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Introduction

So many of us will live out entire lifetimes repeating basic anxiety

dynamics, never being fully satisfied in relationship. Not even knowing we are
doing so, because deep down, we dont feel safe with each other. We dont know
we are deserving to look at each other, without having to earn it, and deserving to
express our hearts. We push ourselves harder because we are not aware of the
power that we already have. The soothing benefit and magnetic influence our
presence alone, as living beings, has on others around us. And the same inherent
benefit others have for us.
Most of us have felt a socially confident feeling,
often or just a little. Other times no matter how hard we
try, we are unable to find it. After years of struggle with
social disconnect, I began active pursuit of socializing
and dating. This led to a pursuit of confidence itself. I
improved my talents, talking points, methods of
listening, for a period of years. I went into the social
field again and again. I hired a life coach who gave me
many useful skills and went into the social field with
me. I went on dates with different girls. Met new people. For the first time I was
getting dates. ..Yet with all my confidence and bravado, I still didnt feel closer to
the people in my life. No matter what I tried, there was always a strange distance. I
never felt at ease that the other would stay. Relationships disappeared for unclear
reasons. But why? As this happened time and time again I began noticing
something An energy between people or feeling that seemed to play a role in
weather or not a relationship worked. I had learn from my coach and others that a
relationship could be created through the right actions and words; that that was all
there was. And with that I had come far further then I ever had before. Yet there
was still this wall. Again and again I was noticing this other factor. Even if I said
and did all the right things, if this energy or feeling wasnt there, then the
connection didnt work.
I thought that perhaps through meditation I might be able to cultivate or
understand more about this energy. I was tired with other approaches that hadnt
worked. I wanted to show that I was willing to go any distance for this. I turned
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more deeply to Buddhism. I decided I would (using my body) find the underlying
mechanism or truth behind meditation. I would see if I could actually channel this
energy. So it began:
I was present: straight backed, in all my social interactions. I ate only for
necessity. I removed my desires: quitting every one of my hobbies and pleasures,
no music, no TV, no masturbation, no art. I even avoided indulgent thoughts. I
practiced increasingly long meditations. Often going 3 to 6 hours at a time. Doing
this every day. Making my mind as silent as possible, and my body still for long
bouts. I began to wonder if it was actually possible to stop the mind and if that
was even a good idea I worked a job that was simple labor. Being present with
others was the only passion I allowed. I committed to this for two years. Some
days I would barely move at all, sitting in stillness. Other days I would spend my
time being present, an of service approach to being social. On the bright side I did
become much more confident. I had no fear about what I was waring (dressing in
more outgoing colors or unusual things), what I was saying, or who I was looking
at. I meditated inside, outside, while walking; at work my mind was still. I was
always calm and focused. - Everything was a focused experiment, using my own
body and experience. Everything in this book comes from experience, as opposed
to abstract thinking.
If you wonder what kept me motivated enough to commit to this path, my
dedication all came from my love for my first crush (and a few others). All along I
believed that that level of love and emotion was possible for me and something
that I could share with others. This love kept me going at the most painful times
I wanted to break down all the riddles of communication. I was willing to try
anything. There were times where I would literally just stare at people for long
periods. Interestingly enough (often in group settings) they would look back and
tell me all kinds of personal things; often the staring wasnt odd. It would also lead
to a type of sadness in me and the other (that felt both good and bad.) It was an
unexpected discovery, but something important still felt out of place in my heart.
Other times I would talk to random strangers, being as charismatic and
spontaneous as possible. I would go to public places and where costumes. I would
go to random bars alone. Once I walked into a store, bought a shirt from a girl, and
asked her out. I wanted to eliminate all self consciousness. I noticed the courage
path and the meditation path were at odds. Courage seemed to involved trying
harder, and meditation seemed to be a commitment to not trying at all. Stillness vs
activity. I had explored the confidence path for years already, so I became more
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focused on meditation. I came to believe meditation was giving my body energy.

And I would use this inner energy to be more present with people.
Results were mixed. I noticed real highs, some higher then Id ever
experienced. This energy would come about at times. Other times I would feel
strangely empty, even after devoting myself to hours of meditation. I was always
careful to have no desires. If I had a negative experience, I looked to see if there
were more desires I could eliminate. I didnt write down, record, or tell anyone
what I was doing. I had no pride. It was all lived experience. Being in the now
Sometimes I would intentionally do the most boring thing I could think of. At one
point I went three weeks making sure to not look at any attractive women. To
become truly desire-less I decided I might have to let go of even the idea of having
a girlfriend.
Soon this meditation simply was my life, I couldnt remember the old way; I
couldnt remember what it meant to allow myself to enjoy things. I believed on an
instinctive level that meditation would allow me to find the freedom I needed. The
stillness became uncomfortable. I would have strange symptoms at times, but I
identified any negatives as the pain needed to reach enlightenment. By in my
buddhist philosophy, I was not attached to results. It went on.
Then one night I began having sharp pain in my chest. They seemed to
come right from my heart. This was freaky. What did this mean? I remained calm.
After a day or so I decided I should tell others. They said It is probably just
anxiety. The pains continued, months passed. I took the cure into my own hands. I
believed that by meditating more I could boost my healing ability and heal the
pain. I spent even more time meditating, not aware of how meditative I already
was. Back to the seven hour meditations. My body became increasingly weak,
contrary to everything I had come to believe. What was happening? One day it
became hard even to speak. I didnt know why this was happening or how to stop
it.. Things got worse and worse, like my body was being crippled. (The drive
that it took to hurt myself to this degree, both epic and terrible.)
Then slowly it hit me, in a series of realizations: the self strict life, the
meditation itself was not the solution; it was actually taking me further from what I
wanted, it was what was hurting me. My spiritual practice had given me just
enough to keep me invested. Like a horse chasing a carrot, my practice never gave
what it promised, only seemed to. This was totally unexpected, yet it made sense
now. I saw then my body was a soft animal, a creature that needed love and play. It
was then that I looked back over my entire life, with new perspective. Trying to be
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confident actually caused disconnect. Too much stillness actually caused pain. The
only thing that remained was an astonishingly simple yet elegant view:
The high times in my life were not resulting from meditation as I had
thought. I realized that there was no correlation between this energy and self driven
hard work as I had previously believed. But the high times had come from
somewhere Instead it had a surprising amount to do with my external
environment. Times when I was around a large group of people, I just felt this
energy. Equally, times when I was around happy or relaxed people, I felt this same
charge. People who were making eye contact, and were in a mode of play. This
correlation existed from my dating life, into childhood. It explained all my
successes and failures. (I realized this energy had no relation to suffering or effort
as I had always thought,) there were times when someone could be very lazy or
laid back, and soak up this attractive life energy.
Moments where I was having fun with others: play, and importantly making eye contact (without fear). I noticed this pattern throughout my life; it was
there in all my successes and not there in all my disconnects. These were times
when I was in it totally for the enjoyment, and was looking into the eyes of others
without a sense of having to earn their gaze.
I had thought I needed the meditation to make myself more radiant, but
now I could see that that itself was a type of insecurity, thinking I needed to be
better to deserve love. I was not already good. For me mediation was the
expression of an insecurity dynamic stemming for the absence of belonging and
play. And it didnt stop there.
All around me I could now see so many intense struggles were arising from
basic absences of belonging and play between people. A vale had been lifted.
Complex insecurity dynamics were everywhere all stemming form this basic
absence. I could see that this held true at any time in my life, and I could see it in
the lives of others. Looking at it as human light and play, it explained all the
different types of suffering in my life, and every time I had ever been happy. The
missing piece to a massive puzzle of global size.
Like me, others were going to all kinds of lengths to resolve their struggles,
building muscles, taking self improvement drugs, acting confident, only making
eye contact they felt they had earned, not feeling that play with others was
important. I wanted to share my message, but my body was in a lot of pain from
years of unnatural stillness. It was hard to see others suffer just as I had, yet be
unable to help them. Physical recovery has taken time, I wish to share what I know.
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I noticed this energy came in particularly through the eyes. It seemed to be a

type of light energy. Interesting that staring at the Sun actually hurts our eyes, but
if I look into the eyes of another person, I actually feel charged with light. I was
calling this deep vital energy. A type of subtle energy between people that grew
over time. Was it possible that the eyes emitted -photons- (particles of light) but
these were somehow different then sun light? I did a Google search light emitted
from eyes, I found something: biophotons. It was similar to what I had
experienced (through my wild process of elimination).
The body has an inherent energetic benefit to other humans. The human body
emits a type of light energy that is not the same as regular light. This energy is
known as biolight or biophotons. The body naturally, continuously emits small
amounts of biolight energy from the eyes and skin, even when we are doing very
little. (Dr Fritz-Albert Popp) Our cells and heart contain a mechanism for storing
this human light energy. A benefit that is - already - there. Safety between people
means to be unafraid to expose our default or natural energy level before others.
Being around, looking at, and making eye contact without a sense of having to
impress or say something important. To relax and connect to this natural human
energy we must not feel pressure to raise our energy beyond what we already are.
We must receive the energy that is already naturally emitted by our bodies. Others
may not show, or even know it, but deep down all people have this need for love.
Knowing this takes the pressure off socializing and allows my body to relax. Doing
this we learn not to see indifferent expressions, subtle negative expressions, tones,
or energetic absences of others as a sign of disagreement or of having offended.
These expressions or subtle negatives of others are often a reflection of the others
state of energy drain or our own fear, not a sign of not belonging. We routinely
gaze at others and allow others to gaze at us because it is physically healthy to do.
This human light energy has an effect even at a distance.
In my meditations I had eliminated play completely, years of this had actually
caused pain in my body. Because of this removal I now see the essential
importance that play occurs. So many of my struggles came from the absence of
light hearted social play. As a child I had this, but I was only exposed to it a few
times, so the experience never took hold. - Play is the natural expression of the
body. In modern society we get out of touch with the bodies need for play. We sit
still so long it becomes draining. I believe it is important we not feel embarrassed
to express play when we are around people. Deep down all people have this need.
It feels scary to rely on others at first, just as it also feels scary to use something
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like play for my happiness. For many it seems easier to rely on something
predictable like sensory pleasures. But when we know how social play and safety
building work, then there is nothing to fear. To the heart, it is simple. We learn to
trust it. Feelings of goodness between us grow and grow. When the body is
energetically satisfied through receiving this social current, freely expressing play,
it is attractive to others. It spreads to the community. It is healing to all. The
advantages are endless, and everyone else also benefits.
We are animals of love and play. These are feelings of the heart. This love is
inherent to our nature for every human, not something created through strain or
stress. This social connection is built into the human organism. Socializing should,
in its nature, create energy and not drain it. Compassion is a bond, a survival
instinct built deeply into every human. Those who have been disconnected from it
are actually suffering intensely. A calm gaze and playful connection can be more
powerful then years of complex mental analysis. There is much subliminal
conditioning in our culture towards the mind based way of life. We must
consciously commit to safety and play, believing in the power we already have.
With un-fearing commitment to and awareness of safety and play between
people, there is much potential for rapid healing of suffering locally and globally;
hope for a new level of compassion and connection between people.

