T H E R E S P E C T E D S O U R C E F O R G L B T N E W S S I N C E J U N E 1 9 9 0

LETTER
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
W VOLUME 21, ISSUE 2 • FEBRUARY 2010

State of the Union Address

Bodes Well For Military Equality
Servicemembers United, the largest organization of gay
and lesbian troops and veterans and their allies, lauded
the President’s historic remarks regarding the “Don’t
Ask, Don’t Tell” law in last month’s State of the Union
address.
“President Obama stepped up to the plate and made
a firm commitment to work to finally end ‘Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell’ in 2010,” said Alexander Nicholson, founder
and Executive Director of Servicemembers United.
“Although brief, his language was plain, his message
was clear, and the outline of his strategy was smart. This
effort will indeed be a challenge for our community, Some of the nearly 100 participants of the Statewide Fairness Summit gathered for
and the resistance of those who support discrimination this picture, provided by Louisville’s Fairness Campaign. The event, held at Paul
in our armed forces should not be underestimated. But
Sawyier Public Library in Frankfort on Saturday, January 16, included participants
one thing is now clear – a full assault on this failed law is
from all corners of the Commonwealth. Sponsored by the five organizations that
under way by those who recognize that discrimination is
not an American value.” make up the Kentucky Fairness Coalition, the Summit sought input to help develop
President Obama also indicated that the Pentagon strategy to strengthen the effort to pass a statewide anti-discrimination law. The
would play a key role in working out an agreement to legislation was pre-filed in the House this session by Louisville Representative Mary
achieve full repeal. Rear Admiral (Ret.) Alan Steinman, Lou Marzian. The Coalition was recently awarded a $30,000 grant to promote equality
(See MILITARY EQUALITY, continued on pg 4) around the Commonwealth. You’ll find more information on the grant on page five.

Indiana: Legislature Should Fix Economy, Not Endorse Discrimination

The future of Indiana’s economic
health and viability is the most important
issue facing all Indiana families, declared
leaders and allies of Indiana’s gay and
transgender communities in a press
conference while the Indiana Senate
contemplates the adoption of a marriage
discrimination amendment to Indiana’s
constitution.
“We are greatly disappointed that
some members of the General Assembly
have decided to endorse an amendment
that would forever write discrimination
into the Indiana Constitution,” stated
Don Sherfick of Indiana Equality Action.
“Indiana is facing a crippling recession,
high unemployment, diminishing
job prospects, a significant budget
deficit and serious threats to Indiana’s
public education system and social
services programs. A discriminatory
constitutional amendment appears to
be nothing more than a highly divisive
political ploy, distracting Indiana from
focusing on our state’s real problems.”
Sherfick observed that Senate Joint
Resolution 13 would, for the first
time, use an amendment to Indiana’s
Constitution as a tool of exclusion. The
(See LEGISLATURE, continued on pg 4)
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SEEKING LOVING HOME FOR DANNY

Danny is a handsome red coated boy of probable Chow-mix origins. He is about 5+ years old.
He has a self assured attitude, posing at any given moment. Danny is looking for a home where he
is the only dog. We are looking for a permanent, loving, safe and secure home for this incredible
guy.
Danny has been neutered and is up to date with all of his shots. He is house trained and is an
indoor dog. He enjoys being outside on comfortable days. He is frightened by big thunder storms
and fireworks. He does well if he is inside at those times with a loving owner.
Danny has too many brothers and sisters in his present home and wants a home of his own
more than anything in the world. Whenever he gets special one-on-one time he is joyous.
The ideal home for Danny would be that of settled couple or individual. We have too many
rescue dogs right now and Danny has shown the stress with other dogs in the past and has never
been around small children. The ideal adoptive owner(s) would care for Danny as a loved family
member. HighlandChiropractic.com
For more information call Sandy at (502) 552-0442 or (502) 749-7420.

2 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010

FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 3

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REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS
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MARCH 2010 DEADLINES
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All items should be sent to
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4 THE LETTER
East Tennessee: Sex Sting Case Prompts
New Police Policy
On January 25, Lambda Legal
announced the resolution of a lawsuit
against the Johnson City Police
Department (JCPD) in Tennessee on
behalf of Kenneth Giles, one of 40 men
arrested in a public sex sting, whose
photos were made available to the
media, contrary to the Department's
usual practices.
Johnson City Police Chief John
Lowry stated that the JCPD's media
efforts related to the sting operation
were merely meant to dissuade others
from illegal conduct. While denying
any discriminatory motive, Lowry
admitted that both the JCPD and
Johnson City as a whole would be best
served by the Department's adopting a
nondiscrimination policy that conforms
to the guarantees of equal protection
in the U.S. Constitution, and that the
Department's media policy should be
updated to address the release of arrestee
photographs.
Immediately following the 2007
sex sting, the Johnson City Police
Department released photos of the
suspects and other personal information
to the media. The local news then ran
the story prominently along with the
pictures and addresses of the men
involved. Lambda Legal filed a federal
lawsuit the following year, arguing
that the JCPD violated federal equal
protection law by singling out these men
for harsher treatment by making their
images available to the media.
A review of the police department's
press releases for over a period of a year
revealed that of approximately 600 other
releases, none pertaining to arrests was
accompanied by photos or personally
approved by the chief. Of the 40 arrested,
one man committed suicide and several
MILITARY EQUALITY, cont’d from pg 1
a member of Servicemembers United’s
Defense Policy Council, remarked, “We
need the senior military leadership to
be on board with the repeal plan. They
will be key to securing the votes we
need in Congress, and to the successful
transition to a post-DADT military.”
The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law
was passed by Congress in 1993. It
is widely expected that repeal of the
law will come as part of the defense
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
Greg Nevins
others lost their jobs, including Giles.
As part of the resolution, Chief
Lowry announced a program to train
JCPD officers on all new policies and
to recognize and avoid conduct that
would violate the U.S. Constitution's
equal protection guarantee. The training
will also be aimed at improving the
interactions between the JCPD and
members of minority groups, including
but not limited to persons whose sexual
orientation is other than heterosexual,
while the officers carry out their duties
in the community.
Lambda Legal Supervising Senior
Staff Attorney Greg Nevins says that
these actions "will not only help avoid
future disputes like this one, but also lay
the groundwork for improved relations
between the police department and the
LGBT community in Johnson City."
Lambda Legal is a national
organization pursuing litigation, public
education and advocacy on behalf of
equality and civil rights for lesbians, gay
men, bisexuals, transgender people and
people with HIV.
authorization (budget) process this year.
Senator Carl Levin (D-MI), Chairman of
the Senate Armed Services Committee,
has announced a series of hearings in
February at which, most notably, the
Secretary of Defense and the Chairman
of the Joint Chiefs will be called to testify
on the issue.
For more information about
Servicemembers United and the “Don’t
Ask, Don’t Tell” issue, please visit www.
servicemembersunited.org.
LEGISLATURE, cont’d from pg 1
effect of this amendment is far-
reaching, threatening the access of
unmarried couples to benefits such
as inheritance rights, health care
benefits and other legal protections
for their families.
“Hoosiers across the state are
already suffering from a battered
economy. Our elected legislators
should concern themselves with
solutions to get people back to
work and not passing legislation
that would dampen Indiana’s
recovery from the current
recession” commented Josephine
Hughes speaking on behalf of
the National Association of Social
Workers. Explaining that any
distraction from the state’s stark
economic situation is damaging to
Hoosier families, Hughes continued
“Instead of offering solutions to
the real problems Indiana families
are facing, proponents of Senate
Joint Resolution 13 are taking time
on an unnecessary and damaging
amendment to our Constitution,
infringing on people’s human
dignity.”
The Executive Director of the
Libertarian Party of Indiana, Chris
Spangle, urged Hoosiers across the
state to join in voicing opposition
to the Marriage Discrimination
Amendment. “This is election
year politics at its worst. Hoosiers
demand real leadership from their
elected officials, especially when so
many struggle during these tough
economic times.”
“Equality and fairness are Hoosier
values” noted the Rev. Kevin
Armstrong, a respected United
Methodist pastor and representative
of the Interfaith Coalition on Non-
Discrimination. “Discrimination of
any kind should not be tolerated
and certainly has no place in our
state’s Constitution.”
Indiana Equality Action (IE
Action) is a coalition of statewide
and regional organizations focusing
on amending Indiana’s Civil Rights
law to protect against discrimination
based on either sexual orientation
or gender identity, securing bias
crimes protections, and keeping
Indiana's Marriage Discrimination
Amendment at bay. IE Action is the
lobbying and advocacy counterpart
to Indiana Equality. To become
informed and involved in the fight
for equality within the Hoosier state,
visit www.indianaequalityaction.
org or call (888) 567-0750.
FEBRUARY 2010
Kentucky Fairness Coalition Awarded
$30,000 Grant
The Tides Foundation’s State Equality
Fund, a philanthropic partnership that
includes the Evelyn and Walter Haas,
Jr. Fund, the Gill Foundation, and
anonymous donors, has awarded the
Kentucky Statewide Fairness Coalition
$30,000 to promote GLBT equality
throughout the Commonwealth.
The coalition includes the Kentucky
Fairness Alliance, Louisville’s Fairness
Campaign, the American Civil Liberties
Union of Kentucky, Lexington Fairness,
and the Kentucky Commission on
Human Rights. The grant application
process began last summer.
According to Toni Broaddus,
Executive Director of the Equality
Tennessee: “Don't Say Gay” Bills Deferred
by Joe Morris (Out & About Newspaper)
In a move seen as a small, but
important, victory for the GLBT
community, members of the Tennessee
General Assembly’s House Education
subcommittee have referred two bills
that would ban the teaching of any other
sexuality other than heterosexuality to
another subcommittee.
By kicking the bills, HB0821 and
HB0812, sponsored by Rep. Stacey
Campfield (R-Knoxville) to the Senate
General Subcommittee, the house group
consigned them to an uncertain fate,
at least for now. While a vote to defeat
them would have been preferred, this
move is seen as a positive, said Chris
Sanders, chair of the Tennessee Equality
Project (TEP), which has been mounting
an online campaign to stop the bills in
advance of today’s committee meeting.
“They’re basically not moving now,
so that’s good news,” Sanders said. “By
moving them to the senate, the house
has decided not to act on the issue and
that’s a victory.”
FEBRUARY 2010
Federation, the monies will be used to
“assist the Coalition in advancing their
work around non-discrimination and
parenting rights of LGBT Kentuckians.”
The Equality Federation is an association
of state-based advocacy organizations,
working to achieve equality by building
strong statewide coalitions throughout
the nation.
The Kentucky Fairness Coalition has
scheduled its 2010 Statewide Fairness
Lobby Day and Rally in Frankfort for
Wednesday, February 24. For more
information about this important
legislative event, write kyle@fairness.
org.
Investment Opportunity
Gay Owned & Operated Campground
Near Great Smokey Mountains State Park
A gentleman with money to invest is looking for a business
As written, the bills would strip the partner to be a co-owner of a gay owned and operated
state Department of Education and local campground located near the Great Smokey Mountain
education officials of the authority to State Park in Tennessee. The prospective partner must have
choose curriculum. Of particular concern
significant resources to help start this business (ownership
to TEP members was HB0821, which
would ban the teaching of furnishing of property near the park would be a big plus). For more
of materials on any sexuality other than information write deiimago@insightbb.com.
heterosexuality in grades K-8.
As of January 27, more than 325 people
had contacted members of the House
subcommittee to express their opinion
on the bills, a move facilitated by contact
information and access to legislators
provided at TEP’s web site and through
blast e-mails in recent days. That kind
of response made a difference, Sanders
said.
“We had a lot of people make sure
they were heard on this, and this was the
result,” he said. “This may not look like
much, but this is a very good outcome
for us.”
(Copyright 2010, Out & About
Newspaper. All rights reserved. Reprinted
with permission.)
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 5
 "Puppy Love" Theme For Valentine's Dance
Bring your sweet-
heart, a friend, or
just come alone to a
fun-filled, chemical-
free, Valentine’s Day
Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays Dance at Metropolitan
Coming out? Don’t face it alone! Community Church
of Louisville, 1432
PFLAG is for more than just for parents, Highland Avenue. This
families and friends. We’re also here for you! popular annual event
takes place on Saturday,
SUPPORT EDUCATION ADVOCACY February 13, from
7:00 - 10:00pm. Get all
We meet the Third Sunday of the month at 3:00pm at dressed up or just dress
First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. casual -- your choice.
Use the west entrance closest to the alley. There will be re-
freshments, a variety
Questions? Leave a confidential message and of music for dancing
one of our members will return your call. and a silent auction.
(502) 329-0229. Admission is a donation
in any amount, payable
at the door.
For more information
call (502) 587-6225.

