospectofsomegradualrecovery?No,theop
positemaybetrue.Theconditionmaygetworse.Itisuse
lesstosay,Iloathemylife"(Job10:1)andsothatIprefer
strangling and death, rather than this body of mine (Job
7:15,16NIV).Thisisnottheanswer.Thiswillnotlighten
the heavy burden which you feel too heavy to be borne.
Dontsay,Holdyourpeacewithme,andletmespeak,then
letcomeonmewhatmay!"(Job13:13NKJV).DontsayIt
ishopeless"(Isaiah57:10)foritisnot.Yourpresentstateis
onefulloftests,temptations,depression,distressandinsec
urity.Butyoumustbelieve,equally,thatitisfullofbless
ings,fullofcomforts,mercies,workandenjoymentstoo.Be
lievethisistrue,eventhoughnowitseemstoyouthatthis
adviceislikeonewhomocks.
ApplyyourhearttotheWordofGodApplyyourhearttoin
struction and your ear to words of knowledge" (Proverbs
23:12),andthetimewillnotbefardistantwhenyouwill
seetherainbowinthecloudsandlearnwhoputitthere
andseeeachdayarainbowineverystorm.
35
At the moment, you cannot "look on the light when it is

bright in the skies when the wind has passed and cleared
them"(Job37:21).Butitwillonedaybelikethelightwhen
itisbrightintheskies,whenthewindhaspassedandcleared
them...likethesunshiningforthonacloudlessmorning(2
Samuel23:4).Whatiftherainscomefirst?
Dontbeafraidforthefloodwillnotdrownyou,becausethe
Lordwillbewithyou.Youmusttrytofocusonthegood
things and blessings which issue from illness, separately
fromitshardships.Thiscannotbesimplydonebecausethe
blessingsaresoinextricablyconnectedwiththehardships.
Youoftenthinkthatthepaininitselfwouldnotbehardto
bearbutthatthetortureisinitsinterference,asyouseeit,
withyourlifesworkanditsinconvenienceforothers.
Beassuredthatthisillnessdoesnotinterferewithyourlifes
workandcalling.WhatGodcallsyouto,Hewillgiveyou
strengthfor.Youdonothavetheinnerstrengthpreviously,
orinyourself,butifHecallsyoutosomething,Hewillgive
themeasureofstrengthrequiredatthetime,andforthat
particularthing.
Theillnessseemstointerferewiththelivesofotherpeople.
Buttheyneedthetrialofyoursickness,asmuchasyoudo.
Itwill,initswaybeasmuchablessingforthemasforyou.
LeaveitalltoGod.CommityourwaytotheLORD;trustin
him,andhewillact(Psalms37:5).
1.2Illness:AHiddenState
Thelongeranillnesscontinues,themoreyoulearnthatill
ness is a hidden state. Much of that portion of your life,
whichinhealthwouldbeseenandsharedbyothers,isnow
hiddenfromtheireyes,fromalleyes,exceptthoseofyour
Father who sees in secret (Matthew 9:24). You will now
havetolearnthatfewpeopleunderstandyourstateatall
andthat eventhosewhoreallywantto, make greatmis
36
takes,whichoftengivesyougreatand,youtendtothink,
needlesspain.
Ifyoubearinmindyourownpreviousignoranceofthestate
ofillness,howdaybyday,hiddenthingsarerevealedtoyou
too,youwillbelesssurprisedthatothersdonotknowthe
lengths,breadths,depthsandheightsofyourdistress.
Eachpersonmustpassthroughillnesstoknowthewayand
to be enabled to point out the road and its turnings and
landmarks to others. Beware, therefore, of expecting too
muchandoftakingitforgrantedthateveryone seesand
knowsyourpainandoughttoavoidaddingtoit.Donotal
waysbelookingoutforthiskindofunderstanding.Donot
expecttomeetwithitoften.Thenyouwillbesparedmuch
bitter disappointment and sorrow of heart. Doubtless, if
someof yourpainswereseenandfullyunderstood, your
friendswouldtrytoremovethem.Buthowmanyblessings
wouldyoulose?Theselittletestsrevealthethoughtsofthe
heart.Youcannotgivethemupanddonotwishtogetrid
ofthemforhedoesnotwillinglyafflictorgrievethechildren
of men. (Lamentations 3:33) He Himself would remove
themunlessHesawthattheywerenecessaryforyou.
Trynottothink,Thesetrifleswhicharetoomuchforme
andyetcouldbesoeasilyremoved.Theydonogoodand
they are too little to bring about anything positive. They
onlyproducefrustrationandstirupsinfulthoughtsinme.
Well,then,iftheycanproducesomuchevil,whycantthey
produceanequalmeasureofgood?Theirverytrivialchar
actermakesthemuseful.TheydevelopChristiancharacter
inyou,secretly,insignificantly,andyetsharply.Thinkofthe
crownofthornsborneforyou.Didthatcausenosuffering?
Yet,whatarethorns?
Itisnousehidingfromyourselfthatfromnowonyouare
goingtobedevelopedandtested.Faceitall.Lookfullyatit
andexpectsuffering.Receiveitasyourdailyportion.When
yousay Giveusthisdayourdailybread," (Matthew6:11)
37
rememberthatyouareaskingforyourdailyportionofsuf
fering.Butnever forgetalsothat you are asking for your
dailyportionofstrength,whichyouwillalsoreceive.
Itisbesttolookuponillnessasastatewhollydifferentfrom
anyconditionthatyouhaveeveryetknown.Itinvolvesa
wholly different set of distresses, temptations, trials and
blessings.Itisnottobelookedatortreatedlikethestateof
health.Lookuponeachlittlestruggleasatriali.e.asmean
ingthathemighthumbleyou,testingyoutoknowwhatwas
inyourheart,whetheryouwouldkeephiscommandmentsor
not."(Deuteronomy8:2).
Itisapainfulthingtofeelasifyouareinacageinillness
and it offers the constant temptation to beat your wings
againstthesidesofit.Butstayonyourperchquietlyand
you will not feel the bondage and imprisonment of your
cage.Afterall,itisGodwhohasshutyouinandtherefore
youaresafethere,andonlythere.
Youmustnotexpectthatillnesswilleverbecomeapleasant
thing, a condition without great pain and distress. But
wouldyouwishthistobethecase?Whatblessingcanyou
expectfromanystate,withoutpain?Whatcouldyoulearn
fromit?HowwoulditlikenyoutoyourMaster,whowas
made perfectthroughsuffering" (Hebrews2:10)?Forthe
Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son
whomhereceives"(Hebrews12:1).
DoyouwanttobedeprivedofthistokenofHisesteem?You
woulddowelltomakeupyourmindnottoexpectordesire
this. Face the whole trial. Dont draw back from acknow
ledgingtoyourselfthatillnessisfullofdistressandtesting
andwillalwaysbesoaslongasitlasts.Itismeanttobe.As
soonasyougetusedtoanyportion,itstopsdistressingyou
andthenitstopsblessingyou.Atthatpoint,theGodofLove
willchangeitforsomeotherformofdiscipline.HeHimself
wentnotuptojoy,butfirstHesufferedpain.Heenterednot
intoHisglorybeforeHewascrucified(Hebrews12.10).
38
SoourwaytoeternaljoyistosufferherewithChrist,and
ourdoortoenterintoeternallifeisgladlytodiewithChrist,
thatwemayriseagainfromdeathanddwellwithHimin
everlastinglife"(fromTheServiceforTheVisitationofthe
Sick).
1.3TheTwofoldCharacterofIllness
Ifweconsiderourillnessasourownprivatepropertywhich
hasreferenceonlytoourselvesitbecomesjustthat:ourown
privateproperty.Itslessonsarepersonalandsoareitsbless
ings.Instead,wemustneverlosesightofthetwofoldchar
acterofourillness.
Illness is personal and meant for our individual profit,
...thatwemaysharehisholiness(Hebrews12:10).Itisin
tendedtomakeusmorelikeJesus,"toincreasedivinegrace
inyou,toaddstrengthtoyourfaithandseriousnesstoyour
repentance"(ServiceforTheVisitationoftheSick13)andto
makerepentancereal,deepandearnest,asneverbefore.
IllnessisintendedtomouldyourwilltoGodswill,todis
solveyouuntilyouarelostinHim.Itistocorrectyouand
developyou,andforyourchasteningfrompastandpresent
sins.Itistochangetheappearanceoftheearthandofyour
fellow human beings toshow them in their true light, to
showtheirinadequacies,incontrasttoGod.
Illnessisintendedtoshowwhatotherscandoinrelationto
yourneeds,andwhatonly Hecandoforyou.Itdemon
stratestheirdistanceandHisnearness,theirincompetence
and His completeness, their onesided knowledge and in
completejudgementandHisperfectknowledgeandinspec
tionofyou.Letthispersonalcharacterofillnessneverbe
missed.
13
SeeAppendixforthefulltext.
39
Everyillnessisakindofchastisementanditcomeshome
intotheheart,saying Youaretheman!" (2Samuel12:7).
Buttheotherviewofitshouldneverbeforgotten.
Moreover,yourillnessisnotforyourselfalone,butforthe
wholeChurch...fromwhomthewholebody,joinedandheld
togetherbyeveryjointwithwhichitisequipped,wheneach
part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it
buildsitselfupinlove(Ephesians4:16).Thosewhoarewell
couldnotgoonwithoutthosewhoareill,anymorethan
thosewhoareillcouldgoonwithoutthosewhoarewell.In
manythings,thehealthyneedthesick.
Theyneedtohavethisembodimentofalargepartofthe
sufferingofJesusChristkeptconstantlybeforethem.They
needtoberemindedofdeathandJudgement.Theyneed
theballastofsufferingtokeepthemsteady.Theyneedto
learnfrom itthat Surelyaman goesaboutasashadow!
Surelyfornothingtheyareinturmoil;manheapsupwealth
anddoesnotknowwhowillgather(Psalms39:6).
They need that what is kind, sympathising and gentle in
them to be developed and, through your own illness, re
fined.Theyneedtoseeliferealandinearnestwithallits
glossstrippedoff,whatitcomesto,whattheymustcome
to.Theyneedthevoiceofillnesstosaytothem,Therefore
youalsomustbeready,fortheSonofManiscomingatan
houryoudonotexpect"(Matthew24:44).Toshowthemall
this,isonepurposeofillness.
Ifyoulookuponillnessasawork,amissiontowhichGod
hascalledyou,eventhoughyouseemonlycalledtosuffer,
youwillnotlookuponitasalonelyordeal.
1.4TheSeemingLengthofanIllness
Alifelongillness?Whataterriblethought.Itseemsasifit
isgoingtobeunending.ButWhatisyourlife?Youareyou
areamistthatappearsforalittletimeandthenvanishes"
40
(James4:14).Doctorsmayspeakofitslastingindefinitely
becauseitslengthcannotbedefinedbythem.
WithGodaretheissuesoflifeandofdeath.Hewilldaily
and hourly, moment by moment, apportion to you your
measureofsuffering,aswellasthemeasureofstrengthto
carryyou through it. You do not have to bear the whole
lengthofyourillnessnow,atthistime,butonlyminuteby
minute.Sodonotincreaseyourpresentsufferingbyadding
toitthefutureburden.Godknowshowbesttodealwith
you.DonotbeafraidsinceallthesethingsareinHishand
andHelaysthemonyou,notallatonce,butlittlebylittle,
toprepareyouforgreatertests.
Weneverhavemoreamoreseveretrialthanwecanbear.
Wecanalwaysbearthepresenthour.Foreachday,soisour
strength.Ifthetrialsofmanyyearsweregatheredintoone,
wewouldbebroken.Therefore,incompassionatourlittle
strength,Godsendsfirstoneandthenanother.Thenhere
moves both and lays on a third, heavier perhaps, than
either.Butallpainissowiselymeasuredtoourmeasureof
strengththatthebruisedreedisneverbroken.
Wemustnotlookatourtrialsenough,inthiscontinuous
andsuccessiveview.Eachtestissenttoteachussomething.
Moreover,intotal,theyhavealessonwhichisbeyondthe
powerofanysingleoneofthemtoteachonitsown.Ifthey
cameallatonceandalltogetherweshouldbreakdownand
learnnothing.Thesmokingflaxwouldbeputoutandwe
shouldbecrushedintothedustofdeath(Psalms22:15).
Thereisnootherwaytolookatthepaththatliesinfrontof
you. It seems a long and weary road without end. Or at
least,theendissofardistant,soincalculable,thatitseems
endless.
Youmayhavebeentoldthatyourillnessisnotfatal,init
self,andyetitmaylastmanyyears.Butevenimaginingthis
is correct, it need not be this particular illness which is
destinedtoremoveyoutotherestthatremains.Someoth
41
erconditionmaycomealonganydayandhoweverslightit
mayseem,hewhosendsitcanmakeit"hismessenger"and
itmaybringthetruetokenwhichisdeath.
Dont distress yourself, therefore, with trying to ascertain
theprobablelengthofyourillness,theturnsitmighttake,
orhowitmayend.LeaveeverythingtoHimwhosaid,Iam
theWayandtheTruthandtheLife"(John16:6).Atthemo
ment,youaresayingwithThomas "Lord,wedonotknow
where you are going. How can we know the way?" (John
14:5).Theansweristhesame,nowasthenIamtheWay.
HeistheWayinwhichyouarewalking.TheTruthis
yourTeacher.TheLifeisChrist,inwhomyourlifeishid
den. To believe this, with your heart, would be perfect
peace.Youwouldhavenosecondwillofyourown.
Allow God to lead you anywhere, through any illness,
howeverlongandwearisomeitmightbe.Eventhoughto
youitseemstohavenoend,trustthatitistheshortest,as
wellasthesafestandthebestway,theonlywaywhichcan
leadyouwhereHehasgonetoprepareaplaceforyou.By
allthesemethods,Heispreparingyouforthatplacewhich
Hehasalreadypreparedforyou.Heknowsexactlywhatis
necessary.
Onadarknightinastrangeplace,youmusttrustyourself
toaguide.PutyourselfintoHishands.Thewaymayseem
verydark,drearyandsolitarybutHeknowsit.Hehastrod
deneverystepandwillsurelyleadyousafelybyastraight
waytilltheyreachedacitytodwellin"(Psalms107:7).
1.5LessonswhichVariousIllnessesareMeantto
Teach
In the extreme of suffering from thirst which some have
beencalledtopassthrough,whentheirtonguestucktothe
roofoftheirmouth (Job29:10)wordsfailedmythroatis
parched(Psalms69:3)andthespiritwasfaintfromsuffer
42
ing; in the peculiar distress of irritability and impatience

which accompanies thirst, the restlessness, the fever, the
feelingofintensemisery,noonethinksitwrongtotryand
quenchtheirthirst.
Butwhenallhelpfails,thenthespiritturnstoGodalone
andgivesthankstoHimwho,whenHewasontheCross,
condescended to endure that suffering. Then those two
words, I thirst (John 19:28) seemed inexpressibly gra
cious, loving and compassionate. They demonstrate His
powertosympathisewhichhasenabledmanysufferersto
liestillandbearHislesserwoe.Thosewho,whentheysay
Iamverythirstycanquenchthethirst.Thosewhowhen
theyareveryhungryhavefoodtoeatandpowertoretainit,
littleknowtheexquisitetendernessofthelovingkindnessof
the Good Shepherd who suffered hunger and thirst for
them.
JesusChristcallsthesesuffererstopassthroughthesedry
places,bearstheminHisarms,carriestheminHisbosom
andleadsthemtoseeafullnessofmeaningintheGospels,
whichtheycouldneverhaveseenotherwise.Forexample,
inthestoryofthemiraculousloavesandfishes,Hefeeds
manythousandswithhardlyanybread.Itisnotmeaning
lessthatthreetimesintheyear,theChurch,intheGospels
appointedforSundays,callsustorememberthemiracleof
thefeedingofthefivethousand.
Thevariousformsofillnessseemtoteachustheirownsep
aratelessonWhoeveriswise,lethimattendtothesethings"
(Psalms107:43)
All those diseases which deprive people of some

senseorpower,speakeachwiththeirownvoiceand
remindusthatGodgaveussightandhearingand
thepowerofmovementandaction.
Degenerativeillnessesseemtosay,perhapswitha
loudervoicethanalltherest,TheAlmightyGodis
43
theLordoflifeanddeathandofallthingswhich
pertaintothem.
Thosediseaseswhichattackthedigestiveorgansand
whicheitherpreventthedigestionortheretainingof
food,saythatwhatwecallcommonmerciesarethe
good gifts of God not once for all, but daily and
hourly.Wethinkitasacommonmercy,ifweregard
itasamercyatall,to beabletoeatand,having
eaten,tobenourishedandsuffernoinconvenience
fromit.Wethinkitmostoddifdigestionisnotlike
this,somethingthatwillquicklyleaveus.Howmany
days, andmonths, and years, we have taken daily
meals without looking at each one as a dailyre
newed mercy from our ever watchful Lord, who
knowsourframe"(Psalms107:14)?
1.6SicknessasaVocation
SicknessforthemomentisthestateoflifeintowhichGod
hascalledyou.Itisyourcalling:yourvocation.Assuchyou
willregarditasverygood.Youwillalsofeelthatnostate
canbeasgoodasthattowhichHehascalledyou.Youwill
desiretohavenochoiceaboutwhethertoliveortodies,to
remain in your present state or to recover your physical
health.
Whateverisclearlyyourworkoryourcalling,doit!Beas
suredthatwehavenoa hardman,reapingwhereyoudid
notsow, and gathering whereyou scatterednoseed (Mat
thew25:24).
HewillgiveyoustrengthforeachthingthatHecallsyouto.
ButyoumustalwaysrememberthatitiswhatHecalledyou
toandnotanyselfchosenpathinwhichyoucannotexpect
thepowertoperformyourtasks.Thisisyourworknowand
thereforedonotscornit.Donotdisregarditorthinkofit
lightly.Thisworkrequiresgreatpatience,greatfaith,great
44
love and great submission. Ask yourself then, has He not

honouredyoubyentrustingittoyou?
Do you ask yourself how you can show forth His praise
(Psalms106:2)ifyoucannotmovehandorfoot,andIcan
scarcelythink?Theanswerwillgiveyouworkenough.For
it will require a vigorous, earnest, daily, hourly, inner
struggle,asharpruleoveryourself,atruefightoffaith
which you cannot fight unless you take up the whole ar
mourofGod(Ephesians6:13).
Insomeminds,thereisagreatimpatienceabouttherestric
tionsofsicknessandanexcessivedesireforhealing,which
mustbebroughtintosubjectionandyieldedwhollytoGod.
Therearesuchavarietyofcharactersanddispositions,that
eachpersonneedsadifferentdiscipline.
Somelearnmorequicklyintheschoolofsicknessthanoth
ers.Somemakeagreatefforttolearnandarenevercontent
withtheirpresentprogress.Theyarealwaysseekingtolearn
more,topracticemore,torisehigher.Thisrequiresgreat
selfdisciplineandconstantlybeingonyourguard.Thebirds
oftheairareconstantlytryingtoeatthegoodseedsownon
thegroundandoftenthesunisveryscorching.Iftheseed
doesnotlookforthedew whichcanmoistentheground,
thegroundbecomeshardortheseedwithersaway.
Becarefulabouthowyoulookuponyourselfascutofffrom
lifeandfromlife'spleasures.Youarenotcutoff,onlytaken
aside,orlaidaside,possiblyonlyforashortseasonorpos
sibly for life. But you are still part of the Body of which
ChrististheHead.
Somemustsufferandsomemustserve,buteachmemberis
necessarytotheothers. Thewholebodyisjoinedandheld
togetherbyeveryjointwithwhichitisequipped (Ephesians
4:16)Theeyecannotsaytothehand,Ihavenoneedofyou
noragaintheheadtothefeet,Ihavenoneedofyou"(1Cor
inthians12:21).
45
Youmayhavebeenaveryactivepersonbeforeyourillness,
orevenanathlete:yourlifewasfilledwithgreatenergyand
activity.Nowyouaregrievingbecauseyoucannolongerbe
busy,runorphysicallyexercise.Donotgrieveanddonot
envythosewhocanstilldowhatyoucannot.Youmaybe
giventheworkoftheheadortheeye,buttheworkisgiven
byGod.Itmaybetheworkofrest,ofhardlymovinghand
orfoot,scarcelyspeakingorshowinganylife,atall.Donot
worryaboutit!IfGodhasgivenittoyoutodo,itisHis
workandHewillblessit.
Donotcomplainaboutit.DonotsayThisiswork,andthis
isnotwork.Howdoyouknow?Whatworkdoyouthink
Daniel14wasdoinginthelions'den?OrShadrach,Meshach,
andAbednego inthefieryfurnace?Theirworkwasglori
ous,laudableandhonourablefortheywereglorifyingGod
insuffering.
Ifwetrulyknewwhatsorrowis,weshouldcountitahigh
callingtobeallowedtoministertheleastworkofcomfortto
theafflicted.So,ifwearecalledtosuffer,letusunderstand
ittobeacalltoaministryofhealing.Godissettingusapart
toapastoraloffice,whichisthecareofthesickofHisflock.
Thereisahiddenministrywhichworksinperfectharmony
withtheordersofHisChurch.Itisaministryofsecretcom
fort,diffusingitselfbythepowerofsympathyandprayer.
WithinHisvisibleChurcharemanywhosorrow,manywho
weepalone.Itisafellowshipofsecretmourners.Tothem,
thecontriteandhumbleinheartareperpetuallyministering
andsheddingpeace,thoughoftenunawareofit.Givenin
trusttothemfortheconsolationofHiselect,arethethings
theyhavelearnedinperiodsofsuffering intheirlife and
perceptionsaboutGod'sloveandpresence.Often,theydo
notknowwheretheirwordsgo.Perhapstheyneverseeor
everwill,inthislife,thosewhomtheyhavecomforted?In
fact,thesechosencomfortersmaybeunknowntoonean
14
SeeDanielChapter6
46
other, but they are bound together in bonds higher than

bloodbonds.Theyarejoinedandconstitutedinthathigher
unitywhichistheorderofChrist'sKingdomsothatwhenall
therelationshipsinthislowerlifearedissolved,thebonds
oftheirheavenly relationships will be revealed. Mourners
andcomforterswillmeettogetherintheholyCityofGod
andHewillwipeawayeverytearfromtheireyes,anddeath
shallbenomore,neithershalltherebemourning,norcrying,
norpainanymore,fortheformerthingshavepassedaway"
(Revelations21.4).
Youhavebeencalledtothisministryofhealing.Youhave
beensetaparttoperformit,throughsuffering.Youlearn
how to fulfil it through the things which you suffer
(Hebrews 5:8). You must godeep into the waters to feel
howcoldanddeeptheyareandmanytimesyouthought
you would be drowned, the deeps swallow me (Psalms
69:15).Butyouhavebeentaughtbysufferingtoknowmore
of the Love and faithfulness of God than you could have
learnedinanyotherway.
Nowyouarecalledtogointothewaterwitheachperson
who asks for help and to show them that there is firm
groundundertheirfeet.Youarecalledtoshowthemwhere
Heis,HewhothoughHeappearstobesleepingonlywaits
forthemtocrytoHim,Lord,savemeorIperish(Matthew
8:25).
Theymaybetryingto'walkonthewater'withouthaving
learnedyetabouthumanfrailty.Theyaresinkingandthey
crytoyouforhelp15.Hereisyourwork,deliveredtoyour
sickbed.Youaskedforworkandhereisit.Bethankfulfor
itandaskHimtoblessit.Askonlytorunyourownraceand
todoyourdutyinthestateoflifeinwhichithaspleased
Himtocallyou.Ifyouhavebeencalledtosickness,bejoy
fulthatyouareconsideredworthyofthiscalling(2Thes
salonians1:11)andsubmityourselfwhollytoHisholywill
15
SeeMatthew14:2233.
47
andpleasure;andbesurethatitshallturntoyourprofit,
andhelpyouforwardintherightwaythatleadstoeverlast
inglife(ServicefortheVisitationoftheSick).
1.7TheProbabilityofRecovery
Evenifyouconsideryourconditionalifelong,chronicill
ness,theremaybetimes whenthepossibilityofrecovery
stillseemsreasonable.Sometimes,itmaybewithasudden
hope,withanimpatientlonging.Atothertimes,withahope
thatitwillneverhappen,arejectionoftheveryideaofit.
Then again, you may feel a morbid indifference or, yet
again,awildexpectation.
Probably,whentheillnessstarted,youwerewillingeitherto
dieandgotobewiththeLord16,ordesiredforrecoveryand
relief,withprayers,forrecovery.Perhaps,youwerealmost
frightenedyouwouldrecoverbecauseyouwantedtodieso
much.Youwererighttopray,inseriousness,thatifitwere
the will of God, you would recover your bodily health.
Health isa precious gift, full ofblessings, responsibilities,
sorrows and enjoyments. Besides, life is a wonderful and
blessedgiftfromGodandweoughttolovelifeandheartily
togivethanksforourcreation, preservation,andall the
blessingsofthislife.
Perhaps your particular temptation has been not to value
lifeenough,tobeindifferenttoit(andtohealth)andtosee
nobrightnessandblessinginit,onlyadepressingburdento
beborne?YoumayhavefounditdifficulttothankGodfor
TheApostlePaulwrote:Yes,weareofgoodcourage,andwewould
ratherbeawayfromthebodyandathomewiththeLord.Sowhetherwe
areathomeoraway,wemakeitouraimtopleasehim(2Corinthians
6:8.9);and:FortometoliveisChrist,andtodieisgain.IfIamtolivein
theflesh,thatmeansfruitfullabourforme.YetwhichIshallchooseIcannot
tell.Iamhardpressedbetweenthetwo.Mydesireistodepartandbewith
Christ,forthatisfarbetter.Buttoremaininthefleshismorenecessaryon
youraccount.Convincedofthis,IknowthatIwillremainandcontinue
withyouall,foryourprogressandjoyinthefaith.(Philippians1:2125)
16
48
your creation and preservation. At times, sinfully, you

havewishedyourdaysonearthwereover.You have be
lievedthatyouarereadytodie,oratleastyoufeltthatGod
couldmakeyoureadyatanymoment.Insteadofseeingthe
balanceofgoodandevil,youryears have beenthosein
whichyou said,Ihave nopleasure inthem (Ecclesiastes
12:1).
You havecarriedyourwearyloadofdiscontent with life,
andhaveenviedthedeadwhohaveescapedfromit.You
thoughtthatyouwishedto...todepartandbewithChrist,
forthatisfarbetter(Philippians1:23).Butperhapsyouare
reallymoreanxioustoescapeduties,frominnerconflicts,
frompainanddepression?Howoftenyouhavesaid, Oh,
thatIhadwingslikeadove!Iwouldflyawayandbeatrest"
(Psalms55:6)?Youcouldnotenjoylife:yourefusedto.You
hadmuchtomakeitpleasantbutyouwouldnotlookatthe
brightthingsandthoughttherewasnothingbutdarkness
aroundyou.
You thought, for example, that you were not treated lov
ingly enough by others, or that everyone you have loved
besthadbeentakenfromyouorthatyourclosestemotional
bondshadbeencutandyouwerebeingcalledtogoonliv
ing.YoucannotsayfromyourheartGodisLove,orrather
Lovetoyou.YoufeltthatHedealtharshlywithyou.Ifyou
were ill, you impatiently watched your symptoms hoping
thateachonewasfatal.Youwereangrywhenfriendssaid
thatyouweregettingorlookingbetterandevenmoreangry
ifadoctorsaidso.Youthoughttheydidnotknowandun
derstandbecauseyoupreferredtodie,butyouwerebeing
compelledtogoonliving.Yourspiritfrettedatwhatseemed
anunreasonabledelay,suchalongtimetowaittoescape.
Youmayhaveoftenprayedforaministryandyet,whenyou
havebeengivenit,ithasnotseemedenoughforyourcapa
cities.Oritisnotthekindsuitedtoyou.Soyoursoulhas
49
neverbeen at rest, becauseit hasconstantly beenfeeling

aftersomethingthatithasneverfound.
50
PartIIASPECTSOFILLNESS
2.1Pain
Peopleoftenaskwhetherpainorweaknessisthehardestto
bear?Someofthechronicallyillspeakofoneasmucheasi
ertobearthantheother.However,inalongillnesstheyare
possiblyalmostinseparable.Theyaresointermixedtogether
thatitisscarcelypossibletosaywhichkindofsufferingisto
beclassedundereachheading.
Therearepainswhicharedistinctfromweaknessandweak
nessisnotalwaysaccompaniedbypain.Thosewords,Itis
justweaknessandItisonlyweaknessareasdespairingas
anywordsthatcanbeutteredinalongandwearycondi
tion.Nomatterwhetherthereisaclearreasonforweakness
ornot,thetrialisthesame.
Somepeopleareendowedwithmuchmorenaturalcourage
andfortitudethanothers.Forthem,itisnotsodifficultto
bearacutepainforashorttime.Butwhenitisdrawnout,
whenitrequirespatience,patienceandfortitudearenotal
wayscombined.
Thereisapeculiarcharacterinseverechronicpainwhenit
firsthappens.Itseemstobringallthesinsofourlivesbe
foreusandtospeaktouswithapiercingemphasis.We
cannotunderstandit.Thenatureofpainisquiteincompre
hensibleanditseffectsarehiddenfromus.Wedonotseeits
prognosis,sohowcanweknowitsobject?Ifwethinkabout
theincomprehensiblenatureofpain,mentalandbodily,we
mustconsideritshiddennature,itsvividness,itspenetra
tionanditsomnipresenceinourwholebeing.Ifwethink
aboutitsinscrutableorigin,wemustthinkabouttheindis
solublelinkwhichbindsittooriginalsin.Then,wemust
consideritsmysteriousrelationtotheCross,thePassionand
perfectionofourLord.Thenweshallseereasontobelieve
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thatapowersonearandsoawfulhasmuchenergy,andful
filsmanydesignsinGod'skingdom,whicharesecret.
Somepainsaremuchmoredifficulttobearthanothers.For
example:
thosewhichaffecttheheadandpreventallmental
activity;
someinternalpainsthathaveaknifelikesharpness;
somediseasesthatarecontagiousorphysicallyun
sightlyandit requiresaneffort oflove or dutyto
nursethemandtheyinvolvesomuchinexpressible
andinconceivablesuffering thatlifebecomesmere
endurance.
These,andmanyotherconditions,suchasconstantnausea
andinabilitytoretainfoodteachusthatthesearebodiesof
humiliation.Theyhelpustotakeholdofandunderstand
somethingofthewonderfulmeaningandblessingofJesus
promise, But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we
awaitaSaviour,theLordJesusChrist,whowilltransformour
lowlybodytobelikehisgloriousbody,bythepowerthaten
ableshimeventosubjectallthingstohimself (Philippians
3:2021).
Thereisalargeclassofhiddenemotionalandphysicalpains
whichgainnosympathywhatsoever,andyetwhichcause
greatsufferingtothosewhohavethem.
Achronicconditionmaybesomethingquitestraightforward
butitwillnotrespondtotreatment.Itmaybesomemysteri
ousorlittleunderstoodcondition.Itmaybesomethinghid
den which doctors can neither explain nor remove, but
whichmayaseffectually'scourge'thesuffererasanyknot
tedcordcouldscourgeit.Wethinkofitasapainwithout
glory,becausebearingitinacheerfulspiritbringsnohon
ourorcredit.Thepaingoesonandonandthereisnoim
provementinit.Yearspassanditisstillthere,asfreshto
youinitssufferingaswhenitfirstbegan,butthenovelty
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hasgone.Thevigorouseffortofpatienceisover.Itwears
youout,daybyday.Yourfriendshavemostlyforgottenit.
Nowandthen,someoneaskswhetheryoustillsufferfromit
andyoufeelthatitisverykindofthemtoremember.But,
forthemostpart,thetaleofyoursufferingisforgotten,and
youmustbearitalone,asfarasthosenearyouarecon
cerned.
Youmayhaveseenmanydoctorsandspecialists17.Somesee
nothinginitworthinterest.Othersforlackofabettername
callitanervouscomplaint.Sometellyouthatthereisno
treatmentanditwillremainwithyouaslongasyoulive.
Well,sobeit!Nolengthofyearsorcontinuanceofpainwill
evercauseHimwhosendstheconditionorpaintoforget
your suffering or that you cannot bear it for a moment,
withoutHishelp.
Godwhoappointsthelengthandmeasureofthesuffering,
doesnotsenditandforgetwhatHehasdoneandhowHe
hascausedyoutosuffer.Hewillbenearyoubecauseitis
Hisvisitation.TheonlyfearisthatyouforgetthatHeis
near,donotknoworrealiseHispresence,noraskHishelp,
butthinkinsteadthatyoucanbearitallalone.Ifyoudoso,
thenyouwillceasetobeabletobearitandwillbecome
likeanuntrainedcalf(Jeremiah31:18).
AskHimtogiveyouthatlivingfaithwhichseesHishand
bringingtheconditionandfittingitinallitsminutestparts
toyourcharacterandneeds.Heholdsitsothatitdoesnot
presstooheavilyevenonthetenderestparts,toenableyou
toseehowitisworkingforyou.Thisisafarmoreexceed
ingandeternalweightofglory.Thisfaithwouldenableyou
tosee aneternalweightofglorybeyondallcomparison,as
welooknottothethingsthatareseenbuttothethingsthat
ThisisreminiscentofthewomenwhocomestoJesusinMark,whohad
sufferedmuchundermanyphysicians,andhadspentallthatshehad,and
wasnobetterbutrathergrewworse(Mark5:26).
17
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areunseen.Forthethingsthatareseenaretransient,butthe
thingsthatareunseenareeternal(2Corinthians4:1718).
Donottrytomeasureorcomparepain.Forexample,donot
compareyourpainwiththatofothers,askingwhetheritis
greaterorlessthansomeoneelse'sorthanapainthatyou
havesufferedinthepast.Simplybearit,asitis,notasyou
thinkitcouldbemodified.Donotbetooeagerandrestless
togetitrelievedorremoved.UntilitisthewillofGodthat
it isremoved, bear it silently, patiently, rendering service
withagoodwillastotheLordandnottoman (Ephesians
6:7).
LooktoJesusChristfortheblessingfromit,andyouwillre
ceiveit.Attimes,itmayseemalmostimpossibletobearthis
painanylonger.Infact,itwouldbeimpossibletobear,if
the bearing of it was yours alone, but He gives us more
grace(James4:6).Hetookourillnessesandboreoursick
nesses"(Matthew8:17).
Godknowsthemeasureandthenumberofyourpains.In
alltheirafflictionhewasafflicted,andtheangelofhispres
encesavedthem;inhisloveandinhispityheredeemedthem;
heliftedthemupandcarriedthemallthedaysofold(Isaiah
63:9).Hewillcarryyounow,andtotheendofyourillness,
howeverdistantthathouranddaymaybe.
2.2Weakness
Weakness forms a great part of all illnesses of whatever
kind.Itisastatefullofdistressandtemptations.Toeach
oneofusitseemstobeawilderness,alandofdesertsand
pits,alandofdroughtanddeepdarkness,inalandthatnone
passes through, where no man dwells (Jeremiah 2:6).
However,agreatmultitudethatnoonecouldnumber,from
everynation,fromalltribesandpeoplesandlanguages(Rev
elations 7:9) are walking there, continually, each one of
themthinkingthatheorsheiswalkingalone.
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TheVariationofWeaknessinDifferentPeople
Weaknessanddebilitydiffersomuchintheirintensity,and
intheircondition,thatnoonecanmeasuretheminanother
person.
Eventhesickoftenmisunderstandandmisjudgeweakness
ineachotherandthinkthatbecauseonepersonwhoisill
candocertainthings,everyoneelsecan.Thisisauniversal
mistakerelatingtoweakness.
Weaknessaffectspeopleinverydifferentways,differingac
cordingtothediseaseandaccordingtothepatientsphysic
almakeupandconstitution.Forexample,
onepersonmaynotbeabletoleavehisbed;
another,maynotbeatalllessreallyill,yetmaybe
abletogetupandwalkaroundthehouse,canbear
to go out and perhaps even might go for a short
walk;
anothermaybeunabletobeartoseeevenaclose
friendortalkatallandyetmaybeabletogetup
andgetdressed;
anothersufferer,maybeunabletotalk;
anothermightbeabletowrite;
anotherisunabletoreadorusetheirmindinany
way,withoutthemostpainfulresults.
Thefirstpersonmaybeabletobearagreatdealofnoise,
another,noneatall.Extremenervousagitationofthemind
maybeproducedbytrafficornoisesinthehouseorinternal
noiselikeadoorslammed,aloudtoneofvoice,oreventhe
voiceofachild.Anothermayliketohavealightroombe
causeitischeerfulandyetanothermaynotbeabletobear
lightatall.Thelattermaybeunabletobearavoicereading
aloud,whiletheformermayenjoyitandfinditverysooth
ing.Tosome,theeffortofconcentrationmaybeimpossible;
toothers,itmaybeeasiertoreadtooneselfortotalkto
55
someone.Yetinrealitythelattergroupmaynotbemoreill
thantheformer.
Weakness shows itself in very different ways. Therefore
Judgenot,thatyoubenotjudged(Matthew7:1)butleave
italltoHimwhois arighteousjudge,strongandpatient
(Psalms7:11).
TheProblemofSensitivitytoLight
Itisquitecertainthatofthemanyformsoftrialandtempta
tionspresentedbyweakness,eachonehastobefoughtand
resisted,butquietly.Otherwiseannoyancewillincreaseand
thenthetrialwouldbeallbutimpossibletoovercome.
If noises distress you, remember that by giving into your
nervousirritationandinremovingeverycauseofnoiseas
farasitispossible,youputyourselfmoreintotheposition
of being worn down by it. If, instead of having everyone
comeintoyourroomorwalkaboutthehouseontiptoe,
youtrytogetusedtothesoundoftheirnaturalstep,itwill
preventmuchongoingdistress.
Ifyoutrytobearirritations,graduallyyouwillfindthatyou
mindthem,lessandless.If,whenchildrenorteenagersare
around,youtellthemtogoawayorbequiet,youdeprive
themofmuchpleasureincomingtoseeyou.Youwillmake
theirvisitsinhibitedandunpleasantanddepriveyourselfof
theenjoymentofthemandtheirloveandenjoymentoftheir
individual characters. You will give them the impression,
perhapsforlife,thatdisabilityandillnesscreatesadepress
ingatmosphere,tobeavoided,onlytobevisitedoutofne
cessity.Youlittleknowthenegativeeffectthatthisimpres
sionmayhaveonthem,ortheoppositeimpression,fortheir
good. For their sake, they should be reminded that with
someonewhoisilltheymustbequieterthanelsewhereand
thattheyshouldnotbeboisterous.Theyshouldbetaught
56
fromanearlyagetorespectandconsiderthepoor,for In
thedayoftroubletheLorddelivershim18.
Foryourownsake,neverbecometooselfishaboutnoise,
light,oranythingelseifyoucanpreventyourself.Theabil
itytobearthingsincreaseswithhabitandwithdetermina
tion.But,ifthetemptationisyieldedto,thepower,orthe
supposed capability, diminishes, until finally you will be
comereallyincapableofbearingalmostanything.
TheProblemofSensitivitytoExternalNoises
You can never get rid of all external noises, for example
traffic,buildingworksandsoon.Theyarethemostdifficult
ofanynoisestogetusedto.Incertainstates,theycanbe
verydistressingandseemtobecomemorepainfulandless
bearable,astimegoesby.
Theonlysolutionistotellyourself,Iamplacedhereby
God.Heputmehere,inthisveryplace,toworkforhim.IfI
trytoescapefromthenoise,IshalldisobeyHim.Itismeant
totestmyfaithandcompleteobedience.He,Iknow,will
helpmetobearit,minutebyminute.ItisallHiswill.
Of course, there are statesof physical suffering, in which
noiseandlightmust,asfaraspossible,beshutout,fora
timebuttheyaretheexceptions.Herewearespeakingof
ordinary,everydaycasesofbackgroundnoise.
TheHabitsofIllness
Ineveryway,thefewerinvalidhabitsyoudevelopinillness
anddisability,thebetteritwillbeforyouinthelongrun,
foryourhealthandhappiness,andthatofallthosearound
Psalms41:1.Thisversebearsanimportantmessageforcarersofthe
disabled,sickandweak.AcompassionateGodwillseeallcompassionate
actionstowardstheweakandbrokeninbody,heartandmind(whether
theyareChristiansornonChristians)andwillprotect,preserveandbless
themintheland.Wemustassumethatcaringfortheweak,insome
mysteriousway,protectscarersfromevil.
18
57
you.Thesehabitsgrowquicklyinthesickandtheyhaveto
beresistedintheearlieststages.
Asickpersonshouldtrytoconsiderasfewthingsnecessary
aspossibleandtodenyhimselforherselfinlittlethings,so
thatselfishnessdoesnotstarttogrow.Inillness,youhavea
real battle on your hands not to become moody, morbid,
selfcentred,inconsiderateandtotallyinsensitivetoevery
onearoundyou.
WeaknessofMind
Youoftenfeelasifyouwereimprisonedbyphysicalsuffer
ing.Youmayhaveaheavyburdenofconstantmalaise,de
pressionandpain,inastateinwhichyourmindhasbeen
muchweakened.Itissodifficulttofocusyourthoughtson
anything.Youtrytobutthementaleffortseemstoincrease
yourmentalandphysicalweakness.Yourmindseemsun
abletofixonanything.Youmaytrytothink.Youthinkofa
topic,butyousay,WhatwasIthinkingabout?Mymindis
confused,muddledandweak.Donttrytoohard.Letyour
thoughtsgo. Aswaterspilledontheground(Genesis38:9
AV)soarethey.
Do not distress yourself about not being able to think
clearly.Itisallpartofbeingill.Youmustbepassivenow
andletHimworkonyourbehalf.AskGodtoputintoyour
mind gooddesires(CollectforEaster Day).Itis onlyby
His holy inspiration that we think those things that are
good(CollectforFifthSundayafterEaster).Liebackand
restinhim,andifwemaysayit,reverentlyofcourse,let
Himdothethinkingforyou.
MentalandSpiritualWarfare
Youmaybebesetbyconstantlygoingoverbadexperiences
inyourmindandbyforgettingallyourhappiestmemories.
Youmayhavebeenexposedtosometraumawhich,forthe
entire world, you wish you hadspared. Yet now, inyour
58
mentalweakness,suchthingsaresetlosetohauntandtor
mentyouandthreatentoputyouinthegripofasevere
temptationtodespair.Thisis,infact,averydifficulttrialof
faithbutaverycommonone.
Satantakesadvantageofourmentalweakness.Therecan
benodoubtinthat.ButthereisOnewhoisstrongerthan
theEnemy,whowillnotletyoubetemptedbeyondwhat
youcanbear.
Notemptationhasovertakenyouthatisnotcommon
to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be
temptedbeyondyourability,butwiththetemptation
hewillalsoprovidethewayofescape,thatyoumaybe
abletoendureit.(1Corinthians10:13)
Our Lord, who was severely tempted by the Adversary,
knowsyourdeepestfeelings.Hewasnotonlytempted,but
also overcame the devil. And He overcame him, for your
sake.
ResistingtheDevilinIllness
Thedevilandsinwillhavenodominionoveryou,sinceyou
arenotunderlawbutundergrace(Romans6:14).Evenso,
donotwagewarontemptationalone.Dontstrugglewith
theEnemyinyourownstrength,orhewilltemptyoufur
ther.Justsay,Getbehindme,Satan!Foryouarenotsetting
yourmindonthethingsofGod(Mark8:33).Donotlisten.
PetitionGod,asifnovoicesoftemptationwereinyourears.
Iftheystilldrownout thevoiceofyourpetition,cryoutto
God even more. (Luke 22:44) Jesus who wrestled with
Satanwasinanagonyofsweat.Youragonywillneverbeas
greatasHis,butyouneedsimplytocryout:ByyourCross
andsavingblood,goodLord,deliverme.
Remember that Jesus is near, empathizing with you and
strengthening you. Do not dispute with yourself or with
59
Satan.Donotanalyseyourthoughts.Donotsay,Where
didthisideacomefrom?.
Thereisnosafepaththroughtemptation,byjustthinking
aboutit.Simplyshutyourearsandcarryoncryingoutto
God.Thistrialmayreturn,often.Donotimaginethatwhen
thebattleseemswon,itwillnotbeginagain.Butitspower
overyouwillsteadilyweakenifyoutreatitlikethis,untilfi
nallytheEnemywillleaveyou,butonlyforaperiod.Find
ingthatparticularweaknessinyourarmourisprotectedby
thebloodofChrist,hewilllookforsomeothervulnerable
placetoattackyou.
Donottormentyourselfbythinkinghowmuchmoreevil
yourthoughtsarethantheyusedtobe.Thereisnoproof
thatthisisthecase.SatanmadeevilsuggestionstoourLord
andAdiscipleisnotabovehisteacher,buteveryonewhenhe
isfullytrainedwillbelikehisteacher. (Luke6:40) Donot
dwellonit.Inyourweakstate,itwillonlyincreasetheevil
inyourtrial.
Ifyouresistatemptation,instantaneously,itdoesnotbe
comesinbutonlyabittertrialandstruggle.Ifyouthink
aboutittoodeeplyandturnitovertoomuchinyourmind,
morethanyourweaknesswantsyoutodo,youwillturnit
intoasin.Youmustmeetthetrialwiththeonlysafewords
tomeetalltrials:ThistrialisthewillofGod.
EvilDesiresinIllness
Similarly, resist all evil thoughts which come into your
mind.Evilwillcomeintheformof:
60
irritability;
impatience;
discontent;
rebelliousthoughtsagainstGod;
inordinatecravingforsympathy;
fear;
despairatendlesssuffering;
fearofsocialisolation;
Withoutdoubt,theseareverydifficulttrialstobear,espe
cially as in illness they often attract not only little or no
compassion,andevenaggravationfromothers.Thisattitude
stemsnotonlyfromunkindnessandhardnessofheartbut
alsofromignoranceandthoughtlessness.Itissodifficultin
weaknesstoholduptheshieldoffaithagainsttheseflam
ingdartsoftheevilone(Ephesians6:16),theshieldwhich
alonecankeepthemfromenteringthesoul.
Gettingconfusedinwhatyousay
Anothertrialinweaknessisthedifficultyoffindingtheright
words,the wordsyou intended. You know perfectlywhat
word you want to say and then you say another which
meanssomethingcompletelydifferent.
Youasktohavesomethinggiventoyouwhichisdifferent
fromwhatyouwant.Oryousaywhatyoudonotintend
andsodonotgetthethingwhichyouwant.
Thisisverytrying,butitstemsfromphysicalweakness.Do
notbedistressedordepressedbymuddlingyourwords.It
will pass away when you get better or stronger. In the
meantime,seeitasawayofhumblingyou,intellectually.
Insteadofbeingupsetandannoyedatit,justsay,Thisis
Godswill.
TheUnknownandForeignNatureofIllness
Youcannotknowaforeigncountryunlessyouhaveeither
beenthereorreaddescriptionsofit,andtriedtoimagine
theplace.
No one who has not had sickness themselves or has not
carefullywatchedthosewhoaresick,canhaveanyideaof
61
therealstateofillness19.Friendsdonotseeyouafteroneof
theirvisits,whichforthetimeyoumayhavereallyneeded
andenjoyed,butwhichleaveyouquiteexhausted.Forafew
hours,youcandonothing,neitherreadnorthink.Thenper
hapsyoustarttoreadsomethingordosomething,butafter
alittlewhile,exhaustionovertakesyou.
Thisishowyouspendeachday.Everyexertionisfollowed
byperiodsofrest.Yourtimeisnotonlyallbrokenupbut
yourstrengthcanneverbereliedonbecauseyourstrength
variesfromdaytoday.Sometimesthewholedayisspentin
astatebarelyremovedfromunconsciousness,ifthatmeans
beinghalfabletounderstandwhatishappening,because
youaredeeplyconsciousofawearytirednessandaninner
exhaustionwhichisquiteunutterable.
Or,yourtimemaybespentinmerelybearingpain,taking
treatment,andtheninrestingafterwards.Youmayfeelfe
verishorrestless:yourneedandtreatmentistorestcom
pletely,tolieperfectlystill,withoutmovingordoingany
thing.Orsomeparticularpainormentalsufferingmaybe
increasedby every single activity and you are doomed to
totalboredomformostoftheday.Ontopofthis,yourlifeis
sodependentonothers.
Peoplewhoarewell,iftheywantorneedtobealone,can
gooutforawalkorgointoanotherroombutyoucannot.
Whereyouare,youhavetoremain.Youmustputupwith
whoever comes in and stays for as long as they like.
Howeverunwillingyouaretobeinterruptedinwhatyou
areconcentratingondoing,youmustreceiveitasdiscip
lineandnotdiscourageyourvisitor,incasenexttimeheor
shewillfeelthathewasinyourwayandnotcomeatall.
Thisbeingatthemercyofothersandyourinabilitytoshut
Thisisalsowhydirectexperienceofsufferingoftenmakesusinto
'brokenhealers',morecompetentinunderstandingandcomfortingoth
ers:[God]whocomfortsusinallouraffliction,sothatwemaybeableto
comfortthosewhoareinanyaffliction,withthecomfortwithwhichwe
ourselvesarecomfortedbyGod(2Corinthians1:4).
19
62
anyoneoutoreventolockthedoor,isaconstanttrialtothe
sick.
Youmayhavemuchtoomuchsparetime,buttheenergyto
use it constructively is rarely given to you. Even when it
seemstobe,orwhenbysheerwillpower,youtrytopush
yourselfbeyondyourweakness,thenyou alone know the
sufferingitcauses.Youknowthepainfuleffortatthetime
andtheextremedistresswhichfollows.Thereistheextreme
discouragementofrelapsingandthesenseofannihilationof
mind.Thelifeofyourbodyseemstoconsistofmisery,help
lessnessandsuffering.Everynervefibreseemsonedgeand
everynerveending iscallingouttoyouinavoiceofan
guish.
Youhearabellring,afootsteponthestairsoraknockat
thedoorandyoudesperatelyhopethatnooneiscoming
nearyoutomakedemandsinyourextremeweakness.You
feelthatyoucouldberudetoanyonewhotalkstoyou.You
havejusttimetocryout:Lord,helpme!Begracioustome,
OLORD,forIamlanguishing;healme,OLord,formybones
aretroubled(Psalms6:2)whensomeoneentersyourroom.
Well,dont fearwhatfeelslikeintrusion.Carryonsaying
thosewordsinyourownheart.Godwillhelpyouandyou
willneverbeputtoshame(1Peter2:6).
Yourvisitorleavesyou.Yourealisethatyouhave,thanksto
God, been enabled to avoid expressing your suffering,
thoughyouthinkthatyourtoneormannershowedit.You
feel that even if you managed to avoid saying anything
whichmightbesinful,sinwasinyourheart.
Thenyoufeelcrushedanddepressedbecauseyouknowthat
secretly, irritability and impatience were present. The
nervousirritability,unutterableinitsextent,causesyoua
continualandbitterconflictinsideinordertoholditdown,
eventoavoiditshowingoutwardly.BestillbeforetheLORD
andwaitpatientlyforhim;fretnotyourselfovertheonewho
prospersinhisway,overthemanwhocarriesoutevildevices
63
(Psalms37:7)istheonlythingforyoutodoinsuchtesting
circumstances.
Oneweek,youmaygreatlydreadhearingthesoundoffoot
stepsorsomeonecallingyou.Then,nextweek,yourtrialis
thatyouhavebeenlyingalonefortoolong.Youfeelyou
havereactivedepression.YoufeelIhavebeenforgottenlike
onewhoisdead;Ihavebecomelikeabrokenvessel(Psalms
31:12).
Youmayhavebeenthinkingofyourlonelinessandofyour
chronic condition asyou suppose it tobe. You may have
beenawareofyourinabilitytodothemanythingsthatyou
longedtodo.Youmaydreadthefuturewhichseemsdark,
emptyandfullofboredom.Youmaymissfriendswhohave
passed into Eternity, who have understood you and who
wouldhavesympathizedwithyou.
Nowyouareleftaloneandwithoutcomfort.Thenyouima
ginethatyouareaburdenandatroubletoeveryone,aper
sonwithoutmeaning,exceptforthetroubleyougivethem.
Yougoon,perhaps,tothinkthattheydonotloveyou.You
feelisolated,depressedandlonely,andask, OLord,how
long?(Psalms6:3).
Then, someonevisitsor calls you. Maybe it is one ofthe
familywhojustlookedintosaysomekindwordortobring
you a book to interest you. Or you receive an interesting
communication, book orletter, or a flower, or a message
fromsomefriend.Maybe,itisonlyanoftenunvaluedmes
sageoflove:Soandsosendsherlovetoyou,butitis
enough.Thewholetenorofyourthoughtschangesandyou
seehowunfairlyyouhaveaccusedyourfamilyandfriends
ofindifferenceandseethattheisolationandlackoflove
wasinyou,notinthem.Inthisway,youfeelcheeredand
replenished as you carry on, refreshed. Sometimes even
someonecomingintotheroomonsomeerrandwillbesuffi
cienttodivertyourthoughtsintoafreshchannel.
64
Ifyourfriendscouldreallyreadyourthoughtsandseethe
changeinthem,whatanefforttheywouldmaketogiveyou
messages, however trifling, to let you know you are re
memberedandstillkeptintheunityoftheChurch(Service
fortheVisitationoftheSick).
Howmuchtheywanttobringyoulittlegiftsoftimeand
pleasure.Theywouldfeel,too,thatwhentheyvisityou,
they shouldbeinteresting in theirconversation generally,
because you need to have the current of your thoughts
changedandstimulatedandbecauseyouhavesopainfula
senseofweakness,that,apartfromtheefforttorouseyour
self,youfeelyoucanofferthemnothing.
NeverforgetthatJesusknowsallaboutyourweakness.For
heknowsourframe;heremembersthatwearedust(Psalms
103:14).
Beconfidentthatwhenyoupray,Begracioustome,OLord,
for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are
troubled(Psalms6:2),youwillalwaysbeheard.Youcanbe
surethatalthoughAsforme,Iampoorandneedy,butthe
Lordtakesthoughtforme.Youaremyhelpandmydeliverer;
donotdelay,OmyGod!(Psalms40:17).
2.3LossofthePowersoftheMind
TheChurchhasclassedage,weakness,andsicknesstogeth
er(ServicefortheVisitationoftheSick)sincethesetrials
areinmanyrespects,thesame.
Inmanyways,thebeautifuldescriptionofageinEcclesiast
esChapter12appliestoyourstate20.Theyearshavealready
come(theynolongercoming)whenyousay,Ihaveno
Thispassagetalksaboutoldage,aboutthekeepersofthehousetrem
bling,doorstoastreetbeingclosed,thesoundofworkfadingandsongs
growingfaint.Oldpeoplebecomeafraidofheightsandofdangersinthe
street.Itisatimewhendesireisnolongeraroused.PriscillaMaurice
comparesthisstatewithillness.
20
65
pleasureinthem.Thesunandthelightandthemoonand
the stars have grown dark for you. They have lost their
brightness. The clouds return after the rain. They gather
againwhentheyseemtohavedispersedand,asyet,you
seenotthebrightlight,thesun,thatthereisintheskyafter
thewindhasswepttheskiesclean(Job37:21).Thekeepers
of the house tremble and the strong men stoop. Those
looking through the windows grow dim. Likewise, your
mindandjudgementhavestrangelyaged:theyarestrangely
weakened.
Inhealth,youalmostusedtoprideyourselfontherapidity
withwhichyoucametodecisions.Now,itisonlyslowlyand
unwillinglythatyoucantakedecisions.Onemomentthede
cisionismadeandthenext,ahostoffearsoverturnit,orat
leastshakeyourconfidence.You,whousedtodespiseask
ingforhelp,ineventheslightestthingsor eveningreat
things,nowturntootherstoaskforhelp,orrathertode
cide,insteadofyourself.Theydontseeorseemtosee,the
doubtsinyourmindandalltheimplications.Youaredissat
isfiedwiththeirdecision:itwillnotdo.Soyoumustdecide
foryourself,deeplyawarethatyourownvisionisdisturbed
anddarkened,andthatyouhavelostconfidenceinbalan
cingthings.
Then,afteryoumakeadecision,misgivingsfollow.Perhaps
Iwaswrong?Wouldithavebeenbettertohavedecidedthis
orthat?Isittoolatetochangeyourmind?Then,maybe,
youfinditis.
Donot letitworryyou: ourfirstthoughtsareoftenthe
truestandwisestandwhenweindulgeinsecondthoughts
weoftenmakemistakesandreturntotheinitialones.The
truthisthatyourjudgementissimplynottobetrustednow.
Itisaffectedbythegeneralweaknessofyourbody.Becon
fident,however,thatifyoucommititandyourselftothe
Lordofhosts,whojudgesrighteously(Jeremiah11:20).He
66
leadsthehumbleinwhatisright,andteachesthehumblehis
way(Psalms25:9).
Ifyoutrusthimtodecide,youwillnotgowrong.Theless
youcomplainaboutit,thebetter.Thosewhoareillarethe
mostdeeplyconsciousoftheirownfailureofmentalpower,
oftheunreliabilityoftheirjudgementandperceptionand
indeed,theyaretheverypeoplewhomakethebestcounsel
lorsandmakethewisestdecisions.Thisisbecausetheygo
outside themselves and their own powers and rely for
everything on the Wonderful Counsellor (Isaiah 9:6),
speakinghiswords(usingScripture)ratherthantheirown.
Itseemsthataheavenlyinstinctisgiventothesick:The
friendshipoftheLordisforthosewhofearhim,andhemakes
knowntothemhiscovenant(Psalms25:14).
GriefoverMentalLossesinIllness
Do not mourn the loss of anything now lost which was
merelyyourowncapacity,orwhichyouusedtothinkwas
yours.Godhadprovidedsomethingbetterforus,thatapart
fromustheyshouldnotbemadeperfect (Hebrews11:40).
Thissomethingisfullnessofgrace.SothankGodinadvance
forhisgiftsandhewillgivethemtoyourichly.
LossofMemory
Whatwehavesaidaboutjudgementcanalsobesaidabout
memory,inillness.Donotthinkyourtrialpeculiartoyour
selfaloneifyoufindthatyouhavelostyourmemory.
Memorylossisoneofthemostlikelyaccompanimentsof
weakness.Memorydependsmainlyonthestateofhealth.It
willprobablygraduallyreturnandregainitspower,ifyou
recoveryourphysicalstrength.Memoryvariestoo,evenin
weakness,fromdaytoday,oftenbeingmerelyrelatedtothe
stateofthestomachornerves.Itfailsindifferentwaysand
degreesindifferentindividuals:
67
somewilllosethepowerrememberthelittlethings
of everyday life; their minds will be tormented if
anyoneasksthemtorememberanything,orexpects
themtoremindsomeoneelseaboutit.
otherswillloseallmemoryofnamesordates.
otherswillhaveaexactnessofmemoryaboutdates
andnamesandyetwillbefrustratedifothersdonot
rememberthingsaswellastheydo,andasminutely,
orinthesamewayastheydo.
others, cannot recall anything that they read,