Modern Mind Based Living

Drain + Stress Culture
Socially disconnected stress patterns, or trauma, are passed down through
the generations. These traumas arise not exclusively from physical actions. Often
these feelings of disconnect and resulting stress patterns can come from a general
absence in the community. Something that didnt happen. Stress patterns or
habits have the guise of accomplishing something, making us better, when they
actually keep us in disconnect, taking us away from our social and playful nature.
These patterns involve a basic assumption of being not already deserving of
relationship. This assumption happens on an instinctive level for the human, it is

all that is ever known, it is difficult to imagine a different way it could be. The
water in which we swim.
A few people dont know they belong and it spreads. Fear associations with
people in the mind. The problem is in the mind, the solution is in the heart. These
insecurities or traumas of absence take root in the foundation of entire civilizations.
We think we need status or power to be attractive to or loved by others. Insecurity
is everywhere so no one thinks to question it; like the water in which we swim. We
never notice our own basic worth. The social value that we already have, simply by
existing. This sea of biolight is everywhere, I can be connected the moment I walk
into a space. More people means more potential biolight. More relaxed eye contact
and play, means more biolight that circulates.
In the West we prioritize academics and intellectual intelligence - processing
speed. We value the intellect, the mind, first. Instead of emotionally relating to
each other, we end up treating ourselves and others like objects; problems to be
fixed, successes to be accomplished; instead of energetic creatures that need safety
connection and play. We relate through our minds, the intellect is first. We
accomplish things with will power and mental focus instead of allowing and
receiving naturally occurring feelings of love or passion. The heart becomes
secondary. There is no space or awareness to feel emotion in relation to each other,
to know we are already deserving of this bond.
Education in our society is a product of the Industrial Age. We are
productivity focused. Producing honor students, that make it to the Ivy League,
that run competitive business. Yet when some are the best, it implies others are the
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worst. We strive to achieve great success, because deep down we feel that we dont
already matter. The focus on competition, achievement, intellect, could be

seen as a type of nation wide insecurity, a social fear spanning across a

nation, and beyond. We prioritize intelligence, status, and economic success as a
culture to socially validate ourselves. What are you studying? Where do you
work? We ask these questions the
moment someone walks in. We
simply dont know what else to talk
about. As a culture we feel the need
to compete and be the best. To
validate ourselves. We want that
feeling of recognition. Its not
wrong to want to feel good, to feel
love. However going after it this
way, it is always somehow beyond
reach. Some are able to thrive
within this system, many are not.
Yet even those who are beautiful,
intelligent, successful, who achieve
every standard, deep down they
still feel confusion, insecurity.
They are loved, they are famous, yet the attention they get feels like it comes for
the wrong reasons. One finds popularity, fame, yet they dont feel loved for who
they already are. The fame actually becomes a burden. It feels like an act, that will
at some point fall apart. Others get the money, the success, yet it doesnt complete
them, something is always missing.
Many of our struggles come from an over focus on the mind, and our
solutions involve a focus on the mind. Instead of paying attention to the (energetic)
needs of the heart, we as a culture focus on career achievement. School, the
therapeutic process, a business, and more, often become ways of a qualified person
teaching a student specific skills which focus inwards on individual success.
When in fact I believe seeking out playful, creative relationship itself is the healing
medicine that is needed and largely missing. We relate through knowledge and
skills, that our in fact ways of socially qualifying, validating ourselves. We dont
value the relationship itself. We only make eye contact when we have important
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words or clever statements. We do this because we dont feel that we already

matter in relation to each other. Relationship is scary; its dynamic, not as solid
and straight forward as a simple conversation tactic, multiple choice problem, or
breathing exercise; yet relationship is the essential piece to well being.
Everything in Western culture encourages sitting still for long periods of
time, schools, work, even movie theaters, restaurants. It is possible this prolonged
culturally ingrained stillness creates an energetic drain on the body, (adding to
the drain that is already there from social disconnect.) We value ourselves as
separate individuals, the inward antisocial focus adds to the state of drain. Moving
feels exhausting. Yet in truth not moving may be even more exhausting. We are
creatures of movement. With prolonged stillness the body falls into an energetic
depression, a slump. One can no longer identify that movement feels good. As
creatures of play and movement, many times moving is less exhausting than
staying still. I believe we should get in touch with the bodies natural playful
movement in our life; Not running miles to be productive, but simply expressing
a little regular movement. Noticing that it feels good.
The productivity achievement focus in our culture drains the love that
circulates in the community. There isnt enough love energy (biolight, life force)
going around to raise most people to a place of feeling naturally -secure-. When
anxious attachment (people who dont feel deserving or safe in relationship)
pervades in the community this gives rise to avoidant people. Being cut off from
the current of social energy, these avoidant people live in a state of constant drain
or low body energy. They receive no energy from the community (if you can call it
a community.) Theyve never experienced a feeling of sustained safety and play in
relation to people.
All too often these no belonging people will develop all kinds of troubles
and be identified as having a brain disorder, when in many cases the underlying
problem may be something much more basic. Many of what we call brain
disorders may be rooted in a basic social energetic absence. This is a quality of
the heart and not a problem of the mechanics of the brain. A matter of not feeling
safe or socially deserving, effecting the entire nervous system, creating a state of
disconnect and drain.
The social confidence that does happen in our society is almost like a happy
accident. Love and play want to happen, but its almost by accident that stress
patterns in some communities end up not being as bad, that love and play can
naturally occur. Many people are aware of the importance of safety and play on an
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instinctive - emotional level, but not on a conscious level. These semi-secure

people have confidence in relation to each other, in relation to other semi-secure
people; yet their security falls apart in relation to an insecure person, or an insecure
collective; (from anything to an extreme introvert, a bully, or even a business.) This
conditional security many have is not a true recognition of basic human goodness,
otherwise it would be powerful in and of itself and would spread and heal insecure
people.
It doesnt have to take decades of self-discovery to become radiant. Some
children and young people acquire qualities of confidence, charisma, and radiance
immediately just based on their family, community, and environment; how happy
and warm his or her community was. We must learn to feel safe and light hearted
in the gaze of others. To make eye contact without having to earn it, because it
benefits us and others, while at the same time listening to the needs of our hearts.
With the right approach trauma or stress patterns / habits, and life long personal
and relationship conflicts, can be healed fairly quickly. A life changing experience
of play and safety can be created. We must give the heart what it needs. FritzAlbert Popps Biophotonics, Stephen Porges's Polyvagal theory, Diane Pool
Hellers Attachment Theory, and Heart Math research, as well as my own
experience, are all beginning to show this. Leading to a new energetic heart based
understanding of the human body.

The Energetic
Heart & Body
The body gives off a healing energy and exchanges energy with
other humans even when we are doing or saying very little at all. The
human body emits small measurable intensities of light, known as biolight, from
the eyes and skin. (Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp.) (Herbert Schwabl, Herbert Klima.
Spontaneous ultraweak photon emission from biological systems and the endogenous light field.)

Humans are constantly exchanging small amounts of light energy. This biolight is
healing to ourselves and other people around us. Are bodies have a system for
receiving biolight from each other, storing it in our cells and DNA. Cellular
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damage can be virtually repaired, within hours, by faint beams of light. (Popp)
Biolight and other energies exchanged between people exist just below our
conscious perception. (Rollin McCraty) If someone is too focused on

achieving tangible goals or getting the approval of others they never notice their
own inherent worth. Though we cant see biolight particles with our eyes, we can
act with an awareness of these energies and arrange more opportunity to simply
receive their benefit. Biolight is a type of resource that can only come from being
with people. The amount of light is seemingly small but the effect is significant
over time. We dont have to make an effort to produce it, because it is already
being produced.

Our eyes alone possess an

incredible power to help others
relax, feel safe, and are primary in
this naturally occurring light
exchange between people. We allow
ourselves to feel comfortable with various
types of eye contact. I allow my eyes to move
around and go where they want to go. It is
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important to know that we can take pressure off needing words to substantiate
ourselves. So many modern modes of relation focus largely on intellectual
concepts and words. The truth is we can in fact look at someone, anyone, in their
eyes, without words needing to be exchanged, and this is vital and healthy. People
just like the sense that someone is paying attention to them, they feel heard, it feels
good and natural. Biolight travels at the speed of light, though it takes the heart
time to absorb it. I believe it may also be able to effect people from long distances
such as 100 feet. For example one can feel and benefit from the energy of an entire
crowd. It may be more effective at closer distances. This may sound like turning
love into science. Yet I believe that this awareness of our bodies may reduce
suffering and enable us to thrive.

"Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them,

humanity cannot survive.
The Dalai Lama
The Heart plays a significant role in the body in addition to
pumping blood. It is key in powering this energetic biolight system in
the body. The heart generates a powerful pressure wave that travels rapidly
throughout the arteries much faster than the actual flow of blood. (Rollin
McCraty) The magnetic component of the hearts field, which is around 5000
times stronger than that produced by the brain, is not
impeded by tissues (muscles, skin, organs) and can be
measured several feet away from the body (with
Superconducting Quantum Interference Device (SQUID)
based magnetometers.) (The Energetic Heart:
Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between
People Rollin McCraty, Ph.D.) In addition to the brain,
the heart and the gut actually contain neurons. This heart
intelligence informs the brain more then was previously
understood. Our feelings or intuition are an evolved
decision making system. When we learn to trust our feelings without fear they can
guide us to what is needed both individually and collectively. Feelings of the heart
can actually be felt physically by other people near us. If someone has an anxious
heart it can actually be uncomfortable for a person ten feet away if they are also
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anxious or in energetic drain. If someone is feeling a natural or un-efforting

satisfaction, this can be felt and is attractive to someone ten feet away and more,
and is also healing to another with an energetically drained heart. The energetically
satisfied heart is not only less effected by anxiety of others it is healing to them.
Without a full heart the mind is more easily encumbered by fear and self doubt.
Constantly thinking in search of complex solutions, but never satisfied. Physical
contact, a touch on the shoulder, hugging, is also an important way of generating
energy and connection with people. A socially isolated person may feel threatened
by touch. Prolonged social isolation, stillness, and time in dismal
environment is actually draining to the human body. Experiments on
monkeys showed that if you remove a monkey from its environment; if you take a
monkey away from the other monkeys, but continue to feed it, it will actually die.
It was said that monkeys who were given a soft object to hug survived the social
isolation, but they were still considerably weaker then the monkeys who remained
in their natural habitat. Social isolation will make someone physically week,
fragile. In light of this we should move in at a general and gradual rhythm,
adjusting differently depending on the person. Being cautious with an isolated
person so they feel safe.
We can also exchange biolight with animals. It is possible that a larger
person may emit more then a smaller person, a young man may emit more than a
baby. The fully mature heart emits more. A happy person will emit more then a
small cat (of similar emotional state). But a cat may emit more then a depressed
person. At the same time babies and children will emit a lot because they
instinctively know to make eye contact and feel free to play; social insecurity in
society has not yet set in. Children and young people will often emit a lot of
biolight because their bodies are very healthy and they feel free to express play
(thus releasing the stress in their cells). Knowing about biolight and play can
restore youth to a degree. We can use this awareness to get more out of
relationship, and be with people that help us feel good.
I used to think that other people, girls I liked, peers I wanted to meet, had
the love, the bright eyes. Weve all felt or seen it. I would sense it from people.
All my life I was expecting the other person to show the love. I thought if
someone didnt that meant they didnt like me. But now I see the bright eyes
more as a phenomena that arises between people. I was putting too much pressure

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on the other expecting it from them. It was never theres to give. The bright eyes
is something that arises over time between two or more people.
This social benefit is essential to us all. We learn that we can simply receive
this human light energy and over time our heart and cells are charged with it. We
become fulfilled uplifted naturally high.

Relaxing our Nervous System

in Connection
Known as Neuroception: When a human is in a state of fear they are
constantly scanning their environment for signs of threat. This fear mode
happens instinctively, subconsciously. When someone hasnt experienced social
belonging, their body is in a weak state, and they are easily triggered into fear. The
smallest miss-glance can cause fear or self doubt. The nervous system never
learned how to relax in relation to people. Because it doesnt feel safe it perceives
threat everywhere. Many live our entire lives like this. The Polyvagal Theory
(Stephen Porges) describes this threat mode and how without awareness it can
inter-fear with relationship.
The human brain can be divided into three parts: The reptilian brain is
situated underneath the limbic brain (the emotional brain) which is underneath the
prefrontal cortex (higher cognition). When we go into fear, the reptilian brain
scans the environment for signs of threat. The amygdala, in the back of the head,
secretes anxiety. When threat is perceived the prefrontal cortex shuts down, and
coherent thought becomes difficult. If the body is in fear, it is difficult to notice
what another person is saying or feeling. If I think that I need clever words or
talents to validate my worth, this also puts stress on the body, and can trigger fear
or uncomfortable vibrations between people.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

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Ive called this: the mirror of un-belonging. You have a room of people
that fear they dont belong.
Each waits for the other to
confirm they belong. No
one can recognize they
already do. No one feels
safe. I believe the mirror
of un-belonging is a
massive psychological
phenomena that can
spread across entire
civilizations. Everyone
relates in an anxious way;
amping up their energy, then
feeling exhausted or drained afterwards. The fear itself becomes the problem. We
fear letting the other person down, so we never truly relax while in face to face
relation. We identify the others absence or other expressions as signs that we have
offended, we see it as our fault. The fear is based on a misassumption - thinking we
dont belong, yet the negative energy and stress it creates is real.
So often we are afraid the other person will leave us so we put out more
energy to try and draw them in. But we end up wearing ourselves out in the long
run. And the other person can sense that deep down we are trying to get
something from them, because we ourselves dont feel safe. No one benefits. We
try harder and harder, and never feel truly close. Attachment Theory calls this
Anxious Attachment - Diane Poole Heller
Other people feel overwhelmed by this stressful method of relation that
pervades culture; they become avoidant. Avoiding or indifferent to social
situations. Finding refuge in lots of alone time and being very cautious or
protective around people. These dynamics play out everywhere in human culture.

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.

Gandhi

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Very often seemingly disinterested or disapproving

expressions of others may be a manifestation of their general
state of energy drain, or the
threat mode. Or my own
fear. Not a reflection of
myself not being important.
Not a reflection of anything
I have done or said.
It is important not to see
these expressions, subtle tones, or
energetic absences, as a reflection
of ourselves. I lived my whole life
looking only for the high energy
connection, and thinking low energy reactions were a sign of offense; thinking
tension was my fault. My body would flee from others in this unconscious state of
fear; protecting myself (ironically) from the vital social sustenance that I really
needed. The signals I was reading as disinterest were really signs of general neutral
or low energy in others (as was true for myself). They were not a negative
reflection of myself at all. Most of the time, other people were not thinking
critically of me at all. In my state of fear, I perceived their struggles as being my
fault.
Often the insecure person will wait for or seek signs of approval from
others. They only make eye contact when they feel they have important, clever, or
funny, words. (As I did) We laugh loudly to get attention or avoid awkward
feelings. Yet this person is never truly connected. Their connection is conditional to
important clever and funny words. The stress of constantly proving themselves
cancels out the biolight benefit of their own natural being. Others avoid this
person because it feels burdensome to constantly confirm their approval. They have
no such restriction.
We must learn to feel comfortable with bearing the un-shiny self. To be
with others without having to be any more then we already are. To expose our
default energy when we look at each other. This is the foundation of everything.
The energy we already have is good enough. This is the way the body becomes
17

relaxed enough to receive more. We have to remind ourselves that we are

deserving, we are worthy of love and connection. Deep down we all want to feel
love, even if some dont know or show it.
We learn we don't have to qualify ourselves by saying something important
before we make eye contact. Qualifying myself implies that I dont already have
value. I make unqualified eye contact. We can make eye contact in a routine way,
even at times when words may not be exchanged, we do this simply because it is
natural and feels good. Play is important to the body, but this eye contact or gazing
can happen even if we are not in a playful mode. Play is not a way to validate the
self before others, rather we do it because it feels good. This unqualified eye
contact is effortless and instinctive. This unqualified eye contact can happen with
virtually anyone, people we've just met; even strangers passing by. Ive called it the
love instinct. A child that has the love instinct may notice strangers having fun
and immediately look at them, feeling a sense of yearning. A child without this
(with trauma) will notice others having fun and actually feel afraid. Notice this
love instinct is not a self sacrifice, its actually satisfying, even indulgent, yet
everyone benefits. I believe that this eye contact (often with play) is key in safety
and creating belonging in groups, key to charisma. Instead of being in fear of the
eyes of others, when I walk into a room, I am aware of the eyes in the room, and
seeking to connect regardless of words, I thrive off this energy.
All my life I had trouble following conversations, always blank, never
knowing what to say. I never had trouble thinking of fun things on my own. But I
was always blank around people. What I couldnt see was that I was not relaxed, I
was conditioned to think there was something wrong with my mind, but in fact it
was my nervous system, my entire body, that did not feel safe. Of course I cant
think clearly if Im not relaxed.
Knowing that my body has this inherent already there energetic benefit it
takes much of the pressure off socializing. I dont have to amp up my energy to
be attractive to others, or to protect them from my default self. I dont have to
hide a part of myself, or stress to impress and entertain others. We dont have to
give into or feed the needs of insecure or needy people that talk fast or seem to
demand more of us then feels relaxing or natural. If we dont feel like we need
high energy or clever words to look at others, then others wont feel they need
high energy or clever words to look at us. We form a connection that involves free
expression yet isnt conditional to words. A deeper safety emerges. Then light
energy circulates through the group uninterrupted.
18

We learn that we have an inherent benefit to each other; a benefit that

requires no effort. To feel comfortable in face to face relation and making eye
contact in a way not conditional to words. When I am not afraid of letting people
down, then I can relax. And this allows me to actually receive energy from social
situations. Instead of being draining, connection becomes a pure benefit. I
benefit and others benefit with me. I take time to enjoy my own feelings while
being acknowledging of others; even when it means saying no to demands of
others that seem too fast or stressful.
Wordless eye contact can happen any time someone is looking to be noticed,
which is often. We get better at sensing these opportunities for free energy
exchange. Other times someone might want it even if they dont know they do. It
feels good just to know someone is paying attention. This creates safety.

There is great power in just listening and being there for someone,
not needing to solve everything. Deep down most people just want to feel
heard. Simply looking at someone shows that I am listening. If we frequently think
about our response, a solution, it can overburden us, the other person wont feel
our presence. We try to connect, because we dont know that we already are.
Just physically being in the room with someone, this energetic connection has
already begun. Just knowing someone is there with you is powerful. We have
shared an experience. Ive called this the witness effect. There are times when
you can help a person just by being with them. Simply spending time with each
other, allowing our bodies to do what they want, expressing play while being in
tune with each other, this feeling of connection grows stronger over time.

A being of

Play
Play is the energetic nature and expression of the body. Play
takes countless forms, such is its nature. Anything can be an expression
of play, as long as it feels good. I believe play is important for adults and
children alike. Play is the way the cells of the body want to move. It is enlivening. We are
19

vibrational energetic beings. Things appear solid or still on the larger scale, but on the
cellular and quantum level we are in fact made up of moving parts. Humans are
constantly moving, shifting position, observing, thinking and exchanging energy with
each other. Play is the expression of this nature. Playing in a way that is in tune with
each other is essential in creating safety. In our time play is often seen as a

means to an end, but I believe that play itself is essential.

