Life is not complex. We are complex.

Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
Oscar Wilde
When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life
still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is were older, and the older we get, the harder we
make things for ourselves.
You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we
wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided
people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we
were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some
point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose,
we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didnt want to
fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.
As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We
worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges,
playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didnt
work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to
make ourselves feel better again.
Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who
we really are and what we really need.
If youre nodding your head, here are some ways youre likely making your life harder than it has to
be, and some ideas on simplifying things:
1.

You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. For much of
our lives especially at the beginning we get told what do, how to think, what looks good,
what success is, etc. You dont have to buy into any of it anymore. Feel free to peel back the
layers. Think for yourself. Listen to your Self. Break the mold. When you stop doing what
everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly
what you are looking for.

2. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. As long as youre not hurting
anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for
someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a
moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in

theem? Remem
mber your own
n goals. Livee, do and lovee so that you are happy, b
because when
n it
com
mes down to it, relationsh
hips can end in an instantt, but you willl live with yo
ourself for th
he
resst of your lifee.
3. Yo
ou allow tox
xic people to
t get the be
est of you. You dont eever have to ffeel guilty ab
bout
rem
moving toxic people from
m your life. It doesnt mattter whether ssomeone is a relative,
rom
mantic intereest, colleaguee, childhood friend
f
or a neew acquaintaance. You do
ont have to m
make
roo
om for peoplee who cause you pain or make
m
you feeel small. Its one thing if a person own
ns up
to their
t
behavio
or and makess an effort to change. Butt if a person d
disregards yo
our feelings,
ign
nores your bo
oundaries and continues to
t treat you iin a harmful w
way, they neeed to
go.. (Read Toxiic People.)
4. Yo
ou are part of the dram
ma circle. How would your life be d
different if yo
ou walked aw
way
fro
om drama, go
ossip and verrbal defamatiion? Let todaay be the dayy you speak o
only about the
goo
od you know
w of other peo
ople and enco
ourage otherss to do the saame. Those tthat refuse to
o
sup
pport you CA
AN be ignored
d by you. Itss as simple ass that. Increedible things happen when you
disstance yourseelf from nega
ativity and those who creaate it. Dont gget caught up
p in drama. Just
wa
alk on by.
5. Yo
ou assign ne
egative inte
ent to other
r peoples a
actions. A
Another driver cut you off in
tra
affic. Your friiend never teexted you bacck. Your collleague went tto lunch with
hout
you
u. Everyone can find a reeason to be offfended on a daily basis. So what caused you to bee
offfended? You assigned neg
gative intent to these otheerwise innoccent actions. You took it aas a
perrsonal insult a slap in th
he face. Don
nt do this to yyourself. Do
ont take thing
gs
perrsonally. Dont assign neegative intentt to the uninttentional actiions of others. Let today be
thee day you loo
ok for the goo
od in everyon
ne you meet.
6. Yo
ou are too worried
w
tha
at people wiill steal wha
at you have
e. Let this b
be your wakee-up
calll, especially if
i youre an artist,
a
writer, entrepreneu
ur or creativee type: There is always mo
ore to
be gained from sharing knowledge than from hoardiing it. Dont worry about people stealiing
you
ur work; worrry about the moment theey stop. Be h
honest, helpfu
ul and unden
niably good att
wh
hat you do. No
N clever marrketing schem
me, social meedia buzzworrd, or compettitor can be a
sub
bstitute for th
hat, ever. Wh
henever peop
ple want whaat you have, rregardless off the
circumstances, youre doing
g it right.
7. Yo
oure trying
g to compette with ever
ryone else. If you com
mpete with evveryone else, you
willl become bittter. If you co
ompete with a previous vversion of you
urself, you wiill become
bettter. Its as simple as thatt.
8. Yo
ou have bee
en too much
h of a taker
r. One way to deal with stress and lo
oss is to imm
merse
you
urself in doin
ng good for others. Volun
nteer. Get invvolved in lifee. It doesnt eeven have to be a
big
g, structured event. Say a kind word. Encourage ssomeone nearby. Pay a viisit to someo
one
wh
ho is alone. Get
G away from
m your self-p
preoccupation
n for a while.. When it com
mes down to
o it,

there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are
happy. Takers are still unhappily wondering whats in it for them.
9. You focus on popularity over effectiveness. Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer
and its far more useful in the end. Do things and build things that make a lasting
difference. And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness. Being popular means
youre liked for a while. Being effective means youve made a difference.
10. You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. Do what is right, not what is
easy. And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know. Why? Because YOU will
know.
11. You focus on every point in time other than now. You cant change yesterday, but
you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. Be present. Tomorrow will reveal itself
exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
12. You are stuck on your mistakes. Its important that we forgive ourselves for making
mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself
today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your
hard work isnt what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after
all, is not a life absent of problems, but one thats been able to rise above them. (Angel and I
discuss this in detail in the Adversity chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful
People Do Differently.)
13. You have an all or nothing mentality. Theres no such thing as perfect success, just
as theres no such thing as perfect failure. This is why labeling things in extremes all or
nothing success or failure is an exercise in futility. What does exist, however, is a
continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and
opportunities. Appreciate the grey area between the extremes the journey the
experiences. And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
14. You expect life to always be happy. The world can be a difficult place. You may
experience suffering, heartbreak and loss. These circumstances can take a toll on your
happiness, but do not lose hope. Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which
states that opposite forces are often interconnected. In suffering, you can find great strength,
in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for
life. Life is always Yin and Yang. Opposites are interdependent and interconnected. You cant
completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.
15. You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios. - Sometimes your mind unnecessarily
wrestles with events that arent even remotely likely. Your sore throat is life threatening. Your
lost drivers license fell into the hands of a miscreant looking to steal your identity. Negativity
like this only breeds more negativity. Its a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from
shore, and if you dont swim away it will pull you under. The bottom line is that you can see

thee world throu

ugh a lens of doubt and deespair or hop
pe and exciteement. Its yo
our choice. E
Either
wa
ay, you will so
omeday arriv
ve at the samee destination
n. The only q
question is: D
Do you want tto
arrrive with a fro
own or a smiile?
16. Yo
oure letting
g loss devou
ur you. So
ometimes you
u have to wo
ork at happiness. Some
hurdles in life are
a too difficu
ult to clear siimply by adop
pting a posittive mindset. Do you need to
forrgive someon
ne? Do you need
n
to let go of a failed reelationship? Do you need
d to come to
terrms with the death of a lov
ved one? Liffe is full of lo ss. But, in a sense, true h
happiness wo
ould
nott be possible without it. It
I helps us ap
ppreciate thee good times. It helps us g
grow. If youre
strruggling to seee the light, youre
y
not alo
one. Find som
meone who u
understands and talk to
theem. Reach ou
ut for supporrt. Dont let loss
l
devour yyou. (Read S
Second Firstss.)
17. Yo
ou avoid fac
cing the tru
uth. The tru
uth does nott cease to exisst when it is iignored. You
u
can
nnot find pea
ace by avoidin
ng things. Yo
ou have to feeel it to heal iit. Bring you
ur fears and
weeaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spottlight on them
m. Because the only wayy out
is through.
t
Thee pain of facing the truth is SO worth iit in the longg run, I swearr.
18. Yo
ou put off making
m
deciisions. Bad decisions aare almost alw
ways better tthan no decissions
at all.
a Indecisiv
veness just delays, while bad
b decisionss teach us to yield better ones. In the end,
wee most often regret
r
the cha
ances we did
dnt take, the relationship s we were afrraid to have, and
thee decisions we
w waited too long to make.