Deadline Extended: Search Continues For KPF

Logo
The Kentuckiana Pride Festival (KPF)
has extended its search for this year's
logo until the third Wednesday of
February. This year's KPF observes its
10th anniversary.
Submissions should reflect the
2010 theme of "People Respecting
Inclusiveness, Diversity & Equality"
(P.R.I.D.E.).
Artwork must be submitted in digital
format and is requested to be saved in
both jpg and eps formats. The winning
logo will be used widely in print and
imprinted on shirts. All entries submitted
become property of the Kentuckiana
Pride Foundation.
Entries must be submitted via e-mail
to: director@kentuckianapridefestival.
com no later than 5:00pm (Eastern)
Wednesday, February 17.

Women’s Website, Social Network Re-Grouping

Fleur de Lez, a Kentuckiana-
based social group for lesbians
and their friends, is in the
process of reorganizing
itself and branching out into
some new directions as 2010
begins.
The group’s website, www.
fleurdelez.com, seeks individuals
to contribute blog content. The goal is to
make their website a clearing house of
information for queer women and their
supporters.
The group is hoping to
expand its social offerings
from the bar scene by offering
a greater variety of activities.
Specifically, group organizers
would like to sponsor a book
club, movie club and other
special-focus groups in the future.
For more information or to get
involved, contact Scheri: scheri@
fleurdelez.com

A Tuscan Café in Old Louisville is the focus of

Beth Ann Rubin's DINING OUT column that
appears, along with a mouth-watering picture
of Spaghetti with Meatballs, on page 18.

6 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010

Fundraising Gala Will Benefit Pandora
Productions
Mardi Gras returns to Louisville
this year as Pandora Productions
presents MASQUEREDE III, its annual
gala fundraiser to benefit the theatre
company. This year’s event will be a
festive, fun-filled evening held Saturday,
February 13, from 7:30 to 11:30pm at the
Mellwood Arts Center’s Entertainment
Complex, 1860 Mellwood Avenue, in
Louisville.
MASQUERADE III will feature a silent
auction of ceramic masks sponsored and
designed by various regional artists, as
well as props and set pieces from past
Pandora Productions. The dance portion
of the event will be spun by DJ Fierce Lady Bunny
Tease. Gourmet refreshments and adult
beverages will be served throughout the
evening. Vodka, The Event Company, Victor Hicks
The gala’s special guest is Lady Bunny, of Magnolia Photo Booth Company.
New York’s popular comedienne, emcee, Horseshow Casinos, and J. Gumbo’s.
singer, songwriter, actress, and DJ. Most Advance tickets are on sale now:
famously, she is the founder, organizer, Singles $45.00; “Under 21” $35.00. Day
and hostess of Wigstock, the outrageous of event/door tickets: Singles: $50.00,
festival of drag and music that has Under 21: $40.00. Proof of age is required
delighted thousands of New Yorkers at the door for “Under 21” admission.
every Labor Day for nearly 20 years. Tickets may be purchased online at
MASQUERADE III is made possible www.PandoraProds.org or by calling
by the generous sponsorship of Absolut (502) 216-5502.

1980s Gay Louisville Forum Scheduled

What was like for gays and lesbians
in Louisville and Kentucky in the 1980s?
Find out by attending a panel discussion
including several GLBT leaders from that
era that will be held at the University of
Louisville’s Ekstrom Library on Tuesday,
February 16, beginning at 7:00pm.
The discussion will be held at the
Chao Auditorium on the lower level of
Ekstrom Library, next to the Speed Art
Museum. Admission is free and open
to the public. Because of the popularity
of a similar forum on the 1970s held last
year, you are urged to arrive a half hour
early.
Until 1982, there were few GLBT
groups in Louisville and no services
specifically directed to the community.
But in late 1981, the spark was lit that
would quickly spread to amazing growth
in the early 1980s. From that era sprang
many of the advances experienced by
the community in the 90s and 00s. Seeds
were planted that eventually blossomed
into Fairness ordinances in Louisville,
Lexington, Covington, and for a brief
time Henderson.
The event is being organized by the
U of L's Office for LGBT Services, in
association with commonGround, the
Williams-Nichols Library & Archives,
and Louisville’s Fairness Campaign.

