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Fireworks with Females

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Fireworks with Females

What is Meet Your Sweet?


Your new life starts today. With MeetYourSweet.com, you get the ultimate toolkit to creating the success you crave in Life and Relationships.
We know that youve got the smarts to take care of most areas of your life. So why should
dating and relationships be any different?
Thats why we here at MeetYourSweet.com take a life coachs perspective to romance. We
dont want to give you a paint-by-numbers program or dumb down what it takes to master
REAL success.
Rather, our goal is to empower you by giving you the life skills that you need to achieve a
complete personal and social transformation
the kind that will have you feeling confident, secure, desirable, and powerful, no matter
what challenge you face!
Weve done the research, and we know what works. Our thoroughly researched, non-manipulative approach harnesses capacities that everyone has within them. Whether youre
male or female, young or old, single or in a relationship, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the opposite sex.
Just imagine it. Gone are the days of struggling to get a date. Gone are the days of struggling to keep someone attracted. Gone are the days of worrying about whether youre
good-looking enough, popular enough, or captivating enough or to get attention from the
opposite sex!
With MeetYourSweet.com, you get expert advice from a team of the worlds greatest writers, life coaches, and counselors in the field of dating and relationships.
Every Meet Your Sweet course includes collaborations with top names in the field. Our
team of contributing authors includes our very own Slade Shaw and Mirabelle Summers,
as well as Amy Waterman from 000Relationships.com and Andrew Rusbatch from SaveMyMarriageToday.com.
So kickstart your personal and social transformation with MeetYourSweet.com. We look
forward to hearing how our courses have changed you!

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Fireworks with Females

All Rights Reserved


Copyright 2008 MeetYourSweet.com
No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by
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MeetYourSweet.com.
The information contained in this book is provided as is without warranty of any kind.
The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the
user, and in no event shall MeetYourSweet.com be liable for any consequential, incidental
or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book.

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Contents
Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
How this book works. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
A quick word on my own style. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Section One:
Attraction From the Inside Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Setting Your Own Beliefs: the Two-Part Process. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Part One: Ridding Yourself of Negative Self-Talk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Actionable Attraction Challenge #1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Actionable Attraction Challenge #2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Part Two: Instilling the Beliefs that You Want. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Actionable Attraction Challenge #3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
A Quick Word on Game-Playing and Manipulation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Figure Out What You Have to Offer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Know What You Want. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
The Non-Role of the Ego in Creating What You Want. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
The Scarcity Mindset . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
Be High Value . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Actionable Attraction Challenge #4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Dont Get Too Attached to the Outcome. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Important Points to Remember from Section One. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Section Two: The Knowledge You Need to Escalate to the Next Level. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
External Signifiers of Attractiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Style and Attraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

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Do Your Looks Matter?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96


Lifestyle Design 101. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
Actionable Attraction Challenge #5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Where to Meet Women . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Important Points to Remember from Section Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Section Three: How to Communicate With Women. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
How Not to Talk to Women . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Actionable Attraction Challenge #6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
How to Be Compelling. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
How to Start a Conversation With a Woman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Create Attraction through Radical Honesty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
So What Do You Actually SAY?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
How to Deal With Rejection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Getting Her Information. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
What to Do With Her Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
Important Points to Remember from Section Three. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
Section Four: Female Psychology. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
Women Want a Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
Romance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
Getting Physical. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Important Points to Remember from Section Four. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
Section Five: How to Make a Relationship Last . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
Important Points to Remember from Section Five. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Afterword. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198
Bibliography/Recommended Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
Recommended Reading. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202

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Foreword
The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental
way. They wont. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle,
play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.
- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

Hey.
I know you.
Youre that guy.
Youre that guy that other men stare at in bars, clubs, and on the street, torn between an
equal wish to pick your brain and club you to death with their bare hands.
Youre that guy who always has just the right mix of dry, cocky wit and genuine-good-guy
vibe, that guy who slides in under the radar and gets results that most can only dream
about.
Youre that guy who pisses a lot of other guys off.
Youre that guy that women love.
Youre that guy.
You can trust me: hes right there, inside you.
Want to know how I know?

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Its because, after years of doing what I do, I still have yet to meet a guy who doesnt get it
on some level.
They just need a few small tweaks just a few MINOR ADJUSTMENTS before they can
start getting the results theyve been dreaming about.
Thing is, most guys dont even know that theyve got it
and most get so screwed up from constantly making small mistakes, and not realizing
theyre making them, that they cant trust themselves any more
and they end up just kind of giving up.
This doesnt have to happen to you.
Once you cut through all the layers of scrambled connections and crossed wires all the
B.S. thats caused by years of those ordinary little mistakes, slowly compounding on one
another you get to the realization that you already know what to do.
You already know how to be great with women.
You yes, you personally - just dont know it yet. You just dont trust it yet.
You figure, your instincts have led you astray so many times now, you just cant trust them
any more.
You dont trust yourself yet.
But you will. Were going to some serious rearranging of the matter between your ears.
And when were done, Im not going to lie to you: youre probably still going to make
some mistakes.
But youll know when youre making a mistake, and youll know what it is

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and (heres the clincher) youll know what to do about it.


And after a little while, the amount of time spent in damage controls going to be seriously
minimize because, given enough self-awareness, and enough experience, you literally
wont even be making those mistakes any more.
And a little while after that, youre going to start getting in touch with the guy you really
are.
The one you read about at the top of the previous page. Sound good? Yeah, its not so bad
but youve got to be prepared to put up with some crap from other guys who arent used
to seeing guys like you in action.
And thats when youre going to have to start dealing with jealousy and envy from other
dudes.
Its the price you pay for being good with women.
Figure you can make that sacrifice?
Then lets go.

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Introduction
Some time ago, my awareness and recognition of the world underwent a quantum shift.
Things, as it turned out, were not the way I had always held them to be.
They were different.
Disturbingly so.
In a matter of days, something that I had previously never even considered to be a
possibility was proven to be nothing other than a FACT of life.
Heres what I realized.
I woke up to the fact that it doesnt matter what a GREAT guy you might be that, if you
dont know to CONVEY that greatness to the women of your choice, in a way that they
can UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE, then you are in TROUBLE.
Sound nave? Maybe a little unbelievable that it took me til I was in my mid-twenties or so
to figure something out that most other guys figured out when they were in middle school?
Perhaps.
But Im not always so slow off the mark. I believe there were extenuating circumstances, in
fact.
Allow me to explain
When I was at university (seems like a lifetime ago now), I had a certain group of friends.
There were about 10 or 15 of us, and even though wed arrived at college from all corners
of the country, we just seemed to gravitate towards one another.
At parties, organized socials, and just around the campus, wed always bump into each
other and end up hanging out for the rest of the day. Sometimes, til the wee hours of the
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next morning, too.


It was weird.
It wasnt like we had much in common heck, some of us didnt even take classes
together.
We didnt room together.
Often, we werent in the same dorms.
So what was going on? How come we all ended up in the same group and how come
we all got on so well?
At the time, I had no idea. But now - now that Im older (and, I hope, wiser), Ive come to
realize what was happening.
It wasnt that we had physical, material things in common like classes or dorm rooms.
It was more that we were recognizing kindred spirits
and being inexorably drawn to one another.
What did we have in common?
Well its not like we were modern-day Lotharios, or anything quite so grandiose. But we
all had a certain manner with the ladies, and this ability stood us in good stead.
This is what we had in common: an ability to just connect with the opposite sex.
And for the most part, relatively effortlessly.
Of course, we were by no means perfect. But compared to the rest of the guys in our
class, I guess we just learned faster than most and definitely had fewer problems
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experimenting with and applying what we noticed about women to our interactions with
them.
Ill say it again: in all honesty, this seemed perfectly natural and normal. It was nothing out
of the ordinary at least, not to the members of our group.
We were surrounded by women in our dorms, our classes, our part-time jobs day and
night. They were always around. In that environment, it seemed impossible to not be on a
constant, steep learning curve.
And our abilities to recognize and make good on those opportunities were what set us
apart from the rest of the more normal guys at our college and its what forged the
bonds of friendship among us.
We ended up forming kind of an informal gang, and would hang out (maraud?) at parties
and gigs and generally have a great time together.
I spent most of my time socializing with this large, but tight-knit, group of guys (and, of
course, the women who followed us around like the colorful, giggling tail of a bright and
well-socially-orchestrated comet.)
I didnt really spend much time with other guys outside of my group
so I never had an opportunity to figure out what life was like for the REST of the guys
on our campus.
It sounds crass and unbelievably nave now (even to me), but at the time, I genuinely
didnt realize that our little group was anything out of the ordinary. I figured that this must
be how things were for all guys.
We had a good time, we studied (sometimes), we partied hard, and we never had to try
too hard with women. We all had a healthy amount of sex. Some of us had girlfriends,
some of us didnt, but the point is that we never had to put that much effort in.

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We just seemed to understand how to instinctively gel with women: how to say the
things they liked to hear, act in ways that amused and entranced them, horse around and
get some laughs, and most importantly they were attracted to us.
I now know enough to call guys like these naturals.
And I guess thats what WE were.
We never had to THINK about what we were doing with women.
If we had been asked to explain ourselves, or teach other guys what to do, we wouldnt
even have known what to say.
Wed probably just shrug, and say something like, I dunno just go out there and be
yourself. Works for us.
Not because we were idiots, or cruel, or arrogant.
It was just because we were almost paralytically unaware of how life was for the rest of the
male population.
Look, Im not tooting my own horn, or bragging, or anything like that. Im just trying to
explain what compelled me to write this book.
Long story short, college ended (as it does for everyone). We didnt think anything would
really change all that much sure, wed have to go out and get jobs, but come on. A social
life was a social life how hard could it be to build up a new circle?
As it turned out, it was much harder than any of us had anticipated.
I accepted a job on the East Coast, and moved out there the summer that I graduated. My
friends mostly stayed around the West Coast. A few of them moved to Colorado, a few of
them went down South, but mostly they continued to hang out around our old stomping
ground.
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And so I underwent an immediate immersion in Life Outside College


and, more importantly, I was abruptly introduced to how life was for most guys.
In a new city, where I didnt know anyone, I was forced to get out there and meet some
new dudes to hang out with.
No big deal, I thought. Bring it on!
I decided to prioritize male friendship over and above feminine intercourse (social
and otherwise) in this instance. Personally, Ive always found that I work better, both
professionally and socially, against a solid backdrop of male companionship, and felt no
desire to shortchange myself especially alone and, at first, a little daunted in a new city.
So I figured that Id get on my feet before taking any kind of significant notice of the female
component of my new cityscape. Id concentrate on getting the basics sorted: getting a job,
an apartment, making platonic (i.e. woman-free) social progress. That sort of thing.
Fortunately, it didnt take me long to meet a bunch of new guys to hang out with (Im a
pretty social animal), and before long, I had a fairly decent social network.
But.
Within a few weeks, I was pretty demoralized. Shaken up, freaked out I missed my
old compatriots with a yearning akin to dehydration. It was like being trapped on the
inclement surface of an ugly new planet, alone and thirsty with nary an oasis in sight.
What is going on over here? I thought to myself.
It was my own coming of age wake-up party: the wool had finally, abruptly, and
painfully, been ripped from my innocent young eyes.
I finally saw for myself the depths to which smart, funny, entertaining, interesting, goodAll Rights Reserved 2008 MeetYourSweet.com

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looking guys were going to make themselves attractive to women and yet regardless,
their dating prospects continued on a plane of awfulness hitherto completely unfamiliar to
me.
Some of them would go for months on end without a date. One or two of them had been
for years. One of the guys I was closest to hadnt had sex for NINE MONTHS.
What was going on here??
And how were they surviving without sex??
(I later found out that they managed because, quite simply, they had to. A simple lack of
perceived opportunity, and a dearth of the necessary reflexive social assertiveness to do
anything about it, made the choice for them and enforced it quite stringently.)
You have to understand that this was pretty unsettling for me. I mean, Id spent pretty much
my entire adult life to date in the company of men who were, to a large extent, effortlessly
successful with women (myself included).
It had never been a big deal before, for any of us.
And yet NOW, I had all these great new friends whom I got on really well with and yet
their dating lives were terrible.
And it wasnt because there was a shortage of women. On the contrary.
Living in a big city, we were literally surrounded by beautiful women. Walking to work
in the morning out drinking lattes with their friends on sidewalk cafes working up a
sweat in tight Lycra at the gym shaking their little asses on the dancefloor in clubs.
They were everywhere
and they were hot.

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And they knew it.


Yet, despite the absolute abundance of gorgeous women and despite these guys own
success, senses of humor, great jobs, and entertaining personalities
most of the guys Id befriended just didnt know how to make any kind of progress with
women.
It freaked me right out. And it sure made me grateful for the company Id kept over the last
five or six years.
But I couldnt just sit there and watch these guys fall on their faces with women over and
over again. I owed it to them as their friend (and to all the women in the city who were
resoundingly desperate for decent men to date) to help them out of the social quagmire
that they found themselves in.
So I decided to pick my own brain, consciously put aside my natural status with
women, and deliberately figure out what the essential, key differences were between my
college friends and my new friends.
It was at this point that, by a strange twist of fate, I met the woman who was to co-author
this book with me.
I met Mirabelle Summers through one of those friend of a friend situations, and we hit it
off immediately. We had so much in common to talk about both of us were passionate
about the science of attraction, and when I told her about the project I was embarking
upon, she wouldnt take no for an answer.
She wanted to get involved. And having just exited a protracted and painful breakup
herself, attraction was ALREADY on her mind a lot why not put that (and her years of
experience as a professional dating coach and online relationships author) to good use?
So together, we set out to figure out what it was about those fifteen or so guys from my
university days that set them apart to such a remarkable extent from the thirty or so guys in
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my current social network?


What was holding these new dudes back?
The two of us became quite incensed by this topic, and between us, we both pretty much
turned into recluses for a couple of months.
I introduced Mirabelle to all my new friends, and the two of us would go out and party
with them.
But we werent doing it for pleasure alone.
We were spurred on by a thirst for knowledge.
The two of us were out there like social automatons, scrutinizing every move that these
guys made and noting it down in our heads. When the night finished, wed compare what
we noticed.
Then, when I went home for the night, Id pull the shutters, turn the phone off, and make
copious anthropological notes.
(I cant speak for what Mirabelle got up to at nights, because, um, its not like that. No,
really. Its not.)
I was drawing comparisons between what Id just seen in the field, what Mirabelle had
seen, and what I used to see every time I went out with the naturals.
Slowly but surely, patterns began to form.
We were beginning to figure out a formula for how the men who were the most reliably
successful with women acted when around them
and, at the same time, we were becoming more and more aware of the mistakes that my
post-college friends were making.
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It was finally becoming clear to us both.


Look, dont misinterpret me here. Mirabelle and I dont have some sort of supernatural
powers when it comes to 'what works' with women. Were just normal people.
And heck, so were my friends back in those heady college days.
In fact my group back then wasn't really that different from the dudes I met post-college
in my city on the East Coast.
We were alike in nearly every way but with one huge difference.
One group of guys knew how to convey their coolness to the women in their lives and
one group did not.
One group realized consistent, ongoing success with desirable women and one group
continued to go home alone every single night, and wake up alone every single morning.
The difference was simply how they communicated themselves to the women they
wanted.
The naturals had a way of talking to women a way of behaving when around them
that women understood, and were attracted to. Women instinctively understood the worth
of these guys.
The post-college group, though, lacked this ability.
And as a result even though they were just as entertaining, interesting, smart, and
successful as the naturals they rarely, if ever, had success with a woman. And if Fate did
smile on them every once in awhile, their subsequent encounters were always at the whim
of the women they never had any control themselves over who found them attractive.
They just took what was available, as and when it became so.
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They were completely at the mercy of feminine caprice.


Mirabelle and I wanted to change that.
And so, the two of us got my new friends together and spread the word that we were going
to help them shed their cluelessness and become as successful with the opposite sex as we
could possibly assist them in being.
I was going to use the benefit of my years of complete social immersion with the naturals
for their express enlightenment.
And Mirabelle and I were going to compare and contrast the way they worked with
women, with the way that my natural buddies did.
We were going to try and save them as much blood, sweat, pain, and effort along the way
as we possibly could.
So heres what happened.
We gave an impromptu lecture on the subject. Nothing fancy. The two of us just stood up
in front of a basement full of men, and explained to them how we perceived their strengths
and weaknesses in terms of getting success with the women of their choice.
They listened to us talk.
Some of them took notes. (One guy even had a Dictaphone.)
And then they went out and applied what we said to their lives.
Heres the crazy part.
Things began to change for these guys at an astronomical rate.

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Their success levels with women improved significantly, dramatically, and quickly.
Im talking instantaneous transformations.
Either these guys had been so bad with women that any advice would have made a
difference or the advice that we had to give was good enough to help them create the
success that they so desperately longed for.
I figure, in retrospect, that it was probably a blend of both.
Yeah, a lot of those guys were so clueless that just about any kind of objective advice
would probably have helped but at the same time, I must admit that we did have a
somewhat unique and informed perspective on female psychology and what works with
women.
This book is based upon the research that we did and the talk that we gave on that longago day on the East Coast.
As for me personally, Ive come a long way since then, and many of my principles and
ideas have evolved along with me. Ive also had much more opportunity to expand my
own personal database of anthropological observation with various women, and Ive
stayed in touch with several of the naturals with whom I enjoyed such hedonistic days at
college.
Needless to say, I still share a very close professional relationship with Mirabelle, and she
and I spend time together each day firing ideas around and coming up with new projects.
This book is a combination of that research, my own personal college-days experience,
that of my friends, and Mirabelles uniquely feminine input
as well as key anthropological concepts, basic human psychology, social dynamics,
quantum physics, and excerpts from various Eastern philosophies (most notably, Zen
Buddhism.)