Years into my meditations, my chest pains began and continued. I began to
look for new sources of energy. I reintroduced music, and other things. I would
watch movies. Yet the way I watched wasnt the same. I would enjoy every
moment. Observing subtle expressions. I would be reminded of times in my life. I
could feel the emotions of the actors. I could see what they were thinking and
feeling. I could relate it back to times in my life. I could see a bigger picture. How
individuals were shaped into what they were. What types of people created what
types of movies and why. Everything sparked new thoughts, new combinations of
memories. New insights. The music soothed me, giving me energy. (I started going
to movies by myself at the mall.) I would come out and find my energy had
actually increased. Despite my former association with movies as lazy. To the
contrary watching in this way I would gain energy, and I could feel I could share it
with people. I was starting to realize that these indulgences felt good for a reason.
They were healthy. It was hard to explain this to others Im watching TV to give
me energy. This wasnt the way normal people thought. .This was new, it could
give me energy for a time. Yet my energy was still decreasing in general, and I was
having pain, I didnt know why. Things got worse.
It was then I began having much bigger realizations. Play was everywhere. It
wasnt just a single tangible thing, a game of catch, a movie or song. Virtually
anything could be used as play. Play is a constant dynamic interaction of all
things happening all the time. I merely had to take part in it. To notice it was
there and become fascinated by it. To contribute to it.
Because my body was in fear, I had never had a prolonged experience of
play with others, just brief flashes here and there. I was always trying to appeal to
the intellect of peers, but never taking time to enjoy myself in there presence.
I only noticed these things because I was forced too as the previous way
became increasingly painful. When the pain became worse, it (play) was necessary
for my own survival. (But I realized it had a deeper meaning that can relate to all
humans.) Play wasnt just a game of catch as one might think. It was literally
everything. Built into the nature of matter itself. The spin and movement of
20

seemingly still things. This constant interaction and process of change is

enlivening, it brings life to take part in it. It relieves stress and invigorates the
bodies cells.
(For me play was an even deeper realization then biolight. Because play is
so dynamic. I was aware of biolight first, but because my body wasnt playing,
stress was still in all my cells, I couldnt understand why. It wasnt until after I
understood play that I could go back and reincorporate my view of biolight.) Now
I almost always have the two together. I play, while my body is also receiving and
emitting social light energy.
Play was in my thoughts. Play was in the person across the room that
reminded me of a funny memory. The energy I picked up from that person. Play
was in the way that girl fidgets anxiously, and how I can see the reason why, and
makes me want to sooth her. Play is seeing the beauty and complexity of the
patterns all around us. How they can be healed. This phenomena of change
enlivens us, fascinates us, relieves stress, provides inspiration for our own
creativity. Play is the variety other people provide. Play is variety. Play doesnt
have to be aggressive or loud, it can be very chill, laid back. Simply observing
something is a type
of play. Doing
what feels good.
New things. New
places. The
outcome, other
then the hope of
feeling good, need
not be known.
This ever
changing process,
it is life, it is
vibration, it feeds
us. It is a
foundation of simple fun, but it feeds us, and from this energetic charge, brilliance
and creativity can blossom.

Being too still, such as for multiple hours, can actually create stress
on the body, an energetic drain. Often play or fun doesnt seem important and
21

gets pushed aside for work, or time spent trying to improve ones skills. Absences
of play between people may lead to the inability to develop social bonds.
Absences of social play and safety may also lead to obesity, illness, and symptoms
that may be identified as brain disorders. When children disagree about who gets
to be the daddy or who will wear the purple dress, they're actually developing
important social skills. (Sara Wilford) I believe play is essential; in schools, at
home, and even in the work place. Fun is important.
Often when people relate it is through some type of medium, a shared
interest, an object, an instrument, a topic. I began noticing this years ago while
deep into my social being present path: I noticed that presence alone wasnt the
connecter I had thought it to be, but it is only now, years later that I see the
underlying reason It is actually Play. I used to run and crate artwork because
of the way it made me attractive to
others. In high school I was a runner,
pushing my body harder, because it was
the only thing that made me feel
important. Creating better artwork. Yet
now that I understand play, I dont need
any to be the best to validate myself. In
addition to the bodies inherent biolight
worth, play is also my connector. We can
turn anything into play, this is much
easier then needing to have talent as the
only way to attract people. - When we understand play, we can turn anything into
fun; a way to connect. Knowing this, I can use anything as play, so I dont
depend overly on any singular thing; to the point that Im not cool without
it. We must learn to be with others yet express our own need for play.
Forms of play include:

Object Play - An object can be used for individual play, for attracting
others, or as a center point for group inspiration. A house decoration. A ball. An
instrument. A computer, book, movie, game. Anything can be used as a medium to
create connection.

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Conversation as Play - Wherever I am conversation is a tool that is

always at my disposal, (in addition to our inherent biolight benefit.) A room full of
people is full of possibility for interaction. There could be hundreds of topics to
choose from, interests, passions, and millions of new possible (neuron) connections
that could be created. With this awareness, the idea of boredom is almost crazy. I
both acknowledge the other (their passion, their perspective, their struggle), and
then relate what they say to something I like. Or ask them to share more. Humor.
Dont feel everything has to be intellectual. I am not afraid to break the mold and
approach conversation from a place of play. We all need this.

Movement

Touch - Physical Interaction

Music

Learning / Experiencing - Experiencing and learning new

things or activities, sharing information, as play. This includes compassion and
helping others heal. Both learning with and helping others have similar energetic
benefits to play.

Environment Play. Traveling, Adventure.

Games.

New combinations of old things.

Observation. An event. A movie.

Talking can be an expression of play. Anything from a random observation
to a passionate discussion. We must listen to and express our hearts, as
conversation, as movement, as play. It is important that we have the courage to
do so. The voice has a natural musical power, its vibrations are healing to others.
Particularly when we speak in a rhythmic volume; almost like singing a song. One
that is neither overextending - out of fear of not being received - nor overly quiet
from fear of offending. We should feel unembarrassed to express play, in the way
we like, while in the presence of others. Unafraid to gaze. Not afraid to break the
mold of fear or un-belonging that may pervade. We express play for the sake of
play because play is important. At the same time this expression should also be
23

something that others can relate to. We take time to be acknowledging of others
emotions. This play is in harmony with the group. Play and safety go hand in
hand.

Variety in all things is

important. Play is dynamic yet it
can be measured, created. If the
interaction in the group becomes too
predictable or preplanned - I can feel the
energy getting dull, then things are no longer
fun. It may be time for some kind of play. In
other cases we may need an addition of people, or a change of scenery.

I believe an absence of play, in other words: too much stillness,

will put stress on the body, and deplete the cells; making it more
difficult for the body to absorb biolight. This is why play and connection
go hand in hand. Too much stillness is physically-energetically draining for the
body, and makes it harder to connect to people. Play relieves stress, and allows

the cells to absorb more biolight.

I notice the energies of each individual person, and what they are ready for.
Even if individuals are not aware of their own needs. Everyone needs play and
connection, but different people may be ready for different amounts. Safety and
play is simple, insecurity is complex. By staying true to and enjoying this simple
thing, it is much easier to see insecurity in the room for what it is. It may be
possible to observe a pattern in a person or people, understand what caused it, and
channel the healing energy that is needed right on the spot. Expressing ourselves
becomes attractive to others and makes them feel comfortable to express
themselves with us.
We cant create play from a place of fear, play can only come from a place
of joy or love: a simple or even indulgent wanting, not afraid, between people.
Fear can protect us from predators in the wild, but it cannot make someone love
me. Play is scary to the mind which seeks a single predictable solution out of fear,
yet to the (intuitive intelligence of) the heart, unafraid, play is simple. To often
Ive approached love from a place of fear, social situations feel like survival.
Now I express play. An absence of play was underlying why I could never connect.
I was always blank. With play there is never a shortage of conversation material or
24

medium for connection. It feeds us together and always feels good. The silence that
does happen is natural and rich, a sharing of biolight, life-force energy. We say
things not to be clever or impress, but we speak as an expression of play. We relax,
even zone out a little. I allow myself to be reminded of something fun, and share it
with others from a feeling of wanting. We are with others, but we enjoy ourselves.
And it is this natural enjoyment (feeding our own hearts) that becomes attractive to
others, and leads to higher forms of expression.
In college I was always focusing on other people I was trying to meet, trying
to keep up with them, to think like them. Making expressions so that others would
see I got them or was following. Feeling hollow. When in fact focusing so much
on others and particularly the words of the conversation was actually ironically
putting physical stress on my body. Keeping my mind and body blank and
frozen. Trying to be connected was actually keeping me in disconnect. Most
ironic. I tried to connect, because I didnt know that I already was. Now, it is
counterintuitive, but when I am with others, I am actually to a large degree
enjoying myself. I will often even zone out. It relaxes me, and gives me more
material for the conversation. I do whoever it is i feel like doing, while having
others around. It is good to practice this. to break the mold of sacrificing ourselves
for others (anxious attachment). I bring more of myself to others. To gain a felt
experience of self, while being with others.
By some standards this approach could be considered indulgent or even lazy.
Approaching connection and social situations from a place of pure enjoyment and
emotional satisfaction. I believe that play and safety between people is the
foundation for thriving as humans. It requires being without fear, and at the
same time it requires no effort. The fear is what creates effort. Fear and
deprivation create the idea that love and connection should come from a place of
effort or strain. Without fear, with belonging, there is no effort, connection is a
source of pure benefit. We are unashamed. We deserve. It is a deep recharge of the
body.
I believe play (vibration) is built into
the very nature of matter. And is key in
allowing living beings to survive and thrive. I
use the word play in particular because it
sounds innovative. It may not fully describe
the true phenomena. Originally I called this
play phenomena the value of variety. Also
25

fun. This interplay is all around us all the time. We can choose to contributed to
it, to take part in it. And to set up more opportunity for it to occur.

Environment
Our environment has a huge influence on our energy. Rich
environments support play and natural connection. Everything has an effect
on and can contribute to our energy. Sunlight. Bio light, the light emitted by
people. Sound waves, Music. Fun or stimulating conversation. The sense of
adventure. The energetic benefit of new places, people, things, events.
Feeling more relaxed means I am more likely to notice and become
receptive to all these sources of energy in my environment. It is healthy to request
or seek out places that make us feel good. To simply spend more time in places that
make us feel good and soak it up. To do art or creative projects in a social space.