"Gay Homophobia": First Legal Male Prostitute

Refuses Male Customers
A brothel located in a sleepy Nevada
desert town has hired their first male
prostitute, a 25 year old muscular college
dropout, who now has the distinction
of being the first (and as off press time,
only) legal gigolo in the United States.
As reported in last month’s issue of
THE LETTER, the Shady Lady Ranch
successfully recently won state approval
to clear the way for male prostitutes
(or "prostidude" as some are calling
them) to work. Until the recent ruling, (See HOMOPHOBIA, continued on pg 8)
FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 7
 THE LETTER congratulates Pastor Sherry Roby of Open
Door Community Fellowship on the occasion of the
church’s recent purchase of a larger building to meet the
needs of their growing congregation! The church’s first
Sunday worship service will take place on Valentine’s
Day, February 14th beginning at 10:30am.

HOMOPHOBIA, cont’d from pg 7 U.S. Marine from Alabama. He said he

"Self-Love" is something all of us need to develop. So give yourself a
only women were allowed to work as
big hug as you read Michael Kimmel's BEYOND THERAPY column on page 13.
prostitutes in Nevada. The state’s two
largest metropolitan areas, Las Vegas and
Reno, do not allow legalized prostitution,
whereas “the oldest profession” is legal
in all other counties within the state.
The gigolo, who goes by the
pseudonym "Markus", has drawn
some criticism for refusing to have sex
with men. He also offended many civil
rights supporters after telling Details
Magazine that his pioneering role in the
sex business was "just the same" as that
of civil rights icon Rosa Parks. Thanks
to his offensive remarks, Shady Lady
Ranch management has forbidden their
new employee from doing any more
interviews with the press.
Markus, 25, described himself as a
well-read college dropout and former
drove to Los Angeles to become a porn
actor and left after filming two scenes.
He said he ended up in a homeless
shelter near Santa Monica, Calif., after
being unable to find another job.
Will “Markus” or other future male
hires ever serve the needs of male
customers? A co-owner of the brothel
claims that they aren't interested in
establishing a gay male clientele, but it
will be up to Markus (and other men they
hire) to decide whether to accept men
as customers. The co-owner told one
media outlet that "All this gay homophobia
in this country is horrible! Everybody's
so damn scared two men might have sex
- it's happening every day in Las Vegas.
Not going to happen here, but that's all
the big fear, is gay people."
“Gay homophobia”, huh? Kind of a
redundant expression, isn’t it?

How can gay men, victims of discrimination

and prejudice, treat each other with such
disdain and cruelty?, asks Brian Rzepczynski.
Our GAY LOVE COACH columnist will tell you
how to be an "ethical dating gay man".
Brian’s column is on page 12.
8 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010

RegionalCalendar
Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-profit community
organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and
professionals currently advertising in THE LETTER.
Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol:
editor@TheLetterOnline.com. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your
message!
3rd Sundays
3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family
& Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran
Church, 417 East Broadway. For more information
call (502) 329-0229 or write pflagmom10@yahoo.com.
Confidentiality respected.
Every Monday
7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community
Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free.
For movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT
Calendar page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com.
Every Monday
7:00pm. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus practice at
Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church,
2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write
DtnGayMensChorus@aol.com.
Every Tuesday
2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group
at The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue,
Cincinnati. (513) 241-1411.
6:00 - 8:00pm. Louisville Fairness Campaign
Volunteer Meet-Up at 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For
more information call Kyle (502) 893-0788 or write
fairness@fairness.org.
6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae
Kwon Do training for GLBT community. Beginners
& experienced welcome. For location write: m_
fearnow@yahoo.com.
7:30pm. Women’s Tuesday Night Coming Out Group
at Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati.
(513) 535-2517.
Every Thursday
6:30pm. Support group for all persons coping with
all sorts of struggles. City of Refuge Worship Center,
1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 100, Louisville. Handicap
accessible from back of building.
1st & 3rd Thursdays
7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at
Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432
Highland Avenue.
Every 3rd Friday
7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s
Coffee Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in
Louisville. Music and readings, organized by Marie
Davis, cartoonist for THE LETTER.
SAVE THE DATE!
THE LETTER’s 20th Anniversary
Dinner/Dance Celebration.
Friday, June 11. 7:30 – 10:30pm.
Location & other details coming soon!
Mark England www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com
Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods
FEBRUARY 2010
sponsored by Mark England
Wednesday, February 3
7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group,
Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850.
Tuesday, February 9
7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn
Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road.
For more information call (513) 721-7900.
Tuesday, February 9
7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667
Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more
information call (937) 640-3333.
Saturday, February 13
7:00pm – 10:00pm. Valentine’s Day Dance at
Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville,
1432 Frankfort Avenue. Admission: Cash donation
accepted at the door. This is a chem-free event. Dress
casual or formal – you choose.
Sunday, February 14
10:30am. Open Door Community Fellowship, 3938
Southern Parkway in Louisville. First Sunday
worship service held at the congregation’s new
building. For more information call (502) 893-6323.
Wednesday, February 17
6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confidential discussion
group. For more information, including the meeting
location, write: indybiversity@yahoo.com.
Saturday, February 20
8:00pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender
support group in Louisville. For location leave a
message: (502) 894-1048. For general information
about the group visit www.tg-sienna.org.
Wednesday, February 24
Fairness Lobby Day and Rally in Frankfort
9:00am: Lobby Training in Capitol Annex. 1:00pm:
Rally in Capitol Rotunda, 702 Capitol Avenue. For
information on carpooling from Louisville call (502)
893-0788.
Mondays: March 1, 8 & 15
7:15pm. Dave VanderPol facilitates a Single Gay
Men's Book Study & Journaling Group. Featured
book:Finding The Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch.
Registration: $5.00, pre-paid through PayPal. For
Louisville location and other information write:
editor@TheLetterOnline.com.
March 19 - 21
Saint Patrick’s Day Weekend at Timberfell Lodge,
Greenville, TN. 50% discount on weekend room rates
through March 28, 2010. For more information visit
www.timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-
0118.
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
INCLUSIVE FAITH
COMMUNITIES
Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal)
Journeying Together In Christ
421 South 2nd Street (Downtown)
(502) 587-1354
Sundays: 8:15am (Rite I); 10:00am (Choral Rite II)
Concert & Coral Evensong: 2nd Sundays at 5:00pm
www.christchurchlouky.org
Central Presbyterian Church
Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love
4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville)
Church School: 9:30am
Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided)
Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert
(502) 587-6935 • www.CentralChurchKY.org
Church of the Advent (Episcopal)
You Are Always Welcome at Advent
901 Baxter Avenue, Louisville (40204)
(Intersection of Cherokee, Baxter & Broadway)
(502) 451-6066
Sundays: 8:00am & 10:30am
Thursday Contemplative Prayer: 7:00pm
www.advent.episcopalky.org
City of Refuge Worship Center
Come Worship Freely Our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ
Call For Church Location: (502) 762-8986
Rev. Randy Meadows, Pastor
Sunday Bible Study: 9:30am
Sunday Worship: 11:00am & 7:00pm
Wednesday Worship: 7:00pm
www.cityofrefugewc.org
First Unitarian Church
Where Reason & Religion Meet
4th & York Streets, Louisville
Sunday Celebration of Life: 10:55am
Wednesday Chalice Night: 5:30pm
(502) 585-5110 • www.firstulou.org
Metropolitan Community Church
ALL People Are Welcome at the Table
1432 Highland Avenue (Louisville)
(502) 587-6225 • www.mcclouisville.org
Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor
Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am
Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm
Open Door Community Fellowship
Reaching Out to ALL People
3938 Southern Parkway, Louisville
(502) 893-6323
www.opendoorcommunityfellowship.com
Sunday: 10:30am & Wednesday: 7:00pm
Progressive Pathways Fellowship
What Path Calls You?
Mellwood Arts & Entertainment
Center / #208 1/2
1860 Mellwood Avenue, Louisville
Sunday Worship & Education: 5:30pm
Wednesday Book Chat: 6:15pm
www.progressivepathways.org
Thomas Jefferson Unitarian Church
A Welcoming Congregation, Standing On The Side Of
LOVE!
4936 Brownsboro Road
Louisville, KY 40222
(502) 425-6943 • www.tjuc.org
Sunday Service: 11:00am
Inclusive Faith Communities listings are welcome from
congregations throughout the six state region served by
THE LETTER. Pre-paid listings cost $80.00 for six months
or $140.00 for one year. For more information write
editor@theletteronline.com.
THE LETTER 9
 LIBERAL ON THE SAUCE