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Where applicable, I have also included specific viewpoints from colleagues in the field
of dating and social progression, and have included my own personal suggestions on
whether I believe these viewpoints will work for you or not.
The resulting book contains what I consider to be some of our best and most potent advice
on what it takes to attain, consistently and without effort, the true elite of first-rate women:
women who are the total package.
How do I know it works?
Because not only has it worked for ME, and my troupe of natural friends back on the
West Coast (most of whom have now read the book, vetted it for accuracy, and suggested
additions)
but Ive actually seen it work for other guys.
Not to mention, Mirabelles given it her personal seal of approval (and the woman is a
professional dating coach. Cmon, now.)
After wed instructed my East Coast friends in the naturals methodology, we saw their
behavior around women undergo a subtle, but fundamental, transformation.
Im not talking about the kind of transformation that requires hours of study, memorizing of
tricks and techniques, and rote-learning of routines
Im talking about the kind of quantum shift that only comes about when an underlying
perspective has been radically altered.
The kind of shift that can occur instantaneously and bequeath instantaneous changes
and benefits for those who experience it.
This book will teach you what it takes to experience that transformation, and become
radically and consistently successful with women.

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It will do this by, yes, supplying you with principles that you can apply to your own
experiences and interactions with women
and also by awakening you to the counterintuitive and paradoxical ways of both
women, and the science of attraction itself.
Ill say it again: counterintuitive and paradoxical.
Am I saying that women are counterintuitive and paradoxical?
Of course not.
Im sure that, to each other, they seem very logical and reasonable indeed.
But for the sake of learning quickly and efficiently, it must be said that, although women
themselves arent necessarily counterintuitive OR paradoxical in nature, what works with
women generally is.
A simple fact is that, frequently, when it comes to women, what works is very often
contrary to what we think will work.
In other words, its counterintuitive.
Other aspects of the part of your life known as 'being successful with women' are
obscure yet obvious: that is, until we are enlightened to the fact of their existence and
their effectiveness, we are utterly oblivious to the basic truths that they signify.
But after were awoken to the existence of these facts, and have witnessed for ourselves
the effects that they create, we slap ourselves on the head and say, Of course! How is it
possible that I have not yet figured this out for myself?
Those facts may be initially obscure - but then, once the curtain's been lifted, they become
utterly obvious to us, and permeate the very fabric of our awareness.

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That clarity of existence then fundamentally alters our perception of, and manner of being,
'successful with women' ever after.
What Im getting at here is that a lot of this stuff is specialized and esoteric in the extreme
(meaning that you must consciously study the field in order to be fully aware of its
intricacies), while other aspects are broadly applicable to your experiences with women in
general.
It's a mixed bag.
And so, some of the information contained within these pages will be 'obvious' to you
once it's been pointed out. And some of it may sound odd, or perhaps even ridiculous
(that's the counterintuitive part.)
I'm giving you this 'disclaimer' ahead of time so that you know and remember that
keeping an open mind is essential if you're going to break through your self-imposed
barriers to success with women, and actually grasp the kind of new perspective that will
allow you to realize your social potential. ('You mean you can just walk up to a woman
like that, start talking to her, and then kiss her?')
Likely, you will also find that most ideas in this book are applicable not only to your
enterprises with women, but also with life in general.

HOW THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU


Its been my personal experience that, once you get the part of your life sorted that relates
to women and dating, most if not all other aspects of your life will then fall into line
with equal ease.
Its pretty hard to be good at meeting and attracting women without also being an effective
networker, a good communicator, an interesting and creative person, and an all-round
well-balanced, successful guy.

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Something that youll learn more about in this book is the fact that like begets like: the
more you accumulate of something, the more of it you attract to yourself.
In this context, the subtext is that the more successful you become with women, the more
successful you become in all areas of your life.
Like begets like.
It's the Law of Attraction. (If you want to know more about how this works, or if you doubt
my word, go read The Dancing Wu Li Masters, by Gary Zukav. It will literally boggle your
mind.)

Mirabelles Contribution
To avoid any confusion about whose voice it is youre going to be hearing throughout this
book, Id like to clear up exactly how it is that Mirabelle contributed to this book.
She and I did a lot of research together for this. We both spoke to a lot of people, analyzed
many different situations, and conducted various interviews and studies together. We also
spent a LOT of time 'in the field', watching and analyzing social interactions and coaching
guys on what to do to get RESULTS.
So technically, I suppose this book should have been written with a we voice rather than
an I voice.
However, Ive read books in the past that use this technique, and it always reads really
weirdly to me. We believe that We always say that
I just dont like it.
(And neither does Mirabelle.)
So I am the one who has actually written the book; the I perspective is mine. However,
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its from both of our perspectives and collective experiences that the book is coming from.

One Last Thing


Mirabelle and I would like to congratulate you on your decision to take charge of this area
of your life. It is not easy to acknowledge to yourself that that part of your life known as
meeting and attracting women is somewhat lacking.
I applaud both your courage and your sagacity in deciding to actively make a difference to
your present self the one who is learning to be great with women - and your future self
- the one who will be great with women.
This is an exciting journey. I look forward to helping you on your way. This book will be
your guide.
Read it, absorb the principles and precepts contained within, and your outlook on women
will undergo a massive, lasting, and positive transformation.
Your success with women will undergo something very similar.
I reiterate: sometimes you may find this stuff hard to grasp; at other times it may seem
almost simplistic to you.
Neither reaction is better, its simply part of taking a balanced approach to understanding
and internalizing what is essentially a vast and intricately complex aspect of life on this
planet.
Meeting, attracting, and dating the women of your choice is ultimately both immensely
complex and immensely simple. When you allow an understanding of the skills involved
to permeate your world and your consciousness, it will empower you and enable personal
growth of a kind that you have never conceived of before.
We applaud you.
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How this book works


This book is constructed around four interrelated motifs.
These are the underlying principles that you must internalize and master in order to
succeed in your goal of being consistently, hugely successful with women from the top
echelons of quality and desirability.
Your mind must be open and aware of the existence of these principles in order for you to
absorb the following chapters to the greatest effect.
In short, these principles are:
THE WORTHIEST MEN ATTRACT THE BEST WOMEN.
Do you desire superior-quality women?
Would you like to enjoy massive success with the kinds of women you never thought it
possible to get the women who are not only PHYSICALLY beautiful, but whose exterior
beauty is literally OUTSHONE by the depth, warmth, and beauty of their personality,
charm, mystique, intellect, and femininity?
The kind of women who have it all?
Heres a basic fact of life for you: the upper echelons of success, in any shape or form
success in business, an outstanding body, social success does not come to those who
have not earned their right to it.
In order for you to successfully attract intensely desirable women into your life, you must
become a man who is worthy of being with such women.
Intensely desirable women have lots of options. They dont need to settle for anyone whos
less than. They rightly feel that they deserve the best.

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Thats why FAKING it, and role-playing, and manipulation, and general trickery, do NOT
work if youre out to get the cream. You need to BE the best if you want to GET the best.
This theme will surface again and again throughout this book. You will come to see how
all aspects of how you live your life will dramatically affect the success that you enjoy with
women.
TRANSFORMATION.
The methodology behind true, ongoing success with women is not about 'tricks' and
'techniques'.
Its not about scraping through each interaction, buoyed only by your knowledge of the
strategies that other masterminds have coined before you.
Its not about plagiarizing other peoples ideas and acting like a new you that someone
else thinks you ought to be in order to get women.
Its about transforming yourself, authentically.
Its about becoming the guy who doesnt need to act the technique - because he is the
technique.
Grasp the ability to apply this principle to your life, and you will become the guy who
soars through every social interaction with ease, originality, elan, and wit.
You will tap into your own inner source of unique and IRRESISTIBLE social dynamism.
Transformation is about changing your perspective. When your perspective changes, so
does the way you view the world and so does the way you think. Your behavior, and
success, follows close behind.
BEGIN ON THE INSIDE.

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Its best if you dont rush straight out and try to improve yourself in the field from scratch.
A simple decision to improve is a huge step forwards, but it in itself does not represent the
attainment of your end-goal.
You must first master your beliefs and attitudes - what's happening on the inside - and then
venture out to where the women are.
EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE SLOWLY.
Some men believe that the only way to improve is to push yourself hugely and take
massive risks.
I am not one of those men.
Taking huge risks is not crucial to your success; in fact, its a bad idea. Some risk-taking is
necessary and useful without it, youd never improve.
But this isnt about scaring yourself witless with big risks; its about taking a little risk,
getting comfortable with that, then taking another little risk.
Progress doesnt have to be painful - when it hurts to do something, it's not going to work.
Period. Its hard to stick with something when it feels awful and scary.
The most lasting and beneficial progress that you will experience is also the progress that
doesnt feel bad to implement.
What does this mean for you?
Simple: I'm not going to be asking you to 'just do it', to force yourself to approach a
supermodel in the first 3 seconds of seeing her, or try to get a woman's information after 5
minutes of conversation.
It's going to be more about figuring out what works for you, and pushing yourself to
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improve in a way that makes sense to you and feels good.


It's not necessary to demoralize yourself in order to grow as a man. Period.

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A QUICK WORD ON MY OWN STYLE


In this book, you will not find any 'scientific terms' for what we're discussing.
No PUA-thesaurus was used in the making of this book. No B.S. will be tolerated, either.
I realize that, because of this, this book differs GREATLY from a large number of the
resources available to you right now. Please don't let this difference dismay you.
In my 'other role' as an online dating coach, I receive numerous emails from men of all
ages who want to know whether the dearth of acronyms and irritatingly esoteric shoptalk
in my coaching emails and newsletters means that I'm creating my own 'style' of 'pickup'.
First of all: no, this isn't necessarily a 'new style'.
In fact, I think this is possibly the oldest and most effective 'style' there is, because there
are no 'techniques' involved in what I teach - not unless you count 'genuine authenticity',
becoming an all-round top-notch guy, and dealing with at women on a case-by-case basis
as a 'technique'.
And second of all, I'm not a 'pickup artist' because I'm not about picking up women in
order to have sex with them.
I'm about teaching guys how to become truly superior men, and, as a natural spin-off from
that, teaching them how to have top-quality relationships with all sorts of people.
And yeah, that includes women, for sure; but when you're 'good with women', you tend
to have strong enough social skills to be 'good with everybody'.
More hair-splitting: when I say 'relationships', I don't necessarily mean 'long-term
relationships'.
It doesn't matter how long or intense you want your relationships with women to be.
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It is possible to have numerous top-quality, short-term sexual relationships with women,


just as it's possible to have one, monogamous, top-quality relationship with one special
woman.
And as for the lack of in-the-field dialect
I'm not a big fan of using jargonese. I mean, come on now. Does creating lengthy,
consonant-saturated acronyms and three-hyphen'd title tags for simple social actions
REALLY help you increase your success with women?
I realize that playing the 'naming game' can help the beginner to diminish his natural
sense of panic when surveying, for the first time, the chaotic maelstrom that is social
interaction with attractive women.
It's kind of like the first pioneers traveling across the American continent. I imagine that
Lieutenant Abert, for example, on his trip across what is now the Texas panhandle, felt
comforted by his ability to lessen the vast unfamiliarity of the frontier by thinking up and
allocating names for hitherto-unseen strangenesses.
But at the same time, creating an elitist 'Dungeons and Dragons'-type environment,
characterized by technical jargon and an 'inner sanctum' mentality, does no good for
anyone who's interested in genuinely improving their skills, not just getting a kick out of
labeling things (and on a more practical note, it can cause some raised eyebrows when
people overhear you discussing your 'DHVs on SHBs during the opener of the emotionalprogression model transitioning from qualification to comfort-building while pacing her
reality using the GM-style etc.)
I don't see any benefit in deliberately creating an 'us v.s. them' mentality, acting
supercilious, treating women as targets, or getting all self-righteous and packing in the
acronym-ese just because we're figuring out how to polish our values, attitudes, beliefs,
and social skills.
Yes, 'being successful with women' is an absolutely ESSENTIAL part of life
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and if you doubt the inherent correctness of this statement, I challenge you to find me
a chronically-single male who honestly believes he's enjoying life to the fullest of his
potential
but really, that's all the MORE reason not invent a new dictionary while we're at it.
Let's keep it simple, gentleman.
(A quick note while we're on the subject, though: I do, in fact, doff my figurative cap to
Mystery while I'm at it. He is the one 'PUA' whose love of jargonese I can accept, because
he's the one who invented it all. 'Nuff said.)

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SECTION ONE
ATTRACTION FROM THE INSIDE OUT
In this, the first section, we're going to be figuring out something that the more
commercial-style 'PUAs' call 'inner game'.
Another way of looking at it might be to say that we're going to figure out why what you
think matters and then, make sure that your beliefs are formulated in a manner that is
immediately congruent with your lasting and consistent success with women.
Why devote a whole section to this?
Simple. Because if you're out there trying to have fun, meet excellent women, and attract
them, then a huge part of that I would dare to say, the BIGGEST part of that - is actually
being an excellent guy yourself.
The sort of guy whom great women are naturally, and powerfully, drawn to.
And it's kinda hard to be that superior guy if, all the time, you're trying to project an
image of authentic quality while on the inside, you're hobbled by a set of beliefs and
attitudes that are psychologically crippling you.
Most guys who are relatively unacquainted with success with women have these sorts of
unhealthy limiting beliefs.
I'll give you a few of the most common ones, so you know what I'm talking about:

I'm too short/fat/balding to attract great women.

Women are offended by guys who want sex.

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All women want relationships. It is impossible for a woman to be happy with a


sexual relationship unless it is also a committed, long-term relationship.
If I'm open about the fact that I don't want an exclusive relationship, she wont be
interested.
Good-looking men are always going to be more successful with women than I am.
I'm not rich enough to sustain the lifestyle that truly desirable women want.
All good-looking women are bitchy, airheaded, and love to shoot men down in
flames.
The kind of woman that I want would never be attracted to somebody like me.
There is something wrong with desirable women: they are impossible to get.

You get the idea.


Here's something else interesting: a lot of guys are extremely harsh in their own self-talk,
and yet they don't even realize that they are.
Others honestly believe that it doesn't really make all that much difference how you talk to
yourself; that what you say to yourself doesn't really matter all that much.
NO! This is WRONG!
The kinds of things you say to yourself, and the kinds of things you believe about yourself,
have a MASSIVE impact on the kinds of results that you will or will not get with the
women of your choice.
It's that simple.

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And here's why: it's because of something known as The Law of Attraction.
What you believe truly sets the limits of your behavior - and, of course, the results that you
get.
You attract what you believe a.k.a. what you appreciate, appreciates. This is a simple
law of physics.
So, if youre spending all your mental energy berating yourself for being unsuccessful
with women, or undesirable, the Universe will agree with you. It will have no choice but
to support you in your beliefs.
I was reading a book called The Secrets of Attraction last week, by a woman called
Sandra Ann Taylor, and she spoke at length on this subject. Her way of putting it was, The
Universe always speaks your language. (p58)
If your own personal language is centered around how youll never be successful and
how youre too XXX to get the women you want, the Universe will hear and understand
you and it will support those beliefs.
Your beliefs are a major part of your 'strategy' for success. It's a simple fact of life: you
attract what you believe. Your beliefs create your own reality.
Imagine this. Let's say you want to get into a fight with someone, and you want to really
kick his ass.
If you approached him with these thoughts going through your head: 'Oh man - I sure
hope this guy doesn't whip my ass. He's a lot bigger and heavier than me ... and he looks
a lot more experienced, too. Man, this could get ugly. And everyone's watching, too ... I
sure hope don't screw this up...'
... those thoughts would SCREAM themselves out from your posture, your body language,
your expression, even the way you TALKED to him.

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In this particular situation, you'd probably be approaching the guy in question with your
shoulders slumped, your chin down defensively, with your eyes darting around all over the
place - generally telegraphing that you had no belief in yourself and that you were afraid of
what 'might' happen.
Guess what?
You end up giving your opponent the psychological advantage, and you'd probably either
a) get laughed at, or b) get laughed at and then man-slapped.
Either way, you lose. And to a large extent, it was your MINDSET that contributed to that
loss.
Now imagine the same situation, but imagine that you're totally caught up in the moment.
Your emotions are rushing through you, you're pumped, and all that's in your head is the
need to kick this guy to the kerb.
You're too busy visualizing how sweet it'll feel to win the fight with this guy, too busy
imagining the feeling of your fists crunching bone, for you to even think about failure.
You're totally pumped up.
What do you think would happen now?
I'll give you an idea: it'd probably pan out a little something like this ...
You rush at the guy with your fists clenched and your jaw jutting, veins bulging.
You grab his table and wrench it over, spraying glass and liquor every which way.
You shove your face right into his, open your mouth wide wide wide as if you're going
to rip a mouthful out of his jugular right then and there, and scream, 'Outside, RIGHT
NOW!!'

