February 2010

Five tips
How not to get to stay
a date for sane if
Valentine's you're
Day single

Chocolate
Cinnamon
Rolls
Dar k
Chocolate
Tr uffles
Ea s y
Cher r y
Pink's
Cheesecake
Romantic
He a r t
Anime and
movie list
 3
How not to
get a date
by Scotty Grissom
4
Five tips for staying
sane if you're
single
by Scotty Grissom
6
Recipes
8
Play the Soundtrack
to Your Love Story
by Pink No Hime
9
Romantic Movie/Series
Picks
by Pink No Hime
11
The Tale of the
Dove and the Frog
by Sundri
all fake ads
by Scotty Grissom
How not to
get a date
Advice not to follow.
By Scotty Grissom
Call your prey by Scratch yourself
1 demeaning names.
It's not like you want
more than one
date, right?
6 constantly.
Your prey will take this
to mean you're
interested, even if you
just itch.
Pretend to be a celebrity.
2 Everyone likes
celebrities, right?
Just make sure you
choose one that your
prey has most likely
7 Constantly touch your
prey.
Those words of protest
and slaps are just
never heard of or at least playing hard to get.
seen a picture of.
Offer your phone Talk about how much
3 number before your prey
can protest.
Being overly aggressive
always works.
8 you hate animals.
This especially works
well if your prey belongs
to PETA.

Completely ignore Never ask your prey's

4 anything your prey has
to say.
You chose your prey for
looks, not intelligence.
9 name.
If you don't know your
prey's name, the easier it
will be to move on to
your next prey.
Endlessly brag.
5 Look for other prey
while your current prey
is busy.
It never hurts to have a
backup.
10 This shows that you
have high self esteem
and don't care what
anyone has to say.

3
 Five tips for staying
sane if you're

By Scotty Grissom
Single
ace it, Valentine's Day sucks if you're single. It's
mentioned on tv, in commercials, junkis sold in
pretty much all stores, and now even this magazine
has to bring up this sore issue.
As an apology for doing this, I've compiled a list of
5 things which will hopefully keep you from curling
up in a corner or throwing objects in a rage.

Food
Take comfort in some of your
favorite food. Eat pizza. Eat
lasagna. Whatever your favorite
is, live a little and have some.
There's always other days for
eating healthier.
Eat some dessert afterward if it
helps. Don't let anyone make
you feel guilty about it. Have
some ice cream or cake. Or even
make one of the recipes in this
magazine.
People
Avoid people who will make you
frustrated or angry. If you've been
invited to go somewhere with
any couples, politely refuse. If
there's someone who makes you
feel lonely, avoid that person for
this day. If seeing any couples at
all frustrates you, stay home and
enjoy a book or some other form
of entertainment that you enjoy.
You may even want to avoid social
networking sites for the day.

4
 TV/Movies
Watch a movie or previously
recorded tv. Avoid watching
live tv and definitely avoid
watching Valentine's Day
specials. Unless you enjoy
mocking them.
Watch something escapist. A
comedy perhaps. Whatever
lets your mind shut off the best.
Even watch Twilight or one of
the Transformers movies if it
helps.
Sleep
Make sure to get plenty of rest
the night before. The better
rested you are, the better you'll
be at handling the stress of the
day.
You can also try going to bed
early on Valentine's Day to
ensure less of it you have to
endure.

Laugh
If nothing suggested in this
article can provide you with
laughter, find something that
will. Maybe get some single
friends together and have an
anti-Valentine's Day Party.
Maybe rent a romantic comedy
and mock it with your friends. If
all your friends locally are busy,
maybe find some online
and watch a movie via Hulu or
Youtube and mock/discuss it via
Skype.
* I know that some of these are either obvious or
contradict others. Follow at your own risk.