Three Topics, One Column: Such A Deal! by David Williams

One of the most disheartening
trends in modern America is
the average person’s inability
to think critically. I don’t know
if the schools aren’t teaching
critical thinking skills any
more, or whether it’s just
general laziness engendered
by a society that’s become too
soft and easy, but it doesn’t
bode well for the future of
democracy in this country.
Part of the problem may be
the drive by the media and
big corporations to find the
lowest common denominator.
The more people you please,
the more goods you serve.
Unfortunately that’s led to
a marketplace that isn’t as
discriminating in its taste as
it once was. Hence we get
such bland big box stores as
Wal-Mart and Costco. Prices
may be cheaper, but with the
drop in price often comes a
drop in quality. After awhile,
consumers shrug, buy what
they can, and don’t think
very much about what they’re
putting in their bodies or on
them. It makes for a society
that looks, well, too Soviet in
its blandness.
Hollywood is the most
egregious sinner here. Just
look at the movies being
touted for Best Picture this
year. Except for “Precious,”
“A Single Man,” and “Up In
Air,” most follow formulas
that have been tested through
the years. The public may
become enamored by this
movie or that, but in the end
most movies have the same
three or four plot lines. People
have become too accustomed
to pap, but because they don’t
know how to look at a film
critically any more, they shrug
and move on to the next one.
About the only area where
critical thinking skills remain
more or less intact is the
political arena. People may
not be able to tell a good movie
from a bad, but they know
when a politician is shading
the truth, which is often,
and when a decision is made
they don’t like. The general
rambunctiousness of our
current political dialogue is all
too American, but it’s nothing
new. We’ve been arguing with
each other ever since the first
shots were fired at Concord.
Political wrangling is one
area where critical thinking
is, well, critical and perhaps
our saving grace. You just
wish people would apply
their skills to other areas of
our culture. Then we might
truly be able to claim we’re the
greatest country on earth. For
now, we can’t.
***
Speaking of which, have
you noticed how negative the
Republican Party has become
of late? Who couldn’t notice?
That newest sobriquet, the
Party of No, is well earned.
But the Grand Old Party
risks becoming a caricature.
We all remember the fable
about the boy who cried
wolf. Sometimes they’ve hit
the mark in the past year, but
when they trash every single
thing the President and the
Democrats are trying to do,
bar none, they start to look
ridiculous.
I don’t know who devised
the idea that the Republicans
should stonewall everything
that comes before Congress
this year, but I think the
American public is growing
tired of it.
I am not one of those
people who thinks they will
be picking up a substantial
number of seats in the House
and Senate this November.
The Democrats may even
surprise everyone by picking
up a few seats once the public
learns just how beneficial the
health care reform package
and other measures is going
to be.
Stay tuned.
***
Speaking of which,
what’s happened to all the
progressive legislation the
Democrats have been talking
about? Specifically, adding
sexual orientation and gender
identity to the Civil Rights Act
of 1964, and doing away with
that odious don’t ask, don’t
tell policy in the military.
Word has it that in the next
120 days we’ll see a slew of
bills moving out of Congress
and onto the President’s desk.
Where did I see that? An
email I got from the Family
Research Council, the most
virulently homophobic group David Williams is the founder of the Williams-Nichols Institute and
in Washington. the Kentucky Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives, which are housed
Sometimes it pays to sneak at the University of Louisville’s Ekstrom Library.
onto the enemy’s email lists.

LOUIS PHILPOTT
4033 Taylorsville Road
Louisville, KY 40220

Mobile: (502) 836-1255 Century 21 Joe Guy Hagan

FAX: (502) 400-2796
louissellslouisville@gmail.com
Each Office Is Independently Owned & Operated

10 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010

 RADICAL SERENITY

Fairness Protection: Use It! by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor (editor@theletteronline.com)

Just over 10 years ago I experienced
job discrimination because of my
perceived sexual orientation. I learned
the hard way that (at least back in
1990’s) it just wasn’t a good idea to
post a picture of myself wearing a nun
habit on my personal website! Ah
yes, even non-Catholics (including a
fundamentalist supervisor) took great
offense. I was accused of “damaging
my employer’s image” by “portraying
myself as a transvestite”. Did I
mention that the offending picture was
posted on my own personal website?
Seriously.
I didn’t go down without a good
fight. I fought for unemployment
compensation and won. I fought for
reinstatement through my employer’s
Affirmative Action office. I also
discussed my situation with an attorney
I was referred to by Louisville’s Fairness
Campaign. I did not get reinstated
because, as a temporary employee, I
could be terminated for no cause at all
and because Fairness protection was
not (at that time in history) in place in
Metro Louisville.
I share my background of being
discriminated against because I
wish to convey that I do care when
a reader contacts me with a claim of
discrimination in any form and for
any reason, including due to one’s
sexual orientation (or perceived sexual
orientation). I honestly care.
At the same time, after consulting
with a former publisher of THE
LETTER, I have decided that our
policy should be to publish news
articles about claims of discrimination
ONLY AFTER the injured party has
begun to fight for their legal rights
either through the court system or
appropriate government agency. It
is my understanding that this is the
policy of the Courier-Journal and most
all major newspapers – GLBT-focused
and otherwise.
Regardless of what other newspapers
decide to do regarding allegations of
discrimination; it makes no sense to me
to print accusations of discrimination
on behalf of individuals who refuse
to have a backbone and stand up for
their rights. If I can do it, you too
can contact the government agency/
agencies designated to protect you
from discrimination. A lawsuit isn’t
always appropriate (and can be quite
costly), while government agencies
don’t charge to investigate citizen’s
complaints.
Allow me to ask an obvious question:
What is the point of having Fairness
protection, as we are fortunate to
have here in Metro Louisville, if
community members refuse to stand
up for themselves by fighting for their
rights?
As I mentioned in a previous editorial,
I will gladly refer individuals to
attorneys and appropriate government
agencies if they believe they have
experienced discrimination. But
please don’t contact me if you refuse
to stand up for your rights. Whining
that you’ve been discriminated against
is not grounds for me to investigate, let
alone publish, your story.
Many courageous and visionary
individuals have fought (and continue
to fight) for equality for us LGBT
persons. It is an absolute insult to
their legacy to refuse to fight for legal
protection already granted because of
their selfless efforts.
Sure, just because you file a claim public manner, you will have made an Agree or disagree, Dave VanderPol
of discrimination you have absolutely important statement: discrimination
would love to know your thoughts! Write
no guarantee that you will win your should never be tolerated and should
case. But at least, by standing up to him at editor@theletteronline.com or
always be fought under the remedy of
for your rights in a meaningful and the law.
call (502) 322-4632.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Dear Dave, Dear Editor:
We are members of Progressive Pathways
Fellowship and we are most grateful for all of your I occasionally visit the Louisville metropolitan
support. However, I'm writing to thank you for area to visit relatives. This time on a visit from the Dave
the awesome job you are doing as Editor of THE Bay Area in California, I found your newspaper VanderPol
LETTER. which pleased me. I see a lot of work that goes welcomes
Our friends from Indianapolis have always been into original political reporting, good spirit, etc. your
impressed with THE LETTER, but it seems to me when other publications are plastered mostly comments,
that it keeps getting better and better. I regularly with skin, commercial content or canned press critiques
find numerous articles of interest, even to the point releases. and even an
of cutting out a few of them to save for future Keep up the good work! Don't forget the occasional
reference. women and cheers for being "feminist." It has dinner
We respect what you are doing and feel fortunate seemed in my forty years out that anti-GLBT invitation! You may write to him
to have access to THE LETTER. bigotry has something to do with keeping a at editor@theletteronline.com.
Again, thank you! system of male supremacy in control.
Harriet Schwomeyer & Charmaine McQuade Mitzi Kochaver

FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 11

 GAY LOVE COACH
The Ethical Dating Man
One of the most common complaints
I receive from single gay men about the
dating scene is their frustration and
pain of wearing “the battle scars” of
mistreatment at the hands of other men
they’ve met for potential friendship
and dating. “Why doesn’t he call me
back when he says he will?” “Why did
he say he was interested and then I find
him online cruising for other guys?” “I
found out Mr. Wonderful was married!”
“These guys are so rude and crass in
those Internet chat rooms!” These
are just a few of the many scenarios
described by many singles who report
feeling jaded by the actions of their
fellow gay brothers who have slighted
them or made them feel “less than” as
they navigate their way through the
dating jungle.
It is a curious thing to ponder how
a disenfranchised group like gay
men, who have historically suffered
discrimination from a homophobic
culture, could treat each other with
such disdain and cruelty when we are
all essentially in the same boat trying
to find love, happiness, and a place we
can call our own in this world. But it
doesn’t have to be this way! We don’t
have to project and mirror the same
homophobia we’ve been programmed
with at each other as weapons. Pooling
together as a group with a collective
empathy to provide support and
understanding for what it’s like to be a
gay man and single in the millennium
can go a long way toward improving
the social climate and self-esteem of our
community and the men that comprise
it.
There are many possible reasons
why we treat other with the degree of
misconduct that we do in the dating
world. Some men are acting-out
internalized homophobia. Others do
so purely out of bad manners and poor
social skills. But more often than not,
many men are afraid to be direct and
honest out of fear of hurting the other
person’s feeling; they therefore take
“the easy way out” by disappearing off
the face of the earth or ignoring a dating
prospect who they don’t particularly
have an interest in pursuing further.
While perhaps well-intentioned, this
only serves to hurt the recipient more
and this type of immaturity can backfire
and begin to develop a negative
reputation and image of the man doing
the “ditching.”
12 THE LETTER
We cannot change other people;
we only have responsibility over our
own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Therefore, we each as individuals
can begin taking stock of our own
personal values and ethics to
determine if we are carrying
ourselves in alignment with who we
want to be. If there is a discrepancy
between who we are and who we
want to become, this is where we then
want to channel our energies toward
evolving into that man of integrity
who treats himself and others with
dignity and respect.
Becoming A Dating
Man of Integrity
In the world of online communication,
we can begin to feel disconnected
from the human experience. Don’t!
Remember that the man on the other
side of the computer screen is a human
being with feelings. Treat him kindly as
you would if you were speaking to him
in-person.
Good-manners are sexy! Remember
to use “please”, “thank you”, and
all the other common courtesies we
were supposed to have been taught as
children; and if you weren’t fortunate
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
by Brian Rzepczynski, M.S.W.
simple “Thank you for taking the time
to meet me and I enjoyed talking with
you. I don’t think we’d be a match for
dating but I wish you all the best” is
a much better approach than game-
playing, lying, and deceit.
Homework Task
Sit back, relax, and conduct a Values
Clarification Visualization in your mind of
what you picture as being a man of integrity.
What does he say and do that strikes you as
admirable and well-mannered? Write
down all the qualities and characteristics
that describe this ideal man in his
presentation, style, and demeanor from
an individual and social standpoint. Then
identify those qualities that resonate with
who you are now versus those
traits that you’d like to aspire
to become. Develop goals for
yourself to begin working on
building and integrating those
qualities into your identity as a
starting-point for your personal
evolution into the ultimate man
of depth and substance you’d
like to become. Remember that
high self-esteem results when we
behave in accordance with our
values and personal ethics.
If we all as gay men developed
the mindset of living with
integrity and becoming more
socially conscious of the effects
our behavior has on others, the
dating world might perhaps feel a
little less dangerous and more of
a welcome and safe environment
to get to know other men. One
man at a time can generate this
movement.
Here is a quote from therapist
and author Joe Kort that I just
love. It speaks directly to the
topic of this month’s column.
Use this gem as an affirmation
to take personal inventory and
responsibility for who you are
enough to get this kind of training, now and want to be as a gay man…
is the time to start educating yourself “Would the small child you
on how to become more socially once were look up to the adult
sophisticated and savvy. Not only will that you have become?”
you become more polished, but you’ll
also be engendering more positive
impressions of yourself in the minds ©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights
reserved. To sign up for the FREE Gay
of others as you treat them with the
Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating
respect they deserve. and relationship tips and skills for
If you’re not interested in seeing gay singles and couples, as well as to
someone again for a date, tell him so check out current coaching groups,
programs, and teleclasses, visit www.
directly. Or if you initially agree and TheGayLoveCoach.com.
then change your mind, tell him. A
FEBRUARY 2010
 BEYOND THERAPY
This Valentine’s Day Experience “Self-Love”
I have clients who tell me that it’s
painful for them to walk down the street
and see all those happy GLBT (or straight)
couples. “It makes me feel so lonely
and unwanted”, they say. When you’re
single, and people around you “appear”
(and I use that word deliberately) to be
much happier than you, so in love, arm-
in-arm with their gorgeous partner, it’s
tough not to compare your lonesome
solitary self and feel you’re lacking.
Feeling alone and unloved is common
to us all, coupled or not. If you live
the Hallmark card life - you have a
wonderful, perfect partner and the two
of you regularly enjoy sunsets on the
beach and great sex by the fireplace,
followed by hours of hugging and
kissing – then this column is not for you
(I would also call you a liar, but that’s
another column). For the rest of us,
who live in a place called Reality, feeling
alone and isolated is all-too-common.
The remedy? Self-love.
Even if you’re in a relatively happy
couple, you know that most of your
married life isn’t like a Hallmark card.
But after seeing all those media images
of happy, perfect couples, you may think
there’s something wrong with your
relationship and wonder: “Why are my
partner and I living a life with romantic
moments few and far between, not to
mention the ongoing boredom of paying
bills, buying dog food and just getting
through the day without killing each
other? Where are all those sunsets and
nights of passionate fireside sex? What’s
wrong with us?” If you’re single, you
may feel even worse, asking yourself:
“Why am I alone? Am I a total loser,
spending yet another Saturday night
alone? What’s wrong with me?”
CLAMOUR UNDERBRIDGE
Felix Lupercalia
I ‘ve often heard Valentine’s Day called
“Saint Valentine’s Day”. Now that’s
a bit odd since, as far as I know, there
is no Saint Valentine on the calendar
of February feast days maintained by
the Roman Catholics or the Lutherans.
The Anglicans (that’s Episcopalians in
the US) do have a Valentine, Martyr at
Rome, on their calendar for February 14.
The Eastern Orthodox calendar has two
Saint Valentines. Both of them have feast
day celebrations in July. Perhaps the
Orthodox Saint Valentine the Presbyter
(July 6) is the same person being
celebrated by the Anglicans on February
14. Valens is, after all, the Latin word for
“worthy” and could be applied to any
FEBRUARY 2010
The common theme here is, “What’s
wrong with me?” The good news is:
there’s nothing wrong with you. The
bad news is: It’s harder than hell to love
yourself when your expectations are
crazy-high. How did our expectations
get so unrealistic? In some ways, it’s
all about selling things. Businesses sell
us things by creating idealized ideas of
how life should be. The end result of
buying these media images hook-line-
and-sinker is that we feel we’re doing
our relationships all wrong. We need
an antidote to this “poison” of media-
induced craziness. We need self-love.
Want to improve your self-love? Start
by being aware of the things you say
to yourself about love, romance and
relationships. Notice if you’re critical
or harsh to yourself. Many of us have
such tough inner critics that when we
number of Christian saints.
What is clear is that none of the
Saints Valentine that I dredged up from
obscure lists have anything to do with
sending cutesy, heart shaped cards to the
other kids and asking them to “be my
valentine.” The typical pattern in stories
about the Christian saints is to hype the
gore. You can be sure if Valentine the
martyr had had his heart ripped out and
given to someone there would be a long
history of the tradition associated with it
and how that, no doubt, has something
to do with celibacy, continence and the
love of purity.
Saint’s tales also have a long history
of abhorrence for sexuality of any kind.
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
make a mistake in the relationship
department, this inner voice beats up
on us, saying things like, "You are so
stupid” or “You’re such a loser; who
would want you?”. The next time you
are disappointed in yourself, try a little
cognitive therapy: replace your negative
self-messages with neutral or positive
ones, like, "I made a mistake. No big
deal”. Or “Yeah, I screwed up, but I
won’t make this mistake again."
For you lucky folks in contented
relationships, ponder this question:
Should you love yourself more than
your partner, your children and/or
your friends? Should you put your love
for yourself before your love for them?
I believe that while love for others is
extremely important, self-love must
come first. Are you cringing right now?
Does this feel too “New Age-y” for you?
Self-love has become a cliché; yet so
many of us in the GLBT community are
Masters of People Pleasing: we put the
needs of others before our own. This is
the essence of co-dependency – pleasing
others first, putting ourselves last.
Self-love isn’t narcissism. Being in
service and giving back to our community
is important, but even hard core People
Pleasers can see that when you love
yourself, you can more easily give love
to others. Self-love is a powerful gift of
kindness, compassion and appreciation
that you give to yourself. Even if you
don’t have a friend in the world right
now, you can give yourself the gift of
self-love and know that you deserve it.
Ready to ratchet up your self-love?
Okay, try this exercise: Get up off the
sofa, put down the remote, and stand
in front of a mirror. Look yourself in
the eyes. Take three deep breaths. Ask
by Michael Kimmel
yourself (out loud): “What can I do for
you today?” or “What do you need
today?” Don’t be surprised if you start
to cry. Many of us aren’t used to being
in touch with what we need; it can be
an emotional moment. Now listen to
the answers you get: this is the real you
speaking. If you’ve been out of touch
with yourself lately, your answers may
surprise you. You may expect to hear,
“Go to the gym and don’t eat all that
junk food” but what you actually get is,
“Be kind to me today, let’s go out and
walk around somewhere pretty and then
have a nice lunch and a glass of wine.”
I invite you to make this whole month
about self-love. It’s hard to love your
partner if you hate yourself. If you have a
partner, by all means, shower him or her
with affection…as long as you shower
yourself with affection first. You’ll
have more love to give your partner if
you’re already feeling it for yourself. If
you’re single, resist the temptation to
beat yourself up because you have no
hot date for the weekend. Instead, try
the mirror exercise and see what your
“inner” lover would like. Whether you
have a 25-year-relationship or you’re
new in town and know nobody, give
yourself a healthy shot of Self-Love and
see what happens.
Talk about a diverse background,
therapist Michael Kimmel
earned a Master’s Degree in
Developmental Psychology from
Sarah Lawrence College while
interning for Sesame Street in
New York City. He currently
resides in San Diego where he
maintains a private psychotherapy practice and
offer workshops for the Southern Californian GLBT
community.
by James W. Hensley
Gore OK. Sex bad.
My guess is that our Valentine’s
Day is all that remains of Lupercalia.
Lupercalia is a holiday I think we could
all appreciate. It’s Roman (so I almost
like it automatically) and Pope Gelasius
suppressed it way back in the fifth
century. Gelasius was one of the hyper-
orthodox (not Orthodox) popes that
actually had a lot to do with the feud
between the Orthodox and the Roman
Catholics and he was determined to
stamp out any relics of paganism in
Rome. He’s also responsible for the
celebration of Candlemas on February 2.
(See CLAMOUR UNDERBRIDGE, page 14)
THE LETTER 13
 OUTLOOK WITHIN