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... probably with a few more expletives thrown in than that, but you get the picture.
See the difference? And NOTHING CHANGED in that example except for the WAY in
which YOU APPROACHED the situation.
Any outcome is possible. All you need is a simple equation: belief, plus desire. (Note: I
didnt invent this equation. I first came across it in Napoleon Hills Think And Grow Rich.
It has, however, had a massive and lasting effect upon my own life as it will on yours.)
EXTRA CREDIT: To really get this fact of life, go down to your local bookstore and buy a
copy of Think And Grow Rich. Read it. Do it.
Your beliefs matter.
And yet the wisdom of choosing smart beliefs is one that evades most men.
Most guys try to be 'realistic' about a situation.
They talk about 'not getting their hopes up'.
As in, 'Well, I'd better not get my hopes up too much. Realistically, she's probably already
been approached by X number of other dudes tonight, so really, I'm probably nothing
new. Id better not get my hopes up.'
It's like they're trying to prepare themselves for the worst by visualizing the worst.
This is a damned terrible strategy.
A guy who approaches a situation hesitantly, trying to 'prepare himself for the worst' is
NOT equipping himself properly for success.
It's just not smart.
Still doubt the veracity of thinking good thoughts? Check this out: not only did happy
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thinking keep Peter Pan afloat for his irritating journeys through Neverland, but they also
actually win Olympic Gold.
Yep, thats right. Actual, material success all thanks to the power of thinking big.
Here's an interesting fact for you: the coaches of Olympic athletes don't just focus on their
protg's physical progress. They know that real success comes from not only physical
strength, but psychological strength, too.
So they train their athletes to be as strong mentally as they are physically.
Do they 'toughen them up' by getting them to be 'realistic' and visualize how it would feel
to fail, so that they're 'not too disappointed' if and when it happens?
Hell, no.
They get them to visualize how it would feel to actually cross that finish line. And not
only that, but they get them to dwell on it. They get them to talk about it, imagine it in full,
vivid, 3-dimensional color, sound, and smell.
And you want to know the really spooky part?
The athletes who go ahead and think about winning - really visualize it - are statistically
more likely to win than those who do not.
Hmmmmmmmmmm!
What's going on here?
How can it be that simply imagining something can make it come true?
Does that mean that, if you sit down right now and start thinking about how it would
feel to be with your dream woman, that she's going to knock on your door in the next 24
hours?
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Well, no. Does imagining an Olympic gold medal mean that ones going to just drop
beneficently out of the stratosphere onto your lap? Of course not.
Those athletes still have to do all the physical hard yards that all Olympic athletes have to
do. They cant skimp on the training just because theyre thinking pretty thoughts. You still
have to do the hard yards.
But its when you combine the two that you get real results.
If you take the rest of the advice in this book, and then add to it the power of vivid
visualization, youre going to convey a massive and factual advantage upon yourself.
Fact: you attain a higher level of success and enlightenment by taking the focus off of your
current limitations, and placing it instead upon what you wish to attain.
In plain English: think about what you want. Imagine it in vivid detail. Dont hold back.
Dwelling on the 'bad' isn't going to help you here.
If youre a religious man, take comfort in the fact that the Book of Proverbs knows the
power of thoughts just as much as the Olympic coaches and I
As a man thinketh, so is he.
(Proverbs, 23:7.)
as does the Buddha:
With your thoughts, you make the world.
FACT: Your thoughts literally create your reality.
Furthermore: its literally impossible to attain a goal if you dont know what that goal is.
Deciding on what you want to achieve causes subliminal, unconscious changes in your
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brain physiology, which then affect your actions and your behavior on an unconscious
level. It literally begins to cause you to make progress towards your goal without even
realizing it.
You need to think about what you want, and spend TIME thinking about it.
I want you to get your hopes up as high as you possibly can. I want you to think about
where you want to be and who you want to be there with.
So here's what I suggest: take a moment, right now, and conjure up the most brilliant
vision of your future that's possible.
Think about where you want to go. What you want to accomplish. What kinds of
relationships you want to have.
Where do you want to be in one year? In five? In twenty?
Make this vision as huge, as wonderful, as vibrant and brilliant as you possibly can, and
then take steps to move yourself towards creating that vision for real.
Some food for thought:
Claim yourself to be the thing desired... All that is asked of you is to accept your desire. If
you dare claim it, you will express it. (Neville, Your Faith Is Your Fortune, p.33)
I like this quote. It really resonates with one of the Universal Truths: the fact that without
the vision, there is no chance of you ever attaining it.
Or, put positively: the more vividly you create your vision, the more eloquent and neartangible it is, the more likely you are to embody that vision for yourself.
Look:
If you were to sit there right now and picture yourself hooking up with Gisele Bundchen in
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the next 2 years, there is no guarantee that this vision will come true.
But if you dont even bother to come up with that vision in the first place, then how will
you ever figure out what steps to take to embody it?
You need to imagine it first for there to be any hope of its ever coming true.
Now here's something else for you to think about: the fact that you are the only person
who has access to your thoughts.
I know that some guys shrink from thinking about what they really want. They're
embarrassed to even think about it. They think, 'Who am I kidding? This is never going to
happen. I should just get real.'
And so they never think of what they want to do, they just mull along letting life deal out
the cards randomly
and they never really end up with what they want.
They always feel vaguely dissatisfied.
They don't know what they really want - but they still know that what they have ain't it.
Well, guess what? If you think you're going to look stupid by conjuring grandiose visions
for the future, at least the only person you'll look stupid to is yourself.
You are the only person who has access to your thoughts. Why not make those thoughts as
fantastic as possible? Why not choose visions that are as inspiring and brilliant as possible?
It takes the same amount of 'mind power' to think of great thoughts as it does to think of
average ones. I suggest you make the smart choice.
So, what happens once you've got some kick-ass visions of the future for yourself?

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And what are you supposed to do if you don't really believe it's possible to attain those
visions?
Good point. A vision, without the belief that you can make it manifest, is nothing but a
daydream.
Lets talk about how to alter your beliefs.

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Setting Your Beliefs: the Two-Part Process


OK.
So we've established that negative self-talk is a great way to court failure and mediocrity.
And we've established that replacing that negative self-talk with a firm set of solid, positive
belief and attitudes is the first step in attaining the kind of lifestyle that you wish to lead.
The question that naturally comes next is twofold:

1. How do I rid myself of negative self-talk?

and:

2. How do I make myself believe what I want to believe?

Let's take this one step at a time.

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Part One: Ridding Yourself Of Negative Self-Talk


First things first.
Dealing with this issue is your first step towards shedding the illusions of averageness and
mediocrity that are dragging you down right now.
Thats right ILLUSIONS.
You've probably picked up at some point that everyone is plagued by the 'inner critic',
right? We all have negative self-talk and irritating, confidence-deflating thoughts that go
through our heads.
There's some good news and some bad news.
I like to get the worst over with first, so here's the bad news: there is no way to get rid of
that self-talk.
You are always going to have a voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough,
that other guys are better-looking than you, that women aren't attracted to 'your type', that
you need to lose some weight, whatever your own personal 'Achilles' heel' might be.
Those thoughts are here to stay. Theyre normal and you may as well not waste your
time trying to fight them off. Anxiety and worry is just a part of the human condition.
EVERYONE has those thoughts and YOU CANNOT get rid of them.
Now, here's the good news: first of all, having those thoughts DOESNT MEAN THEYRE
TRUE.
Theyre simply a part of how your brain works. You dont have to listen to them.
And secondly: even though you cant get RID of them, you can still free yourself from the
burden of those thoughts and beliefs.
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There's no messing around with therapists, reaching out to your 'inner child', or struggling
to combat the 'Peter Pan Syndrome' (or any of the other so-called 'aspects of modern
manhood' that swamp the development shelves in your local bookstore.)
I have neither the time nor the inclination for that sort of mumbo-jumbo, and, I suspect,
neither do you.
Instead, I prefer to USE WHAT WORKS. And here it is.
There are two primary ways of writing over that internal monologue.

Firstly: Doing Your Affirmations


These are an incredibly powerful way of reprogramming the internal workings of your
mind. Internationally-acclaimed speaker, author, and innovative thinker John Kehoe
suggests that we think of our own internal monologue as being like a tape-player.
(Remember those?)
For most of us, our own internal tape-players are repeating loops of frustration, ineptness,
upset, and overwhelm back to us.
Your affirmations are the thing that will OVERWRITE that tape and re-record it with
beliefs that are directly helpful to your cause of being the great guy who naturally attracts
great women.
This is something that I do every single day. It has helped me personally get over some
CRIPPLING beliefs, and it has helped me become the kind of strong MAN who meets and
attracts women EVERY DAY.
If I hadnt overcome those beliefs of mine that were HOBBLING my progress, I doubt that
Id be the guy I am today or that Id be enjoying the kind of SUCCESS that I enjoy today.

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(I like to do mine out loud. The physical reverberation, and the sensation of actually
hearing yourself say these things, and the feeling of speaking them out loud, is much more
powerful than simply thinking them. I suggest you do the same.)
Heres what affirmations are:
The essence of 'doing your affirmations' is to tell yourself repeatedly that you are already
experiencing that which youd like to experience.
Phrase your affirmations positively, personally, and in the present tense and always
speak them out loud whenever possible. This is the language of the subconscious mind.
So for example, if you were to say, 'I'll never be unsuccessful with women again', this
would have NO value as an affirmation, because the subconscious mind can't differentiate
between positive and negative.
It doesn't respond to statements framed in the negative tense ('I'll never be'), and it doesn't
respond to the past or the future tense ('I will').
You need to tell your subconscious mind what you DO want, not what you DON'T; and
you must frame it as though what you want is happening right now.
So, you could say: 'Women love me and I love taking risks.'
Or, 'I am hugely successful with women everywhere.'
Got it?
Of course you do.
But just to make sure, heres a little exercise for you. Dont forget: you can read and read
and read until you turn blue in the face (and in two other, much more relevant, aspects of
your body.)

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But you wont experience the magic that unveils itself in your personal life and with
women until you begin to actually implement the suggestions that Im making.
So here goes: your first Actionable Attraction Challenge.

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #1


You are going to come up with 2 affirmations that resonate with you personally.
By resonate, I mean that they make sense to you, and that they create an emotional
feeling that this applies to me within you.
One affirmation is going to be general, designed to wipe the overall negative
programming that is affecting you generally; and one is going to be specific, designed to
overcome a specific aspect of yourself that troubles you.
Here is one of my own generalized affirmations:
Every day in every way I am getting better and better and better.
And here is one of my own specific affirmations:
I love how women love to flirt with me, and I love taking risks.
Of course, these dont have to be your affirmations. They are simply what work for me,
and address issues that I used to sense in my own character (such as the fear of taking a
risk.)
NOTE: I no longer feel those weak spots. I dont have them any more. How cool is that?
And its largely because I PUT THE WORK IN by spending just 5 minutes every morning,
saying my affirmations out loud. Its NOT that hard to do.
As far as setting your own affirmations goes, think of an overall attitude that youd like to
have and an overall reality youd like to experience regularly. This will form the basis for
your general affirmation.
Now think of a specific problem of yours that youd like to overcome. This will form the
basis for your specific affirmation.

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NOTE: Dont expect affirmations to work instantaneously.


Kehoe describes the effect like so: think of your mind as a bucket of water. Think of your
affirmations as being like drops of red dye.
Every day, one or two drops drizzle into the bucket.
Over time, a faint tinge of red grows. Each day, the red tinge grows more and more
profound until after a couple of months, the bucket is densely packed with red pigment.
Not a hint of the original translucency remains.
This is what happens to your mind, and your beliefs, as you do your affirmations over time.
It takes 90 days of consistent affirmation-practice for that red dye (your affirmations) to
really take a hold on your mind. So for the next 90 days, you are going to spend 5 minutes
repeating your own two affirmations - out loud - as soon as you wake up in the morning.

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Secondly: Get Into The Moment


Secondly: I am very pleased to introduce you a very basic, but incredibly far-reaching
concept: the concept of being in the present moment.
Bear with me, gentlemen. There's more to it than meets the eye.
This is a technique that's propagated by one of the most influential thinkers of our time:
Eckhart Tolle (author of The Power of Now).
It's also something that internationally-acclaimed speakers and authors Ariel and Shya
Kane (authors of Working On Yourself Doesnt Work) draw heavily on in their teachings.
The first step to grasping this concept is this: you must understand that you are not your
mind.
Most people dont get this. But in fact, the mind is nothing but an egoic voice in your
head that creates noise in the form of ceaseless babbling.
This is the voice that drags you down and points out your shortcomings.
This voice is actually a SEPARATE ENTITY from you.
Think of it this way: you can hear the voice in your head, right? And you have the ability to
think about it, analyze it, and listen to it.
Therefore, that voice is a separate entity from yourself. There cant be a Talker who is also a
Listener; it just doesnt work.
So You the real you is actually SEPARATE from that little voice. You are not your mind.
(Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, p11.)
But because most people dont realize that their mind is actually SEPARATE from
themselves, they allow it to dictate the terms of their reality.
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They take what their mind says as the gospel, rather than viewing it as simply the egobased, fear-based little voice that it is.
As humans, our minds are all 'past/present machines'. They are constantly producing
thoughts. And you free yourself from the power that those thoughts have to shape your
attitudes, behavior, and, inevitably, the results that you get, by recognizing that you are not
your mind.
The thoughts that your mind produces are just that: articulations from an entity that is not
you, that is separate from you, and has nothing to do with who you really are.
You are not your mind.
So when those thoughts come whizzing into your head, polluting your consciousness and
your enjoyment of the now with concepts such as 'I'm not funny enough,' 'I'll never be
popular', 'women don't like me', 'I hate my job', etc
all you have to do is neutrally acknowledge that those thoughts are there without
resisting them (i.e. struggling against them, protesting them, saying, Thats not true)
and then simply send them on their way. (Ariel and Shya Kane, Working On Yourself
Doesnt Work, p27.)
The concept of 'sending your thoughts away' is one that's rooted in Zen Buddhism.
You may have heard of it before: the concept of 'sending it down the river in a cardboard
box.'
It's a 'mind trick' that's designed to assist you in the actual process of mentally dismissing
cognitive flotsam and jetsam: it gives you something 'concrete' to anchor the process to.
The act of giving your mind an 'action' to anchor the process of disposal of unwanted
thoughts to is very powerful.
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I think you'll find that it's much more effective than simply saying to yourself, 'I dismiss
that thought.'
Try it - remember, nobody's watching. Do not discount the power of an open mind.

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #2: Send It


Down The River In A Cardboard Box
Heres how this one works
Along comes a thought.
Maybe its Shell never talk to me or I wont know what to say or Im not XXXX enough.
Acknowledge the thought.
(I personally do this by simply thinking, 'Huh, I'm having that thought again.')
Then, imagine that you are physically holding the thought in your hands.
Still holding it, you place it firmly in a small cardboard box. Tie the box up (or duct-tape it,
as you prefer), and walk with it to the bank of a river.
(The river represents your consciousness.)
Bend down and place the box on the river. Watch it as it bobs there, floating, for a
moment.
Now watch as the current begins to nibble at the edges of the box. Bobbing faster, it drifts
out into the center of the river.
The current grasps it now, and swirls it away down the river.
You glimpse it one last time, bobbing in the rapids, before it whirls off around a bend in
the river and is gone.
The river has taken the box - and the thought that it contains - away.
You are alone again with the river of your consciousness.
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Part Two: Instilling the Beliefs That You Want


And now for number two: how to make yourself believe what you want to believe.
First of all: you need to figure out which beliefs are most productive and helpful for you.
A few suggestions:
1. Everything is all right just as it is.
When you're not struggling against how things really are, you're not inflicting the pain of
reality denial upon yourself.
For example, right now, you want to better your skills with meeting and attracting women.
In order for you to become better at this area of your life, you must first accept that your
reality, right now, is what it is.
Be OK with that. This is where youre at right now.
You're not berating yourself for not being better. You're not struggling against what is. You
are simply recognizing that where you are right now isn't necessarily where you want to
be, and that's OK.
This isn't about trying to be happy when you're not, or telling yourself that you are content
with what you have if you arent; it's simply accepting that this is where you're at right
now and that that's all right.
The ability to recognize and accept reality is your jumping-off point for greater
achievement, greater success, greater happiness, and true fulfillment as a man.
2. I am worthy, and deserving of what I want.
Many men approach the women that they desire with a groveling, supplicating attitude.
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They feel unworthy, and show this belief in their mannerisms, their speech, their body
language, and their social interactions.
When you don't feel that you truly deserve what you want, you will retain a hesitant and
overawed attitude. You will hog-tie yourself with self-imposed limits.
When you believe that it is your right as a man to get what it is that you truly want, your
entire attitude is suffused with confidence, strength, ease, masculinity, and dominance.
3. I am a deeply masculine man and women love me.
Women love masculine men.
When you feel like a man, and know deeply within yourself that its OK to be a man, you
lose much of the anxiety and nervousness that tends to put women OFF.
4. Women love me and I have a lot to offer.
You have a lot to offer any woman. You have the ability to make her life SO MUCH better
than it is right now. She may not know this yet, of course, but thats OK.
The point is that YOU arent the one wondering whether youre good enough for her.
Instead, youre the one evaluating her to see if shes good enough for you.
**
Of course, these are simply 'beginner beliefs' designed to help you along your way. If you
have anything else you'd like to include, by all means do so.
For these beliefs to truly affect your life and to assist you in achieving your goals, you must
introduce them to your everyday life.
Simply 'deciding to believe something' isn't enough; you need techniques to assist you in
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internalizing these beliefs to the point where they are a fundamental aspect of who you
are.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is an excellent methodology for changing the
structure of your beliefs.
NLP is an alternative to psychotherapy, and is a recognized method of fundamentally
altering thought-patterns, instinctive reactions, and both conscious and unconscious
thinking.
Essentially, it's a form of waking self-hypnosis, in which you use certain key statements
and terms in order to retrain your brain your attitudes your behaviors and, in turn,
your results.
The first step is to access your subconscious mind and alter your fundamental belief
structure in your favor.
Here are 2 simple techniques for doing just that.
1. AFFIRM.
The essence of 'doing your affirmations' is to tell yourself repeatedly that you are already
experiencing that which youd like to experience.
Remember to phrase your affirmations positively, personally, and in the present tense
and always speak them out loud whenever possible.
2. VISUALIZE.
The basis for this concept is that the subconscious mind does not differentiate between
what is real and what is clearly and vividly imagined.
Someone reading this is secretly wondering whether this is all just a load of hot air.

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In case that someone is you, get this:


Ever heard of The Basketball Study?
Recently, a study was performed upon the usefulness and practicality of visualization as a
means of positively altering your life in REAL and MEASURABLE WAYS.
It was decided that the study would be based upon something easily definable and
empirical in nature (in other words, its easy to see whether a difference has been made or
not, and measure how much of a difference was made.)
The game of basketball was decided upon (mostly because its easy to tell from the number
of points scored whether there has been an improvement or not.)
3 groups of basketball players participated in this study. One was the control group; one
was the shooting hoops group; and one was the visualization group.
The control group did no practice at all over the following six weeks.
The shooting hoops group practiced thrice weekly, as per usual.
And the visualization group did no actual practice, but instead visualized themselves
shooting hoops and winning games for the duration of a normal practice session, three
times per week.
After the six weeks were up, tests were performed.
The control group was no better (and in fact, scored 10% worse than normal after 6 weeks
with no practice.)
The shooting hoops group did 25% better than their original score.
And the visualization group did 24% better than their original score.

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The group whod just sat around, doing no basketball practice at all except within their
own minds, improved 24% over six weeks just one percent less than the group who
physically practiced three times per week!
If thats not enough to prove to you that your mind really is worth something and that
you dont literally have to physically do something in order to reap massive benefits then
nothing will.