howeverdeeplyitintereststhem.
to some, remembering a fact in history, or life,

howeverwellknowninthepast,isanimpossibility.
otherswillloseallverbalmemoryandcanscarcely
evenrepeatwordsaftersomeoneelsehassaidthem.
some may have stores of poetry in their minds,

whichnowtheycannotaccessorlayholdof.
Insomecases,therewillbemanyofthesetypesofmemory
lossoccurringtogetheratthesametime.Somepeopleare
especially tested by an inability to repeat, or remember
wordsofScripturecorrectly,orto recallhymns or creeds
withwhichtheywereveryfamiliar.Sometimestheycannot
finishTheLordsPrayer,oreventhe23rdPsalm.Thislossis
verydepressingatfirstandthemoresobecausewearenot
unaware of Satans schemes (96), that Satan may try to
persuadethesuffererthatthisprovesthatheorshedoesnot
valuethewordsofScriptureanymore.
Theremediesforthistrialofmemoryare:
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Do not burden your memory at all, but write

everything down. Do this with all little tasks and
with messages. Never try to remember them, but
keep your mind free and unfettered for better
thoughts.
Neverstrainthememory,orovertaxit.Becontent
now to remember one text, instead of many sen
tences.
TryandlearnsomelittleversefromtheScriptures,
or poetry, each day, just enough to keep the
memoryalittleexercised.
Donotthinkaboutlossofmemory.Trytoactand
speak as you used to do, without prefacing your
words or thoughts with how you have lost your
memory.
Whenitisworst,donotworryyourselfbygrieving
over it as this will increase the evil effects of the
memoryloss.
Rememberalwayswhohassentyouthistrial.God
knowsthatitbelongstoyourweaknessandhowtry
ing it is. He judges you with justice and does not
thinkthatyoulovetheBibleless,becauseyoucan
notrecallitcorrectlyandhaveforgottenmuchofit.
Allthisisveryhumblingbecauseyoucannotappearasyou
mightliketo,infrontofyourfriends.Youcannotenterinto
conversationwiththesamepleasuretoyourself,ortooth
ers.Youfeelthatyouareashadoworwreckofyourformer
self.
AllthisGodsees,knowsandfeels.ButHeseesthatthistrial
isnecessaryorHewouldnothavesentit.HewillfulfilHis
promisethatthe Counsellor,theHolySpiritwillteachyou
allthingsandremindyouofeverythingIhavesaidtoyou21.
Besurethatnothingwillbelost.Whateveryouneed...for
teaching,forreproof,forcorrectionandfortraininginright
eousness,thatthemanofGodmaybecompetent,equippedfor
John14:26.PriscillaMauriceslightlymisappliesthistext.Theoriginal
wasaddressedbyJesustoHisdisciples,assuringthemthattheywouldre
callwhatHehassaidtothem.ThereisnoreferenceintheBiblicaltext
thatthisappliestosufferersinillness.
21
69
every good work (2 Timothy 3:1617) can be brought to

yourmindandtaughttoyou.
Often, those who feel most that their memory is failing,
seem to learn most freshly and most vividly truths which
theyperhapsknewbefore, buthaveforgotten. Nowthese
truthsstrikethemafreshwithnewdepthandwithamean
ingneverperceivedbefore.
Insuffering,God,Himself,isteachingthem.Sometimesin
deed, a truth will come back withsuch a startling clarity
thatwethinkwecanneverforgetit.Yetjustanhourlater
wecannotevenrememberwhatthesubjectofitwas!We
make efforts to pursue and recapture the thought but in
vain.Ithasnotreallygone.Ithasonlysunkintoourhearts,
becomeapartofourselves,andlaidupsafelybyHimwho
broughtittous.Heknowswhereitisandwhentodirectus
toit,whenweneeditagain.Letuscommitthekeepingof
ourmemories,likeoursoulstoHimafaithfulCreator (1
Peter4:19).Whenthesadthoughtoflossofonesmemory
returns, say It is the will of God. This alone can silence
yourcomplaint.
InabilitytoTalk
Youmayhavedifficultyinholdingaconversation.Youfeel
eitherthatyouhaveknowledgethatwouldnotinterestoth
ersorelsethatfromillnessandloneliness,youhavelostthe
powertothink,talkandunderstand.Youimaginethatyou
cannotinterestothersorwilllookunintelligentthroughthe
feeblenessofyourmind,whichyouknow isashadowof
whatitoncewas.
Whenyouhearnewissuesdiscussed,youfeel,Thisisquite
beyondme.HowIusedtojoininwithlivelyinterest!Iused
tograspandunderstandideas,butnowitallseemsinafor
eignlanguagewhichIcannotunderstand.Icantfollowthe
wordsandconceptsatall.Ishallmakestrangestupidmis
takesifIjoininandifanyoneasksmetosummarisewhat
70
hasbeensaid,Iwouldhardlyknow.YetIusedtobesofa
miliarwiththissubject.
Thisisapeculiarlydistressingfeeling.Themoreyoufocus
onit,thestrongerthesenseofinadequacybecomes.Finally,
you startthinking you cannot evenunderstandadultsen
tenceandthoughtsandthatchildren'sliteratureisallthat
remainsforyou.
Whynottellyourfriendsthatyoucannotunderstandthem,
but not in a complaining, fretful tone. Let them carry on
normallyandyouwillgleansomething,ifyouarepatient.
Donotinwardlytortureyourselfbecauseyoucannotcope
withthesupposedhumiliation.
Thebestthingtodowhenthesethoughtsstartupagainisto
say toyourself, Well,whatcanI do about it?I will just
have to listen, join in the conversation whenever I can.
SomeideasIcanunderstand.TherestIcannotfollowatall
becausemymindissoweak.Whohastakenyourpowerof
understandingaway?Incomplainingandselftorment,who
areyourebellingagainst?ItisGodwhohaspermittedit.
Thesameappliestoreadingaloud.Ifyouareaskedbya
friendifyouwouldliketohearareading,youcananswer
accordingtoyourpreferencesandability.Butifyouarewell
enoughtojoininwiththefamilyandtheyarereadingsome
book,donotaskthemtochangeit,ornottoread,merely
becameyouhavethisfeelingofaninabilitytounderstandor
because a continuous voice annoys you and prevents you
stayingfocused(whichtosomeofthesickisalwaysthecase
withreadingaloud).
Enterwithcheerfulnessandwillingnessintotheirpleasure
andtellyourpainonlytoHimwhoseesyourheart.Then
youwillsurelyhavegainedbyityourself,inpatience,hu
milityandcharity.Takeeveryopportunityoftryingtoover
comethegreatdifficultywhichyoufeelintakinganinterest
inotherpeople'sconcernsandinthethingswhichinterest
71
them.Itisatrialcommontosicknessbutshouldbeearn
estlyresisted,andmaybewonderfullyovercome.
2.4TheNearnessofLife
When,atfirst,thesenseofbeingsoclosetolifeandyetitis
outofreachcomesuponyou,itisaveryhardtest.Thesick
personvainlyhopestobecomeusedtoit,butdonotbede
ceived:thisfeelingwillneverdiminishitspoweroveryou.
One day you imagine that you have got used toit. Then
somelittlethinghappenswhichrevealthewholesadtruth
andyoumayfindyourselfjustwhereyouwere.Yousay,
Thereisonlyonestepbetweenmeandlife.Butthatstep!
Howcanitbetaken?
A few feet may separate you from your family. You hear
theirvoicesandlaughter.Attimesyoucatchtheirwords.
Thenfamilyprayersbegin.Onceyoudidnotvaluethembut
now,howgladlyyouwouldhearthem.Butthosefewfeet
shutoutallbuttheoccasionalsoundofaword.
Someoneelsevisitsthefamily,justasyoubegintoimagine
thatyouarereconciledtoyourcircumstances.Thispersonis
moretoyouthantothemandthetoneoftheirvoiceas
cends,butthatisall.Perhapsyouwillnotevenmeetthem.
Atanyrate,youwillforfeittheircompany.
Or, perhaps, for a time you have moved to the house of
somefriendandyoulongverymuchtoshareinalltheir
activitiesandpleasures.Youfaintly,dimlyhearwhatisgo
ingon,butyouareshutofffromthesightandenjoymentof
theirlife.Youshareitonlyduringtheiroccasional,perhaps
rare,visits.
Youhaveanewlessontolearnasthereisnothingthatsoef
fectivelytemptsandtestsasickperson.Thisisthistrial:to
seemtobeseparatedfromourcompanionstendstoleadus
intomostuntrueandhardthoughtsaboutthem.Whenyou
hearabellringtocallthefamilytogetherforameal,you
72
longtobethereatthetableandyouthinkhowmuchyou
aredeprivedoftheircompany.Youthinkabouthowmuch
youwouldlovetobewiththem,howmuchnewsandcon
versationyouaremissing,howmanythingsyoushouldlike
tohearandtoaskandtosay!
Bearitalwaysinmindthatyouarenow,bythewillofGod,
broughtintoadifferentstatefromthem,differentfromyour
formerstate;thatyouarecalledtonewdutiesandrespons
ibilities, comforts, blessings, trials and temptations. And
whocalledyou?ItisGod.
2.5Longings
Many desires for that which you do not have, or cannot
have,oftencomeintoyourmindandsometimestheyseem
verypainful.Yousensethatthesedesiresarewrongandres
istthem.Butthen,atanothertime,youfeelasiftheyought
tobefulfilledforyou,asifyourfriendsshouldtrytogive
themtoyou.Youthinkthattheymustknowyouwantthem,
that they must realize how great a pleasure this or that
wouldbetoyou.
Ask yourself, Is this reasonable? To give an example: if
you are unable to move, the longing for the relief which
wouldgiventoyoubycrossingtheroomtheysurelycannot
beexpectedtounderstand?Theycanmovewhenever,and
asfreelytheywantto,scarcelyseemingtowillit.
Fullytounderstandthis,onemusthavespentmanyweary
monthsinthesameposition.Itisnotloveofchangethat
causesthedesiretomove.Itisthepeculiarreliefproduced
byit.Theverymovementthroughtheairseemstochange
thethoughtsandthrowoffsomesadfeelingswhicharevery
hard to shake off when circumstances are unchanged be
causetheyseemtosettledownandfastenupontheweak
bodyandtopressupontheweakenedmind. Forthecor
ruptiblebodyisaloaduponthesoulandtheearthlyhabita
73
tion presses down the mind that muses upon many things
(Wisdom9:15).
Youseelifeasoneshutinbyfourwalls,eachwallhavingits
own peculiar pictures on it. Do not expect those whose
handshaveneverpaintedthem,toseethem?Neitherthe
pictures,northeirblackframeswillbevisibletotheireyes.
Donotexpectitthisperceptionfromotherpeople:accept
thatitisunreasonable.
Thebrightlightsofnaturewillperhapsneverbrightenthose
framedpicturesforyou.ButthereisabrighterLightthat
can illuminate them everything and change them all into
pleasantpictures.
Donotcondemnyourfriendsasselfishiftheycannotunder
standyourprofoundandirrepressiblelongingtoseeallthe
thingsinwhichyouhavesointenselydelighted.Youmaybe
burningwithawastingdesirejusttoseeafield,towander
deepinawood,orevenunderafewtrees,inawheatfield,
acrossameadow withcattle grazing,ortoseeariveror
flowersgrowing.
Youmayrepressthelongingtoalloutwardobservers.You
may never express it and there may even be a sense of
mournfulsubmissionaboutit,asensethatnotseeingitis
"allright".Andyet,attimes,thepainoflongingmaybein
tense.Itmaysuddenlyseizeyouanditseemsasifyouhad
nostrengthtograpplewithit.Youfeelyoumustseethese
things,whateverhappens.Youthinkyoucanconcentrateon
nothing,untilyourdesireisgranted.
Youmentionittoafriend.Itistreatedatfirst,perhaps,as
merenonsenseandyouarecountedveryfoolishforwishing
forimpossibilitiesandnotsubmissiveenoughtoGod'swill
fordesiringanythingyoucannothave.Yousayinyourheart
(and thank God if you do not say any reproachful words
aloud),Howselfishitisofthosewhohavealltheseenjoy
mentsnotintheleasttoenterintomydesires,andonlyto
throwthembackonme!
74
You turninwardintoyourselfandnolonger speak about

yourlongings.Buttheretheyare.Theyburnandwellnigh
consumeyou.Noonewhohasnotexperiencedthis,canex
plainthetrialofthesedesiresorthesuddenwayinwhich
theywillcomeuponasickperson.Onemomentonemay
thinkthatthatoneisquiteusedtoone'slot;thenext,ade
siremayshootacrosstheheartwhichmayshow howfar
thisisfrombeingattained.
Yetdonotbediscouraged.Theseareonlytemptationsand
ifrightlytreated,theymayneverpassintosin,butrather,
gradually,strengthenyoursubmission.Onlydonotexpect
thosewhohaveneverexperiencedsuchatesttounderstand
it.Peoplegenerallyimaginethatifapersonisconfinedfor
yearstobed,allthesetrialsmustbeovercomeandbelongto
anearlystageofillness.Butthisisnottrue.Aftertenyears
ormoreofsuchconfinement,aftereventhesuffererhimself
haslookeduponsuchinternalconflictasended,theflame
maysuddenlyandcausegreatdistress.
Theselongingscomeinvariouswaysandeachseasonbrings
itsownpeculiartemptations.Perhapsthegreatesttimeof
trial is the spring. As each spring returns, the same fight
seemstoneedtobefoughtalloveragain.Thetreesbeginto
budandthealmondtreeblossomsandtosomesickpeople
itbringsmorehopeandpleasurethananyotherblossomof
theyear.Thetreesarebursting,andhereamIstillinmy
bed.Nochangeinmeexceptthatofincreasedsuffering,
weaknessandweariness.
Theairisgettingfresherandmorefree:Theflowersappear
ontheearth,thetimeofsinginghascome,andthevoiceofthe
turtledoveisheardinourland(Songofsongs2:12).Their
voices are very joyous, but I can scarcely think obvious.
Theyseemtotellhowfreeandblithetheyareandcanfly
whithertheywill,butIam:aprisonerandacaptive.
Otherpeoplecangooutintothefreshairandtheycomein
and enjoy saying how tired they are. Oh! How much I
75
shouldenjoyeverythingifIcouldgoout. Thetreesput
forththeirleaves,andyouknowthatsummerisnear(Mat
thew24:32).Eachdaythepoor,sickpersongrowsatfirst
moreandmoreexcited,andthenfinally,moreandmorede
pressed. It is this season in which I must go out, they
think.AutumnwillcomesoonandIcannotgooutthen.It
willbetoochillyanddampandthetreeswillbelosingtheir
summerbrightness.Havemercyonme,havemercyonme,O
youmyfriends,forthehandofGodhastouchedme! (Job
19:21)Letmegooutnow.Therearefewsickandsuffering
peoplewhohavenotknowntheagonyofsuchdesires.
Doesitseemtoyouthatitisinthechoiceandabilityof
yourfriendstograntyourdesires?Itmightstrainyourbody,
butitwouldrefreshyourspiritandenableyoutocarryon,
on your weary way, rejoicing. These thoughts are bitter
dropsinyourcupofsorrow.Thereisnoharminyoursay
ing, MyFather,ifitbepossible,letthiscuppassfromme;
nevertheless,notasIwill,butasyouwill.(Matthew26:39).
HecantakeitawayandHewillifHeseesthatitwillbe
goodforyou.Butifyoufindthatthecupisstillheldtoyour
lips, then drink it and learn to say, Thy will be done.
Withoutthissubmission,youneverwillbecontented.
Donotimaginethatbecausethisspringyouhavebeenonly
alittletempted,thatitisasuresignofincreasedsubmission
andthatyouwillneverbetemptedagain.Thefirstsnow
drop,thefirstbud,maytemptyouagain.Oryoumaypass
safely through spring and summer, and then a desperate
longingtoseetheharvesttimemayfillyou.
Theremaybenoharvestfieldwithinreach.Youfeeleach
daythatyourdesireisunsatisfied,thefulfilmentofwhich
wouldhavegivenyouastartbackintolifeandhealth.
Youmayfeelatanytimeoftheyearthatifyoucouldonly
betakentotheseaside,youwouldgetwell.Goingtothe
sea,maybeimpossible.Circumstancesmaymakeitsoor
yourdoctormayforbidit.
76
LiestillthenandrememberthatthereisaFriendtowhom
thesecretsofallheartsareopened,andfromwhomnodesire
ishidden22.Heseesyourdesire.Hewillfulfilit,ifitisfor
yourrealgood,forHeistherulerandgovernor.Hisnever
failingProvidenceordersallthings,inheavenandearth.
AskGodtotakeawayfromyouallhurtfulthings,whether
theyarethoughts,desiresorimpulses,andtogiveyouthose
thingswhichareforyourgood.Hewillsurelydothisfor
yousinceHeistheLordofallpowerandmight23.Onlydo
notexpectHimtofulfilyourdesiresinpreciselythewayyou
thinkwouldbebest.LeaveitalltoHimwhosays,Bestill,
andknowthatIamGod(Psalms46:10).
2.6Circumstances
Do not seek to choose or to change your circumstances.
Theyarethebest,theverybestforyou.TheonlywiseGod
(1Timothy1:17AV)haschosenthemforyouintruelove.
For "YouhaveseenthepurposeoftheLord,howtheLordis
compassionateand merciful (James5:11).Donotseekto
changethecharactersofthoseaboutyoubecauseyouare
setinthemidstofthemforyourdisciplineandcorrection.
Itisnotbyaccidentthattheseparticularpeoplearebrought
intocontactwithyou.YourFatherplacedthemthere.Their
foibles,deficienciesandmistakesareallfor yourspiritual
growth. They aremeant tosupply the discipline which is
gainedwhilemovinginsociety,bythoseinhealth.Manyof
thethingswhichtestusaremeantbyHimkindly.Atany
ratetrytobelievethisandreceiveeachthingaskindness,
unlessthereisplainprooftothecontrary.
IsitthewillofyourheavenlyFatherthatyoushouldbeshut
upinatownwhenyourwholeheartrevelsincountryenjoy
22
fromTheBookofCommonPrayer1662
23
fromaCollect.
77
ments?Doesthefeelingofthedeprivationseemtodeepen
eachday,insteadofmakingyoubecomeusedtoit?
Areyoutemptedtolookuponitaswhollystoppingyourre
covery?Doestheendlessnoiseseemtostirupalltheimpa
tience and restlessness in you? Does it seem to come
betweenyourverysoulandGod?
Doyoureyesrestforeveronthesamedark,deadhouses?
Doyoulongtoseegreentreesandfieldsoncemore?Does
yourheartlongforstillnessandfeel,mournfully,thatthese
blessingsaretoofaraway?
Butaskyourselfwhoplacedyouinthiscityortown.Doyou
answer Circumstances? But who rules circumstances?
Whocould,inonehour,ordainyourlottobeinthecoun
trysideandletitcontinuethere?
Godplacedyouinthiscity,ortown.Godknowsallyourcir
cumstances,forHeplacedyouinthem.Heseestheminthe
minutestdetail.HepitiesyoumosttenderlywithHisgreat
andendlesspitybutHewillnotspareforthecrying(Pro
verbs19:18AV)ofthechild.
Ifanyotherlotinlifewereequallygoodforyou;ifanyoth
erdisciplinewouldhavetaughtyouasmuchoftheevilin
yourownheartoroftheLoveofGod,beassuredthatHe
wouldhavegivenyouthelighter,andkeptbacktheheav
ier.
Donotdisputewiththetempter.Donotlethimpersuade
you that these are 'bad' circumstances, unsuited to you.
Replyimmediatelyandatonce, Getbehindme,Satan!For
youarenotsettingyourmindonthethingsofGod,butonthe
thingsofman(Mark8:33).
Say:Godplacedmehere.ItisthewillofGodandGodis
Love(1John4:8).lknowthatthisistheverybestplace
formeforIwasplacedherebytheonlywiseGod.Thereis
nootheranswertoallthesequestionings,temptations,and
suggestions.Thesameanswerwillserveforeverylotinlife,
78
foreverytrial.Towiseheartsthiscertainhopeisgiven:No
mistthatmenmaymakeshallhidetheeyeofHeaven24.
Alwaystrytojudgeyourfriendsbytheircircumstancesand
notbyyourown.Trytolookatthingsfromtheirpointof
viewandthiswillpreventyoufromthinkingthemunkindor
lackinginsympathy.Donotcallthem'selfish'becausethey
cannotseeintoyourcircumstancesandfeelthepainandtri
althatthereisinthem.
Many things which you would enjoy as a little variety to
yourlifearetoothersmerelyordinarymattersinthegener
alrunofthingsormayevenbeirritations.Inthelattercase,
inkindnesstheymightbetryingtopreventyoufromhaving
anyshareinthem.Intheformer,theyformtoomuchapart
oftheirdailylifeforthemtobeconsciousthatyoudonot
seetheminasimilarmanner.
Amove,perhapsfromyourbedtothesofa,isfor you,a
greatthing.Howcanyouexpectsympathyforit?Ajourney
isamatterofgreatsufferinginprospect,atthetime,andaf
terwards.Buthowcantheyunderstandyourfeelings,those
whocanmovefromplacetoplaceastheywish?
Askyourself,didyouknowhowmuchthesethingstested
thepatienceofothersbeforeyouweresubjectedtothem?
Sohowcanyourfriendsknowaboutyourtrials?Theseare
simplyinstancesofignorance.
Donotthenrefertothemaslackoflove.Friendshavethe
refreshmentofairandexercise,meetingwiththefamilyat
meals,andatothertimes.Theytakethesethings(asyou
did once) as common mercies, things not to be noticed.
Thisisquotationnotattributedintheoriginalbookispossiblyfrom
memory.Itisrememberedfromthepoem,TheCloud'sSilverLining
p155ofTheChristianYearThoughtsinVersebyJohnKeble,pub
lishedbyRivingtons(1827).Itislikelytohavebeenintheauthor'sown
shelf.Itcanbeviewedat
http://www.archive.org/stream/a636224902kebluoft.Theactualverse
shouldread:Nomistthatmenmayraise,canhidetheeyeofHeaven.
24
79
Theydonotsensetherealeffectforgoodwhichtheyare
havinguponthem.
They cannot know, therefore, what the deprivation is to
you,orwhatafightyoumustmaintaininordernottobe
comedepressedandindifferenttoeveryonearound.Neither
can they know those innumerable frustrations which so
greatlydistressyou.Forexampletheinabilitytofollowwhat
peoplearesaying,theefforttosayanything,howeverneces
saryitmaybe,theinabilitytocommunicatewhenyouwant
tospeaktothemandsomanyotherlittleburdensthatmust
beshoulderedwhichcouldbegotridofatoncebyspeaking
ofthemandbyhavingtheadviceandaidofothers.
Perhaps,whenfamilyandfriendsdocome,youhaveforgot
tenwhatyouwantedtosaytothem?Oronceyoubeginto
speak,theyarecalledaway,or remembersomethingthat
theymustdo.Theypromisetoreturnandeitherarestopped
orforgettodoso.You,meanwhile,arewaitinginexpecta
tion,perhapsinimpatience.
Neverforgetthatallyourcircumstances,eventheminutest
details,areinthehandsofGod.Lookatthemonlyinthis
wayandnotoneachcircumstanceasanaccidentwhich
mayberemoved.Receiveitasyourpresentlot,astheex
pressionofthewillofGodtowardsyou.Thenyouwillfind
thatasitisHis'yoke'andbearitinHisnameandforHis
sake.
Sonnet25
Thoucam'stnottothyplacebyaccident,
ItistheveryplaceGodmeantforthee;
ThisSonnetisnotattributedintheoriginalbookbutitisbypoetand
minister,RichardTrench(18071886).HebecameDeanofWestminster
in1856,andlateranAnglicanArchbishop.
25
80
Andshould'stthoutheresmallscopeforaction
see,
Donot,forthis,giveroomfordiscontent.
NorletthetimethouowesttoGodbespent
Inidlydreaminghowthoumightestbe,
Inwhatconcernsthyspirituallife,morefree
Fromoutwardhindrance,orimpediment:
Forpresentlythishindrancethoushaltfind
Thatwithoutwhich,allgoodnesswereatask
Soslight,thatvirtuenevercouldgrowstrong:
AndwouldstthoudoonedutytoHismind,
TheImposer'soverburden'dthoushaltask,
Andownthyneedofgracetohelp,erelong.
2.7WhatEfforttomakeandhowtoachieveself
control
Somethingverydifficult forsickpeopletodecide iswhat
theyoughttodo?WhateffortshouldImake,theyask?
Theydreadthephysicalandspiritualeffectsofoverdoing
things, more than any mere bodily pain. They know that
witheveryfreshexertionexhaustionincreases,thesuffering
ofwhich,nowordscandescribe.Itisnotonlysufferingof
body,butalsosufferingofthesoul.Itisexhaustionhinder
ingyoufromprayeruntiltheinnerspirituallightgrowsdim.
Itisthenervousnesscausingyousuchirritabilitythatyour
dayisspentinstruggleandfear,incaseyoushouldgrieve
yourLordandMaster.
Thenthereistheincapabilitytoundertakecommonduties,
makingyoufearthatyouaresinfullylazyorselfindulgent.
Thereisthenthelackofinnerpeacecomingfromthis;the
81
fearthatotherswillmisunderstandyouandthinkyouare
indeedlazy,whichisgreatsuffering. Youseetheendless
length of your future life of pain and weariness and the
greatnessofyoursins.Youfearthatyourspiritualgrowth
has been only backwards and not forward and you are
burdened by the intense feeling of lack of sympathy, in
thosearoundyou.
Sometimes,yourownlovelessnessactuallytakestheshape
ofdislikingsomeone,whichisoneofthemosttryingofall
theeffectsofexhaustion.Thedeepdepressionandweakness
iseveninfluencingyourvoiceandmakingyouseemunkind,
whenyouarenotunkindatheart.Buttheimpressionthat
youare,oftenactuallyproducesthereality.
These are some of the trials which result from an effort
madeundertheweightofgreatweakness.Thentoo,thereis
that exceeding misery of what may be called the pain of
malaise, when every bone seems out of joint and every
nerveunstrung.
The burden of weakness which you are bearing makes it
seemtoyouthatallcaresandtroublesarefocusedonyou
andthatalllifemustbecarriedinthisverymomentofunut
terableincapacity.Youfeelthatyoushallnevercomeoutof
thisspotlightandthatseems,initself,awearisomeweight.
Toraiseyourself out of thisstate, by yourself, seems im
possibleandtotakeinterestinanythingoranypersonal
most impossible. All you care for is to be left alone, not
spokentoandtobeabletofeelforashorttimethatyou
havenoburdensorresponsibilities,nothingthatyoumust
thinkabout.
Sometimes,however,youareforcedtostruggleon.Thereis
reallynohelpfor,orescapefromit,buteventhen,ifyou
cangetbutonlyaquarterofanhour,oreventenminutes
alone,thebestremedyistolieperfectlystill,onyourback
andyourheadaslittleraisedasyoucancomfortablybear,
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withyourarmsbyyoursidesandyoureyesshut,notthink
ingatall.
Donotmaketheslightesteffort,noteventomoveanarmor
leg ortospeak. Donot try topray. Refuseall thoughts,
pleasantorpainful.Donotencourageanythoughtsthatof
ferthemselvestoyou.Whenyou firstadoptthispractice,
youwillfeelandsay,Icannothelpthinking.Butgoon
trying and you will find that, gradually, you acquire the
habitofnotthinking.Thiswillbecomeaveryvaluabledis
ciplineforyouandwillbethegreatestassistanceinallyour
attemptsatacquiringselfcontrol.
Trythisexerciseseveraltimesaday,accordingtoyourlevel
forstrengthandinsomeofthetimethatyouhavespare.If
possible,neversooverexertyourselfsoastogetintothe
wretchedstatedescribedabove.Butinstead,whenyoube
gintofeelthatitiscomingon,unlessitisquiteimpossible,
liedownandbestill.
Butwait,wehavenotansweredthequestionyet!Whatare
youtodo?Whateffortoughtyoutomakeinanysituation?
Whatrulescanyoufollow?Youfeelthatyourjudgementis
so impaired that you cannot decide how much to do, or
whatisrightforyouandyetthatyouareincontinualfear
ofselfindulgence.
Your friends, in their well intended kindness, leave
everythingtoyoutojudge,astowhatyoucando,whatyou
willdo,andwhatyouwouldliketodo.Butyoualoneknow
howmanythingsyoushouldliketodo,whichyoucannever
hopetodoagain,hereuponearth.
Astowhatyouwilldo,youwishtohavenowill,butonlyto
dothosethingswhicharelawfulandright(Ezekial18:5).
Tobetoldwhattodowouldbeyourgreatestcomfortand
delight.Then,astowhatyoucando,youfeelquiteunable
tosayandwishthatsomeonecouldtellyouthattoo.
83
Inthismatter,youmustmakeagreatallowanceforpeople
aroundyou.Itisinrealkindnessthattheyeitherabstain
frompushingyou,orpushyoubeyondyourpower.Inthe
formersituation,theyfearpushingyoutothepointofpain;
inthelatter,theyfearyouarefallingintoastateofinvalid
ism,whichwouldbeverydistressingtoyou.
Therefore,youmustnotfeelannoyedwiththem,butkeep
inmind theirintendedkindness. Itisquiteimpossible,in
manyinstancesforanyonetosaywhatyouareabletodo.
Therearecertainphysicalconditionsinwhichdoctorscan
say, to some extent what ought to be possible and what
oughtnottobeattempted.Simpleobedienceisallthatisre
quired.Buttherearemanymedicalconditionsinwhichit
mustbelefttothepersonthemselvestodecide.
Perhaps the following suggestions may be of some assist
ance,insuchcases:
1.First,tellyourwholesituationtoyourheavenlyFather
andaskHimtoshowyouwhatHewouldhaveyoudo,tore
vealittoyou,fromdaytoday,hourbyhour.AskHimto
teachyoutowaituponHim,askthatyoumayknowHiswill
andreceivethegracetodoit.
2.Donotmakeplansandruleswhichyoufeelareabove
yourstrength,butinsteaddowhatyoufeelabletodo.If
later,youfindthatyouhaveoverestimatedyourstrength,
thenonlydoapercentageofit.Nevertheless,someplanor
rulewillbeveryhelpfultoyouandlessenyourperplexity.
3.Donotletanyplanbecomeabsolute,buteithermakeit
more flexible, or make it more rigid, according to your
strengthandcircumstances.
4.Beatpeacewithyourself,byconstantprayerandselfex
aminationthatyouarereallydoingwhatyoucanandem
ployingyourpowersasfarastheywillgo,withouttoomuch
strain.
84
5.Whenyouhavedoneallthis,donotbeagitated,worried
ormadeangrybyfriends,orevenbydoctorswhotellyou
thatyouaremerelynervous,orthatyoucoulddomore,if
youtryandthatyougiveintoosoon,oryouareselfindul
gent.Atthesametime,trytodeterminewhethertheremay
notstillbesometruthinwhattheysay.Donotavoidex
amining whether something is true. Bear it as unto the
Lord.Insilence,submityourwillandsayinthistrialtoo,
ItisthewillofGod.
6.Donotexpecttobeabletodoexactlythesameoneday
asanotheranddonotmakeanyundueefforttodoso.Take
thetrialofseemingidlenessasyourlotwhenithastobe;be
thankfulwhenanotherportionofworkisgivenandyou
areabletodoit.
7.Donotexpecttodothingsaswell,orasquickly,oras
pleasantlyasinyourdaysofhealth.Youmustlearnnow,as
neverbeforewhatGodsaystous: Myson,bewareofany
thingbeyondthese.Ofmakingmanybooksthereisnoend
and much study is a weariness of the flesh (Ecclesiastes
12:12).
8.Afteryouhavedonewhatseemedtoyouatthetimethe
right thing, be content. Do not question whether it was
right,orhowfaritwasright,orwhetheryoushouldhave
doneotherwise.
Youwilldowelloccasionally,tomakesomeattempttodo
somethingnew,throughafreshexertion,partly,forthesake
ofprovingthatyouarecapableofdoingmorethanyouhave
beendoing, andpartlytoshowyourfriends thatyou are
wishingtoextendyourstrength,tojoininwiththefamily
andtoemployyourself,asfaraspossible.
Thiswilloftenendinbitterdisappointmentanddiscourage
ment.Youwillfindyourselfsaying,Itriedtostepintolife
againandIcouldnot.IhavesteppedfurtherthanIcouldgo
andIam'destroyed'byweaknessagain.Iseemfurtheroff
85
fromhealththaneverandasifIcouldnotgetevenasfaras
Idid,thenexttimeItry.
Well,thisisadreadfultest!Butatleastitisgoodtohave
triedandlearnedwhatyoucando,andespeciallythatyou
arenotlazyandselfindulgentindoingnomorethanyou
hadpreviouslydone.
Whattheseeffortsaredifferineachcase.Forsome,itmay
beseeingmorefriends;toothers,writingaletter;toothers,
beingdressedandlaidonasofanearthebed;toothers,be
ingtakenoutoftheroom;toothers,sittingupinachair;to
others,goingdownstairs;toothers,takingadrive,awalk,a
journey.Eachisaccordingtothevariousmeasuresofweak
ness,orability.
Acceptitinyourheartthatthekindestoffriendswillrarely
fullyunderstandyourstateandthattheymayseemtodoso
today,andtomorrowmayseemveryobtuseaboutit.There
isonlyOnePersonwhocanfullyunderstanditandwhocan
trulydirectyouwhattodoatalltimes.
Doubtless, you often feel distressed because you are so
deeplyawareofthepainwhicheach'actoflife'costsyou:
or,atanyrate,thepainwhichyousufferfromitandduring
it.ItseemstoyousinfullyungratefultoOnewhoisalways
helpingandupholdingyoutofeelthepainsomuchmore
thanyoufeelHiseverpresentalmightyaid.
Butdonotbediscouraged.Youmustnotcomplainaboutit.
You cannot help feeling the pain and suffering. You can
havea grateful, thankfulheartinspite ofit, andbe very
consciousofHispresenceandhelp.
2.8IrritableNerves
Thatlargeclassofdiseasescalledneurologicaldisordersare
preeminentlyhardtoendure.Thatclassisgreatlyincreased
bythelimitedknowledgethatdoctorshaveofthemindand
86
oftheworkingsofthenervoussystem,andoftherealsuf
feringtheycancause.
Manypeculiarlydistressingfeelings,whichcannotbecalled
'pain' are known by the nameof 'neurological symptoms'.
Therearefewwhowouldnotratherhearthatcertainsymp
toms are owing to anything, however mortal the disease,
thanthattheyarecausedbythenervoussystem.Howthe
worddiesupontheheartorrather,howitdistressesevery
partofthemindwithsuffering.
Onlythenervoussystem?Whatcanbesaidthatismore
hopeless?Whatdoesitmean?Oftenitmeansthatthesymp
tomorpainissimplynotunderstoodandthatthedoctor
can identify no physical cause. Since he must give it a
name,hecallsit'nervous'.
Thestingofitliesinthewordshavingadoublemeaning.
Usedbysome,theyaremeanttoexpressintensesuffering.
Usedbyothers,theymean'figmentsofadiseasedimagina
tion', almost selfimposed suffering. These words, said by
someonewhoreallyfeelsforyoumayberepeatedtoanoth
er person and in the passing between them change their
meaning. Soon you may hear, Why are you lying there?
Whydoyounottrytodothisorthat?Thedoctorsaysthat
yourdiseaseisonlynervous.Whynotbreakthroughitthen
andbelikeotherpeople?
Howoftenareyoutemptedto:
Prayforsharpestthrobsofpain,
Toeaseyoufromdoubt'sgallingchain?26
Alltemptationsseemontheattackandthetemptereverat
hand.Youimaginethatallthewretched,miserablesensa
tionswithinyouareseenbyothers.Thestrangeinconsisten
Thisquotationisunattributedintheoriginalbookbutthelinesare
takenfromapoembyJohnKeblefortheSecondSundayafterChristmas
inTheChristianYear.Seehttp://www.lectionarycentral.com/epi
phany6/Keblepoem.htmlforthefulltext.
26
87
ciesofmentaldistressaresomeofitsbitteresttrials.You
think,atthesametime,thateveryone canseeyourtrials
andfearsandalsothatnooneseesit,nooneknowsit,un
derstands it or cares for it. You think that no one in the
worldsuffersasyoudo,thatyoursufferingsarequitepecu
liar,andtherefore,cannotbeunderstood.
Donotforonemomenttrytodeludeyourselfintothinking
thatthisisnotaveryseveretrial.Donotspeakofitlightly
ormakeitappeartoothersthatyoudonotfeelitdeeply.
Faceitall,lookthistrialfullinthefaceandthensay:Who
sentmethistrial?TheonlywiseGod.WhydidHesend
it?BecauseHesawthatitwasnecessaryforme,perfectly
fittedforallmyneeds,andindeed,theonlythingthatwas.
AndyoushallrememberthewholewaythattheLordyour
Godhasledyouthesefortyyearsinthewilderness,thatHe
might humble you, testing you to know what was in your
heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.
(Deuteronomy8:2).
YoumaywanttoaskHim,MustIbearthisalways,forthe
restofmylife?.Butonlythinkaboutthepresent,whichis
allyouhave.Thereforedonotbeanxiousabouttomorrow,
fortomorrowwillbeanxiousforitself.Sufficientforthedayis
itsowntrouble (Matthew6:34).Youthinkaboutenduring
itandbearingitalone.Well,donot!ItisGod'svisitation.
Heseesyou,and understandsyouandHemadeyou.He
knows what is in you, all your own peculiar feelings,
thoughts,character,likings,strengthandweaknesses.
Heseesyouinyourdayofrejoicingandinyourdayofsor
row.Hesympathizeswithyourhopesandtemptations.Heis
interestedHimselfinallyouranxietiesandremembrances,
inalltherisingsandfallingofyourspirit.Hehasnumbered
theveryhairsofyourheadandthecubitsofyourheight.He
compassesyouroundandbearsyouinHisarms.Hetakes
youupandsetsyoudown.Henotestheexpressiononyour
face,whethersmiling,orintears,whetherhealthyorpale.
88
Helookstenderlyuponyourhandsandfeet.Heseesyour
voiceandhearsthebeatingofyourheartandbreathing.
YoudonotloveyourselfbetterthanHelovesyou.Youcan
notrecoilfrompainmorethanHedislikesyouhavingto
bearit.IfHeputsituponyou,itisasyouwouldputiton
yourselfifyouarewise,foryourgreatergood,afterwards.
Nevermeetthisparticularformofsuffering,nervoussuffer
ing,bypurehumanreasonorinanyotherwaythanbysay
ing,ItisthewillofGod.
Innervoussuffering,thefrequentawarenessofappearingir
ritable,ofknowingthatothersthinkyouare,makesthesuf
feringahundredtimesworse.
Ifyoucouldonlyfeelthatnoonewaswatching,thetrial
wouldbeless.Sometimes,perhaps,someoneremarksonit
toyou.Awordcriticisingyouforitcomeslikeablowtothe
heartandyouwritheandcryoutforpain.Butpeoplesee
onlywhatisoutward.Theyheartheirritabletoneorirrit
ablewordandtheyseetheexpressiononyourface.Theydo
notseetheunutterable,awfulstrugglewhichisevergoing
onunderneathandwhich,bythegraceofGod,isprevent
ing much more evil from coming out. How difficult to
repressalongingforescapeOhthatyouwouldhidemein
Sheol,thatyouwouldconcealmeuntilyourwrathbepast,
that youwouldappointmea settime,andrememberme!
(Job14:13).
Theissueisbeingawareofsinning,whileevenfightingwith
it and resisting it almost to the point of death. It is this
whichissuchagonizingsuffering,theseemingtosinagainst
GodandtofightagainstHim,atthesametime.
Donotstruggleoverit,becauseitincreasessufferingfear
fully.Justliestillandsay, Lord,youknoweverything;you
knowthatIloveyou.(John21:17)orsay,Lord,havemercy
onme;thisisasoretrial,helpmeforHeknowstheheart.
FortheLORDseesnotasmansees:manlooksontheout
89
wardappearance,buttheLordlooksontheheart(1Samuel
16:7)andHeisLove(1John4:8),andTheLordiscompas
sionate and merciful (James 5:12). Surely then, He is
grievedforandwithyou;Heistouchedwithafeelingof
yourinfirmities,Forwedonothaveahighpriestwhoisun
abletosympathizewithourweaknesses,butonewhoinevery
respecthasbeentemptedasweare,yetwithoutsin(Hebrews
4:15).JesusHimselfborenervoussuffering.Howintensely
He must haveentered intothem. Every nerve ofHis was
piercedandwounded,andstretched.
Sayinsteadthen,Saviouroftheworld,whobyYourCross
andpreciousBlood,redeemedus;saveus,andhelpus,we
humblybeseechyou,OLord(ServicefortheVisitationof
theSick).ByYouragonyandbloodysweat;byYourCross
and Passion; by Your precious death and burial; by Your
gloriousResurrectionandAscension;andbythecomingof
theHolySpirit,GoodLord,deliverus(TheLitany).Fear
not,forIamwithyou;benotdismayed,forIamyourGod;I
willstrengthenyou,Iwillhelpyou,Iwillupholdyouwithmy
righteousrighthand(Isaiah41:10).
2.9TakingDrugs27
Itisoftenapointofgreatdifficultyanddistresstothesick
whethertheyarerighttotakeopiates28 (whicharepaink
PriscillaMauricewasprescribedopiatesbyherdoctor.Thiswascom
monpracticebythemedicalprofessioninthe19thcentury,forthetreat
mentofvariousmaladies.Ofcourse,subsequentmedicalpracticerestric
tedtheiruse.Opiatesarerelatedtomorphineandaremostfamiliartous
todayasaddictivesubstances,oftenabused.Someofwhattheauthor
saysaboutdrugsisspecifictothetakingofopiatesbutmuchofwhatshe
sayscanbeappliedtoothermedicaldrugstoday.Toremindusofthis
fact,theeditorshavesometimesinsertedthewords'prescriptiondrugs'in
additionto,orinsteadof'opiates'.
27
Opiatesweretheequivalentofpainkillerstoday.Butunlikepainkillers,
theyareaddictive.
28
90
illers) of any sort. Their doubts generally arise from two

causes:
1.Thefearofacquiringsobadahabit,whichcanscarcely
failtocauseakindofaddiction
2.Questioningswhetheritcanberighttosubduethesense
of pain, when God Himself has sent the pain. For when
ChristHimselfenduredsuchextremesufferingHerefusedto
drink,eveninthemidstofHisagonizingthirst.
Thesereasonsarenotonlyveryplausiblebutcontainmuch
truth.Therecanbenoquestionthattogetintosuchahabit
couldbepotentiallydamaging,andevensinful.Butthispre
supposesthatthereisnonecessityforpainkillers.Ifthere
arenoreasonstotakeopiates,orprescribeddrugs,theyare
simplyanindulgence.
Butifatraineddoctorconsidersthatopiatesarenecessary,
thenthepatienthasnomorerighttorefusetotakeopiates
thanhehastotakeanyothermedicine.Thetakingofany
medicine needlessly and habitually would be a very bad
habittoacquire.Thenatureandmeasureofallmedicines
thatyoutake,shouldberegulatedbyyourdoctorandwe
shouldtakeallthesethingspassivelyfromthemedicalpro
fession,lookingtoitsrepresentativesasaservantofGod,
sentbyHimtorelieveus.Ifwefindadrugmakeusdreamy
anddrowsy,weshouldmentionittothedoctor.Ifhesays
thatthereisnoothercourseofaction,thatthisthiswillbe
itseffectonusandalsothatthisremedyisnecessary,then
weareboundtosubmitourwilltohisandtakethemedi
cine.Wemustbearthetrialaspartofthenecessarydiscip
line.
But the patient must exactly learn the quantity of a pre
scribeddrugthatheorsheistotake,andstrictlytokeepto
it, neither diminishing it or increasing it (if it produces
pleasanteffectsasinthecaseofopiates).Thepatientshould
takeit always, simplyasa matterofobedience. It is cer
tainlytruethatGodsendspaintous,butthesameargu
91
ment,whichwouldpreventusfromtakingdrugsthatmake
usdrowsy,wouldapplytoallremediesandwewouldrefuse
totryanyofthemincasetheyalleviateoursuffering.
ThereistheargumentthatourLordrefusedallalleviations
ofHispainbutthisdoesnotholdgood.Hedrankthewhole
cupofsufferingthatHemightknowitall,andunderstandit
all,tobeabletosympathisewithus.Herefusedeveryallevi
ationofpainsothatHemightnotescapefromtastingone
dropofthatwhichanyofHisservantsmightafterwardsbe
calledtodrink.
2.10LongingforFood
Attimesyoumaybeverymuchtemptedbylongingsforcer
tainkindsoffood.Youmayhaveyearningsforsomefood
andifitcannotbeobtained,nothingelsewilldo.Athome,
orin astrangeplace,youmaywantsomethingserved in
someparticularway.Yourdesiresareignoredormisunder
stoodandyoueitherrefusetoeat,ordosowithlackofrel
ishordisgust,andwithaverydiscontentedmind.
Youmaycomplainofthecook'sobtuseness,becomeangry
withhim orherand perhaps complain about the food to
otherpeople.Oryoumaywishforthisfoodatacertaintime
ofdayandyoumaybekeptwaitingandthenloseyourde
sirefor,oryourwilltoeatit.Orwhenfood,howevercare
fullypreparedisbrought,youmayhavesetyourmindon
somethingelse andeitherfeelthoroughlydiscontentedor
loathethefoodaltogether.
Oryoumaywantfirstonethingtoeatandthenanother,
untilthosetryingtocareforyouandyourfriendsfindyou
sohardtopleasethattheyareatalosshowtomeetyour
wishes.Oryoumaywantsomethingwhichyouknowisout
of season or is very expensive. A sudden longing over
whelmsyouthatyoumusthaveitandyouarerestlessuntil
itisbought.
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Allthesetrialsaremosttryingandhumiliating.Theyremind
one of the corruptible body (Wisdom 9:15), our lowly
body (Philippians3:21).Theyaretrialstowhichthebest
disciplinedmindsandthemostselfdenyingpeoplearesub
jectbuttheyarecertainlynotassharpasforthosewhohave
alwaysindulgedtheirappetitesandhavenevermadeany
attempttocurbtheirdesires.
Tomanypatients,itisreallyimportantwhattheyeatbe
causeitreallyexacerbatestheirillnesstoeatcertainthings.
Theyfindoutquicklywhathelpstheirconditionandeating
it becomes a habit in theirlives which they scarcely ever
needtothinkabout.Ofcourse,everypatientwillfeelita
dutytotakeafood,eitherorderedbyaPhysician,orelse
whichtheyfindagreeswiththembest.
Tosomeperhapsthefollowingsuggestionsmaybehelpful:
1.Thinkaslittleaspossibleaboutwhatyouwilleat
orwhatyouwilldrink(Matthew6:25).Takewhatis
brought,thankfully,whetherornotyoufeellikeeat
ing it. This, of course, implies that you are in a
householdwherethingsarebroughtonyourbehalf.
Thedifficultyismuchgreater,whenapatienthasto
provideforhimorherself.Inthiscase,itisbestto
setupasimpleaplanfortheweek'smenuahead29
rarelydepartingfromitsothattheorderandfood
comenaturally.
2. Think as little as you can of the food longings
whichsodistressyou.Whentheydocome,donot
reasonwiththem.Trytodistractyourthoughtsto
somethingelse.Atanyrate,donotdwellonthem
andspeakofthemrarely,ifatall.
3.Lookuponthemasatrial,asmeanttotestyou
andnotasanyproofofyoursinfulness.
Ihavecreatedawholesectiononhowtoplanforandtreatchronicill
nesswithdietathttp://fatigue.wikispaces.com/diet_recipesandinclude
thebestrecipesforarestorationofhealth.
29
93
Fasting
Somesickpeoplehavefoundithelpfulindiscipliningtheir
longings for foods, to abstain from certain food at stated
times.Butfastingiswrongduringaperiodwhenyourdoc
torhasorderedyoutotakeallthenourishmentthatyoucan
andwhenhehasprescribedthequantityandqualityofyour
food.Butyoucangiveupmanylittleindulgencesoreatless
ofcertainthingswhich,ifyourhealthneedsit,mayeasily
bemadeup bytaking somelessagreeable food. You can
easilyarrangethis,especiallyifyouareincontroloforder
ingyourownmeals.
Whateveryoudo,doitsilently withagoodwillastothe
Lordandnottoman (Ephesians6:7)andsecretly,sothat
onlyHethatseesinsecretmayseeit.Lethowyoueatbea
sacrifice.Donotbeatpeaceunlessitisandthenofferit
up,cheerfullyandwillinglytoHim,wholoves acheerful
giver(2Corinthians9:7).AsHeacceptedthewidow'smite
gladly,becauseshegaveallshehad,soHewillacceptthe
verylittleofferingthatyouareabletomake.
Whateveryoudo,letitbedoneseriously,earnestly,deliber
ately,perseveringly,notasasuddenandimpulsivething,as
wellasprayerfully.Considerwhatyouwilldo,thendoitat
regularandstatedtimes.Thiswilldoyoumuchmoregood
thangreaterthingsdoneirregularlyandfromimpulse.The
veryregularity,thefeelingofbeingunderarule,isanexcel
lentspiritualdiscipline.Donotbeginontoogreatascale
andthen,thinkingthatyoufindnobenefitfromit,giveit
up.Youprobablymaynotexperience anybenefit atfirst,
perhapsnoneforalongtime,butpersevere.Youwillfinda
greatblessinganotherdayandIfitseemsslow,waitforit,it
willsurelycome,itwillnotdelay(Habakkuk2:3).
Donotmakeanygreateffortatfirst.Beginwithaverylittle
thing,sosmallthatyoumaythinkthatuntilyoutrythatyou
shallnotfeelitandyouwillsoonfindthatyoudo.Aftera
time,youmaytrysomethingelseaswellandsoon.
94
Occasionallyeatsomeparticularfoodeverydayforseveral
days,orlongerwithoutanyvariation.
Whenyouhavetriedallmeansofdiscipliningyourselfand
the food longings still tease you, say, "I must not be dis
turbedbythisasitisahumblingdisciplineanditisthewill
ofGod".
TheBlessingofSocialandCommunalMeals
Rememberthattheeatingapartfromafamilyofferscon
stant temptations. Theblessingsofsocial meals aremany
andgreat,greaterthanwehaveanyideaofuntilwearede
privedofthem.
Eatingtogetherbringsafamilytogether.Itgivesthemstated
timesofmeeting,keepsuprelationships,givesallmembers
achancetohearandseemuchoffamilylifeandeachoth
ers' interestswhichthey wouldotherwisemiss. Eatingto
getherremovestheselfishnessofthemeal.Itmakesameal
not for one's self alone, but for everyone. It becomes
somethingsharedandmutual.Conversationhelpstomake
usforgetthefoodandnottofindourchiefpleasureinfood.
Peoplewhohaveallmealsalonearetemptedtoselfishness
toconcentrateonthequalityofthefoodtheyareeatingand
oftheirowncapacitytoeatandenjoyit.Therearemany
othertemptationstoosmalltomention,butwhicharenev
erthelesstrying.
EatingAlone
Imustnotforgetonetemptationinillnesswhichisthesad
ness, loneliness and feeling of isolation of eating solitary
meals.This seemsalmostacontradictionbecausethesick
personseldomfeelsmorealonethanatmealtimes.ButHe
whogivesyoutheblessingofthefoodiswithyou.Receive
thismercyfromHishandsandaskHimtoblessit.Thenyou
will feel less alone and isolated. Realising His presence
whileyouareatameal,youwillidentifywith ...whether
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youeatordrink,orwhateveryoudo,doalltothegloryof
God(1Corinthians10:31)
2.11Nights
Inthedaysofhealth,youlookedtoanight'ssleeptorenew
yourstrength,toovercomewearinessandtoenableyouto
forgetdepression.Youlaiddownandslept(Psalms103:5),
andthenwokerefreshed,or,ifyoudidnot,youfeltthat
somethingwaswrongandthatyoucouldnotbewell.
Butnowtheoppositeistrue.Oftenthenightisyourtimeof
greatest malaise, restlessness and sleeplessness. All your
anxietiesriseagain,clothedinblackerthoughtsthaninthe
daylight.Nightisfulloffears,foryourselfandforothers,
fullofyourmost unloving,saddest,most murmuring and
discontentedthoughts.
Sometimesyousayinthemorning, Ifonlyitwereevening
andateveningyoushallsay,Ifonlyitweremorning!because
ofthedreadthatyourheartshallfeel,andthesightsthatyour
eyesshallsee (Deuteronomy28:67).Yourwearied,worn
outbodyandspiritseemtopreferanythingbutwhatyou
have.Youtakesomesleepingpilland,atlength,youfall
intoadozebutyouareperhaps(partlyatleast)consciousof
whatisgoingonaroundyouandofsoundswithinearshot.
Yousoonwakeunrestedandevenmoreweariedinbody,
moretemptedinmindthanbefore.Afterawhile,youfall
asleepbutyoursleepisfullofdreams,oftenmostdistress
ingandstartling.Youdreadthenightandsaytoyourself,
nightsofmiseryareapportionedtome(Job7:3).
Haveyoueverthoughtthatyourwordsofcomplaintcarry
withthemthetruestcomfortandareappointed?Theydo
notcomebychanceorbyaccident,sinceGodorderedthem
foryou.Heknowshowmanysuchsleeplessnightsyouneed
andHewillnotgiveyouonemorethanisnecessary.Surely,
inthatlastnightofHisagony,Heexperiencedanextreme
96
ofyoursuffering.Hedoesnotappointsuchextremewrest
ling as He endured for you and when He sends you the
sharpestsuffering,sothatyourwholeheadissick,andthe
wholeheartfaint(Isaiah1:5),eventhenHeisnearyou,He
who, in wonderful pityand condescension, has promised:
TheLordsustainshimonhissickbed;inhisillnessyoure
storehimtofullhealth(Psalms41:3)Youknowquitewhat
thatexpressionconveystoyourmind.Youknowallthetoss
ingandrestlessnessthatmakeyourbedofsicknesssoun
easyandsuchanuncomfortableplace.
Youknowwhatitis,especiallyinthenight,tobe afraid
alsoofwhatishigh,andterrorsareintheway(Ecclesiastes.
12:5)Youknowthestrangeimaginationsandvisionsthat
yourpoorweakbrainconjuresupandhowharditistocon
vince yourself that they are not frightening realities. You
knowhow,sometimes,panicatbeingaloneseizesyouand
yourightlyfeelthatyououghtnottodisturbanyonewith
yourfears.
You know too what it is to lie and hear or know that
someonenearbyissleepingandtobetemptedtoenvyhim
orher,untilatlastyoufeelasifyoucouldnotbearthathe
orsheshouldhavesuchcomfortingsleepandyouarede
privedofit.Thistemptsyoutowakethisperson.
Bewarehowyouyieldtosuchatemptation!Neveronany
excusewakethisperson,unlessitistrulynecessary.Ifyou
once yield to such a temptation, it will assail you more
strongly next time, until your selfishness gains the upper
handandyourconflictwithyourselfwillbeextreme.
Thereisnowayofmeetingthistemptationbutbylookingat
thesewearisomenightsasappointedforyou,andsaying,
"ItisthewillofGod".Thinkwhenyoucan,ofHisunspeak
ablenearnesstoyou:eventhedarknessisnotdarktoyou;
thenightisbrightastheday,fordarknessisaslightwith
you(Psalms139:12).
97
Think of His agony that night of agony in the Garden of