We can also set up my home, bed room, or work place to be more

26

energetically satisfying. Opening windows allows in light and fresh air. We can
find ways to bring more light, color, and air, into our environment. Opening
windows to allow natural light in (which can be converted by the body into
biolight) Its subtle but makes a difference over time. Colorful posters that remind
me of things I love. Having people around. Forming a habitat type environment.
This environment becomes an important effortless source of power and recharge
for the body. (If I dont have access to people right now,) mirrors can reflect
biolight, circulate more through the room. Even reflect our own back at us. Simply
looking at our own skin we can reabsorb some of our own biolight. (But dont do
this so long that it becomes boring it is good to play too.)

Practical Steps

Simply being around people, public places, at home, we can share in some of
this free energy. For a specific example: Meetup.com is a good resource. Go to one.
Start one. Simply walk in the park and be aware of the energies of other people. I
am aware of this subtle but important energy where ever I go. Going my whole life
in disconnect, now I see just how important this subtle but vital boost is. Instead of
fearing new people, I thrive off them. Invite over some friends. Hang out in a cafe.
Hang out at the mall. Be aware of people around you, notice if having people
around can be subtly uplifting in and of itself. Bring a fun project or book and hang
out in the space. Notice things and look for inspiration in your environment. Look
for a little fun.
Meetup.com is an example of technology being used to create connection,
instead of being a way to hide from it. Facebook, Youtube, anything can be used
positively for fun and networking, depending on how you use it.
Dont feel guilty about past opportunities missed. I lived most of College
in guilt, always sad about opportunities Id missed, feeling I had let people down. I
spent years in my roomIt had to hit an ultimate low before I realized that the
guilt, the shame, was only making it harder. I went back out into the world. I
realized other people werent actually thinking that much about my wrongs.
People all want connection and will take it when they can get it, they will forgive
27

you, for years of missed moments, they will just forget it. Its not your fault.
Forgive your past. People want the now, and they dont want to suffer thinking
about the past. Enjoy the now, that is your best way to make up, to live.

Meeting
Meeting can happen anywhere, a party, through friends, a cafe, a total stranger
on the street. We can use the subtle energetic effect of our eyes to engage (safety)
with a person or stranger even before we start talking. In many cases this eye
exchange in itself is powerful. Even peripheral or indirect eye contact, is healthy
in and of itself. One can create safety, a connection with someone, even with
peripheral eye contact (also from a distance) alone, before we actually look into
their eyes. Even without eye contact your eye-beam (the light you emit) may still
touch other people, and their is also the effect of your heart field, your emotional
state. Our eyes will engage the person even before we start to talk.
Im usually aware on some level of my emotional/energetic state and how it
effects others around me. When we are anxious it can and will effect other people.
Anxious thoughts vs a fun perspective. Our emotion will effect our heart field and others around us. (As Heart-Math research is showing). I believe this field can
be felt from 10 feet away (for example). I believe the light energy our bodes emit
can be felt from much further. An anxious
person has a subtle negative effect at a distance.
The same is true for a calm and happy person.
Even if I have reason to feel anxious, I am
aware of the effect it has on others. Personally it is
rare that I ever allow myself to be in an anxious state for
more then a second or two, I usually catch myself, even
when there was a legitimate trigger. The anxiety often
doesnt help.

Even if someone else is anxious, if I

have a play/positive perspective, then I feel
good, the anxiety doesnt effect me. I allow the
new person to feel safe with my presence (often
a few seconds less or more) before I start to talk. Physically placing myself near
them. This applies to making friends and meeting romantic interest, they both are
grounded in this place of face to face safety and self expression. At the same time
there are many verbal ways to engage someone. Many times this line may be based
28

on my environment, the environment is a rich source of information that applies to

uniting me and the other person. Some openers are:
a Basic Statement
or Simple Question

How are the _____

(sandwiches) here?
The _____ (food) is great
here.
How did you choose this
_____ (class)?
Its so unassuming that it
helps strangers feel safe. I dont have to use complex or canned clich opening
lines. Its simple, so I dont have to think or stress. The simplicity shows
confidence. It doesnt look like Im trying to impress anyone, people dont feel
burdened or worried I have some ulterior motive. It is not stated, but we both know
on some level that I am here simply because I want to talk to them. I do not feel I
need a practical excuse. Words are enjoyable, (almost random) they are an
expression of play, yet not a justification of my worth or status. I lived so much of
my life like some kind of sales man Ill sell you this great art and clever
personally, and in return, you will be my friend. I couldnt see that as I just wanted
the friendship of another, the other just wanted my presence as well. I didnt have
to have great talents to earn this friendship.

Do you know where the ______ (sports equipment) (sugar) is?

What is that ______ used for?
The story about _____ was interesting on the news.
I dont need to seek high or even good energy right away; instead I focus
on creating safety and feeling safe myself in this relation. Using some amount of
playfulness can be a better way of making someone feel connected at times then a
29

dry formal introduction. I dont depend on high energy approval, a neutral

expression is good. Im careful not to read negatives into expressions of others out
of my own fear. We are a cool, consistent calm. When they feel comfortable with
me, and I them, connection is natural.
Others may / will use lots of questions in there mode of relation. (at a party,
a bar) It is important to not feel pressure to answer all the questions someone might
have. We feel we are supposed to, and we end up feeding into the insecurity of
other people. We must hold our ground and make eye contact. This is the shift. It is
the connection itself we both really need. To express play in turn. At first it feels
like breaking a social code, almost like being naked. I am not afraid to look stupid,
and I am offended by very little. This is what it takes to feed the heart in a mind
driven world. It takes some time to set this rhythm but it will feel good for us all.
If someone has been isolated or is
exhausted and you approach that person with
high energy or lots of questions it may be
demanding on them. This will prevent safety,
contrary to the belief that exuberance or
acting happy is a prime way to attract
people. Acting happy if someone else is
struggling can be un-acknowledging and
hurt the relationship. If someone is in drain
they may avoid you to avoid having to pay the
energetic demand. They are afraid that if they
dont amp up and act happy too, then it will
be taken personally. The relaxed energy self is never revealed to the other. This is a
common phenomenon. A feeling of connection doesnt have to involve smiling
and can be more satisfying then a forced smile that comes from fear.
People who have been isolated should be gently and gradually approached or
reintroduced into lighthearted social environments. Safety means acknowledging
the other, meeting their energy where it wants to meet yours. When we are not
looking for the approval of others, we can feel comfortable meeting each other
with this slow soft pacing, we dont depend only on high energy feedback, or see
the mid energy as a negative reflection of ourselves.
Stick with it and remember that connection is important for all people.
Maintain calm posture, and continue to be aware if your eyes feel natural meeting
their. Dont back out out of fear of rejection. We must face the fear of rejection.
30

To act totally calm, like there is no threat at all. Through repeated experience
we can get used to this. If I am rejected it is important not to blame myself, we
must not see it as a negative reflection of ourselves. That is what gives me the
comfort to do this again and again. Socialization and community are important
human needs. And are not often fully satisfied. Consider you may have
brightened someones entire day.
An insecure person is dependent on signs of approval from others and
reactive to any perceived signs of rejection, this will cause anxious body
language and they may scamper away in only a matter of 3 or 4 seconds after
contact. With practice we will get better at noticing the state of the other person,
sometimes it may genuinely be a bad time for someone. Often if we cant read the
situation we will have to go for it anyway and risk rejection. We cant always
know if it is the right time, it is more important that we get the practice. If you find
yourself feeling unsure again and again about approaching new people, this is the
fear that will tell you you are not deserving. You must remind yourself that you
are deserving of connection. We all have this need, its not random just to want to
connect. Fear will tell you connection should be hard work. But it is the fear
that makes it hard work. Without fear, connection happens without effort and
becomes a pure enjoyment, for both or all involved. Just go for it. If you feel shy,
its ok to show it. There is no consequence to rejection, its just the fear that puts it
out of proportion. Rejection only hurts when I am looking for the other person
to approve or validate my basic sense of self worth. I look for approval or
validation because I make the assumption that I dont already belong. That I dont
already have general social value to all people. We must practice again and again
and not fear rejection. Whatever the outcome I stick with my approach for a good
chunk of time such as 16~ seconds minimum. When I am not looking for approval
or basic validation, I am less worrisome about outcome, I am comfortable with
whatever happens. I approach the other person from a place of calm, a consistent
unshakable relax, already belonging. I am less reactive to signs of rejection and
less desperate for signs of approval.

Follow Up Topic or Questions

I like it there to. What do you like to do?

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I dont know anything about that. That sounds interesting.

Are you in school / college? How did you get into that?
Do you have any hobbies? Where do you work?
What do you do in your spare time?
Have you been doing that long? Who taught you?
Id like to know more about that.
Just asking basic questions can be a simple low stress method of
creating a relational field. This helped me a lot with dating, and in general. I
search for their passionate topics and support them to feel comfortable
expressing themselves and telling me things, as express myself to them in turn.
The unconditional or unafraid relax and rhythm that I demonstrate allows the other
person to feel safe with me. They may seek continued eye contact because it feels
good for us both. There are growing feelings of goodness.

I also freely Share Information about myself.

That reminds me of this thing I saw I saw this cool video

today. Im a digital artist. Im working on this story about I find
inspiration in ____ Im planning this trip to _____ My dream is to
_____
It doesnt have to be something significant. This is what I never knew. Its
fun just to share something. Words evoke images in others. Pleasant memories. I
look for an in-between energy reaction, not just a high energy one. The other
person might be sparked or relate to it. The subtle but important energetic
benefit of just talking in general. When I feel comfortable expressing myself,
others start to feel comfortable expressing themselves with me. As we start to feel
closer I can express more personal things and ask deeper questions.

Personal Conversation

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Do you like to travel? Wheres your favorite place to go?