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #3


Know this: if you can imagine something in vivid detail, you can convince your
subconscious mind that you can achieve it. What you can conceive of, you can achieve.
Once your subconscious mind recognizes this belief, your conscious mind recognizes it;
and that's when you begin to reap the benefits in your everyday life.
Heres what youre going to do: hold a precise and detailed image in your head of what
you want and where you want to go. Use all of your senses. Imagine it vividly.
Do this every morning, for 5 minutes (before or after your affirmations) for the next 90
days.

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A QUICK WORD ON GAME-PLAYING AND


MANIPULATION
Of course, you could ask yourself, Why even bother changing my beliefs? Why does it
matter what I think, as long as I act a certain way?
Thats a fair question. And everyone has different views when it comes to the answer.
For example, there are a fair number of guys out there in the dating and attraction
industry who are making an absolute killing teaching their acolytes how to fake it til you
make it
in other words, they favor the precept that it doesnt really matter how youre feeling
deep down. All you need to do is act a certain way, and you will get the exact same results
that you would if you were operating out of a place of genuine authenticity.
After awhile (so the theory goes), you get so used to role-playing this new set of behaviors
that you actually begin to take them on for real.
Im not a fan of this point of view.
And heres why.
When you focus on acting a certain way, and on cultivating this new set of behaviors and
actions that are quite alien to your natural personality, your life and your attitude towards
socializing and women become very compartmentalized.
Being great with women is no longer a skill, its more like a mask that you put on when
you head out at night to pick up some women.
This divisiveness doesnt go very far towards actually creating the solid, high-caliber
personality and lifestyle that you actually need, if youre going to get high-caliber women
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and keep them around for the long haul.


Of course, if your focus is simply just to get some women, or any women, then faking it
til you make it or assuming the guise of a great guy will probably be enough to get you
some phone numbers and some low-to-medium quality women.
But if what you really want is the cream of the crop, if you really want those totalpackage women who are not only smart and physically stunning, but also beautiful on the
inside, then youre going to need to polish yourself up in a more genuine sense.
So, if youre OK with settling for whatever you can get, then you may as well just put this
book down right now. Seriously. Im not here to encourage you to just get any women,
because all thats going to do is court a LIFESTYLE OF MEDIOCRITY. Id rather not waste
my time teaching you how to do that.
Besides, allow me to flex my prophesy-muscles for a quick moment: if you go out and start
getting what you can get, as opposed to setting your sights high and actually choosing the
right women for you, then I can tell you EXACTLY where youre going to end up.
Youre going to end up in one of those mediocre relationships of convenience, where you
feel like youve just somehow stumbled into this thing without even really meaning to
like it just happened.
And then youll start feeling resentful and cramped-up inside and youll suffer from a
permanent sense of the grass is greener syndrome.
Settling for women just because theyll have you is NOT the path to greatness. And, as
it so happens, in order to attract truly fantastic women, you need to BE pretty fantastic
yourself.
No trickery required just authenticity.
And by the way. You know how much you hate it when women pretend to be something
theyre not in order to impress you?
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Its called game-playing, and I bet you know what Im talking about here.
My personal pet hate is when they pretend to be busy/more popular than they actually are
just to make you want them more.
Ive also encountered women who act really aloof or distant, or seem really
unenthusiastic, or never ever return your phonecalls - even when they really genuinely
like you - just so youll think theyre worth chasing.
Anyway, you get the point. We all hate it when women act phony, just to create a certain
impression and just to manipulate a certain outcome into place.
I bet you know where Im going with this
When YOU act like someone youre not, just to impress some woman, sooner or later shes
going to figure out what the real deal is and then you really will look pathetic.
Oh, and just before we wrap this up, heres one more reason why I do not advocate gameplaying or manipulation of any kind just to get the girl
When you feel like youve got to assume a fake persona in order to be well-liked by the
opposite sex, then youre sending a very powerful message to yourself that the real you
isnt good enough.
That has long-standing effects for things like your confidence and your self-image, both of
which are absolutely crucial to developing the real, no B.S. kind of style that will see you
going places with women.
Game-playing isnt the way to go, if you want to get real results that stand the test of time.

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FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER


Its well worth your while to figure out exactly what you would bring to a relationship with
a woman.
(Again, please remember that relationship, in the context of this book, simply means any
kind of personal interaction with a woman, no matter what the length.)
Most guys approach any kind of prospective relationship with a woman with a needy and
grasping mindset.
Their instinctive belief about themselves is that, basically, they have nothing to offer her
that she would particularly appreciate.
Usually, this belief is coupled with a matching belief that bases its truth on the perception
that shes already been approached by so many other guys, how could she possibly be
interested in me?
So theyre not approaching her from a position of strength. Theyre just trying to get what
they can while its available, and theyll be grateful for every last crumb of attention they
can get.
As a result, their attitude comes across as supplicative and spineless, and directly repels
the woman theyre attempting to get to know.
If you can figure out what you have to offer a woman, thats one step towards creating an
impregnable suit of confidence that will protect you, like armor, and will enable you over
time to enjoy relaxed, witty, entertaining conversations with genuinely desirable women.
And if you dont figure out what youve got to offer, well your future will most likely
consist of stumbling, nervous interactions with women where youre consistently gripped
by anxiety and a need to apologize for taking up their precious time with your inadequate
social attentions.

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Sound like an exaggeration?


Take a second and just think about it.
You, personally, have got some skills that, with a bit of polishing and/or the confidence
to unveil them in the right company some, or even most, women will really appreciate.
Maybe youre funny, or smart, or good-looking, or you cook a mean barbecue.
I dont know, obviously, what your personal strengths are - youll have to figure out what
youre good at on your own (but if you cant think of a single thing that a woman would
potentially enjoy about your company, then youve got more problems than I feel qualified
to assist you with.)
But think about it.
Seriously.
I suggest that you come up with at least 3 strengths that you feel solidly comfortable about,
and then add them to your affirmations (e.g. I am _____ and women love that about me.)
(If you need help remembering what the deal is with affirmations, go back to Actionable
Attraction Challenge #1 and redo it.)
Over time, this will go a LONG way towards not only building you up big-time to yourself,
but will also stop you from approaching women out of a needy, groveling mindset.
When you know youre bringing something UNIQUE and COOL to the table, you dont
have to do battle any more with that feeling that nothing you say or do matters because
shes not going to be interested anyway.
When you know WHY youd be a kick-ass asset to somebody elses life, youre that much
more likely to convince them of that fact, too. And, you get to feel powerful at the same
time. (But dont go getting cocky, now.)
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So: figure out what your strengths are. What qualities do you have that other people
tend to like about you? And which ones of those would be relevant to a WOMANS
perspective?
Figure out what your strengths are, and then make those strengths a prominent aspect of
your daily conversations with yourself.
If you have shaky self-esteem, or tend to be down on yourself, I STRONGLY suggest that
you add these strengths to your daily affirmations.
Do it.

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KNOW WHAT YOU WANT


OK, so now that youve figured out why exactly it is that youre a desirable guy, you need
to take that focus and direct it inward. You need to figure out what you want what your
objectives are here.
Easy, you say you want to meet and date more women.
Well, yeah. But thats obvious. I want you to figure out not only what you want in
generalized terms like that, but also to figure out what meeting and dating more women
actually means to you.
The meeting and dating part isnt the end-goal. Its a means to an end.
Whats the end goal that you want from all that dating?
To give you an idea of what Im talking about, here are some examples from previous
students:
- Someone to hang out with
- Someone to have sex with
- Someone to party with
- Someone to spend weekends with
- Someone to love
- Someone to marry
This is important.
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You need to know what you want, and you need to know why you want it.
This will help to keep you on track, and will make it that much easier for you to reach out
and get that prize.
Professional business coaches and executive success coaches know the value of this, and
make goal setting a regular part of their repertoire.
Thomas J. Watson, the original mastermind behind uber-company IBM, said that the
reason IBM became what it is today is because he had a very clear picture in his mind
of exactly what sort of company he wanted to build. He knew what sort of customers he
wanted, he knew what business ethics the company would have, he knew what it would
look like when it was done. It was this vision that enabled him to make it a reality.
In his own words, I knew that, in order to be that kind of company, we would have to start
acting like that kind of company right from the start. And thats how IBM got to where it is
today. (Napoleon Hill, Think And Grow Rich.)
The principles are exactly the same for everyone, no matter what field of endeavor youre
engaged in: if you have clear desires, and are able to articulate them to yourself, as well
as knowing why you want those things, its going to be that much easier for you to realize
those ambitions.
(And, itll stop you from piking out halfway through.)
So: figure out your objectives. Take a moment and daydream about it. What do you really
want here?
And now, think about why you want that.
By the way if you should encounter any self-doubt here, or hear yourself going, Nah, Ill
never be able to get that, just remember set your sights HIGH.

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There are no rules here. Nobodys sitting in on your thought processes. You should be
reaching high.
Let that negative voice say what it wants to say, dont struggle against it and then just
put it in the cardboard box and float it down the river and carry on thinking about what
you really want.
What would you need to attain in order for you to look back, one year from now, and
feel like the past year has been a success as far as meeting and attracting women is
concerned?

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THE NON-ROLE OF THE EGO IN ATTAINING


WHAT YOU WANT
Remember how, at the start of this book, I mentioned that some of the principles contained
within were based on things like Eastern philosophy and Zen Buddhism?
Well this is where some of that stuff applies.
If your motivation for meeting and dating more women is ego-related, meaning its about
YOU and making YOU feel good about yourself, then we need to take a look at that
motivation, because its not instrumental in achieving your goals
and actually is getting in the way of your progress towards true personal greatness (and
thus, the ability to attract great women.)
An example of what I mean: say youd listed something like, I want a hot girlfriend
because then my friends will think Im the man.
Or, I want a new woman so my ex-girlfriend will see what shes missing and want me
back.
Now, aside from the fact that there is almost nothing more ignoble than involving an
innocent third party in the fallout from a damaged relationship, those ideas are both egobased.
Meaning, theyre all about the self, and are focused on making you feel better about
yourself in a very limited way, thats focused on external validation, and that comes at the
cost of negative emotions and experiences for others.
Its hard to be a great guy and apply the principles of greatness to your life when youre
focusing on stepping all over other people to get what you want.
Were trying to add to your quality and enlightenment here, not detract from it so if
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youre coming up with egotistical reasons for why youre involved with this little venture,
go back and come up with some better ones that are about experiencing life, and women,
to the best of your ability and to the full breadth of experience
not just about you getting a narcissistic boost out of it.
If you want to know some serious, scary detail about the role of the ego in your presentday life, go read Deepak Chopras The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success. Thats some freaky
stuff.

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THE SCARCITY MINDSET


When it comes to women and dating, many men are gripped with a deep, visceral sense
of panic. They are afraid that there wont be enough for them.
That there arent enough great women out there.
That all hot women are unattainable.
That all that women want is some guy to pay their way for them.
That theres no such thing as a great woman wholl want them.
These are all examples of scarcity-based thoughts.
A scarcity-mindset is one of the major underpinnings of ongoing failure with women. Its
like a self-fulfilling prophecy: you believe that you probably wont find a great woman for
yourself. So, you get anxious and panicky, you get desperate, your desperation drives the
women away from you, and you end up fulfilling your own prophecy.
How about this for a better belief structure?
There is enough of everything for everyone.
This is the basic belief of the abundance mentality, which comes from Taoist modes of
thinking and is rooted in the fact that there is plenty of everything in the world.
Try thinking along these lines for just a moment. Just relax. There are plenty of women out
there. More than enough for everyone. Even if you take your sweet time, there are going to
be plenty of women out there for you.
So just relax. Dont stress. Everything will fall into place for you when youre good and
ready.
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Ever heard the saying, When the student is ready, the teacher appears? Its the same thing
for you, as far as women are concerned. When youre ready for them, they will appear for
you.
So chill out. Believe in the abundance of the universe, and notice how much more relaxed
and empowered you are by this belief.
A scarcity mindset is repugnant to the process of attraction. Not per se, of course a
woman most likely wont recognize the pattern of your thoughts, note that theyre based in
scarcity, and retreat in horror but its an inescapable truth that to believe that there is not
enough for you creates desperation.
And that is what women can sense.
Desperation, neediness, social anxiety they all convey low social status and low value,
both of which repel women.
Ever noticed that women are attracted to men of a higher social status and value than
themselves?
Its true.
In fact
Women are very rarely attracted to a man of lesser, or subordinate, status to themselves.
Thats why you hear about so many female secretaries hooking up with their bosses
but almost no female CEOs having serious relationships with the guy who changes the
fluorescent bulbs in the office lights.
So when you convey a sense of desperation to others a desperation thats rooted in a
belief that there wont be enough for you not only is that patently untrue, but it will
actually decrease your chances of ever proving yourself wrong.
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Consciously choose to believe that the world will support you in its abundance. Not
only will you have chosen to believe in a universal truth, but youve also chosen a belief
that will significantly improve the quality of your life and of all your relationships with
women.

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Be High Value
Women tend to be attracted to men of equal or higher value than themselves.
But most men are attracted to women who they perceive as being of equal or higher value,
too.
So if you want someone higher-value and she wants someone higher value what
gives?
Fortunately, nothing at all.
Youve just got to be able to become higher-value than you already are, in a way that
women can understand and recognize.
And the best part is that all this stuff isnt just going to make you look better to women
it literally improves your life, too.
Nice.
So here goes.

Eight Ways to Demonstrate Higher Value To Quality Women


1. Be able to teach her something cool.
Women like to be able to learn something from the man they are with. If all youve got to
say is stuff that she already knows, or that shes heard 10 times before, youre not going to
be much of a hit.
So you need to take it upon yourself to stock your mind with fascinating tidbits of
information on the kinds of subjects that women are interested in.
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Good ol Ross Jeffries (who pretty much singlehandedly created whats now known as
the Seduction Community) advocates stocking up on chick crack like rune-reading,
handwriting analysis, palmistry, and cold-reading (where you spout personal truisms to
someone youve never met before, like Oh wow, I can tell from the timbre of your voice
that youre a very empathic and sensitive person who lives in her feelings.)
This is all very well but personally, I like women who actually have a brain, in addition
to any chick crack interest in energy flow and so forth.
So, I make a point of casting my information net nice and wide.
Not only do I swot up on all that chick crack stuff, but I also make a point of checking
out stuff that I want to know more about stuff that Id want any woman who shares my
life to at least be able to hold her own in, too.
I get interested in stuff and learn more about it, which means that I almost always have
something weird and interesting to talk to women about.
For example, I can tell whats happening with the weather by the shape of the clouds (and
then I can scare her with horror-stories about elementals feeding off electrical impulses
in the air caused by the pressure between thunderheads etc. More chick crack.) I can
build a bomb shelter out of earth, and know how to smoke fish and wild game in my
backyard. I know how to make fireworks from scratch. I can discuss Rilke and like talking
to academic women whove read things like Joyces Ulysses. I can train just about any
dog, no matter how scary or badly-behaved it is. I can analyze human body language, and
tell a woman how shes feeling without even knowing her name. Etc.
And Im able to do this because I cast my net wider every day, through things like
Wikipedia (those page links are awesome), collecting books on weird, esoteric subjects,
subscriptions to free human-psychology podcasts on iTunes, and even the Discovery
Channel.
These are things that I am interested in, that not very many people know about. Women
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who know about these things, or who are interested in them, tend to be the kinds of
women that I like to have in my life.
Its a fait accompli and its nice and easy, because Im not doing these things to get
women Im already interested, and this helps me to hold my own with the kind of
women that I want in my life: namely, the smart, witty, passionate ones. Natch.
So: read up on stuff that interests women. Then, think about what YOURE interested in,
and read up on that too. Get knowledgeable. Youll be more interesting to talk to, and
women will perceive you as passionate about stuff (read: HUGE turn-on for them.)
2. When you approach a woman or a group, you need to demonstrate energy that is
equal or higher to the energy that that woman or group already has.
You cant be bringing them down, in other words.
Heres what you need to do: teach yourself to become a high-energy person. Make energy
a natural part of your life. Before you go out, play energetic music loudly. Jump around
in your living room. Dance around in your room. Pump weights to White Zombie for 10
minutes before heading out to meet women.
All this gives you endorphins and adrenaline and automatically raises your energy levels,
which automatically makes you more attractive to women.
Also, start making high energy a lifestyle thing. If you are one of those guys who lives in a
slump and constantly wants to go lie down and watch TV, its time to change that. Women
are not attracted to men who are tired, low, or give off negative vibes. So make high
energy your lifestyle. Start eating healthy and working out. Take Spirulina tablets. Make an
endorphin rush a daily occurrence for you.
3. Learn to lead.
If youre out with a woman, take her hand and lead her to somewhere else in the venue
- if she comes with you, shes interested. And your dominance is proving to her that you
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are leading i.e. that you are a dude with a strong personality who is taking charge of the
situation. Women love this. It makes them feel taken care of and looked out for. (You can
also put your hand lightly between her shoulder blades and guide her e.g. through a
crowded room or to another spot in the venue.)
Also, start making suggestions and having ideas for fun stuff to do, things youre going to
take her to go see or do, dates youre going to go on, drinks youre going to have, trips
youre going to take. Suggest these ideas masterfully as statements, not questions. Be
decisive, and never waffle.
4. Make your body-language laid back and casual.
Dont lean in towards her; you will seem weird and desperate. Lean back. Spread out. Take
up some space.
Next time you are talking to a woman and youre sitting down, do this: turn partially
towards her. Take one arm and spread it out over the back of your seat. Lean back in your
chair, away from her, and spread your legs a little in your chair. Take up some room.
If youre standing, spread your feet shoulder-width apart. Dont fidget. Let your arms hang
down by your sides it feels weird at first, but it LOOKS natural and confident.
If youre talking to a woman and youre leaning in towards her, she will either stay where
she is, or lean away from you. Either is not good, as her own body language is subliminally
reinforcing to her emotions that she is not interested in you. When a woman is interested
in you, she leans forward.
If her friends see you leaning towards her and her leaning away, theyre going to come
rescue her from you. You dont want that. So lean back, take up some space, and spread
out. Chill. And look like youre chill.
5. Have hobbies and interests and a career, as well as just wanting a girlfriend or some
women in your life.