Gethsemane.Yourwearinessandweaknesscannotbegreat
erthanHisthen?Youcannotpray,perhapscontinuouslyor
howevershortyourprayeris,howeverbrokenasentenceor
evenameregroan,anditwillreachHisears.Atanyrate,
youmayseektofeelthat Hislefthandisundermyhead,
andhisrighthandembracesme! (SongofSongs2:6).Lay
yourselfthenquietlydowninHisarmsandbelievethatThe
eternalGodisyourdwellingplace,andunderneatharethe
everlastingarms (Deuteronomy33:27). Youwillnotfear
the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day
(Psalms91:5).Then: Shallyourlightbreakforthlikethe
dawn,andyourhealingshallspringupspeedily;yourright
eousnessshallgobefore you;theglory oftheLordshallbe
yourrearguard(Isaiah58:8).
Itisoftenagreathelpduringthenighttorepeatpoemsor
hymnsorasmuchofthemasyoucanremember.Ortore
citePsalmsotherwordsofHolyScriptureortheServicesof
theChurch.Ofcourse,duetoyourimpairedmemoryitwill
beabrokenrecollection,averseoralineofone,perhaps,
andthenanother.Thisdoesnotmatter.Itisagreathelpin
blocking out unholy and distressing thoughts or fears,
throughoccupyingthemindandquieteningitandsogiving
itthebestchanceofsleep.
AtfirstweseemtoremembernothingofBibleverses,but
gradually more and more will come to mind of what we
havereadorlearntinthepastandthoughtwehaveforgot
ten.Itwasonlylyingdormantreadytobeused,intimeof
need.Thosewhohavetheabilitytoreadandwhosenights
areveryfeverishorwhowakeshakenbytroublingdreams
willfindnothingsosoothingfortheirmindsorsolikelyto
calmtheirthoughtsandpreparethemforsleep,asareading
ofoneormorePsalms,orpartofaBiblereadingforthe
day.Thepainfulimpressionofthedreamwillfadeandthey
willfinditthereadingameansbywhichtheLordworks:
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MaytheLordgivestrengthtohispeople!MaytheLordbless
hispeoplewithpeace! (Psalms29:11)
2.12Days
Afterawearisomenightyoubeginthedayeitherwith'thin'
orfeverishenergywhichissoonexhaustedandleavesyou
wearierthanbefore,orelsewithasenseofexhaustionand
unfitnesstobeginanewday.
Youthink,Ihavesoandsotodo,soandsotoseebuthow
canIdoanything?Itisverydifficulttobearthissenseof
impossibilitysodonotfixtoopreciselyonwhatyoucando
andonwhatyoucannot.Letcircumstancesdecide.Things
willnotdevelopexactlyasyouexpectthemto.Whenyou
lookforwardtotheday,everythingseemsasifitwillcome
at once, at the same time and you wonder how you will
cope.Whichpersonshallyouputoffcomingandwhowill
yousee?Willitseemlikemakingyourselftooimportantto
putsomeoneoff?Hadyounotbetterseeeveryone,saynoth
ingaboutbeingweakandthenlatersinkunderthestrain,if
youmust?
Yousay,"WhatlinecanIdraw?WhatcanIdo?".Ifdoctors
wouldonlytellyouthatyoumustnotdothisorthat,then
youwouldfindnodifficultyinobeyingthemandyouwould
gratefullyfollowtheirdirections.Whentheydogivesuch
directions,itisagreatrelief,makingitasimplematterof
obedienceandremovingfromyouthefearofoverindulging
orunderapplyingyourselfwhen,infact,yououghttobe
following our Lord's instructions: If anyone would come
afterme,lethimdenyhimselfandtakeuphiscrossandfollow
me(Matthew16:24).
Themostdifficultpartofthistrialisuncertaintyandper
plexity,innotknowingwhatisexpectedofyou.Itisnot
thatyouwanttoescapefromsufferingorfromactivity,but
that in not knowing how much strength you have to do
99
tasks,youdonotknowhowmuchtouseandwhethertouse
whatyouhaveortrytopreserveit.
Tothosewhohaveastrongsenseoftheneedtomakethe
bestuseofthetime (Colossians4:5)itisaverygreatdis
tressnot toknowhowtoorganiseone's timesoastobe
reallyusefultooneselfandtoothers.Theyearnestlydesire
togiveeverymomenttoGodandforalltheiractivitiesto
glorifyHimandnotmerelytobeforpresentamusement.
TheywanttoworkforthelastinggoodoftheChurchas
wellasforthissickmember.Howtodothisisoftenvery
perplexing.
Perhapsthefollowingrulescanbeofsomeassistance:
1.AskGodinallthingstodirectandruleyourheart,
toorderitandtodirectyourmindtostudieswhich
willexpanditandsoprepareitforfutureusefulness,
ifitisHiswill.
2. Choose subjects of interest for which there is a
naturalaptitudeandability.
3. Vary your pursuits. Never to continue even an
amusement for too long and listen for the well
knownindicationsofapproachingfatigue.
4.Allowsomeofyourtimetobespentmerelymech
anically.
5. Spend some time in mere recreation, without
countingitawasteoftime.
6. Iftwokindsofreadingaretofolloweachother,
spend at least a few minutes between each kind,
merelylyingstill,withouteventhinking.
7. Allowyourselftospendnotimeinworryingthat
you can do so very little, but thank God for each
thingthatHeallowsyoutodo.
8.Regulateyourtimesothatyouchoosethepartof
thedaywhenyouarethestrongestforthesubjects
100
whichrequirethemostattention(andsoon,inor
der).
9.Donotforcetheseactivitiesonyourselfasrulesor
asiftheyarerulesthatmustnotbebroken.Letyour
lessened or increased illness and other circum
stances,makeyouflexible.
10.Donotupsetyourselfwiththeopinionsthatoth
erpeopleofferofyour'duty'todomore,orofexert
ing yourself more than you do nor dismiss them
completely. Lay them before God. Ask Him who
knows your heart and what you really can do in
everydetail,toshowyouwhatyououghttodoand
togiveyouthewilltodoit.
11.Donotwasteyourtimewithlightreading(gos
sip magazines or fantasies). Everything which ex
pandsthemind,enablesittosympathisemorewith
others and to hold closer communion with God.
Lightreadingisapttooccupythemindsoftheweak
morethanofthestrong, todistracttheirthoughts
whentheyoughttobeprayingandtohaunttheir
dreamsandnightvisions.
12.Asmuchaspossiblesetsomeobjectiveforyour
selfandreadwiththisobjectiveinview.Eitherturn
yourreadingtosomespecialpurposeorfixonsome
subject to which you will turn your thoughts and
studies.Thiswillhelp remove your sense ofbeing
withoutapurposewhichisafeelingwhichafflicts
thesicksomuch.
ChoiceofReadingMatter
Generallyspeaking,worksoffiction,andespeciallynovels,
arenotagoodchoiceofreadingmatterforthesick.They
tendtooverpowerthemindandtopreventitfromthinking
ofothertopics.Theyhauntitbydayasbynight,soasat
times,toincreaseillness.Theyareparticularlyilladaptedto
101
peoplewhoaresufferingfromnervousnessandgreatweak
ness and who have not, therefore, the full command and
controloftheiremotionsandminds.Tothemthestorythey
havereadmayassumeanactualformoftruthandlife.Ifit
istragic,theymaysufferwiththesufferersastheyread,un
til their suffering becomes their own and cannot be laid
asidewiththebook,butproducesrestlessness,feverishness,
anxiety,andterror,bothinwakingandsleepinghours.Be
sides,thereisanotherverydamagingeffect,ifthestoryisof
greatinterest,thatthereisanintensedesiretofinishitwith
great impatience and irritability at any interruption. The
strainuponthemindandnervesisstrungouttoolongand
perhapscausesanincreaseofsufferingandalossofself
control,formanydays.
Surely sick people should avoid everything which lessens
theirselfcontrolastheyhaveweaknessandpaintocontinu
allysapit.Whattheyneediseverythingwhichwill'brace'
themindandthenerves.Iftheycanreadalittle,itisbetter
toreadsuchthingsthatdonotperishastheyareused(Co
lossians2:22),buttendtohelpthemforwardintheright
waywhichleadsuntoeverlastinglife(ServicefortheVisit
ationoftheSick).
Travelguidesandtravelwritingcontaininterest30.Theytake
thereaderintonewscenesandcircumstances,andsodraw
one'sthoughtsfromoneselfandone'susualtrainofideas.
Nevertheless,therearestatesofillnessinwhichtheocca
sionalreadingofworksoffictionmaybedesirable.Invery
acutepain,toothacheoranysimilarpains,whenthemere
objectistoforgetbothoneselfandpain,averyinteresting
story will sometimes accomplish the objective for a time.
Theserulesapplymostlytothosewhohaveleisurewhich
theydesiretouseproperly,whenevertheyhavestrengthto
doso.
Meditatingonrelaxingplacesshownanddescribedintravelbrochures
(freefromtravelagents)istherapeuticinillness.
30
102
Butmanyofthelongtermsickareinsuchcircumstancesin
whichtheyhavenoleisure.Theirdailyduties,smallasthey
mayseem,takealltheirstrengthandwhentheyarenotdo
ingthesenecessarylittleactivities31,theycandonothingbut
rest.
Foryou,clearlyyourdutyistodotheworkyousetyourself
withawillingheartandthoughitseems,attimes,topress
theverylifeoutofyouandincreaseyourdistress,trytobe
verythankfulthatyouhaveworkgiventoyoutodobyGod
Himself.
Offerallyourtime,strengthandgiftstoHim,askingHim
eachmorningtoshowyouhourbyhour,whatHewillsyou
todo.AskHimtohelpyoutoalwaysrememberthatwith
eachportionofwork,andofsuffering,comestheportionof
strengthneededtofulfilitbecause,...Master,Iknewyouto
beahardman,reapingwhereyoudidnotsow,andgathering
whereyouscatterednoseed(Matthew25:24).
Eachmorning,considerquietlywhatseemstolieaheadof
you during the day and commit each thing separately to
God,askingHimtoteachandguideyou,toquietenandto
strengthenyou.Itcanbedoneinafewwords,inbroken
wordsandsentences,ifyouhavenomorementalstrength.
AskHimtoteachyouHiswill,toguideanddirectallyour
circumstances, to give wisdom in relationships with each
memberofthefamilyandwithfriends.Askthatyoumayre
ceivewhatevernewsthephone,emailsorlettersmaybring
orwhateverpaintheymaycauseyou,calmlyandasthewill
ofyourheavenlyFather.Askthatinwhateverphoneconver
sationsyouhave,oranycommunicationsthatyouwrite,He
may guide and direct you. Ask that whatever unexpected
circumstancesmayarise,Hewillhelpyoutorememberthat
theyarefromHim.
31
Ouradviceisto'dotheminimum'possible,inthesecircumstances.
103
Askforwisdomandsincerityinallyourinteractionswith
thepeoplearoundyou,withanyonethatyouexpecttosee
andanyonewhomaycallunexpectedly.Ask,thatifyouare
particularlyweakorwearywhentheycomethatyoumay
not show it or even utter exclamations of impatience to
whoeverushersthemintoseeyou.Askthatyoumayget
throughwithpatience,meeknessandquietnessallthede
mands,aswellasthepleasurableeventsoftheday.Inthem
all,offerupyourwilltoGod.
TheCollectwithwhichtheBookofCommonPrayerbegins,
AlmightyGod,untowhomallheartsbeopen,usedtobe,
untowhomeverywillspeaks.Letyourwill'speak'toHim.
Hewillhearitandacceptitandjudgeyou,notaccordingto
whatyoucannotdo,butaccordingtowhatyoucando.Hav
ing done all this, constantly remember all day that He is
veryneartoyou,andineverynewproblem,letyourwill
'speak'toHim.
Do not yield to the temptation of looking ahead to
everythingasifeverythingwillhappenatonce,asifallthe
eventsofthedaywillbecrowdedintoasinglehour.Donot
forecastaheadbuttakeeachthing,asitcomesandlookon
itasthepresentexpressionofthewillofGodconcerning
you.Thenregardthenextchallengeinthesameway. Re
ceiveyourday,piecebypiece,fromHimwhowillremem
beralways whenHe givesyou work to do, that you also
needstrengthwithwhichtodoit.
Youwillfinditagreatblessingtodoeverything,asmuchas
possible,atstatedhoursandtodoeachthingatthesame
houreveryday.Or,ifitisathingthathappensonlyweekly,
doitonthesamedayoftheweekandatthesamehour.It
makesthingscomenaturallyandeasily,andwithfarlessef
fort.Youknowwhatyouhavetodoandcanarrangethings
accordingly.Moreover,habitmakesallthingssomucheasi
erandlessburdensomeandpreventstheconstantconsider
ingofwhatyouhavetodoandwhatyououghttodonext.
104
Often,whenyouhavealmostcollapsedinspirit,thethought
comes, Ifyouhaveracedwithmenonfootandtheyhave
weariedyou,howwillyoucompetewithhorses? (Jeremiah
12:5). Put the thought out of your mind. It is a faithless
thought.Ifyouneedmorestrengthyouwillhaveit,besure
ofthat.Orthecalltogreaterexertionmaynevercome.You
havetofocusonthepresent.LeavethefutureinHishands,
whowillbesuretodothebest,theverybestforyou.
2.13DisappointmentsandDiscouragements
Do not expect to be wholly free from weak or depressed
thoughtswhilea sick body isburdening you and causing
youtogroan,beingburdened(2Corinthians5:4).Friends
maytellyouthatany depressioniswrong and thatwhat
shouldhappenisthis: Though our outer selfis wasting
away,ourinnerselfisbeingreneweddaybyday(2Corinthi
ans4:16).Theyrepeatthesetruewordsbuttheymakea
mistakeintheirapplicationforunlessagrainofwheatfalls
intotheearthanddies,itremainsalone;butifitdies,itbears
muchfruit(John5:24).
Whatyousowdoesnotcometolife,unlessitdies.Andwhat
yousowisnotthebodythatistobe,butabarekernel,per
hapsofwheatorofsomeothergrain.ButGodgivesitabody
ashehaschosen,andtoeachkindofseeditsownbody (1
Corinthians15:3638).Itissownindishonour;itisraisedin
glory.Itissowninweakness;itisraisedinpower (1Cor
inthians15:43).Myframewasnothiddenfromyou,whenI
wasbeingmadeinsecret,intricatelywoveninthedepthsof
theearth.Youreyessawmyunformedsubstance;inyourbook
werewritten,everyoneofthem,thedaysthatwereformedfor
me,whenasyettherewasnoneofthem(Psalms139:1516).
Soitiswiththespiritualbody.Howitismouldedandfash
ioned is hidden from our sight. We cannot see how this
severe 'frost', which seemsonly to harden the ground for
now,andevenpreventitfromreceivingthedewofheaven,
105
canbeofanybenefitforus.Butwait,andthespringtime
willcome,whenTheflowersappearontheearth,thetimeof
singinghascome,andthevoiceoftheturtledoveisheardin
ourland(SongofSongs2:12).Thenweshallseehowne
cessarytheseverefrostonthelandhasbeenandhowitpre
servedthepreciousseed.
Do not doubt that the inward man is renewed, but the
secretoftheLordiswiththemthatfearHim(Psalms25:14).
Heknowstheinwardsoulandknowshowitiscreated.So
donotbedownheartedwhenyourfriendsofferyoudeep
discouragement.Justsay:Havemercyonme,havemercyon
me,Oyou,myfriends,forthehandofGodhastouchedme!
(Job19:21). Whyareyoucastdown,Omysoul,andwhy
areyouinturmoilwithinme?HopeinGod;forIshallagain
praise him, my salvation and my God (Psalms 42:11).
Thoughheslayme,Iwillhopeinhim;yetIwillarguemy
waystohisface (Job13:15).Donotafterwardsreturnin
doubttothisquestion,oruntilitendsupwithyousaying:
Itishopeless(Jeremiah2:25).
Simply tell everything to Our Father, or rather say that
youcannottellHimbutthatHeknowsyourtroublealready.
AskHim,ifitwillpleaseHim,tohelpyoutoletyourlight
shinebeforeothers,sothattheymayseeyourgoodworksand
giveglorytoyourFatherwhoisinheaven(Matthew5:16).
Ifitcannotbedoneinthewayyouhopefor,thentohelp
youtosay,Yourwillbedone(Matthew26:42).
Friendsmaysaythatyouhavesomuchleisuretimeand
that they envy you your leisure. They may say that they
sometimeslongtobeillsothattheymayhavemoreunin
terruptedtimetoserveGod.Theythinkthatillnessissucha
timeforcommunionwithGodandforgrowingingrace.Do
notbediscouragedbyallthis.Donotimaginebecauseyou
donotfindthesethingstobewhollytrue,thatyouareina
wrongstateofmindandthatallthepastgrowthinillness
hasbeenonlyadelusion.
106
Itis'afterwards'thatillnessyieldsthepeacefulfruitofright
eousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews
12:11).
LeaveitalltoHisrighteousjudgementandleaveyourselfin
His hands. He knows your situation, your pain, and
everythingthathappenstoyouandHewilljudgeyouac
cordingtothosecircumstances,notaccordingtoyourestim
ateofyourself,orofthem.Thereforeletthosewhosufferac
cordingtoGod'swill,entrusttheirsoulstoafaithfulCreator,
whiledoinggood.(1Peter4:19).
2.14WorriesaboutlackofmoneyinIllness
Onemorethingmustbementionedasafruitfulsourceof
trial.Itcanbeablessing,ifitisnotasourceofdiscontentas
well.
Shortageofmoneyisalwayshardtobearbutwhensickness
isadded,itissuchahardatrial,thatonlyHewhoboreit
all,who humbledHimself (Philippians2:8), tookonHim
theformofaservant(Philippians2:7)hadnowheretolay
Hishead (Matthew8:20)andwhopassedthroughtheex
tremeofhungerandthirstforoursakes,canfullyunder
standitorknowitshardships.Thisstateisfulloftempta
tions of selfpity, anxiety and suffering. But Jesus knows
aboutitall.Henotonlytastedit,butdrankthewholecup,
totheverydregs.
Jesusknowshowverydifficultitisforyoutoprocurethe
basicnecessitiesofyourlife,howmanythingswhichseem
toothersessentialyoumustgiveup.Heseeshowoftenyou
needtoeatfoodwhichyoucanscarcelyswallow,because
youcanneithereatnoraffordanythingelse.Heseeshow
oftenyoucaneatnothingatall,butinsteadsufferhunger.
Heknowsthepainofhunger.HeboreitforyouthatHe
mightunderstanditallandbeabletobearyouupunderthe
107
trial.Ifyourstrengthisfamished(Job18:12),Heknowsit
andHepitiesyou.
Thislevelofpovertymaynotbeyourmaintrial.Youmay
nothavebeentestedinthiscondition,butyouarelivingin
constantanxietyanddistress,feelingdeeplytheheavybur
dens and expenses sickness causes and that you have no
meansofmeetingthem.
Perhapsyouhavebeencompletely'laidaside'fromthework
orcallingbywhichyouobtainedyour'dailybread'?Ifyou
haveanyrelationsdependingonyou,youwillfeelthis,even
moredeeply.Or,ifforthetimebeing,youareobligedtode
pendonthemandknowwithwhatdifficultytheycanmeet
thenecessity,youdenyyourselfineverypossibleway.Nev
erthelessthecostsexceedyourmeansandyouaresickat
heart.
Constantanxietyaboutmoneypreysonyourhealth,nerves,
andspirits.Itleavesyoulessandlessprobabilityofreturn
ingtowork.Youthinkthatifyoucouldonlyaffordsome
treatmentorseeaparticular,privatedoctor,youwouldre
cover.Butyoufeelthatyouhavenomoneyforit.
Then, perhaps this difficulty of finances is removed. One
doctor'sgenerositymakessometreatmenteasyforyou,but
you have benefited little from it. He orders remedies but
thoseremediesseemtoyoueitheroutofyourreachortoin
volvegreatsacrifices.Hetellsyouthatyouneedrestand
freedomfromanxiety.Buthemightaswellhaveordered
youtogotoChina!
Youthinkthatifyoucouldonlygoandliveinasunnier
countryorbythesea,youwouldrecover,butitisallbeyond
yourincome.You needa nurseorconvalescent carerbut
youcannothaveone.Youaretoldtotakeexercise,butyou
cannotwalkandnorcanyouaffordasuitablewheelchair.
Youaresupposedtoeatwell,whichforyouisallbutim
possibleandyoualsofeelthatyououghttodenyyourself
everylittlecomfort.
108
Inthisway,youbecomemoreandmorehopeless.Allthis
andtheinnumerabletrialswhichbelongtothisstateofill
ness,arebestknowntothosesufferersintowhosesoulsthe
ironenters32.Theyareindeedbittergriefs33.
Painfulasitmaybetoyou,perhapsitisyourdutytomake
anappealtofriendswhoareacquaintedwithyoursituation,
whocouldhelpyou?Donotletpridekeepyoufromasking
forfinancialhelp.IfourLordhascalledyoutowalkwith
Himinpoverty,rememberthatHehassanctifiedthestate.
Povertyishenceforthaholystate.Donotletthefearof
troublingthemhinderyoufromspeakingtothem.Hehas
saidthatHewilllookonalltheiractsofmercyasdoneto
Himself:Truly,Isaytoyou,asyoudidittooneoftheleast
ofthesemybrothers,youdidittome(Matthew25:40).
Donotdefraudyourfriendsoftheblessingwhichisprom
isedtothosewhogiveevenacupofcoldwaterbecauseheis
a disciple (Matthew 10:42)34. You will want also to take
theirrejectionhumblyandthankfullyiftheyrefuseandre
ceivethistrialtoo,asfromthehandsofGod.Afterall,your
trueandsurecomfortwillbethatGodhascalledyouinto
thisstatethatHewhohaspassedthroughitall,whoisalso
oursympathizingHighPriest,knowseverystepoftheway.
TheLordJesusChristknowsallitsthorns,snares,andpit
falls,allitscrossesanditsextremebitterness.Hewouldnot
havecalledyouintothissuffering,ifHehadnotseenitas
beingnecessaryforyou.
Sodonotreasonaboutit.Donotsay"Sicknesswouldbe
easytobearwithoutfinancialworries".Onlysay: Itisthe
Lord.LetHimdowhatseemsgoodtohim"(1Samuel3:18).
SayI came intothesecircumstances byno choice ofmy
32
Referstotheancientpracticeoftorturingwithironinstruments.
Theterm'bittergrief'isBiblical.SeeProverbs17:25whichexpressesa
mother'ssaddisappointmentata'foolish'i.e.arebelliousson.
33
Peopleinchronicillnesscanfallthroughthesocalledsafetynetofso
ciety
34
109
own. It was His will and it is His will that keeps me in

them.BesurethatHewhofedElijahbyravenswouldnot
sufferyoutobetemptedbeyondyourability(1Corinthians
10:13) for The Almighty God is the Lord of life, and of
death,andofallthingstothempertaining(Serviceforthe
VisitationoftheSick).
GodcanraiseupfriendsforyouandHewilldoso,when,
andas,Heseesbestforyou.ForThesilverismine,andthe
goldismine,declarestheLordofHosts(Haggai2:8).Only
set before Him allyour needs, desires andcircumstances,
everylittletrialandeventhosewhicharetoosmalltotellto
yourfriends.Answereverysadthought,everysuggestionof
discouragement, anxiety, fear of the future with, I must
havenoworriesaboutthefuture:itisnotinmyhands.I
haveonlytothink aboutthepresentmomentforGodhas
placedmeintheseverycircumstancessoImustnotanalyse
themindetail.Iknowthattheyaretheverybestforme,be
causetheGodofLovehasplacedmeinthem.Itisthewill
ofGod.
2.15DifficultyinPrayer
Difficultyinprayerisoftenasubjectofpainandtrialtothe
sick.Theythinkprayershouldbeablessingbutthebody
andmindaresocloselyconnectedthattheweakenedand
sufferingbodypreventsthefreeexerciseofthemind; The
spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew
26:41).
You try to fix your thoughtsin prayer. You feel that you
havesomuchtoask,somuchtoprayfor.Butthenastupor
comesoveryou.Youtrytorouseyourselfbutwithoutsuc
cess.Yousuddenlyawakeandthink,WhereamI?HaveI
fallenasleepevenatprayer,evenwhilespeakingtoGod?
Itisnotsomuchthatyourthoughtssometimeswanderas
thattheyhave'evaporated'asiftheydidnotbelongtoyou
110
andyouhavenocontroloverthem.Sometimesfloatingim
agesorfiguresflitaroundyou.
Ifyouwanttoprayforyourfriends,itseemsthatyoucan
onlymentiontheirnamesbeforeGodandcannotaskthose
thingswhicharerequisiteandnecessaryfortheirbodiesas
wellasfortheirsouls.Yourarely,ifever, pouroutyour
heartbeforeHim(Psalms62:8).Sometimesyoufeelthatif
you coulddo that, ifyou could only ask for the strength
whichyousogreatlyneed,thenyouknowthat, Hewould
rendtheHeavensandcomedown (Isaiah44:1)and Heis
abletodofarmoreabundantlythanallthatweaskorthink,
accordingtothepoweratworkwithinus(Ephesians3:20).
Butitseemsasiftheveryendeavourtopray,breaksupyour
thoughts. You have no sense of His presence and, which
seemsworse,noearnestdesiretosenseit.
Does everything seem to you unreal and an abstraction?
Doestheeyeofyoursoulseemtobe'dimmed'?Doyoual
mostenvythemaninthegospelwhosaid,Iseemenas
treeswalking?(Mark8:24)sinceyouseemtoseenothing.
Ifyoucatchsightofsomething,whilstyoulook,itdisap
pearsintothemazeofyourthoughts.Youusedtobedis
tressedbywanderingthoughtsinprayerbutnowyourtrial
seemstobetheabsenceofallthought.
Youfeelasifyourmindiscrumbling.Youseemtoseeit
crumble,whileyouwatchit.Whatishappeningtoyou?Is
thistheentireloss ofyour mind? No, it is the pervading
presence of weakness, whichifit ever pleases God to re
moveandtogiveyoubackyourstrengthofbody,willalso
berenewed.
Inthemeantime,donotstruggle,butbestill.Itistheduty
offaithtobelievethatsincenothingisbychancethatHe
withoutwhomnotasparrowfallstotheground(Matthew
10:29) appoints each accident of your life. He for whom
thehairsofyourheadareallnumbered (Matthew10:30)
knows the throb of your brow, each harddrawn breath,
111
each shot of pain, each beating of the fevered pulse and

eachsinkingoftheachingheart.Receive,then,thesetrials
notallatonce,butonebyone,asfromHisalllovinghands.
ThankHisloveforeach.Uniteeachwiththesufferingsof
JesusChristinsalvationandpraythatHewillherebysancti
fythemtoyou.
YoudonotknowwhatHeisdoingthrougheachaspectof
your illness. But, day by day, you will become more and
more like Jesus, the everblessed Son. Then, in you too,
whileyoudonotknowit,Godwill`beglorified,'and'shall
glorifyyou'.
Itmaybethatyouarethinkingthatprayerissomehardtask
andheavyduty?Youareforgettingthatwhenthebodyis
lowinvitality,themindsharesthatweaknesstoo,andthat:
AndHewhosearchesheartsknowswhatisthemindofthe
Spirit,becausetheSpiritintercedesforthesaintsaccordingto
thewillofGod(Romans8:27).Thisissomuchthecasethat
Hereadsyourheart,understandsitallandknowswhatyou
wanttosay,farbetterthanyouknowit.Infact,Heknows
evenbeforeyouknowityourself.
WhatGodislookingforisthe'posture'ofoursoul,there
nunciationofourwill,orratheryourwillbeingsounited
withHisthattheyarenolongertwowillsbutoneWill.
Hewhocreatedyousurelyknowshowyouaremade.For
heknowsourframe;heremembersthatwearedust(Psalms
103:14).ItdoesnotsayHeonceknewitbutHeremem
bers it. Do not be afraid then. Heis compassionate and
merciful(James5:11).Hedoesnotneedyourwordstoen
ableHimtounderstandyourthoughts.Infact,nocreature
ishiddenfromhissight,butallarenakedandexposedtothe
eyesofhimtowhomwemustgiveaccount(Hebrews4:13).
Silenceandsubmissionareyourofferingsnowandtheywill
beseenasacceptableinHissightaswereyourprayersin
healthier days. Do not think that continuous speaking to
Godistheonlykindoftrueprayer.OLord,allmylonging
112
is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you (Psalms

38:9).Godlooksatyourheart.Heseeswhatisinit,things
whichyoucannotframeintowords,whichyoucannotex
press,butwhichHefullyunderstands.
YoucannottellGodanything.Heknowsitalready.Youcan
onlysay,Lord,helpme(Matthew15:25).Heseesandwill
surelyansweryou.Yousaywhenyouwakeinthemorning
andinthenight,andoftenintheday,Vouchsafe,0Lord,
tokeepmethisdaywithoutsin35.Thatisprayer,thetruest
prayer.
Goddoesnotmeasureaprayer'sworthbyitslength,butby
itssincerity.ThemeresenseofbeinginHisarms,ofHisun
derstandingyou,lovingandembracingyou,thatisprayer
becauseitisthelosingyourselfinHim.
Doyounotoftenfindanswerscomingintoyourthoughts?
You scarcely thought that needs had been scarcely ex
pressed.ButHeisverynear,yes,infactwithinyou.You
neednotspeakbutHeinterpretsyoursilence.Hesawyou
andHesaidforyou,Thespiritindeediswilling,buttheflesh
isweak (Matthew26:41)andtheHolySpirit helpsusin
ourweakness.Forwedonotknowwhattoprayforaswe
ought,buttheSpirithimselfintercedesforuswithgroaning
toodeepforwords(Romans8:26).
Nevermindyourinabilitytospeak.Justofferupyourwhole
selfsaying,YouknowwhatIcannotspeak,andwhyIcan
notspeakasyouknowallthings.
Butwhenyousay,Icometodoyourwill,0God(Hebrews
10:7,9)donotbedisturbediftheansweris,Abodyhave
youpreparedforme(Hebrews10:5).Donotbedismayedif
moresufferingistheanswertoyoursubmission,ifitseems
tobeamereconflictbetweenthefleshandthespirit.Ifso,
FromtheTeDeumwhichisanearlyhymnofpraise.Usuallythought
tobewrittenbySaintAmbroseandSaintAugustine,somescholarsassign
ittoNicetas,BishopofRemesiana(inthe4th/5thcentury).
35
113
itisanhonourbecauseitlikensyoutoyourLordandMas
ter,towhomthesameanswerwasgiven.Thelessonforyou
nowisthatyourstrengthistositstill(Isaiah30:7).
WhatifyoufeeltooweaktoaskHimanything,tooweakto
openyourheartatall?Ifthisisthecase,andyouarenot
deceiving yourself, then in such extreme sickness, it is
simplyenoughtoliestillandtotrusttoGodforananswer
towhatyouwouldhaveprayed,ifyoucould,butcannot.
HewillpourdownuponustheabundanceofHismercy 36.
When He has mercy, it will fall on us and we shall be
moistenedaswiththedew.Graduallyweshallbebathedin
ituntilitpenetratesintoeverypartofus.
Nothoughts,fearsorsinsneedmakeaseparationbetween
us and Him or lead us to imagine that because of them,
God's grace cannot reach our hearts. He will forgive us
thosethingswhereofourconscienceisafraid37.Heseesour
dark thoughts and how they separate us from Him, and
fromourbrothersandsistersandHeknowswhatafearful
trialtheyaretous.Heknowsthattheycomeoutofweak
nessand nervousness and about them too, He says: The
spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew
26:41).Inthedaysofhisflesh,Jesusofferedupprayersand
supplications,withloudcriesandtears,tohimwhowasable
tosavehimfromdeathandhewasheardbecauseofhisrever
ence.Althoughhewasason,helearnedobediencethrough
whathesuffered(Hebrews5:78).
Youarelearningobediencetoo,sodonotrefusethelesson.
Youmay,perhaps,havenoexcitingorpleasantthoughtsin
prayerbut,youcouldnothatesinifHehadnottaughtyou
todoso.HatingwhatGodhates,showslovetoHim.You
cannotlovewithyouraffections,lovewithyourwillor'will
yourselftolove'.Ifyoucannotloveasyouwouldliketo,do
36
CollectTwelfthSundayafterTrinity.
37
CollectTwelfthSundayafterTrinity.
114
what you can. If all love seems to have died within you,
cleavetoGodwithyourmindandunderstanding.
IftheideaofGodseemstoyourmind,asifitwereanidea
with no reality, if your prayers seem only words with no
substancesentidlyintotheetherandnotascendingtoGod;
ifthingsunseenseemtoyouareonlyadreamandthings
seen,theonlyreality;ifferventwordsdonotmoveyou,if
thoughts oflove do not set you on fire, ifthe passion of
Christdoesnottouchyou,donotgetdepressed.Outofthe
deepcrytoGodandHewillhearyourvoice38
Thoughheslayme,Iwillhopeinhim;yetIwillarguemy
waystohisface (Job13:15).Thesegreatandholywords
meanyetmore:"IfHeslaysme,IwilltrustinHim,'notal
thoughonly,butbecauseHeslaysme.
ItislifetobetouchedbythehandofGod.Tobeputto
deathbyHimis,throughtheCrossofChrist,thepledgeof
Resurrection.Mayourheartsbestrongandrenewedwhen,
athiscompassionatetouch,our'sinewshrinks?'39 Itisthe
Redeemer'shand,whichupholds,while,atthesametime,it
seemstocripple.Hishandstrengthensuswhileitseemsto
putforthHisstrengthagainstourweakness.ByHisstrength
wehavepowerwithGod,whilewecanonlyweepandmake
weakprayerstoHim.
Notsensiblecomforts,nordelightinprayer,nor Hisvery
voicetotheheart,nortokensofHispresence,northeover
flowingofHisconsolations,maybesuchaproofofHislove
for the soul, as the unseen, unfelt strength by which He
keepsthefaintingsoulalivetotrustinHim.Peopleinhealth
havelittleornoideaofwhatthestateofweaknessinvolves.
Theyliketotellthesickthattheymusthavesomuchtime
38
OutofthedeepIcrytoTheeisahymnofMartinLuther(14831546).
Sinewisusedtomakebows.Sinewmustbeshrunkthroughdryingto
becomeusefulformakingweapons.Thiscouldapplytomakingspiritual
weapons.
39
115
for prayer, that it is their vocation and that they are

prayermissionaries.
Howtheheartsofthesicksinkatthesewords.Somuch
time for prayer? Yes, you know that it may seem so, to
thosewhoknownothingofthetrialsofillness.Butyoualso
knowthatsometimesitseemsquiteimpossibletoprayat
all,andthatoftenthesheereffortrequiredforanycontinu
ousactoffixedattentionisimpossible.Youfallintodreamy
imaginations,prayerspassintomerethinkingorintotheen
tireabsenceofallthought.
Sometimes your condition keeps you from even realizing
God'spresenceatall.YoufeelthatyouareinHispresence
butasifyouwereasleepinHisarms,unabletothink,or
meditate,orpray,orrealizeanything.Youarejustconscious
ofthisandnothingelse.IaminHisarms.Heholdsme,He
isembracingme,surroundingmewithHislove,withHim
self.Butthenthethoughtcomes,"Howungratefulnotto
loveHimmore,nottospeaktoHimandto pouroutmy
complaintbeforehim.Itellmytroublebeforehim (Psalms
142:2).
TheansweristhatHeknowsthatyouwishthisjustasHe
knowsallyourheart.Heknowsthatitisagrieftoyouthat
youcannotdoit.Inthepathofyourjudgements,OLord,we
waitforyou.Yournameandremembrancearethedesiresof
oursoul(Isaiah26:8).Heknowsthatyoucannotgetbey
ondthat.Hewillnotexpectanythingofyouthatyoucannot
do,foritisHiswillthatyoushouldsufferasyoudo.Hehas
sentthetrial.
Inonesense,Heexpectslessofyouthanyoudoofyourself.
Heknowsthatitwouldbeapleasureforyoutofeelthat
youareinahigherstate.ButHewillblessandsanctifyto
youthetrialofbeinginalowerstate.Therefore,youmay
restinHislove(Zephaniah3:17).
116
Thatsamepeculiarstuporofmindextendstoeverythingso,
Isitnotthereforeofthebody? (1Corinthians12:15).Do
not attempt continuous acts of prayer when they are im
possible. Theyshalllaytheirhandsontheirmouths;their
earsshallbedeaf(Micah7:16).Doesnotthatverseexpress
silence?LetyoursoulbesilentuponGod(Psalms42:1AV).
Instillness,youwillfindGod. Andaftertheearthquakea
fire,buttheLordwasnotinthefire.Andafterthefire,the
soundofalowwhisper.(1Kings19:12)
Even when continuous prayer is impossible, it is often a
greathelptofixoncertaintopicsandtoremembereachone
atsomestatedtimeduringtheday. Trynot todomore
thanrememberthistopic.Thingofit,keepitinmind,bear
itonyourheartbeforeGod.Sothoughyoumaynotbeable
toprayforyourfriendsasyouwanttodo,youmayremem
bertheminyourheartandnamethemonebyone,before
yourFatherandyourFather,myGodandyourGod(John
20:17).
Donotmakeagreatefforttopray.Donotthinkabouthow
you are not praying, unless your prayers occupy a given
time,unlesstheyseemveryferventoryoufeeldelightin
them.
Lord,helpme(Matthew15:25).MyFather,thisisatime
ofneed:helpmenow.Graciouslylookuponourafflictions.Pi
tifully behold the sorrows of our heart. Forgive all my sin
(Psalms25:18).OGod,makespeedtosaveus.0Lord,make
hastetohelpus. Jesus,SonofDavid,havemercyonme!
(Luke18:38).Iamseverelyafflicted;givemelife,OLord,ac
cording to your word! (Psalms 119:107). Help me. Lord,
havemercyuponus.Christ,havemercyuponus (Bookof
CommonPrayer).
Thesesentences,andnumerousothers,willcometoyouas
needarisesandaboveall,theLord'sPrayerwillconveyyour
wantstoHim.Itwillbringyouasmuchpeaceandblessing
117
as the most lengthened prayer ever did in days of your

strengthandvigour.
Wemustremembertoothatitisnotourprayersalonethat
areoffered.Fortheyareallmouldedafreshforus,offered
again,byourIntercessorJesusChristandHisintercession
hasalsothisfurtherperfection.Itistheprayernotonlyof
Divine Love and knowledge, but of perfect human sym
pathy. ForwedonothaveaHighPriestwhoisunableto
sympathizewithourweaknessesbutonewhoineveryrespect
hasbeentemptedasweare,yetwithoutsin(Hebrews4:15).
What,asGod,Hecouldnevertaste,asMan,Jesustastedto
thedregs.Heknowsus,butasperfectMan.Themysterious
knowledgeofpersonalexperience,ofpersonalsufferingin
humanfleshwhichHegainedonearth,HestillhasinHeav
en. Even before the eternal throne, He has still a perfect
senseofourinfirmities,ofallthemysteryofhumansorrow
whichHelearnedonearth,fromthemangertotheCross.
ItisespeciallyinthisconnectionthatSt.Paulencouragedus
topray.Letusthenwithconfidencedrawneartothethrone
ofgrace,thatwemayreceivemercyandfindgracetohelpin
time of need (Hebrews 4:16). Out of this Perfect Love,
knowledge, and sympathy, He perpetually intercedes for
eachofus,accordingtoourtrialsandourcircumstances.
Nothingcancomeuponuswhichdoesnothaveitscounter
partandresponseinHisperfectcompassion.
WhileHepraysforus,Hefeelswithus.ToHimwemaygo,
astoOnewhoisalreadypleadingforus.ThroughHim,we
canapproachGodasifwithHisperfectmeritswhichHehas
givenus,forourown.Theyareours,becausetheyareHis.
BecausetheyareHis,thereforeHehasgiventhemtous.
Thoughyoucannotpray,TheLordisprayingforyou.Only
putyourselfintoHishandsandletHimpleadforyou.Give
yourselfuptoHim.IfyourwillisonewithHis,whatHe
askswillsurelybewhatyouwouldhavedesiredforyourself
118
if you hadhadthepower to ask or think. For He knows

everything.
Heknowshowbitteritistoyouwhenyourfriendsseemto
imagine that your timeis spent in prayer and meditation
andwhentheyseemtoberelyingonyourprayerstobring
downblessingsonthem.Youknowthatifyoutriedtoex
plainyoursituationtothem,theywouldeitherthinkthatit
was your humility that you would not declare your own
saintliness,ortheywouldthinkyouinaverybadspiritual
state indeed, and almost needing a complete change of
heart.
Donotbedepressed.GodHimselfisJudge!(Psalms50:6)
andYouknowwhenIsitdownandwhenIriseup;youdis
cernmythoughtsfromafar.Yousearchoutmypathandmy
lying down and are acquainted with all my ways (Psalms
139:23).YouwillaskHim,onceormoretimes,ifitpleases
Him to give you the spirit of prayer and of supplication
(Philippians4:6).
IfstillHeseesitnecessaryforyourdevelopment,tokeepit
fromyou,thenaskHimtoblessthetrialoratleasttolisten
toyourbreathingoryourgroaningandtogiveyouasense
thatHeislisteningtoyou,asenseofHispresenceandHis
nearness.If,foratimeeventhisblessingisdenied,ifyou
cannotfeelthatHeisnear,atleasttrytobelieveit.Ifyou
must say, Behold, I go forward, but He is not there, and
backward,butIdonotperceiveHim;onthelefthandwhen
He is working, I donot behold Him; He turns tothe right
hand,butIdonotseeHim (Job23:810).Trytosaytoo,
ButHeknowsthewaythatItake:andwhenHehastriedme,
Ishallcomeforthasgold(Job23:810).
Thoughyouare,indeed,inthishotfurnace,theRefineris
sittingnearby,watchingyouclosely.Henoticeseachportion
ofdross40 andimpurity,asitfallsaway.Youmaynotsee
Whenpreciousmetalsarerefined,theyareheatedtoahightemperature
inafurnacewhichseparatesouttheimpureelements(basemetals)
40
119
Him,butHeissittingnearby,watchingyoutenderlyandpa
tiently. He puts your tears into His bottle (Psalms 56:8)
eventhoughtheyareonly'tearsoftheheart'andneverex
pressedbytheeyes.Heseesthemall,andnotoneofthem
isforgottenbeforeGod(Luke12:6).
EvenifyouseemtoyourselftotallyforsakenbyGod,itcan
notbeworseforyouthanforJesus,whosaid,MyGod,my
God,whyhaveyouforsakenme?(Matthew27:46)Atleast,
He is with you in the deepest sympathy and with most
tenderpity.Yousay,OmyGod,Icrybyday,butyoudonot
answer,andbynight,butIfindnorest(Psalms22:2).
Youhaveputmeinthedepthsofthepit,intheregionsdark
anddeep.Yourwrathliesheavyuponme,andyouoverwhelm
mewithallyourwaves...Yourwrathhassweptoverme;your
dreadfulassaultsdestroyme. Theysurroundmelikeaflood
all day long; they close in on me together (Psalms
88:6,7,15,16).
ButyoucanneversaythewordsofChrist.Youcannotfeel
Lookandseeifthereisanysorrowlikemysorrow,whichwas
broughtuponme,whichtheLordinflictedonthedayofhis
fierceanger (Lamentations1:12)orthereisno grieflike
untomygrief41.ForthereisOne42whoboreyourgriefsand
carriedyoursorrows,andwhobearsthemnow.
Youdonotdaretodescribeyourtemptationsincaseyou
could besuggestingwaywardthoughtstosomeothersuf
fererinwhosemindtheyhavesofarfoundnoplace.Butdo
notfeartotellthemalltoHim.Notemptationthatcanas
sault you can be strange to Him because He Himself has
sufferedwhentempted,Heisabletohelpthosewhoarebeing
whicharecalled'dross'.Thisleavespuresilverorpuregoldbehindin
TheRefiner'sfire.
FromTheSacrificebyGeorgeHerbertsee
www.poemhunter.com/poem/thesacrifice2
41
TheburdenChristcarriesistobearourgrief,inadditiontoHisown
(andthatofalltheredeemed).
42
120
tempted(Hebrews2:18).InthosefortydaysintheWilder
ness, every form of temptation came before Him. Do not
feartolayopeneverythingtoHimsincethedeviltempted
HimtothrowHimselffromapinnacleoftheTemple.He
overcamethetempterinorderthattheywhotrustinHim
mightneverbeovercome,byHisowntemptations.
Muchofthefailuretoprayinyourcase,isowingtophysical
suffering,toextremeexhaustion,tohavinglostthepowerof
judgingjustly,ofseeinghowthingstrulyare.This,perhaps,
seemspoorconsolationanditisbettertosayyoucannotun
derstandyourself.Donottrytounderstandyourselfasyou
will only get into endless perplexities. So do not reason
aboutmysteries.Donotquestionyourselfaboutyourstate
beforeGod,butlayitopen.Openyourheart,openyourself,
openyourwill,beforeHim.Wordsarenotnecessary.
GodonlywantsyoutoofferyourselfandtoletHimdowith
youasHeseesbest.Sometimesitisagreathelptousethe
prayersoftheChurch,theCollects,ortheServiceforthe
VisitationoftheSick43.Donotthinkitmustbereadina
formalwayorthatitisaveryformalthingtohavesetpray
ersoraServiceonpurposetoreadtothesickwhenyouvis
itthem.
WouldtheChurchhaveprovidedforallhermembersifshe
hadfurnishednoServicefortheSick?Surelyshecouldnot
ifshewereatruemothernotdoso.Themoreyoustudythe
ServicefortheVisitationoftheSickthemoreyouwillfindit
adaptedtoyourneeds.
ThisServiceteachesinawonderfulmannerwhatthetrials,
temptations,duties,responsibilitiesandblessingsofsickness
are.Thewholemeaningandpurposeofsicknessisillumin
ated.SincetheCollectsareshortandthewordsexactlyex
press thewants of thesick, they are the greatest help to
prayerforallthosewhoarewillingtousethem.
43
TheServicefortheVisitationoftheSickispublishedintheAppendix.
121
2.16AbsenceofWork
Sickpeopleareeitherinsuchasituationthattheirworkis
verydemandingbutseemsfarbeyondtheirstrength;orelse
theyarelaidasidefromallworkandconstantlydistressed
becausetheyareuseless,orsotheysuppose.
Perhaps you may be able to trace a connection between
somepartofyourtrialandpasttimesandfindthemclosely
linkedtogether?Haveyoueverdiscoveredhowwonderfully
thisorthataspectofsicknessislikeachastisementforpast
sins?
Ifyouarenowcalledtowork,inthemidstofgreatweak
ness,wearinessandsuffering,weretherenostrongdesires
forworkinthepastwhenitwasGod'swillthatyoushould
be idle and quite laid aside. Did you then recognize that
stateasthewillofGod,asonetobedesiredandtogive
thanksfor,becauseitwasHiswill?Wereyourestlessunder
that discipline? Did you ever cryout, Oh if Icouldonly
havework!Iwasneverformedforidleness.Mydeepand
earnest desire was work to glorify God, but it is all des
troyed,allmydreamsarebroken.ButIhavenolessdesire
todoit.IcouldworksomuchmorepurelynowthanIcould
orwouldhavedonethen.Indeed,Ihaveinthepastprayed
to be sanctified completely (1 Thessalonians 5:23) but I
never expected that He would answer my prayers in this
way?
Wasthereneveratimewhensuchthoughtscametoyou?
DidyouneverbeatagainstthecageinwhichtheLordhad
shutyouup,andtrytobreakyourwayout?Didyounever
sooccupyyourselfwithcomplainingthatyoumissedmany
preciouslessonsanddidnothearHisstillsmallvoice(1
Kings19:12)?DoyounotknowthatthisisHisownvisita
tion,Hisowncominghometoyou,totalkwithyouinyour
ownbedroom,whereHecanfindyoustill?
122
If,inthepast,insteadofbeingstillandcommuninginyour
own heart (Psalms 4:4), you were complaining, can you
wonderifHesaidatlastthatHewouldgrantyourrequest?
PerhapsHehasanswereditjustasyouaskedandhasgiven
youwork.Butnowtheworkseemsbeyondyourstrength.
Well,donotcomplain.Hehassimplyheardyourcriesfor
moreholinessandworktoglorifyHimandhasshownat
onceHisfatherlycorrectionandforgiveness,bysendingyou
work,andwithit,suffering.
Godsawthatyoucouldnotbeartheworkonitsown.It
wouldhavemadeyouproud,highmindedandindepend
ent. You would never have known yourself or how much
youwantedtheworktoglorifyyou,forthesakeofdoingit
andfortheveryloveofactivity.
Hesawitallandsaid,You shallhave yourdesireyou
shallhavework;butwithityoumusthaveaconstanttestof
yourworkandofyourmotives.Ifyoureallywishtoserve
me,thenhereistheworkwhichIgiveyoutodo.Willyou
doitforthelovewhichyoubearmebecauseyoulovemy
service?Itwillcostyouverymuchsuffering,butitisyour
ownchoice.
Receiveworkthennow,receiveitall,anddonotfalterfrom
anything.DonotcomplainbutHumbleyourselves,therefore,
underthemightyhandofGodsothatatthepropertimehe
may exalt you (1 Peter 5:6). You are being humbled as
chastisement, as punishment, but at the same time give
heartythankstoAlmightyGodfortheworkwhichHegives
youtodo.DoitbeforeHissight,asrenderingservicewitha
goodwillastotheLordandnottoman(Ephesians6:7).Do
itcheerfully,thankfully,submissively,humblyandtakeeach
littlethingaspartofit,astheexpressionofthewillofGod
towardsyou.Takeitpatiently,penitentiallyandsilently,of
fering upyour willtoGod asa living sacrifice(Romans
12:1).
123
Becarefulhowyouturnyourblessingsintoburdens.Rejoice
thathehasmadeyou worthyofhiscalling(2Thessaloni
ans1:11)andifatthesametimeHecallsyoutosuffer,be
lievethatyoucouldnotdoyourworkproperlyorassafely,
if you had not at the same time received suffering to
chasten,humbleandsubdueyouandtomakeyouworkall
yourworks,inGod.
Itisveryfrustratingtofeeldaybydaysocrushedandop
pressed,asifthelifeofyourspiritwerebeingpressedoutof
it.Buttakecarehowyoucomplain.Youractivespiritwould
surelyfeelitahundredtimesagreatertrialifyouwerenot
allowedtoworkatallbutcalledtoliestill.
BewareofcomplainingandmurmuringagainstGod,incase
Godshould answeryouinyourfolly (Proverbs22:5)and
give you the thing which you have thought you would
prefer.Rememberthatyourworkcomesonlymomentby
moment and just as surely as God calls you to work, He
givesthestrengthtodoit.
Donotthinkinthemorning,HowshallIgetthroughthe
day?Ihavesuchandsuchworktodo,peopletosee,andI
donothaveenoughstrengthforit. Noyoudonothave
enoughstrength,butyoudonotneedit.
Eachmoment,asyouneedit,thestrengthwillcome.Donot
lookforwardevenanhour.Circumstancesmaybeverydif
ferentfromwhatyouexpect.Youwillbecarriedthrough
eachthingoneagles'wings(Isaiah40:31).Donotworry
yourselfinadvancebuttakeeachthingquietly,asitcomes.
Nothingissuchahelptoanyone,butabovealltothesick,
as quietness of spirit, selfcontrol and presence of mind.
Theyshouldbecultivated.Wehavetoregretthatwenever
cultivatedthesethingsinourearlierlife.Itwillmakethe
conflict harder now, but with God, nothing is impossible
(Luke1:37)andHecanworkinustowillandtodoofHis
owngoodpleasure(Philippians2:13).
124
Doyousometimescryoutinternally,Oh,thatIhadwings
likeadove!Iwouldflyawayandbeatrest(Psalms55:6).
Becontent.Thereremainsarest(Hebrews4:9)foryou,
aninheritancethatisimperishable,undefiled,andunfading,
keptinheavenforyou(1Peter1:4).Waitalittlewhileand
you shall enter it For still the vision awaits its appointed
time;ithastenstotheenditwillnotlie.Ifitseemsslow,wait
forit;itwillsurelycome;itwillnotdelay(Habbakuk2:3).
Inthemeantime,rememberthatForwewhohavebelieved
enterthatrest(Hebrews4:3).LetusenterintoGod.Heis
ourrest,andHesays:Cometome,allwholabourandare
heavyladen,andIwillgiveyourest(Matthew11:28).Letus
lookuponallourburdensaslaiduponusbyHim,ouryoke
asHisyoke,whichislight,becauseHebearsitwithandfor
usandtakesoffalltheheaviestpartoftheweightfromus.
LetusregardallourcircumstancesastheexpressionofHis
will,asHisownvoicespeaking.Thiswillgivethemasacred
characterandbethesurestantidotetocomplaints.
Theoppositetrial,theabsenceofalldirectemployment,no
apparentwork,isnolesstrying.Itisimpossibletosaythat
onestateishardertobearthantheother,asitdependsen
tirelyonthecharacter,circumstancesandhabitsoftheindi
vidual.Toone,alifeofactivity,underanycircumstances,
maybelesstryingthanalifeofmeresickness.Toanother,
workorresponsibilityaresuchburdensthattheywouldal
mostprefertodonothingthanbeinastatewhichinvolved
thesethings.
Itisveryfoolishandsinfulinsickpeopletocomparetheir
lotsandsay,Howmuchhardermineistobearthanyours!
Youarequitefreeofsuchandsuchtrials,whicharetome
soveryhardtobear.IfIhadsuchandsuchathing,which
youhave,Icouldbearanything.Yoursissuchausefullife
but mine so entirely useless. One person may say, You
haveworktodo.IfIhadonlythat,alltherestwouldbe
125
easytobear.Anothermaysay,HowIenvyyouthequiet
andrestthatisgiventoyou!Mycrossishavingnone.
Whyshouldwewonderifthisiswhathappens?Theheart
knowsitsownbitterness,andnostrangersharesitsjoy(Pro
verbs14:10).ThisisknowledgefortheheartaloneandHim
whosearchestheheart.Yes,eachperson'sdeepestgriefis
hidden from theeyes of his neighbour. Sickness no more
makestrialssimilar,orcharacterssimilar,thanhealthdoes.
Ifyouwantedrestwhenyouhadworkgivenyoutodo,if
yousometimeslongedforsicknesstogiveyou,asyouima
gined,timeandspacetoserveGod,ifyouoftencomplained
that you hadno time, groaned under the burdenof your
workanddidnotdoitwithafreeandgladheart,thendo
notbesurprisedifyouhavetheanswertoyourcravings(for
they were scarcely prayers). You wished for rest and you
haveit.
Seek to improve this period and season of trial. Do not
spendyourtimeindesultorydesiresforvagueblessingsbut
earnestlyaskGodtoletmeknowwhyyoucontendagainst
me(Job10:2).WatchtoseewhatHewillsaytoyouand
whatyoushallanswerwhenyouarereproved(Habbakuk
2:2).Thereismuchforyoutodo,eveninthisstate.
SoliestillandHewillbeyourTeacher.Donotletthevoice
ofdiscontentorsadnessdrownoutHisvoice.AskHimto:
Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of
knowledge (Proverbs 23:12). Answer all questionings and
silenceallsadthoughtswith:ItisthewillofGod.
2.17Anniversaries
Therearefewwhohavebeenchronicallyillforalongtime
whodo not have a dread of all anniversaries. The whole
characteroftheirlifehaschanged,the'clouds'seemtohave
'gathered'andthebrightspotsoflifearefew.Thosedays
and festive seasons which once looked bright and joyous
126
andwelcome,now,whentheycomeroundwiththeseasons
again,seemtobefulloftrouble(Job14:1).Anniversaries
bringtomindthethingsthatwerebrightandjoyous,butno
longerare.
There was the unbroken family then, voices to be heard
which are no longer heard44, except in one's saddened
memory.Therewasprecioussympathytobereceived,joyful
greetingsandthesharingofjoy.Lifelookedbrightandthe
gladspiritcountedjoyonjoy.Youexpectedonlybrighter
joys and blessings yet to come. There was no thought of
such changes then. But years passed and possibly, friend
afterfriendpassedonandtheirlossmadethislifesadder
andmorelonely.Thenthesicknesscameandyourlifewas
completelyaltered.Nowtheseasonscomeroundagainand
oftentheyonlyseemtomockone'ssorrow.
Yourbirthdayreturnsyetagain.Itusedtobeagladdaybut
nowyoudreadit.Why?Perhapsbecauseittellsyouthatan
otheryearhaspassed,anotherlongyearofsicknessandyou
arestillhereinyourroom,justthesame,nohopeofbeing
better,withnobrighterthingsahead.
Yourbirthdaymorningarrives.Itsaddensyoutohearthe
usualgreetingsManyHappyReturns!Actually,youwould
prefernomore"returns".Youdonotacceptthattheycanbe
"happy".Youthink,Whyupsetmelikethis?Don'tremind
meofmybirthday.Pleaseletthisdaygounnoticed.
Ifyoufeelthis,youaremuchmistaken.Infact,youwould
notlikeittopassunnoticed.Youwouldfinditpureinsensit
ivityifnoonenoticedit,ifnoonecaredaboutyou.Donot
turn it away without love as if you were annoyed. These
birthday wishes are meant in true kindness. Receive the
greetingsheartily,pretendtheygiveyoupleasureandthen
ItishardnottoreadthischapterwithoutsensingthatPriscillaMaurice
isthinkingoftheloss,inthefirstbloomofyouth,ofhersister,Emma
andoftheircousin,allChristianbelieversofthesamekind.
44
127
thinkwhetherthereisanyreasonwhythisshouldbeaglad
dayforyou.
Yourbirthday:whatisthat?Well,itistheanniversaryofthe
daythatyouwerebornintothisworldofsorrow.Yes!But
whatisit?Wasitnotthedayinwhichlifebeganinyou,life
whichshallwelluptoeternallife?Wouldyounowhavethe
assuranceoftheblessingofeverlastinglife,ifyourlifehad
notbegunhereonearth?Wemakeamistakeinseparating
thislifefromthatwhichistocome.Itisallonething.Life
begunhereandiscarriedonintoeternity.Therefore you
shouldgivethanksforyourcreation,foryourbirthday.
Think again what you would be, without this sickness.
WouldyouunderstandthecharacterofourLord,Theman
ofsorrows(Isaiah53:3)WouldyounotbesounlikeallHis
people,withwhomyouhopetoliveforever?
Youshouldrejoice,then,inthis,yourtimeofsufferingand
welcomeeveryreturnofthedayofyourbirth,asadayof
blessing?Letyourbirthdaybeahappyday,adayofthanks
givingforyourcreationandpreservation,andallthebless
ingsofthislife45.
Even though you meet your birthday, separated from the
family,rejoiceinalltheirlovingattemptstouniteyouwith
it, and receive their greetings gladly until they become a
partofyourselfandmakeyouglad.
Theanniversaryofthebirthdayorofthedepartureofoneof
yourdearestearthlytreasurescomes.Itseemstoyouasa
dayofpuresadness.Howwillyoufaceit?Iftheywerehere
you would not be alone, and your sickness would be
cheered.Youwouldhavetheirconstantsympathy.Theyun
derstoodyou.Theyknewthesorrowsandthelonelinessof
sickness.Theyalwayshadwordsoftendernessandofen
couragement for you. But this person has gone. Gone
45
FromthePrayerofGeneralThanksgiving,TheBookofCommonPrayer
128
where?Intoeternity?Thentheyarenotfarfromyou.You
knownothownear.
Donotcountthedeadas'gone'.Itisonlytheirconversation
thathasceased.Youcanholdcommunionwiththemeven
nowandyouneednotbeseparatedfromthem.Yourvery
sicknessmaybringyounearertothembecause,beingcut
off from your fellow humans, you can live closer to their
holycompanyandwithfewerinterruptions.
Youcanmaketheiranniversarieslikeholydays,dayswhich
draw you nearer to God and to the unseen world. Then,
gradually, these days will lose their sadness and have a
peacefulcharacterinstead.
Seasons,too,aregreattrialstothesickandthelonely.The
NewYearcomesandbringsitsownnoteofsorrow.What
hasbeensaidofbirthdaysappliestoo,tothatday.
HowcanChristmasDaybeahappydayforasickperson?
CanitbekindtowishthemChristmasjoysandChristmas
blessings? Christmas is that glad time of family meetings
whichtheycannotshare.Christmas,theseasonoffestivity.
Howcanitbeahappyseasontothem?Surely,aboveall
seasonsitremindsthemofdepartedjoysandtellsthemthat
thedayshavearrivedinwhichtheysaythattheyhaveno
pleasureinthem(Ecclesiastes12:1).
YettherearetwowaysofenjoyingChristmaswhichallsick
peoplecansharein.Oneistoenjoyitforandwithothers,to
behappybecauseothersarehappy;Rejoicewiththosewho
rejoice,weepwiththosewhoweep (Romans12:15)andto
maketheirpleasureyourown.Enjoythefamilymeetingfor,
andwithothers,becausetheyareenjoyingit,toloseoneself
inthem.
Theotherwayis,torememberwhatChristmasis:itisthe
celebrationofthebirthdayofourLordandSaviourJesus
Christ.ThedayonwhichHecameintothisworldandbe
came acquaintedwithgrief (Isaiah53:3AV).Thedayon
129
which He began to take upon Him weakness, suffering,