5
 R e c i pe s
Easy Made (but not so great) Cherry
Cheesecake Heart
Thrown together by Scotty Grissom
1/2 package cream (8 oz)
1 envelope cherry Jello (or whatever
other brand you want)
Heart mold:
Aluminum foil
Saran wrap
Apple or something else roughly heart
shaped
Bring your water to a boil and pour into
a refrigerator safe container
and mix with Jello. Refrigerate for 15-
20 minutes.
Form a few layers of aluminum foil
around your apple (or even your fist)
and leave the top
open. Cover the inside with Saran wrap
and place your mold inside a bowl or
other
refrigerator safe container.
Remove your partially gelled Jello and
get your cream cheese. Combine the
two until
you have a consistant texture and color.
If you want a darker color, add red food
coloring.
Pour mixture into your mold and
refrigerate for 2-3 hours or until gelled
to a consistancy you're happy with.
6
Dark Chocolate Truffles:
Provided by Sundri
8oz chopped semisweet chocolate
4oz chopped unsweetened chocolate
2/3 cup heavy cream
2 tbsp sifted coco powder
2 tbsp sifted confectioner's sugar
Place chopped chocolate into a mixing
bowl.
Heat the cream in a saucepan until it
comes to a boil, then pour it over the
chopped chocolate and allow this to
stand for about 5 minutes. Stir mixture
until well blended and smooth. (This
mixture is Ganache.) Refrigerate for at
least 2 hours until firm enough to scoop
and hand roll.
Line a baking sheet with parchment
(wax) paper and using about 1 teaspoon
to 1 tablespoon for each truffle,
depending on how large you want them
to turn out, hand roll each truffle. Roll
half the finished truffles in coco
powder and the other half in
confectioner's sugar and place into
small candy paper cups (found in most
baking isles, like muffin cups but
smaller.)
Chocolate Cinnamon Rolls
Provided by Sundri
4 1/2 to 5 cups of all purpose flour
1 pkg active dry yeast
1 cup milk
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
Filling:
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/3 cup butter
1 cup semisweet chocolate pieces
1 tablespoon half-and-half or light
cream
Combine in a large mixing bowl 2 1/4
cups flour and the yeast.
In a saucepan heat milk, 1/3 cup butter,
granulated sugar, and salt until just
warmed and the butter is ALMOST
melting. Add mixture to the flour and
add in the eggs, then beat for about 3
minutes, scraping the edges of the bowl
and stirring in as much of the rest of the
flour as you can.
Turn the dough onto a lightly floured
surface and knead in enough remaining
flour to make a dough that is soft and
elastic (roughly 3 - 5 minutes.) Shape
into a ball and cover in a greased bowl
someplace warm for about 1 hour.
Dough should rise to about double its
size.
Punch down the dough and turn onto a
lightly floured surface. Divide in half
and cover for about 10 minutes.
Prepare & lightly grease two 9 x 1 1/2
inch round baking pans or 2 baking
sheets and set aside.
Filling: Stir together the brown sugar,
1/4 cup of flour, and cinnamon. Cut in
1/3 cup butter until the mixture is
crumbly.
Roll each half of the dough into a large
rectangle and sprinkle the filling evenly
over the dough. Sprinkle the chocolate
pieces evenly over the filling and then
roll each rectangle starting from the
long side. Seal the seams and slice each
roll into about 12 pieces, placing the
cut side down in pans or baking sheets.
Cover the dough loosely with plastic
wrap and make sure to leave room for
the rolls to rise a bit. Cover loosely and
allow the dough to rise until nearly
double again (or about 30 minutes.)
Then brush dough with light cream.
Bake at 375° for 20 - 25 minutes or
until light brown. (You may cover the
rolls for the last 5 to 10 minutes with
foil to prevent them from
overbrowning.)
Remove the rolls from the oven and
brush with cream and allow them to
cool for a minute before carefully
turning onto a wire rack. Cool them
slightly there and then turn back onto a
serving platter and drizzle with the
Vanilla Glaze. Best served warm and
fresh!
Vanilla glaze:
1 1/4 sifted confectioner's sugar
1 tsp light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 - 2 tablespoons light cream
(stir together ingredients with enough
cream to reach a light drizzling
consistency.)
7
 Play the Soundtrack
to Your Love Story This Valentine's Day, go ahead and
by Pink No Hime create the soundtrack to your love story.
Certain songs always make me Put in your playlist the songs that tell the
remember parts of my life. story of your love. Take the time to listen
Listening to the song brings to to the songs together and remember how
mind how I felt when I first heard great you felt when that song became
it...or of the particular mood I was important to your life. If you need a
in that made me want to play that starting point, may I suggest Time in
song. Bottle[6] by Jim Croce?
For those of us in For those of you who are not in a
relationships, there are songs that relationship and instead of Valentine's
signify the phases of that Day will be celebrating Singles Suicide
relationship. For example, when Day, there's always: They're Writing
we first started dating, my husband Songs of Love, But Not For Me[7].
and I listened to Change the
World[1] by Eric Clapton while -----------------------
driving to the movies. After we [1]
had dated for a while, they played http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGDIxc
Can't Take My Eyes Off of You[2] uPT7s
by Frankie Valli and the Four [2]
Seasons during a movie and we had http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGFTo
that song playing in our car/home iLtXro
for a while. When he bought me a [3]
ring, the song that came to mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK4peu
was I've Finally Found AODtc
Someone[3]by Barbara Streisand [4] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-
and Bryan Adams. At our wedding, idDbIfGvw
my brother-in-law sang Unchained [5] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-
Melody[4] by the Righteous qQcNT_fY
Brothers for us. Nowadays, the [6]
song we play is 100 Years to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ichO7g
Live[5] by Five For Fighting. AeOGE
[7]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYIp1
hVISkk