Why? Are your friends in the area? What do you guys do?
Thats great or You feel you could be closer?
Look that that unusual thing / person over there.. (weaving fun in)
This can involve a lot of listening, just continue to invite them to share, and
making them feel acknowledged. And it often equally involves me feeling equally
comfortable to share personal things from my own life.
These questions help the other person feel comfortable with me, comfortable
sharing and expressing themselves. They also help me get to know more about the
person, setting up more conversation opportunities; a chance to find areas in which
we relate.
Soon (it may only take minutes) I may feel a good vibe or good energy
with someone. When I do I can ask for their phone number; or ask if they want to
hang out which implies an exchange of contacts. Even if I dont feel it I can still
ask, for practice. It is good to keep practicing and not fear rejection. To learn that I
have an inherent value to all people, that I am deserving, and that friends can be
made fairly quickly.

Reconnecting
When connecting with someone I already know or am meeting through a
mutual friend, safety can be created sooner, I could start right in with:

I red this funny/interesting thing on Facebook

Did you hear about _____
How have things been going lately?
Did anyone see any cool movies?
Do you have any weekend plans?
How is your family (or name specific friend)?
How was your weekend? (note sometimes this could remind someone how
boring their weekend was, or what they should have done, but we do our best)

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Safety and Play

the Naturally Social Being
As a young person I was constantly protecting myself from others. Avoiding
eye contact. Avoiding rowdy people or possible insults. Always tense. People
would tell me I was quiet and that wasnt something I wanted to be told. So I
would avoid allowing new people to feel comfortable enough with me to say
this, what felt like a put down. I didnt want to give people permission to put me
down. People felt uncomfortable in the way they related so I avoided. I was
efficient, I got through the day by keeping to myself and sticking only to two or
three friends I saw individually. I had no idea I was cutting myself off from this
source of power. Protecting myself from the very thing I needed. A sea of biolight
all around meNow being aware of this energy, I thrive off the group field. It is
like night and day. People who told me youre quiet now I see they were just as
clueless as me, they looking for a conversation starter; and they most often werent

trying to offend me.

34

Now when I approach a new group, social event, etc, I know deep down all
humans have this need for connection/safety and play. We are not minds to
impress, but animals that need love. Even if others dont show it at first, our calm
or un-efforting presence is valuable to them, as theirs is to me. I dont have to amp
up my energy. I dont have to say clever things to earn others approval:
socializing doesnt have to involve strain. When we simply show up, and remain
calm in the presence of others, we expose the default or low energy self. For
many this is actually scary to do. We have to be unafraid of letting people down
at times. Unafraid of what they will think. Not trying to be cool. We are already
cool. A cool person doesnt try. By doing this, I stay true to myself; my own
energetic rhythm. When I am true to my own rhythm, comfortable looking into
the eyes of others without feeling I have to earn it, expressing myself in a form
of play; then others can benefit the most from me and I them.

Being with others becomes easy now, like jumping into a warm bath.
They are my sustenance, my fuel. We keep this atmosphere of safety and play
between us. After being in the social field for a time I am charged, high on life
energy. The energy is self sustaining. More energy is generated then is burnt.
Weve had this feeling before, or maybe glimpsed it. But now it is sustainable; I
35

can have it at any time. There is no desperation or urgency. Connection is both as

effortless and as vital as eating a sandwich. I believe that when the body is
charged with biolight, it may actually weigh less, and at the same time, give off
more energy. The cells are uplifted by energy. In addition because play relieves
stress in the cells, I believe that it can also lead to having more energy, being able
to absorb more biolight.

We learn not to be overly dependent or desperate for one single person, such
as a romantic interest. It is important to create this bond with multiple people.
Which is not the same is not relying on anyone. I lived my whole life as a lone
wolf, being only self reliant, and looking back I now can see there was a great
emptiness in it. (As Saruman would say you have elected the way of pain!) Now
I rely on a network of friends so I dont put all my pressure on any one person.
We tend to put too much pressure on a single person or romantic interest when we
are desperate, used to living in disconnect. For many, like me, feelings of
romance may be the only real experience of the inherent face to face benefit we
have ever had. It is important to learn we can have deep bonds with many people,
even those we just met, and not feel it has to depend on a single person. This
36

benefit begins right away with the eyes and need not be earned. This connection
(between all people) is built into the human organism. The same way we require
oxygen and food, we need each other. At the same time your romantic feelings are
important, they are not a useless infatuation (as I was often told). We must learn to
channel them in a way that doesnt create strain or desperation. Instead of fighting
for relationship, we can attract it without trying to. We are already in a place of
social power or satisfaction even before the romance starts, if anything then it just
gets even better.
Play and Safety are dual sides of the coin. An experience of feeling safe in a
group can result in feeling open to express play. An experience of play can lead to
people feeling closer. Wielding both we become truly powerful.
Now having this energy, I can bring it to any aspect of my life. To my
creative projects, to intelligence, business, politics. Or to developing deeper felt
bonds with others, and new people. It may be contagious even at a distance. I
believe safety and play between people will promote social bonding, physical
health, and neuroplasticity, the brains ability to regenerate and form new
connections.
At its best social safety and play is something that we simply be, all the time.
There is never a time when I am not being it, because it benefits me so much.
Safety means I take time to myself as well, I take time and relax. It doesnt mean
being constantly glue to people. I believe one should live safety and play, as long
as it feels good. If it consistently does not feel good then your body may not be
relaxed, or you may be pleasing others at your own expense. It is important to
simply receive this natural social benefit, to allow this force between people to
satisfy you, not you entertaining others at your own expense.

37

The person who doesnt belong is constantly trying to earn the approval of others,
weather or not
they know it.
Striving for
success,
possessions, or
over focusing on
one person. The
void is never
satisfied. No
skill is ever
enough to hold
the interest of
others.

The person who

belongs is more
likely to make eye contact in general wherever they are, regardless of words, with
new people or old
friends. They
spend time around
others without
having to earn it.
They express play
in speech and
action because it
feels good for both
them and others.
Less effected by
negative
comments.

38

Social Animal
People need each other, we need love (to survive). When we feel week,
instead of feeling ashamed, at these times we may need each other even more.
Instead of feeling we should -only- expose our best self, to become truly strong, we
must expose all sides of ourselves. Then we can be vulnerable and receive the love
we deserve. That said we should seek out friends that make us feel good, and not
feel we are being with others at our own expense.
I used to think I had a problem, and that others had it figured out.
After college, I had time to think about things differently. I began to realize that

even people I thought had it figured out were having basic problems. Feeling
uncomfortable during sex. Succeeding in business, but not holding down a
relationship for more then a year. Feeling there girlfriend might leave at any
39

moment. Getting angry at the drop of a hat. Feeling afraid to walk into a room. I
realized basic problems were all around me. Why did I think it was just me?
Success wasnt what I thought it was. People I had thought were successful were
having these same struggles
Challenge yourself Accept the struggle Work hard Push your edge
beliefs I had followed all my life. I began to question them. Maybe working hard
wasnt the solution I thought it was. Maybe successful people were succeeding for
a different reason, something accidental; something they themselves might not be
conscious of. That success came not from effort and pain, but from play and cheer
in relationship and community. I used to think success came from effort
(suffering), I was now seeing something more the opposite. People with exposure
to strong community and social play, were more successful. I began to notice this
pattern more and more. People with strong relationship had a natural power, that
was attractive to others, something that couldnt be paralleled through any amount

40

of effort. These people committed to their dreams, yet satisfying relationship

(friendship) was the essential factor that one could not do without.
I believe, from all I have experienced, that we are community creatures,
social animals, that thrive when gathered together. This is perhaps the way
living organisms flourish in the vibrational chaotic world of entropy, a
Universe prone to decay. Life: self-organizing order; sentient beings, survive
and thrive from the fabric of chaos (the quantum foam that exists at every point in
space time) by expressing their vibrational nature while harnessing group
power.
It can seem scary to see others as a source of life. Because of this fear, social
insecurity develops (fear in relationship) and spreads in the community. Insecurity
is not anyones fault. It is a pattern, one that is as old as the human race. Because of
the complexity (of the evolution) of the human mind, memories of fear are more
easily trapped inside. Someone has an empty childhood, so in there mind they are
more likely to think of the world in general as empty. Less likely to perceive
positive things. (like me) This creates a week state. One is less likely to seek the
positive environment they need. It is not anyones fault; yet anger is an important
emotion that lets us know when something isnt right. (In this case) the problem is
in the mind, but the solution is in the heart. This pattern can only exist for the
unaware. Now with our current, never before existing level of awareness, it may be
possible to change this pattern, perhaps forever.
It is valuable to know that other people will often be afraid; they may react
in fear to the exposing of your default or natural self. The default (un-efforting) self
looks scary to us and others, but there is no real threat. The fear is reactionary,
instinctive, there is no real danger, but humans have this fear reaction all the time.
Because the body has no instinctive experience of belonging socially, it is
constantly in fear (I believe this may be true for most people). Getting angry at
others who looked at them wrong or didnt give enough attention; thinking the
un-receptiveness of others is our fault. There is a reason for this fear (the aversion
of gaze and taking things personally) but it is a misconception. This pervasive fear
serves to complicate things; we dont want to scare or offend others so we learn
to hide our true or natural self, and only put out our best self socially. It is
important to notice this fear reaction that happens in others (and ourselves) and not
fear it ourselves, to relax in the gaze of others and expose our default self anyway.
At times it may mean not meeting the gaze of others so not to startle them. Other
41

times gazing will be important, even with new people. There is an easing into it
that builds safety.
Relationship is dynamic. It feels scary to rely on others when I am not use to
it. It feels like sacrificing ones independence, to make community a way of
life. But there is actually no loss. By relying on others, there is energetic benefit
for all, and individual freedom is in fact gained. Freedom to attract whoever, and
to create whatever, one wants. It is almost selfish, lazy, by many standards, to
simply enjoy the act of connection and play without effort or stress. This is not the
way of hard work, the way that was conditioned into me and many. Yet it feels
good and is attractive to everyone around us.
Phenomena such as materialism, greed, narcissism, terrorism, paranoia,
pride, may all stem from a basic absence of social bonding. When reintroduced to
such a bond, the former way of life is no longer fulfilling. It becomes difficult to go
back. Hurting others or being self-focused becomes not only un-compassionate,
but simply impractical.
Instead of focusing primarily on a final product, or sensation of pleasure, I
look for what satisfies me energetically in this moment. A more intangible but
more powerful kind of satisfaction. I look to feed my heart and the hearts of
others. I stimulate this invisible energetic system of the body in myself and in
others. It does exist: as bio-photons. We cant see it, but we feel it. When we
become aware of it, we start to notice it more, and can seek more of it. To the mind
that fears, relationship is complex, but to the heart that yearns, it is simple. You
could say it is more advanced then current (newtonian, atom level, physics materialism) science. We are actually learning to receive and channel the
biolight: particle, wave, quantum energies between people and in our
environment. This is a science of quantum light. Humans share quantums of light
with each other all the time without realizing it. I believe it is our future (and may
be commonplace 25 years from now). It takes courage to hold to this, and to not
feed into the way of mind that is all around. To hold our ground and remember that
safety and play are important even if others (often unintentionally) make us think
we should suffer or strain.
When the body absorbs more biolight, it radiates more light back out: the
gaze has a more powerful effect. The body radiates so much light that the chance
of creating fear disappears. At this heart energy saturation your eyes alone can
heal others (and from great distance). Then you are free to gaze all you want.
42

People will yearn for you. It wont matter if they know you, or are a total stranger.
Your body will channel a primal and universal healing human force.