feeblenessandhelplessness,onwhichHetookourillnesses
andboreourdiseases(Matthew8:17).Christmasisthetime
whenHebegantoknowwhatloneliness,lackofsympathy
andbeingmisunderstoodbyothersreallymeant.Theday
onwhichHecametoredeemusfromsin,totakeawaythe
curse,thatcursewhichinvolvessickness.
SurelyChristmasDayisadayonwhichsickpeople should
rejoiceandbeglad.TheyshouldwelcomeChristmasasa
joyful day. If they cannot go to church andworship with
others,shouldtheynotbemoreindependentoftheneedfor
churchworshiponthis,thanonanyotherday,becausethe
thoughtswhichtheyneedarestimulatedbywhatisgoing
onaroundthem,bythedecorationsintheirroom,byChrist
masgreetings,bythefestivitiesaround?Letusthenbeglad
andrejoiceandkeepaHappyChristmas.
Forsome,Lentisaveryunhappyseason.Theycannotgoto
churchnorcanmakeanoutwardpenancealthoughitisa
timeofhumiliation.Theysaythatperhapstheyoughttodo
somethingandyetwhatcantheydo?Thewholeseasonof
Lentisaweightandaburdentothem,atimeofsadness.
Itisbestgenerallynottoattemptmuchabstinenceduring
Lentandnottobeanxiousbecauseyoucandosolittle.You
mayfindsomesmallthingtodo,enoughtokeepyoumind
fuloftheseason.Itmaybesomelittleabstinence,whichof
courseyouwillconsiderityourdutynottoallowtointer
ferewiththeprogressofyourrecovery.
Letitbesomethingwhichwillneitherdoyouanyharm,or
weakenyou.Itcouldbesomelittlegoodworkdoneregu
larly. It may be some little selfdenial. Each person must
judgeaccordingtocircumstances.
Aseasonofhumiliationisespeciallyonewhichshouldcome
hometoyourheart,notasoneofsadness,butasamirrorof
yourownsituation,suitedtoremindyouofthemeaningof
130
sickness and its humiliation. This season ends and passes

intooneofjoyandthanksgiving.
HaveyounopartinEaster?Isittoogladforyou?Surely
Easter meansmuchmoretoyou?PassionWeekspeaks to
youofHisdeathwhichhasredeemeddeathforyou,and
openedthekingdomofHeaventoallbelievers46.Theglor
ious assuranceofyourownresurrectionfollows thisHoly
Week. Jesus rose from the dead as a sure token that we
shall,ifwearefoundinHim(Philippians3:9)risetoo.Let
usrejoiceandgivethanksandriseoutofthe'grave'ofall
oursadness,beseateduswithhimintheheavenlyplacesin
Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6). We can pass through it re
freshedandthankful,hopingthatwhenafewmoreEasters
havepassed, we shall have finished our days of suffering
andshallrisewithHimtolifeeternal47.
OnAscensionDay,WhitSundayandalltheFeastDaysof
theChurch,wefindfreshreasonsforrejoicingandgofrom
steptostep,risinghigherabovethedarknessandsorrowof
life,findingjoy,oratanyratenopainfulsadnessineachan
niversary,whetheritbelongstoourownindividuallife,or
tothatoftheuniversalChurch.
2.18FamilyandFriends
In this life, pleasures and pains are so closely connected,
thatoftenthethingswhichbringthegreatestenjoymentare
alsothemost'fruitful'sourcesoftrial.
Althoughwederiveourgreatestearthlyhappinessfromthe
kindnessandloveofourfamilyandfriends,theycancause
usthemosttrial.Theirvisitsareoftenagreatdiscontent
anddisappointmenttothesick.Peoplemaybeinahurry
and before you have overcome the excitement of seeing
them, they have left. Or they may come at just the time
46
FromtheTeDeum(seealsofootnote30)
47
SeereferencesinJohn5:2829
131
whenyoufeelleastabletoenjoytheirvisitwhenyouwere
very weak, or morethan usually ill. Or your friends may
seemabsentmindedandyoumaythinkthemcoldandun
kind,lackinginsympathy,uncaringforyourcircumstances.
Ortheirconversationmaybeverylackingininterestorthey
mayhavetouchedongreatrangeofsubjectsandyetelabor
atedonnone?Theoutcomeisthatyoufeelweariedanddis
satisfied. You know that nothing is more exhausting than
thiskindofvisit,especiallyifthetalkhasbeentoomuch
aboutpeople,ormerepassingevents,orgossip.
Or, your friends may have stayed with you much longer
thanyouhadstrengthfor,thoughatthestartyoureallyen
joyedtheircompany.Finally,youbecomesowearythatyou
loseyourpleasureinthevisitifnotinthem.
Intheirkindnesstheymayhaveurgedyoutomakeaneffort
whichyouknowisimpossibleandyoumaythinkthatthey
do not understand you and feel almost angry with them.
Youpartwiththemwithanestrangedfeeling,which,ifitis
notresisted,increases.Oryoumayfeelconstrainedinyour
conversationorthat,withalmosteveryvisitor,thereissome
subjecttobeavoided,sothatallfrankdiscussionispreven
ted.
Butsurelythisisatrialwhichbelongstothoseinhealthas
muchastoyou?Thoseinhealthcomemoreintocollision
withothersandsufferfromthistrialmorethanyoudo.But
youare"laidaside"sothatyouhave timetothinkabout
things,seethingsseparatelyfromothers.Therefore,itseems
toyouasifyourlotisaverytryingandisolatedone.
Thesubjectofseeingpeopleisaverydifficultoneforthe
sick.Somearequiteexhaustedbythemanypeopletheysee.
Itisanincessantburdenupontheirresources,adistraction
totheirmindsandtakesupthebestoftheirtime.Tosome
thisisagreatenjoyment.Theyenjoythewearing'thin'of
theirenergiesinthisway.
132
Toothersseeingtoomanypeoplecomesintheformofreal,
constanttrial,adailycross.Iftheycouldchoosetoseeonly
certainpeople,andatcertaintimes,theywouldindeedfeel
thankfulforit.Butifcircumstancesmakeitplainthatthisis
their"calling",theyhavenorighttotrytoalterit,ortocom
plainaboutit.Theyshouldlearnhowtowelcomeeachper
sonasthepresentmessagesenttothembyGod,fortheir
profit,eithertohelporblessthem,ortotesttheirpatience,
faith,hope,andlove,todevelopinthemthesethings.
Avisitormaybesentto"receive"fromasickpersonminis
triesofconsolation,helporwarning.Ifitisplainlymarked
outthatitisyourdutytoseesomeone,thatyouarecalled
todoso,thendonotavoidthesuffering.Itmaycostyou
preciousenergybutdeliveritasyouhaveoftendonebefore,
asa livingsacrifice (Romans12:1AV).AskGodtobless
thevisitinwhateverwayHeseesbest:Donotneglectto
show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have enter
tainedangelsunawares(Hebrews13:2).
Some people willtellyou that you look particularlywell,
just when you are suffering the most. Others say, How
muchbetteryoulookthanwhenIsawyoulast!whenyou
knowandfeelthatyouhavebeengrowingworse.
Somesay,YoulooksomuchbetterthanIexpectedtosee
you;youreyesaresobright,andyoulooksocheerful,you
cannotsurelybesufferingasmuchasyousay,whenyou
wellknowhowgreattheeffortistobecheerful.TheEnemy
offersthethoughttoyou,AmIthentobepunishedforthe
verythingswhichIdobecauseitseemstomeaChristian
dutytodothem?"
No,notpunished,buttested.SatantemptedJob,butGod
permittedit,forhisprofit,andsoitiswithyou.Donotbe
downhearted.Notwopeoplewillgivethesameopinionof
yourappearanceorstate.Somewilltellyouthatyoulook
better,tocheeryou,others,fromignorance,becausethey
donotrememberhowyoulookedwhentheysawyoulast.
133
Theythinktheyhavetosaysomething.Otherswilldoitbe
causeoftheirownmoodofmindatthetime.Ifallthings
lookbrighttothem,theyimagineyoulookbetter,orthere
verse. Others think that you are only nervous and that
theycanbringyououtofitbycheeringyouup,thatyouare
deceivingyourselfandothers,byyourdelusionsandima
giningsaboutyourhealth.
People'swordsandopinionsareoftenverytryingtothesick
andcausegreatsearchingofheartinthem.Yettheyreally
oughtnottobelistenedtomuch,ortocausethesickany
distress.
Looksespecially,arenorealguides.Peopleoftenlookthe
bestwhentheyarethemostillandthereverse.Somuchde
pendsonnaturalappearanceorcomplexion,andonmany
othercauses.
Donotthinkyourfriendsunlovingorunkind,iftheynever
ask how you are, or show any anxiety about you. Some
peopledothisinmistakenkindness.Theythinkthatitonly
bringsyourillnessbeforeyouorpainsyouorannoysyou.It
istruethatsomesickpeoplehaveagreatdislikeofbeing
asked how they are, for various reasons. Sometimes, it is
fromamerefeelingofdespondency,almostdespair.They
haveonlythesameoraworsetaletotellandtheyhatethe
tale.Sometimes,itisfromadislikeofbeingremindedof
theirstate.Sometimesitisbecausetheyfancythatitshows
anabsenceofselfishnessnottospeakofthem.Sometimes,
itisthattheydonotwanttheirillnesstobeknownortalked
of and willnot therefore put people in possession of any
meansofdoingso.Somedrawbackfrombeingnoticedor
havecomplaintsthattheywishtoconceal.
Alltheseare'morbid'feelingsandthelasttwooftenleadto
deception.Itisbesttoanswerbrieflyandsimply.Itiseasy
toseewhetherpeopleask,forthesakeofpolitenessorbe
causetheytakearealinterestinyou.Givetotheformeras
briefananswerasisconsistentwithcourtesy.Answerthe
134
questionsofthelatterastheyareasked,kindlyandfreely
and,assoonasyoucan,politely,changetheconversation.
Donotgetintoahabitoftalkingmuchofyourselforofyour
complaints.Itisveryharmfulandproducesahabitofself
contemplation,whichmakesyouburdensometoothersand
thehabitwillgrow.Therearetimeswhenitisgoodtotalk
aboutyourselfwiththosewhowellunderstandusandcan
analyseourfeelingsforus,thosewhocanadviseusandwill
rebukeuswhenweareselfindulgent.
Trytocultivateselfcontrolinallyourwords,looks,andac
tions.Donotshowthepainyouaresuffering,morethan
you can help in your expression, as it is surprising how
much habit and discipline may do on this point. Be very
carefulalsohowyoudescribeyourpain.Neverexaggerateit
inanywayforthisissuretoincreaseitsrealityforyou.Also,
exaggerationissin.
Concealyourpainfromgeneralobserversasmuchasyou
can,inword,look,andaction.Donotcountyourfriends
unlovingiftheytellyouoff,oreveniftheyseemtoyouto
scoldyousharply.Receivetheirreproofsasthetruesttoken
ofloveandfaithfulness,Faithfularethewoundsofafriend
(Proverbs27:6). Wouldtheyshowtheirloveby suffering
sinuponyou(Leviticus19:17)?
Yourfirstimpulsemaybetoresentitortothinkitisvery
unkindandinsensitive,addingtoyoursufferinginsteadof
tryingtolessenit.Oryoumaybetemptedtoanswerfret
fullyandangrily.Ifyoudo,youwillprobablydepriveyour
selfoftheblessinganothertime.
Sickpeoplearesometimesupsetbyanyone sayingitpos
siblethattheycanbeinawrongstateofmindorareindul
ginginwrongreactions.Sometimestheythinkthatevery
oneoughttobearwithwhateverfaultstheyexhibitandthat
theyhaveenoughexcuseforthem,intheirpainorinthetri
alsofillness.
135
WouldyouputthispleaorexcusebeforeGodonthegreat
anddreadfuldayofJudgement?(Joel2:31)Howthencan
youuseitnow?Isnotthepresenttimetheseasonofprepar
ationforthatawfulhour?Isnotyoursicknesssenttohelp
you in preparation for that? Would you then refuse this
goodgiftofGod,bymakingitanexcuseforsin?
No,surelyyouwillseektobemoreandmorethankfulto
thosefriendswhoimitatetheexampleoftheChurchand
teachthatexhortation48isthetruecomfort.
Donotmeasuretheloveofyourfriendsbytheirwords,or
alwaysbytheirdeeds,buttakeeachpersonnaturally,ac
cordingtotheircharacters.Expectnothingfromthembut
whatisreasonable,whichistobejudgedofbytheirhabits.
Donotexpectthemtodepartfromtheseforyou,ortolook
upontheirnotdoingsoasanypersonalslight.
Ifyouareinthehousewithmanypeople,someofthemmay
rarelycometoseeyou,unlesssomespecialoccasionbrings
them.Othersmaycomedailyormore frequently. Donot
judgethembythesethingsbutbywhatyouknowoftheir
character as a whole. Seek to be as little upset by these
thingsasyoupossiblycanbe,whichwillbefarbeyondwhat
youcanimagine,untilyoutrytolearnandpracticeselfdis
cipline.
Donotexpressdisappointmentatfriendsnotcomingmore
frequentlytoseeyou,excepttothosepeopletowhomyou
seethatyourdoingsogivespleasure,andmakesthemfeel
thatyouliketheirsociety.Atanyrate,donotshowthatit
hasgivenyoupain.For,ifyourfriendsareshy,reserved,or
lazyandthesehavebeenthecausesoftheirabsence,you
willonlydrivethemfurtherfromyouandhinderpleasant
conversationwhenyoucanhaveitbutitwillgiveanawk
wardnessandconstraintbothtoyourselfandtothem.
48
Exhortationmeansadmonishing,urgingsomeonetodowhatisgood.
136
Be careful not to find fault or to be displeased, if your

friendsdonottellyoueverythingthathappensinthefamily
orallthatintereststhem.Believethatitistheirwishtogive
youpleasurebutiftheyforgettotellyouthings.itisthe
sameforthemasforyou.Theyforgetwhattheyintendedto
sayattherighttime,whentheyarewithyou.
Donotthinkthemunkindiftheydonotalwaysproposeto
seeyouwhentheyvisit.Youcannotexpectalwaysandatall
timestobeborneinmind.Withthekindestandbestfriend
thiswillnothappen,exceptveryrarely.Itwillspoilallyour
relationshipwithyourfriendsandbeasmuchforyourtrial,
asfortheirs,ifyouexpectsuchathing.
Beverythankfulandshowyourselfpleasedwheneverany
kindness,howevertrivial,isshowntoyou,whenever,inany
way you are drawn into the range of their pleasures and
pursuits.Alwaysaccepteachthingcheerfullyandpleasantly.
Nothingissolikelytosecurearepetitionofthepleasure.If
itisnotquiteagreeableorconvenienttoyouorwhatyou
like,trytohidethat,andacceptthegoodwillofyourfriend.
Whenfriendscometovisityou,thisalsohasitstrials.Some
timesyoumayhavemadeagreatefforttoseethem,andin
bodyandmindbepainfullyconsciousoftheeffort.Youmay
feelthatyouhaveintendeditasakindnesstowardsthemor
you mayhavedonesomeact ofkindness andit mayfall
quiteflat.Donotbediscouraged,assuchtrialsarecommon
tomankind.Sickpeoplecannotexpecttobeexemptfrom
them.
Oryoumaybeginaconversation,hopingtofinditasubject
ofgreatinteresttoyourfriend,asitis,perhaps,toyou.Orit
maybesomesubjectwhichisdeeplyinterestingtoyouat
thetime,butitmaybereceivedcoldlyorabstractedly,or
dropped at once, as if it had no meaning in it for your
friend. These things are a great trial but receive them as
such.Donotletthemmakeyoumoroseordiscontentedor
selfishly shut up in yourself, so that you do not want to
137
reachoutagain,incaseyoushouldbutsufferrejectionand
pain.
Donotsay,Ihaveenoughtrialwithoutthis.Surelythey
mightrememberthatIamill,cutofffromthepleasuresof
society, from general relationships. No, you have not
enoughorthiswouldnothavebeenadded.Itisonlylife
thatyouareexperiencing.Youaretriedinthiswaylessfre
quently than otherswho come intoconstant contact with
manypeople.
Rememberthis:Lovebearsallthings(1Corinthians13:7).
Remembertoo,thatmeresicknessdoesnotexerciseusin
manynecessarypoints.Itistheseaddedtrialsthattestus.
Theyaretohumbleus(Deuteronomy8:2).Besides,you
saythatyouwishtohavemoreparticipationinlife.Donot
draw back from a sharein theselesser sharpness of our
commongrieves.Donotthinkyourfriendsunreasonableif
theyexpecttoomuchfromyou.Perhapstheyexpect,orthey
seemtoyoutothink,thattheyshallneverseeanyindica
tionofdiscontent,irritabilityorlackofcheerfulnessinyou.
Theythinkthatillnessissenttodoyougoodandtheyex
pecttoseethegoodcropspringingupinwhatisreallythe
seedtime.Iftheyaretruefriends, theymay,perhaps,re
buke you, not, as it seems to you, very reasonably and
gently.Eitheryougrowangry,orelseyousayinyourheart,
Howunreasonable!Surelysicknessonlystirsupalltheevil
thatisinmeanddoesnotsubdueit.ItisveryhardwhenI
amstrugglingallthedaylongthatIshouldmeetwithsuch
unreasonabletreatment.Itisindeedaverytryingbutisit
quiteasunreasonableasitseemstoyou?
Ifyourfriendhasnotbeeninyourcircumstances,cansheor
hegraspthem?Sheorheisreasoningusingthecommon
beliefthatsickpeopleoughttobegentlerandmoreloving
andtodemonstratethefruitsoftheSpiritmorethanothers
do.Toagreatextentthisistrue,but,likemoststatements,
itisnotthewholetruth.
138
Donotthinkthemunkind,iftheyurgeyoutomakeanef
fortwhichyoufeeltobequitebeyondyourpower.Donot
resentitasunkindness,butbelievethatitwasintendedfor
yourrealgood.Perhapsitwasmadebythefearofyourfall
ingintogreaterdepthsofillness,orthefearofyourbecom
ingaconfirmedinvalid,or,whatisworse,aneuroticpa
tient.Listentothemquietlyandpatiently. Saygentlythat
youhaveoftenmadesuchattemptsandalwaysfindyourself
theworseforthem,butthatyouwillgladlytryagainifthey
wishit,oryouwillaskyourPhysician'sadviceaboutit,at
thefirstopportunity.Ifyouarereallyawarethatyouaredo
ingtheutmostthatyouhavepowertodothenjustbecon
tent to be misunderstood and take it patiently. Tell
everything to Him who never misunderstands and who
readsyourheart.
Donotexpectfriendstotellyoueverylittlethingthatyou
would like to hear. Perhaps they have mentioned these
thingsalreadytootherpeopleandmaynotrecallthatthey
havenotmentionedthemtoyou,ortheirmindsmayare
distracted.
Theymayhavehadtheintentionoftellingyousomething,
orbringingyousomeletterorsomenewbook,orsomething
thattheythinkwillinterestyoubutitescapestheirmemory
justatthetimetheyleavehometocometoyou.
Believeintheloveofyourfriendsandrestinthat.Itwillbe
thegreatesthelptoyou.Judgenot,thatyoubenotjudged
(Matthew7:1).
2.19Letters49andCommunications
Sometimes letters and any kind of communication are a
sourceofemotionaldiscontentordisturbancetothesick.
Wehavetakenthelibertytorender'letters'togetherwith'communica
tions'sothatreaderscanmentallytransferthephraselettersto
whatevermeanstheyusetocommunicatewithothers.
49
139
We have spoken of the pleasure of receiving communica

tionsandhowwelcometheyare.Sometimes,however,ifa
frienddoesnotwriteasmuchasthesickpersonwouldlike
ofhisillness,ordoesnotseemtoenterintoitorseemsto
misunderstand the illness completely and thinks the sick
personcando'suchandsuch'whenheorsheislongingto
doso,butcannot,orthinksthatthesickpersonoughttotry
to make this and many other exertion or perhaps judges
them harshly, then such communications can become a
sourceofirritation.Itisfortunateifacoolingoftherelation
shipisnotanoutcome.
Allthesethingsaresentto'try'us.Theyareintendedto.
Nevertheless,weshouldbearinmindthatweoughtnotto
beangryorevenannoyedandthatourfriendmeantnoth
ingbutkindness.However,beingatadistanceandunable
toseeus,heorshecouldnotpossiblyknowouractualcir
cumstances.Theywrote,eitherjudgingfromourownstate
ments,fromthestatementsofothers,orfromhavingformed
animaginarypictureofwhatstatesuchandsuchsymptoms
wouldprobablyproduce.
Justasyoudonotliketobeharshlyjudged,donotjudge
yourfriendharshly.Beverycarefulnottoanswerinanirrit
atedtone,ortoletanunkindwordescapeyou.Ifyoufeel
upset,donotwriteatonce.Waituntilthefirstfeelingofir
ritationandupsetanditsafterthoughtshavesubsided.
AsktheGodofLovetomakeyoumoreHimselfandtomake
thisatimefordenyingyourselfandtoenableyoutohide
fromyourfriendthatyouhavedoneso.Youcannaturally
andquietlytellthemyourstate;butdonottrytomakeit
appear worse or different from what it really is, for that
wouldbebutanotherwayofexpressingyourannoyance.
Sickpeopleoftenexpecttheirfriendstocommunicatewith
themasfrequentlyandasfullyasiftheycanwriteanswer
ing each letter. This is unreasonable. It is not likely that
peoplewhoarehealthycanfullyenterintothefeelingsof
140
sickpersonsaboutcommunication.Theyfeelsocutofffrom
lifethattheyoftenhaveacravingforcontact,ifnotforcom
munications,butagreatdisinclinationto,orinabilitytoan
swerthem.
Acommunicationstealsintotheroomsosilentlyandquietly
thatitdoesnotfatigueoneasvisitorssometimesdo.Itgives
greatpleasuretofindthatfriendsrememberusanddonot
stopwritingtous,evenwhenwecannotacknowledgethe
cheertheircommunicationshavebeentous.
Peopleoftensay,Idonotwritetoyou,becauseIknowhow
weakyouareandthatitonlyburdensyou.Thisisagreat
mistake.Sickpeopleneedcommunicationmore,inorderto
keepuptheirconnectionwithothersandtheyvalueitfar
morethanhealthypeopledo.Ifpeopleareafraidtotirethe
sick,theyshouldsaythattheydonotexpectanswersand
willwriteagain,inspiteofnotreceivinganyreply. Never
reproachsickpeoplefornotreplying,orthinkitisproofof
lackofaffection.Similarly,letthesickrememberhowoften
theirfriendsabstainfromwritingtothemfromtrulykind
motivesandsoneverindulgeunlovingthoughtsofthem.
Unlesstheyhavebeenillforalongtime,fewpeoplecan
fullyunderstandtheenjoymentofreceivingahandwritten
lette,andeventhoseoftenuncaredformessagesofloveand
remembrance.
2.20VisitsoftheClergyandChristianMinisters
Anothersourceofdiscontentoftenarisesfromthevisitsof
theclergyandChristianministers. Youmaybelivingina
largeparishwhereitisnotpossibleforyourpastortovisit
youoften.Hehassolargeafoldandsomanysheeptolook
after.
Rememberthatyouarenottheonlyoneandthathistimeis
greatlyoccupied.Bethankfulthen,wheneverhevisitsyou
andbethankfulalsowhenhedoesnot,ifyouknowthatitis
141
becauseheisvisitingotherswhohavefewermeansofChris
tianinstructionandhavehadonlyafewopportunitiesof
obtainingit.
Or, you may be living in a parish where the people are
rarelyvisited.Ifso,yourcaseisnotpeculiar.Youhaveno
cause to complain, as if you were worse off than others.
Prayforyourselfandthoseshutin,thatthecasemaybe
comeotherwise,ifitsopleasesGod.
OraMinistervisitsyou andtheconversation maybe en
tirelydesultory,aboutpeopleorongeneralsubjects.Or,the
Ministermaybeveryshyandreservedandfeeldeeplythat
he does not know how to address you. He may have an
earnest desire to but feeling this difficulty may make his
mannercoldorformal.Youfindthatyoucansaynothing.
Youhadquestionsyouwantedtoask,advicetogetfrom
himbutyouarerestrained.Youasknothing.Heleavesyou
andyousayinyourheart,withbitterdisappointment,that
yourteachersareremovedintoacorner(Isaiah30:20).
Or,hemayknownothing,personally,ofillnessandmaynot
have much studied the wants of the sick, which may be
learnedbyanearneststudyoftheServicefortheVisitation
oftheSick.Hethinks,perhaps,thatalltheneedsofsick
peoplearealike,alltheirtrialsallcomingunderthesame
class,thatwhathesaystoonewillequallyapplytoevery
case.
Perhapsheisasmuchsurprisedthathiswordsdonotseem
tosuityou,asyouarethathesaysnothingwhichcomes
'hometoyourheart'.Hemayhaveamethodinhisvisits
whichyouwouldinterruptifyouaskedanyquestion.You
seethatitisnotagreeabletohim:itbreaksthetrainofhis
thought, which he cannot easily resume. He has adopted
thiscoursewiththesick,considerately,believingittobethe
planmostlikelytoedifythem.
Evenwhen,beforeheleaves,heproposestoreadachapter
fromHolyScriptureandthentopraywithyou,hedidnot
142
perceiveyourweakness.Hedidnotnoticethatyoucould
not now listen or follow asonce you could and that you
neededtheScripturereadtoyouandthatthePrayershould
beadaptedtoyourphysicalcondition,ifyouaretotakepart
init.Perhapsyouarenotabletohavemorethantwoor
threeprayersorCollectsrepeated,thewordsofwhichyou
aresofamiliarwith,astorequireonlytheoneeffortofjoin
ingintheprayer,withoutconsideringwhatwordsweresaid
andwhetheryoucouldjoinin.Youexpectedsomuchfrom
thisvisitandyetyouaredisappointedandyoufeelmore
aloneandlackinginhelpthanbefore.
Or, the pastor may think something that you say is erro
neousandspendhisvisitincombatingtheerror,ratherthan
inleadingyouintotruth.Or,hemayexpectyoutorespond
tocertainwordsandphrasesbutyouareafraidtoexpress
yourself like this. The words do not exactly convey your
meaning.Yougiveawrongimpressionofyourself;yousay
thatyoucannotusesuchwords.Heisdissatisfied.Perhaps
hetellsyouthatTherootofthematterisfoundinyou(Job
19:28)orthatyouhavedepartedfromfirstprinciples.You
arediscouraged.Perhapsyoureallymeantthesamething
that he did, but you felt that you have often used such
wordswithoutanymeaningandthatsicknessespeciallyhad
revealedthissintoyouandnowyoucannottrulyexpress
yourself precisely, although you feel you meant the same
thing.Youwerejustafraidofappearingbetterthanyoufeel
yourselftobe.
Or,itmaybethatyouwereconfusedorfrightened,because
youhadnotbeenaccustomedtobeaskedsomanyquestions
aboutyourowninmostthoughts.Youmayhavehadmany
thingsonyourmindtospeakabout,orquestionstoask,but
you felt that you would not be understood. Or, you may
haveanentirelyformalvisitandyouaremadetofeelthatit
issocompletelyamatterof'business'thatyoufindithardto
takeanypartinit.
143
IfyouareactuallylivinginthehouseofaMinisterofReli
gion,youwillperhapsseemanypastorsbutwillnot,often,
probably,bemuchbetteroffforpastoralvisits.Generally,
theywilltellyouthattheydonotcometovisityou,but
merelycomeasafriend;thattheyknowhowwellyouare
alreadyprovidedforinyourownhouseandmuchbettervis
itedthanyoucanbebyothers.Itisanaturalsupposition.
Butwhenitisrememberedthatifyouareoneofthefamily
ofaPastorandhehasmuchtodo,hewillrarelyhavetime
tobestowonyou.
Yourfatherorhusband,ifheisaMinister,thinksthathe
canseeyouatanytimebutwhenyouseehim,thereareof
tensomanypersonalanddomesticsubjectstobespokenof
thatalltheverylittletimeisabsorbedinthem.Youknow
that he is ever ready at hand and in any emergency you
wouldaskhishelp,butyou,ofanyone,perhapsbestknows
howovertaskedhisstrengthis.Itwouldbeamerepainto
you toaddany weight tohisburden. Moreover, it rarely
happensthatmembersofafamilycansothrowasideother
relationshipsastoeasilymergeallintheShepherdandthe
sheep.Theymayofferdelightfulspiritualconversations,but
notexactlypastoralcare.Thereforedonotexpectwhat,in
fact,cannotbe.
WhatyouwantistobeencouragedbyyourMinistertolay
yourtroublesanddifficultiesbeforehimandtoreceivehis
counselandhelp.Youwanttofeelthatyoushallbeunder
stood and that you may have perfect confidence in him,
withoutanyfearthatyourwordswilleverbeheardbyany
oneelse.Youwanttomeetwithreadysympathy,notadry,
cold,abstractedhearing,orbyamisunderstandingofyour
words. You want to feel that whatever you say which is
wrong,hewillpointouttoyou,notsupposingsomeerrorin
youwhichdoesnotexist.Youdonotwanthimtotalkto
youoftheerrorsofthepresentdayandwarnyouagainst
them,buttopointoutyourownerrors.Youwanttohave
sinpointedouttoyou,tohaveplain,honesttruthspoken,to
144
beexhorted,morethancomforted.Youdonotwanttobe
merelytoldoftheblessingsofsicknessandthat TheLord
disciplinestheoneheloves,andchastiseseverysonwhomhe
receives (Hebrews12:6)buttolearnthatillnessisachas
tisement.
Youwanttobedirectedhowpracticallytobelieveinthe
HolyCatholicChurchandtheCommunionofSaints50and
tobeshownhowtrulyyouarestillamemberoftheChurch
andnotcutoff,thougha'sickmember'.Youwanttoknow
howyouarestillpreservedintheunityoftheChurch51.
Youwanttobeinstructedinthebestwayofjoiningallthe
membersoftheChurchandhowtobesurethatservicesof
thechurchareforthesick,aswellasforthosewhocango
tochurch.Youfeelthattherearegreenpasturesandstill
waters (Psalms23:2) andyou wanttobe ledbythem.
Youwanttobetoldwhatyour'part'and'duty'isandhowto
fulfil your course (Acts 3:25) so that the whole body,
joinedandheldtogetherbyeveryjoint(Ephesians4:16)do
thatwhichisappointedforittodo.
Itisagreathelpinprofitingfromthevisitsofpastorstore
memberthattheyareGod'sministers(Romans13:6),His
servants.Theycometousinanothercharacterfromordin
arymen.TheyarecalledbyGod,asAaronwas(Hebrews
5:4).LikeMoses,theymaybeslowofspeechandofslow
tongue(Exodus4:10).Theyaremenoflikepassions(Acts
14:15)yettheyhaveaspecialworkandcallingwhichfits
themtobeteachers.Themorewillingwearetolearnfrom
50
TheCreed
ThissentencecomesfromtheChurchofEngland'sConfessionofSinand
theformofabsolutionimpliestherestorationafterexcommunicationofa
sickmemberofthechurch,meaningamemberwhohasbeendisciplined
havingtransgressedsomechurchrule,soitrestoresthememberinto
communion.For'sickmember',PriscillaMauricemayhaveunderstood
thatthepersoncutoffmeanssomeoneliterallysick,insteadasitis
meant,someonewhois'morallysick'andsoexcludedfromtheChurch,
byitsdiscipline.
51
145
themandtoRememberyourleaders,thosewhospoketoyou
thewordofGod.Considertheoutcomeoftheirwayoflife,
andimitatetheirfaith (Hebrews13:7)themoreweshall
findthattheydobringusamessage.Tothismessageyou
willdowelltopayattentionastoalampshininginadark
place(2Peter1:19).
We can learn much from Ministers whose words are not
pleasingtoourtaste.Weignoremanyexcellentwordsbe
causetheydonotseemtosuitusatthetime.Wearepro
vokedbythembecausetheymaynotsuitus.Buttheday
maycomewhenthewordstheyspokewillreturntousand
leaveablessingbehind(Joel2:14).
2.21MedicalAdviceandMedicalVisits
Thereisanothertrialwhichoftengivesrisetofeelingsof
discontentinthemindsofthechronicallysick.Itshowsit
selfintwooppositeways.
Sometimes those who are sick think that because their
friendsletthemcarryonwithoutwishingtheyshouldseek
additionalmedicaladviceorachangeofdoctor,theydonot
carefortheirrecoveryordonotwishthemtotryalternat
ives.Thisideapreysupontheirmindsandgivesthemafeel
ingofdeepdissatisfaction.Werethesicktospeakthetruth,
orrather,iftheyknewtheirownhearts,theywouldseehow
muchtheythemselvesarewantingtotrysomenewtreat
mentortohaveanewdoctor.
Visitorsoftenproposethiscourseofactionandurgethemto
trysomeoneinwhomtheycanhavespecialconfidence.Per
hapsthisstirsupthedesireintheirminds andevenpro
duces a feeling of dissatisfaction with their present treat
ment?Thesickpersonpondersitinhisorherheartand
wonderswhyhisorhersupportersaresoindifferenttothe
idea.
146
It isthe love andkindness of friends, generally speaking,

thatmakesthemthinklikethis.Theyseethatlittleornoth
ingcanbedoneandtheykindlyforbeartofrustratetheir
sickfriendbyaskingthemtotryfreshtreatmentswhichmay
only make them worse and in the end, cause disappoint
ment.
Theythinkitkindertoleavethemtothesoothingremedies
whicharegenerallyresortedtowhenallothersareineffec
tual,thantoputthemtothepainofundergoingmanyofthe
sameremediesthat have been triedalready, without suc
cess.
Soifyouwishtoseesomenewdoctor,proposeityourself.
Atleasttellafriendthatyouthinkyoushouldliketohave
suchadviceandiftheyseenoobjection.Butalwaysremem
berwhenyouaredoingso,howgreatariskyouarerun
ning.
The advice you seek may not suit you at all and it may
merely add to your suffering52. You cannot expect that a
strangershouldtaketheinterestinyouthatsomeonewould
whohaslongwatchedyourcaseandknownyou.Hisorher
'manner'maybetryingtoyouandhisopinionofyourcase
causeyoufreshdistress.
Weighallthesethingscarefully.Somesickpeoplearecon
stantlywishingforachangeofmedicaladvisers.Whatdo
theygainbyit?Asuccessionofdisappointmentsandtrials?
Medicines given and rejected as failures, hope after hope
arising,andasoftenfailing.
Intheearlystageofanillness,itisverydesirabletohave
morethanonemedicalopinion;butwhenalloptionshave
beentried,itisafarmorepeacefultosticktoonedoctor,
Wehaveseenpatientswhohavespentpreviousfinancialresourceson
numerouskindsofhealersanddoctorsandyetgetnobetter.Theydothis
ratherthanaskGodalonetoguidethemwhichdoctortoconsult(which
isourstrongadvice).WearesurprisedthatPriscillaMauricedoesnotad
viseprayingfortherightdoctor,herself.
52
147
whoeversuitsyoubestandnottoseekfor,orhankerfor
anymoreopinions.Therearestagesinadiseaseinwhichit
maybewell,ifyourusualdoctorapprovesit,tohaveafresh
opinionbutthelessfrequentlythebetter.Somesickpeople
haveafoolishdesireforanynewmedicalopinion53.
Iffriendswishandproposeit,itisyourdutytofallinwith
theirwishesandgivethemthesatisfactionofhavingtried
allreasonablemeans.Iftheydonotcareabouturgingthis,
thenyoumaybecontentandthankful.Butdonotbedis
pleasediftheyexpresstheirwishthatyoushouldseesome
freshperson.Takeitasaproofofkindness.Donotbedis
contented,orthinkthattheyareupsettingyouneedlessly.
Sometime,thesickarediscontented withtheirdoctorbe
causeheoffersnotreatmentthatworksforthem.Butsurely
thisisnotajustcausefordiscontent?Wecanbeassured
that every honest medically trained person will desire to
curetheirpatientandifheorshecannot,atleasttoofferall
thereliefinhisorherpower.
Sometimes,sickpeoplethinkthatdoctorsdonotunderstand
theirparticularcase.Perhapstheydonot,becausetheyare
workinginthedark.Butisthisjustcausefordiscontent?
CouldnotHewhoopenedtheeyesoftheblind,opentheir
eyestoseeyourcaseclearlyandgivethemunderstandingto
treatit?
Askadvicefromsomefriendsonwhomyoucanrely.Askif
yourcaseseemstothemasitdoestoyou,andiftheiropin
ionagreeswithyours.Iftheyadvisethatyoushouldseek
anothermedicalopinion, thendoit.Butifthiscannot be
done,thentakeitasHiswillthatyouarenottoberelieved,
Somebelieversdo,indeed,draintheirbankaccountsbytakingthelatest
fashionableandcostly'healing',courseoralternativetreatmentparticu
larlyiftheydiscoveredthetreatmentontheinternet.Nordotheyseemto
carewhenthesetreatmentsareuseless.Allthatseemstomatteristaking
theinitiativebyconsultingtheinternetandnotthewillofGodthrough
faithandprayer.
53
148
andasHiswillthatyoumuststillsuffer.Thiswillsoftenthe
situationforyouandenableyoutoreceivethetrialmeekly.
Sometimeswefeelthatdoctorsmisunderstandourcharac
ters.Theyurgesomepeople,whosewholemindandspiritis
active, to even greater effort and to whom stillness is a
greatersufferingandtrialthananyoftheirremedies.Butby
doing so, they increase the restlessness and discontent in
theirpatients.
Or,sometimesdoctorsletthosewhoneedtoberousedand
stirredup,remainidle.Thereasonisthattheyknowlittleof
theirpatientsandtheyarerarelyacquaintedwiththembe
foretheirillness.Thereforetheycannotknowtheirnatural
characters.Theyonlyhearourtalesofillness,whichwefeel
itnecessarytotellthemfully,andtheythinkthattheseare
ourthoughtsatalltimes,thenatural'food'ofourminds.
Hencetheyjudgethatweneedtobebroughtoutofwhat
seemstothem'morbid'.Thereforetheyurgeus,inkindness,
butindiscriminately.Manydoctorshavecultivatedaknow
ledgeofdiseasemorethanaknowledgeofhumannature.
Theylookatthefaceastheindexofthedisease,ratherthan
atthemind,within.
Anotherofthegreattrialswhichdoctorsoftencausetheir
patientsistreatingthem(notmedically,perhaps,butmor
ally)asahavingamere'nervous'illness.Dotheynotknow,
wesometimesask,thattheycansaynothingmorehopeless
anddiscouragingtoasickperson?Iftheymean,"Itisnoth
ing,donotthinkofit,trytoforgetit,"surelythesewords
willnotproducetheeffecttheyintend?
Insteadofthis,theycouldsay,Thesearemorbidfeelings
andyoumuststruggleagainstthem.Theycanbeovercome.
Itwillcostyouagreatandcontinuedstruggle,butyouwill
berewardedfordoingso.Thentherewouldbehopeand
strength in such language and the work given you to do
would be very useful. The sick person would value the
friendwhospeakssuchtruthtohim.
149
Ontheotherhand,theeffectofsaying,Itisonlyanervous
illness is to prevent the sufferer from uttering their real
thoughts,oranysimilaronesinordertopreventthembeing
sowronglyconstrued.Theymaketheirdoctorfeelthathe
doesnotunderstandhimandtheyshakehisconfidencein
hisopinions,evenwhenthereisnogroundforit.Yetthe
doctor should remember that he merely used a common
termanddidnotintendtocausesomuchpain.
If, on the other hand, he means by merely nerves, or
neuroticpain,anaffectionofthenerves,thenhiswords
aresadandhopeless.Nopainsaresopeculiarlytrying,so
inexplicable,soincurable.Butifthisisthemeaningofhis
words,thensurelyitisbettertobetold?Itisbettertoknow
thewhole,sadtruth,tobeabletofaceitallandtoseewhat
itinvolvesandtoseekhowtomeetitinthestrengthofthe
Lord.
Donottroubleyourdoctorwithquestionsabouthisopinion
ofyourstate,thenatureofthediseaseoritsprognosis.You
willgainnothingbydoingso.Hewillperhapsarguefrom
such questions that you spend a great deal of your time
thinkingaboutit.Exceptwhenanyparticularchangesoccur
inthedisease,heknowsnothingnewandhecantellyou
nothingexceptwhathehasalreadytoldyou.Instead,you
maytempthimtogiveyousomeunwelcomeopinionasto
itsduration,oryourdegreeofnervousness.
Better to go on patiently, from week to week, asking no
questionsandjustlivinginthedayandfortheday,feeling
thatafterall,yourlifeisnotinyourdoctor'shands,butin
God's who wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his
handsheal(Job5:18).
Alwaysanswerallquestionsaskedbydoctors clearly,dis
tinctly,trulyandwithoutanyreservations.Butthelessyou
volunteeraboutyourbodilyfeelingsthebetter,unlessthere
areanynecessarythingstobementionedwhichtheseques
150
tionshavenotelicited.Inthiscase,describetheminasfew
wordsaspossible.
Donotconcealanysymptomsfromdoctors.Itisamistake
evenifthereismodestyindoingso.Itmaybeagreattrial
toyoutospeakofsomeembarrassingthingsandtosubmit
tosometreatments,buttakeitasatrial.Itispartofyour
disciplineandanecessaryandhumblingone.Donotmake
objections to trying treatments. It is your duty to try
whateverissuggested.Donotsaythatyoucannottakethis
orthatmedicine.Tryitagain.Underyourpresentcircum
stancestheeffectmaybequitedifferenttowhattheeffect
wasbefore.Youoweittoyourdoctortotryanythingwhich
hethinksmaybeusefultoyou.
Themannerinwhichsomedoctorstalktothefriendsofthe
sick,causesmuchtrialtosickpeople.Theymayspeakof
themas'psychologicalill',sayingthattheymustbetreated
assuch,beurgedtomakeaneffortandtoldthattheyhave
no organic disease. This often causes others not only to
thinktoolightlyoftheillness,butinflictgreatsufferingon
the sick person by acting in accordance with the medical
opinion,irrespectiveoftheirowninstinctiveknowledgeof
thecharactersoftheirfriends.
Anothertrialwhichalongillnessfrequentlybringsisthat
doctorsgrowwearyofthecase.Atfirsttheyaredeeplyin
terestedinit,butitwillnotyieldtotheirremedies.Then
theygrowimpatientwithit,callit'psychological'andthen
perhaps even ridicule the very ailments. They may make
theirvisitslessandlessfrequently,until,ononesideorthe
other,theattendanceends.Thisisasoretrial,forthesuffer
ingneitherendsnordiminishes,butgoesonitswearyway,
thestrength,nervesandheart,meanwhile,givingway.
Such trials should teach us to value deeply the long, un
wearied,patient,faithfulkindnessofsomemedicalfriend,
whohascontinued,inspiteofalldiscouragements,tovisit
usstill,notintheexpectationofcure,butjustinthehopeof
151
alleviating,soothingandcomforting.Suchdoctorswill,in
deed:bynomeanslosehisreward(Matthew10:42).They
shallberepaidattheresurrectionofthejust(Luke14:14).
Theyshallsurelyfind,evennow,thatBlessedistheonewho
considersthepoor!InthedayoftroubletheLorddelivershim
(Psalms41:1).
Peopleareapttoextolthosewhocurethem.Buthowmuch
morepraiseandgratitudedothosedoctorsdeservewhodo
not have this reward of their skill? Those who are not
blessedwiththesegoodgiftsfromGodmay,atleast,take
comfort that the Great Physician God, Does not faint or
grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable (Isaiah
40:28).
Though no other hand may pour oil or wine into your
wounds54,GodHimselfwilldoitandHewhohassentthe
pain,andallitsinnumerabletrials,willstandbyatalltimes,
tosoothe,andcheer,strengthenandblessyou.Drinkthen
with thepatience of the Saints and the God of Love will
blessthephysic55.
2.22NursesandCarers
Another class of the trials which weakness brings comes
fromnursesandcarers.Theinnumerableideaswhichhaunt
asickpersononthissubjectcannotbeeasilydescribed.
ThisisaBibleexpressioncomingfromoneofJesusparables:Andwent
tohim,andbounduphiswounds,pouringinoilandwine,andsethimon
hisownbeast,andbroughthimtoaninn,andtookcareofhim(Luke
10:34).Oilandwinewerealsoconsideredmedicine,inantiquity.
54
AquotationfromaletterbySamuelRutherfordtoViscountessofKen
morewhowassufferingfromspiritualdepression.SamuelRutherford's
lettersarefullofcounseltotheafflicted.Tendercompassionandstrong
counselaredistinguishingfeaturesthroughouthisLetters.Samuel
Rutherford(1600?1661)wasaScottishPresbyteriantheologianand
author.HewasoneoftheScottishCommissionerstotheWestminsterAs
sembly.
55
152
Sometimes you may take a most violent dislike to some