8
Romantic Movie/Series Picks
By Pink No Hime
While you're preparing for Valentine's
Day, whether it's buying gifts and cards or
making chocolate, here's some recommended
romantic picks to get you in the mood.
If you're pressed for time, these anime movies
are as sweet as candy:
. Magical Chocolate (A young girl struggles enemies?)
with giving chocolates to her crush.)
. Tokyo Marble Chocolate (A story about
falling in love, uniquely told from both the
girl's and the guy's point of view)
. Byousoku 5 cm (Love that exists no
matter the distance.)
. First Kiss (First love, first kiss, and all the English are:
upheavals that go with it.)
If you have time to watch an anime series, try same person!)
these:
. Marmalade Boy (Miki's new stepbrother
is extremely cute and popular, but he seems to
enjoy teasing her.)
. Ai Yori Aoshi (A formerly engaged couple love.)
struggle to be together.)
. Kare Kano (Can a girl give up her fake
image and be her real self with the guy who
likes her?)
. Nanatsuiro Drops (A mahou shoujo that
ends up falling for the guy who inhabits her
stuffed animal?!?)
. Hakushaku to Yousei (A mysterious Earl
pursues a beautiful Fairy Doctor...for what
purpose?)
. Nodame Cantabile (Yes, love is even
possible for those who inhabit the Weirdo
Forest.)
. Ouran High School Host Club (High
school bishounen who serve as hosts in their
club and foster romance in their ultra-rich
school.)
. Hana Yori Dango (A Cinderella story....if
Cinderella had the nerve to kick her boorish
prince in the face the first time she met him.)
Looking for a Asian movie with real-life
actors? These are my romantic picks:
. My Tutor Friend (K-movie - A timid
bookworm tutors a gangster who is 21 but
still stuck in high school.)
. Innocent Steps (K-Movie - Two people
who marry for practical reasons fall in love
while one teaches the other to dance.)
. A Wolf's Attraction (K-Movie - Can a girl
from the country really attract a city-living
guy who's surrounded by beauties?)
. My Lucky Star (C-Movie - Is this couple
destined from the previous life to be
. Look For a Star (C-Movie - A classic
Cinderella story...but I don't recall the prince
accusing Cinderella of being a gold-digger
before.)
My recommendations for romantic movies in
. 50 First Dates (What could be more
romantic than having 50 first dates...with the
. Notting Hill (The Cinderella story...in
reverse...with British humor added.)
. Bridget Jone's Diary (A girl who drinks
like a fish and smokes like a chimney finds
. Pretty Woman (..another Cinderella
story...only this time, Cinderella is a hooker
x.X)
. Ever After (My favorite retelling of the
classic Cinderella story...where Cinderella
rescues her prince...and herself!)
9
Choco Sugar Puff Flakes
Now with 500% more chocolate and sugar.
The Tale of the Dove and the Frog
art & story by Sundri

B y a sparkling pond in a quiet forest there lived a dove.

She was a gentle dove with soft eyes and a lovely voice
and she spent her days singing and preening and doing
doveish things. This dove loved to fly more than
anything else and each day she would sit by her pond
in the morning and sing until the sun rose. Then she
would fly as high as she could and try and touch its
golden light, though of course she could never reach it.
Now in this pond, unknown to the dove, there lived a
frog. He was a lovely frog as far as frogs go. He was a
perfect shade of slime green and very warty which was
just what a good frog ought to be. He loved to swim in
the cool dark waters among the bladderwort and sun-
dappled stones, but this frog was lonely for you see he
also loved the dove.
He would sit in the mornings upon a lily and listen
enraptured to the sound of her beautiful songs. Many
times he had wished to at least speak to her and once,
he had been so filled with joy at her voice that he had
tried to join in her song, but to his own ears his voice
in comparison to hers was nothing but a horrid
croaking and ever after he had chosen to remain silent.
He watched the graceful dove soar high in the skies
over the pond and adored her from a distance, knowing
of course that she would never love him in return for
he was just a warty frog and could not fly with her into
the sparkling air.
One day as the dove was bathing by the water’s edges
however, a terrible thing happened. A sly fox had seen
the dove flying and thought to himself, “What a
wonderful meal that fat dove would make for me. But
she is quick, so I must catch her unaware.”
The hungry fox waited patiently, following the
unsuspecting dove until she was at ease and distracted
by her bath. Then he began to creep silently closer
through the tall grasses, waiting for the moment he
could pounce and feast upon his chosen dinner.