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Part of being a high-caliber man is having a balanced life. You need to have stuff going on
in your life that doesnt revolve around women.
When youre talking to a woman, this will give you fodder to bring up and prove that you
are an interesting guy with a life, not just another hyperactive weirdo desperate to get a
woman.
6. Make sure your friends respect you and treat you well in front of others.
This is a big one; people pay attention to how the people who know you best treat you. If
your friends are constantly making fun of you in front of women, ruffling your hair, spitting
in your drink, and trying to steal the women youre talking to, you need to lay down the
hard word (or get some better friends.)
7. Always make sure that you are respectful to your friends.
Its a two-way street: to make a good impression on others, you must always put your
friends first. Its what quality people do.
Ever seen a guy talking to a woman and one of his friends comes up to him and
instead of introducing his friend and including him in the conversation, he pretty much
tells him, Go away! Im talking to a woman, youre going to screw it up for me!
You dont want to be that guy. Women notice how you treat your friends. If you make
HER number-one over them, shes going to figure that youre fairly desperate and that
youre also accustomed to treating people who are close to you BADLY if you might get
something out of it.
Unless youre in a LTR (long-term relationship), YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD ALWAYS COME
BEFORE WOMEN.
This is one of those paradoxical things: women actually PREFER IT, and RESPECT YOU
MORE, if they are not automatically number one in your book.

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If your friends approach while youre talking to a woman, introduce them. Make them
sound cool. (Hey, this is my friend James the rock star I was telling you about! James
plays local gigs down at the Starlight Ballroom and he totally kicks ass on lead guitar.) It
will reflect well on you: both because youre the kind of guy who hangs out with cool,
interesting people, and also because youre evidently confident enough to say good things
about other dudes.
8. Wherever possible, have female friends around to validate you.
Robert Cialdini talks about a key principle called social proof. This is the principle that, if
other people are doing it, it must be good.
To other woman, female friends of yours are just that: proof that other women enjoy your
company and like being around you. If other women like you, you must be pretty cool.
Whenever you are out with female friends, I guarantee you that other women will look
on you more favorably. And the hotter your female friends are, the more women will want
you.

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #4


You are going to start demonstrating value in front of women.
The best way to do that is to practice doing so.
Pick three of the eight ways of demonstrating value in front of women, and spend some
time figuring out how you can implement them in your lifestyle.
For example:
1. Practice thinking of and saying cool things about your friends when you introduce
them next time (accomplishment introductions.) Get them to do the same for you.
2. Start looking up esoteric websites and collecting random pieces of interesting
information. Subscribe to the Discovery Channel. Go on iTunes and look up some of
the cool podcasts they have for free on subjects that interest you.
3. Start working out, and start popping spirulina tablets and multivitamins. Get a basic
recipe book and figure out how to feed yourself in a way that supports your energy
levels. (As an added bonus, this way of eating will also support your muscle growth,
your fat loss (if you need it), your complexion, and your hair.)
The idea here is to get yourself used to ACTING in a high-value way, and to actually
CREATE a high-value LIFESTYLE for yourself.
True high-value men dont switch that value on and off in order to impress women. Its
simply who they are. Get used to acting in high-value ways, starting today.

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DONT GET TOO ATTACHED TO THE


OUTCOME
This is another concept from Zen Buddhism, and its strongly related to a scarcity mindset.
Consider this:
Most guys, when theyre thinking about approaching a woman and trying to create
attraction, get all caught up in the outcome.
They immediately think about how great it would be to have sex with her, or how much
they want to take her out sometime. They IMMEDIATELY qualify her as worthy, without
knowing almost ANYTHING ABOUT HER (other than the fact that shes hot) and in the
process, they make themselves seem very EASY TO GET.
Essentially, they start from the end, and work their way backwards, like connecting the
dots in reverse.
It makes the whole thing very UNCOMFORTABLE FOR EVERYONE, because instead of
just rolling up and saying Hi and seeing what happens, they get all twisted and tangled
up in this notion of needing to make X happen.
Then concepts like success and failure start coming into play, the ego gets involved,
along with their social worth and their own perception of themselves as a man, and before
you know it the stakes are way too high and theyve just talked themselves out of doing
anything.
They set themselves up for failure by voluntarily becoming the evaluated, rather than the
evaluator.
They forget to think about whether shes good enough for them, and instead get all worried
about whether they are good enough for her.

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GONGGGG! Big mistake.


Big, huge mistake.
Guys who fall prey to this seductive, yet intensely destructive, mode of thinking are usually
the ones you see lurking around the outskirts of a gathering of people, hovering around
some woman and staring at her.
The word women usually use to describe these guys is creepy.
Dont become one of these guys.
And in fact, not being one of these guys is pretty EASY.
All youve got to do is wake up to the fact that focusing solely on the outcome is basically
equivalent to courting failure
and get interested instead in just living in the moment, not trying to make anything
happen, and simply letting events wash over you as they will.
Let the chips fall as they may.
The real problem with attachment to any particular outcome is that it signifies a scarcity
mindset. It is rooted in neediness and anxiety.
Once again, these are repellent emotions. They turn people off. They are not attractive and
will effectively drive women away from you.
So, instead of thinking, Oh, man. Shes so hot. Its been such a long time since Ive talked
to such a hot woman. I have to make it work this time
you substitute neediness and scarcity with simple relaxation, and an ability to trust in
the abundance of the universe.

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So, you could think, Wow, shes hot. I might go talk to her and see what happens.
Then youre able to be far more relaxed, far less desperate, and not fixated on making a
particular outcome happen.
There are plenty of women out there. There is enough to go around for everyone. If it
doesnt work out with this particular woman, its not a big deal you can just go meet
some more.
That way, not only will you be a lot more relaxed and able to react appropriately to
whatever may happen during the course of the interaction, but youll also be preempting
any neediness, clinginess, or repellent anxiety by simply relaxing into the current moment
and allowing whatever happens to simply happen.
Again, youve consciously chosen to tread the path that will best support your attraction,
your lifestyle, and your relationships with women.

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IMPORTANT POINTS TO REMEMBER FROM


SECTION ONE
Being the best will get you the best.
If youre relying primarily on tricks and techniques to get the girl, at some point you will
run out of material. This is why most relationships go sour after the honeymoon period
because that kind of efforts not sustainable, and you start losing your ability to maintain
what attracted her in the first place.
If you want to be that guy who never has to wonder, What do I do now? if you want to
know instinctively how to act in any situation with women then youve got to become
that guy who is the technique, not just acts it.
Your beliefs and attitudes play a huge role in what actually happens to you.
Your beliefs are what create your actuality. Write down what you want to believe about
yourself, and include those statements in your affirmations. Repeat daily, once in the
morning and once at night (these are the times when your mind is most receptive to
change.)
Your subconscious mind cannot differentiate between what is real and what is vividly
imagined. If you want to create a new reality for yourself, create a detailed picture for
yourself in your mind of what you want. Include all 5 senses. Spend time thinking about it.
Game-playing and manipulation is risky and short-sighted.
The mindset that lets you think game-playing is OK is also the mindset that will lead you
to mediocre relationships of convenience with women.
If you want to avoid the grass is greener syndrome, avoid playing games and focus on
becoming the guy who the women you want find attractive, naturally.

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Figure out what you want, and why.


If you dont know what you want, you have a very small chance of ever hitting the target.
As well, if you know what you want but not why you want it, youre more likely to get
discouraged and fall back on old, bad habits.
Take some time to think about what you want, and what it will do for you and your life
when you have it. Then write those things down, and think about them as you read the
rest of this book. They will help to keep you focused and able to internalize that which is
important to you.
Know what you have to offer a woman.
Men who have no sense of what makes them special or unique usually employ a grasping,
needy, anxious approach to women where they will accept anything they can get.
This is something that a first-class woman will find repellent. Avoid this trap by knowing
what makes you a cool guy, and think about these qualities often and in a variety of
situations especially when youre around women.
Dont get obsessed.
Attachment to a particular outcome is the beginning of the end. When you adopt that
scarcity mindset and begin to need a particular thing to happen, youre minimizing your
chances of achieving that particular outcome.
If you start to get stressed out about a particular woman or a particular outcome, stop.
Chill out. Know that there are over 4 billion women in the world (a full 0.3 billion more
women than men, in fact) and that many of those women would make a suitable partner
for you.
There is enough to go around. The universe will support you and help you to achieve what
you want by directing a consistent flow of classy, intensely desirable women into your
life, as long as you quit getting in your own way and scaring them off with your neediness
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and fear. Dont get too attached to the outcome and enjoy the relaxation and peace that
comes with consciously giving yourself up to this fact.

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Section Two: The Knowledge You Need


To Escalate to the Next Level
OK. So weve dealt with the inner game aspects of attracting women.
Now its time to make some headway into the more practical aspects of things.
Section 2 is all about how to take it to the next level. Were going to use the mental,
psychological, and emotional progress youve made so far as a rock-solid underpinning for
some external progress.
By external progress, I mean the changes youre going to make to the outward aspects of
your life that will signify to others that you are a high-value, high-status man who is worth
getting to know.
This will involve things like your physical appearance, voice, and movements; creating
a lifestyle that will draw in quality women as relentlessly as a tractor-beam; and finally,
where you can go to find the women you most desire.
Lets go.

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EXTERNAL SIGNIFIERS OF ATTRACTIVENESS


There are three major outward signifiers of an attractive male: his voice, his carriage, and
his looks.
Voice
A lot of guys go through their lives thinking that its what they say to a woman that counts.
They spend countless hours memorizing openers and material that they think will work
at attracting women.
As a matter of fact, its not what you say thats nearly so important as how you say it. As
a matter of fact, communication is only 5% the words that come out of your mouth. Of
the remainder, 75% is non-verbal meaning, body language, eye contact, and movement
and fully 20% is your manner of speaking. (Desmond Morris, The Pocket Guide to
Manwatching.)
What this means for you is that, if you can get your voice and mode of speaking sorted
out, as well as your body language (on this, more later), it almost doesnt even matter what
you say women will often consider you attractive anyway.
This is a very empowering thought, as to most men, thinking of what to say to a woman is
truly a difficult proposition and entails much preparation and blanking on the spot.
When it comes to your voice, there are 3 major components contributing directly to your
perceived attractiveness. The first is the depth of your voice, the second is the speed at
which you speak, and the third is the softness of your voice.
If youve ever spent time people watching, or even in just about any social situation, youll
have had the opportunity to observe nervous people.
Youll notice how someone who is nervous or anxious is not only unattractive, but they are
also characteristically conversing in a high-pitched voice and are speaking very fast and,
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often, very loudly.


These three things make you look scared, unconfident, and generally low-value.
Fast speech is a global marker of someone whos afraid that others wont care what they
have to say they speak overly fast in the hopes of jamming it all into the conversation
before others lose interest.
A high tone of voice signifies emasculation and nerviness (an excess of the fight-or-flight
chemicals, adrenaline and cortisol, in the bloodstream, contract your vocal cords, leading
to squeakiness.)
And lacking control over the volume of your voice signifies low self-awareness and general
social anxiety. Extreme loudness makes you an irritating person to talk to, and will drive
others away.
Lets deal with these 3 things one step at a time.
How to lower your voice
The essence of speaking with a low-pitched, stereotypically masculine voice the kind
that really resonates with women is to speak from the DIAPHRAGM.
Most people in fact arent ever in touch with their diaphragms and, when speaking, utilize
purely the air from the tops of their lungs, in which case its almost impossible to speak
with a deep, manly voice.
Breathing and speaking from the top of your lungs feels shallow and restrictive, and
actually encourages your body to produce MORE of the fight-or-flight chemicals.
Its a natural physiological response to what your body and endocrinology will perceive as
a shallow breathing, which is what we do when feeling threatened or anxious.
The result? An even HIGHER voice and even LESS likelihood that youll be able to slow
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down, DEEPEN, and chill out.


The diaphragm is the thick sheet of rubbery muscle that contracts your lungs and controls
breathing.
Once you can speak from the lower register of your voice, youre using the diaphragm to
control breath and voice. This is sustainable indefinitely (i.e. its not just a thing that you
put on when you want to impress someone it can literally be a whole new voice for
you to use at your discretion.)
The following diaphragm-isolation exercise was inspired by the teachings of Dr Alex
Benzer, licensed hypnotherapist and renowned dating coach (you can check his website
out at www.thetaoofdating.com)
- Breathe in deeply so that your stomach actually rises.
- Hold it for a second.
- Now breathe out slowly but forcefully while contracting your abdominals.
- Repeat the exercise while saying, Aaaaaaaah. You will notice that when your
diaphragm is being utilized, you will have much more control over the depth
and strength of your voice.
- Continue to practice until it feels normal and OK to speak like this.
oh, and by the way. Friends and family may comment at first on your new voice. If so,
thats OK. You dont have to tell them why youre suddenly speaking differently if you dont
want to.
If, however, you DO want to, you can say something like, Im experimenting with selfdevelopment, and this just feels better and more natural to me.
The next aspect of creating a great speaking voice is the speed at which you speak.
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How to slow your voice down


Weve already established that a fast voice seems nervous and unconfident.
If you want to seem calm, confident, and strong to women three things that signify high
quality, experience, and attraction you need to be able to speak at a slow pace.
The easiest and most effective way to do this is simply by PAUSING MORE OFTEN in your
speech.
One of my closest friends is a guy called Richard. When I very first met him, the thing that
made the biggest and most immediate impression on me was his VOICE. He had a pretty
deep voice but he also spoke softly and really slowly. He didnt rush through his words,
he just ambled along, taking his time; and he also PAUSED quite often.
The effect was really quite dramatic, and other people notice it too. People rarely interrupt
Richard; when he speaks, people usually listen. Women often look at him as something of
an authority, not because he is one, but because he sounds like one.
Start pausing when youre talking to people. When it feels natural to do so, just stop talking
for a beat (you can repeat one hot potato in your mind to count it off, if you want.)
This can be a weird feeling at first. Particularly if you are already somewhat lacking in
social self-confidence, deliberately pausing during speech can feel like youre inviting
other people to interrupt you and basically just walk all over you.
Relax. This will not happen unless you are pausing too long. Pause for a beat, do it when it
feels natural, and start doing it today. Notice how different you feel when you are speaking
this way. Do you feel more in control, more powerful?
SOFTNESS
Keep an eye on the volume of your voice.
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My friends brother, Mark, has a really loud voice. Its so loud, in fact, that after about an
hour of hanging out in his company, you start to wish that hed go away for a minute just
so you could give your ears a break. Im sure that girls notice this too, because he rarely
has a girlfriend.
If you speak too loudly, you will sound harsh, abrasive, and it will literally be physically
uncomfortable to spend time with you.
A loud voice is not sexy. Softness is whats sexy. (If you want to really turn a woman on,
lean in and whisper something to her. Dont ask me why this works; but it does. It creates
a me and you moment that no-one else is privy to, and women like that.)
If you are a loud speaker, you are probably not aware of it. Most people will not tell you
if you talk too loudly, even if it is in your best interests for them to do so, simply because
they dont want to offend you.
And if it has been a lifetime habit, it is very unlikely that youll pick up on it yourself. You
may want to ask people for their honest opinions.
Choose a couple of close friends and/or family members whose opinions you trust, and
explain to them that youre working on your own self-awareness and that youre trying to
pick up on unconscious behavioral habits in order to develop yourself further.
Then say something like this: I want your opinion because youre an honest person and I
trust you. Can I ask you, do you think Id benefit from speaking more softly?
If they say yes, or if you personally think you do speak too loudly, you will need to work
on this consciously. Spend time in a room with the door shut reading aloud (from this
section of the book, if you like.)
Read it aloud in your normal tone of voice. Then read it aloud in what feels like a soft
tone of voice, to feel the difference.

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Practice your soft voice more often until it starts to feel natural to you, and then start
bringing it out in public. Pay special attention when you are getting excited about
something, because thats when peoples voices naturally begin to rise; if youre loud by
nature, youll need to keep a handle on this until soft speech becomes more of a habit.
MOVEMENT
Any high-value male is recognizable by the way that they move. They have whats called
an economy of movement: they dont waste energy, they move smoothly and slowly, and
they seem physically sure of themselves.
When it comes to body-language itself, I could give you a list of what to do and what not
to do.
However, this isnt really effective and, unless youre already fairly experienced in
interpreting and controlling the movements of your own body, often results in selfconsciousness and stilted, weird-looking movement.
My best recommendation to you is to go rent some DVDs of high-value men, and figure
out for yourself what it is about them that connotes mastery. My favorites are James Bond
(Sean Connery is best, Roger Moore less so), Steve McQueen particularly The Great
Escape and Bullitt and Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind.
(This last one is an epic drama thats about 4 hours long dont feel like youve gotta
watch the whole thing.)
Stand-up comedians are also excellent as their body-language is concentrated and
designed to capture and sustain the attention of large numbers of people at once. Try Chris
Rock, Steve Martin, and Robin Williams.
To give you an idea of what youre looking for, pay attention to how slowly and
deliberately they move.
Watch what they do with their hands when theyre standing still. Most guys dont know
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what to do with their hands ever noticed how, when youre feeling self-conscious or
awkward, it feels weird and unnatural to simply let your hands hang by your sides? But
youll see that this is actually something that looks totally normal.
Watch where their shoulders are, how they sit when theyre sitting down, how they stand
when theyre at ease or talking to someone. Pay attention to their speed of movement and
their gait (how they walk.)
Watch and note all this stuff consciously, and start applying it to yourself. Strike some
poses in the mirror and see how certain postures look and feel.