Is It Good Coming? by Bryn Marlow

I stand at my window and watch
enthralled as huge snowflakes waft my
way. A quote from a George McDonald
novel drifts into mind. My paraphrase:
"Good is coming to me; good is always
coming to me, in the best possible form
for me at this particular moment. Even
if I do not know it, even if I cannot
recognize it, good is coming to me."
I ponder this as I watch snowflakes
drift down over the waking world.
Maybe this is how life is: maybe good is
always falling gently upon us, a unique
good, crowning the individual moment,
covering our particular needs. Maybe
we don't know it is coming. Maybe we
can't see it all the time. Maybe we see it
only through eyes of faith.
Or maybe this is all so much hooey.
Our cat O.B. presented us with a large
brown field mouse yesterday. Was good
coming–always coming–to that mouse
even as feline claws sank into soft
yielding flesh, as razor-sharp teeth cut
short a mousey life?
My father-in-law may know now if
what Walt Whitman says is true: Death
is far different than we imagine. And
luckier. Orville died recently at age 97.
His was a gentle going–a precipitous
two-week decline after two years in
a nursing home. Even there, he had
continued to look after others–staff,
residents and visitors alike. He policed
the halls, watching for anything out of
place. He wept with those who wept,
smiled at most everyone he met.
At his funeral people recalled his
pulling weeds from his soybean field at
age 92, and the cats he kept in his dotage.
A grandson told of the time he found
his grandpa sad one morning, having
buried his favorite cat after it was hit
on the road. Later that day Orville had
a big smile on his face. He must have
buried someone else's cat. His favorite
'Snoopy' had come rubbing up against
his legs. Today Snoopy lives on, while
his master's body lies buried in the cold
ground. Good is coming, Orville, good
is always coming.
Or is it? I had a hard time believing
so this past fall when a routine blood
test suggested my husband Dave had
an aggressive form of cancer. The news
hit us hard. I went into overdrive,
researching the latest treatments,
reading what I could find on the subject,
talking about cancer with anyone who
would listen. Meanwhile, Dave explored
taking early retirement, made lists of
what furniture would go to which child,
reflected aloud on happy memories. He
finally took me aside and said, "Look,
your talk of 'cancer, cancer, cancer' is not
helpful to me. If I do have a shortened
life expectancy, I want to focus on being
grateful for the time I have had; I want to
make the most of what I have left. Please
support me in this."
Follow-up test results indicated no
cancer. Dave shelved his plans for early
retirement. Good always coming.
Meanwhile, my three adult sons
remain estranged from me. No response
to my continued overtures. Good always
coming?
New fallen snow blankets the tree
limbs as far as eye can see. I catch my
breath as a squirrel in the maple tree
crawls out near the end of a slippery
branch, leaps into the air towards a
snowy oak's outstretched arms, four or
five feet away. It lands safely. I sigh with
relief.
And I wonder: what leaps are you and
I being called to make? In relationships,
jobs, healthcare decisions, inner and
outer life journeys? No guarantee we
won't grab for the branch and get an
armful of air instead. Sometimes all we
have to go on is hope. Is that enough?
Snowflakes plummet faster now. Good
is coming, good is always coming. I
hope so. Maybe hope helps us move
forward, take great leaps of faith, meet
whatever comes with open arms. May
the branches hold.
Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives
with his husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana
farmstead where they raise chickens and
flowers.

CLAMOUR UNDERBRIDGE, cont’d from pg 13
Candlemas is an entirely different
set of anti-women and anti-sex
rampaging on the Christian side
of the divide that will get its own
column later. For today let’s stick
to Lupercalia and the reasons Pope
Gelasius tried to destroy it.
Plutarch (one of those hoary old
1st century Latin historians that only
a geek like me could love) explains
what happened in the festival:
“…the festival of the Lupercalia,
of which many write that it was
anciently celebrated by shepherds,
and has also some connection with
the Arcadian Lycaea. At this time
many of the noble youths and of
the magistrates run up and down
through the city naked, for sport and
laughter striking those they meet
with shaggy thongs. And many
women of rank also purposely get in
their way, and like children at school
present their hands to be struck,
believing that the pregnant will thus
be helped to an easy delivery, and the
barren to pregnancy.”
There’s a lot more where that
came from and it only gets more
salacious. And they told me a
classical education was boring.
What’s more, the primary deity of
the celebration was Pan (Faunus
to the Romans). He’s the pagan
god hijacked by the Christians and
turned into their Satan. That’s where
the hooves and horns come from in
all the Lucifer pictures when in fact
Lucifer was an angel mentioned in
the Hebrew scriptures lacking all
such features.
You also need to know that
lupus is the Latin word for “wolf.”
Lupercalia celebrated the Roman
belief that the founders of the city,
Romulus and Remus, were raised
by a she-wolf and blessed by the
god Pan. So the wolf-boys (and
wolf-men) would run through
the city, snapping and snarling at
people, playing a game of tag with
each other and anyone they met. I
will leave the “shaggy thong” part
to your imagination.
Naturally this sent the Pope
into conniptions. The fact that this
celebration had been going on for
centuries was irrelevant and the
fact that it had no connection to
Christianity was beside the point
or the entire point depending on
the point you want to make. There
were other customary practices at
Lupercalia (sacrifices, hymns, ribald
performances) all of which smacked
of heathenry and witchcraft to the
guys at St. Peter’s and they were
determined to put an end to it. And
they did.
I am not suggesting anybody run
naked in the streets for Valentine’s
Day. It’s awfully cold out there,
don’t you know. Nor have I
traced the ways our celebrations
on February 14 grew out of the Rev. James Hensley is co-pastor of
faint echoes of Lupercalia. What Progressive Pathways Fellowship in
I am attempting to show is that Louisville. His views do not necessarily
religious groups in general and represtant those of his congregation.
Christian leaders in particular have
a long history of interference in the
celebrations of other religions and
in the suppression of any religious
or social idea that doesn’t fit with
their theology or pious practices.
So as you write out your
Valentines for your sweetheart and
others, howl it up a little. Remember
that there was a time when “God’s
Plan, One Woman-One Man” was
not the law of the land. Marriage
law, after all, is purely secular.
Common law marriage existed for a
long time in Kentucky before it was
quietly erased by those with “God’s
Plan” on their minds. Christians
in Kentucky and elsewhere have
been very successful in making the
practice of their religion mandatory
and seamlessly integrated into a What Path Calls You?
supposedly secular legal structure.
It hasn’t always been that way. It
shouldn’t be that way now.
Felix Lupercalia, y’all.
Visit my blog (http://
clamourunderbridge.typepad.com) clamourunderbridge.typepad.com
to raise your own clamor or leave a
comment.