11
Now the frog had been admiring the dove
as she splashed and preened while he sat
on a lily pad in the sun and warmed
himself. From his seat he could see the
fox approaching and he realized his
precious dove was in danger. To warn her
meant he would have to reveal himself
and he dreaded what the beautiful dove
would think of such a slimy warty frog as
he was. Still though, she did not seem to
sense the approaching danger and he
could not wait another moment.
“Dearest Dove! Fly! FLY!” He croaked at
her hoarsely, for remember he had chosen
to remain silent so his voice was not used
to being heard. It was a raspy croaking
that barely rose above the rustle of the
breeze, but such an unusual sound that
the dove did look up and wonder what it
had been.
The fox with his keen ears however, had
heard the frog’s warning much better than
the dove and he realized he must pounce
now or loose his dinner altogether. He
rushed forward but the dove having been
listening to hear the raspy sound of the
frog, heard him coming and in a panic too
late tried to take to the air.
The fox snapped at her wings as she
lifted to the sky and caught the edge of
one in his mouth, pulling her down to the
mud. She fought at him with her beak and
claws and by luck and chance bit him
hard enough on the nose that he let her
go. The dove scrambled away towards
the water, her torn wing unable to lift her
into the air again. The fox, sure of his
dinner now, rubbed his bleeding nose on
his paw and was slow to start after her.
This is the end of me, thought the dove.
12
Just then the frog sprang up from the
water and shouted, “Sweet Dove, I will
save you... but you must agree to marry
me! For only those of my family may I
carry safely into the depths.”
The dove cried out without so much as a
thought as the terrible fox approached,
“Yes, YES! Anything, only please save
me!” The frog gave a nod and then
snatched the dove up with his webby
feet and pulled her under the water and
out of the reach of the fox.
(Who by the way, was extremely
agitated to have had both his nose
pecked, and his dinner lost all in one
morning. Ever after he loathed frogs
more than ever.)
Down under the water the frog gently
carried the dove, with his front legs
holding her wings against her and his
strong back legs kicking them ever
further from the surface.
Am I to drown? The dove thought
mournfully as the chilly waters closed
around her and the light of the sun
became a green sparkle high above her.
Yet drown she did not, for the frog’s
magic was protecting her.
He carried her to his home beneath a
large stone, beautifully draped in slime
and bladderwort and lined with smooth
stones of beautiful colors.
“You are safe now,” he told her as he set
her on his bed of watermoss and leaves.
“The fiend will not reach you here.”
The dove sat quietly as the frog tenderly
her bleeding wing, and was surprised at
the softness of this strange creature’s
touch.
“Thank you, good frog.” She said quietly
when he was finished. “Without your
help I would surely have died today.” She
trembled at the memory of the tearing
teeth and wicked red mouth of the fox.
“For you, dearest dove,” said the frog
shyly as he backed away. “I would have
fought him myself if I could. But
remember your promise, for so long as
you remain here as my wife no harm will
ever come to you here beneath these
waters.”
The dove remembered her hasty
agreement, but could not now change her
mind. “I will remember...” She said softly
in reply, and then tucked her head
beneath her good wing to hide the tears
that came to her eyes. The exhaustion of
her trauma let sleep take her quickly.
When the dove awoke the frog was gone,
but there was a small pile of seeds and fat
red berries nearby that after a moment
she supposed must be for her. As the
water darkened when the sun left the sky
and its light was slowly replaced by the
silver shadows of moonlight the dove
wondered what would become of her. She
mourned to think that she would never
see the sky above her again.
She did not see the frog again that night
but in the morning there were more seeds
and berries nestled in two beautiful lilies
at her side. Once she had eaten these the
frog timidly returned from his own
breakfast and quietly changed the
bandage on the dove’s wing.
“I will carry you to see the sun if you
would like, dear dove.” He told her
upon inspecting her wound. “You will
not be able to fly again yet, but I would
not see you sad from longing for it... for
I know you dearly love the light.”
The dove was surprised by this, but
gladly agreed and the frog carried her up
and let her rest on a lily pad in the
deeper waters, far out of reach of any
sly fox. He left her there to rest and
preen though he always stayed close by
and out of sight to protect her.
As the days went by and dove’s wing
healed under the frog’s tender care, she
began to realize his attentiveness. He
remained quiet and unseen but when she
had need of food or tending he was at
her side in an instant. If the sun left