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STYLE AND ATTRACTION


Have you ever noticed that a lot of guys try to work an image that theyve got, in order to
get attention from women?
A lot of men rely quite heavily on some sort of external object or reference point money,
fame, good looks, flashy clothes in order to be successful with women.
If youve already got those things, then congratulations to you. Youll probably already
have a measure of success with women, and may be used to getting at least some initial
attention from them.
As for me, I dont like relying on external reference points to get attention or success, and I
dont recommend it for long-term success.
Heres why.
This might sound a little out there, so bear with me.
Its because, when you rely on external objects to get women, your interactions with them
are always going to be about power and fear.
Fear, because you know deep down that you need whatever it is your face, your wallet,
your big famous job to get those women.
When the thing goes away, the women go away.
Thats scary.
And its about power, because you know deep down that you your personality, your
spirit, whatever you want to call it isnt enough on its own to get those women.
You need that thing to get them. And you dont have 100% control over whether that thing
stays or goes
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so youre constantly wondering, on some level, just how long your success with
women is going to last.
It makes for a very uncomfortable existence, Ill tell you that.
And another thing.
Awhile ago, one of my friends broke his wrist in 3 places while mountain biking. He
wasnt wearing wrist guards and he paid the price in fractures.
One hospital trip and a bunch of morphine pills later, his wrist had been reset and the
doctor had fitted him with one of those colored fiber-glass casts up to his elbow.
Fast forward six weeks, off came the cast and there was my friend with one majorly
shrunken arm.
With no opportunity to flex and toughen, the muscles had atrophied and become useless.
At the time of writing, its now four months later and hes still trying to bulk up that arm to
the size it used to be.
Im pretty sure you can see where Im going with this.
Adding too much external support to your existing attraction muscles
support that falls outside the realm of your own self, your personality and general style

usually ends up with the guy in question relying too heavily on the quick fix.
He uses that fame or that wallet as a meal ticket to get women, and he never gets the
opportunity to polish up his real skills and his real self.
This is ultimately a limiting approach. When that meal ticket vanishes, the women go with
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it, and then that guys left wondering where to start.


This is why using external factors too heavily relying on them is both disempowering
and fear-inducing.
If you want to get to the level where you can just walk up to a woman and know
instinctively how to get a good reaction, youve got to have a solid game that comes from
inside yourself. Your styles got to be genuine.
So: lets talk about your style.

Do your looks matter?


You may have got the impression from what I was saying about external reference points
that looks dont matter.
Right?
GONG!! Reality check: we all know that looks, in fact, do matter. But not in the way that
you probably think they do.
When it comes to the aesthetic physical appeal factor, guys tend to judge women pretty
harshly. We just like pretty women. Most guys literally will not be able to feel attraction for
a woman unless he finds her physically appealing on some level.
Its not a conscious thing; thats just the way it is.
Because of our propensity to rate eye-candy highly and ignore everyone else, though,
were actually at a psychological disadvantage when it comes to things like self-image and
general confidence around women.
Put simply, most guys assume that because we need a woman to look sexy, that women
need us to look hot too.
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This is less true than you think.


Yes, good looks for a guy are a huge advantage; but they are not necessary in order for you
to be great with women.
Personally, Ive never been the sort to turn heads. But, Ive worked on myself enough and
to the extent that my looks are not even a challenge to me any more. Its just not even an
issue.
So if youre not a naturally good looking guy, dont sweat it. Well go more into this later,
but take it from me now that if you can make a woman feel a certain way, shes going to
want more from you no matter how many other good-looking dudes there are in the room.
BUT (yes, there is a but.)
This is not an invitation to let yourself go, and generally wallow in physical decrepitude.
You still need to make the absolute best of what youve got. Excellent results require an
intensity of dedication, and that means that youve got to improve yourself down to the
bone and beyond.
Here are a few quick pointers.
BODY. You dont need to be in perfect shape, but you should at least have an averagelyOK body. If youre overweight or out of shape, thats OK: think of it as your jumping-off
point to achieving how you really want to look. Make working out a couple times a week
part of your lifestyle and take some pride in yourself.
HAIR. Women notice hair and what you do with what youve got says a lot about your
position in life and how you see yourself.
Its about making a choice. Balding, for example, isnt a choice; bald is. A shaved scalp
turns heads and screams confidence; a balding scalp does the opposite. If youre losing
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your hair, pre-empt the inevitable and shave your head. I guarantee you, it looks better
than leaving it at the half-way mark.
Otherwise, get a decent hairstylist. You should not be cutting your own hair unless youre
shaving your head ditto coloring. Your hair is something that you should not skimp on.
Look through some magazines and check out hairstyles on guys with about the same sort
of hair as you. Figure out what looks good, and if you dont know, ask your stylist.
Invest in a couple low-maintenance styling products, and then use them tastefully. Dont
overdo it: gobs of gel are tacky, but a little texture can add luster. And dont do that thing
that most guys do and only style the hair you can see (i.e. at the front of your head.) Check
out how you look from the back and sides and do a thorough job. Five minutes isnt too
much to ask.
NAILS. Manicures are definitely too overkill, but all your nails including toenails
should be short and clean. Get some clippers and use them. Regularly clean under your
nails with a scraper or a knife. Details matter and women will notice.
FACIAL HAIR. I have to say it: the closest thing to The Invisible Man in todays culture is
the guy with the full-face beard.
Dudes with big beards become invisible to women. They fly beneath the radar, and not in
a good way. Do not have a full-face beard.
Some facial hair is OK, and pretty much any style goes, but make sure its groomed and
trimmed. Any kind of bushiness or unkemptness screams lazy. If youre going for the five
oclock shadow thing, thats cool, but it should be intentional, not accidental.
Oh, and bushy mutton-chop sideburns tend to repel women, as do porn-star mustaches.
TEETH. You dont need to have a shiny-white grill, but you should be aware that good
teeth are consistently ranked by women as one of the most appealing features a guy can
have.
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When I was younger, I used to smoke cigarettes and drink a lot of red wine. After a couple
years of this, my teeth were showing it: they were kinda yellowy and it didnt look good.
As a student, I didnt have a lot of disposable income, but I knew I needed good teeth, so
I ended up taking out a loan from the bank to finance the dentists bill. Twelve porcelain
veneers later, I had great teeth and a killer smile. As a student, it took me a couple years
to pay off the debt a little at a time, but its one expense I have never regretted and now I
have great-looking teeth for life.
You dont have to go to these sorts of drastic measures, obviously, but any noticeably
crooked or yellow teeth should be fixed if you want to have credibility as an attractive guy.
Check out inexpensive whitening (you can even DIY at home with stuff from the chemist)
or you can go to a cosmetic dentist. Prices range from $30 - $3,000. Find a balance
between your budget and your desire to meet women, and act accordingly.
CLOTHES. You must dress well. Any lack of care in your clothes unraveled hems, stains,
holes will be interpreted by women as a childish approach to life and a general lack of
self-respect. You dont need to buy a whole new wardrobe, but pay attention to detail and
make sure everything on your body is well taken care of. Go through your clothing and
turf out anything misshapen, uncomfortable, or unfixable.
Check out e-Bay and have a look through bargain bins. Keep an eye out for sales. Learn
what you like and buy the right sizes for you: take along a female friend if you can, or any
guy friends whose sense of style you admire.
Start asking opinions of shop assistants and let them suggest stuff for you. Sometimes
theyre way off target, but every now and then theyll offer something that looks really cool
that youd never have thought of yourself.
Dont overlook your shoes. Invest in some leather polish and start taking care of your
shoes. Know that men who wear sneakers, when theyre not literally just about to go play
sports, are taken by women to be alarmingly clueless about style, and therefore a social
liability.
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Steer away from white shoes, too, unless youve got the nous to know what looks cool
with them.
Socks: you should never wear athletic socks or white socks of any kind unless you are an
athlete who is actively engaged, at the moment of wearing, in his sport. Buy some good
black socks and wear them. (Business socks are good. Wear them pulled high up your calf
so your ankles dont show when you sit down.)
A final word: high-water pants. Try to buy pants that are long enough for you: it adds a
really nice well-fitting look to any outfit and just makes you look polished.
The guy whose pants are too short, on the other hand, ends up looking like a lunatic and
exposing a good couple inches of pale and hairy calf whenever he sits down. Dont be
that guy. Your pants should rest on your shoes with an inch or two bunched around your
foot when youre standing up.

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Lifestyle Design 101


Let me tell you a little story.
Man wants a woman. He spends a lot of time perfecting his game and going out looking
for someone thatll have him. Eventually he meets a likely-looking specimen and they
hook up.
Everythings peachy. They get on pretty well and things get intense, fast.
Before you know it theyre spending just about all their time together. No down-time, no
alone time just lots of contact and lots of hanging out.
Before you know it, things have gotten kind of stale. Little fights start creeping in. They
rarely do anything fun together anymore. They start running out of things to say. She starts
getting critical of things that never bugged her before.
The guy can sense that shes losing interest so he ups the ante. Starts buying her flowers,
bringing home little gifts, and being extra-nice to her so shell calm down and things can
go back to how they used to be.
But nothing works. She gets edgier and more grouchy and critical still, and he can feel the
balance of power in the relationship shifting.
Finally, one day they break up and never see each other again.
THE END
Sound familiar?
A lot of guys, when they meet a woman theyre really into, make the big fat mistake of
making her the focal-point of their life.
They stop seeing their friends, they drop little routines like work-outs, catching up with
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buddies, etc, and their life literally becomes about HER.


This is like a recipe for mediocrity and a completely stale relationship. Time apart,
doing your own stuff, is completely necessary to maintain sexual tension and keep life
interesting. Furthermore, it gives you stuff to talk about with each other and keeps the
relationship fresh and sexy.
And while were on the subject
This can happen even before you meet a woman youre interested in.
For some guys, meeting and attracting women becomes the focal point of their lifestyle.
Every night becomes about going out and picking up women. All their time starts being
spent on reading up, watching DVDs on pickup, and arguing on Internet discussion boards
about openers and routines.
Heres the thing: desirable women want passionate men. But they want men who are
passionate about something other than just women.
Interests are sexy. A life that includes things you care about is sexy. Women are attracted to
men who have interests, who care about stuff, and who arent overly focused on getting a
woman.
So this is where the fun part starts.
You get to design the lifestyle that you really want to have, and then you get to take steps
to make that lifestyle your life.
If motivation is a problem, try this on for size: imagine yourself 5 years from now.
What kind of a guy do you want to be by then? What kind of a life do you want to be
living? How do you want to be spending your time and money?
Close your eyes for 10 seconds and think about it. Really, do it. You need to know where
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youre heading here, otherwise youre just going to go round in circles.


Now imagine how youd feel in 5 years if your life was still the same as it is now and you
hadnt begun to implement any of the things you see yourself doing in the future.
Here are some adjectives, in case words fail you: frustrated. Bored. Boring. Washed-up.
Pathetic. Average. Mediocre. Unattractive. Immature. Unmotivated. Unsuccessful.
If you want to attract blue-ribbon-quality women, youve got to be a blue-ribbon-quality
guy. And being a top-quality guy involves having a kick-ass life, being passionate and
interesting, and caring about stuff that goes beyond social skills, sex, and women.
Think about the kind of women you want to meet. Now think about what kind of men
those women would most likely be attracted to.
Great women dont tend to dig guys whose entire lifestyle revolves around just one thing.
This is obvious, yes?
Good.
So if youre not already doing it, think about some stuff that sounds cool and start doing it.
Design a lifestyle for yourself that youre excited about and that you will be proud to talk
about to other people.

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #5


Look: I cant design your life for you. And if you cant figure out what youre interested in,
well, all I can say is that it must suck to be you. But here are a few basic ideas to get the
ball rolling:
Team sports.
Individual sports.
Body-building.
Music. (Playing or listening although I can tell you that from just about any womans
point of view, an ability to play any friggin musical instrument is going to get you a
LOOONG way.)
Animals. Get one (but BE AWARE first of what it takes bad ownership impresses noone) or volunteer at a shelter.
Art. Get interested in learning to draw comic strips or life drawing! You can check out
nude women while perfecting your technique (your drawing technique, that is.)
And by the way when you start meeting women, dont drop that lifestyle. Dont make it
all about her.
Keep on doing your own thing and being a cool guy, and focus on striking a balance
between social time and you time. Get the life and the lifestyle you want, and then hang
onto it even when you meet someone great especially when you meet someone great.
Just to make sure youve got the idea, Ive drawn you a little diagram on the next page.

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HOW YOUR LIFE SHOULD NEVER LOOK

Woman

You

HOW YOUR LIFE SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK


Career
Guitar
Woman
Pets

Family

Hobbies

You

Tennis

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Now its your turn. I want you to take this handy blank diagram, and create a life for
yourself wherein all of the circles are filled in.
Then, practice keeping it that way.

Hobbies

You

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Where to Meet Women


In this chapter, were going to talk about where the women are hiding.
Youve now got the knowledge you need to cover your bases. Youve got a style of your
own, youre well-kempt and looking good, you have a sexy, authoritative voice, youve got
a lifestyle thats energetic and exciting, and you know what youre looking for in terms of
women.
Now the time has come to put that knowledge and ability to use: its time to go where the
women are.
So where are they hiding, exactly?
Well theyre not exactly hiding. The world is full of women, and many of them are
attractive and would make a great partner.
And yet, for lots of guys, finding a cool woman to hang out with has become a quest thats
not unlike seeking the Holy Grail: its difficult, its horrifically challenging, and at times it
seems damn-near impossible.
If you are one of these guys, the first question I have to ask you is: where exactly are you
looking for these women?
Most guys make the mistake of looking for women in bars and clubs. And while its true
that you can find women in these places, and some of those women are indeed decent
people, its just not a realistic venue for creating excellent relationships.
And heres why.
Take a second to consider the atmosphere of a bar, club, or party. Everyones in going out
mode: most people are feeling wild, crazy, and ready to party hard, which is great at the
time

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but you just know that most peoples Saturday Night Personality is going to dissolve
overnight along with the alcohol or drugs in their bloodstream.
When they wake up the next day, its glamour-face off, and back to the real world and
their real personality.
This is why most hook-ups that happen in a highly-charged, unrealistic setting like a
nightclub very very rarely ever turn into anything more.
Of course, if youre looking for to score with a woman that very night, bars and clubs
are usually the places to go, provided that you can handle the intensely competitive
atmosphere. You should also be aware that women in clubs are expecting to be hit on:
theres kind of a who gets the most offers? atmosphere, which makes it a challenge to
really connect with a woman.
By contrast, what members of the pickup community call day game is much more
rewarding, a hell of a lot easier, and theres the added bonus of being able to figure out
which women youre likely to actually be compatible with.
Daytime pickup is scary for a lot of guys at first because it seems like it would be more of
a challenge.
Theres no alcohol involved, so you dont have Dutch courage to rely on; the lights arent
dimmed way down, so everybody can see everybodys everything; and women arent in
social mode so theyre not really expecting much in the way of conversation with strange
men.
And this is exactly why its so easy.
During the day, there are no expectations involved, so theres no competitive atmosphere
where a womans ego is involved (you mean thats the best I can do tonight?), and you
actually get to use your individual personality instead of relying on shouted drunken
witticisms and loud music to create a mood of hectic, unrealistic sexuality for you.

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If youre really interested in shaping up your personality and developing a real ability to
mesh well with desirable women in all sorts of situations
not just specific, compartmentalized areas of your life
then you need to shake off the idea that there is a particular place to meet women,
and realize that the opportunity is with you twenty-four hours a day.
There is no time or place to meet women. You should always be ready and willing to do
so.
Having said that, though, here is a list of some of the best secret places to meet women.
THE GYM. The gym is a great place to meet body-conscious women who are interested
in taking care of themselves. Of course, it depends on the kinds of gyms you go to: some
are unabashedly singles gyms and there is as much networking going on as working-out.
Other gyms are less social in nature, and youll find that in these ones, women tend to
wear earphones and concentrate hard on their work-outs.
Youll probably need to scope out a couple of different ones before you hit the gym with
the right atmosphere for you.
When you find one you like, stick with it, and get a regular schedule going.
When you work out at the same time on the same days, you become a regular and its
easier to meet other people who also work out at those times.
One caveat, though: dont try to engage a woman in a long conversation at the gym. You
need to pick a good time in between sets, or at the water fountain, and keep it relatively
short and quick.
Well get into the art of conversation later, but a quick chat followed by a request for her
information is the most appropriate to this setting.

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THE MALL This is a great place to meet women. You dont have to be a consumerist sort of
guy yourself i.e. you dont have to actually be a mall-rat in order to take advantage of the
hordes of well-dressed women wandering around in malls.
Shop-assistants are also great prey because its easy to start a conversation with them, for
obvious reasons: theyre paid to help you. Ask them about the stock, ask them to help you
pick something out, and youve got an instant, easy, natural conversation to build on.
COFFEE SHOPS I love coffee shops because its so easy to find the right kind of woman
for you all you have to do is figure out what kind of a lifestyle you want your woman to
have, and shop accordingly.
If you want a savvy professional type, the best time to go is before 8.30 am, at lunchtime,
and around 5 pm, and choose a mainstream coffee bar known for its efficiency and wide
range (Starbucks is perfect.)
If you want a cruisy artist type, choose the funky coffee shop with the reggae playing in
the background, incense burning, and colorful art on the walls, and go at unusual hours
during the day when most others are working regular jobs.
Then its simple. Choose a table, get your newspaper, crossword, or sketchpad out, hang
out with your coffee, and just peoplewatch. Its easy to make conversation when youve
got time to hang out for a bit.
TIP: Stop ordering those fluffy, super-decorated girly drinks at coffee shops. If youre
sitting there with a mint-cream double-whipped mochaccino with chocolate powder and
cinnamon sticks sticking out of it, women are going to notice that. The ones who like
manly men may feel that something is off about you. Experiment with triple espresso
and man coffee and stop drinking those sugary, flamboyant girlie-drinks.
ANY KIND OF HOBBY THAT RELATES TO YOUR LIFE Want a woman wholl slot
effortlessly into your lifestyle? Then figure out what you want her to be interested in, and
go take a class in it.