carer.Thisdislikemaybequitewithoutreason,butitseems
impossibletoovercome.Thesickpersonfeelsthatitis,per
haps,verysinful,andearnestlyfightsagainstitbutinvain.
Themoreheorshestrives,thestrongeritgrows.
Each timethisperson enters the room, the patient grows
restlessanddistressedand,ifheorshecomesnearthebed
orsofa,itisonlybythemercyofGodthatsomewordsof
annoyanceordispleasuredonotburstout.Atanyrate,it
may cause really distressing feelings, quicken the pulse,
make the heart beat quickly or even seem to stop. There
maybeasensationofnotbeingabletobreathewhenthis
personisnearby,asifheorshetookupalltheairyouought
tohave.Thepersonseemstooppressyou,tobeaweighton
yourheartorourspirits.Youfeelbulliedandlongforthe
carertoleave.
Orwhatisfarmoredistressing,itmaybesomedearfriend,
towards whom you feel such feelings and you cannot ac
countforitatall.Youonlyknowthatyoufeelthattheyare
not what you want, now. They seem to provoke you, by
their awkwardness. They cannot do anything for you, ex
cept,asitseemstoyou,veryclumsily.Theyseldomgiveyou
thethingthatyouwantoraskfor,orinthewayyoulong
forit.Theyaskwhatyouwant,wheretofinditandhow
they should give it until you, feeling that they ought to
knowallthisandnottroubleyou,getanxiousandupset.
Youthinkhowlittletheydoforyouandsaythatyouhad
rathernothavewhatyouwantthantobeforcedtogiveso
manydirections.Ifsuchapersonshouldchancetositupat
night with you, you feel given over to discomfort for the
wholenight.Theycannotdoasinglethingwhichispleas
ing.Youdonottrytoseempleasedandtheyloseheart.
Ontheotherhand, perhapsthereis somefriend orcarer
whomyouparticularlylike.Nooneelsecanputyourpil
lowscomfortably.Nooneelsecangiveyoumedicines,even
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thesmallestthingthatyouneed.Ifanyoneelsebringsyou
yourfood,youdonotlikeitandfeelneglected.Youwillnot
bepleasedandsatisfied,howeverkindlyandwellthething
maybedonebysomeoneelse.
In this situation there are temptations and just as in the
formercase,thereisthedangerofovertaskingthestrength
ofyourcarer,oftaxinghisorherpowerandlayingheavy
burdensonothers.Thekinderheorsheis,themorewilling
nesstodowhatyouwish,thegreateryourdanger.
Bevery careful that you arenot overdemanding towards
yourhelpers.Considerthemalwaysasyouwouldliketobe
considered.Neverwearthemout,justbecauseyoudonot
likeanyoneelsetowaitonyou,becausethisisveryselfish.
Again,thereisthedangerthatotherpeoplewillbegrieved
atyourpartialityforsomeonebecauseyouwillnotletthem
doanythingforyou,orshowtheirdesiretohelpyou.
Itisagreatdutyinillnesstoavoidputtingotherstopainin
thisway.Besideswhich,insteadofthembeingdrawncloser
in love and sympathy withyou by your illness, you push
themfurtheraway.
When you feel this temptation, say, to dislike your carer,
perhapsitmaybeofsomehelptoyouto:
1. avoidspeakingspeakofittoanyone.
2. redoubleyoureffortstoshowkindnesstothatper
son,inthought,word,andmanner,andespecially,
toprayforthem.
3. avoidreasoningaboutitbutputthethoughtaway
untouched,wheneveritoffersitselftoyourmind.
4. layitbeforeGodandtellHimhowverymuchitdis
tresses you, that you cannot overcome it, but that
youhateyourselfforit.Goondoingsocontinually.
SayFather, ifitbe possible, let this cuppass from
me.Butifnot,thenaskHimtoteachyoutosay,
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Yourwillbedone.ThentakeitasHiswillandthis
will change the nature of the trial. Bear it sub
missivelyuntilHeseesfittoremoveitfromyou.
There may be some cases in which a nurse sent by an
agency may really be unsuitable. Therefore it is better to
speaktosomefriendaboutitand,ifitseemstothemthe
sameway,itisbesttomakeachangeofcarer,assoonas
possible.Wemayreceivethemosthelpfuldisciplinefrom
the various characters of our attendants, if we decide to.
Otherwisetheywillonlyfretusandstiruptheevilwhichis
insideus.
Weneednotseekoutthosepeoplewhowilltestus.Onthe
contrary,itisfarbetterforthemandforus,thatweshould
choosethosewhoseemlikelytosuitus.Butineverycharac
terweshallfindsomethingnotquiteaccordingtoourliking
so let us take this as wholesome discipline and use it as
such.
Are you very impatient and impetuous, by nature? Your
helpermaybevaluabletoyouandyetshemaybeacontinu
alchastisementtoyou,byreasonofherslowness.Itisvery
discouragingtoherandbadforyou,thatyoushouldbecon
stantlytellingheroffforitortryingtohurryher.Takeitas
ameansofcorrectingtheevilthatisinyouanditwillprove
tobethecase.Fewthingscansoconstantlyremindyouof
yourbesettingsin,andwarnyoutocorrectit.
Most of all watch your tone and manner. Your greatest
temptationtospeakevilcomesoutinhowyoutreatyour
helpers and nurses. We are apt to give sad license to
ourselveswiththosewhosejobitistotendus,notmerely
forgettinghowmuchwemusttesttheirpatienceandhurt
them,butalsowhatanexamplewearesettingtothem,and
howweareweakening,ifnotdestroying,theinfluencethat
wemighthave,andoughttohave,overthem.
Whatiftheyareslow,unintelligent,unreliableormisunder
standus,seemindifferent,areforgetful,selfish,orunwilling
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tobeputoutoftheirway?Letusaskourselvesifweare
neverlikethattoo?
Haveweneverfoundanyofthefaultsinourselvesthatwe
complain of, in them? Have we tried hard, by example,
kindness,gentlerebuke,patienceandforbearance,toover
cometheirfaultsinthem?Dowenevermakethemangry
andthereforecallouttheevilinthem?
HaveweaskedGodtoteachushowtohelpthem,tobear
withthemandtoleadtheminabetterway?Doweaskthis,
daybydayandwheneverwecomeincontactwiththem?
Manypeoplewillspeaksharplyorimpatientlytoahelperor
nursewhowouldnotdosotoafriend.Perhapsthereisno
checkmorewholesomethanwatchingone'swordsandways
fortheyarewithuswhennooneelseisandatthetimeswe
areleastonourguard,whenonlyHiseyeseesandHisear
hears.Hewillcallustoaccountforthesethings,aswellas
allthingsdoneinthebody(2Corinthians5:10AV).
Youwillalsobecarefulnottoburdenyourcarerunneces
sarily,nottocallforattentionunreasonablyfrequently,or
whenyoucandowithoutthethingyouwanted.Perhapsit
issomethingwhichcanwaituntilshenextcomes.Youwill
becarefulnevertodisturbherrestatnightunnecessarily,to
considerherownhealthandcomfort;toallowherproper
exerciseintheopenair,whichthosewhoattendcloselyon
thesickespeciallyneed.Ifshehasbeenupinthenight,you
willtakecarethatshehasrestintheday.Youwillalways
considerhermealtimeandnotletitbeneedlesslyinterrup
ted.Youwillalwaystrytoshowtoherthatyouaresatisfied
andgratefultoher.Thosewhowaitonthesickneedagreat
dealofpatience.Ifshedoesnotpleaseyou,itisbestocca
sionallytospeakonlyverykindlytoher.Avoidconstantly
makinglittlecomplaintsandfindingfaultwitheverything;
forthatissodiscouraging,thatyoucannotexpecthertore
spondwell.
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Youwilldecidealsotoresistalldesires,whichthough,per
hapsnotwronginthemselves,maybeveryinconvenientor
expensiveto yourfriends but whichtheymay not like to
denyyou.Remember, Ifanyonewouldcomeafterme,let
himdenyhimselfandtakeuphiscrossandfollowme(Mat
thew16:24).TheseareyourMaster'swordstoyou.
2.23BeingaBurden
DonotdistressyourselfbythinkingIamjustaburden.
Howoftensickpeoplesaythis.Howoftentheythinkthis
andthethoughtis,indeed,adistressingone.Itisablessing
ifthethoughtdevelopsnofurtheranddoesnotdegenerate
intothinkingthatourfriendsthinkthesamethoughtsthat
wehaveinourownminds.Inotherwordsthattheythinkus
troublesomeandaregrowingwearyofus.
Thesethoughtssometimesoccupythethoughtsofeverysick
person.Itisrightthatyoushouldconstantlytrytobearin
mindhowgreatthetrialisforthosearoundyou.Themore
tenderlytheyloveyou,thegreateritmustbe.Besides,the
sorrowthatyoursicknesscausesyourfriends,thereisalsoa
peculiar sense of depression which pervades a household
duringsickness,especiallyifitisashortanddangerousone.
Generallyspeaking,thehabitsofafamilyareupsetbyill
ness,andtosomeextentchanged.Oneismissedfromone's
accustomed place in the circle and from family meetings.
Whenanyofthefamilyhavebeenout,stilltofindsickness
meetingthemontheirreturn,givessadness.Theycannever
take refreshment away from illness, for it is 'pressing' on
themathome.Butdonot letthethoughtofthisdepress
you.Insteadaskthatitmaymakeyoumoreloving,gentle,
andconsiderate,andthankfultoallthosearoundyou.Letit
remainaliveduringtherestofyourlife,asagratefulre
membrance.
157
Therearemanywaysinwhichyoucanavoidgivingtrouble,
ifyouarereallydeterminedtodosoandyouarenotmerely
indulginginmorbidthoughtsandwords.Youcanbecon
stantlyavoidinggivingtroublewithoutanyappearance of
doingso.Youwill,ofcourse,tryasmuchaspossible,tolet
your hours and habits harmonise with those around. You
willtakeyourmealsatthesametime,whenitispossible,
andmakeyourfreeandleisuretimesthosewhichwillbest
suitotherpeople.Aslittleaspossible shutoutthefamily
fromyourroom.Donotmakeita'favour'toreceivethem.
Donotshowthatyoufeeltheyare'intheway'.Theycome
toyouinkindness,soreceivethemkindlyandcheerfully.
Perhapsitmayhelpyouwhenthefearofgivingtroubledis
tressesyou,toclearlytorunoverthesethingsinyourmind:
Isitreallyadislikeofgivingtrouble,freeofotherfeel
ings?Istherenoprideinnotwantingtogivetrouble?Is
there no feeling of being a taker, and not a giver? Is
therenodislikeofdependenceandaselfcentredstriv
ingforindependenceinyourfeeling?
Thespiritual'message'issuingfromyourillnessisfor
yourfriends and relativesaswell as for yourself. You
mustnotfearthatyoushouldseemakindofmessenger
ofeviltidings.Eveniftheylookuponitasakindofin
trusion on their comfort, putting into disarray their
agendasanddestroyingtheirenjoyment,thentheyneed
themessagethemore,andyoumustbecontenttobe
thebearerofit.
Youdidnotbringyourselfintothesecircumstances.
Instead,itwasthewillofGod.Heistoowisetoorder
Hisdiscipline,thatitshallblessonepersonandinjure
anotherofHischildren.Beassuredthatwhatissentto
blessyouandtoteachyou,issenttoblessandtoteach
allyourrelativesandfriendstoo.Donotsaythatyou
are'intheway',thatyouarecausingsomanyburdens
andgivesomuchtrouble,whilebeingunabletomovea
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handorfoottohelp.YouareGod'smessenger.Leaveit
toHimtoapplythemessagetotheheartsofeveryone.
Butdonotruinit,bytryingtopersuadeyourselforoth
ersthatitisyourmessageandthatyoubringitveryun
willingly.ThegreetingwhichtheChurchappointsthat
pastorsvisitingthesickshouldgiveisPeacebetothis
houseandtoallthatdwellinit.TheSonofPeaceisin
it.Jesushassentamessengertoyou.Donotbeforgetful
to entertain this stranger, for hereby some have wel
comed angels as guests, without even knowing it
(Hebrews13:2CEV).
ThelotthatGodappointsisgood.Hehasplacedyou
whereyouare.Hehasappointedallyourcircumstances
evendowntotheminutestdetail.Itisexactlyadaptedto
yourcharacter.Nothingelsewoulddowhathastobe
donesowell,orteachyousomuch.Answereverysug
gestionofSatan,whowantstotemptyoutobelievethat
these are not the best circumstances and that others
would have suited your character better with, Satan,
get away from me! (Matthew 16:23 CEV). God has
placedmehere.ItisthewillofGod.Whenanyonesug
geststoyouthattheywishyourcircumstancesweredif
ferent,say,ItisthewillofGod,theonlywiseGod (1
Timothy1:17)ourFather(Matthew6:9).Whenyour
ownhearttemptsyou,inhoweversmallapromptingto
persuadeyoutowishotherwise,say,Itisthewillof
GodtheGodofLove.
2.24TheTemptationtothinkthatnoonecansym
pathize
Youmustalwaysthinkofsicknessasahiddenstate,fully
knownonlytoitswayfarers.Sotakecarehowyouusethe
words,Noonecansympathisewithmeandnooneunder
standsme.Notonlydothesewordshaveachillingeffect
uponthoselistening,theydiminishtheirsympathy,however
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muchtheyhadwishedtosympathize.Theywillalsoeventu
allybringuponyouthesadrealityofhavingnoonewho
doessympathizewithyou.Itwillalsohaveamostdamaging
effectuponyou,asitproducesisolationandlonelinessof
heart.
Few people stop at No one can can sympathize. Next
comes,Noonewillsympathize".Inotherwords,Iwillnot
letthemsympathize,soIwillshutmyselfaway.Fewsay
this,inwords.Butinternally,theylaytheblameonother
peopleandthinktheyareverybadlytreated.Butiftheyre
jectsympathyandalwayssaywhenitisoffered,Youdonot
understandmeandyoucannotenterintomytrial,gradu
ally,theattempttooffersympathywillbenaturallywith
drawn.Thesepatientshavebroughtthisbittertrialwholly
uponthemselvesbytheirownfreechoice.
Soifyouseeinyourfriendsthewishtosympathize,accept
itgratefully,evenifyoufeelthatitreachesonlyashortway
intotherealityofyourneedandneverplumbsthedepthof
your trial. Be assured that gradually, if you cherish their
sympathy,itwillincreaseandadaptitself,byuse,moreto
yourneeds.Atfirst,itmaybeveryawkward.Thepersonof
fering it may feel this as painful about it as you can do.
Therefore feel for them! Give them your help and before
longyouwillhavetheirs.DonotsayInmanythingsyou
cansympathize,butnotinthisparticulartrial.Thismaybe
true.Mostthingsmustbeexperiencedinordertobefully
understood.Butdonotspeakthewordsoutloudastheyare
sodiscouraging.InsteadtellitalltoHimwhoneverfailsin
understanding,insympathyorinlove.
Kindness is always precious, so do not 'throw it back' on
thosewhoofferit.Accepteachlittletokencheerfullyand
thankfully. Sometimes someone may bring you may be
somethingwhichyoudidnotwishforjustthen.Acceptthe
kindnessandkeepittoyourself.Donotgiveyourfrienddis
appointment,evenifitiscostlytoyou.Havingshownyour
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self to be really grateful, you can courteously ask not to

havethesamethingbroughttoyouagain,ifyoucanfind
somegoodreasonfornotdoingso.
Donotassumethatthingsareyour'right'.Courteouslyand
thankfullyreceiveeachkindnessasakindness.Receiveeach
gift,likeabook,flowers,orwhatever,cheerfullyandgrate
fully.Rememberalwaysthatallthekindnessesandthelove
offriendsaregiftsfromtheGodofLove.
2.25Irritability
Itisagreathelpandblessingtoasickpersontobetold
when they are manifesting the irritability which is con
stantly causing them bitter inner conflict and with which
eithertheyaremaintaining,ortheyoughttobe,one un
broken,arduousresistance.Sometimes,withoutanyappar
entcause,thisirritabilitywillsuddenlyseemtoseizeone's
whole body and every nerve will be strained with the
wretchedfeeling.
Only God knows how long this irritability has been sup
pressedorhowoftenithasrisenupbeforeandhasbeen
suppressed. The temptation to anger has been repressed,
perhaps,forhours.Notraceofirritabilityhasbeenseenby
others.Thensomeminormishapoccurs.Perhapsthisisso
minorthatyouhardlyfeelitnecessarytoguardagainstit.It
maybethatadoorwasshutviolently,ornotshutatall,or
held inthehandforsome minutes whilst anotherperson
outsideisbeingspokentoandyouhavethedoubleannoy
anceofexpectationandofhearingawhisperingsoundin
whichyoucannottakepart.Oritmaybeasuddennoisyin
terruption,somethingcarelesslydropped.Oritmaybethat
someonehasforgottentodosomethingwhichyouparticu
larly wanted them to do. Or, someone suddenly touches
you,oryourbed,shakingthebedcontinuallywhilstsitting
byoronit.Orsomeonecomesintotheroom,unexpectedly,
andinafluster.
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Thesethingsare toosmalltoname,butnot toosmallto

feel.Theymayhavecausedasuddenexplosionofirritabil
ity.Thetruthisthatyoumayhavebeenexertingyourself
beyondyourstrength.Thelastounceofstrengthhasbeen
spentjustasthisnewdemandcomesuponyou.Itwastoo
muchforyourstrengthwhichfailed.
Beassuredthatyourfrustrationmaybeamerephysicalex
pressionofnervoussufferingandnotcounted'sin'byHim
whoisverypitiful.
Butyourfriendscanrarelydistinguishthecontextinwhich
youloseyourtemper.Howcanthey?Canyoualways,in
yourowncase,distinguishbetweenthesethingsinothers?
No,youcannot.Thereforedonotthinkfriendsarebeingun
reasonableorunkindiftheycriticiseorchideyouforlosing
yourtemper.Itisaproofoftrueloveforyou.
Theefforttorepressirritabilitysometimesgivesapainedex
pressiontothevoiceandexpressionwhichiseasilymisun
derstoodandthereforeshouldbebroughtundercontrol,as
muchaspossible.Peoplewhoareillandwhoareseekingto
take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians
10:5) will seldom utter an irritable word. Perhaps they
scarcelythink anirritablethoughtwithout being instantly
awareofit.Butthen,whataconflictfollowswhenirritabil
ityarises!Theyask:whatisthissinremaininginmestill?Is
sinfulness not yet subdued in me? Must I suffer from it,
forever?HowlongshallIgoontodishonourmyLordand
Master and to be so unlike Him who committed no sin,
neitherwasdeceitfoundinhismouth.(1Peter2:22).Have
allmystrugglesbeenalie?Haveallmyprayersbeeninvain
andunheard?
Beassuredthattheyhavenotbeeninvain.Theyhaveall
beenheardandtheyareallansweredhourbyhour.God
putsyourtearsintoHisbottle.TheyareinHisBook(Psalms
56:8AV).Heknowyouthroughandthrough.ItisHewho
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supportsyoueachmomentthatyouareupheldtokeepyou
fromfalling(Jude24AV).
ItisbyGod'sgracethatyouarekeptfromsinningmoreof
tenandifyouclingtoGod,youwillfindwhattheBiblesays
istrue: Mysoulclingstoyou;yourrighthandupholdsme
(Psalms63:8)andyouwilllessfrequentlyslide.Godwill
Setaguardoveryourmouthandkeepwatchoverthedoorof
your lips (Psalms 141:3) so that you will no sin against
Him.ButhaveyounotalsoprayedtoHimtohumbleyou,
testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you
wouldkeephiscommandmentsornot(Deuteronomy8:2).Is
not this the fulfilment of your prayers? Perhaps you still
needtobeshownsomeoftheevilsinyourownheart?Do
not then be downhearted when you do see them but ask
Him, whenever He leads you into the room of pictures
(Ezekiel8:12)alwaystogotherewithyouHimself,incase
youshouldbeoverwhelmedbythevision.
Make sure you look upon your irritable words as spoken
primarilybeforeGod: Againstyou,youonly,haveIsinned
anddonewhatisevilinyoursight,sothatyoumaybejusti
fiedinyourwordsandblamelessinyourjudgement(Psalms
51:4).Ifyoudonotthinkthis,thevexedfeelingofhaving
doneawrongthingbeforeafellowcreature,willonlyminis
tertoselfassertionandpride.
Donotbetoodownheartedandthinkthatallyourefforts
havebeeninvain.Donotbefearful,andanxiousaboutthe
future:Humbleyourselves,therefore,underthemightyhand
ofGodsothatatthepropertimeHemayexaltyou,castingall
youranxietiesonhim,becausehecaresforyou(1Peter5:6
7).
Godknowstheintensityofthesufferingwhich irritability
causes, especially when it is produced by the state of
wroughtnervesorbygreatfatigue.Atoneofvoicewhich
soundsalmostfretfulispart,somethink,ofsomestatesof
illness.Certainlysickpeopleveryoftenindulgeinafretful
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toneofvoice,untilitbecomeshabitual.Certainlythistone
canberesistedtoagreatextentandcanbealmost,ifnot
quite,overcome.
Itismostimportantforthehealth,bothofmindandbody,
nottoyieldtothisfretfultoneatall,buttocultivateinstead,
acheerful,calm,thankfulvoice.Atthesametime,itmust
beadmitted,thattherearestatesofsufferingwhichdoaf
fectthevoice,andeven,insomecases,giveitasharpness,
which is physical, and therefore unavoidable. What we
meanhereisthehabitualtoneandsickpeoplecanindulge
inatonewhichtheyimaginebelongstoillness.
Asageneralrule,ifyoufindthatyourvoicehasanunnatur
al tone, try tosubdue it and thenyou will soon discover
whatisandwhatisnotunderyourcontrol.Rememberthat
discontentquicklybetraysitselfinthetoneofvoice,facial
expressionandmanner.
Sickpeopleshouldneverlook uponthemselves ashaving
theprivilegetodowhatiswrongwhetherinwordordeed.
Theirstategivesthemnoexemptionfromthecontinualin
nerconflictofsuppressingsin.Instead,theyaresetinthe
midstofsinwhilebeingputwheretheycandiscernmore
clearlywhatissin.Thisisbecausetheyareinapositionin
which,iftheyviewtheirconditionproperly,allsuperficial
ity, gloss and distraction isremoved both from them and
fromalltheobjectsuponwhichtheyfocus.
2.26Impatience
Perhapsimpatiencebecomesaproblem.Itmaybethatyou
becomeimpatientwithbeingcontradictedanddislikeput
tingupwithanyoppositiontoyourwill.Youmaywishfor
something,perhaps,whichmaybeveryunreasonable,orin
convenient,orevenimpossible.Doyouwantyourfriendsto
treatyoulikeaspoiledchildand,attheriskoffurtherspoil
ingyou,grantyoureverydesire?
164
Doesitnotshowinthemmoretruekindnessgentlytoop
poseoreventodenyyouwhatyouhaveasked?Willyounot
begratefultothemafterwards,forhavingbeenthemeans
ofrevealingtoyouyourwaywardness?
Or,youmaybeimpatientbecausesomeonedifferedinopin
ionfromyou,asiftherewerenopossibilityofyourbeing
mistaken,oroftherebeingtwoormorepointsofview,from
whichthesamethingmaybeviewed.
Sickpeoplewholivemostlyaloneareingreatdangeroffall
ingintothistrap.Theyfrequentlyliveinaworldoftheir
ownmaking.Theyhavebecomesousedtotheirownopin
ions,theirownunchallengedworldviewsandtotheway
they see things. They can forget that there can be other
opinionsofthesamethingandareperhapsperplexedand
threatenedbythem.Thiskindofisolationisverydamaging
tothemand,infact,theyshouldbethankfultoheardiffer
encesofopinion.
Or,youmayhavegivenexpressiontosomeimpatientword
orphrase,whichatthemoment,mayscarcelystrikeyouas
itmaystrikeabystander.ForexampleyousayYoutake
suchalongtime!orIwishyouwouldhurryuporDo
bringthatquickly.Theyaredangerousphrasestouse.Of
tentheymeanlittleornothingbutitisthetoneofvoice
whichgenerallybetrayswhattheyreallymean.Bethankful
toanyonewhotellsyouthatthisisabadhabitandthatyou
mustministertotheimpatienceofyourownheart. Keep
yourheartwithallvigilance,forfromitflowthespringsof
life.(Proverbs4:23).Ahabitofrepressingsuchwordsisthe
greatestpossiblehelptoovercomingtheevil.
2.27ConsideringSymptoms
Another temptation in illness and indeed in all illness, is
constantly to be thinking about and talking about your
symptoms, wondering what will be the outcome of each
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one,askingwhetherthisorthatsignisdangerousorwhatis
indicates.
Or,if,infact,youdonotwanttogetbetter,thetemptation
istoconsiderwhetherthisisthesymptomofafatalillness.
Howlongwillitlast?Doesitproveyouaremuchworse,or
thatyouarefacingdeath?Orifyoureallywanttorecover,
thenyoulookatitinanotherway.Isthisagoodsymptom?
DoesitshowhowmuchbetterIam?DoesitnotprovethatI
amreallyrecovering?
Nothingmisleadsanddisappointsusmorethansymptoms.
Wearepoorjudgesofthemandcannottellwheretheylead
andwhattheyprove.Inoneperson,asymptommaybevery
serious,whichinanothermaybequitethereverse.Itcan
prove an opposite signal in opposite states and different
constitutions.
Thereforeitisbesttoleavesymptomstoyourdoctorandto
turnyourmindawayfromeverytemptationtoconsiderthe
resultsandprobabilities.Itisbesttoabstainfromthecom
mon but damaging habit of taking your temperature or
pulsecontinuallyandtryingtodiscernthingsfromtheres
ults.
Justtakethepresentmomentasitcomes.Lookatitscir
cumstancesastheverybestforyou,becausetheyarethose
inwhichGodhasplacedyouandwhichHecouldandwould
change,ifHesawthatothercircumstanceswouldbebetter
foryou.
Yourpresentpain,Heallowed.EachtrialisHismessenger.
Donotsay,Lord,wedonotknowwhereyouaregoing.How
canweknowtheway?(John14:5)forHisgraciousanswer
now,andalways,is:Whatisthattoyou?Youfollowme!"
(John21:22).
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PARTIIIDUTIESANDRESPONSIBILITIES
OFILLNESS
3.1Contentment
Therearefewthingsthroughwhichthesickaremoretemp
tedby,thanbydiscontent56.Therearefewaspectsinwhich
discontentdoesnotofferitselfmanifestitselftothosewho
areill.
Thereisdiscontentwithone'slot,withone'scircumstances,
withone'sfriends,withone'ssufferingandwitheverything
whichsurroundsone.Itmanifestsitselfeitherincomplain
ingormurmuringagainstGodorindissatisfaction.Itmay
showitselfinbeingdifficulttoplease,inseekingtogetone's
circumstancesalteredorinastateofutterselfishnesswhich
refuses to takean interest in other people or inanything
beyonditself.Itmaymanifestitselfinclaimingthatone's
situationis"thehardest,themosttryingandtheleastunder
stoodbyothers".Itmaybeshowninconstantlycallingthe
attentionofotherstoourselvesandtoourtrialsorinacrav
ingforsympathy.Allthesethingsmarkdiscontent.
Discontentisseeninourfaceandexpression,aswellasin
the voice. A person's manner can betray it. Some people
wantittobeseeninthehopethattheygetmoresympathy,
Butgodlinesswithcontentmentisgreatgain(1Timothy6:6).Astateof
mindinwhichone'sdesiresareconfinedtohislotwhateveritmaybe(1
Timothy6:6;2Corinthians9:8).Itisopposedtoenvy(James3:16),av
arice(Hebrews13:5),ambition(Proverbs13:10),anxiety(Matthew6:25,
34),andcomplaining(1Corinthians10:10).Contentmentarisesfromthe
inwarddisposition,andistheoffspringofhumilityandofanintelligent
considerationoftherectitudeandbenignaspectofdivineprovidence
(Psalm96:1,2;145),thegreatnessofthedivinepromises(2Peter1:4)
andourownunworthiness(Genesis32:10);aswellasfromtheviewthe
gospelopensuptousofrestandpeaceineternity(Romans5:2)(from
TheEastonBibleDictionaryunderContentment).
56
167
andtheymakenoefforttohideit.Theywarmtopeople
whowilllistentotheircomplainingandtheycountevery
oneelse"hardhearted".
Butistherenosinindiscontent?Thereiscertainlymisery.
Discontentedspiritsareeverseekingrest,butfindingnone
(Matthew12:43).Whenincompanywithothers,thosewho
are discontented crave for attention and sympathy. When
theyarealone,theyturninwarduponthemselves,wearied,
disappointedandmorehopelessthanever.Theybroodover
theirdistresses,neverknowtheblessingofpeace.
Thereisonlyoneremedyfordiscontent.Thatremedylies
withinthereachofeverysickpersonbuteachmustapplyit,
himorherselfandmustearnestlycryouttoGodtogivethe
strength and the courage, the patience and the persever
ance,toapplyitfaithfullyandconstantly.
Theremedyiscontentment.Therearemanyingredientsin
it:
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toseeandtobelievethatyouarediscontented
tofeelthegreatnessofthesinofdiscontent
nottoallowyourselfanyexcuseorevasione.g.not
tosay,"PerhapsIamratherdiscontentedsometimes
butthenIhavesomuchtomakemeso"
tohidenothingfromyourselfaboutit,butsimplyto
recognisethatIamdiscontented"
toconsiderityourdutytofightagainstdiscontent,
beginningwithsomesmallthingwhichisthemost
obvioustoyou
rememberthatthisisa"holywar"thatyouarebe
ginningandonewhichyoucannotfightaloneandin
whichyoumustdailyaskforthehelpofGod
donotbedownheartedifyoumakeveryslowpro
gressandfindthedifficultiesincreaseratherthandi
minish.
Thebattleisnotyours,butGod's(2Chronicles20:15).
Yourfriendshavebeenfarmorepatientwithyouthanyou
have given them credit for. You have wearied them fre
quently.Theyhavereallytriedtopleaseyou,tomakeyou
happyandfailedtodoso.Youhavecomplainedaboutthem
and,eventuallyaftermanyhardthoughtsaboutthem,you
havebecomeestrangedfromthem.
Nowonderyouareunhappy!Yourstateisaverypainful
oneandcallsfortruepity.Haveyouaskedyourselfwhether
there may not be something in you, which prevents you
fromreceivingwhatyoucraveandwhichseemstoshutup
andshutout,theloveoffriendsandtoleaveyou(asyou
suppose)asadandisolatedbeing?
Youthinkyourlotahardone,perhapsevenunlikethelotof
anyoneelse?Butwhoplacedyouinthatlot?Isitnotwrit
ten"Thelotiscastintothelap,butitseverydecisionisfrom
theLord(Proverbs16:33)?
Haveyoueverthoughtthateveryaspectofyoursituationis
underGod'scontrol?Ifso,haveyouanyrighttocomplain
aboutit?Askyourselfhonestly:arethereanycrosseswhich
IcomplainaboutthatIhavebroughtuponmyself?Doyou
neversay,ormakeitappearthatyoushouldlikesomething
andthencomplainafterwardsaboutitandsaythatittired
orannoyedyou?
Ifyoucananswer"No"youarefortunate.Butifyourcon
scienceanswers"Yes:itistrue",thenthisshowsdiscontent
whichisanunwillingnesstobesatisfied.
Doyouselfpityinglycomplaintoeveryoneortothosehome
youconfidein,untilyourwholemindisfullofyourgriev
ances and you can think of nothing else when you are
alone?
Areyourprayersevencomplaining prayers,perhapsoften
rather about the failures of others, than than about your
169
own?Truly,thisisoneofthesurestindicationsofadiscon
tentedheart.
Doyounever,whenyouarealone,listallthefrustrationsof
irritations of your circumstances? Do you think of all the
things that could be better, like the characters of your
friends,andevenofyournearestkin,untilyouhaveanen
tirely exaggerated view of everyone and of every circum
stance?Doyouafterwards,perhapsunintentionally,distort
things,inyourownmind,andtoothers,inadistortedway,
givingafalseglossandunrealcolouringtothem?
Afaithfulandsincereanswertothesequestionswillteach
youhowtrulytoreplytothequestion.Soistherenosinin
discontent?
Therearethreesinsindiscontent:
sintowardsGod
sintowardsyourneighbour
sintowardsyourself.
SintowardsGod
Godhasplacedyouwhereyouare.Hehaschosenforyou
your friends, your home, your trials, your blessings, your
pains, your pleasures and everything that makes up your
situation.
Hehaschosenthembecausetheyarethebestforyoube
causethosearethethingswhichwillthemostquicklyper
fectyouandmakeyoumostlikeHimself.
Sintowardsyourneighbour
He could change them in one moment but doing so, He
would not prove His love. Your discontent has given you
hardthoughtsofGod.Oratleasttheyhaveprovedobstacles
tolove,obstaclestoanythingbutthekindoflovewhichse
lectsafewtocarefor,inotherwords,onlythosewhomeet
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yourwishes,andthenrejectstherest.Read1Corinthians
13andtestyourselfbyit.
Sinagainstyourself
Youhavebydiscontent,cutyourselfoutfromtheenjoyment
ofalltheblessingsandhelpsandcomfortswithwhichGod
has surrounded you with. You have kept yourself from
peace,rest,quietnessandyouhaveisolatedyourself.Ifyour
sight had been cleansed, you would have seen the bright
and blessed things around you which were things to be
thankfultoGodforandtorejoicein.Ifyourearshadnot
been deaf, you would have heard loving voices and they
would have touched your heart and made it rejoice and
sing.Innotbeinglikethis,youhavesinnedagainstfaith,
hope,andcharity.YouhavenottrustedGod.Youhavenot
"hopedallthings,believedallthings,enduredallthings (1
Corinthians13:7)norperseveredinloving,evenwhenyou
imaginedthatnolovewasbeinggiventoyou.Thiswould
havebeenthe "fulfilmentofthelaw (Romans13:10)and
wouldhaveundoubtedlybroughtyoublessing.
Itisnottoolatetobegintoleadanewlife. Donotdeny
thatitisimpossible.The"GodofHope"cangiveyouhopeto
enterintoHisWay.TheGodofLovewillleadyou,stepby
step,until youare changed intothesame image (2Cor
inthians3:18).Onlybeseriousaboutit.Bedeterminedand
steadfast.Donotgiveupoverlittlethings.
First,askGodtoshowyouthesininyourheartandwhata
real,livingthingitis.YounevercanbeseriouslyaChristian,
until you have done this. Do not ask once but againand
again.Donotstopasking,evenwhenyouimaginethatyou
areimproving.Startbydecidingthatyouwillnevercom
plainaboutacertaintopicagain.Orif,asismostlikely,you
forgetyourresolution,thenconfessitbeforeGodimmedi
atelyandhumblyaskHisforgiveness.
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Next,trytofindsomebrightspot,somethingtobesatisfied
withandeventobethankfulfor.Continuegraduallyasyour
spiritgrowsstronger,toaddtothetopicsonwhichyoudo
notcomplainandthoseforwhichyoucanbethankful.
Inthisway,veryslowly,yourheart,whichwasoncedark
andgloomy,willbecomebrightandhappy.Thedisconten
tedthoughtsaboutyourfriendswillchangeintowonderat
theirloveandkindness,untilyourheartseemstoexpand
andglow.Yourspiritwillrejoice.
Theentireworldwillchangeitsappearance.Youwillwon
derwhythe'eyes'ofyourmindwereformerlysoblindand
yourheartsocoldandloveless.Thisisnoidealpicture,but
thetruth.Tryittoseeifitisgenuine,makeityourown.
Thenyouwhonow"goforthweeping,shalldoubtlesscome
again rejoicing, bringing your sheaves with you (Psalms
127:6).
Scripturesays,Nowthereisgreatgainingodlinesswithcon
tentment(1Timothy6:6).Itdoesnotmerelysay"godliness
isgreatgain".Doesthisaccountforthefactthatmanyso
calledgodlypeoplearesodiscontented?TheScripturestell
us, "Butifwehavefoodandclothing,withthesewewillbe
content (1Timothy 6:18). But how have we obeyed this
command?AnotherverseofScripturesays, Youshallnot
covet(Exodus20:17),and,Keepyourlifefreefromloveof
moneyandbecontentwithwhatyouhave,forhehassaid,I
willneverleaveyounorforsakeyou(Hebrews13:5).
Isdiscontentwithanyaspectofoursituationclosetocovet
ousness?Covetousnesswhichisidolatry(Colossians3:5).It
maybeidolatryoftheself,orofanyotherformofidolatry.
Anddoyouseekgreatthingsforyourself?Seekthemnot,for
behold, I am bringing disaster upon all flesh, declares the
Lord.ButIwillgiveyouyourlifeasaprizeofwarinallplaces
towhichyoumaygo(Jeremiah45:5).Giveusthisdayour
dailybread(Matthew6:11AV).
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Ifyouarediscontentedwithyourlot,inanydetail,besure,
youarefindingfaultwiththewillofGodanddoubtingHis
loveforyou.Ifthisisso,howmuchwesin.Infact,wedaily
sin.Wehave"grievedtheHolySpirit(Ephesians4:30).Let
ussetoutmindsoncontentment.
ToshowourgratitudeforHisgiftsisthebestthingwecan
doforHim,for Asfortherichinthispresentage,charge
themnottobehaughty,nortosettheirhopesontheuncer
tainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with
everythingtoenjoy(1Timothy6:17).
Contentmentisperfectrest,andperfectpeace.Itasksfor
nothing,seeksfornothing,hopesfornothing,wishesnoth
ing,butwhatGodgives.Itceasestoseehowitscondition
canbebettered,knowingthatwhatGodhaswilledmustbe
perfect. Contentment does not ask tosee the reason why
GoddoesonethingoranotherorwhyHewithholdsthings
whichlooklikeblessings.Withopenhands,itreceivesall
HisgoodgiftsandthanksHimforHisloveandcare.
Contentmentdoesnotlook onintothefuturewith dread
butknowsthatGodwillprovide.Ithasnowantsandno
cares,excepttoknowHimmoreandtoloveHimbetter.
This state is the duty of every believer and especially of
thosewhoarecalledtoconstanttemptationstosinagainst
contentment,insickness.Goddoesnotmakeanythingour
duty unless it is possible to attain it, unless it is for our
highestgoodandunlessHegivesusthestrengthtoperform
whatHerequiresofus.
So let us truly understand what contentment means and
seekitinourhearts:OLord,myheartisnotliftedup;my
eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with
thingstoogreatandtoomarvellousforme.ButIhavecalmed
andquietedmysoul,likeaweanedchildwithitsmother;like
aweanedchildismysoulwithinme.OIsrael,hopeinthe
LORDfromthistimeforthandforevermore(Psalms131).
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OIsrael,hopeintheLord!ForwiththeLordthereisstead
fastlove,andwithhimisplentifulredemption.Andhewillre
deemIsraelfromallhisiniquities(Psalms130:7,8).
3.2Sympathy
Sympathy57especiallyshouldbedevelopedinusbyillness.
Noonewhoissickhastrulyunderstoodthelessonthatit
wasdesignedtoteach,untilheorshehaslearntsympathy.
Theymaydeeplyfeeltheirdeficienciesinsympathy,forwe
areallbynature,hardandlackinginsympathy.
Humanbeingsareveryslow tolearntruesympathy.Itis
veryeasytosympathisewithsomepeople,peoplewhosuit
ourtaste,andwiththosetrialswhichareexactlylikeour
own.Butthisisactuallyaformofselfloveandselfishness.
Insympathisingwiththem,weseem,asitwere,tosympath
isewithourselves.Weneverforgettherelationoftheirtrials
to our own. Thoughts of selfpity underlie our own sym
pathy.Infact,sickness,wronglyreceived,increasesselfish
nessinfinitely.Butsickness,rightlyreceived,graduallycasts
outtheuncleanspirit,"whosenameisLegion"(Mark5:9).
Sympathyisnotnaturaltous.Itcanonlybegiventousby
oursympathisingHighPriestasHewas "perfectedthrough
suffering (Hebrew2:10)andsoHeperfectsus.Avoidsay
ing,withsorrowofheart,"Ihavenosympathy.Mybesetting
sinhasbeentosympathiseonlywithafewpeopleandfrom
themanyIhavealwaysbeentemptedtoturnaway,asin
whichIhavetoolittleresisted.Thereissomethinginthat
person's manner which I cannot be attracted to, and we
seemtohavefew,ifany,pointsincommon".
Insteadshowsympathyifyouwanttoreceiveit.Createthe
'atmosphere'andyouwillinhaleitalso.Sympathyisnota
naturalgift,thoughafewnaturesmaybesoendowedwith
Sympathymaybedefinedaskindnesstowardsomeonewhosuffers;
pity;commiseration;compassion.
57
174
itastoshadowforththefullrealitywhichcanonlybeob
tained by living with Him who is perfect sympathy and
throughdeeplythinkingofthatlivingwaterthatflowsfrom
Hispiercedside.Itisallinvaintoseekforthegiftofsym
pathyinourselvesasitisnotthere.Wemustgrowtodevel
opitandthebestwayistofeelthatweareutterlywithout
it.Inthisway,wearedriventoaskitofHimwhogivesgen
erously to all without reproach, and it will be given him"
(James1:5).
Thewaytogrowinsympathyistoseekforincreaseofchar
ity58 orChristianlove.Theessenceofsympathyischarity.
Noonewithouttruecharitycanlackgodlysympathy.He
whowasperfectlovehadperfectsympathy.Themorewe
areconformed totheimageof perfect love, the more we
reallyunderstandandseektopracticeSt.Paul'sdescription
ofcharity(lovein1Corinthians13),thetruer,themore
abiding,thedeeperwillbeoursympathy.
Sympathyisnotagiftwhichonceobtainedwillneverfailor
diminish.ItisonlybydwellingintheGodofLoveandof
sympathythatwecanshadowforthHisloveandHissym
pathy.Itmustbedailyandhourlyrenewedandflowinto
ourhearts,straightfromHim.Ifweareconvincedthatwe
do not understand thewants orthe trials of another, we
mustaskHimtointerpretthemtousorelsetogiveusthe
wordstospeak,makingusmerelythechannelsofHisgrace.
There is another sense in which sympathy may be cultiv
ated.Wemustconstantlyexercisesympathy,andnotrefuse
ittoanyone.Wemayresolveatalltimestoshowinterestin
otherpeople.Theymaycomeandtellusthingswhichseem
toussuperficialtrifles.Wemaybetemptedtoscoffatsuch
aslightwoundortotellthemthisthingisofnoimportance.
Butbearinmindthatnothingisatriflewhicheithertests
anotherpersonoraffectstheirwelfare.Also,ifwetreattheir
testlightly,thispersonmaybesecretlyhurt.Theywillnot
58
Charity,inthiscontext,isanotherwordforactivelove.
175
expect to receive sympathy for some greater wound and

withholdthedetailsfromus.Inthisway,fromthewantofa
little act of selfdenial, we may have prevented ourselves
fromthedelightandblessingofreallyhelpingthemwhen
wegladlywouldhavedoneso.
Sickpeopleshouldgiveeveryonewithwhomtheymeet,a
causetofeelthatinanytrouble,greatorsmall,theywillal
waysfindreadysympathyandakindreception,nevertobe
turned away. They must give cause toothers to feel that
theywillbemetwiththegreatestkindness,consideration,
andencouragement.Todothisrequirescontinualselfdeni
albothinbodyandthemind.
Youmaybeparticularlyconcentratingonsomeactivity.Ifit
isinterrupted,trytoavoidshowingthatyouhavebeenin
terruptedorthatitisaninconvenienceorannoyancetoyou.
Youmaybetryingtorest,butifarealdemandforsympathy
orhelpcomes,donotrefusetomeetit.Youmaybefeeling
peculiarlywornoutinbodyandinspirit,butconsiderHim
whosaid,whenHewaswearyandhungry,Myfoodistodo
the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work
(John4:34).
Youmayhavebeenfeelingwornoutandarevainlyseeking
thatquietnessandcalmnessofspiritwhichhasbeentaken
fromyoubycontinuedstrain.Youseemtohavebeenat
tendingtotheclaimsofothersallday.Youhavejustlaid
downtorestandrejoicedinthecomfort,whensomenew
calluponyourstrengthcomes.
Ifitclearlyisacall,donotturnawayfromitfromit,but
giveready,tenderandlovingsympathy.Youwillberewar
dedforyourselfdenialifnotnow,theninEternity,where
allthoseactswhichyoumayhavelongsinceforgottenwill
meet you againand where everytear of true compassion
that youhaveshedwillberememberedby Him whohas
commanded you to weep with those who weep" (Romans
12:15).InHeaven,everysmilebywhichyouhavecheered
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anotherperson,everylovingword,everysympathizinglook,
everypressureofthehandwhichtouchedamourner'sheart
willberemembered.Forthere,Joywillmeetyouforevery
timethatyouhaverejoicedwiththemthatrejoiceorhave
gladdenedsomeone'sheart,byyourglowingorheartyparti
cipationinwhathasgladdenedthem.
Beassuredthatthisshallbe,becausetoshowsympathyisto
"walkintheblessedstepsofChrist'smostholylife" 59.The
tearswhichHeshedonearthare'guarantees',foreshadow
ing those which He sheds with us, day by day. And He
wouldnothavebiddenustoweepwiththemthatweep"
unlessHehadsetustheexample.
We never weep even in spirit, but He weeps with us. Be
thankful,then,ifHecallsyouthustowalkwithHim.Often,
theeffortwillbeverygreat.Youfeelthatyourroomismade
thefocuswhereallthetroublesoftheworldmeet.Some
times,itisverywearying toyou andyou aretemptedto
wishitotherwiseandtowonderwhyyouhavetheseaddi
tionstoyourburdens?
RatherrejoicethatyouarepermittedtofollowinHissteps
whoneverturnedanyoneaway.He,whenHewasonearth
calledHisdisciplestocome"apartintoadesertplaceand
restawhile;forthereweremanycomingandgoing,andthey
had noleisure so much as to eat (Mark 6:31). Whenthe
peoplesawHimandfollowedHim,insteadofturningthem
away because He and His disciples wanted rest, He was
movedwithcompassiontowardsthem,becausetheywereas
sheephavingnoshepherd,andHebegantoteachthemmany
things.
Yougo,anddolikewise(Luke10:37).
Remember,too,thatthereisencouragementinthefactthat
yourfriendsbringtheirlittletroublesandanxietiestoyou.
Itisnotthemerefactofyourbeing"afixedspot"inthe
59
aCollect.
177
worldandalwaystobefound.Itisthisthatcausesthemto
doso.Theywouldnotcontinuetobringthemiftheyfound
nosympathyfromyouandnounderstandingoftheirneeds.
Rejoice, then, to be made like your Lord and Master, for
thoughyoucannot goaboutdoinggood,youcanlie still
andletyourfriendscometoyouandattempttodothem
good.
Donot imaginethat you ought toshow sympathy just in
greatspiritualtrialsandtroubles,inallspiritualthings,but
notintemporalthings.Letyoursympathybeuniversal.You
maybeaskedtodecidebetweentwocolours,toadviseon
somearticleofclothing,tolookatsomebookwhichmay
notinterestyou.Themannerofyourdoingsoforallyou
know,mayaffectthewholelifeofthepersonwhoasksyou
foradvice.Theymaybestruckwiththereadinessofyour
sympathyinatriflingthingwhichdoesnotreallyinterest
youanditmaydrawthemtoyou.Itmaymakethemfeelaf
terwards,whensomeheavytrialscome,thatyou,atleast,
couldsympathizewiththemandtheymayturntoyou.Then
youmaybepermittedtoofferthemsympathy,inareally
deepissue.
Tryalsotocultivateasympathizingapproach.Lettherebe
sympathyinyourvoice,yourtoneandinyourmanner.Let
nothingcontradictyourwords.Kindwordsmaybesaidof
tenwithoutit,buttheyfailtogototheheart.
Butawordsaidwithrealtendernessandfeelingmayheal
andsoothetoanextentwhichwecannotevaluateinthis
life.Thiskindofdisciplineisawonderfulcureforthatex
actingspiritbywhichsomany,andespeciallysickpersons,
areinjuredanddistressed.
Neverseeksympathyfromothers.Give,anditwillbegiven
toyou. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, run
ningover,willbeputintoyourlap.Forwiththemeasureyou
useitwillbemeasuredbacktoyou (Luke6:38).Giveand
youwillsurelyreceiveitagain,infargreatermeasurethan
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youevergaveit,ifnotfromthosetowhomyougaveit,if
notevenfromanyfriendsonearth,yetfromHewhohas
said,Truly,Isaytoyou,asyoudidnotdoittooneofthe
leastofthese,youdidnotdoittome"(Matthew25:45).He
willgiveyouadeeperanddeeperknowledgeandrealisa
tionofHisownsympathywhich"passesknowledge60".
3.2Patience
The chronically sick need patience and patience of many
kinds.Patienceinbearingpain,patienceinbearingallthe
deprivationscausedbysicknessandinbearingitsmanyand
accumulatedtrials.Thepatientneedspatiencetobearwith
thosearoundhimorher,withtheirsins,negligenceandig
norance, and with all the misunderstandings and obtuse
ness.Someoneillneedspatiencetobearwiththeirowncir
cumstancesinlife,withtheirownpeculiarlot.Theyneed
patience to wait for the appointed time until his change
come(Job14:14AV).
Itisindeedtruethat,"Youhaveneedofpatience(Hebrews
10:36AV).Theneedseemstogrowmoreandmoreintense,
astimegoeson.Attimesthedifficultyofbeingpatientmay
seemtodecreasebutthen,again,itwillsoonbecomeasdif
ficultasbefore.Attimes,allthecausesforimpatienceseem
togatherstrengthatonceandone'snervesseemcompletely
shattered.Everything drainsyou.Youseecausefor impa
tience where you never did before, yet you feel utterly
withoutpatienceandasifthesewordsappliedtoyou:Woe
tothemthathavelostpatience,and thathaveforsakenthe
rightways,andhavegoneasideintocrookedways (Ecclesi
astes2:16).
Sometimes the loss of patience is very sudden. You may
seem,eventoyourself,patientandquiet,whensuddenlya
fiercetemptationtoimpatiencemayariseandovercomeyou
Ephesians3:19...andtoknowtheloveofChristthatsurpassesknow
ledge,thatyoumaybefilledwithallthefullnessofGod.
60
179
whenyouarequiteunprepared.Theimpulseismomentary
butthesufferinginvolvedinovercomingitandthesorrow
ofheartthatyouhavebeenbetrayedintosinwillremain
longwithyouandtakefromyouconfidence.Youwillfeelas
ifitishopelesstoeverexpecttobecomehabituallypatient,
restinginpatience.
Perhaps,inthiscase,aswithsympathy,wetendtolookon
patienceasanaturalgift,athingbelongingtosomepeople,
whileothersarecompletelybereftofit.Wespeakofoneor
anotherperson having apatient character". Some people
certainlyhavemorenaturalpatiencethanothers,butitis
unlikelythatitwillstandthemwellinatimeofdeepneed
orofsoreconflict.Thenitwillbefoundthat:Thebedistoo
short to stretch oneself on, and the covering too narrow to
wraponeselfin(Isaiah28:20).Patientcharacterwillstand
nosuchtest.
Inashortillness,thecallsforpatience arecomparatively
few.Itiswhenthewearydayscontinue,oneafteranother,
bringingtheirownpettytrialshiddentobystanders,thatits
fullneed is felt. It is then that they who have been con
sideredorwhohaveconsideredthemselves'patient',know
whatafalsereputationtheyhadandwhatafalsefounda
tiontheywerelivingon.Nowalltheglosshasgoneand
theyseethemselves"wretched,pitiable,poor,blind,andna
ked(Revelations3:17).
Inthepast,youmayhavewonderedwhytheChurchprayed
forallsufferers,thattheymayhavepatienceintheirsuffer
ings61".Youmayhavethoughtthat'comfort'wasthebetter
andamorenecessarythingtoprayforthem.Now,youun
derstandwhataknowledgeofyourcurrentneedwasshown
in that prayer. It is not comfort that you crave for, now,
thoughyouareverythankfultoreceiveitwhenyourFather
RefertoJames5:10Asanexampleofsufferingandpatience,brothers,
taketheprophetswhospokeinthenameoftheLord.
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180
inHeavenseesfittogiveitbut,patience,oryoucannotgo
onyourwearywayforanotherhour.
Yousometimesfeelsecretlyashamedwhenafriendspeaks
ofyourpatience.Patience!Youwhoareincontinualconflict
withimpatienceandwhoselifeisonestrugglewithit.You
whoseemtoyourselfforeverfailingtoholdyourtemper;
whosetearsandremorsecouldoftenwitnesshowlittleyou
think that you have patience; you who groan before the
Godofpatience"(Romans15:5),askingHimtomakeyou
likemindedwithHimself.
Attimes,youalmostthinkthatpeoplearemockingyouand
itmakesyousecretlyangry.Butthereisencouragementin
thewords,becauseasdeeplyasyoumayhavebeenaware
oftheinwardconflict,youhavereasontobelieve,iftheyare
truthfulandsincerefriends,thatyourstrugglehas,bythe
graceofGodbeenhiddenfromalleyes,butHis.Youhave
notbeenpermittedtoletitbreakoutindeedorword.And
soyou"thankGodandtakecourage"(Acts28:15AV).
Itoftenhappensthatthelongdisciplineofsicknessandsuf
feringisagifttoimpetuous,impatientoroveractivespirits.
Tothem,ofcourse,theirnaturalimpatienceislikeacon
stantfueltothefirewhichburnswithinthemandthisdis
ciplinewillbeaverysoretrial.Ifthisisyourcase,remem
berthat"greaterisHethatisforyou,thanalltheythatare
against you", that "the battle is not yours, but God's" (2
Chronicles20:15)andyou inallthesethingswillbemore
thanconquerorsthroughhimwholovedus (Romans8:37).
Sufferingproducesendurance(Romans5:3).
A quiet, calm frame of mind, fixing itself on God, is the
foundationofpatience.Inquietnessandconfidenceshallbe
yourstrength"(Isaiah30:15AV)whichisalsoexpressedby
thewords"Byyourenduranceyouwillgainyourlives"(Luke
21:19).
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Stillnessproducespatience.Butwemustfirstgetintothe
right'posture'beforewecanremaininit.Whatispatience
butremaininginthepostureofstillness?Youwillsay,How
difficultthisis! Yes,itis. Shouldwesaythatitis'im
possible'?Itwouldbe,ifitwerenotfortheGodofpatience,
whoisourrefuge.Thereforewecansay,"WhyshouldIfear
intimesoftrouble,whentheiniquityofthosewhocheatme,
surroundsme"(Psalms49:5).
Wehavenopatience.Letusbeclearaboutthat.Wemust
seeksomewherethisthingwhichwesoabsolutelyneed.We
havenotfartogo,for"heisactuallynotfarfromeachoneof
us (Acts17:27)andHeistheGodofpatience".Weneed
notaskHimtogiveittousbecauseevenHisownbestgifts
wouldsoonperishinourkeeping.Besides,weshouldsoon
growproudofit,ifwethoughtthatpatiencewereourown
andtheoffspringofourownhearts.
Letus,instead,askHimtouniteusmoreandmoretoHim
self,toenableustodwellinHim,somuchthatwelivein
Him,walkinHimandactinHim.TodwellinHimsomuch
thatwearenotabletodoanythingonourown.Letusask
to dwell in Him so completely that we always feel His
strengthsupporting and upholding us, that we are in His
armsandcanresttherewithallourweightrestingonHim.
LetusasktodwellinHimsothatwealwaysaskHimtobe
withusandinuswhenwespeak,nevertoallowustobeso
hurriedinourselvesthatweshallnotfindtheleisureand
quietnesstoturntoHim.
Thereisnoothercureforimpatienceexceptinincreasing
ourunitywithHim.Thereare,however,thingswecandoto
increase our chancesof overcoming the problem, through
Him:
a)Whenyoufeelimpatiencecomingon,ifpossible
donotspeakbecauseifyoudo,thewordswhichyou
saywillgiveyougreatsorrowandinnerconflict.
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b)Ifitisnecessarytospeak,commendyourselffirst
toGodlikethis;OGod,makespeedtosaveus"or,
OLord,makehastetohelpus";Lord,savemeor
Lord,helpme".Anyprayerfulwordswilldobutjust
letthembeanactofcommendingyourselftoGod.
Thenbestronganddonotfear.Speakwhatisneces
sary.
c)Donottormentyourselfaboutimpatienceandbe
constantly imagining that you are impatient, or it
willbutmakeyoumoreso.
d)Donotaccuseyourselfofthesinofimpatiencein
anexaggeratedmanner.
e) When you have shown impatience to any one,
whethertoafriendortosomeonehelpingorsup
portingyou,acknowledgeitanddistinctlysaythat
youknowwhatyoudid,thatyouwerewrongand
are sorry. Say it briefly and do not try to excuse
yourself.Itisamostusefulhabitandarealrouteto
humility if practised properly, especially when the
personconcernedisinalesspowerfulposition,than
yourself.Itistheonlyrestitutionthatyoucanmake
tothemandtheexamplewillbeablessingtothem.
Itwillshowthemalsothatyouwereawareofyour
wrongdoingandthatyoudonot sin,withoutcon
scienceorwithouttruerepentance.
f) Observe which things stress your patience most
andifpossibleavoidthem.Butifyoucannot,ifthey
comeinyourdailyroutine,thenespeciallywatchout
forthose'weakpoints'andbeonyourguardatall
timesagainstthem.Ifanyparticularpersonmakes
youimpatient,beespeciallyonthewatchwhenyou
arewiththem.Ifyouknowthattheyarecoming,ask
Godtobewithyouandtostrengthenyourheart.If
not,thenlookuptoHimatthetime,forhelp.
183
h)Donotexpecttobeexemptfromimpatience:you
cannotbe,whileyouareweak. "Notemptationhas
overtaken you that is not common to man. God is
faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond
your ability, but with the temptation he will also
providethewayofescape,thatyoumaybeabletoen
dureit(1Corinthians10:13).
i)Rememberthatalthoughsicknessisaspecialop
portunityfortheexerciseofpatience,itisastatein
whichallthedeepestimpatience ofyournatureis
stirredupandisoftengreatlyaggravatedbydrugs
andmedicines.
ThegreatremedyistoConsiderhimwhoenduredfromsin
nerssuchhostilityagainsthimself,sothatyoumaynotgrow
wearyorfainthearted.Inyourstruggleagainstsinyouhave
notyetresistedtothepointofsheddingyourblood(Hebrews
12:34). Forthislightmomentaryafflictionispreparingfor
usaneternalweightofglorybeyondallcomparison(2Cor
inthians4:17).
WhatmorethanHishelpdoweneed?Whatmorewouldwe
ask?Nowourtrialsscarcelyseem'lightafflictions',butthey
donotseemsoslightbecausewelookatthemalone. "For
thethingsthatareseenaretransient,butthethingsthatare
unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18). Instead, let us
moreoftenlookatthosethingswhichareunseenandetern
al",andthesepresentthingswillchangetheirappearance.
Letusbearpatientlyeventhegreatesttrialofourownpa
tience,ifitisgoingtorevealoursintous.Thenweshallbe
enabled,inthestrengthofGod,toovercomeit.Thetrial
simply makes us hang upon Him and learn that "without
Himwecandonothing(John15:5AV)."Alittlewhile"and
thetemptationsandprovocationstoimpatiencewillallbe
ended.
184
Let us bear the temptations now while God lays these