14 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010

 GAY & FEMINIST

Queering The Religious Divide by Eric Jost

Uganda has been under some intense
international scrutiny recently. News
that the Ugandan legislature is looking
to pass a bill that will execute individuals
engaging in homosexual activities sent
a shock wave across the world. Even the
most conservative, anti-LGBTQ activists
could not believe that a country would
actually vote to criminalize -- by death
-- homosexuality in this day and age.
Well, some of the conservative
activists.
What has been discovered since
Uganda's bill took center stage is that
the legislation might have never been
proposed had it not been for radical,
American Christian missionaries
working in Uganda. In fact, when
the legislation was introduced, its
sponsors credited several evangelical
organizations for their support.
Once ties to American religious
groups came to light, progressive
commentators and journalists were
quick to link the bill back to a prominent
American religious figure: none other
than the man who spoke at President
Obama's inauguration, Rev. Rick
Warren.
The link between Warren and
Uganda's "kill the gays" bill is once-
removed. Rev. Warren has done
extensive HIV/AIDS work in Rwanda,
and following his success there, his
dissertation advisor, C. Peter Wagner,
began similar, albeit more radical and
homophobic, work in Uganda.
Rev. Warren and his associates'
influence in the international political
arena highlight the growing religious
tension that is building over LGBTQ
issues. As Europe, Australia, and the
US extend more rights and protections
to LGBTQ people, those opposing
those civil liberties are becoming
more impassioned and, in the case of
Uganda, violent. Reports across the
globe (in particular in Western nations)
indicate that as LGBTQ visibility and
acceptance increase, so do the number
of hate crimes carried out against the
community.
Although American conservative-
religious pundits don't go so far as
to wish death against homosexuals,
extremely homophobic remarks by the
likes of Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and
Bishop Harry Jackson are accepted,
tolerated, and reinforced by their
followers. While they currently rally
against gay marriage, employment
nondiscrimination, and hate crimes
legislation, if their followers become
more radical and violent (re: tea partiers
and health care town halls), how long
before Sarah Palin announces that her
2012 presidential platform is held up by
the criminalization of homosexuality?
Surprisingly, two voices in the
religious debate that have emerged as
more progressive are the Catholic and
Mormon churches. Sure, the Catholics
were extremely stupid in their threat
to eliminate charity services if DC
passes gay marriage, but they have
focused exclusively on marriage and
not opposed other LGBTQ equality
initiatives. Simultaneously, we also
learned that the Mormon Church will
support every piece of LGBTQ-related
legislation in Utah except an outright
marriage bill.
So suddenly, two of the most
historically conservative religious
institutions -- those that fight against
pretty much every other progressively
social issue out there -- are backing
elements of LGBTQ equality.
The religious divide over LGBTQ
issues is obviously nothing new, but
typically it pitted those less stringent
denominations (Reformed Jews,
Lutherans, Unitarians) against those with
more orthodox beliefs. But what does
it mean when religious conservative is
battling religious conservative? Does it
mean that the future of LGBTQ politics
will exit the marriage debate and
suddenly become more radical as it has
in Africa and the Middle East? Or does
it indicate that LGBTQ acceptance really
is growing and more denominations
have no choice but evolve?
Frankly, I hope it is the latter, but as
long as the likes of Rick Warren and
Sarah Palin sit idly by and do nothing
to condemn LGBTQ violence or hate,
I fear that this is going to become and
even bumpier ride.
Eric Jost is a freelance
writer living in
Washington, DC. His
work ranges from
embarrassing first-
person narratives to
commentaries on queer
rights and sex positive
culture; with work having appeared in SX
(Sydney, Australia), Storyscape, $pread
Magazine, and the anthology, Beyond
Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on
Gender and Politics. His weekly column,
“Culture Voyeur,” appears online.
You can check out more of his work at
www.eric-jost.com.

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FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 15

 PACKERS & POODLES
Beware Of “High-Tech Sex”
Who doesn’t love Valentine’s Day,
when you’re in a committed relationship?
I mean it is a guaranteed sex night if you
play it right! And “playing it right”
usually means a gift.
Sometimes it is a meaningful gift,
sometimes it is pure bling, and sometimes
it is a mood gift. I’ve done them all and
they all work in their own ways at the
right time. But what will I do this year?
My beautiful wife does not wish for
meaning, bling or mood. Nope, not this
year, this year she wants technology!
I’m not against technology. I’ve
gone into the tech world kicking and
screaming, but I get it. I have a Blackberry.
I have a laptop. I Google daily. Shit, I
even have a Facebook page!
But I’m no idiot. The more technology
your woman has, the more ways she has
to get in touch with you. Now I’m not
talking about an emergency number, or
“I’m just letting you know where I am”
number, I mean “keep in touch with you
anywhere at any time”.
Where I grew up and first started
dating, we had party lines. Which
meant that at anytime somebody on
our street was on the phone, anybody
in our neighborhood could pick up their
phone and hear the conversation of their
neighbors.
Thanks to “party lines” the very first
girlfriend I ever had was outed by Mrs.
Bistricky down the street because she
was ease dropping on our sixth grade
conversation. So when the private
phone lines came around I got my first
16 THE LETTER
taste of how technology could improve
my life. I thought that was the best it
could be. I could say “kissy kissy,” and
“no, I love you more…no me…no I love
you infinitely…” to my eighth grade
girlfriend in complete privacy. And I
thought that was the best it could be.
But then came three-way calling. And
wow…I could talk to one girl, put her on
hold and make a date with another girl
at the same time.
As far as I could tell back in those
days, technology was something that
should always definitely be improved
upon because it just kept getting better
and faster and easier with all the many
ways for women to get in touch with
you.
But three-way calling is where my
love affair with technology ended,
because what came next was a trick, it
was a rouse, an evil little game wrapped
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM
in technological advancement. It was
so cunning that it even had a cute little
name that tricked you into buying it…
the beeper!
The beeper is where my love for
technology stopped. The beepers,
pagers, what ever you want to call the
little, black vibrating, beeping box nearly
ruined my life!
You see the beeper technology
came around at my peak of dating. I
was young and hot and free with no
reservations, exploring sexual positions,
women and bars when it all came to a
screeching halt. And it can all be blamed
on a beeper!
I thought I was hot shit walking
around with that status symbol on the
belt of my Levi’s, giving out the number
to the ladies. But here’s the thing, if you
give your number to a poodle who’s
world that you just rocked in the hatch
back of a 1984 Mustang, she’s gonna’
burn your beeper up. Now imagine that
experience times thirty-seven women
who have your beeper number. Now
that will burn your pager up! This
wouldn’t be bad if your girlfriend at the
time didn’t think that she was the only
girl who had your new beeper number.
Yep, when all of that shit hit the
technological fan I was mad as hell. I
came home to find my clothes are on
the street and my dog is tied to the
front porch. Thanks to technology, I was
evicted by my girlfriend. That ended
my love affair with technology.
So you can understand my hesitancy
by Christy M. Ikner
with this year’s Valentines Day gift
request from my wife. I’m not saying
that she doesn’t already know where
I am every day, all day, but there is a
twinge in the pit of your stomach that
never goes away once you’ve seen your
damn dog tied to a porch all because a
beeper went off twelve times in one hour,
your girlfriend called all twelve different
girls who had beeped in, figured out
the twelve different times you had lied
to her and your life, alongside of your
evicted dog, took a turn, it’s hard to not
have post stress beeper syndrome.
But hey, I love my wife and it’s a new
day of technology, it’s a new day of
committed relationship, it’s a new dog,
so I will get my wife the new iphone.
Besides I hear that you can upload videos
to it. So I guess I will give technology
another chance. Besides, who wouldn’t
want a phone that you can watch porn
on?
Happy Valentine’s Day! Live And
Love Equally!
Christy lives in Nashville, TN where she
works with her wife in the Real Estate and
marketing industry. Additionally she oversees
the daily marketing and sales of her gay
apparel company, Packers & Poodles,
LLC. In her spare time she is an active
volunteer in the local chapter of the national
organization, The Human Rights Campaign.
FEBRUARY 2010
 doesn’t think anyone knows he’s gay and keeps up a macho façade. Sam’s