Dating
This is written from the perspective of guys meeting girls, though much of it
may translate universally. The Meeting chapter also applies here. You cant create
attraction without creating safety.
the Approach
When you approach a woman (in virtually any
setting): keep in mind a woman of great beauty will
often be in an on guard mode. She is protecting
herself against needy or bad vibe guys (guys with an
anxious heart field). In other words: not feeling safe.
She may have a cold or indifferent exterior to protect
herself. Yet deep down, even a stunningly beautiful
woman needs love and connection just as much as
anyone. To relax her 'on guard' mode (in many cases)
you can create safety with her or with the entire
group starting with your eyes alone. Other guys
talk fast to get attention. But I am a calm consistent
force. Her eyes want to meet mine. Notice how you
are feeling, maintain calm posture. If I am not calm it
will effect her. Many times your eyes alone may start
the interaction before you start talking. I speak not to
impress her. But to sooth her. I have already
energetically engaged her with my physical
presence.Words have a separate but also important
energetic power. Your voice, its rhythmic
quality, can create safety. You can use simple
unassuming opening statements or questions:

43

"The food is good here

Do you know where the ______ is?
Is the food good here?
I love this song
Use conversation as a form of play. These questions often relate somehow to
your environment. The environment is a key resource for conversation. Use
simple basic follow up topics / questions:

Your shirt reminds me of _____ What brings you here?

Is this something you like to do often?
This music reminds me of _____ This cafe is a great spot to relax
Dont over focus on impressing her. Dont think a high energy response is
the only sign of connection with her. You can change between multiple topics,
without needing to explain every detail. Remember you already have a certain
human value to her just being there. Dont worry about having an intelligent reply
or answer to all her responses. Conversation becomes play. When you relax in
her gaze, it is easier to remember things. Bring up something random because its
fun. Find where the fun wants to go. Your voice has a relaxing power in itself.
Some topics will light her up. Even if your topics dont all light her up, it is good to
offer a variety of information, and talk about yourself, then ask more about her.

How did you get into this?

Are you in college? Where do you work?
My energy is a consistent calm. At times simply repeating or echoing what
she says, looking into her eyes, feels good and takes pressure off thinking up a
response; or shows her I am listening. At times looking away may be natural. As
we get closer I maintain eye contact more often (then I look away.) This way she
feels connected to me (like someone is listening) even when Im not speaking.
When I smile or laugh, its not overtly to get her attention; its simply because
smiling or laughing feels good. Or I genuinely thought something was funny.
Pretend your just watching a good movie, enjoy it. Your ability to enjoy yourself at
your own pace is what helps her lower her guard and relax over time. Gradually, in
44

what may be just a few minutes, she will become more open to you, tell you
personal things, and want to see you again. Turn an intimidating unapproachable
woman, into a friend or more.

An energetic Wing Person

Simply having someone with you, their physical presence, can boost your
energetic influence, and thus your ability to create safety with others. It can also
help you feel better yourself. Ideally a friend or someone you are comfortable with.
We can look out for each other and promote each other:

This guy is really good at

_____
You should see his _____
(art)
Even if a girl (person)
actually rejects me, a huge part
of social proficiency is not being
effected by this. She wasnt
interested. But even still, her tone
or rejection is not actually a
reflection of my basic goodness. It
is not a sign that she is too cool and I am not cool as may often be perceived. It
is more likely a sign that she is on guard. It is simply a type of fear, her protecting
herself. Now I know that I am a good person, even if I get turned down. So many
people are protective and afraid, not trusting in the goodness of others. This is
normal. Its important to practice many approaches and learn through experience.
To be unaffected by rejection.

First Hangout / Date

When I start to feel good energy between us, I ask her:

It would be great to hangout some time.

Or We should get a coffee sometime!
45

Be straight forward. Notice it can be a blurred line

from the initial meeting to a first get together. Maybe we just
met, and were having such a great connection, that we launch
into an adventure or date level of intimacy right there. Or we set
up a
time to meet later.
I take her to new places. Anything is more fun when there are two of us.
Everything is an adventure. Any semi-random object or happening in the
environment can be a source of fun, conversation, or an excuse to make eye
contact.

Personal Conversation
I am comfortable asking her about her life. About what she does. Her
dreams. Just asking simple questions. Knowing this is good, it wont offend her.
Dont feel afraid to ask personal questions after spending a little time with her.
Offering related information from my own life. Having simple follow up questions.
I dont (necessarily) need a high energy response from her. Im not impressing
her. We talk simply because it feels good to talk. Having her feel safe, close or
intimate with me, is better then hyper enthusiasm or forced joy that comes from a
place of fear.
I look at her with my eyes, not to impress her, but simply because it feels
good to look at her. She may say What or What are you looking at? But this
isnt actually bad. It may be new for her, but that doesnt mean her energetic body
doesnt want it. The other person may not know they want love, but they do,
humans need it, this is a big realization. Over time a good feeling grows between
us. It feels almost magnetic. I listen to her talk. I dont focus with stress on every
word. I relax into myself while being with her. I enjoy. I allow myself to be
reminded of things in my life, even allowing my mind to drift a little. Thats
how relaxed I am. As relaxed as I would be if I was watching a movie. When
Im relaxed more (creativity) enters my mind. I express thoughts that occur just
because its nice to express something.

46

Because Im not trying very hard, it is easier to notice things. If she is

hungry or tired but not telling me, if she wants to sit down, if we both could use a
walk. I can read her mind. Often while dating I was so
focused on entertaining the other person, that I
overlooked or missed their more basic needs. Like
a need for affirmation. I gave her all kinds of
complicated advice, when she might just have
wanted to hear good luck on your test. Or I was
reaching for high energy and didnt notice she was tired
and just wanted to talk slower. I already deserve to be
with her. Not to have sex without consent, but I
deserve to look at her. I believe relationship is healing
and can make you and the other more beautiful energetically and physically.

Intimacy - Physicality
When we am comfortable in relation to her, feeling
deserving to look at her, be around, or even gaze, we
start to notice more, without trying to. We become more
likely to notice when she may want us to advance. Or we
may both feel it together. I can pick up something she
may be feeling yet is too shy to tell me. Because I am
relaxed being with her, talking to her, and to look at
her face, she feels relaxed with me; we both feel
relaxed. Slowly or bodies are charged with energy.
Soon we both start to feel lots of emotion.
Heart Math research shows that when people stay in face to face
relation and are in a relaxed state, their hearts actually beat in sync. They enter a
state of coherence. One person feels joy and the other persons heart actually
mirrors that rhythm, one person feels sadness and the other persons heart mirrors
that rhythm.
When we are in relation, I may feel like kissing her, and she may feel like
kissing me. Within her, she has the same instincts and feelings that I do. I dont
47

have to convince her to kiss me, I dont have to appeal primarily to her intellect.
Too often this is blocked by the stress of feeling we am not already good enough,
or that we are not deserving. When she feels safe with me, she realizes she is
deserving of this good feeling. When her nerves relax, she will feel attracted to me,
the instinct is already there, we just have to relax enough to allow it to arise.
Talking, free expression helps us relax.
If there is some reason why she cannot be with you, even then there is still
benefit. Allowing and reminding ourselves that we deserve this natural connection
with one person, we become more attractive to other people; and feel more
comfortable doing it again. Having attractive friends is valuable. Personally I dont
believe in the idea of a friend zone. The friend zone is a real thing, for those who
arent aware of the bodies innate social value. I think a relationship can change at
any time when it is desired. (If all the right parts are in place, two people, who find
each other relatively attractive, and there arent any major complications) Safety
and play allows the attraction that is already their to arise. If the time is right, a
romantic interest will feel their attraction for you rekindled, anew. Or a friend
might turn into something more. If someone says I have a boyfriend Im still in
love with my past boyfriend. I dont want to date now Im too busy with
work Be aware, they may say this because they don't feel safe. Ive had many
girls say these exact things to me, I took it literally, and felt hopeless about life. (To
be honest I actually wondered if girls had the same feelings guys did. Or if they
had evolved beyond needing their male counterpart.) Much later I realized that
they often say these things simply because they dont feel safe, its a ruse to protect
themselves. They were put off by my anxious vibe. Safety and play is a simple yet
dynamic thing, its not surprising that many go their entire lives never realizing
they are free to be it.
I keep meeting new people and keeping connections with many people. If
things arent working out with one person romantically, I can approach or spend
time with another romantic interest and ask them to hang out with me in a date like
scenario. We feel closer and closer in this mode of safety and play. Allowing self
expression and being inviting, supporting of the others self expression. We listen to
our feelings, and can take the relationship wherever it wants to go. Sex, foot
massaging, hang gliding, making love while reading Taoist scripture on a
mountaintop during a blizzard, embrace your hearts desire.

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Sexual Energy
I include this because it is important and it was rarely talked about or
understood when I was young. The only thing I remember them teaching us in
school was to use protection, but that was making the assumption you even got
as far as the sex part haha (angry laughter). There was no talk of feeling safe and
deserving of relationship. And also no talk of the addictive potential of
masturbation.