"crosses"uponus.LetHimfollowHisownwayofhumbling
us, which is sometimes to permit us to sin before and
againstothers,sothatwemaylearnhowweakwearein
ourselvesandthatthereisnosafetyforusbutdwellingin
theGodofpatience."
Inthisway,weshallbe"strengthenedwithallpower,accord
ingtoHisgloriousmight,forallenduranceandpatiencewith
joy"(Colossians1:11).LetusaskHimtoenableustoexem
plify
"aquietandcomposedpatience" withoutthetumult
oftroubledthoughtsanddiscontentedpassions;
asubmissiveresignationwithoutreluctance,toHis
will,ofrebelliousmurmurings;
apatienceofhopethatdoesnotsinkunderourbur
dens,norisdrivenbyphysicalormentalpaintomis
trustHislove,careorgraciouspromises;
athankfulpatience, that isawareofcomforts and

supportsaswellasofoursicknesses;thatconsiders
allpresentsufferingstobefarlessthanwedeserve
andallpastandpresentmerciestobeinfinitelymore
thanwedeserve.
Makeusperfect,OFather!Inthispatience,letuswaitupon
Hisleisureandnotbehasty.LetuswaitonHimandnot
growwearybutinsteadbeareverythinginthecomforting
hopeofHisstrengthtosupportourpresentweakness,ofHis
mercytocomfort usandtodeliverusatlast,eitherto a
morehealthylife,ortoahappydeath,throughthemedi
ationofJesusChristourLord.Amen.
3.4Submission
Thosewhohavetrulylearnedpatiencehavebeenlearning
submission,atthesametime.However,thereisadifference
185
betweenpatienceandsubmission.Patienceislyinginastill
posturebeforeGod,waitingonHiscommandsandinHis
timing.Patienceistherefrainingfromalleffort,vehemence
andeagerness,everythingthatwouldgetinthewayoff,or
runaheadoftheleadingofGod.
Submissionistheactualsurrenderofourselves,ourbodies,
souls,spiritsandwillsintothehandsofGod,thegivingup
everythingtoHim.Itisthepracticalsayingoftheheartthat
says,"YouknowbetterthanIdoandyouchoosebetterthan
Ichoose".Itisanactinwhichweyieldeverythinginourlife
toHimandanattitudeinwhichwearepleasedwithwhat
pleasesHim.
But submission is very slow in growth. This is because it
whollyopposesandresistsnature.Wehavestrongwillsof
ourownandtheystrivefiercelywiththewillofGod.Even
ourprayersaretheexpressionsofourselfwill.Even,ifwe
willnotdaretosaythewords,dowenotoftenmean,"My
willbedone"?
Wemaypassionatelypraythatthisorthatthingmaybegiv
entous,which,ifitweregranted,wouldmakeusmiserable
fortherestofourlives!Youmayhaveaskedforsomespe
cialgiftandinsteadofitsbeinggiven,youhavereceivedthe
veryopposite.
Youhaveaskedforwork,activeworkforthegloryofGod
andtheanswertoyourprayerhasbeenthislifelongsick
ness.Youhaveaskedforpatienceandasicknesshasbeen
sent, which especially brings out your impatience!
Everythingthatyouhaveaskedfor,seemsansweredbythe
opposite.Youhavebeenalmosttemptedtoceasefrommak
ing any requests, for not one, it seems to you, has been
granted.
You think that if you had asked for bright things and
worldlygifts,youwouldhaveunderstoodit.Butyouasked
forthingsthatyourinnerheartdidnotcrave.Whatacon
flictofspiritfollows.Everythingfrustratesandupsetsyou
186
andyoucannotunderstandit.Youwerenotsorebellious
beforeyourillness.Youdidnotalwayssodislikethewaysof
God.Moreoveryouthoughtthatyouhadtrulygivenyour
selfuptoHim.
YouarenotmistakeninhowyouseeHimworkinginyour
life.ItisjustbecauseyouhadnotgivenyourselfuptoHim
thatHeanswersyoulikethis. HehastakenyoutobeHis
ownandHewillhaveyou,wholly,entirely,withoutanyre
servations,"forricherorpoorer;forbetterorworse62".
YouhaveofferedyourselftoHimandnowyoumustaccept
Histerms.Hewillhavenorivals,for HeisajealousGod
(Exodus20:5).Hesays,Myson,givemeyourheart,andlet
youreyesobservemyways(Proverbs23:26).Ifyoudogive
itstraightaway,Hewillhavethewhole,undividedheart.
Theidolsshallutterlypassaway"(Isaiah2:18).Hewill"cast
themtothemolesandthebats"(Isaiah2:20)63.Donotbesur
prisedtoseethemcastout.DonotwonderifHe "makesa
whipofcordsandhedrivesthemallout"(John2:15)sothat
yourheartmaybeafitdwellingplaceforHim,a"templeof
theHolySpirit"(1Corinthians6:19),thedwellingplacefor
GodbytheHolyspirit(Ephesians2:22).
Yourheartneedsagreatpurgingandrefining.Theprocess
willbeverylong.Yetitmustbelikethisifyouaretoattain
truesubmission.Atfirst,itisallaboutstruggle,oneunceas
ingfight.Thereisaperpetualsenseofcombat,ofhaving
yourwillatvariancewithHis.Then,gradually,itbecomes
lessandlessso.But then, again, yourown will seemsto
gaintheupperhandandafiercestrugglefollows.
Yousayinternally,"Willitalwaysbelikethis?"No,itwill
not. You may wrestle until all your resources are out of
62
fromtheMarriageService
Inthatday,mankindwillcastawaytheiridolsofsilverandtheiridols
ofgold,whichtheymadeforthemselvestoworship,tothemolesandto
thebats.
63
187
joint64andyoursinewsarestrained.Goon!Wrestleuntil
break of day: the morning will dawn soon. For He who
fightsinyou,willwin.
Intheutmostsenseofyourownweakness,youwillresign
yourselftotallytoHim.Fromthenon,therewillbemoreof
Hiswillinyou,thanofyourown,or,atleast,youwilllove
Hiswillbetterandgrowinlovetowardsit,daybyday,until
youwilldrawbackfromallotherchoices.Youwillfeelthat
Heknowswhatisbestforyou,andthatyouknownothing.
Then,youwillfindthatinyieldingtoHiswill,thereisrest
and,soonerorlater,pleasuretoo.Soyouwillprefertoyield
toHim, walkinginthedarkwithoutknowingwhereyou
are going, than to choose or act yourself, in what seems
cleardaylight.Youwillhavelearnedthat,Godislight,and
inHimisnodarknessatall(1John1:5).Infact,youarein
yourownwill, in utterdarkness, onlyhaving light,when
youwalkin"theLight."
Donotthinkitisalloverdoneandtheconflictisended.
Your course is decided on. In that general submission to
Him,youwillseenoalteration,sincetherealbiasofyour
willnowistowardsHim.Butthe"changesandchancesof
thismortallife65"willstillaffectyouwhileyouremainhere
onearth.
Youmaygetquiteusedtoonesetofcircumstanceswhile
another set may come along, test your self will all over
again and renew the inner conflict. It may be that the
changeincircumstances,tooutwardobservers,mayseema
pleasantone.Theymaybefrequentlycongratulatingyouon
it,whiletoyouitmaybeaverytryingordeal.Theycannot
understandyourfeelings.Theythinkyouarealittleodd,
evenunaccountableorevenungrateful.Youcannotexplain
WhenthemansawthathedidnotprevailagainstJacob,hetouched
hishipsocketandJacobshipwasputoutofjointashewrestledwith
him(Genesis32:25).ThemanhereistheSecondPersonoftheTrinity.
64
65
Collect,BookofCommonPrayer
188
italltothemsatisfactorily,andgenerallyyouarebetternot
to even try. They could not understand that all changes,
even for the better, are very trying to most of the sick
thoughsomecraveforchangeincessantly,andwillnotbe
satisfiedwithoutit.Itmayseemeccentricityinyou,andper
hapsitmayinvolvemanyinnerconflicts.
Oryoumayhavenewassociations,newtrialstogetusedto
and new circumstances to adapt yourself to. Eventually,
yourcircumstancesmaybecomemorepleasantbutchanges
arenewandthereforeatrial.Butinsteadofreceivinganyof
thesympathywhichyounaturallyexpect,youarethought
difficulttopleaseandwayward.
Sometimesyougetalotofsympathyforsomethingwhichis
comparativelytrifling,whichyoureallydonotthinkmuch
of.Thisisbecauseatthesametime,thereissomethingvery
trying,whichiswhollyunnoticedbyallyourfriendseven
thoughitiseatingatyourveryheart'score.
Youfindthisaspecialtrial,thisinequalityofsympathyand
commiseration,thislackofresponsivenessinothers.Itisa
peculiartestofsubmissionbecauseitinvolvesreceivingthe
offered sympathy, for which there seems no real reason,
thankfullyandcheerfullyandinvolvesacceptingthelackof
the sympathy which you feel is really called for and for
whichyourspiritcraves.
Donotgetupset.Themoreyourtrialsareunknownandun
noticedthemoreentirelytheycanbebornefor,andtoGod.
IfyouofferthemalluptoHim,youwillhaveHissympathy,
suchasyounevercouldhavehadit,evenifhumansym
pathyhadintervened.
MayHerememberallyourofferingsandregardwithfavour
yourburntsacrifices!(Psalms20:3).
Let the patient offer up his will to God in this, as in all
things,andhe willbynomeanslosehisreward" (Matthew
10:42).SubmityourselvesthereforetoGod(James4:7).
189
Godhasmanywaysofteachingsubmission.Oftenwhenyou
arelyinginastateofalmostlethargy,ofcompletefatigue
whichisquiteunutterable,thereis,infact,muchpassing
betweenGodandyoursoul.Orrather,HeisworkingallHis
worksinyou,foryouarelyingstill,scarcelyconsciousof
anythingbutextremeexhaustion,andallitsattendantsuf
fering.
Infact,Heisbendingyourwill,Heisteachingyouhowto
yieldyourselfuptoHim,Heisteachingyoutheutmostof
yourweaknessthatyoumaylearnwhatismeantby "the
LordGodisaneverlastingrock (Isaiah26:3). Heisgiving
youtheverytryingdisciplineof'nothingness',inorderthat
youmaylearnwhatyoureallyare,inHissight.HeHimself
iscrushingyou.Thereforefearnot,for abruisedreedhe
willnotbreak,andasmoulderingwickhewillnotquench"
(Matthew12:20).HewillnotlayHishanduponyoumore
heavilythanisnecessaryinhealingallthewoundsofyour
soul.
The greatest help in achieving submission is to receive
everythingstraightfromGod.Donotlookatsecondcauses.
Neverallowyourselfthatexcuse.Donotlookbacktothe
beginning of your illness and think how it first came on,
how it might, perhaps, have been avoided, how it might
havebeenremovedinitsearlystages,howcircumstances
haveaggravateditanddosostill.Yourcasehasnothingto
dowiththesethings.
Godsentyourillness,fromthefirst.Godpermittedtheer
rorsandoversightsofyourfriends,ifyouareawareofany.
Godplacedyouwhereyounoware,exactlyintheverycir
cumstancesinwhichyoufindyourself.Whateveryoufind
faultwith,"Whoareyou,Oman,toanswerbacktoGod?Will
whatismouldedsaytoitsmoulder,Whyhaveyoumademe
likethis?"(Romans9:20).
Alwaysbearthisinmindandneverforgetit.Whenyouare
temptedtomurmuragainstGodatsomelittlecircumstance,
190
askyourselfWhoappointedthis?CouldGodhavepreven
tedthisifHehadnotseenthatitwasnecessaryforyou?So
answer,"Godsentthis:itisthewillofGod.Donotsay,All
thisisverytrueingreatthings,buthowcanitbetruein
littlethingsandtheyarethehardesttomeetwithsubmis
sion?Cananythingwhichconcernsyoube"alittlething"?
Cananythingwhichstirsupevilinyou,ortemptsyoubea
littlething?
Iftheveryhairsofyourheadareallnumbered(Luke12:7
AV),isthereanythingtoosmallforyourFathertonotice?
No,beassuredthatHewellknowshowhardthelittlethings
aretobearanditisbecauseofthatthatHepermitsthem,
so that the tested genuineness of your faith,more precious
than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire, may be
foundtoresultinpraiseandgloryandhonourattherevela
tionofJesusChrist"(1Peter1:7).
Each of these little circumstances, humbly and patiently
borneandwillconformyoutothelikenessofyourLordand
Master.
ThewholelifeofJesusonearthwasonecontinuedcrushing
ofHisWill.Dowedesirethatitshouldbedifferentwithus?
HeHimselfwentnotuptojoy,butfirstHesufferedpain;
HeenterednotintoHisglorybeforeHewascrucified66.In
thesameway,ourwaytoeternaljoyistosufferherewith
ChristandourdoortoeternallifeistogladlydiewithChrist
sothatwemayriseagainfromdeathanddwellwithHim
inlifeeverlasting"(fromTheServicefortheVisitationofthe
Sick).
Ceasefromallstruggle.LetHimfightforyou.Liestillin
Him.Donotteaseyourselfwithaction.Findperfectstillness
andrestinallHiswaysbecausetheyarethewaysofthe
GodofLove.Asknoquestionsbutjustbelievethat,"WhatI
am doing, you do not understand now, but afterwards you
CollectforFridays,MorningPrayer(BookofCommonPrayer).Also
quotedintheServicefortheVisitationoftheSick
66
191
willunderstand (John13:7).Donotsay, Lord,whycanI

notfollowyounow?" (John13:37)butgiveyourselfupto
Himtoleadyouandtoguideyouandtocarryyouwhere
Hewill.
Thisissubmission.
3.5Hope
Oneofthemostnecessarygracesforasickpersontocultiv
ate is hope. For the moment all discipline seems painful
ratherthanpleasant,butlaterityieldsthepeacefulfruitof
righteousnesstothosewhohavebeentrainedbyit(Hebrews
12:11).
Thebrightandjoyfulthingsareallbeyondyouandthedark
anddrearythingssurroundyou.Youlookaroundandasks,
Whereisthebrightblessingofhealth?Thedepressingan
sweris"Itisgoneforever".
No,itisnotgoneforever.Itisawaitingyouwhere"there
shallbenomorepain"(Revelations21:4)whereyoushallbe
withoutspotorwrinkleoranysuchthing,thatshemightbe
holyandwithoutblemish" (Ephesians5:27). Butyoumust
"hopeforwhatwedonotsee,andwaitforitwithpatience"
(Romans 8:25). Yet, a little, and He will transform our
lowlybodytobelikehisgloriousbody" (Philippians 3:21).
Thisblessinghasnotyetcomebutitisinthefutureandyou
musthopeforitnow.Nowhopethatisseenisnothope.For
whohopesforwhathesees?(Romans8:24).
To some people perhaps, hope is natural. They hope for
everythingandalwayslooktothebrightside,expectingthe
happiestandbestresult.Thistemperamentisprobablygiv
entoonlyafewandeventheytowhomitisgiven,ifthey
endurelongyearsofsickness,findhopebecominglessand
lessnaturally.Illnessseemstoeattheverylifeawayandto
makeeverythingjoylessandflat.
192
Yetnooneneedshopemorethanthesick.Itisadreary
thingtoloseallhope.Jobdescribesawearyanddepressed
state, when he says, "My days are swifter than a weaver's
shuttleandcometotheirendwithouthope(Job7:6).Proph
etsIsaiahandJeremiahspeakofnohope" (Isaiah57:10;
Jeremiah2:25)asbeingastateofcompletedreariness.St.
Paulspeaksof "havingnohope" (Ephesians2:12AV)asa
stateofthosewhoareleftwithnothing.
ItistruethatHopedeferredmakestheheartsick,butade
sire fulfilledisatree of life (Proverbs 13:12). Somehave
thoughtthatitisbetternottohopeatall,thantohavethe
chanceofhopebeingdeferred.Theyhaveimaginedthatin
thiswaytheywillbesparedfromtrial.Butsurelythisindic
atescontinualaimingaftersomeearthlythingandthefail
uretoattainit,whenandaswewill.Isthisnotthewayin
whichwegrowsickatheartandwearyofdelay?Butifhope
isaheavenlygrace,givenbyGodHimself,isn'titagood
and precious gift and one that weare toseek by prayer,
whichdoesnotbecomeweary?
Weshouldremembertoo,thatitisaspossibletosinagainst
hope,astosinagainstcharity.Inorder,thereforethatwe
maynotcommitthissin,wemustkeenlyandcontinually
cultivatehope.Thesickwhoareshutoff,fortheremainder
ofthispresentlifefromthebrightthingsofthisworld,who
aretooilltoenjoylife,aresurelynotbeingaskedtohope
forrecovery,ortohopeforbrighterdaysagainonearth?
No. No such lesson is proposed, but rather the lesson of
learningtosay,Yourwillbedone."
Eventhesickwillfinditablessedandapurifyingexercise
totrytohopeandtocontinuehopeasadiscipline.Some
seemtothemselvesinprison,shutofffromallthejoysof
life.Buttheyare "prisoners ofhope"(Zechariah9:12),for
hopewhichisseen,isnothope.Whatamanseeshedoes
nothopefor(Romans8:24).Itisfutureblessingthatthese
souls should be looking for. Therefore hope calls for pa
193
tience.St.Paulspeaksofthe"patienceofhope"(1Thessalo
nians 1:3 AV) and "that we through patience, might have
hope"(Romans8:24)."Patienceworksexperience,andexperi
encehope"(Romans5:4AV)."Itisgoodthatoneshouldwait
quietly for the salvation of the Lord (Lamentations 3:26).
Since"hopepurifies(1John3:3)itmustbeablessedgrace.
Again,wearesavedbyhope"(Romans8:24).Sowearenot
tolieinthegraveofhopelessnessbuttolookforwardtothe
"joythatissetbeforeus"(Hebrews12:2)for"hopedoesnot
putustoshame"(Romans5:5).
Earthlyhope will often disappoint us, but heavenly hope,
hopeinthingsthatareinthefuture will never "make us
ashamed". Hope can put gladness into our heart. We are
toldabouttherejoicingofhope"(Hebrews3:6)andalively
hope" (1Peter1:3),alivingbrightreality. Hopeisnotan
emptything,butthefullassuranceofhope"(Hebrews6:11),
thelivingcertaintythatthosebrightblessingsareaheadof
us,"forgettingwhatliesbehindandstrainingforwardtowhat
liesahead"(Philippians3:13).Itis"asureandsteadfastan
chorofthesoul,ahopethatentersintotheinnerplacebehind
thecurtain(Hebrews6:19).Hopeguaranteesallthingsfor
usandturnsthemintorealities.Throughhopewerealise
thesetruthsandweareenabledto aboundinhope" (Ro
mans15:13).Thatwhichwearetohopeforis"thehope
whichislaidupforyouinheaven"(Colossians1:5)andhope
bringsheavennearer.ItmakesHeavennolongerseemafu
turething,butthatintowhich wewhichhavebelieveddo
enter (Hebrews4:3)feeblyandfaintly,butstill"inheart
andmindweascend."
Hope makes all things become realities, as if they were
already given to us. We possess them now and they are
ours,if weareChrist's,andChristisGod's" (1Corinthians
3:23).Theploughmanshouldploughinhopeandthethresh
erthreshinhopeofsharinginthecrop"(1Corinthians9:10).
Soshouldwe,eventhoughtheseedmayverylongbehid
194
denintheground,continueinhope.Weploughinhope,
now.
Thisistheploughingtime,thesowingtime,theharrowing
time. The harvest will surely come. Hope to the end" (1
Peter1:13)and "yetalittlewhile,andthecomingonewill
come and will not delay" (Hebrews 10:37). We must not
merely hope for future blessings, but even now hope in
God"(Psalms42:5).Oursoulsmaybeveryfaint,butletus
sayheartily,Mysoullongsforyoursalvation;Ihopeinyour
word" (Psalms 119:81). I will hope continually and will
praiseyouyetmoreandmore(Psalms71:14).
Allearthlypleasuresseemtobefadingaway.Youseenore
lieforenjoymentanywhere.Yourownlotisfullofdepres
sion and suffering. You experience conflicts and trials in
yourfamily.Youlookoutattheworldanditseemsfullof
agony.Whereishope?
Donotsayhopeisgone.Instead,sayHopeinGod"."Godis
Light,andinHimisnodarknessatall" (1John1:5).God
onlyremainswhiletheworldisfleeting,passingaway,even
whileyoulookuponit.Youcannotfindhopeintheworld.
"Thehopeoftherighteousbringsjoy,buttheexpectationof
thewickedwillperish"(Proverbs10:28)becausetheLordis
thehopeoftheformer. Happyishewhosehopeisinthe
LordhisGod(Psalms146:5AV).TheLordwillbethehope
ofHispeople (Joel3:16).Ifearthlythingsfailyou "wedo
notwantyoutobeuninformed,brothers,thatyoumaynot
grieve as others do who have no hope (1 Thessalonians
4:13)."
Ifyour friends die, believe that ifyour friendship was 'in
God',youwillsurelymeettheminHispresenceandHehas
simplysentonyourtreasures"sothattheymightbekept
safelyforyou,andsothatyoumaybedrawninspiritto
Eternity.Alittlewhileandyouwillfindthatyourhopewas
nodelusionbutarealityandthatthe"hopelaidupforyou
inheaven"(Colossians1:5)iskeptbytheGodofHope.
195
AskGodtogiveyouhope,daybyday,so thatyou may

aboundinhope"(Romans15:13)andthusglorifyHim,like
Abraham, who "hoped against hope" (Romans 4:18 AV)
wheneverythingseemedagainsthim.YetbecauseGodhad
promised,thereforehestillhoped.Abraham'shopewasso
steadfastthatatthecommandofGod,hewasreadytosacri
ficehishope:hisonlyson.Inthesameway,wemustwe
learntogiveupallourbestearthlyhopesandsacrificethem
ifGodcallsusto,knowingthatwehave"ahopelaidupfor
usinHeaven"(Colossians1:5).
Whileweremainonearth,letushopeinGodsaying,"Why
areyoucastdown,Omysoul,andwhyareyouinturmoil
withinme?HopeinGod;forIshallagainpraisehim,mysal
vationandmyGod"(Psalms42:11).
MaytheGodofhopefillyouwithalljoyandpeaceinbeliev
ing,sothatbythepoweroftheHolySpirityoumayabound
inhope(Romans15:13).
5.6Cheerfulness
You cannot have true cheerfulness whilst you are fiercely
struggling.Itwillnotcomeuntilyourheartisatrestand
youhavetheinnerpeacetoforgetyourself.Ifyouhavea
complainingspirit,youcannothavetruecheerfulnessasit
willgenerallyshowitselfinyourfaceandvoice.Somelittle
fretfulnessorrestlessnessinyourtonewillalwaysbetrayit.
Yourcheerfulnessisforced,notspontaneouslycomingfrom
yourheart,whichitcanonlydowhenyourheartistrulyat
restinGod.YouneedtobesatisfiedwithHiswaysandwish
noalterationinthem.Whenthisistrulythecase,thenyour
heartandmindwillbeliberatedandyouwillbeabletore
joiceinspirit.
Whenyouhaveceasedtobepreoccupiedwithyourself,you
willhavetimetoconsiderothers,tomakethemhappy.You
will seek to be a bright presence, cheering, healing and
196
strengtheningthosearoundyou,especiallymembersofyour
own family. You will always seek to welcome them all
brightly,cheerfullyandcourteously,whenevertheyvisityou
orcomeintoyourpresenceorroom.
Evenifyouarefeelingwearyandexhausted,youwillrouse
yourselftosaysomekindword,ortogiveasmileofkind
ness.Youwilltrytoovercomethatnervousfeelingwhichso
oftenmakesyoudrawbackfromlookingatpeople,makes
youimaginethatyouwouldcryorlaughifyoudid,andthat
thefixingyoureyesanywhereisalmostimpossible.Youwill
earnestlyendeavourtowarmlygreetpeopleandnottoonly
achosenfewonlyandtomakeeveryonefeelthattheyare
welcome,eveniftheircomingisanunwelcomeinterruption
andseemsanunfortunateone.
Takeitasatrial,fromwhichyoumayreceiverealblessingif
youreceiveitcheerfully,patiently,andsubmissivelywithout
questioning.Atanyrate,donotshowthattheirvisitisin
convenientorthatyouwishthemtoleave.Ifyoudo,you
willlosethepersonalblessingthatyoumighthavereceived,
therelativeonethatyoumighthaveimparted.
Ofcourse,therearetimesforeverysickperson,whenthey
arereallyunabletoseetheirfriends,eventhemembersof
theownfamily.Whenthisisthecase,itmaybeexplained
verysensitivelyandmadeapparentthatThespiritindeedis
willing,butthefleshisweak(Matthew26:41).
Donotmeetpeoplewithdullness,coldnessorlackofcon
cern. For the time you are with people, give yourself to
them,maketheirinterestsyourinterests,encouragethemto
speakofthemselvesandtheiraffairsanddonotlayyour
burdensuponthem.Themoreyoulearntobeartheburdens
ofotherpeople,thelighteryourownwillbecome.
YoumaysayThisisaseverelesson.Howcanyou,who
havebeenlyingaloneforsolong,ponderingyourmanytri
als,difficultiesandprivations,makestrainedeffortsonbe
halfofothers,whohavewornyourbodyandyourspirit?
197
Howcanyou,inamoment,layasidealltheseburdensand
meetothersbrightlyandcheerfully,asiftherewerenopres
sureuponyourownspirit?
Tosaythattheeffortisgreatwouldnotbeenough.Itwill
notbeattainedbyoneorevenbyafewdesultoryefforts,
but by a continued, persevering effort, made in and with
God.Youmayhaveinsurmountabledifficulties,youmaynot
succeedinyourdesiresandyoumayoftenbemetwitha
coldabsentmannerwhenyouhavemadethegreatesteffort
tomeetyourfriendswarmlyandkindly.Asenseofcoldness
comeoveryourheart,painfulandoverpowering.Butdonot
be discouraged. Persevere, and He whom you serve will
crownyoureffortsultimatelywithsuccessandwillmakethe
effortdecrease.Rememberthatitiswritten, "theonewho
contributes,ingenerosity;...theonewhodoesactsofmercy,
withcheerfulness;theonewhodoesactsofmercywithcheer
fulness"(Romans12:8).
Allthepleasureofreceivingmercy,sympathy,kindnessis
removed when it is offered cheerlessly and heartlessly,
wearilyorlanguidly.Perhapsbynature,youhavenocheer
fulnessinyourconstitutionoryounevercultivatedit.You
thought it was a natural gift and that those who did not
haveitnotwerenotresponsiblefortheirlackofit.Youhave
learnedtoviewitdifferentlynowandfeelthatitisahigh
Christian duty, one very difficult to attain, and therefore
needingconstantexercise.
Atfirstyouwerewithouthopeaboutit.Yousaidthatyou
couldneverbecheerful,thatyouhadnaturallydepressed
spiritsandthatillnesshadaddedtothedepression.Yousaid
that it was unreasonable to expect that people ought to
bringcheerfulnesstoyouandtoexpectthatyoushouldbe
cheerfultowardsthem.Yousaythatyouhavehadsucha
constantdrainonyourownspirits,thatyouneedthatyour
friendstocomeandrenewthemforyou,bringingsubjects
ofinteresttoyouandtoamuseyourmind.
198
Youtriedthisapproachandfounditfailing,completely,be
causeitwasalwaysanuncertainandunsuregroundofcom
fort.Besides,youwerefitfulandwerenoteasytopleaseor
amuse.Friendssaidanddidthewrongthing,atawrong
time,untilyoumadeitatrialtoyourfriendstocometosee
you.Yousawthattheremustbesomethingwrongandthen
thesecretwasrevealedtoyou.Youweredependingwholly
onfellowhumans,trustingthemtocheeryouandnotliving
independentlyofallearthlypeopleandcircumstances,liv
inginGodalone.
Atfirst,thediscoverywaspainfultoyou,devoidofallhope.
But gradually you turned to "the God of consolation" (Ro
mans15:5)andaskedHimtoenableyoutolet "othersre
cognizethatyouhavebeenwithJesus"(Acts4:13).Norwas
thisall.YoulearnedtorestinHim,tobecontent,notto
complain and soon, you were so freed from thoughts of
yourself,thatyouwereabletogiveyourthoughtstoothers,
toanextent,whichatfirst,seemedtoyouimpossible.
Howmanyrewardsyouhavealreadyreceived,eventhough,
asyet,youpoorlyperformthelesson.Evenyourhealthis
betterforit.Yourmindhasceasedtopreyuponitselfandto
reactonyourbody.Nowyoueveryadvantageisgivento
remediesandyouhavethebesthopeofrecovery.Youhave
hoursanddaysofgladnesswhereyouusedtohavemisery
andsighing.Youfindlifeafarmorepleasantthingthanyou
everimagineditcouldbecome.
Youhavethejoyoffeelingthatyoucanimparthappinessto
othersandthatyoudonotcastlongshadowsonthem.You
have innumerable interests to occupy you and to prevent
yourtimefromhangingwearilyonyourhands.Youhavea
foretaste of that bright world to which we are hurrying
whereneithershalltherebemourning,norcrying,norpain
anymore,fortheformerthingshavepassedaway" (Revela
tions 21:4). By cultivating this spirit, you will gradually
learncompletelyto "rejoicewiththemthatdorejoice" (Ro
199
mans12:15 AV)sothat theirpleasures will become your

ownandyouwillhaveatrueshareinthem.
Try often to plan pleasures for others, to consider their
tastes. Then simply andwithout effort, propose what you
thinkwillmeettheirinterests.Indoingso,youmayoften
havetodenyyourself,tomakesomearrangementsthatwill
disturbyourusualhabitsorwillbeaninconveniencetoyou.
Thiswillbeverygoodforyou,awholesomediscipline.Do
notletitbeseenofmen"asitwouldspoiltheirpleasure
andwouldsurelyrobyouoftheblessing.Instead,showreal
hearty, unconstrained pleasure in everything which glad
densanotherperson'sheart.
Thoughtsmayindeedseemtocastlongshadowsonyou,to
speaktoyouofyourcaptivity,toremindyouofthedays
when you could have joined in with things and enjoyed
them, as others do. But do not let these dark thoughts
darkenyourface.OfferthemtoGodalone,andaskHimto
giveyougracewithyourwholeheart,tosay,Yourwillbe
done".
Thereissometimes,asortofturningaway,anavertedlook,
anaudiblesigh,whenothersaregoingouttoenjoythem
selvesandyoucannotgo.Thisisnotcheerfulnessandmust
notbepermittedinyourself.Thesethingsmustbecrucified.
Letyourheartgoalongwithyourfriends,enjoylifewith
them.Whentheyreturn,willinglyandcheerfully,listento
everythingtheytellyou.Iftheyhavebeenwhereyouhave
neverbeen,seenpeopleyouwishedtosee,buthavebeen
preventedfromseeing,donotavoidhearingaboutthembut
heareverything,withtrueinterestandyouwillfeelasifyou
hadbeenwiththem.Inthejoyofgivingpleasure,youwill
receivealargemeasureyourself.
Seektocultivatethehabitofenjoyment.Itiswonderfulhow
itgrowsandstrengthens.Aflowermaybebroughttous,
andwemaycarelesslyacceptit.Wemayperhapsputitina
vaseofwater,orwemaylookatit,smellit,haveitbyour
200
sideandenjoyit,findingmuchinstructioninit.Wemaybe
cheeredtoobythekindnesswhichbroughtit.Soitiswith
everythingelse.
Youknownotwhatblessedinfluenceonpeoplewhocome
toseeyouthroughcheerfulnesswhocometoseeyou.They
may be strong and healthy now, but sickness may come
upon them too. The remembrance of your cheerful sick
roommaypreventthemfromdreadingit,asmuchasthey
wouldhavedone,iftheirimpressions ofasickroomhad
beenonlythoseofgloomandsadness.Theymaybetemp
tedto much complaining and discontent, but the remem
branceofyourcheerfulfacemaybearebuketothem,orit
mayleadthemtowonderwhatitwasthatmadeyoucheer
fulinthemiddleofsomanytrials.Theymaynevergiveup
theirsearchuntiltheyhavefoundthatwithHimisthewell
oflife"(Psalms36:9AV).
Children,too,mayretainasadorabrightimpressionofyou
alltheirlives.Therefore,asnoneofuslivestohimself,and
noneofusdiestohimself"(Romans14:7)letusseektolive
to others, so that our lives may be a blessing to others,
eternally.
Alwaysrememberthatcheerfulnessmaynotbenaturalto
youandthatyouareboundtoseekforitandtogiveyour
self no rest until you are vigorously cultivating this great
Christianduty.Godalonecanteachyouhowcheerfullyto
accomplish those things which He would have done67".
Strive earnestly to "lay aside every weight, and sin which
clingssoclosely,andletusrunwithendurancetheracethatis
setbeforeus" (Hebrews12:1),everyhindrancetothegreat
dutyofcheerfulness.
Perhaps one of the greatest burdens is not living in the
present, either but allowing your mind to dwell on past
timesandpleasuresnowgone,onblighted hopesandon
purposesunfulfilled,whichwerestoppedbysickness.There
67
TheBookofCommonPrayer(TwentiethSundayafterTrinity)
201
isthethoughtofhindredemployment,worktakenfromyou
andyourwholeself,changedandshattered.Orelse,per
haps,youarelivinginthefuture,formingforyourselfsome
dreamofwhatyouwilldowhenyourecoveryourhealth,
howthingswillbewithyou,howyoucanrenewallyour
pastenjoymentsandgivethemabrighterglowthanthey
everhadbefore.
All this cannot fail to make you discontented with the
presentandwillmakeyourlotseemsadder.Youcannever
be cheerful, until you feel that every one of the circum
stancesinwhichyounowfindyourself,youwereplacedin
bytheGodofLove.Thatisyourcallingandyouaretoabide
init,aslongasHepleaseswhichistosaythatyouaretobe
"stableandsteadfast" (Colossians1:23)notseekingfor,or
desiringchange68.
5.7Thanksgiving
Those who are really feeling and appearing cheerful will
alreadyhavebeenpreparedtojoininthanksgiving.
Theotherdutiesofthesick,whicharecontentment,sym
pathy,patience,andcheerfulness,maybesaidtobeour
duty towards our neighbour69", though each one has also
muchinitofour"dutytowardsGod70".However,submis
sionandthanksgivingareespeciallyour"dutytowardsGod".
To"givethankstoHimforallthings"(Ephesians5:20)isin
Itisnotthatoneshouldnottrytoaidrecoverysincehealthisablessing.
Simplythatoneshoulddisregardthe'present'inillness,intheerroneous
beliefthatithasnoworthorvalue.Onecanbenostalgicaboutsomeas
pectsofillness,suchasintimacywithfellowsufferersandtherapidityof
growthinfaith.
68
Jesusteachesthatwehavea'dutyofcare'towardsmen,women,relat
ives,themarginalised,employeesandchildren:Lovethyneighbouras
thyself.
69
DutiestowardsGodissetoutinthefirstfouroftheTenCommand
ments
70
202
deed,averydifficulttask.Thisisbecauseitincludesgiving
thanksfortrialsofeverykind, forsuffering andpain,for
languor and weariness, for the thwarting of our will, for
contradictions,reproaches,lonelinessandfordeprivations.
Whataharddutyitis,mostofwhichislearntveryslowly.
Yet those who have learned submission will not find it a
hardduty,fortheywillsoentirelyloveeverythingthatGod
willsandappointsforthem,thattheywillseethateachcir
cumstance is the very best for them and one which they
couldnothavebeenspared.Thiswillbeafoundationfor
thanksgiving.Afterwards,theywillseethatHegavethem
justwhattheywouldhavechosenforthemselves.Inlooking
back,theywillseethelinksofthechainandhowwonder
fullyeachfittedtogetherintheirlives,evenif,atthetime,
thereseemedtohavenosenseorunifyingpattern.Thisbe
lief enables them to praise Him and give thanks for
everything,assuredthatjustasithasbeeninthepast,itwill
beinthefutureandthattheGodofLovewilldoallthings
well.Therefore,whileHeisdoingeachthing,wewillsee
somecauseforthanksgiving.Atthismomentthenotesof
praiseareveryfeeblebuttheywillswellmoreandmoreun
til,"withallthecompanyofHeaven,welaudandmagnify
Hisgloriousname71".
Donotdistressyourselfifthanksgivingseemssodifficulta
duty.Itisforeigntoyournaturebutitwillgroweasierand
moredelightfultoyou,inproportiontopractice.Beginwith
thankingHimforalittlethingandthengoon,daybyday,
addingnewtopicstoyoursubjectsforpraise.Inthisway,
youwillfindtheirnumbersgrowwonderfullyand,inthe
sameproportion,yourtopicsforcomplainingwilldecrease,
untilyouseeineverythingsomecauseforthanksgiving.
If you cannot begin with anything positive, begin with
something negative. If your whole lot seems filled with
causesfordiscontent,thereisstillsometrialthathasnot
71
TheCommunionLiturgy
203
beenappointedyouandyoucanthankGodforthatbeing
withheld from you. It is certain that the more you try to
praiseHim,themoreyouwillseehowyourpathandyour
lyingdown,aresetaroundwithHismerciesandthatthe
GodofLoveisalwayswatchingoveryoutodoyougood.In
thesameway,asthesenseofyourunworthinessdeepens,
youwillfindmoreandmorereasonforthanksgiving.
Saytoyourself,SuchmercieshavebeengiventomeandI
amsounworthyofthem.GodisforevershowingHisLoveto
meandyethowlittleIthankandpraiseHimforit.Heisal
waysgivingmegoodgiftsbutIreceivethemasaright,asif
Ihadaclaimtothem.HowlittleIhavepraisedHimuntil
now.Hehasbeengivingmeblessings,eversinceIwasborn,
andIhavescarcelynoticedthem.Ihaveoftentakenthem
forgrantedandasmattersofcourse,and,sadlystillmore
frequently, I have complained about His gifts and com
plained about His loving will. And yet He has not been
weariedbymeorceasedgivingHisgifts,becauseIwasun
grateful.
Thefirstsenseofthisdeepthanklessnessisthemosthum
bling.Butwemustbemadeconsciousofoursinsbeforewe
areabletosay,Iwillgivethankstoyou,OLORD,forthough
youwereangrywithme,yourangerturnedaway,thatyou
mightcomfortme"(Isaiah12:1).Wemayloseoursupports
and comforts as the bright things of life pass away, but
whenwehavelearnedthatthewillofGodispureandper
fectLove,withoutchangeorvariationandthatallHisways
arelovingtous,thenweshalllearntosay,Thoughthefig
treeshouldnotblossom,norfruitbeonthevines,theproduce
oftheolivefailandthefieldsyieldnofood,theflockbecutoff
fromthefoldandtherebenoherdinthestalls,yetIwillre
joiceintheLORD;IwilltakejoyintheGodofmysalvation."
(Habakkuk3:1718).
Theremustbefaith,hopeandloveintruethanksgiving.We
mustbelieveinGodandbelievethatHeisLoveandthatall
204
Hiswaystowardsusaretruefaithfulness.Wemusthopein
God, for "hope purifies" (1 John 3:3) raises us above the
earth,bringsallfuturethingsnearandmakesusseefuture
thingsasrealitiesevennowasbelongingtous.Theremust
beLove,forwemustentirelyloveGodandHiswillandlove
ourneighbourinHimandforHissake.Inthisway,wehave
our souls at rest, free from discontent and from jarring
thoughtswhichwoulddistractusandpreventthatpurityof
heartoutofwhichthanksgivingflows.
Weshalllookatthingswhichareunseen,notatthosesad
andoppressivethingswhichareseen.WewillthankGodfor
thoserealitiesandfindallthemorecauseforthanksgiving,
bycontrastingthosewiththethingswhichareseen.
Wewilllookratheratthatbodywhichshallbe"(1Corinthi
ans 15:37 AV) rather than at this vile body (Philippians
3:21 AV) and thank God for it. Instead of looking at the
areas in which our fellowcreatures give us pain, we will
lookattheirloveandtheirkindness,untilweareastonished
atitandatourownblindnesswhichcouldnotseeitbefore.
Insteadofmourningoveryourdeprivations,youwilllook
withwonderattheinnumerablegiftswhichhavebeengiven
toyou.Insteadoflookingatyourselfasunknownandun
noticed, you will come to wonder that so many people,
sometimesevenpeopleunknowntoyou,think aboutand
ministertoyou.
Insteadofmourning that not atreeis grantedtoyou on
which your weary eyes can rest, you will thank God that
evenstreetsdonotshutouttheskyandthatyoucanstill
gazeonthatandfeelthatitistheworkofGod.Insteadof
thinkingofallyourcrosses,littleandgreat,youwill turn
awayyoureyesfrombeholdingvanity" (Psalms139:37AV)
andfixyoureyesuponHisCross,whichwassosharpandso
painful,andwhichwasborneforyou.
205
WhathaveyoutolikentoHisCrossandPassion?Therevil
ingofenemies,thefailureoffriends,evenofthedearest,
the ignominy, the betrayal, the scourging and finally, the
Crucifixion.Whathaveyoutolikentothesethings?Heand
Healone,couldonlysay,"Wasevergrieflikemine?"
ThemorewegazeuponHissuffering,themoreourhearts
willanswer,Neverwasgrieflikeyours".Inthisway,we
shalllearn that ourtroubles are light afflictions". As our
senseofsindeepens,ourknowledgeof Hisamazing love
willdeepenalso,untilweseeonHisside,nothingbutLove,
and on our side, nothing but deep ingratitude. You will
wonder that Your eyes were kept from recognising him
(Psalms24:16)sothatyouneversawthisrealitybeforeand
havebeenlivingblindly,addingingratitudetoallyourother
sins.
Whenonceyoulearntto "givethanksinallcircumstances;
forthisisthewillofGodinChristJesusforyou"(1Thessalo
nians5:18)thenthe"voiceofthanksgivingwillbeheardin
yourdwelling"(Psalms118:15)andyourheartwillabound
withthanksgiving.Whenwefeelthatweowemuchtoafel
lowhumanbeing,howourheartsgoouttowardsthemin
gratitudeandlove.Whatapleasureitistothankthemand
torecognizetheirkindnesstous.Themoreundeservingwe
feelthemorethiswillbethecase.Howmuchmore,then,
shallwefeelthistowardsHim.Infact:"Everygoodgiftand
everyperfectgiftisfromabove,comingdownfromtheFather
oflightswithwhomthereisnovariationorshadowdueto
change"(James1:17).
Thanksgivingisablessedandholyexerciseanditelevates
the whole being. You desire toglorify God? The Psalmist
says,Theonewhooffersthanksgivingashissacrificeglorifies
me;toonewhoordershiswayrightlyIwillshowthesalva
tion ofGod! (Psalms50:23).If ourheartsweretunedto
praise,we shouldseeinnumerablemercieswhich wehad
neverseenbefore,forthankingGod.Ohgivethankstothe
206
Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Somewanderedindesertwastes,findingnowaytoacityto
dwellin;hungryandthirsty,theirsoulfaintedwithinthem.
ThentheycriedtotheLordintheirtrouble,andhedelivered
themfromtheirdistress(Psalms107:1,46).
Thanksgiving is spoken of as a sacrifice well pleasing to
God (Philippians4:18AV).Itisafarhigherofferingthan
prayer.Whenwepray,weaskforthingswhichwewantor
welayoutourownsorrows.Itis,inonesense,aselfishact.
Wepray,inordertobringdownblessingsuponourselves,
butwepraise,becauseourheartsoverflowwithlovetoGod
andwemusttellHimaboutthem.Theonlyrewardthatwe
expectisthedelightwhichthanksgivingbringstous.How
purifyingitmustbetogobeyondourselves,tostopthinking
ofwhatisgoodinourselvesandtostarttothinkhowgood
Heis.Thisflowsoutofpurelove,andthenthelovegoes
back into our own hearts and warms them, revives and
quickensthem.
Butrememberthatpraiseisa'sacrifice',onethatGodex
pects us to offer and justly claims from us. We cannot
choosebuttoofferitbecauseifwedonot,we"robGod".
"Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say,
'Howhavewerobbedyou?'Inyourtithesandcontributions".
(Malachi3:8).Godsays, Letthemsacrificethesacrificeof
thanksgiving,anddeclareHisworkswithrejoicing(Psalms
116:17AV).LetIsraelrejoiceinHimthatmadehim;letthe
childrenofZionbejoyfulintheirKing" (Psalms149:2AV).
"RejoiceintheLord"(Psalms33:1)."Rejoicinginhope"and
"patientintribulation" (Romans12:11AV)arecloselycon
nected.
Let us therefore say, I will offer to you the sacrifice of
thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord (Psalms
116:17).Iwillsacrificeuntoyouwiththevoiceofthanksgiv
ing;IwillpaythatIhavevowed".
207
Weoftenask,WhatshallIrendertotheLordforallhisbe
nefitstome?(Psalms116:12).Itisthissacrificeofthanks
giving that He would have us render. We must offer it
throughourHighPriest,becauseallourofferingsneedtobe
purgedandofferedup,purelyforus.Throughhimthenlet
uscontinuallyofferupasacrificeofpraisetoGod,thatis,the
fruitoflipsthatacknowledgehisname(Hebrews13:15).
3.8Torememberthoseinneedandtohelpothers72
Godwillsthatyourememberthepoor.Forthepooryoual
wayshavewithyou,butyoudonotalwayshaveme" (John
12:8). If you have a true and living sense of His love to
yourself, if you feel that He has done marvellous things"
(Psalms98:1)youwillfeelthatthelargefamilywhichour
Lordhaslefthereonearthwhichneedstobetended,fed,
andcaredfor,oughttoclaimaverylargeportionofyour
love and thoughts. You willseek by whatever means you
can,shutupasyouare,tohelp,cheerandblessthem.
Therearemanywaysofdoingso.Ifyouareamemberofa
familyandnotitshead,itisprobablethattheveryheavy
expensesofsicknesswillnotfalluponyou.Inthiscase,your
needswillbesomuchfewerthanwhenyouweregoingout
andaboutintheworld,sothatyouwillbeabletoredeema
largerportionofthisworld'sgoodsforthepoor.Youcan
eitherministertothemthroughothers,throughyourfamily
orthroughyourpastor.Or,ifyouarewellenough,youmay
have the delight of ministering to them with your own
PriscillaMauricehadbeenwellawareofallclassesatGuysHospital.
Londonandinherwill,sheestablishedaconvalescentcarehomeforim
pecuniouswomenatCatherineHouse,StLeonardsonSea.Accordingto
TheTimes(1902)shefoundedthishome,possiblydivertingmoneyfrom
thesaleofherbooks.From1855to1902,nursesandmedicalcarelooked
aftertwothousandneedyandsickwomeninthe22rooms.Priscilla
Maurice,herself,preparedfromhersickbedasummarisedversionofher
bookonsufferingintendedforthepoor,sothatpeoplewithoutmuch
moneycouldalsoreadwhatshewrote.
72
208
hands.Youmaybeabletosendforthem,oneatatimeand
givethemwhatyouthinktheymostneed,whileinquiring
intotheirshortagesandbecomingaffectionatelyinterested
inalltheirconcerns.This,ifyouareabletodoitfromtime
totimewillbeagreathelptoyourself,takingfromyouthe
lackofpurpose,thelonelinessofsicknessandyouwilllearn
bythisinteractionhowlightyourowntrialsanddepriva
tionsare.Itwillgiveyoumuchcauseforthanksgiving.You
have a comfortable room, kind attendance, food to eat,
heating and many other blessings. Others, perhaps, have
onlyonesmall,dark,unwholesomeroomforeverything,in
whichalargefamilymaybeshutup,infever,withnoother
placebutahospitaltogoto.Theyhavenofreshair,nofire
(oronlynowandthen)andnoattendant.Theyareoften
withoutnecessaryfood,clothingorbedding.
Letallyourknowledgeoftrialdrawoutyourdeepestsym
pathiestowardsthem.Letyourknowledgeofyourblessings
andyourwonderfulexemptionfromsuchtrials,stirupin
youthespiritofpraise.Perhapsyoumaybeabletomake
clothesforthemortoprovidefortheirbeingmade?Areyou
able send food parcels or other comforts? If you are the
headofafamily,youcaneasilyarrangetohavemanythings
sparedandsavedforthem,eventhoughyourfinancesmay
be very limited and your financial outgoings heavy. The
more we look for opportunities of helping the poor, the
morewillthepowerandthewillincrease.Wayswillopen
whichwereunseenbefore.
Ingivingtothepoorsomuchdependsonthemanner in
whichitisdone.Asympathizingmannershowsrealcarefor
themwithonlyafewkindwords.Thiswillstrikehometo
their hearts, however small the gift given, whereas some
greatgiftmaybegivenharshly,orwithalectureaboutlack
ofcarewithmoney.Adviceontheneedforeconomymaybe
givenwithit,whichmaytakefromthegiftallitsvalueand
makethemfeelonlyhowlittletherichknowofthereallife
209
wants of the poor, and how little they sympathize with