VIDEO a lawyer whose patience with his lover’s closeted behavior is quickly
fading. Things quickly change when Sam gets word that his irresponsible
brother’s ex-girlfriend has died. With the brother nowhere to be found,
REVIEWS Sam is suddenly responsible for the woman’s son, Scot (Noah Bernett).
Eric can’t stand kids and agrees to this only as a temporary measure. Scot
BY CUBBIE BRITCHES arrives on the scene in a tizzy of high drama; he’s like a gay cocktail party
embodied by a single child.
He dresses flamboyantly, wears his mother’s jewelry and adores musical
Breakfast With Scot theater. Yes, at just 11, Scot is already a gay diva -- much to the shock of his
new straight-acting dad and his partner. Scot, in true gay fashion, swishes
Adapted from a much-loved novel by down the school corridors and makes friends with the other outcasts. Eric
Michael Downing, Breakfast with Scot is the decides that what Scot needs is some manliness, and he signs the boy up
leader in this year’s revolutionary vanguard for ice hockey.
of queer family-friendly films. In the film, the Forcing these two men to take stock of their lives, Scot truly is a breath
carefully discreet lives of a closeted gay couple of fresh Canadian air. Filmed with a substantial budget, the production
are thrown into turmoil when they take in their also had the cooperation of the National Hockey League. In a sign of the
nephew. times, there are real Toronto Maple Leaf jerseys and logos, which caused a
Eric (Tom Cavanagh) and Sam (Ben stir in Canada. But one thing there is no controversy about is that Breakfast
Shenkman, Angels in America) have been in with Scot is a wonderfully warm film the whole "family" can enjoy.
a stable relationship for four years. Eric’s a Wild & Woolly Video in Louisville will have Breakfast With Scot for rent
former hockey pro turned sportscaster. He on DVD beginning Tuesday, February 23.

Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in five languages. Her first novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians
and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is mmmarie1961@aol.com.

No Other Regional GLBT Publication Offers FOUR Websites:

www.TheLetterOnline.com / theletter.win.net
theletterhead.win.net / transfatty.wordpress.com

FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 17

 DINING OUT
A Tuscan Café In The Heart Of Old Louisville
[Amici’ Café; 316 West Ormsby
Avenue; Louisville, Ky 40203. (502)
637-3167.]
I recently went through some of my
past restaurant reviews to help me best
determine what restaurants/cuisines/
neighborhoods I have neglected to
share with my readers. There are an
abundance of notable eateries spread
throughout the city but I somehow
never made a real foray into Old
Louisville. Sure, we enjoyed breakfast
at Juanita’s Burger Boy in a comparative
review with Toast on Market. And
it was very good. But I wanted to try
one of the nicer establishments in this
neighborhood. I attended a short ghost
tour of Old Louisville a few months
ago and I remember inquiring to our
guide about the Italian restaurant called
Amici’ Café which we passed during the
tour. He made very positive comments
about the restaurant and touted the tasty
offerings as well as the affordable price
tag. I hadn’t eaten Italian out for some
time so I decided to make Amici’ my
Old Louisville choice for this review.
Amici’ is located on West Ormsby
Avenue in Old Louisville. Housed in a
charming historical brick building, you
enter through an enticing courtyard area
complete with fountains and tinkling
wind chimes. It would be a lovely space
to relax and enjoy cocktails with perhaps
some appetizers – definitely in warmer
weather. As we entered the dining room,
I was reminded of some of the Tuscan
restaurants in which I dined during a
trip to Italy. The interior is a comfortable
area with intimate tables complete with
red and white checkered tablecloths,
sienna hued walls and a large mural
depicting the Tuscan countryside on one
end of the room. The lighting is low and
the background music only lends to the
romantic aura of the room.
The food served at Amici’ is Northern
Italian cuisine so the menu was full of a
variety of pastas with cream and butter
sauces. As we perused the menu, we
enjoyed crispy, thin breadsticks which
are found on all the tables. When
ordering our drinks, our server informed
us that Tuesday was ½ price bottles of
wine. What a dilemma. I was sorely
tempted because the most of the bottles
were in the upper 20’s range so it would
have cost me only $14 to $16 for a bottle
whereas the glasses rang up around
$8. But I was the only one drinking so
I would certainly be known as a lush
when the bottle might be finished with
dinner! With our drinks we ordered the
cheese bread which was 3 breadsticks
18 THE LETTER
by Beth Ann Rubin
stuffed with mozzarella
and topped with a
parmesan and garlic
sauce. They were quite
tasty. If cheesy stuffed
bread isn’t your thing,
some other appetizers
include Portabella Strips,
Calamari Frita, Three
Cheese Polenta Cakes
and an Antipasto Platter.
Prices range from $7.00 to
$11.50 for the platter.
Our server was
very friendly and
knowledgeable and
answered all of our
questions about the
food with confidence
and pride. The menu is
broken down by salads,
soups, Panini, entrees and
pizzas. Because it was
cold outside, we decided
that something warm and
hearty was in order. The
Panini choices ranged
from a grilled cheese Spaghetti with Meatballs
($8.00) to an Italian Roast
Beef and Mashed Potatoes My partner chose the spaghetti with which are on display in a dessert case.
and gravy dish ($9.75). The sandwiches meatballs and ragu al pomodoro. The The selection varies from day to day but
are served with Parmesan Fries, Garlic spaghetti was whole wheat pasta which usually includes spumoni, tiramisu and
and Rosemary Sweet Potatoes or a cup made the dish healthy! He started with cannoli. After an appetizer and a rich
of soup. The pizzas average $12.50 in a salad which he found quite tasty with meal, we decided to pass on dessert that
price and include Chicken and Sausage the house dressing. He was somewhat evening but promised to meet up again
Pizza, Vegan Pizza and a Pesto Chicken disappointed that the pasta sauce did in warmer weather and enjoy dessert
Pizza. In a unique take on traditional not have as much flavor as he expected in the soothing courtyard with a cup of
pesto, Amici’s pesto uses asparagus as but he did enjoy the meatballs. coffee.
the green ingredient. Most of the entrees I decided to try one of the specialties of I highly recommend this restaurant if
are pasta the house, the Penne al1a Lorenzo. This you are looking for dining options in Old
based with some meat and fish family recipe contained penne pasta in Louisville. This would also be a great
selections. You can choose from a basic a gorgonzola sauce with prosciutto and selection if you are in the city for the
spaghetti with a choice of sauces to sardines and topped with fried green theater as it is not far from downtown.
gnocchi to Pork Medallions. All entrees tomatoes. I was somewhat put off by And if you do have an aversion to
are served with a house salad or a cup the sardines but our server assured me sardines, lose it and sample the delicious
of soup and range in price from $14.00 that there was no fishy flavor. Rather, Penne alla Lorenzo. That alone is worth
to $18.00. the sardines added a greater depth to the trip.
We were a table of four and we all chose the dish. The restaurant requests that
different items from the menu which there be no substitutions on the recipe
meant there would be more for each of so I ordered the dish, sardines and all. Beth Ann Rubin
us to sample. One friend opted for the I started with the soup, a tomato and has been
Three Cheese Pizza which consisted artichoke offering. The soup was not reviewing
of a blend of provolone, mozzarella too thick, with chunks of tomato and restaurants
and parmesan on a tomato sauce base. artichokes.
for THE LETTER
The crust was thin and crispy with an My penne was the hit of the evening.
earthy flavor and the cheeses were rich The creaminess of the sauce along with for nearly four
and flavorful. Another dining partner the piquancy of the cheese was absolutely years. A Chicago
selected the Italian Club Panini. The divine. I don’t know where the sardines native, Beth Ann and her family live
sandwich was made up of olive tapenade were hidden but they definitely played just south of Louisville's Highlands
and herb dressing with salami, cappicola, a role in the flavor of the pasta. I think neighborhood. A talented cook in her
provolone, lettuce and tomato on the dish could stand on its own without own right, over the years her baked
toasted ciabatta. She paired her Panini the fried tomatoes but they made a nice goods have earned her numerous
with the parmesan fries. The olive addition. Although the dish is on the
awards at the Kentucky State Fair.
tapenade gave the sandwich that extra rich side, it did not seem heavy.
oomph and she enjoyed every mouthful. The café offers homemade desserts
WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010
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FEBRUARY 2010 WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM THE LETTER 19

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20 THE LETTER WWW.THELETTERONLINE.COM FEBRUARY 2010