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For example, a lot of my life revolves around my dogs. (I have two, both Rottweilers.)
I spend a lot of time with my guys, walking them, training them, and just hanging out
together, and I prefer women who are cool with that better yet, women who have dogs
of their own and know whats up.
So, even though my dogs are both pretty well trained, I signed up for a course in dog
training. It makes sense that women who own dogs are likely to show up at a dog-training
course, and odds are that one or two of them will be attractive.
Sure enough, there were a couple twenty-something women there giggling over their
massive Newfoundland puppy (one of those huge black hairy dogs with webbed toes).
When my dog went over to check their dog out, it was pretty easy to start a conversation,
and I ended up dating one of them for a couple months.
Of course, you dont have to be interested in dogs, thats just an example. You could be
interested in life drawing, cooking (always a great one you can invite women round after
its over to see who can make the best dish), bartending, whatever. Get creative and check
out whats happening in your area.
EXTREME SPORTS This is an awesome place to meet extremely hot, fit, toned women. I
went on a cycling tour with a couple buddies when I was about 28 and there was a bunch
of women there who literally had the tightest bodies of any women Ive ever seen. Biking
behind those women was one of the highlights of the trip. I had a girlfriend at the time, but
my friends were both single and quite happy to make the most of the opportunity.
Anything that requires passion and a certain degree of ability (whether general fitness or a
specific skill) is going to weed out the no-hopers and will ensure that any women present
will likely be a pretty interesting woman herself, with a lot going on in her life.
YOGA CLASS Kinda like the gym, you might think
WRONG! Not quite. Yoga classes are populated by a very specific type of woman.
Allow me to describe her for you: supple, stretchy, lycra pants, gentle and caring,
usually between 17 and 35ish in age, alternative approach to life, dedicated, physically
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disciplined, toned, and passionate about her life and her body.
Sound interesting?
Yeah, thought so.
Most guys are prepared to ridicule the idea of yoga class, but its way more mainstream
now than you might think and most classes are about 80% - 90% women.
That means that for every one guy present, there are eight or nine women. Those are good
odds.
A word to the wise: dont try and start a conversation during the class itself. Yoga involves
a very intense form of mental and physical concentration and any talking is frowned upon.
Your best bet for making friends here is to turn up 10 minutes early and just hang out
with whoever else is there. Most women will leave soon after the class is finished without
hanging around because they dont want to hang around all sweaty and rumpled, so
before it starts is your best bet.
BOOKSTORES Bookstores totally rock. They are one of the best places ever for enjoying
easy, comfortable, unconstrained conversations with cute women who also happen to
have a brain.
Better yet, you can get a pretty good idea of what kind of woman she is by what shes
looking at.
Me personally, I dont go for women who read those Mills and Boone type romance
novels I like intelligent women, so I know that if shes browsing Somerset Maugham,
Tom Wolfe, or Hunter S. Thompson, for example, were going to get along just fine. Ditto
nonfiction and especially ditto special interest books: once I dated a woman who I found
reading an art book about how to make these huge, 8-foot sculptures out of hand-made
paper and wire.

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Not only was this woman absolutely smoking hot, but she turned out to be a pretty
amazing artist too and we had some good times fooling around in her studio.
Its easy to approach a woman in a bookshop. All youve got to do is ask her what shed
recommend. Or hang out in her section and comment on the authors shes browsing.
Simple, and an ensuing conversation thats actually interesting is highly probable.
EXPAND YOUR OWN SOCIAL CIRCLE This is literally the best and most effective way of
meeting women EVER.
And thats NOT hyperbole.
To become adept at meeting women without the initial awkwardness of making the
approach, or attempting to talk to complete strangers you must become a social animal.
You need to become a social maestro.
First of all: start accepting ALL social invitations that come your way.
This is more of a challenge than it sounds for most. How many times have you invented
an excuse to get out of some work bash you didnt feel like attending, or decided on the
spur of the moment to stay at home, eat pizza, and watch movies instead of going out to a
party?
From now on, you are going to accept EVERY social invitation that you get. And I do mean
EVERY.
And not only that, but you must also show up at the event. Even if its not your thing,
even if youre too tired or just dont feel like it be a man of your word. If you said you
were going to go (and youd better have done), go. Even if its just to make a one-hour
appearance. Even if its a long taxi ride. DO IT.
Its the best way to build a social circle and meet women. Its also a great way to make
more friends, support your professional relationships, and strengthen existing friendships.

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This way, you get introduced to women instead of approaching them (Robert Cialdinis
theory of social proof works in your favor yet again. If a mutual friend is introducing you,
you must be good.)
Secondly: throw parties. If youre having trouble stocking one with the minimum required
to have a great time (20 people, usually), you now have 3 months to get ready.
Heres what you do. Start asking for, and keeping, business cards. Add numbers to your
cell-phone when you meet people. And then: call them to say hi a day or two later.
Doesnt have to be a big deal; just call, say, Hey, I just wanted to let you know how much
I enjoyed talking to you the other day. How was the rest of your night/did you enjoy the
rest of the picnic/were you hungover the next day? Ha ha, me too. Hopefully Ill bump
into you again soon. Great talking to you. See you later! and thats it. Piece of cake.
This is a great way to build up your social numbers and basically get a good socialnetworking thing going on.
After 3 months of this, you should have enough numbers and cards to throw a bash. And
throw one you will. Get used to hosting things, because thats what leaders do.
WHERE ELSE? It doesnt take much to meet women let alone interesting, attractive,
all-round excellent women. And yet, for a lot of men, its really hard to do. Heres what I
suggest: if youve been trying to meet high-quality women for awhile now, and nothings
come up, dont start believing its hard to do just change your routine. Start doing
different things at different times, and stick with it. Regulars will usually not notice you,
unless you are exceptionally good looking, until youve been going somewhere regularly
for at least a couple weeks.
Talk positively to yourself. Remember the abundance mentality: there are a lot of women
out there. Many of them are great. And many of them would be great for you. So if youve
been trying to meet someone for awhile now and nothing particularly greats come up, its
most likely because your routines getting a bit old.
If youre like most guys, youll hang out with your friends, go out in big groups of guys,
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check out bars and parties and clubs, and not bother overly much about day-game or
about trying out some new venues and situations.
And if you are doing all that, and youre still not meeting someone worthwhile, youve got
to take a look at how youre doing it.
Are you going out by yourself at all? This is a good idea, particularly during the day large
groups of guys look kind of childish to women and make you seem like youre out on the
prowl on spring break or something.
If you must go out with friends, make sure you approach women on your own dont
have your friends lurking at your back.
Another possibility is that something youre saying or doing is putting those women off.
You might be saying the wrong thing, hitting them up in the wrong way, boring them, or
scaring them off.
The next section is going to deal with exactly how to communicate with women in a way
that minimizes rejection and your chances of getting the brush-off, and that maximizes
your chances of success no matter what venue or situation youre in.
But before we do, its time for a quick progress review.

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Important Points to Remember from Section Two


Youve got to have your own style and its got to suit you.
Excellent men get excellent women. Thats just the way attraction works. A great woman
tends to have options meaning, there is no need for her to settle for anything LESS than
high-grade masculinity.
And part of being that excellent guy who attracts the attention and interest of excellent
women is showing yourself the care and respect that you deserve.
You should be in OK shape, taking care of your body and skin, wearing clean, taken-careof clothes that fit you well, and figuring out what colors look good on you. If you arent
sure whats cool, take a friend with you (just make sure you admire their style), or ask shop
assistants to help you pick stuff out. Keep an open mind, but dont go for stuff that makes
you feel weird or uncomfortable.
You should be paying attention to your hair: its style and color. Youre making choices
about this, not just letting nature/age dictate how you look.
You know that hygiene is important, that fresh breath and deodorant are absolutely
required at all times, and that great teeth will get you far with women.
Design a kick-ass life for yourself, whether youre involved with a woman or not.
Focusing entirely on getting a woman will ensure that you most likely will never get a
woman. If you want quality women in your life, youve got to design a cool life for yourself
and take joy in living it.
This should be something you want to do for yourself, not just as a thing that you do to
get women. If youre not willing to do this for yourself, its clear that you dont have a lot
of respect for yourself, and you probably will always have difficulty in this area of your life
until you get it sorted.

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So get a kick-ass life and enjoy it for what it is: a way for you to do cool stuff and seem like
a cool guy at the same time.
Hang onto that life once youve got a woman.
Too many guys let their sweet lifestyle slide once they get a woman, and start spending all
their time with her. They forget that theyre doing it for themselves, not just as a way to get
women. This inevitably results in the woman feeling cheated of the great guy she started
dating, kills the attraction over time, and will create irritability, frustration, and boredom.
Time apart doing your own thing is absolutely essential if you want to keep things
jumping. Dont worry if she doesnt get this at first; just explain that this is what you need
to do to be happy, and then go do it.
Bars and clubs are not good places to meet women.
Most mens dating lives, or efforts to get one, revolve entirely around what happens on a
drunken Friday and Saturday night.
This is a terrible way to form great relationships with anybody its high pressure,
unrealistic, and most women are in party mode and not giving you a real indication of
who theyll be once the alcohol wears off.
Put your knowledge of what kind of woman you want into good use, and think about what
kind of interests you want her to have. Then, start turning up in places where that kind of
woman would likely be.
If youre out meeting women, its not a great idea to turn up in huge herds of single men,
either. Take one or two buddies out with you who you know are good with women, and
leave them in the background preferably out of earshot if youre making an approach.

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Section Three:
How to Communicate With Women
In this section, were going to deal with how to talk to women in such a way that you are
able to feel relaxed, be straight-up, never kiss anyones ass, and maximize your quality and
attraction.
After time, and with due diligence, these conversations will begin to bear fruit (a lot of
sweet, varied fruit) and better yet, it will begin to feel literally EFFORTLESS on your part.
Why? Simply because this is all about creating the SKILLS within you that are necessary
to gain huge, lasting success in this area as opposed to rote-learning lines and canned
material to get you through in the short term.
In this section, well take a look at:
- which popular methods of talking to women are outdated and actually NOT
helpful
- the art of being compelling
- how to start a conversation with a woman
- how to be radically, shockingly honest with her in a way that draws attention to
your higher status, and that creates instant, MASSIVE attraction
- how to control your emotions around women during your interactions with
them
- how to get a womans information
- when you should call her
- how to talk on the phone to a woman
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HOW NOT TO TALK TO WOMEN


(a.k.a. popular techniques which may NOT be all that they seem)
As youre probably aware, a huge sub-culture has sprung up around the art of meeting and
attracting women.
In commercialized circles, this is called the art of pickup and there are a number of very
famous gurus who are currently in the process of making absolute FORTUNES taking
hopeful guys out on bootcamps.
During these bootcamps, groups of hopeful men are subjected to an intensive variety of
seminars and slideshows specifically designed to cram their brains full of strategies for
getting women.
Despite my genuine respect for many members of this community, I have to cut to the
chase right now and say that, if youre interested in authentic, meaningful, EFFORTLESS,
long-term success with women of the type that spills over into all areas of your life, be it
your professional life, your ability to make friends and network, your financial success
MOST of these techniques dont work on a consistent basis for the average guy.
Not because the techniques themselves dont work.
but because they are, almost 100%, very difficult and bumpy techniques to apply.
If you dont have a tutor schooled in that particular art standing right by you and paying
attention, willing to let you know exactly when you screw up and when youre on the right
track, most guys just end up SCREWING IT UP.
They either offend the girl, come across as a complete nut-job, or run out of stuff to say.
Of course, theres no guaranteeing that youre one of these guys. You might not be. And
these techniques might all work perfectly for you.

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If so, you have my blessing. And please, feel free to try.


But dont say I didnt warn you.
Anyway.
The point of the next few pages is to give you a few pointers about what OTHER guys
out there in the field are doing, why they may very well try to convert you to their own
modus operandi, and why these techniques are NOT necessarily the best way for you to
interact with superior-quality, desirable women.
SIDE NOTE: all of the following concepts are, in fact, structurally sound, and if used
CORRECTLY, as intended, they can definitely be of assistance in your interactions with
women. However, most guys unintentionally twist the concepts and end up accidentally
misusing them.
The following pages will help to set you straight on this, so that youre able to make an
informed decision about when (if ever) its appropriate for you to supplement your own
style with the concepts of others.
Onward.

Canned Material and Pickup Lines


Look: Ill be honest with you. The use of canned material such as openers can actually
be pretty damn useful
as long as you dont take it TOO FAR.
An opener is an interesting sentence or question thats designed to open a conversation.
Nothing more.
Unfortunately, many guys dont quite get this, and end up talking basing a whole
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CONVERSATION around the original line.


This is both weird and boring.
Remember: openers are just that: something to open a conversation. Use it, then get
out. Period.
For example, the opinion opener is pretty good. This is where you say something like,
Hey, my friends and I were just having a debate. They think that most girls will take back a
guy who cheated on them, if he apologizes prettily enough. (pause for outraged squeals.)
I dont think so, but neither of us can convince the others.
Now add a time constraint, so she doesnt think youre going to be hovering over her all
night.
Were heading off in just a sec, but what do you guys think?
Talk about the opener for a couple minutes, and then change the subject. Remember that:
its an OPENER, not a CONVERSATION. If youre still talking about the cheating question
in 5 minutes, youve gone too far.
Openers themselves are all good, when used APPROPRIATELY but I have to say that
the use of routines kind of weirds me out. (Ditto, lots of women.)
(A routine is a memorized conversation, where you recite lines designed to get a certain
reaction from people.)
Look: thats not to say that theyre not effective. Because they can be. Its more that relying
too heavily on this kind of thing literally sucks the personality right out of you and can
actually atrophy your own ability to develop a cool PERSONALITY (as opposed to a cool
set of routines.)
NOTE: Most PUAs will advise you of the same thing: that canned material etc is meant to
be used as training wheels only.
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But there are still plenty of guys out there whose entire social lives consist of walking up to
women and hitting them with routine after routine after routine with the effect that their
own character withers away (as does an ability to think on ones feet like a real human
being.)
Most quality women i.e. SMART women can figure out that somethings a bit weird in
this situation. A guy who uses too much canned stuff can come across as too smooth and
too rehearsed, as though hes not being authentic. (Which, of course, is absolutely right.)
So, use openers and canned material PROPERLY that is to say, lightly and youll be just
fine.
Just dont OVERDO it.
(By the way, if youve ever read Neil Strausss The Game, youll also know that if there are
enough guys sarging with canned material in any one place, women can literally get the
same lines and material used on them again and again by different guys. You can imagine
the sort of embarrassment that something like this would create.)
Many PUAs who use canned material are basing their technique of pickup heavily on the
Mystery Method, an extremely complex form of social mathematics including many and
varied routines and methods for attracting women.
While Im in no way dissing Mystery or his Method, I have to say that for most guys,
attempting to learn and memorize his mathematical formula of meeting and attracting
women is just too confusing for them without some pretty intensive hands-on tutelage. All
those diagrams and charts and acronyms and precise timings just get right on top of most
guys and in fact, can create situations best described by the word weird.
If youve ever seen an unschooled guy attempting to mirror a womans body language
in an attempt to create rapport, then youll know what Im talking about. If youve been
lucky enough to avoid this so far, good for you.

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Of course, using good body language is great. Thats a smart thing to do. But just dont try
anything tricky (like mirroring a womans body language) unless youre either DAMN
sure of what youre doing, or youve got an instructor present. Otherwise, you WILL creep
her out.
As far as canned material goes, there is no harm in SUPPLEMENTING your own
personality and conversational topics with a few practiced lines; they can help smooth
over a rough spot in the conversation if you should ever go blank (which is something
that most guys experience once or twice at first.)
However: if your ENTIRE GAME is based upon the use of pre-memorized, pre-practiced
material, you are in trouble.
Why?
Because sooner or later, that material is going to run out and then youre going to be
stranded in the chaotic, heaving seas of Socializing With An Attractive Woman, without
ANY idea of how to throw yourself a conversational life-jacket.
Remember, guys: like attracts like. Quality attracts quality. Being an excellent man will get
you excellent women. Theres no two ways around it.
And if your whole strategy is based around hiding behind a thin, soothing foam of learned
pickup jargon and rote-learned openers, smart women are going to figure out after
about ten minutes (or when your material runs out, whichever comes first) that something
doesnt quite jibe here.
As for pickup lines themselves (as opposed to a good opener), theyre obviously OUT. No
exceptions here.
If youre serious about attracting women, you will steer WELL clear of pickup lines. Theyre
cheesy, boring, and furthermore, theyre actually a little rude: ever noticed that a pickup
line actually kinda puts a woman on the spot? (I mean, what kind of response is she really
expected to have to a question like, Is your father a thief? Because there are two stars
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missing from the sky and theyre right there in your eyes?)
Pickup lines will do one of two things: either force a polite (and bored) smile from her;
or, force her to respond in some way and the most common is to respond with a rude
comment of her own to save face.
So steer away from pickup lines; and use canned material with a light hand, if ever.
Time for a quick exercise before we go any further

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Actionable Attraction Challenge #6


Its time for you to come up with a couple good openers of your own.
Remember, an opener is something designed to OPEN a conversation not the entire
meat of the conversation itself.
The easiest way to do it is to think about something funny or interesting (that a WOMAN
would find interesting) that people could conceivably have two different opinions about.
Common ones (dont use these) include Hey guys, my friends throwing a party soon and
he wants it to be themed. I reckon it should be 80s themed, he wants it to be jungle. What
do you think?
Or, OK, I need a female opinion on something. Is David Bowie actually hot?
Note that these are NOT serious subjects. They are light, fluffy, and pretty frivolous. Thats
the whole idea: they lead into light, frivolous, FUN conversations.
Now its your turn.
Ill start it off for you: Hey guys, me and my friends were just discussing something.
Whats better, ____ or ____?
And now, come up with 5 more of these. You can use them next time you go out.
1. Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. _______________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________?
2. Hey, me and my friends were just discussing something. _________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________?

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3. OK, me and my friends over there need a female opinion on something. ___________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________?
4. Hey, Im having an argument with my friend. He thinks ________________________
and I think _______________________. You guys have to help us settle the debate!
5. OK, I need you guys help. Me and my friends are trying to settle a debate. They all
think that _________________________________, and I totally dont agree. I think ___
_____________________________. We need a smart female opinion on what the truth
is.
But what if you dont want to use canned material at all?
Good question.
Its my opinion that, if youre a genuinely high-grade guy whos living a kick-ass life, who
socializes regularly, and who has a solid set of social skills (which is a natural byproduct of
regular socializing), YOU DONT NEED ANY OF THAT STUFF.
Your own, spontaneous conversation will actually be NATURALLY EXCELLENT.
And if you minimize the canned stuff, heres something that will NEVER happen: that
bizarre, skin-crawlingly awkward point that comes when you run out of things to say,
youve got your face against a brick wall, your library of lines has failed you ... and youre
left thinking, Ummm now what am I meant to say?
Or that horrible point that comes when a woman figures out that youre using scripted
lines on her.
(NOTE: It is actually possible to weasel out of this one with minimum embarrassment,
simply by laughing at her and saying, Huh?, or even flat-out ignoring her comment but
youve gotta have balls of steel, and a ZERO capacity for blushing.)