them.
You,especially,whohavehadthedisciplineofsicknessand
itsdeprivations, shouldshowtenderness andsympathy.If
youcannotvisitthepooryourself,orseethemwhenthey
cometoyourhouse,youwillinterestyourhelpersinthem
andmakethemyourgiversofgifts.Itwilldothemmuch
goodalsoandwillbealinkbetweenthemandthepoor,
andbetweenyouandthem.
AllyourattemptstohelpthepooryouwilloffertoGodas
your"sacrificeofthanksgiving"(Psalms116:17AV)andwill
doeverything asfortheLordandnotformen"(Colossians
3:23).Inthesameway,youwillendeavourtohelpevery
onewhocomestoyouinneed,"ForGodisnotunjustsoas
tooverlookyourworkandthelovethatyouhaveshownfor
hisnameinservingthesaints,asyoustilldo"(Hebrew6.10).
Youwillhelpthemifyoucanwiththeassistanceofmoney,
workoradvicewhichyouhaveinyourpowertogive.Nor
willyoudothisthelessifyourworkiswhollyhiddenandit
shouldappeartobetheirsalone.Youwillseehowgoodthis
is for you and you will gladly and thankfully see others
workingandcheerthemontheirway,eventhoughattimes
youmaysufferfromthepainofthecontrastbetweenyour
lifeandtheirs.
Youwillseekalsotointerestyourselfinallworksofmercy
fulfilledbythosesocietiesandcharitieswhicharereallytry
ingtodotheworkofGod,inanorderlyandhumbleman
ner. Everything, in which you can interest yourself, will
open to you a fresh and a wider field of enjoyment.
EverythingthatbelongstoGodandtofurtheringHiswork
on earth should have the deepest interest for you. You
shouldseektoletitbecome,increasingly,apartofyourself,
yourthoughts,yourprayersandofyourlabours.
210
PartIVTHEBLESSINGSOFILLNESS
Theblessingsofsicknessaresocloselyconnectedwithits
trials.Thedangeroftryingtolookatthemseparatelyfrom
eachotherissogreatthatthroughoutthisbook,blessings
andtrialshavebeeninterwoven.Thischapterisintended
merelytogatherupsomeofthepiecesthatremain,sothat
nothingmaybelost.
"Howprecioustomeareyourthoughts,OGod!How
vastisthesumofthem!IfIwouldcountthem,they
aremorethanthesand.Iawake,andIamstillwith
you.(Psalms139:17,18).
Was illness a strange answer to your prayers, or so you
thought, when it came? You had prayed for a chance to
serveHimandyetGodsentyousicknessandlaidyouaside.
Heseemedtoreadallyourprayersbackwardsandtoan
sweryouwiththeiropposites.
Donotdoubtbutsincerelybelievethatyoursicknessisthe
very best answer to your prayers. It meets them and in
cludesthemall.Init,andbyit,yourworkswillbepurified
and(what astrangetruth)youwill,ifyouhandle things
correctly, learn in sickness to desire life and love many
days" (Psalms 34:12). You will learn to "joy in the gifts
Heaven'sbountysends73"andtoseeeverythingshiningin
the brightness which the love of God sheds around upon
everything.YouwilllearntoloveGod'swillsomuchthat
youwilldesirenothingbutwhatHegives.
Rightnowtherearegreatblessingsinbeinglaidasideinill
ness.Haveyoueverconsideredhowmanyevil,foolishand
destructivethingsyouhavebeenprotectedfrom,byyourill
ness?Howmanyoverreachingambitionsandexcessesyou
not only might, but certainly would have succumbed to,
Unattributedintheoriginalbuttakenfromthepoem,AVoicefrom
AfarbyJohnHenryNewman.
73
211
which,bythemercyofGodinsendingyousickness,have
beenputoutofyourreach?Beforeyourillness,forexample,
howkeenwereyouondebateandcontroversywhichwas
leadingyouastray?Hasn'tsicknesstaughtyoutofeelthe
lovelessnessandrestlessnessofdebateandhowmuchiten
grossesthethoughtsanddrawsyouawayfromvitaldivine
truth?
Sick people want real living truths. They want food, not
husksandthesimplerthetruth,thebetter.Youknowthat
GodisLoveandyouwanttobelikeHim.Youdonotwant
tobetemptedto biteanddevouroneanother" (Galatians
5:15).
Before,youwerefeeding onhusks.TheVoicecouldhave
said,"Lethimalone"(Luke13:8)butinsteaditsaid,"Return
toMe".Therefore,behold,Iwillallureher,andbringherinto
thewilderness,andspeaktenderlytoher(Hosea2:3).
Think back and consider whether you had begun to care
morefortheoutwardvisiblesignsofspiritualthings,than
fortheinner things.But now you havebeen removedby
sickness,fromyouridolatryofoutwardforms,sothatyou
canseethem at a distance. Now you see how much had
beenaddedtotheessentialsofspiritualitybymeremenand
women,andbyyourownearthlinessofheart.Nowyousee
howlittleormuchinthoseidolatrousformswasliving,true
andholy.Youhavebeentakenfromhearingofpenitence,in
order to learn to be penitent. You have been taken from
hearing that "Christians should love each other" to dwell
more alone with Him who is Love, so that you may be
changedintoHisimage.
Youhavebeenlaidasideinillnesssothatyoumaylearn
whatHistruthiswithlessconfusionthanyoucouldlearnit,
whileyouwereinBabel74.Youhavebeenbroughtintothe
TheBiblicalBabel(Genesis11:19)wasthecityandtowerinthelandof
Shinear where confusion of languages took place. A place orscene of
noiseandconfusion;aconfusedmixtureofsounds,voicesorlanguages.
74
212
presenceofthetruthwhereallmasksandsuperficialitiesare
gradually removed and the soul becomes more and more
alonewithGod.
Perhaps, looking back, you once thought that you would
makesomegreatsacrifice,rendersomegreatservicetoGod
orseparateyourselffromtheworld?Youdespiseddomestic
dutiesandthoughtthempoorandworldly,notcontaining
enoughinthemofspiritualsacrifice.Butdidn'tyouoverlook
thehourlyandcontinualcallsinthemforrealselfsacrifice,
forrenunciationofthewill,forsubduingyourtemper,for
forbearing one another in love and for mortifying your
prideandvanity,inselfdenial.
Allthosethingsweresocloseathandthatyoucouldnotsee
them because you were looking for a wider scope,
something further afield. God heard your prayers and He
answeredthem,notasyouwouldhavehadthemanswered,
butasHesaw,inthebestway.
Godsaid, "Doyou seekgreatthingsforthyself?Seekthem
not"(Jeremiah45:5).Hehasalsosaid,"Youwishtomake
somegreatsacrificeandyoushallhavethedesireofyour
heart.Youshallsacrificeyourwillandlaythatupontheal
tar".Youcouldnotbecalledupontomakeagreatersacri
fice,somakeitwillinglyandcheerfully.
Canyousee,now,allthedistractionsintowhichyouwould
haveenticedifyouhadbegivenhealth?Canyouimagine
alltheworldlytrapsintowhichyouwouldhavefallenand
allthedangerswhichyou haveescaped?Insteadofcom
plaining at sickness, loneliness and weariness, you should
thankGodfornomercymoreferventlythanforsickness.
Nowthatwehaveconsideredsicknesswithitsmanysor
rowsandtrialsandhiddensufferings,aswellasitsmany
blessingsandmerciesandcomforts,don'tyouseethatthere
isawidefieldstillopenbeforeyou?Doyounotseethatthe
map of your life is not as diminished as you previously
213
thought?Doyouseethatthereismuchworkstill,foryouto
do?
Thisworkisrealwork,someofwhichyoucouldnothave
donewithoutsicknessandnoneofwhichyoucouldhave
donesowell,withoutitsdiscipline.Youmay,indeed,seem
toyourself,andtoothers,tobedoingmuchlessthanyou
usedtodo,andtobedoinglessthantheyexpected,andstill
expectofyou.Butbeassuredthatifyourightlyreceiveyour
sickness,whateverworkyoudoisdonewithsomuchmore
simplicity and sincerity and with so much purer motives
thaneverbefore,thatwhatyoudo,havingmoreofGodinit
andlessofyouinit,isfarmorepreciousinHissightand
morevaluabletothosetowhomitisdirected.
Youremember,nodoubt,howmuchyoudidintimepast,
eithertobeseenbymen,topleaseotherpeopleortosatisfy
yourrestless,busynature,whichmustalwaysbeworking.
Didyougetpleasureindoingsomegreatthingwhichwould
getyougloryandrecognitionintheeyesofothers?Now,
howdifferentlyeverythingappears.Youcannot,evenifyou
wantedto,achievethisnow.
Nowcanyouseeasneverbefore,notonlytheintensepleas
ureofbeingpermittedtoworkforGod,intheleastvain
gloriousthings,whichbeforeyouwouldhaveoverlookedas
too insignificant. Now you can see that there is nothing
worthlivingfor,excepttoglorifyGod.
If so, you have learned this through suffering. You have
beenbroughttofeelthankfultosuffering,ifitwillonlypuri
fyyourmotivesandpreventyoufromdoingtheworkofthe
Lordwithslackness" (Jeremiah48:10).Ifsicknesswillonly
makeyoutolookuptoHimforyourworkdaybyday,and
notchooseitforyourself,norcomplainbecauseyouhave
none,norseektodoyourownworks.
Ifyouareabletodothis,thenyouwillbeabletolookupto
HimintheeveningandthankHimforwhatHehasenabled
youtodo,bothfortheworkwhichHehasgivenandthe
214
strengthwhichHehasgivenyouwithwhichtoperformit.
Youwillfinditinyourdailylife,inyourdomesticchores
andduties,thosesmallandunimportantthingswhichyou
usedtooverlookandthinkseparatefromtherealserviceof
God.Youwillfinditinconversationwithyourfriends,in
the claims and call of those in need, in all that interests
thosewithwhomyouareconnected,andinallthingswhich
concerntheChurchofGod.
Youfindyourwork,too,instrugglingagainstallthatisevil
inyourselfandinovercomingit,foryourownsakeandfor
the sake of fellow believers. Each victory that you obtain
overthetempter,inHisnameandinthestrengthofthe
Lord,weakenstheenemy'spoweroveryou,andoverthem,
and gives the adversary a surer guarantee of being soon
crushedunderyourfeet"(Romans16:20)andundertheir
feettoo.
In every victory over the Enemy (the devil) or over your
ownselfishnessandselfwill,youfindyourappointedwork
andyoufulfilit.Therefore,neverentertaintheweary,de
structivethoughtthatyouhavenowork,nothingtodofor
Godandareanisolatedbeing.Waitalittle,and"thereisa
rewardforyourwork"(Jeremiah31:16).Nothingiscovered
upthatwillnotberevealed,orhiddenthatwillnotbeknown"
(Luke12:2).You,andallmankind,willseethatyoursick
bedwasnohindrancetoservingGodandthatyouhadwork
todowhichyoucouldnothavedoneelsewhere.Itwasa
workthatwasnotparttimebutfilledupeveryhourofyour
day,whetheryouwereseeminglybusy,orlyingalmostin
lethargy in a dark room, taking no notice of anything
around you. Even thereand then, you were working and
God was by your side, appointing your work of suffering
andmeasuringitsmeasureanditsnature.Hewasblessingit
andyou,andwithoutthatdivineblessingofthesuffering,
theworkwhichHehasgiventotheChurchwouldbeimper
fect.
215
Inthemostextremeexhaustion,intheutmoststateofwear
inessorinthesharpnessofpain,saytoyourself,Thisisthe
willofGod.ItisHiswillthatIshouldworkforHiminthis
way.Myportionisnowthis.InmyfleshIamfillingupwhat
islackinginChrist'safflictionsforthesakeofhisbody,thatis,
theChurch"(Colossians1:24).
Whatagloriousworkitis!Whatanhonourtobecalledto
it.HowofteninHissufferingshereuponearth,Jesuswas
aloneandnoonesawwhatHeendured,exceptHisFather
andourFather.Yeteventhen,HewasfulfillingHismin
istry.
Itissimilarinyourcase,sodonotgiveup.Yourspiritmay
be growing very weary but simply strengthen your heart
withthethoughtthatyouaresufferingwithandforJesus
Christ,andforHisBody'ssake,whichistheChurch.
Whenyouare"wearyorfainthearted"(Hebrews12:3)think
ofwhatJesusenduredandofthehighcallingwhichitisto
sufferwithHim,to"sharehissufferings,becominglikehimin
hisdeath"(Philippians3:10).Hewhohascalledyoutothis
workandministryisalwaysalongsideyou.Hesaid: "Iam
withyoualways,totheendoftheage"(Matthew28:20)sus
taining,strengtheningandcheeringyou.
Youhaveonemoreblessing,whichisthattheLord'sPrayer
is no longer a set formula for you or even merely words
whichyouhavepleasureinrepeating.Youwantitnow.Itis
necessarytoyourverysurvival.Everywordofithasbecome
chargedwithmeaning,suchasitneverhadbefore.Every
sentencehasalifegivingsound.Veryoftenwhenyouare
unabletoutteranywordsofyourownorthinkanythought
ofyourown,youcanpraytheLord'sPrayerinyourheart
andgivethanksforit.Youcangivethanksinyourextreme
weaknessanddependence,inyourneedofsomepersonto
relyon,ofSomeonetoturntoinallyourtrials,sorrows,
pains andperplexities.Youcanrecallthatthere wasOne
whoknewthemalland"needednoonetobearwitnessabout
216
man,forhehimselfknewwhatwasinman"(John2:25).He
taughtyoutosay,"OurFather"(Matthew6:9)withalove
andtendernessandconfidencewhichyouneverknewbe
fore.
Yourejoicetosay"Our"becauseittellsyouthatyouarea
member of a family not a solitary being. When you say,
WhichartinHeaven"thenyouareremindedofthat"there
remainsaSabbathrestforthepeopleofGod"(Hebrews4:9),
an"inheritancethatisimperishable,undefiled,andunfading,
keptinheavenforyou,whobyGod'spowerarebeingguarded
throughfaithforasalvationreadytoberevealedinthelast
time"(1Peter1:4,5).
Alltheeagerandrestlessdesiresofyourheartfortheglory
ofGodandtheadvancementofHiskingdomnowseemto
findtheircoreandhomeinthewords:HallowedbeThy
name, Thy kingdom come". All your personal desires and
wishes for yourself, your friends and all mankind are ex
pressedinThywillbedoneinearth,asitisinheaven".Your
dailyneedtobeledandguidedinworkandstrength,in
yourtrialsandyoursupportsandinallyourearthlyneeds
aresummedupinthepetition,"Giveusthisdayourdaily
bread".Yourgrowingsenseofsin,yourknowledgeofyour
ongoingsins,negligence,andignorance",yourdeepsenseof
lovelessnessandyoursufferingsfromit,makeyourwhole
heartsay,Forgiveusourtrespasses,asweforgivethemthat
trespassagainstus".Theevergrowingsenseoftemptation,
ofbeingsorehinderedofthetemptationsoftheworld,the
flesh,andthedevil",allthesemakeyourheartcryout,"Lead
usnotintotemptation,butdeliverusfromevil".Thereisas
suranceinaskingallthesethings,for"Yoursisthekingdom,
thepower,andtheglory,foreverandever".Thereforeyoucan
say,Amen,sobeit.
AllthingsareinGod'scontrol.AllthatyouhaveaskedHe
cangrant.Youseemtobegineachpetitionwith,"OurFath
er"becausethosetwowordsexplainandrunthroughthe
217
prayer. They give you the childlike confidence in asking

which you sogreatly need. "Our Father". Let those words
blendthemselveswitheverythoughtofyourheartandwith
every action of your life. Surely Our Father" would deal
withusaswithsonsandwouldsendusnoneedlesssuffer
ing,nounnecessarycorrection.Asafathershowscompas
siontohischildren,sotheLordshowscompassiontothose
whofearhim"(Psalms103:13).Hewillnotgiveusintooth
ers'lessablehandsforourspiritualdevelopment.HeHim
selfwilldevelopus.Iwilldisciplineyouinjustmeasure,and
Iwillbynomeansleaveyouunpunished"(Jeremiah46:28).
"Blessedareyethatweepnow,whetherinpersecution,be
reavement,sickness,orfear.EverytrialintheChristianlife
isanadvanceinyourwalkoffaith.Everychastisementis
senttoturnanewpageintheBookofLife,toshowyou
thingswithinyou whichyou didnot seeorknow before,
andthingswhichafterwardsshallbe yourcalling.God is
cleansingthepowerofyoursightsothatitmaybecomein
tenseandstrongenoughtobearHispresence.Thatpower
of sight is Love, fervent and purifying Love, consuming
everysinandpurgingeverystain.
The more fervently you cling to Him by love, the clearer
yourvisionofHisbeautywillgrow.Sowelcomeeverything
He sends, since by doing this, we may see Him on His
Throne, where there is no more sin, where truth has no
shadowandwhereunityandsanctityhavenoconflicts.
Welcomesorrow,trial,fearandtheshadowofdeath,ifonly
oursinbeblottedoutandourlotsecureinthelowestroom
ofHeaven,secureinthelightofHisface,beforetheThrone
ofHisBeauty,inoureternalhomeandinourrest,forever.
218
PartVMISCELLANEOUS
5.1ReadingtheScriptures
ThereisacasualkindofreadingoftheHolyScripturesin
whichthesickoftenindulge.Theyareonlyabletoreada
little and therefore choose theportions they like the best
andthinkwillbethemostcomforting.Inthisway,theylose
muchofthemessageoftheBiblebytakingitindetached
passages,insteadofincontext.Bytakingversesoutofcon
text,theyoftengetafalseideaofthemeaningandmany
portionswhichwouldbeveryinstructivetothemtheynever
read,choosinginsteadwhattheirspiritualfoodshouldbe,
insteadofhavingitgiventothem.
TousesomesystematicplaninBiblereadingisaverygreat
help insicknessandespeciallyforthose whoare isolated
fromchurch75.Itispleasanttolooktosomethingtoguideus
and teach us and to tell us what to do. It prevents that
vaguefeelingofwantingtoknowwhatisbesttodo,and
how to read the Scriptures profitably. "All Scripture is
breathedoutbyGodandprofitableforteaching,forreproof,
forcorrection,andfortraininginrighteousness,thattheman
ofGodmaybecompetent,equippedforeverygoodwork" (2
Timothy3:1617).
Therefore,weshouldreadtheentireBibleinsickness.Oth
erwisewewillmisssomethingthatis"profitablefordoctrine,
forreproof,forcorrection,forinstruction."Readingdetached
chaptersandversesdoesnotmeetourneeds.
But can there be a better plan than one given by the
Church?IfwereadthedailyLessonsandPsalms,asfaras
ourstrengthpermits,weshallreadtheOldTestamentonce
a year, the New Testament three times and the Psalms
Forexample,aplanofdailyreadingofferedbyScriptureUnionat:
http://www.scriptureunion.org.uk/8.id
75
219
twelvetimesthrough.Wewillsoonfindhowwonderfully
eachLessonandeachPsalmseemstobringsomethingpecu
liarlyfittedtoourneeds,attherighttimeeveryday.Aswe
readthemafresh,weshalldiscoverthismoreandmoreand
beabletorecognisethemastheportiongiventousforour
profit,notasaselfchosenselection.
Wewillhavethehappinessofnotreadingalone,butwith
"manymembersoftheonebody" (1Corinthians12:12AV).
ThiskindofreadingoftheBiblewillnotdegenerateintoa
merereligiouspractice.Infact,itwillbecomelesssoasyou
pursueit.Sickpeopledonotneedtofearfallingintomere
religiouspractices.They,perhapsmostofallpeople,need
themthemostbecausetheyaredeprivedofsomuchthat
comes in the natural order of things to people in health.
Theyareingreatdangerofgrowingtoocasual.
Oftenahuskmaybethrownawayasuseless,notknowing
thatitcontainsapreciouskernel.Thehuskmaylooklike
otherhusks,unsightlyandirrelevant,butyoucannotgetat,
orpreservethekernelwithoutit.Atanyrate,donotthrow
awayanypractice,untilyouhaveexaminedit.Insickness,
theonlywayofthoroughlytestingitisbylonganddaily
practice.
5.2Sunday,theLord'sDay
Another subject of great trial to sick people are Sundays.
Somefeelthismuchmoreacutelythanothers.Thelackof
beingabletoattendpublicChurchworshipis,andoughtto
be,agreattrial.
Itisthegreatlossofmeetingtogether,ofhavingaplace
"Where we supposed there was a place of prayer (Acts
16:13),ofhavingaplace wheremanyareprayingtogether,
helpingeachother.ItisthelossofaplacewhereGodises
peciallyfelttobepresentandwhereafixedtimeisappoin
tedforprayer,thequietnessofwhichcannotbebrokenby
220
outwarddistractionsandinterruptions.Itisthelossofthe
wonderfulupliftinthesympathyofmanypeopleworship
pingtogethersinceoursluggishsoulsneedeveryhelp.Itis
alsothelossofthevoiceofprayerwhichisagreatassist
anceandkeepsupourspiritualzeal.Whenpraiseisoffered,
theheartisliftedup likethatofothersandthe "voice of
melody"(Isaiah51:3AV)ascends.
Inpublicworship,too,isthefulfilmentofthegreatpromise
thatmaybeclaimed:Wheretwoorthreearegatheredinmy
name,thereamIamongthem (Matthew18:20). Thereis
therealisationthattheChurchismadeofmanymembersof
onebody,sothatwecansay,IbelieveintheHolyCatholic
Church,thecommunionofsaints".
Alltheseblessingsofpublicworshiparewithheldfromthe
sick76.ThecheerfulsoundoftheChurchbellsonlyreminds
themthattheycannotgouptothehouseoftheLordand
thebellssoundwithpainfulsadness intheirears,ifthey
havenotlearntthelessonto "rejoicewiththemthatdore
joice"(Romans12:15AV).
Theextenttowhichabsencefrompublicworshipnegatively
affectsprivatedevotionscanonlybeknownbythosewho
havebeenformonthsoryears,keptawayfromit.Thehabit,
thefixedness,theplace,arealllacking.Itisaverydifficult
thing, day after day, to continue private devotions in the
sameunchangingplace,withnothingoutwardtocallyou
awayfromtheworldtocallyou toworship.Inthatvery
room,thesamebedperhaps,youmustcarryon,everything.
Thereyousufferyourpainsandsicknesses.Thereyousee
your friends. There you take your meals and transact all
yourworldlybusiness.Thereyousleepandthereeverything
whichfillsupyourlifeiscarriedon.
Todaypeoplelaidasidebysicknesscanavailthemselvesofservices
broadcastthrough(Christian)radioandTVstationsorthroughtheinter
net.
76
221
Theoutwardhelpofbeingcalledtoworship,ofgoingtothe
houseofGod,ofthecompanionshipofworship,younever
havenow. You seeothersgoingandyou sometimeswish
thattheywouldsoconnectyouwiththeirblessingsanden
joymentsastosayoccasionallythattheywishyoucouldgo
withthem.Youwouldnotwishthemtosaythisallthetime
sincethenitwouldbecomeaformality.Probably,itistheir
kindness that stops them, though they may be mistaken
aboutwhatisbestforyou.
They think, often, that after so many months or years of
confinementtothehouseyoumustbequiteusedtoitand
havelongagoceasedtowanttogotoChurch,feelingthatit
mustnotandcannotbe.Sotheyfeartostirupyourlong
ingsagain.Ortheylookonyourbeingleftathomeasso
completelyamatterofcoursethattheyeitherforgetyou,or
doubtthatitcanbeanytrialtoyou.Orelsetheysuppose
thatyououghtbynowtobeusedtonotgoingandthatif
youarenotyetreconciledtoit,youareinsomeway'inthe
wrong'. Or they may think it a mere form to say words
whichimplyimpossibility.Ortheycannotfullyunderstand
themeasureanddepthofthetrial,becausewhen,during
anyshortillnesstheyhavebeenkeptathome,itmaybethat
theydidnotfeeltheeffectthatnotgoingtoworshippro
ducesonprivatedevotion,insoshortatime.
Thisalsoaccountsforthefact,thatwhensickpeoplebegin
torecover,afteralongillnessandareabletogotoChurch
again, if they are prevented from going for one or more
Sundays, they can display great disappointment. Their
friendssay,Iwonderthatyoushouldsomuchmindbeing
keptathomeforoneortwoSundays,whenyouremember
forhowlongyouwerepreventedfromgoing?Surelyone
Sundaycannotnowbemuchofaprivationtoyou?"
Itisjustbecauseyouhavebeenshutupsolong,thatyoufeel
the so acutely every obstacle now. You have learned the
valueofpublicworship.Ontopofthis,youfeelhowinsec
222
ureyourholdonthisblessingisandthatyoudonotwantto
loseoneopportunity,whilstyouhaveit.
WhenyourfriendsreturnfromChurch,youlongtobecon
nectedwithwhat they havebeen enjoying. How thankful
youwouldfeeltobevoluntarilytoldaboutthesermonor
even the text for the sermon. Sometimes you think that
peopleoughtatleasttolookhappierandmorecheerfulon
Sundaythanonotherdays.Youfeelthattheirblessingsare
sogreatthatitoughttobethebrightestofdaysforthem.It
seemstobeitsverybrightnessthatcastssodarkashadow
onyou.
Yetitseemstoyouthattheyoftenlookwearierandseem
moreuncomfortableonthatday,thanonanyother.Youdo
not take into account that they have weary bodies which
havebeenwornbytheworkoftheweekandthatthevery
restfromthatseemstobringwearinessorlistlessness.Nor
do you take into account what a busy and occupied day
Sundaygenerallyisandhowverylittletimetheyhaveto
spareforyouandthatlittlelefttothemisgivenwhenthey
aretiredbythelaboursandpleasuresoftheday.Youforget
that the spirit having been so much stretched during the
week,iswearytoo.
Thereare,doubtless,somecasesinwhichitwouldproduce
discontent,ifitweresaidtoasickperson:Iwishyoucould
gowithus".Afewpeoplemightburstintotears,eitherthose
whohavebeenillforashorttimeandwhohavenotasyet
seenthattheyarewronginindulgingtemptationstoenvy
thosewhocangotoChurch.Therearealsothosewhoen
courage discontent inthis and other ways, refusing tobe
comforted.
Inthemajorityofcases,itwouldbefoundthatthekindness
ofthewordsandthepleasantthoughtsthatotherswould
likeyoutoshareintheirpleasureswouldproveagreatcom
fort.Theywouldrefreshandcheerwearyspiritslongafter
thewordshadbeenforgottenbythepersonwhosaidthem.
223
TheirwordsseemshalftotakeyoutoChurchinspiritor,at
anyrate,giveyouarealisationoftheCommunionofSaints,
insomeminds,ofcourse,moredeeplythaninothers.
Iwishyoucouldgowithus".Internallyyoucansay,"In
spiritIcan".Theheartanswersandalreadythefeelingof
isolationisgone.Initsplaceis,IbelieveintheHolyCath
olicChurch,thecommunionofsaints77".
Ontheotherhand,howoftenthesickpersonfeels,asthe
lastpersongoestoChurchandshutsthedoorofthehouse,
IftheycaredthatIshouldbewiththem,surelytheywould
sometimessayso?HowthencanIhopethattheywillre
membermethere?Iamcutofffromfellowship".
Thesefeelingsarewrongandmorbid.Theyoughtnottobe
harbouredatallbutshouldbeearnestlyresistedTherecan
benodoubtthattheyofferthemselvesastemptations.The
onlywaytomeetthemistosay,Iamhere,bythewillof
God"andtofixitinyourheartthatyoucanexpectnobless
inganywhere,butintheplacethatHeappointsforyou.
YouaretheprisonerfortheLord(Ephesians4:1)78andso,
whenyouprayforallprisonersandcaptivesyouwillfeel
thatyoucanprayforthemsinceyouhavemanyneedsand
trials in common with them. As such, you are to walk
worthyofthevocationwherewithyearecalled,withalllowli
nessandmeekness,withlongsuffering,forbearingoneanoth
erinlove,endeavouringtokeeptheunityoftheSpirit,inthe
bondofpeace(Ephesians4:1).
Thereisonebody,andoneSpirit,justasyouarecalledin
onehopeofyourcalling,oneLord,onefaith,onebaptism,one
GodandFatherofall,whoisaboveall,andthroughall,and
in you all (Ephesians 4:16). While these verses tell you
77
fromTheCreed
PriscillaMauricewrotetheprisoneroftheLordasshewasfollowing
KingJamesBible.Morerecenttranslationsgivetheprisonerforthe
Lord,whichmeanssomethingdifferent.
78
224
yourduties,theyalsoatthesametime,tellyouhowgreat
yourblessingsareintheunityoftheChurch.Theyalsotell
youthatsicknessisnotastateofisolation.Forthereisone
body"andthewholeChurchisonefamily,ofwhichsome
aresickandsomeinhealth,eachneedingtheotherandun
abletogoonwithoutthevariedandreciprocaloffices.
Peopleoftensaythat"youcanjustaswellsayyourprayers
athome".Butitseemstoyouthatthisisjustnottrue.Nev
ertheless,beassuredthatwhenGodcallsyoutodoso,He
willmakeallgraceaboundtowardsyouandwillnotsuffer
yoursoultohunger(Deuteronomy8:3).Jesus,whofedthe
fivethousandwithsofewloavesandfisheswillfeedyou.
"Breadshallbegivenyou,andyourwatershallbesure"(Isai
ah33:16AV).Godwillfeedyouthoughoftenyoumaysee
nobread.However,thisdoesnothinderyoufromreceiving
it.Sometimes,itmayseemtoyoubitterbread,orverydry
anditmayseemrarely"pleasantbread"(Daniel10:3AV).
Fearnot,though.Thebreadseemslikethisandthoughthe
scentofwater (Job14:9AV)maybedistant,yetHe can
feedyouandgivedrink.Hewhogaveyoulifewillsustainit.
He can exactly adapt the daily portion of bread to your
need.Hewillmakeitsufficienttosustainyouandtoenable
youtogoonyourway.Onlydonotseektochooseyour
foodbutletHimgiveyouthe thefoodthatisneedfulfor
me"(Proverbs30:8).
YouwanttospendyourSundaysdifferentlyfromallother
daysbutthedifficultyisinhowtodoit.Youhave,perhaps,
agreatdealmorequiettimeandleisureforreadingthen,
thanonotherdays.Butyoucannotreadallthetimeand
youdonothaveenoughvariationinyourdailylife,forex
ample in seeing friends, since you may scarcely even see
yourownfamily.
Haveyoueverconsideredthen,asmuchaspossible,making
yourSundayasitwouldbeifyoucouldgotoChurch,and
like your own past Sundays? You used to go to Church.
225
There wasan appointed service, a guide anddirection to

yourdevotionsandthoughts.Aservicethateveryonejoined
in,notonlyintheparticularchurchtowhichyouwentbut
throughouttheworld.Wasitnotintendedforallthemem
bersoftheChurch?Thenitbelongstoyouforyouareasick
memberofit.
If,whenyouknowthattheServiceisbeginningtoberead
atChurch,youbegintoreadittoo,thenyoucanjoinwith
all those who are worshipping everywhere and you will
ceasetofeelcutoffandisolated.Whenyoubegintodothis,
atfirstitcanfeelratherformal.Itwillpossiblyseemrather
flat,withoutanyonetorespondto,withouthymnsormusic
andyouwilltakelittle,ifany,pleasureinit.
Donot bedisappointedanddonotstopdoingitbecause
everytimeyoutry(afterawhile)youwillfindmorepleas
ure,profitandblessinginitandfeelmoreasifyouwere
joining"thegreatcongregation"(Psalms22:25AV).Perhaps,
too, you will find that reading a liturgy79 and Scriptural
readingsslowly brings out new beauties which you never
saw before. Your circumstances, too, may bring home to
yourheartsomeprayersandpetitionswhichuntilnowyou
hadonly"heardwiththehearingoftheear(Job42:5AV).
During the liturgy, you can add the names of your own
friends, separately naming them in your heart along with
"thewidows,"the"fatherlesschildren,"the"sick,""allprison
ersandcaptives".Thiswillenhanceitandenableyoutobe
"helpersoftheirjoy (2Corinthians1:24AV)andconnect
you with others who are sitting solitary (Lamentations
1:1).
Donotsaytoyourselfthatitwouldbetooformaltoread
theServicesinprivatewhentheyaremeantforpublicwor
ship.Donotthinkthattouse"forms"inprivate,andespe
ciallyinasickroom,isabondagetoformality.Ifyouarecut
ForexampleTheAnglicanBookofCommonPrayer.Wewouldsuggest
thatyoubuyasmallcopy.
79
226
offfromtheChurchbysicknessthenyouhavenopartinher
Services.Itcannotbemoreformaltooffertheseprayersin
privatethaninpublic,astheyareforthewholeChurch,and
thereforeforyou.
You may often complain that it is difficult to focus your
thoughtsandtoofferupyourownwordsinprayer.Butin
theformalServicearewordsdesignedforyou.Theyaretrue
andholywordswhichinallageshavebeenuttered,exactly
suited to your desires, now and at all times. Sick people
needguidancefortheirthoughtsandwordsmorethanoth
ersdo.TheywhohavetriedtheplanofreadingtheService
duringthehoursofpublicworship,oftenspeakaboutthe
exceedingblessingithasbeentothem.
IfyouareunabletoreadthewholeService,youcanread
somepartofit.PerhapsyoucanreadjusttheConfession
andasmuchelseasyouhavestrengthfor.Ifyouareableto
readquitealotatonce,then,whenyouhavereadtheSer
vice,youcanreadasermon.Thenliestillforatimedoing
nothing.Thenmakesurethatyoutaketherefreshmentof
seeingsomeoneinyourfamily,orafriendwhomaycometo
visityou.
OnSundayafternoonorevening,youmaybeabletoread
theServiceagainandifyoudo,youwillnotfindSundaya
tediousoralonelyday,butyouwillespeciallyenjoytherest
and refreshment which this day offers and the relaxation
fromtheworkofotherdays.
Tomanysickpeople,thecalmandrestofthisholydayis
peculiarlydelightful.Whentheywakeinthemorning,they
begintofeelthedifferenceinitandtogivethanksthaton
thisday,theworldmaybeshutoutandotherthoughtsmay
filluptheirhearts.Theywillbewithoutinterruptionfrom
outwardthings,orfromdailydomesticduties.Theyfeelre
freshedinspirit,andthebetterenabledtogoontheirway
duringtheweektocome,becauseofthisdayofrefreshing
fromthepresenceoftheLord(Acts3:19AV).
227
ThemoreyoucultivatealoveforSunday,themoreitwill
becomeajoyousday,adayofresourcestobedrawnupon
alltheweekandrejoicedinwhenitreturns.Inthisway,it
willbecomethepledgeandforetasteofthe restwhichre
mains"(Hebrews4:9),therestwhichyoulongfor.Ifatany
time,youcangetanyonetoreadtheServicewithyou,itisa
greathelpandpleasure.Butyoudonotneedthisifyoual
waysconsideryourself"inthecongregation"andthatyou
aretrulyoneoftheworshippers.
Alwaysremember,too,thatyouarenotalone,Allthecom
pany of Heaven laud and magnify His glorious name 80".
Therefore,sincewearesurroundedbysogreatacloudofwit
nesses,letusalsolayasideeveryweight,andsinwhichclings
soclosely,andletusrunwithendurancetheracethatisset
beforeus,lookingtoJesus,thefounderandperfecterofour
faith, whofor the joy that was set before him endured the
cross,despisingtheshame,andisseatedattherighthandof
thethroneofGod(Hebrews12:12).
5.3TheLordsSupper
Whenanillnessfirstdevelops,thosewhohavetrulycared
fortheblessingofjoiningintheCommunion,orLordsSup
per,atChurch,keenlyfeeltheirabsencefromit.Especially
whenthedaysreturnforitsaccustomedcelebration,they
seemmorethaneverisolatedandalone.Thisfeelingmay
be, in part removed and much blessing rediscovered, by
readingtheCommunionServiceatthetimewhenothersare
engagedinthatserviceattheChurchwhereyouhavebeen
accustomedtoworship.Or,ifyoudonothavestrengthfor
thewholeofit,atleastreadsomeportionofit.
Youhavebeenaccustomedtothinkofthisasmerelyapub
lic service. But surely this cannot be the only view of it,
since the Church has appointed a separate service (or at
80
FromtheBookofCommonPrayer
228
least an introductory service) for the Communion of the

Sick,showingthatitisforthemtoo.
ArubrictellsyouthatyoumayeatofTheLord'sSupperby
faithwhenyouaretrulystoppedfromdoingitinreality.But
sickpeopleshouldnotbecontentwithmerelyreceivingthe
elements. Those circumstances are rare and peculiar, in
whichitisnottheirboundendutyaswellastheirhighest
privilegeandblessing,toeattheBodyandtodrinkofthe
BloodofourLord.Casesmayoccurwherepeoplearenot
visitedbypastorsorclergyman.Nevertheless,theyareau
thorisedbytheChurchtosendforhimandtoaskhimfor
thisservice.Ifcircumstancesmakeitimpossibletogetthis
blessingfromtheministeroftheparish,atanyrate,permis
sion may be obtained to ask some friend, or someone
throughafriend,toministertheCommunionService,ifnot
theelementstoyou.
Thereareverymanyobstaclesandmanygreatdifficulties
whichalmosteverysickpersonfindsindealingwithCom
munion. Generally speaking, most of them are either
groundless,ormaybeovercomebyprayerforguidanceand
strength.Onehindranceisthepeculiarshynesswhichsick
people feel in mentioning their needs. This is probably is
commontoalmosteveryoneillanddoesnotentirelydepend
onnaturalshyness.Itarisesfrommanycauses.
Themostfrequentare:thedislikeofgivingtrouble;thefear
ofseemingtomaketoomuchofyourselforyourstate;a
dislikeofspeakingof'self'andofyourownwishesanda
fearincaseothersshouldthinkthatyouare,orfancyyour
selftobe,moreholythanyoufeelthatyouare.Itmayalso
arisefromafeelingofawkwardness,fromthethoughtthat
youcannotenjoy,oreventakepleasurein,theServiceun
lessitisinChurch,afearofinterruptionsandofnotchoos
ingasuitabletime.Thereistheideathatyouwillwaituntil
you are stronger oruntil perhapsyou soon go toChurch
again.Lastly,thereisthefearthatbyproposingsuchaSer
229
vice,yourfriendsshouldbealarmedandsupposethatyou
thinkyourselftobedying.
Oneormoreofthesethoughtsmayhavehauntedtheminds
of most sick persons. A close examination of these diffi
cultieswouldprovethatsomeofthemarequitegroundless.
Itislikesayingthataclergymanisnot willingtodothe
workwhichhisMasterhasgivenhimtodo,ifwefearthat
hewillcountsuchserviceaburden.
If these fears were coming out of your own desires, you
mightfearthemakingtoomuchofyourself,oryourstate.
Butrememberwhohascommandedyou:Dothisinremem
branceofMe" (1Corinthians11:24AV).Jesussaidthisin
theupperchamber,onthatlastnightwhenHissufferings
hadalreadybegun.DoyouthinkthatHewillcountyour
obedience to His command selfindulgence? Remember
what He wills and do not think just of how your fellow
creaturesmayjudgeyou.Butsurelyitisgenerallyunreason
abletoimaginesuchathingofthem?Thedislikeofspeak
ingofyourselfandaboutyourownwishes,maygotoofar
and become a morbid feeling which it certainly is, if it
hindersusfromdoingthewillofGod.
Donotfearincaseothersthinkyoumoreholythanyouare,
buttrytobeholyasHewhoisholywouldhaveyoube.
Never mind the thoughts of your fellow creatures. I the
Lordsearchtheheart,Itrythereinsofthechildrenofmen
(Jeremiah17:10).Mighttherenotalsobeinyourfeelingsa
mixtureoffear,incaseyoushouldbeexpectedtolivemore
consistentlyandinamoreholy wayifyouProclaimHis
death"(1Corinthians11:26)inthisway?
IsthisperhapsadeviceoftheAdversary,whowouldhinder
yourgrowth?Thefeelingofawkwardnessisverypainful,
butitsoonwearsoff.ThemorefrequentthatCommunionis
administered,thelessitisfelt.
230
Itistrue,however,thatitisfarlesslikerealCommunionin
a sick room, than in the Church. For the holy sanctuary,
manycomingtogethertothealtarrailandallthoseassoci
ationsarethegreatestaidtoworship.Nevertheless,when
Godcallsanyoneasideintotheirbedroom,Heexpectsthem
toworshipHimthere,andnotatChurch.ItistherethatHe
meetswiththem,andblessesthem.
TheywillnotfailtofindHispresence,iftheyreallyexpectit
andbelieveinit.Thefearofinterruptionsandofnotchoos
ingasuitabletime,canbeoffsetbysettingapartaspecial
time,whichisthemostfreeperiodofthedayfrominterrup
tionsandbymakingitastatedService,atthattime,moreor
lessfrequentlyaccordingtocircumstances.
Ofcourse,inashortillnessinwhichthereisthehopeof
speedyrecovery,itmaybegoodtowaituntilyoucangoto
Church.Butinanylongillnessandespeciallyinalifelong
sickness,foregoingCommunionismerelyrobbingyourself
ofablessingwhichyouneverneeded,perhapssomuch,be
fore.
Asaguide,theChurchofEnglandspecifiesthreetimesin
the year as the least possible number for anyone to take
Communionwhoconsidershimselfasa member.Nor are
thesickpersonsexcludedfromthisorderiftheyaremem
bersoftheChurch.Itiseasytopreventcausingalarmto
yourfriendsbytheproposalifyoufirsttellthemthatthe
desireisnotfromanyideaoftheimmediateapproachof
death.Youcantellthemthedesirecomesfromfeelingthat
itisyourhighestdutyandblessing.
Itisagreatmistaketowaituntilyourdyinghourbeforeyou
availyourselfofsogreatahelpinlivingtoGodandinsuf
feringHisholywill.BecauseCommunionhassooftenbeen
lookeduponinthislight,peopleareapttofancythatitis
required only in cases of dangerous sickness. There is no
strengthorhelpasgreatasCommunioninadyinghourand
itisagreatblessingforthosewhohaveitscomfortthen.But
231
weneedgraceandhelpandstrengthtosuffer,aswellasto
die,forwhileliving,weliveuntotheLord.
Surely no slight hindrance, nothing that can possibly be
overcomeoughttopreventusfromseekingthisblessingand
fromfulfillingthiscommandofoursufferinganddyingLord
andMaster.WhatHehascommandedHelikewisedesires.
Hesays,IhaveearnestlydesiredtoeatthisPassoverwithyou
beforeIsuffer" (Luke22:15).Heisready,Heisinvitingus
andwillbetrulypresentwithus.
Heisready.Theunreadinessisonlyonourside.Heiswill
ing.Theunwillingnessiswhollyonourpart.Heinvitesus
anditiswewhorefuse.
ThemorefrequentlysickpersonscantakeCommunion,the
morethefeelingofstrangenessandinabilityto enjoythe
Servicewilldecrease.Theywilleatandlive.Theywillfeel
strengthenedtocarryon,ontheirwearyway.Theywillbe
raisedabovesufferingby lookingtoJesus,thefounderand
perfecterofourfaith,whoforthejoythatwassetbeforehim
enduredthecross,despisingtheshame,andisseatedatthe
righthandofthethroneofGod(Hebrews12:2).
Inthisway,theylearntoendureasseeingHimwhoisinvis
ible (Hebrews 11:27 AV) and to "go from strength to
strength,untiltheyappearinZionbeforeGod" (Psalms84:7
AV).Letnohindrances,nofears,nodelays,robyouthenof
this your bounden duty and service". Lay aside every
weight and ask Him to overcome all difficulties for you.
Lookuponitasadutyandyouwillsoonfindthatitcanbe
fulfilled.
Beware of allowing yourself to make excuses, lest you
shouldfindthatsuchexcusesarenotsoeasilyacceptedand
allowedbeforeGod.Ifanyspecialthingburdensyourmind,
anyfearthatsomeparticularsinisahindrance,theChurch
directsyoutolayitbeforesomediscreetandlearnedminis
terofGod'sword.
232
Perhaps you have a fear lest your great bodily weakness

shouldpreventyoufromattendingandthatyoushallonly
giveoutwardworship,yourthoughtsinthemeantimeeither
wandering,orbeingliterallyabsentandbeyondyourcon
trol.Donotfearthis."Heknowsyourframe,andremembers
thatyouaredust"(Psalms103:14AV).Hewillonlyrequire
andexpectofyouasmuchserviceandattentionasyouare
abletogiveandHeknowshowmuchthatisandexpectsno
more. Sometimes sick people have found that they were
raisedfarabovetheirweaknessandforthetimebeing,en
abledtoforgetit.Itisagoodplantomakeitaspecialsub
jectofprayerinadvance,toaskthatyoumayforgetyour
body and yourself, that you may forget the presence of
everyoneandonlybeconsciousofHispresence,Hewhohas
invitedyoutomeetHimandtoeatHisfleshanddrinkHis
blood."
EvenifitmustbethatyoucannotattendtothewholeSer
vice,therewillbeahallowedcalmfeelingshedaroundyou
andportionsofityouwillunderstandandenjoy.Attimes
theblessingmaybeevengreaterafterwardsthanyouwere
awareofatthetime.DonotdistressyourselfwhentheSer
vice is ended, or in time to come by thinking how little
powerofattentionyouhad.SayratherlikePeter,Lord,You
knowallthings;youknowthatIloveYou(John21:17).Ac
ceptmypoor,weak,brokenservice,notweighingmymer
its,butpardoningmyoffences,forthesakeofJesusChrist
ourLord.Amen."
5.4PrayerforHealing
Peoplewhoaresickareoftenperplexedbythequestionof
whetheritisrighttoprayforhealing.Somepeopleurgethe
dutyofdoingso,asiftheythinktheycan"takeheavenbyvi
olence"(Matthew11:12AV).Others,onthecontrary,think
thatprayingforhealingisaproofoflackofsubmissionto
233
God'swill,ofabeliefthatillnessissentbyGodandthere
foreweshouldnotwishtogetbetter.
Most certainly, ifourHeavenly Fathergaveus everything
thatweaskjustbecauseweaskit,ifHegrantedallourde
sires,justbecauseHewouldnotdenyusanything,thenwe
oughttoaskfornothingbutthatwhichHehasalreadygiv
enusandnevertellHimourdesires,incasewhenwethink
thatweareaskingforafish",itshouldprove"astone.
Wherethenwouldbethecomfortortherestofprayer?But
Hegivesusonlythosethingsthatarereallygoodforus,just
asHewithholdseverythingthatwouldproveevilforusand
He mercifully denies us when we pray for things which
would not fulfilHis gracious purposes towards us. Sowe
neednotfeartotellHimallourwishes,allourdesires,and
toleaveittoHimtograntthem,ortodenythemasseems
goodinHissight(Luke10:21AV).WemayrestinHislove"
(Zephaniah3:17)asmuchinsickness,asinallthings.
Itwouldshowalackofchildlikeconfidencetokeepback
anythingfromGod.SoletusnotfeartotellHimeverything,
tolayourwaywarddesiresbeforeHimandletHimteachus
byHisdisciplinewhetherthesethingsseemgoodornot.
Therefore,ifyoudesiretobehealed,donotfeartotellHim
so.Ifyousharethiswithafriend,theymaysay,"Thisproves
asadlackofsubmission".ButdonotfeartotellGod.Keep
backnothingbackfromHim,asitisnotsinceretodoso.He
requirestruthintheinwardbeing(Psalms51:6).AskHim,
in this thing too, to conform you to His will, and then,
surely, "ifinanythingyou thinkotherwise, Godwillreveal
thatalsotoyou(Philippians3:15).
Whenfirstapersonisfirst'visited'withsickness,itisaduty
to pray that, if it be the will of God, he or she may be
healed.Norindeedonlyatthebeginningofanillness.For
theChurchteachesus,evenduringthelastperiodofanill
nessthatweshouldpray,Weknow,OLord,thatnowork
234
isimpossiblewithyouandthatifyouwillityoucanyet
raise him or her up, and grant a longer continuance
amongstus."So,intheCollectintheServicefortheCom
munionoftheSick"thereisaprayerthathemayrecover
hisbodilyhealth".Butaddedis"ifitbeThygraciouswill".
This seems a fit pattern for our prayers for healing. We
oughttoaskforit,sinceitwouldseemlikeanundervaluing
oflifeifwedidnot.Butweoughtalwaystoadd"ifitbeThy
will"andtoseektobecontentinwhateverformtheanswer
comes. No fear of life and its cares and responsibilities,
shouldkeepusfromthisprayerandnoimaginationthatthe
temptationsofhealtharegreaterthanthoseofsickness.We
wouldindeedbenovicesinsicknesstosupposethisandnot
yet to have discovered that health is only a change of
temptations and trials. No one can say which are the
greatesttemptations:thoseofhealthorthoseofsicknessbe
causetheyaresodifferentthattheycannotbecompared.
Besides,thiswouldbeunderratingthepowerofGod,whois
abletostrengthenusandto"keepusfromfalling"under
anycircumstanceswhatsoever.Itisimpossible,whilelifere
mains, evertoknow thatanyone willnot recover or that
theirsicknessisuntodeath".But whenitseemstobea
caseoflifelongsickness,whenwehaveonceortwiceasked
thatthe'thorn'ofsicknessmayberemovedand,ifstill,asin
St.Paul'scase,itisnotpermittedtodepartfromus,then
letusbecontentwiththeassurance, Mygraceissufficient
foryou(2Corinthians12:9).
Doubtless,afterhisprayersforphysicalhealing,Paulwas
contentandonlyasked,daybyday,forthefulfilmentofthe
promiseandforabilitytodoandtosuffer,hisMaster'swill,
inthatstateoflifeuntowhichithadpleasedGodtocall
him.Theconstantaskingtohavethethornremoved,either
inhis,orinourcasemightproduceaveryrestless,dissatis
fiedspiritandadesireforthatwhichitwasnotthewillof
Godtogive.
235
Wemustdaybyday,praythatGodwillgiveusthemeasure
ofgraceandstrengthwhichweneedtoenableustodoHis
will.
Wheneveryoufeelinclinedtoaskforhealing,donotstop
the desire or fear to share your wish with your heavenly
Father.ButleaveittoHimtograntortodenythem,asHe
seesbestforyou.
236
PartVICONVALESCENCE
6.1ItspleasuresandItstrials
Ifyouhaveeverexperiencedinthepast,thetrialofreturn
ingtohealthandlifeyoumayitfindthethoughtdifficult.
Forsomepeoplegettingbetterfromillnessisagreattrial81.
Youmay,atsomepastperiodinyourlife,havehadsome
serious illness which threatened your life. You may have
beentoldthattheillnesswasincurableandthatrecovery
was impossible. You thought you had a few short hours
whichwouldbeyourlastbattle.Itmaybethatyouheard
thisprognosiswithaverythankfulheart.Youdidnotfear
deathandhadlongwaitedthewelcomesummonstoabet
terlife.
Hourafterhourpassedaway,butstillyouwerestillhereon
earth, to the surprise of your doctor and your friends. It
seemedtothemthatyoucouldnotstrugglethroughit.You
thoughtthat you werelaying downyour spiritual armour
andthatalltemptationswouldsoonbeended,allpossibility
ofsinningwouldbeleftbehindandthatyoushouldsoon
"alwaysbewiththeLord"(1Thessalonians4:17).
However,itpleasedGodtocallyoubacktolivelonger.The
crisispassedandyouweretoldthatyouwouldnowrecover
your bodily health. This was not easy. You had already
taken leave of friends. You had finished so you thought,
withearthanditsallurementsandnowyoumustyoureturn
toitinthehowlingwasteofthewilderness (Deuteronomy
32:10).
ItwasconsideredacceptableinVictorianEnglandtoexpressalonging
fordeathasareleasefromsinandasareconciliationwithchosenloved
ones.Hence,longingfordeath,whichmightbeconsideredasignofde
pressionand'morbid'today,wouldhavebeenreasonablein1850.
81
237
Suddenly, you find it much harder to be content to live,