I believe that for men, over frequent ejaculation can actually

deplete the bodys energy. Ejaculating too much, such as once every day or
twice a day can put the male body into energetic drain. Sperm takes a certain
amount of the bodies energy to produce. They are complex life cells, each with the
power to create new life, and at the same time a man produces ~ 85 million of them
every day. I believe ejaculation should not be treated like a drug of over frequent
indulgence. Sexual orgasm could even be considered a sacred thing, for an
evolutionary reason. Though I dont empathize total absence or the strictness
some religions might suggest. Sexuality is important, not something we should be
ashamed of, yet not something we should treat as an emotionless gratification of
pleasure.
From personal experience (repeated experiments over years in different
settings and over differing time periods) I believe that for men conserving sperm
will lead to a notable increase in general body energy. Not just increase in lust,
but increase in body energy and attractiveness - both socially and romantically.
This energy is stored in the scrotum (I really wish there was a less hilarious
anatomical term for this haha) and circulates through the blood stream, charging
the entire body, and there is less pressure on the body to continuously create new
sperm. There is more free energy. This may manifest in the bodies ability to
absorb more biolight. If you reduce ejaculation for this reason it is important that
you replace that activity with something else fun or positive; such as walking
outside, relaxing with a friend, or watching a movie. Ive noticed increasing
energy benefit while conserving seamen, for up to two or three weeks, while
replacing the time with other activities. There is no consequence to going longer.
Yet I dont promote total abstinence. I had a year where I only ejaculated four
49

times. During that year I had the most energy I ever had in my life. Now I believe
that with natural socializing + play (while conserving sexual energy) you can get
this same transformative benefit I had in a only a matter of weeks or even days.

At the same time it is equally true that sex or even masturbation

should be fully enjoyed. Sex, and masturbation, when the body is relaxed will
actually generate a degree of energy, for the same underlying vibrational reason
that play does. You can even consider finding ways to make sex playful.
Ultimately with constant repetition, sex may not always be able to generate
as much energy as is expended in ejaculation. Sex can generate more energy than
masturbation in that you get the physical energetic benefit of the other person.
There are many factors. Do not worry too much over the loss after ejaculation.
Conserved sexual energy (with kindness to the self) may lead to better sex, deeper
emotional, sensory, and preceptory experience in life and during sex. Deeper

50

feelings of intimacy and connection during love making. Sex becomes not solely
an act of pleasure, but a rich emotional and physical interplay.
Much of the pain young women are taught to expect during their first
sexual experience actually comes from increased muscle tension due to
nervousness. It is important to remind ourselves that we are safe. And to learn to
feel safe with each other. We should feel comfortable, even proud exposing our
naked flesh before sex and allowing eye contact before and during sex if it feels
good. Cuddling is also an important healthy way of generating energy.
(I believe masturbation or sex without ejaculation, for purposes of energetic
benefit, can be done without any negative long term consequence. But dont stress
too much over it.)

Romance
Safety and play is the bonding material of relationship. In romance, family,
and friendship. We stay tuned into each other and support each others self
expression or needs. At the same time staying true to our own expression and not
compromising or suppressing our own basic needs - love and play, movement,
food, sleep, chewing, using the bathroom, sneezing - out of fear of upsetting the
other person. The other person will be most happy when we are at our natural best.
Have the courage to enjoy ourselves. Often we our best relying on a network
(community) and not put all our needs on a single person. We are comfortable
expressing ourselves. Comfortable exposing ourselves. We learn not to be afraid of
disagreement that may happen at times. It is actually healthy. It allows us to feel
comfortable expressing ourselves. Then we can find energetic compromise that
works best for us both (all). Everything we say, do, or dont do creates and
energetic impact. We find the way our energies want to meet. We are in
relationship, even when we dont look at each other, simply by being in the same
room. We are deserving to simply gaze at each other, look at each other, and make
routine eye contact. There is no pressure to force our energy to be higher or
different then what it already is. The most beneficial part of the relationship is the
part that is most effortless, the part that feeds us.

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World Vision
Lets gather boys and girls in circles and support them to make eye contact
with each other while doing or talking about something fun. To teach that humans
already have a benefit to each other. Lets create more atmospheres of safety and
play where connection can naturally emerge. I call these hang out spaces. I hope
to see more community spaces where this naturally social experience can arise on
its own. We create community with some guidance and energetic support of
community holders. We can find energetic satisfaction in this community
approach and allow the brains natural capacity for healing, neuroplasticity to do the
work in healing what can be called disorders.
We spread this awareness and experience of connection and play, it becomes
contagious. We can create hang out spaces. Places that naturally support
community. Individuals model and hold the space for this to happen. Providing this
basic resource for more people. This benefits us as well as others. Providing more
free energy in the community. This is not a self sacrifice. Its a profit. Taking
advantage of the bodies natural (quantum light) design. I see this as an act of basic
decency. The challenge is only in advocating its importance. Why should we play?
Why should we eye gaze? Many will question. It seems almost too basic to be true,
and for many the instinctive body is in fear. This eye gazing and play will actually
be embarrassing and uncomfortable for people to do at first. It is scary. But when
we are exposed to it, it will become increasingly appealing. When there is a critical
mass (in a given group) it will be difficult to refuse this natural appealing
atmosphere of connection and the empowered feeling it brings.
I see this potential for connection in everyone. Though it is important to note
some traumas are intense so we may not take on all people right away. I
recognize that it takes time for someone who has lived their entire life in
disconnect or on the mind level, it takes time for them to drop into the heart. They
need a constant dosage of connection and play. This resource, this relationship,
and presence, is simple, but it must be provided all the time. It benefits us both. A
little is not enough. The same way a mother would not leave my baby alone in the
forest even for a short time. This natural bond is always there, the moment
someone enters, to the moment they leave the room, I am aware of there presence,
and they may be aware of mine, it feels good and healing to us both. This inherent
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connection that exists with or without words or action. I am aware of the other
person and that at times gazing too much might seem like Im controlling them.
looking away is also part of creating safety. Even when the eyes dont meet there is
still an energetic connection. The other can feel your emotions from your heart
field, and the effect of your eye beam.
This biolight benefit and awareness of play has implications in medicine,
trauma work, longevity, healing brain disorders, politics, etc. This community

effect of safety and play is what the body naturally wants, with a practical
consciousness around its importance, a resilience of social safety and

play that is not shut down by stress and fear of others or oneself, this
connection or feeling it can spread. Recognizing this basic goodness of all
humans, unlocking this natural benefit and expression has a growing healing effect.
We are happier and more relaxed, able to make better decisions, and physically
healthier. It could spread across entire nations, the planet; ending depression,
stress, stoping wars. It could lead to all kinds of advancements in medicine,
technology, and general feelings of satisfaction. All based on a simple unafraid
awareness of social safety and play that can be passed on through the generations.

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Freedom of Satisfaction
The Effortless Connection
When we let go of the need to try before others, exposing our
default or un-shiny self, we relax and we receive the light energy that
is already there between people. My enjoyment of life and expression of
play helps me relax, and others relax around me. When I feel safe to make eye
contact without earning it then others feel safe with me too. I learn not to see
negative expressions or indifference of others as a reflection of myself not
having an effect. It is a reflection of their pain and I feel compassion for them. I
know I have an inherent social value that applies to all people. Even those who

seem disinterested still need this natural (non effort) human benefit. Receiving this
love or light energy, and allowing others to receive mine, slowly my cells and heart
are charged with biolight, the light emitted by people.
When energetically satisfied, naturally high, the human body is moved by
an effortless playful energy, instead of by force of will. When I am benefiting,
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others benefit. This mutual benefit is the way to thrive. Safety and play between
people empowers all aspects of human life. Connection happens because it feels
good and right. Not because I should or I am afraid of disappointing people. Love
and good feeling is my mover. It feels easy to seek connection whenever I want.
When energetically satisfied we acquire a magnetic attractiveness to others. We
can walk into a room of people and feel an instant sense of connection; a
confidence that is not conditional to anything. We attract what we want without
stressing for it. We effort less yet accomplish more. We feel more and perceive
more without trying to. We can share the healing power of this abundant life force
with others just by looking into their eyes. This is not just my power, its the power
of the entire group, channeled through me.
I see the basic goodness of all others. Yet I am still cautious of the insecure
energy that may try to hurt me. I feel deep sadness for all those that suffer in stress
and isolation, those that suffered in past generations and those that suffer now;
playing out life long patterns of disconnect; never satisfied, never complete. Those
who are totally dissociated from their human connection. Believing instinctively
that they are undeserving, or that life should feel empty. This is not pity for others
but instead an incredibly empowering feeling. It is a realization of both the
suffering of our time, the goodness of all beings beneath it, and the incredible
potential for healing - enlivenment. My presence and natural expression is healing
to others without stress or strain. We can turn almost anything into play,

expression. We can attract whatever we want into our life without straining
for it. We are the fearless embodiment of safety and play.
As more learn this way of being, then it spreads further to others more
easily. We are hear to listen and hear to play and heal. Nothing could be more
enlivening, more satisfying. So much can be healed. And the process itself is
enlivening. There is something profoundly simple about walking into a social
space and absorbing biolight; naturally sharing it, spreading it; yet doing this takes
courage. To not be pulled down into heavy intellectualism. To hold my own. To be
intimately connected to anyone, without trying to be. When I look at this world,
there is nothing that surprises me; all worldly pain is a massive chain reaction that
comes from the basic absence of belonging and play. Creating it is simple, yet
holding the space for it takes great courage. Staying true against all the patterns
that subliminally push us the other way, telling us we should suffer. The more
people we touch, the more life energy circulates in the community. We
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are each hubs, beacons, for community energy. The potential is enormous. More
energy reaches others, more reaches the nation, and the population of the entire
planet. We can establish harmonious living with this simple practical awareness
of safety and play in connection. We can change what it means to be human
forever, extending to further generations. Reaching the full energy of human
potential We may even evolve further beyond. Yet most importantly, our

hearts are always satisfied; a satisfaction that is connected to the world,

and attracts whatever it needs.

You are Already Awesome

Have the Courage to Play

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Remember, You are the One I Love Like me you are part of
this human journey. I know much about the human body, but when it
comes to why this Universe exist at all, I know very little There is so
much suffering in this world. Let Compassion be our Retribution.
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