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The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you
should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative
qualities. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of
the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and
appreciative qualities.
"And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity
are for women of purity"[s.24;v.26]
"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard
in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them
guard"[s.4;v.34]
"It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him
in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who
believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who
worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and
fast..."[s.66;v.5].
And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities
loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in
both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the
following attributes:
-a Muslim woman
-a believing woman
-a devout woman
-a true woman
-a woman who is patient and constant
-a woman who humbles herself
-a woman who gives charity
-a woman who fasts and denies herself
-a woman who guards her chastity
-a woman who engages much in Allah's praise.
Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by
Allah because of her religious qualities: "O Maryam! Worship
your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with
those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. Another was the wife of Pharaoh:
"And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the
wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in
nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].
The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious
qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab:
"(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in
the eyes of Allah's Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a
woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more
God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood,
more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in
practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus
more closer to Allah, the Exalted, than her."
Ahh, you think, but you'll never find such a woman! Well, if
that was true, Allah would not have described her in the first
place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the
women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction.
Sure, the perfect woman doesn't exist, yet "if you take a
dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah
brings about through it a great deal of good"[s.4;v.19].
Remember also that you are not perfect either.
KNOWING WHO SHE IS
To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and
that firstone relies on your personal observation. In surah
Nisaa, Allah asks the believing women that they should "lower
their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display
their beauty and ornaments," and also that they "should not
strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden
ornaments"[s.24;v.31]. If you notice a woman acting modestly,
being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice
when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions
(which includes her external beauty as well as her internal
charms), then you know she has some of those precious
qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting,
unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses
with males- keep far, far away. I'm sure when you get married
you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty
other "just good friends".