thantobecontentandwillingtodie."MyFather,ifitbepos
sible,letthiscuppassfromme;nevertheless,notasIwill,but
asyouwill(Matthew26:39).OtakemewhereIwouldbe;
letmegotoThee;letmeceasefromsin;0letmebeatrest
forever82".Thenthefirstsevereinnerconflictisover.You
feelthatGodisLoveandyoucansay,Thywillbedone".
Thencomesthefirstglowofreturninghealth.Itbringsfeel
ings of joy and exhilaration, at least for a few hours or
minutesoftheday.Buttheexhaustionandconsequentde
pression must be faced too. You feel the delight of the
passingawayofpain,ofthereturnofindependenceandof
thepleasureofdoingsomethingmoreforyourselfeachday.
Aboveall,youhavethecongratulationsandthegreatlove
andkindnessoffriends.
You never realisedthat they cared somuch for you, that
your life and your love were so important to them. You
seemtheoneobjectofallyourfriends'attentionsandyou
feelthatthedelightyourrecoveryhasgiventhemandthe
newknowledgeyouhavereceivedoftheirlove,wasworth
allthesuffering.Inotherwords,youhavenotobtaineditat
toogreataprice.
Butthetrialisnotendedyet.Thesepleasantfeelings,this
firstglowofreturninghealthwillpassaway.Inexchange,
youwillhaveexceedingwearinessandlanguorwhichwill
induce great depression of spirits and a series of nervous
anddistressingfeelingswillariseoutofyourweakness.This
againwilllieheavyonyourmind.Insteadofthepleasureof
findingthateachdayyoucandomoreandmore,forsome
timeitwillseemtoyoueitherthatyoucandolesseachday,
orthatyouareneithergettingbetterorworse.
Youwillseemtogrowweakerinmindandbody.Youima
ginethatfriendsarelesslovingandconsideratethanthey
wereatfirst.Youforgetthough,thatatfirst,inthetimeof
82
Wecannotyetidentifywherethisquotationistakenfrom.
238
anxiety,theythoughtthattheyshouldonlyhaveyoufora
fewmoredaysandtheirusualagendaswerelaidasideand
theirthoughtscentredinyou.
It cannot continue like this. You must now be content to
have that care scattered through your life, which was
gatheredupintoashortspaceandtoreceive,almostuncon
sciously,thegentleshoweroflovefromhourtohour,in
steadofthefulltidewhichflowedsodelightfullyuponyou.
Asforyou,youmustreturntothebustleandflusteroflife
againandallitstemptationswhichusedtoassaultyouwill
returnnow.Youwillhavethetrialoffindingthatyouare
justasopentotemptationsasbefore,with,itseemstoyou,
lessstrengthtomeetthem.
Youthoughtthatinsicknessyouhadlostyoursusceptibility
totemptations. Theydidnotassailyousomuchandyou
didnotperceivethatthereasonforthiswasthatyouhada
changeoftemptations,achangeoftrials,butnotanexemp
tion from them. You thought that you were much more
changedandrenewedbyillnessthanitnowappearstoyou
to be the case. When you were very ill, spiritual realities
wereeverpresentandtheunseenworldseemedveryclose.
Friends at rest seemed around your bed. Sometimes they
aloneseemedrealtoyouandyouhadfarclosercommunion
withthemthanwiththoseaboutyou.
Youthoughtthatthisstatewassomuchapartofyou,thatit
wouldalwayslastandthatthepoweroftheworldoveryou
wasgoneandallitscharmbroken,nevertoberenewed.But
now,thespiritualrealitiesdwindleandseemtofadedaily
moreandmorefromyoursight.
Theworldslowlyandimperceptiblygainsitsholdofyou,
andearthlydesiresfastenuponyou.Thecaresandbusiness
oftheearthengrossyouandyourlawfulcallingisfastfilling
upyourheartandbecauseitisyourlawfulcalling,itisthe
moreinsinuatinganddangerous.
239
Youhavenotyetrecoveredyourfullstrength.Everylittle
demandweighsheavilyonyou.Eachlittlefatigueisvery
greatandyoubecomeirritableandfretful,dissatisfiedwith
yourself,andeveryonearound.
Thenyoulookbackatthetimelately,inwhichyouseemed
sodifferent.Youthinkyourselfinafarworsestatethanyou
werebeforeandyouaredeeplydiscouraged.Youthinkthat
friendsmisunderstand you andyousay,Iloathe mylife
(Job10:1).Youthoughtthatyouhadenteredtheriverof
passingover,thatthesolesofyourfeetwerewet,thatyou
had gone deeper down and yet, after all that you were
calledbacktolife.Youhavebeencalledbackforyouknow
nothowlong.Allthatseemeddoneandfinishedmustnow
beginagain.
You say to yourself that you shall never believe it again
whenyouaretoldthatyouaredying,andthatuntil'thelast
enemy'hasactuallydoneitswork,youshallbealwaysex
pectingthatanother'disappointment'.
Itisbettertorealizethatthetimesandtheseasonsarehid
denfromyou.Onlydonotletthisunderstandingmakeyou
unwatchful.Letitleadyoutomuchmoreearnestwatching
becauseconcerningthatdayorthathour,nooneknows,not
eventheangelsinheaven,northeSon,butonlytheFather"
(Mark13:32).
Muchofyoursenseofdiscouragementisphysicalandarises
fromthereturntoduties,fatiguesandenduringthewear
andtearoflifewithaweakenedbodyandshatterednerves.
Havepatiencewiththisstateasitwillpassawaygradually
asstrengthreturns.Impatienceaddedtoitwillgreatlyadd
toyourtrialanddistress.Itmusthappen.
Takeitasanecessaryhumiliation,asaproofthatthereis
muchstilltobecorrectedinyou,beforeyouarereadyfor
theMaster'spresence.LiedowninquietsubmissiontoHis
FatherlycorrectionasHewillteachyouverymuchbythis
processifyouwill only "Takemyyokeuponyou,andlearn
240
fromme,forIamgentleandlowlyinheart,andyouwillfind
restforyoursouls(Mark11:29).
Youstillneedtobeshownwhatwasinyourheartandyou
mustlearnitinHiswaynotinyourown.Believealso,that
byallthisdiscipline,Heispreparingyouforlife,forserving
Himbetterandforunderstandingandhelpingyourfellows
infaithmorethanyouhavedonesofar.
God has work yet for you to do, so do it cheerfully and
withoutcomplaining.Beverythankfultobeemployedfor
Him,inanywaythatHepleases.
6.2BeingCalledBacktoLifehowtoAcceptLife
Again
There are some who have desired to die for many years,
whohavebeenbroughtvery closetodeathandyet have
beencalledbacktolifeandlearnedtoloveit.Theirstruggle
hasbeenaverydifficultone.
At first, when they were called back, they could scarcely
bear the trial and its extreme disappointment. They had
fullythoughttogoto"abetterplace"andnow,forawhile,
theymuststay.Theythoughtthattheirpainandsuffering
wasnearlyover.Nowthereistheprospectofitslongcon
tinuance.Theyhadthoughtthattheyshouldsoonbeoutof
the reach of temptation, but they are called to return to
themall.Onestepmoreandtheybelievedthattheirweary,
earthlypilgrimagewouldbeatanend.Instead,itstretches
beforethemlikeaseawithoutashore.
Itmaybethattheyhavehadtheexpectationofimmediate
departure.Instead,theyarecalledbyGodtolieseemingly
in the arms of death for weeks or months, all the time,
eagerlylookingforthewelcomesummonsandgrowingim
patientofthelongdelay.
Theymay,perhaps,havehadverygoodreasonsanddesires.
TheymayreallyhavedesiredtodepartandbewithChrist
241
(Philippians1:23AV)andnotfromlowermotives.Buteven
insuchadesire,theremaybeanunchastenedeagerness,a
lackofentiresubmissionwhichtheRefinersawnecessaryto
purgeoutandpurify.Heaccepts,mostlovingly,thedesire
tobewithHim,thoughHemaynotseefittograntitright
now.InsteadHemakesHischildwaitalittlelonger,until
theirwilliswhollyonewithHisandwithwhatHewishes.
Thatandthatalonetheywillwishalso.
ItisonlyforourblessingthatHekeepsushereonearth,for
theLordhassaid,Father,Idesirethattheyalso,whomyou
havegivenme,maybewithmewhereIam,toseemyglory
that you have given me because you loved me before the
foundationoftheworld"(John17:24).Jesuswillistohave
allHischildrengatheredinto Hispresence.However, His
loveoftenwaitslongforthefulfilment,sothattheymaybe
perfected.Itisoftenalongtimebeforethesoulperceives
thistruth.Inthemeantime,thesoulmaybetormentedby
hard thoughts about God, by impatience at the delay, by
restlessness, discontent, weariness of life, disappointment,
and,attimes,rebellionagainstHisholywill.
ButHewillnotleaveusinthisstate.Hewillsubdueour
iniquities"(Micah7:19AV)andbringourwillstotheobedi
enceoffaith"(Romans16:26).
TheAlmightyGod,whoalonecanordertheunrulywillsand
affectionsofsinfulmenwillorderours.Withsome,itisa
verylongprocess,withothersmuchmorerapid.Butthat
"patient waiting for Christ" (2 Thessalonians 3:5 AV) the
Lordalonecan"directtheheartto."Itisnotsoonattained.
Thestepsareoftenveryslowandthedisappointmentsvery
great. It often seems like walking in very wet weather
amongpuddles:weseemtogobackasmanystepsaswego
forward.
First,theremaybeanoccasionalwillingnesstolive,which
alternateswitharealdesiretodie.Then,graduallythewill
ingnessmaybemorepersistentuntilitisunderstoodthat
242
Godisspeaking,saying,Toremaininthefleshismorene
cessary on your account. Then the soul answers, Con
vincedofthis,IknowthatIwillremainandcontinuewithyou
all, for your progress and joy in the faith" (Philippians
1:24,25).ItisthisassuranceofthewillofGodthatchanges
ourmind.Itdoesnottransformthecharacterlessthanthe
mind.Instead,itproducesaquietsubmissionandchastens
thewholeperson.Thereisnolongerastruggle,nolonger
thesenseofThisisHiswill,butthatismine;Imustsubmit,
forIcannothelpit.OthatHewouldwillitotherwise!.
This rebellious thought becomes "This is His will and be
causeitisHiswill,thereforeitismywill.Mywillleadsme
astray,soIgiveitupforever,andseektoknowonlyHis
will.IalwaysfindrestinHisWillaseverythingelseisunrest
tome.IcanrestinHislove,andwaituntilHecallsme".
BesidesthecertaintyofitbeingHiswill,therecomesadeep
senseofthankfulnessatbeingallowedtodoanythingfor
Him,toserveHiminanyway,whetherthroughsuffering,or
in whatever form service may come. To work for God is
goodandpleasantandseemsathingtobethankfulfor,a
greathonour.
Theworkmaybehidden,butdaybyday,hourbyhour,it
willberevealed.Theworkandthestrengthwillbeappor
tionedequallyandsenttogether.Then,also,thereisadeep
senseofhavingbeenmostunfittodepartatthetimewhen
itwaseagerlydesired.Afeelingofshameandwonder,too,
thatyoucouldeverhavethoughtyourselfreadytogo,when
now,inlookingback,youseehowyourwillwasatvariance
withthewillofGod,howmuchyouwereactuallyseeking
self,easeandrest,whenyouthoughtthatyouwereseeking
God.
Howfullofselfdelusionthepastseems!Attimesyoucan
scarcelythinkaboutit,torememberhowmuchbetteryou
thoughtyourselfandyourstatethanyouhadjustification
243
for and how you imagined it was "well" with your soul,
whenyounowseethatitwasfarfromwell.
Youfeelverythankfulthatyouwerenotcutoffthen,before
youknewmoreofGodandofyourself,beforeyourwillwas
conformedtoHiswill.Youfeelnowthatyouknownothing,
that you have noidea what is thebest for you, that you
wouldnotchooseifyoucouldbutprefertoleaveyourselfin
Hishands,eithertoserveHim,bysufferingsolongasHe
seesfit,ortoreturntoactiveserviceintheworld.Inthis
stateofmind,youleavethetimeofyourdeparturewholly
toHim,engageinnospeculationsaboutit,butgrow,dayby
day,inlovetowardsHim,sothatforyourlovetoHimthe
timeshallseemtoyouonlyoneday.
Nowyoudonotwanttodie.Youonlywanttohavenosep
aratewillandtoloseyourselfinGod.Formerlyyoulooked
onyoursojournhereas"absencefromGod",almostentire
separation.Youfeltthatyouwerealwayspreparingtobe
with Him, but were yet far off from Him and this added
greatlytothewearinessoflifeandtheeagernessfordeath.
NowyouhavelearnedthatHeisalwayspresentwithyou,
thoughyoudonotalwaysrealiseitandthattheoneobject
ofyourlifeshouldbetolivewithHimnow,tofeelthatHe
is"aboutyourpathandyourlyingdown,andacquaintedwith
allyourways(Psalm139:3AV).Youfeelthatyounever
needbealoneandcansay,"Iamnotalone,fortheFatheris
withme(John8:16AV).
Youhavelearnt,tosomeextent,tounderstandHisnearness
toyou,Histendersympathy,Hissharingallyourthoughts
andyourveryheartandthatinHimallyourdeepestcrav
ingsaresatisfied.Youwillnotleadasadandsolitarylifebe
causeHewillalwaysbewithyou,yourFriendandCoun
sellor,yourLordandMaster"andevenyourHusband."
YouhavelearntthatthemoreyoulearnofHimhere,the
morereadyyouwillbetoenterintoandenjoyHispresence
inHeaven.ThereissomuchtolearnaboutHimandabout
244
you,here.Youwouldbefrightenedincaseyoudonotlearn
everythingandshoulddietoosoon.Ifyoudidnotknowthe
greatpatienceofyourTeacher,thatHisLoveissowonder
ful,thatHewillhaveyouconformedtoHisimage"(Romans
8:29AV).
Attimes,youareworriedthatthereissomethingwrongin
thischangeofheartaboutdying.Youareconcernedincase
itprovesadecreaseofyourloveforHimandprovesthat
youdesirelesstobewithHim.Butitisnotthecase.You
havethedeepestreasontogivethanksthatyouhavebeen
broughtintothisconditionofheart,thoughyoumayhave
passedthroughfearfulconflictstoattainit.
Remember,too,thathoweverfirmthisstateofmindmay
seem,itissubjecttofluctuationandthatsuddentempta
tions to impatience and selfpity may seize you and take
holdofyoubycominguponyouwithoutwarning.Thereis
nostate,thissideofthegrave,inwhichwecanceaseto
standinour"watchtower." Watchandpraythatyoumay
notenterintotemptation.Thespiritindeediswilling,butthe
flesh isweak" (Mark 14:38). As foryou, alwaysbesober
minded,enduresuffering"(2Timothy4:5)."Workyourwork
betimes,andinHistimeHewillgiveyouyourreward"(Eccle
siastes2:30).
YouwillfindworktodoifyouwillconstantlylooktoGod
togiveyouyourhourlyportionofit,toshowyouwhatHe
wouldhaveyoutodo.Ifyouareconstantlylookingoutfor
it,itwillcometoyou,inbearingsufferingandinselfcon
trol,inlittleactsofselfdenial,inhelpingothersandinways
forwhichyouwillgetnocredit.Fortheirswillbethework
thatisseenandyourstheworkthatisunseen.Thisiswork
done in the continual renunciation of your own will and
throughlivingforothers,insteadofforyourself.
Allthatyouhavelearnedinyourmostacutesickness,all
thatyouarelearningnow,initslengthenedeffectsofdebil
itating weakness which disables you from the delights of
245
activeChristianministry,willhelpyouinwhatnowliesbe
foreyou.
246
PartVIIDEATH
7.1Thefearofdeaththefearofittakenaway
TherearesomeChristianbelieverswhohaveneverknown
whatitistofeardeath.Theyhaveseemedtobeverynearto
dying,buthavealwaysrejoiced.TheyhavehailedtheAngel
ofDeathasabrightpresence,spokenofdeathasajoyful
prospect,ofdeathitselfas"beautiful".Theyhaveneverhad
anysympathywiththosewhohavespokenfearfullyofit.
Theyhavethoughtsuchfeelingseitherlackofmoralcour
age,lackoffaithoraproofofearthlinessofheart.Theymay
havemadehardjudgementsofthosewhodidfeardeath.
Theysaythattheycannotunderstandhowanyonecanfear
death.Buttheirturncomes,Fearandtremblingcomeupon
me,andhorroroverwhelmsme(Psalms55:5). Myheartis
struckdownlikegrassandhaswithered;Iforgettoeatmy
bread"(Psalms102:4).Nowtheirjudgementscomeback.
Perhaps, there may be no particular cause for you at
present,forthissuddenfear."Youmaynotbemoreillthan
youhavebeen,nothingmayhaveoccurredtostimulatesuch
thoughts.Butyoufindsuddenlythatitsfearhasseizedupon
yoursoulandthereisnoescapefromit.Deathhasfastened
hiseyeuponyouandthereisnoescapingthefixednessof
hissearchinglook.Youmustmeetitandforthefirsttimeit
makesyouquail.
Youmayhavemetitbefore,sowhythenshouldyoufearto
meetitnow?Youdon'tknow. Thistime,deathcomesto
youasaperfectlynewapparition.Itistheexceedingandin
describablevaguenessofitthatterrifiesyou.Youfeelthat
somethingisgoingtograspyoubutwhat,isunknown.No
onecantellyoumuchaboutitbecausenoonehasreturned
totellwhattheypassedthroughatdeath.Youseemtobeall
aloneandyoutrembleatthisexceedingloneliness. Ahor
247
ribledread(Psalms55:5AV)comesuponyou;yourwhole
nature,bothinbodyandinsoul,tremblestoitsverycentre.
Thereistheawarenessofpersonalsinfulness,thesenseof
unfitnesstomeetGod,theunpreparednesstodie,themulti
tudeofpersonalfaults,theeviltemper,thebadthoughts
andhabits.Therearetherecollectionofinnumerablesins,
ofgreatomissionsandlukewarmnessinreligiousduties,the
scantloveandgratitudegiventoGodandtheimperfection
ofrepentance.Allthesemakeustrembleatthethoughtof
goingtogiveouraccounttoGod.Wefeelasifitwereim
possiblethatwecouldbesaved.
Whenwecome,asitwere,intothepresenceofdeath,our
wholeconsciousnessispenetratedwithasenseofsin.We
seenotonlytheevilwehavedonebutthegoodwehaveleft
undone.Thegoodthatwehavetriedtodo,weseeforthe
firsttime,revealedbysomestrangeandsearchinglight,in
whichitalllooksblemished,marredandsullied.Well,let
thissinsimplydriveyouclosertoHisCross.Giveupyour
self,yoursinandyourwillintoHishands.
Hewillnotleaveyoutoyourself,Hewillnotforsakeyou.
Heisnearandthatjustifiesyou."AndthedaughterofZionis
leftlikeaboothinavineyard,likealodgeinacucumberfield,
likeabesiegedcity.IftheLordofhostshadnotleftusafew
survivors,weshouldhavebeenlikeSodom,andbecomelike
Gomorrah(Isaiah1:8,9).
Letusaskourselves,"Who,then,shallseparatemefromthe
loveofGodinJesusChrist?"(Romans8:39).Thereisnothing
thatisableto.Thoughallpowersofhellbeagainstmefor
myunutterableguilt,allHisholypowersareonmyside.
GodtheFatherlovesmeandgaveHisSonforme.Godthe
SonlovesmeandgaveHimselfforme.GodtheHolySpirit
lovesmeandhasregenerated,prevented,restrained,con
vertedme.TheeverblessedTrinitylovesmeanddesiresmy
salvation.Allheavenlypowersandallholyangelsloveand
rejoiceoveronepenitentsoul.
248
Thewholeworldunseenisbenignandblessed,fulloflove
tosinners,'ofwhomIamchief'(1Timothy1:15)83.SoIgive
myself into the hands of a boundless love. As an infinite
misery, I cast myself upon an infinite mercy. This is my
comfortanditisallsufficing.
Sothoughsomemaydesiredeath,othersrecoilfromitin
theirinmostsouls.Theymaydesirelifeinanyformofsuf
fering,ratherthanmeetdeath.Insomepeople,thereisan
instinctive,a naturalfearofdeathdue towhich theyare
subjecttolifelongslavery(Hebrews2:15).Theveryideaof
deathisaterrortothemandtheycanscarcelybeartohear
"death" mentioned. They have tried by faith and earnest
prayerstoovercomethisdread,butalltheirlifeitremains
withthemuntiltheyarebroughtintotheverypresenceof
death.
Thengenerally,eitherthefearisremovedorthesoulthat
hasbeeneverdreadingthelasthour,passesoutoflifeun
knowinglyandwithoutanysufferingofbodyormind.There
maybeinstancestothecontrarybuttheyarerare.Alltheir
prayersoffereddaybyday,thatthefearofdeathmightbe
removedareansweredatthelast.Theirprayerswerenotin
vain.TheywereheardandwerenotforgottenbyGod.
Manypeoplehaveapeculiardreadofalastillness.They
knowthatitmustcome,buttheirsoulrecoilsfromit.They
wouldliketodiesuddenly, toescapeit.Doesthefearof
painthatmakesthemafraid?Thethoughtthat,then,when
the last hour is drawing near, pain will put forth its full
strength, a strength that they have never known before.
Doesyourwholesoulrecoilfromthisthought?Hewhosaid,
MyFather,ifitbepossible,letthiscuppassfromme;never
83
TheEnglishStandardVersiontranslatesStPaul'swordsas:Thesaying
istrustworthyanddeservingoffullacceptance,thatChristJesuscameinto
theworldtosavesinners,ofwhomIamtheforemost.
249
theless,notasIwill,butasyouwill"(Matthew26:39)knows
andunderstandsyourfear.
HetastedthisfearofdeaththatHemightunderstandit,so
thatnotoneofHischildrenmightever passthroughthis
fear,alone.Isitthehelplessnessofthoselasthours?Theun
speakablesufferingwhichnoheartbutyourowncanshare,
which distresses you? The possibility of doing or saying
somethingwrongattheendthathauntsyou?Ofbeingun
able,throughbrokenspeech,toconveyyourmeaning?
Fearnot:thereisOnewhoknowsandunderstandsitall,
wholooksatyourthoughtsandintentionsandlooksinto
yourheartthemosttenderlywhenHeknowsthatnoone
elsecan.YouhavegivenyourselftoHim.Fearnot.Jesus
willnotleaveyouatthelasthourforHehascalledyoutoit
andHewillleadyouthrough.Hesaid,"Ihaveabaptismto
bebaptisedwith,andhowgreatismydistressuntilitisac
complished"(Luke12:50).ItwasaccomplishedinHim.
When He said, It is finished (John 19:30 AV) then the
lonelinessofthedeepestdarknessofdeathwasfinishedfor
eachofHisfollowers.Hewillcometofetchyou,sotrust
yourselftoHim.Hesays,Iamwithyoualways,totheend
oftheage"(Matthew28:20)Letnotyourheartsbetroubled.
BelieveinGod;believealsoinme(John14:1).
Itispointlesstothinkaboutwhatyouwouldprefer.God
willchooseforyouandbesurethatHewillchoosethevery
bestthingwhichyouwillafterwardsseewasthebest.Do
notjudgeyourspiritualstatebyyourdesirefordeath,orfor
life.Thisleadstofalseopinions.
Forthosetowhomlifehasbeenverysweet,whohaveen
joyedit,whohavehadmanyties,especiallythenearestand
closestties,suchashusband,wifeorchildren;forthosewho
seeafairandbrightprospectsaheadofthemandhavecom
fortsandearthlyblessingsaroundthem,itisadifficultthing
250
togiveuplifewithawillingandgladheart,oreven,with
thewholesoul,andsay,Thywillbedone".
Whileforothers,whosetieshavebeenfew,whoseearthly
prospectshavebeendarkened,whohavenoonedepending
onthemandnoonewholovesthembest,itmaybevery
easy tobe willing and even a release tolay aside their
weary,wornoutbody.
Nooneoughtontheonehandtosaythatitissinfulnotto
bemoredesiroustodepartorontheother,thatitisaproof
ofreadinessandsubmissiontowishtodepart.Yousome
times,perhaps,saytoyourfriends,Donotprayformeto
live."Oughtyoutohavesuchachoice?
IsitnotbettertoaskGodtogiveuseitherlifeordeath,sick
nessorhealth,asitpleasesHim?Ithasbeenthoughtthese
wordsareaproofofadesirefor,andreadinesstodepart,
butsurelyitisahigherstatetoleaveeverythingtoHimand
toknownothingyourself,whatyouwouldprefer.Weare
poorjudges.LetusnotjudgeandleaveittoHimwhohas
"appointedasettime (Job14:13AV)forusandwillre
memberus.
Asforourselves,letthetruelanguageofourheartsbe
"Letmeneverchoose,eithertoliveordie.
Bindorbruise,inThyhandsIlie.
Formyblindedchoice,likemyself,wouldbe.
IrejoicethatThouchooseforme"84.
7.2Apublicdeathbed,andthedesiretochooseits
circumstances
Itisnotonlydeaththatsomepeoplefear,butthereisape
culiardreadfromadeathbedsurroundedbymanypeople.
Wecannotidentifythesourceoftheselines.Itisnotimpossiblethat
PriscillaMauricewrotethem.
84
251
Howoftentheythink,IfIcanonlydieinthenight,orif
therewere suchandsuch apersonwithme,oronlyone
friendandapastortocommendmysoultoGod,thendeath
would seem much easier. But I dread the effect that the
presenceofmanypeoplemighthaveonme,theirweeping
andsorrowwillfillmythoughtsandoppressandsaddenmy
mind.IfeelasifIcouldnotbearit.Then,too,IfearthatI
willbetemptedtosaythingsmerelytogivethempleasure,
or for my words to be remembered and I fear that they
wouldbeemptywords.Iamfearfultoo,incaseinmylast
hourIshoulddishonourmyLordandMaster,theGodwho
hasbeenmyshepherdallmylifelongtothisday (Genesis
48:15). I am frightened too that in my last hours there
shouldbeanelementofimpatience,orevilwords,evenina
deliriumwhenthosefearfulpainscomewhichwillseparate
thesoulfromthebody".
Thesearequitenaturalfearsandarenotinconsistentwith
truefaith.Thesefearsarenotpeculiartoyou.Fromthein
tuitive knowledge of the wants of all her children, the
Churchteachesustopray"Youknow,OLord,thesecretsof
our hearts;shut not Thy mercifulears toour prayer; but
spareusLordmostholy,0Godmostmighty,Oholyand
mercifulSaviour,ThoumostworthyJudgeeternal,sufferus
not, at our last hour, for any pains of death to fall from
Thee".Wecanofferthisprayerupcontinuallynowandcan
besurethatitwillbeanswered,whenthetimeofneedac
tuallyarrives.
Beware of the temptation to want to choose the circum
stancesofyourdeath.Youcannotchoosethem,evenifyou
could. At the time of death, you will be just where your
heavenlyFatherseesfit.Hewillcallyoueitherbynightor
byday,aloneorincompany,sleepingorwaking,asseems
goodinHissight"(Luke10:21AV).LeaveitalltoHim.
Donotmorbidlytrytoimaginethepossiblecircumstances,
orthepainsorthewords.Donotjudgefromyourpresent
252
symptomswhatturntheymusttakeorwhatsufferingthey
mustbring.Allthingsmaybewhollydifferent.Anotherill
nessmaybetheappointedmessengertocallyouawayto
Him.Youmaybeinaplacewhereyouhaveneveryetbeen,
withpeopleyouhaveneveryetseen.Itisuselesstospecu
late about it or to distress your mind with forms of trial
whichmaynevercomeuponyou.Ofonlythisbesure:that
youwillnotbealoneforTheFatherwillbewithyou(John
16:32).
7.3TheRightWayofViewingDeath
It is most awesome to meet death because death is the
wagesofsin" (Romans6:23AV)andtomeetthatlastfull
judgementwithnothingtoofferinreturn,exceptthevery
thingwhichhasbroughtthepunishment,sinitself.Byone
mansinenteredintotheworldanddeathenteredtheworld
throughsin.Sodeath passeduponallmen" (Romans5:12
AV).
Butistherenootherwayoflookingondeath?Yes,thereis;
thanksbetoGod,whogivesusthevictorythroughourLord
Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians15:57). He has overcome the
sharpnessofdeathandopenedthekingdomofHeaventoall
believers.And He,whoisourJudge, isalsoourSaviour.
Shewillbearason,andyoushallcallhisnameJesus,forhe
willsavehispeoplefromtheirsins (Matthew1:21).Hehas
said, ShallIransomthemfromthepowerofSheol?ShallI
redeemthemfromDeath?ODeath,whereareyourplagues?
OSheol,whereisyoursting?Compassionishiddenfrommy
eyes"(Hosea13:14)Odeath,whereisyourvictory?Odeath,
whereisyoursting?" (1Corinthians15:55). Fearnot,forI
am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will
strengthenyou, I will help you, I will uphold you with my
righteousrighthand"(Isaiah41:10).
He has passed through death. "He tasted death for every
man"(Hebrews2:2AV).Hehasredeemeditfromitsloneli
253
ness so that from henceforth, no one can go down into

deathalone;for eventhere yourhand shalllead me,and
yourrighthandshallholdme(Psalms139;10)."Heisnear
thatjustifiesthee(Isaiah50:8AV).
JesusisthecompanionofeveryonewhomHecallsintothe
dark valley. Even though Iwalk through the valleyof the
shadowofdeath,Iwillfearnoevil,foryouarewithme;your
rodandyourstaff,theycomfortme (Psalms23:4).Allthe
wearinessandlanguorofdying,allitsunutterablepains,all
itsexceedingvagueness,allitsfearsandtemptations,allits
darkness and dreariness, He passed through, Himself. He
knowseverystepofthewayandHecomestofetcheachone
Himself.He"whenhehasfoundit,helaysitonhisshoulders,
rejoicing" (Luke15:5).Itisa "wilderness,alandofdeserts
andpits,alandofdroughtanddeepdarkness,alandthatno
onepassesthrough,wherenomandwells(Jeremiah2:6),a
pathinwhichnoonecantrulyhelpanother.YetHewho
hasgoneeverystepofthewayknowsthewayHimselfand
HewillconducteachofHischildrensafelythroughit.
DonotfearnottogodownwithHimintothedarkriver.It
mayproveroughforaseason,thewavesmaythreatento
drownyou.Butfearnot.Heiswithyou.Fearnot,Iamthe
onewhohelpsyou"(Isaiah41:13).
Whateverweaknessyoumaybecalledtopassthrough,He
willbethe strengthofyourheart (Psalms73:26AV)He
will sustain you however your body may fail. In deepest
weaknessyouwillmeetstrengthsuchasyouneverknewbe
fore,fortheAlmightyLordwillbewithyouandstrengthen
you.YouwillneverknowthefullnessofHisstrengthuntil
you know your utmost weakness. Then His "strength be
madeperfectinyourweakness(2Corinthians12:9AV).
Thewayisshort,shorterthanyoucanimagine,untilyou
reachtheend.Youwillsurelyfindthata"highwayshallbe
there(Isaiah35:8AV)forHewithwhomandinwhomyou
walk,isTheWay."Walkinthatwayandinalittletimeyou
254
shall returnandcometoZionwithsinging;everlastingjoy
shallbeuponyourhead;youshallobtaingladnessandjoy,
andsorrowandsighingshallfleeaway (Isaiah35:10).You
shallbedeliveredfromtheburdenoftheflesh"andbein
"joyandfelicity"forever.Hewillwipeawayeverytearfrom
theireyes,anddeathshallbenomore,neithershalltherebe
mourning, nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former
thingshavepassedaway"(Revelation21:4).
255
256
APPENDIX
Suggestionstothoseministeringtothesickanddy
ing
Itisgenerallythoughtthatinstatesofexhaustion,themind
isinthesameexhaustedastateasthebody.Butthisisby
anymeansalwaysthecase.Theremaybesuchentirelossof
bodilypower,thatthesickpersonmaybeunabletomove
handorfoot,ormakeanymovementofthelipsoranysign
atall.Evendoctorswiththeirmoreexactmeansofjudging
canthinkapatientisentirelyunconsciousness.Infaintingor
inepilepticfits,thisisusuallythecase,butitisnotthecase
inthelongandwearyattacksofexhaustiontowhichsome
patientsaresubject.
Attimes,whenlifeseemstobeebbingfast,themindisof
tenundisturbed.Itisabletohaveclosercontactwiththe
unseenworld,thanwhentheeyesareopentothevisible
world. This may not be through any act of prayer, but
throughaperfectsenseofthepresenceofGod,ofrestingin
HisLove.Itmaybeaconsciousnessofdeathbeingnear,of
theunseenworldcloseathand,oflifepassingawayandof
yieldingupthebody,soulandspiritintothehandsof "the
faithfulCreator"(1Peter4:19).
Allthisandmuchmoremay,bepassingbetweenthesoul
andGod,whilefriendsatthesideofthebedthinkthatthe
mindisinactive.Thisbeingthecase,itisofgreatimport
ancethatnursesandvisitorsshouldrecognisethisandlearn
howtotreatthepatient.Herearesomesuggestions:
a)youshouldsaynothingintheroomwhichthey
wouldnotwishthesickpersontohearorwouldnot
saytothem,atanothertime.Foritiscertainthatin
allstates,exceptingincasesofdeafness,hearingis
thesensethatgoeslastandthefirstthatreturns;
257
b)youshouldavoidneedlesslydisturbingortroub
lingthepatient.Verylittlecanbedone.Gentlyap
plying restorativesto theforehead, put hot bottles
near the feet, rub the hands and feet if they are
numborcold,butavoidingthis,whentheyarenot.
Avoidtouchingthepersonasitoftencausesdistress
andagreatsenseofadditionalfatigue.Besidesthis,
nothingcanbedone.Nothingremainsbutquietness,
waiting with patience, and occasionally attempting
toserve,intheseways.
d)Muchmaybedoneforthecomfortandsoothing
ofa person inthis state, bysomeone beside them
eitheroccasionallyreadingaprayerofintercession,
or a verse of Holy Scripture or repeating a few
words.Butthismustbedoneveryslowly,distinctly
andwithintervals.Itshouldnotbedoneinawhis
perorinaloudvoice,butclearlyandcalmly,and
thesentencesshouldbekeptveryshort.Noonecan
explain the comfort of this, without having had it
triedintheirowncase.
e)Questionsshouldonlyrarelybeaskedandassoon
asitisseenthattheycannotbeanswered,thosein
attendanceshouldsay:Donottrytoanswer,asI
see you cannot". Otherwise, a sense is left in the
mind ofthoseinthisstatethatsomethingundone
whichoughttobeattempted,andtheimpossibility
ofitbecomespainful.
f)Whenaquestionisasked,itshouldnotbedone
suddenly,butthehandgentlytouchedortakenhold
ofwhilstspeaking.
g)Whenapersonisrecovering,itshouldnotbeat
temptedtomakethemspeaktoosoon.Afewgentle
words,perhapsofthankfulnessfortheirbeingbetter
shouldbesaid,butnoeffortshouldbeexpectedand
258
theutmostquietnessobservedforalongtimeafter
wards.
h)Exceptthelastsentence,allthathasbeensaidap
pliesequallyinthecaseofmostofthedying.
Often weakness and exhaustion is so great that there is
scarcelyasignoflife.Friendsareeagertohearsomelast
words,and,ifnotthatatleasttoreceivesomesignoffaith
orhope,orlove.Perhapssomequestionisaskedastothe
hopethatisinthemanditissaid,Ifyoucannotanswer,
pressmyhand."Perhaps,theeffortismade,therequestis
fulfilled.Itmayhavecostaverygreatefforttoadyingper
son.Itmayhavedistractedtheirthoughtsverypainfullyto
make this effort and may have withdrawn them, in part,
fromcommunionwithGodandwiththeunseenworld.And
why was this asked? Because we are apt to seek after a
sign(Mark8:12AV).
Someone'slifeisthetrueevidenceoftheirsalvationandnot
theirinnerstatewhenthesoulispassingoutofconscious
ness.
Theholiestsoulsmayhavealastconflictwithsin.Theymay
bespokentobyGodaboutsin,atthatmoment.Theymay
utterwordswhichwillgivenocomforttotheirfriends.So
leavethemtoGodtoteachthemandleaveittoHimtogive
themthewordstospeak,ifinthese,theyglorifyHisName.
Iftheycanspeak,theywill.Ifnot,givetheirsilencetoHim
infaith,forHecaninterpretit.
Ifthedyingcannothavethehelpandcomfortofthepres
enceandserviceofaministerorpastor,youmayhelpthem
greatlybyspeakingtothemwordsofprayerorreadinga
HolyScripture,notchieflysoothingwordsorwordsofmere
comfort.
Speaktothemofsin,ofpardon,ofthebloodofChristwhich
cleansesfromallsin (1John1:7)ofthenameofJesus,of
theloveofChristforsinners,ofHimwhohasovercomethe
259
sharpnessofdeath,andopenedthekingdomofheavento
all believers, "of His victory over sin of death having no
moredominionoverthem(Romans6:9AV).
Ifadyingpersoncanspeakandspeaktoyou,heorshewill.
Ifnot,trustthemtoGodanditshallbewellwiththemand
withyoualso.Remember,thattheanswerhasbeengivento
thequestion, WhenshallIcometoappearbeforethepres
enceofGod?(Psalms42:2AV)anditis,Behold,Istandat
thedoorandknock(Revelations3:20).
Thistimeisamomentfullofawe.Thereforebecarefulnot
tocomebetweenthesoulandGod,ortohindersomeone
fromhearingHisvoice.Godhastakenthesoulaside.Heis
speaking. Therefore "Let your words be few (Ecclesiastes
5:2).Ifanysoundscanreachtheirear,now,ifanywords
cantouchtheirheart,theywillbeHiswords,andnotyours.
SpeakonlyinHiswords,andnotinyourown. Thesoulis
abouttobeleftalonewithGod,soletitdrawneartoHim
andtocommititselftoHimandtoliedowninHisarmsin
peace.
Youmaysay,Wecanlearnsomuchfromthewordsofthe
dyingsincedeathbedsaresoedifying".Yes,theyareifGod
speaksthroughthedying,butnototherwise.Donotdoubt,
butearnestlybelieve,that,ifGodhaswordsforthedyingto
say,Hewillgivethemthepowertosaythemandthewords
willcomewithpowerintoyourheart.
ButleaveitalltoHim. DonotinterferewithHiswork.try
nottoputtoomuchdependenceonlastwords.Theymaybe
onlythedyingwordsofmortalagony.Theymaybegroans
whichcan,orwhichcannotbeuttered.Itisnotinthisway
thatyouaretolookforablessingfromdeathbeds.
Lookatdeathasthe"wagesofsin"(Romans6:23)asabitter
andawfulsentencewhichhasbeenpasseduponallMan
kind.ThenlookatitasthatwhichChristcametoconquer
sothatwemaysay:ThanksbetoGodwhogivesusthevic
260
tory, through Jesus Christ our Lord (1 Corinthians 15:57

AV).
Lookatdeathasthattowhichyouwillcomeyourself,that
forwhichyoumustprepare.Lookatitasatimeofnearand
solemn communion with God when you are called to go
down,intothevalleyoftheshadowofdeath.
Atthatriver,youmustpartcompanyandleavethesoulof
yourbrotherorsisterinthehandsofJesuswhohastasted
deathforeveryone (Hebrews2:9)andwhowillcarryeach
soulsafelyintoHisownkingdom.Lookatdeathasbringing
youveryneartotheunseenworld,asifopeningadoorto
Heavenforyou,anditwillbeyourfaultifitiseveragain
closed.
Lookatdeathasteachingyouthemeaningofthewords:I
believeintheHolyCatholicChurch,thecommunionofsaints,
theforgivenessofsins,theresurrectionofthebody,andthe
lifeeverlasting85".
THEEND
85
fromTheCreed
261
262
THEORDERFORTHEVISITATIONOFTHESICK
PriscillaMauricebasedmanyofherteachingsandob
servationsonthisService.Thisversionistakenfrom
1662BookofCommonPrayerandisnotmodernised
sothattheseriousnessoftheoriginallanguageshould
speakforitself.
Whenanypersonissick,noticeshallbegiventhereoftothe
Minister of the Parish who, coming into the sick person's
house,shallsay,
Peacebetothishouse,andtoallthatdwellinit.
Whenhecomethintothesickperson'spresenceheshallsay,
kneelingdown,
Remembernot,Lord,ouriniquities,northeiniquitiesofour
forefathers.Spareus,goodLord,sparethypeople,whom
thouhastredeemedwiththymostpreciousblood,andbe
notangrywithusforever.
Answer.Spareus,goodLord.
ThentheMinistershallsay,
Letuspray.Lord,havemercyuponus.Christ,havemercy
uponus.Lord,havemercyuponus.
OurFather,whichart inheaven, Hallowedbe thy Name.
Thykingdomcome.Thywillbedone inearth,asitisin
heaven.Giveusthisdayourdailybread.Andforgiveusour
trespasses,Asweforgivethemthattrespassagainstus.And
leadusnotintotemptation;Butdeliverusfromevil.Amen.
Minister.0Lord,savethyservant
Answer.Whichputtethhistrustinthee.
Minister.Sendhimhelpfromthyholyplace
Answer.Andevermoremightilydefendhim.
Minister.Lettheenemyhavenoadvantageofhim;
263
Answer.Northewickedapproachtohurthim.
Minister.Beuntohim,0Lord,astrongtower.
Answer.Fromthefaceofhisenemy.
Minister.0Lord,hearourprayers.
Answer.Andletourcrycomeuntothee.
Minister.OLord, lookdownfromheaven,behold, visit,
andrelievethis,thyservant.Lookuponhimwiththeeyesof
thymercy,givehimcomfortandsureconfidence inthee,
defendhimfromthedangeroftheenemy,andkeephimin
perpetualpeaceandsafety;throughJesusChristourLord.
Amen.
Hearus,AlmightyandmostmercifulGodandSaviour;ex
tend thy accustomed goodness to this thy servant who is
grieved with sickness. Sanctify, we beseech thee, this thy
fatherlycorrectiontohim;thatthesenseofhisweakness
mayaddstrengthtohisfaith,andseriousnesstohisrepent
ance.That,ifitshallbethygoodpleasuretorestorehimto
hisformerhealth,hemayleadtheresidueofhislifeinthy
fearandtothyglory:orelse,givehimgracesototakethy
visitation,that,afterthispainfullifeended,hemaydwell
withtheeinlifeeverlasting;throughJesusChristourLord.
Amen.
Then shall the Minister exhort the sick person after this
form,orotherlike.
Dearlybeloved,knowthis,thatAlmightyGodistheLordof
life and death, and of all things to them pertaining, as
youth,strength,health,age,weakness,andsickness.Where
fore,whatsoeveryoursicknessis,knowyoucertainly,thatit
isGod'svisitation.Andforwhatcausesoeverthissicknessis
sentuntoyou;whetheritbetotryyourpatiencefortheex
ampleofothers,andthatyourfaithmaybefoundintheday
oftheLordlaudable,glorious,andhonourable,tothein
creaseofgloryandendlessfelicity;orelseitbesentunto
264
youtocorrectandamendinyouwhatsoeverdothoffendthe
eyesofyourheavenlyFather;knowyoucertainly,thatifyou
truly repent you of your sins, and bear your sickness pa
tiently, trusting in God's mercy, for his dear Son Jesus
Christ'ssake, and render unto him humble thanks for his
fatherlyvisitation,submittingyourselfwhollyuntohiswill,
itshallturntoyourprofit,andhelpyouforwardintheright
waythatleadethuntoeverlastinglife.
Ifthepersonvisitedbeverysick,thentheCuratemayendhis
exhortationinthisplace,orelseproceed.
TakethereforeingoodpartthechastisementoftheLord:
For (as Saint Paul saith in the twelfth Chapter to the
Hebrews)whomtheLordlovethhechasteneth,andscour
getheverysonwhomhereceiveth.Ifyeendurechastening,
Goddealethwithyouaswithsons;forwhatsonishewhom
the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastise
ment,whereofallarepartakers,thenareyebastards,and
not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh,
whichcorrectedus,andwegavethemreverence:shallwe
notmuchratherbeinsubjectionuntotheFatherofspirits,
andlive?Fortheyverityforafewdayschastenedusafter
theirownpleasure;butheforourprofit,thatwemightbe
partakers of his holiness. These words, good brother, are
written in holy Scripture for our comfort and instruction;
thatweshouldpatiently,andwiththanksgiving,bearour
heavenlyFather'scorrection,whensoeverbyanymannerof
adversity it shall please his gracious goodness to visit us.
AndthereshouldbenogreatercomforttoChristianpersons,
thantobemadelikeuntoChrist,bysufferingpatientlyad
versities,troubles,andsicknesses.Forhehimselfwentnot
uptojoy,butfirsthesufferedpain;heenterednotintohis
glorybeforehewascrucified.Sotrulyourwaytoeternaljoy
is to suffer here with Christ; and our door to enter into
eternal life is gladly to die with Christ; that we may rise
again from death, and dwell with him in everlasting life.
Nowtherefore,takingyoursickness,whichisthusprofitable
265
foryou,patiently,Iexhortyou,intheNameofGod,tore
membertheprofessionwhichyoumadeuntoGodinyour
Baptism.Andforasmuchasafterthislifethereisanaccount
tobegivenuntotherighteousjudge,bywhomallmustbe
judged,withoutrespectofpersons,Irequireyoutoexamine
yourselfandyourestate,bothtowardGodandman;sothat,
accusingandcondemningyourselfforyourownfaults,you
mayfindmercyatourheavenlyFather'shandfor Christ's
sake, and not be accused and condemned in that fearful
judgement.ThereforeIshallrehearsetoyoutheArticlesof
ourFaith,thatyoumayknowwhetheryoudobelieveasa
Christianmanshould,orno.
HeretheMinistershallrehearsetheArticlesoftheFaith,say
ingthus,
Dost thou believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of
heavenandearth?AndinJesusChristhisonlybegottenSon
ourLord? Andthathewasconceived bytheHoly Ghost,
bornoftheVirginMary;thathesufferedunderPontiusPil
ate,wascrucified,dead,andburied;thathewentdowninto
hell,andalsodidriseagainthethirdday;thatheascended
intoheaven,andsittethattherighthandofGodtheFather
Almighty; andfromthenceshall comeagainattheendof
theworld,tojudgethequickandthedead?Anddostthou
believeintheHolyGhost;theholyCatholickChurch;the
CommunionofSaints;theRemissionofsins;theResurrec
tionoftheflesh;andeverlastinglifeafterdeath?
Thesickpersonshallanswer,AllthisIsteadfastlybelieve.
Then shall the Minister examine whether he repent him
trulyofhissins,andbeincharitywithalltheworld;exhort
inghimtoforgive,fromthebottomofhisheart,allpersons
thathaveoffendedhim;andifhehathoffendedanyother,
toaskthemforgiveness;andwherehehathdoneinjuryor
wrongtoanyman,thathemakeamendstotheuttermostof
hispower.Andifhehavenotbeforedisposedofhisgoods,
lethimthenbeadmonishedtomakehisWill,andtodeclare
266
hisdebts,whatheoweth,andwhatisowinguntohim;for
thebetterdischargingofhisconscience,andthequietnessof
hisExecutors.Butmenshouldoftenbeputinremembrance
totakeorderforthesettlingoftheirtemporalestates,whilst
theyareinhealth.
ThesewordsbeforerehearsedmaybesaidbeforetheMinis
ter begin his Prayer, as he shall see cause. The Minister
shouldnotomitearnestlytomovesuchsickpersonsasare
ofabilitytobeliberaltothepoor.
Hereshallthesickpersonbemovedtomakeaspecialcon
fessionofhissins,ifhefeelhisconsciencetroubledwithany
weightymatter.Afterwhichconfession,thePriestshallab
solvehim(ifhehumblyandheartilydesireit)afterthissort.
OURLordJesusChrist,whohathleftpowertohisChurchto
absolveallsinnerswhotrulyrepentandbelieveinhim,of
hisgreatmercyforgivetheethineoffences:Andbyhisau
thoritycommittedtome,Iabsolvetheefromallthysins,In
theNameoftheFather,andoftheSon,andoftheHoly
Ghost.Amen.
AndthenthePriestshallsaytheCollectfollowing.
Let uspray. O most merciful God, who, according tothe
multitudeofthymercies,dostsoputawaythesinsofthose
who truly repent, that thou rememberest them no more:
Openthineeyeofmercyuponthisthyservant,whomost
earnestly desireth pardon and forgiveness. Renew in him,
mostlovingFather,whatsoeverhathbeendecayedbythe
fraudandmaliceofthedevil,orbyhisowncarnalwilland
frailness; preserve and continue this sick member in the
unityoftheChurch;considerhiscontrition,accepthistears,
assuagehispain,asshallseemtotheemostexpedientfor
him.Andforasmuchasheputtethhisfulltrustonlyinthy
mercy,imputenotuntohimhisformersins,butstrengthen
himwiththyblessedSpirit;and,whenthouartpleasedto
takehimhence,takehimuntothyfavour,throughthemer
267
itsofthymostdearlybeloved SonJesusChrist ourLord.

Amen.
ThenshalltheMinistersaythisPsalms71.
Inthee,0Lord,haveIputmytrust:letmeneverbeputto
confusion:butridme,anddelivermeinthyrighteousness;
inclinethineearuntome,andsaveme.
Bethoumystronghold,whereuntoImayalwaysresort:
thouhastpromisedtohelpme;forthouartmyhouseofde
fence,andmycastle.
Deliverme,0myGod,outofthehandoftheungodly:out
ofthehandoftheunrighteousandcruelman.
Forthou,0LordGod,artthethingthatIlongfor:thouart
myhope,evenfrommyyouth.
ThroughtheehaveIbeenholdenupeversinceIwasborn:
thou art he that took me out of my mother's womb; my
praiseshallalwaybeofthee.Iambecomeasitwereamon
steruntomany:butmysuretrustisinthee.
0letmymouthbefilledwiththypraise:thatImaysing
ofthygloryandhonourallthedaylong.
Castmenotawayinthetimeofage:forsakemenot
whenmystrengthfailethme.
Formineenemiesspeakagainstme,andtheythatlaywait
formysoultaketheircounseltogether,saying:Godhath
forsakenhim,persecutehim,andtakehim;forthereisnone
todeliverhim.
Gonotfarfromme,0God:myGod,hastetheetohelp
me.
Letthembeconfoundedandperishthatareagainstmy
soul:letthembecoveredwithshameanddishonourthat
seektodomeevil.
Asforme,Iwillpatientlyabidealway:andwillpraisethee
moreandmore.
268
Mymouthshalldailyspeakofthyrighteousnessandsalva
tion:forIknownoendthereof.
IwillgoforthinthestrengthoftheLordGod:andwill
makementionofthyrighteousnessonly.
Thou,0God,hasttaughtmefrommyyouthupuntilnow:
thereforewillItellofthywondrousworks.
Forsakemenot,0God,inmineoldage,whenIamgray
headed:untilIhaveshewedthystrengthuntothisgenera
tion,andthypowertoallthemthatareyetfortocome.
Thyrighteousness,0God,isveryhigh,andgreatthings
aretheythatthouhastdone:0God,whoislikeuntothee?
GlorybetotheFatherandtotheSon:andtotheHoly
Ghost;
Asitwasinthebeginning,isnow,andevershallbe:world
withoutend.Amen.
Addingthis.
OSaviouroftheworld,whobythyCrossandprecious
Bloodhastredeemedus,Saveus,andhelpus,wehumbly
beseechthee,0Lord.
ThenshalltheMinistersay,
TheAlmightyLord,whoisamoststrongtowertoallthem
thatputtheirtrustinhim,towhomallthingsinheaven,in
earth,andundertheearth,dobowandobey,benowand
evermorethydefence;andmaketheeknowandfeel,that
thereisnoneotherNameunderheavengiventoman,in
whom,andthroughwhom,thoumayestreceivehealthand
salvation, but only the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Andafterthatshallsay,
UNTOGod'sgraciousmercyandprotectionwecommitthee.
TheLordblessthee,andkeepthee.TheLordmakehisface
toshineuponthee,andbegraciousuntothee.TheLordlift
269
up hiscountenance uponthee, andgive thee peace,both

nowandevermore.Amen.
APrayerforasickChild
OAlmightyGod,andmercifulFather,towhomalonebelong
theissuesoflifeand death:Look downfromheaven,we
humblybeseechthee,withtheeyesofmercyuponthischild
nowlyinguponthebedofsickness:Visithim,0Lord,with
thysalvation;deliverhiminthygoodappointedtimefrom
hisbodilypain,andsavehissoulforthymercies'sake:That,
ifitshallbethypleasuretoprolonghisdayshereonearth,
hemaylivetothee,andbeaninstrumentofthyglory,by
servingtheefaithfully,anddoinggoodinhisgeneration;or
elsereceivehimintothoseheavenlyhabitations,wherethe
soulsofthemthatsleepintheLordJesusenjoyperpetual
restandfelicity.Grantthis,0Lord,forthymercies'sake,in
the same thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ, who liveth and
reignethwiththeeandtheHolyGhost,everoneGod,world
withoutend.Amen.
APrayerforasickperson,whenthereappearethsmall
hopeofrecovery.
OFatherofmercies,andGodofallcomfort,ouronlyhelpin
timeofneed:weflyuntotheeforsuccourinbehalfofthis
thyservant,herelyingunderthyhandingreatweaknessof
body.Lookgraciouslyuponhim,0Lord;andthemorethe
outwardmandecayeth,strengthenhim,webeseechthee,so
muchthemorecontinuallywiththygraceandHolySpiritin
theinnerman.Givehimunfeignedrepentanceforalltheer
rorsofhislifepast,andsteadfastfaithinthySonJesus;that
hissinsmaybedoneawaybythymercy,andhispardon
sealedinheaven,beforehegohence,andbenomoreseen.
270
We know, 0 Lord, that there is no word impossible with

thee;andthat,ifthouwilt,thoucanstevenyetraisehimup,
andgranthimalongercontinuanceamongstus:Yet,for
asmuch as in all appearance the time of his dissolution
draweth near, so fit and prepare him, we beseech thee,
againstthehourofdeath,thatafterhisdeparturehencein
peace,andinthyfavour,hissoulmaybereceivedintothine
everlastingkingdom,throughthemeritsandmediationof
JesusChrist,thineonlySon,ourLordandSaviour.Amen.
AcommendatoryPrayerforasickpersonatthepointof
departure
OAlmightyGod,withwhomdolivethespiritsofjustmen
made perfect, after they are delivered from their earthly
prisons:Wehumblycommendthesoulofthisthyservant,
our dear brother, into thy hands, as into the hands of a
faithful Creator, and most merciful Saviour; most humbly
beseechingthee,thatitmaybepreciousinthysight.Wash
it,wepraythee,inthebloodofthatimmaculateLamb,that
wasslaintotakeawaythesinsoftheworld;thatwhatso
everdefilementsitmayhavecontractedinthemidstofthis
miserableandnaughtyworld,throughthelustsoftheflesh,
orthewilesofSatan,beingpurgedanddoneaway,itmay
bepresentedpureandwithoutspotbeforethee.Andteach
us who survive, in this and other like daily spectacles of
mortality,toseehowfrailanduncertainourowncondition
is;andsotonumberourdays,thatwemayseriouslyapply
ourheartstothatholyandheavenlywisdom,whilstwelive
here, which may in the end bring us to life everlasting,
throughthemeritsofJesusChristthineonlySonourLord.
Amen.
271
APrayerforpersonstroubledinmindorinconscience
OBlessedLord,theFatherofmercies,andtheGodofall
comforts:Webeseechthee,tookdowninpityandcompas
sion upon this thy afflicted servant. Thou writest bitter
thingsagainsthim,andmakesthimtopossesshisformer
iniquities;thywrathliethharduponhim,andhissoulisfull
oftrouble:But,0mercifulGod,whohastwrittenthyholy
Wordforourlearning,thatwe,throughpatienceandcom
fort of thy holy Scriptures, might have hope; give him a
rightunderstandingofhimself,andofthythreatsandprom
ises;thathemayneithercastawayhisconfidenceinthee,
norplaceitanywherebutinthee.Givehimstrengthagainst
allhistemptations,andhealallhisdistempers.
Breaknot thebruisedreed,norquenchthesmokingflax.
Shutnotupthytendermerciesindispleasure;butmakehim
tohearofjoyandgladness,thattheboneswhichthouhast
brokenmayrejoice.Deliverhimfromfearoftheenemy,and
liftupthelightofthycountenanceuponhim,andgivehim
peace,throughthemeritsandmediationofJesusChristour
Lord.Amen.
TheCommunionoftheSick
Forasmuchasallmortalmenbesubjecttomanysudden
perils, diseases, and sicknesses, and ever uncertain what
timetheyshalldepartoutofthislife;therefore,totheintent
they may always be in a readiness to die, whensoever it
shallpleaseAlmightyGodtocallthem,theCuratesshalldi
ligentlyfromtimetotime(butespeciallyinthetimeofpes
tilence,orotherinfectioussickness)exhorttheirParishion
ers to the often receiving of the holy Communion of the
BodyandBloodofourSaviourChrist,whenitshallbepub
licklyministeredintheChurch;thatsodoing,theymay,in
case of sudden visitation, have the less cause to be dis
272
quietedforlackofthesame.Butifthesickpersonbenot
abletocometotheChurch,andyetisdesiroustoreceive
theCommunioninhishouse;thenhemustgivetimelyno
tice to theCurate, signifying alsohow many there are to
communicatewithhim,(whichshallbethree,ortwoatthe
least,) and having a convenient place in the sick man's
house,withallthingsnecessarysoprepared,thattheCurate
may reverently minister, heshall there celebrate the holy
Communion,beginningwiththeCollect,Epistle,andGos
pel,herefollowing.
TheCollect
Almighty,everlivingGod,Makerofmankind,whodostcor
rect those whom thou dost love, and chastise every one
whom thou dost receive: Webeseech thee to have mercy
uponthisthyservantvisitedwiththinehand,andtogrant
that hemaytake his sickness patiently, and re cover his
bodilyhealth,(ifitbethygraciouswill;)andwhensoever
hissoulshalldepartfromthebody,itmaybewithoutspot
presenteduntothee;throughJesusChristourLord.Amen.
TheEpistle.Heb12.5.
My son,despisenotthouthechastening oftheLord,nor
faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord
lovethhechasteneth;andscourgetheverysonwhomhere
ceiveth.
TheGospel.St.John5.24.
Verily,verilyIsayuntoyou,Hethathearethmyword,and
believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and
shallnotcomeintocondemnation;butispassedfromdeath
untolife.
AfterwhichthePriestshallproceedaccordingtotheformbe
foreprescribedfortheholyCommunion,beginningatthese
words[Yethatdotruly,&c.]
273
At the time of the distribution of the holy Sacrament, the

priest shall first receive the Communion himself, and after
ministeruntothemthatareappointedtocommunicatewith
thesick,andlastofalltothesickperson.
Butifaman,eitherbyreasonofextremityofsickness,orfor
wantofwarninginduetimetothecurate,orforlackofcom
panytoreceivewithhim,orbyanyotherjustimpediment,do
notreceivetheSacramentofChrist'sBodyandBlood,theCur
ateshallinstructhim,thatifhedotrulyrepenthimofhis
sins, and stedfastly believe that Jesus Christ both suffered
deathupontheCrossforhim,andshedhisBloodforhisre
demption,earnestlyrememberingthebenefitshehaththereby,
andgivinghimheartythankstherefore,hedotheatanddrink
the Body and Blood of our Saviour Christ profitably to his
Soul'shealth,althoughhedonotreceivetheSacramentwith
hismouth.
Whenthesickpersonisvisited,andreceiveththeholyCom
munionallatonetime,thenthePriest,formoreexpedition,
shallcutofftheformoftheVisitationatthePsalms[Inthee,
OLord,haveIputmytrust&c]andgostraighttotheCom
munion.
Inthetimeoftheplague,sweat,orsuchotherlikeconta
gioustimesofsicknessordiseases,whennoneoftheParish
orneighbourscanbegottentocommunicatewiththesickin
theirhouses,forfearoftheinfection,uponspecialrequest
ofthediseased,theMinistermayonly communicate with
him.
274

Sickness: Its Trials and Blessings, by Priscilla Morris

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Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

When I first read Priscilla's book, I was myself struggling

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

my extreme experience of marginalization was shared by

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

a) broken up long sentences and paragraphs, to support

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

about human psychology and Scripture, which is a great

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

that part of her condition involved severe digestive prob

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

At the moment, you cannot "look on the light when it is

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

ing; in the peculiar distress of irritability and impatience

All those diseases which deprive people of some

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

love and great submission. Ask yourself then, has He not

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

other, but they are bound together in bonds higher than

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

your creation and preservation. At times, sinfully, you

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings

neverbeen at rest, becauseit hasconstantly beenfeeling

Sickness: its Trials and Blessings