behind the clouds and it began to rain,
he plucked fat leaves from bushes to
hold the rain off of her until the sun
returned. If the wind grew chill he
would arrive with bundles of soft thistle-
down to warm her, and when night came
he would gently carry her down to the
bed among the bladderwort and tuck her
into a nest of flower petals.
At first the dove was shy, for she had
never had another creature treat her so
sweetly. But eventually she began to ask
him to stay and speak with her instead
of leaving so often and she longed for a
way to thank him for his kindness. The
frog was hesitant to stay in her company
for long, fearing his voice too hash for
her soft ears, but when she pleaded that
she was lonely he immediately agreed
for he could bear her no sorrow.
13
And so the weeks went by and the dove’s
wing healed. In that time she learned
much about the frog and began to love
the sound of his voice. She found that she
did not mind his gentle touch, and felt as
happy to see him each morning as she did
to see the sun.
When the dove was well enough to sing
again she begged the frog to accompany
her, and he, in horror of what he was sure
would follow agreed if only to please her.
In all of his talking to the dove to
entertain her however, the frog’s voice
had become rich and deep, and the dove
was pleased to discover that he knew all
of her favorite songs to sing. Their days
began to be filled with a beautiful chorus
shared between the two.
When the dove could finally stretch her
wings again the frog knew he would have
to loose his beautiful companion, for
much as he loved her, she belonged in the
air and he knew that despite her cheerful
face she longed for it more than ever.
“Your wing is well again...” the frog told
her one morning. “You may fly to the sun
if you choose.” He looked away to hide
his sorrow, but the dove now knowing
her dear frog better than this could feel it.
It was true, she did long for the air and
loathed the wet chill of the water but she
loved the frog and did not want to see
him sad.
“Then I will fly for a while...” she said,
and stretched her wings. “And then I will
return. For I made a promise to you, my
dear frog, and I will not forget it.”
The frog, though his heart soared at her
words, watched her as she blissfully flew
among the trees and was only the sadder,
for here was a place he could not join her
and yet did not wish to keep her away
from. The dove’s joy of the air however,
was short lived for she too missed the
company of her beloved frog whenever
the sky called her.
14
“This will not do.” The dove said at last.
“For the air calls to me until my heart
aches to be away from it, but you cannot
be with me when I fly.”
“But the water is cold to your touch,”
the frog replied mournfully. “And I
cannot leave its side for long or fear to
die...”
The dove thought for a long time on this
and then finally had a thought. “Perhaps
if we go to the spirits,” said she.
“Perhaps they will help us find a way.”
So the two traveled together to a place
deep in the forest where two twin stones
stood tall and proud, where there was
always a sort of light even in the darkest
hours before dawn. Together they
bowed and pleaded with the spirits of
the forest to give them hope that they
could be together without causing the
other suffering. Their pleas were so
earnest and their love for each other so
great that the spirits of the forest heard
their voices and came to see what could
be done.
“YOU MAY NOT BE TOGETHER IN
BOTH PLACES...” They told the
couple. “BUT IF YOU WOULD GIVE
OF YOURSELF IN EXCHNAGE,
THERE IS A WAY FOR YOU TO LIVE
AS ONE.”
The dove desperately offered the spirits be happy without the other. When they
her wings in exchange if only they would arose with the dawn they found that their
grant this one wish, for though the call of old forms had been taken from them. No
the air she could not resist, she longed longer would the dove fly among the trees
even more for the company of her dearest or the frog swim to the darkest depths but
love. they could now remain together forever
and walk the woods without fear or
The frog offered his great webs and water loneliness.
magics in exchange, for though he loved
the water’s depths he could not see his And so the great stag and gentle doe
precious dove suffer from the cold and returned each year to sleep at the feet of
misery of an underwater life and wanted the stones and renew their thanks for the
always to be with her. gift of each other, and vowed always to
remember how precious their love was to
“SLEEP HERE TONIGHT.” The spirits them as they walked the Forest as deer.
told the two, “FOR IT IS A GREAT
THING YOU CHOOSE TO GIVE UP. IF
BY THE MORNING YOU STILL WISH
THIS TO BE SO, YOUR SACRIFICE
WILL BE ACCEPTED.”
The dove and the frog made a nest among
the cool ferns and held each other close
until the morning came. Their hearts did
not waver, for each knew they could never

14 15
Love Potion # 764

We haven't stopped trying.

Why should you?

* This isn't a real ad.