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Experience is the key, gentleman. That is the answer that you are looking for. And once
again, reading about it isnt going to provide you with the magic: its action thats going to
create attraction.
It boils down to this: get off the couch, stop interacting with your television, and put
more of a focus on building genuine skills. Its the only way to avoid the Now what?
phenomenon.

Being the alpha male


Heres the deal with being the alpha male. The basic concept (that women are attracted
to men who are better than they are in terms of social status and power) holds true; but
MOST MEN wildly misinterpret the need to be the alpha male in any given situation.
Have you ever been out in a social situation, somewhere where guys are likely to be
competing over the attention of a woman, and seen a group of guys standing around one
or two very hot women
and the guys, instead of actually talking to the WOMEN, start one-upping each other,
getting into wrestling matches, trading insults, and basically trying to prove to each other
(and the women) that THEY are the alpha male and are better than all the other dudes
there?
Now let me ask you another question.
WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
In a word: EVERYTHING.
Being the alpha male is not about one-upping other guys. Its not about egoic behavior
like trying to tear down other people in order to make yourself appear superior. And its
NOT about ignoring the WOMEN in order to focus on proving a point to the MEN.

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Truly being an alpha male is about having something to offer the situation that brings
everybody together, catalyzes laughter and good times, and makes it clear WITHOUT
stress or aggravation that you are a high-value kinda guy, and one that women (and
everyone) would do well to have around.
So if you can approach a mixed group of guys and women, and instead of trying to
DOMINATE all the guys there actually BEFRIEND them, and make the ENTIRE GROUP
start laughing, then youve effectively alphaed yourself.
From a womans perspective, the kind of guy who she will perceive as valuable is
someone who will IMPROVE her life, not make it more difficult. So, if you demonstrate
your ability to ADD VALUE to her life (by creating an atmosphere of easy good times in
her group, for example), she will be more likely to view you as a potential than if youd
attempted to exile all the other males from the group so that you could have priority
access.
Oh, and one other thing: if youre wasting time thinking about how alpha you are,
worrying about it, and trying to prove it to other people, then you are not alpha.
Remember: its not about putting on a show of strength. Yes, women want someone who
will be able to protect them and make them feel safe, but one or two casual references to
this in a roundabout way will suffice.

Busting on women
The concept of busting on women is, again, strongly related to the viewpoint that women
are drawn to men who are higher-value than themselves, and who are therefore not
intimidated by signifiers of feminine status primarily, extreme beauty.
This concept is entirely TRUE.
To give you a little background, most guys who are relatively inexperienced with meeting
and attracting women tend to drool over beautiful women from a distance, but will rarely
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actually summon up the nerve to APPROACH them. And, if they DO approach, they are
usually so influenced by how attractive the woman is that they resort to one of any number
of fawning, obsequious conversation starters:
Wow, youre really pretty. You must have a boyfriend, huh?
Can I buy you a drink?
Oh my God, youre so beautiful, can I take you out some time?
and so on.
The concept of busting on women takes this attitude and turns it on its head. It suggests
that if you want to impress a woman, you must not only NOT appear to be affected by her
looks in any way, you must also NOT comment on them AND, you must actively take
her down a notch at the same time.
The originators of this concept, and those who use it correctly, know that successful
busting consists of GENTLE teasing and the kind of playful conversational style that
merely signifies to a woman that youre a naturally high-value guy who needs more than
just good looks alone in a woman, and whos not going to lose his cool because shes got
a pretty face.
Unfortunately
There are now guys out there right now believing that busting on a woman means
actually INSULTING HER, giving her a hard time, or commenting in a negative manner
about deeply personal issues such as her hair, her height, her makeup application, or her
accent.
Not too long ago I overheard a reputable dating coach suggesting that his students can
focus on a beautiful womans flaws.
The example that he gave was of a guy approaching a woman with a little bit of regrowth
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at the roots of her hair (where the dark roots showed through) and saying, Wow, you have
such beautiful hair. How on earth did you only manage to dye the ROOTS?
Now, the creator of this technique was the one who originally used this particular line on
a woman, and I expect that his consummate skill would have enabled him to pull it off.
But in my experience, very few people would have been able to pull this off without
causing some pretty severe resentment and/or embarrassment for both parties involved.
And its not really something that naturals tend to do anyway.
Look: women dont like to be insulted. Its a fact of life. They ESPECIALLY dont like to be
insulted about personal aspects of themselves (ESPECIALLY their LOOKS.)
If youre going to break this rule, youd better be pretty damn charming in all other aspects
of your personality. Consider yourself warned.
The idea BEHIND busting on a woman is sound, and WHEN ITS DONE AS INTENDED
it can be very effective. But I counsel you to be very careful, and NEVER comment on
anything to do with a womans body, face, height, hair, or anything thats personal.
For example, it might be OK to make a jokey comment about the size of a womans
handbag, because thats not something that is representative of HERSELF, and hey, she can
always get a new handbag if you strike a nerve.
On the other hand, making a comment that relates to something representative of HER,
and that cant easily be changed for example, how short/tall she is is to risk turning her
right off you (at best), or creating a confrontation between her and you (at worst.)
Yes, you can be PLAYFUL with a woman, and no, you shouldnt take her too seriously
or give her the idea that youre affected by her looks. But the point of teasing is that it
must be done GENTLY and MILDLY, GENTLY and MILDLY and under no circumstances
should you ever confuse teasing with insulting.

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How to Be Compelling
Most men are not compelling around women.
They may know how to TALK to women, but they dont know how to actually evoke any
EMOTION from those women while theyre doing it. And, until you can call emotions into
play, its unlikely that shell feel any emotions towards YOU
and that includes the emotion of ATTRACTION.
Think about it. If you are forever talking about intellectualized things that rely heavily on
facts, rationality, and logic or if your conversational skills range only to your job, your
car, the current temperature, how nice her dress is if you cant evoke any FEELINGS in
her during a conversation, shes not going to feel anything about YOU.
This is how most men operate around women. This is largely because many men are
conditioned to feel ashamed of their masculinity, or that its somehow inappropriate to
telegraph any kind of attraction or sexuality her way.
The result is that they scrape off any vestiges of interest and evocative traits from
themselves, and rely solely on dry, bland topics of conversation, modes of speech, and
body language whenever its time to talk to a woman.
The result, of course, is a COMPLETE LACK of EMOTION on her part, and subsequently, a
complete lack of ATTRACTION.
If you want to be attractive to women, you must learn how to be COMPELLING that is to
say, you know how to evoke emotions and feelings in women during your conversations
with them. If you can make a woman feel something, you are then a COMPELLING
man, and one who is creating a rich environment for other feelings-based things like
ATTRACTION and sexuality.
Here are a few suggestions.

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Youre a man. Be OK with that.


A lot of guys out there are, on some level, actually ashamed of their masculinity. Theyre
absolutely terrified of scaring a woman, intimidating her, or making her feel threatened,
and so they simply sterilize their personalities of everything that could be construed as
male and sexual, and then blindly hope for the best.
At best, this kind of behavior will get you a bunch of LJBF relationships. At worst, you
will never have any success with women at all and will go through you life like a puling,
mewling, cringing mutt, wondering why women arent attracted to you yet unable to
understand what you need to CHANGE about yourself in order to change the results youre
getting.
FACT: Women like MEN. MANLY men. You must accept that, not only are women NOT
THREATENED by guys who are OK with their maleness and inherent sexuality, but that
they actually LIKE IT.
(And by the way if you appear to be afraid of your sexuality, or apologetic in any
way for who you are, this will actually unsettle women a lot more than if you were
straightforwardly OK with yourself, because it makes you seem like youve got something
to compensate for. They begin to wonder, What is this guy so afraid of? Whats he hiding
from me? Whats he afraid might happen? Not good.)
The world is crying out for strong, masculine men who are FINE with the fact that theyre
different from women. Its OK to be a man. Its OK to like sex. Its OK to telegraph that fact
to a woman. Dont be ashamed and NEVER apologize (or feel apologetic) about it.

Talk about interesting stuff.


Learn to talk about more interesting stuff than work and the weather. A big part of this is
having a life that youre passionate about; something else that helps is to get interested in
self-development.

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This doesnt necessarily mean delving into the self-help section at the bookstore; it simply
means getting really interested in attaining an across-the-board standard of excellence in
your LIFE, and talking to other people about it.
For example, something that I find incredibly interesting is the theory of quantum physics,
which is basically the science of possibility. I love the idea that we are all inherently
responsible for EVERYTHING that happens in our own lives, that our thoughts and beliefs
literally create our realities, and that you can cause something in your life to appreciate
simply by appreciating it.
This is a real hobby-horse of mine and I love to talk about it with women that I meet
when Im out and about. Its also something that a lot of women are interested in (being
that women tend to be more interested in personal development than men, as a general
rule) so I have a great topic to debate about, call them up on, tease them about, and then
branch off into other, personal issues.
Of course, quantum physics may not be your thing; thats just an example. There are plenty
of kick-ass things out there to get interested in and talk about. But if youre interested in
being COMPELLING at the same time, choose something with a little sex appeal and a
little HUMAN INTEREST, so that she can relate what youre talking about to her own life,
have opinions on it, and FEEL SOMETHING when youre talking about it.
(And if you want to investigate quantum physics, go read The Dancing Wu Li Masters by
Gary Zukav, and watch What the Bleep Do We Know? on DVD.)

Use humor.
Levity is something that can be used to introduce feelings into just about ANY
conversation. If you can make a woman laugh, you are definitely making her feel
something, and she likes it.
Teasing is great (bearing in mind the caveats from the previous chapter) as long as its nonmalicious and done in a humorous, playful way. If you can learn to tease a woman well,
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youll have an unlimited supply of things to talk about.


Figure out what is funny and start to implement it into your life. Pay attention to how
funny people stand, move, and talk: the delivery is more important than whats said. For
inspiration, watch The Comedian by Jerry Seinfeld, and check out comedy acts in clubs
around town.

Challenge her.
Most guys, when confronted with a woman they find attractive, immediately assume an
Im less than her stance and practically wheedle her into talking with them, as though
they need to bargain for her attention.
If you want to create FEELINGS in her, a great way of being compelling is to start
challenging her. You can do this by taking the why should I talk to YOU? viewpoint.
Again, not in a malicious way; the idea is to not pre-approve her straight away, as that
automatically puts you on the back foot. Instead, if you can convey to her that youre
going to be a challenge and that youre NOT going to supplicate to her, beg her for
attention, or pay her (with compliments, compliance, drinks, etc) for her time, then SHE
will feel as though shes on the back foot.
Women love a challenge. They love to feel like theyve got to earn something especially
extremely attractive women, who are used to being pre-approved all the time and who
usually never have to lift a finger to do or get anything. Be different. Be challenging.
Evaluate HER.
A great way to convey evaluation and challenge is to pay attention to your body
language and make sure youre leaning BACK. Ever see a guy craning forwards to a
woman, leaning into her, and nodding a lot? It makes him look needy and overlycompliant.
So, if youre standing, dont get too close. Keep a little distance (although dont be weird
about it.) Dont nod whenever she says something. Dont laugh all the time. Dont smile
unless she says something genuinely funny. BE A CHALLENGE.
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How to Start a Conversation With a Woman


A lot of guys equate talking with women with waiting until she disentangles herself from
her friends in order go to the toilet or bar, and then sidling up to her as soon as shes by
herself.
This is a great way to waste an evening. Attractive women are rarely to be found alone
they are more often with at least one other friend. Usually, they are in groups.
(Of course, it depends on what time of day youre thinking of approaching women
are frequently by themselves during the day, but less so at night. So if, for example,
youre going to approach a woman whos browsing the romance section in Borders, this
particular piece of advice may not apply. But Im sure you can figure that out for yourself.)
The point remains: most men are afraid of interrupting a woman, no matter whats shes
doing.
If shes with a group of friends, they dont want to interrupt the conversation (or take on
more than one woman at once.)
If shes browsing the magazines, he doesnt want to interrupt her reading time.
If shes walking her dog, he doesnt want to interrupt in case shes training or playing or
in case the dog doesnt want to be interrupted.
If shes at an ATM, he doesnt want to interrupt because shes withdrawing cash and she
might think hes a bit weird for approaching in such a situation.
(And as a matter of fact shed be right. I just put this last example in here to get your
attention. Common sense is paramount, gentlemen: dont approach women when personal
banking is involved or large sums of money are changing hands, as everyone tends to get a
bit jumpy in these situations.)

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But the fact of the matter is, if you wait until the right time to make your move, you are
going to SERIOUSLY limit your options, and youre going to spend a lot of time waiting
around with your knuckles dragging.
Instead of allowing the situation to wield power over you, why not do the smart thing,
man up a bit, and just INTERRUPT her?
This is an incredibly simple thing to do, and most women are quite OK with being
interrupted (and in fact, most of them are well used to it.) So as long as you do it WELL,
youre not hesitant or apologetic, you have an attitude of strength and character, and
youre not wishy-washy, shes most likely going to greet your words with an open mind.
Of course, it has to be said that sooner or later youre going to run into the girl who just
got fired from her job and doesnt want to talk to anyone right now. But these things
happen, so when it happens, dont stress out just walk away, remember that its NOT A
BIG DEAL, and go talk to someone else.
Simple.
Oh, and one other thing, while were on the subject of social interruptions a few
practical pointers.
1. Know that the first approach of the night (or day) is ALWAYS the hardest.
Expect adrenaline, and expect it to feel weird. Thats OK; its NORMAL. The first approach
is always the hardest, so treat it like a throwaway: dont expect anything from it.
The main reason for doing the first approach, in fact, is to remind yourself that nothing
overtly bad is going to happen to you. Get in, say something, and if its not working after
a couple minutes, get out (although give it a chance. 20 seconds is not a chance. Take a
breath, lean back, and see if a conversation is about to be born.)
2. Make sure you have something to SAY.

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Ask her a question about what shes doing, have a comment or an opinion. For example, if
shes choosing a chocolate bar at the supermarket, say something like, Ooooh, you dont
want to go near those ones. Biting into one of those is like chewing on a brick of sugar
doused in cocoa powder.
Or ask her a question: Ive been standing here for five full minutes now and Im STILL
totally stumped. Can you give me a pointer? I need something mellow but with a nice kick
to it.
Obviously, these are just examples Im sure you have much better ones that you can
think of when it comes time but the point is that you are actually saying something.
Youre not just walking up to her and going, Hey, whats your name, Im Jonathan, its nice
to meet you, how was your day today, what do you do for a living, oh youre a student,
what are you studying, do you like it, when do you graduate, blah blah blah blah.'
3. Introduce a time constraint.
These can absolutely be false, by the way. The idea is to make it clear to her that you are
not going to just hover over her for the next 20 minutes until she has to figure out a way to
get rid of you.
For example, you can say something like, Hey, just before I go and then launch into
your question or comment.
Its always a good idea to say something like, I have to go meet my friends in a minute,
but because this does two things: it tells her that youre only going to be around for a
moment (so no creepy hovering is likely to be on the cards), and it also lets her know that
you have a life. You have some friends. Youre not just some weird guy living in a vacuum
trying to pick up on strange women out of desperation. And furthermore, you also have a
life in which things are happening: youre going to meet those friends.
These are small things when remarked upon so casually, but it is reassuring to a woman to
get a glimpse, no matter how small, of what kind of a life youre leading and what kind of
guy you are.
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Obviously, its not going to make or break her opinion of you, but in the first few seconds
of conversation, you want to give yourself as many boosts as possible.
4. If shes in a group, thats OK. Walk up to the group.
This is a big step if youre not entirely comfortable with talking to strange women yet, and
thats OK. If you dont feel quite ready for it yet, then theres no need to force yourself to
do so.
If, however, you really want to meet someone, or you feel ready to move on from one-onone situations, then heres what you have to do: you have to approach the group. Dont do
what most guys do and wait til she has to go to the bar or the lunch counter or whatever.
Approach the group.
And when you do, dont do what 99.9% of guys do who manage to get up the nerve to
approach a group: dont single her out. Talk to everyone.
Doing so will achieve two things: first, you wont be obviously going after a particular
woman (which makes things uncomfortable for everyone, especially her, since her friends
are watching; and it can make her friends feel alienated and resentful, which can make
things difficult for you.)
Secondly, it will also endear you to her friends, which is never a bad thing; and, it will
prove to her that youre a valuable kinda guy to have around, since, after all, you have
something to offer the group, youre not making things uncomfortable for everyone, and
youre not making things uncomfortable for her.
Some dating coaches advise that, in a group situation, you should actually take it one step
further and make jokes about the target with her friends: How do you stand her, shes
such a loudmouth, shes out of control, isnt she embarrassing you, etc. This can actually
be very effective; but I recommend that you do not attempt to do this for yourself. There
are a couple of reasons for this: firstly, because this is quite a delicate maneuver and most
guys just cant get it right by themselves (i.e. they need a tutor waiting in the wings who
can show them where theyre going wrong)
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and secondly, because what with the advent of the seduction community and
especially its use of the Internet to spread information quickly - there are a lot of guys
out there trying this technique now, and you actually run a moderate risk of the girl
recognizing the technique and I.Ding you as a pickup artist. Thats not going to help your
chances, and it will make you seem unoriginal and deeply lame.
So my recommendation is to steer away from anything thats too widespread in usage.
(And you can consider this recommendation as double strength if you live in a major
metropolitan area, or anywhere with an active seduction community lair.)

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Create Attraction Through Radical Honesty


OK. We all know by now that women are attracted to men.
In case youre not quite clear on what this means, Ill give you a quick breakdown.
Women like MEN because the definition of a MAN is someone who is in control, who can
handle it (whatever it is), who she feels safe around, who offers her stability, and who is
STRONG
in the sense that he has STRENGTH of personality and character (he doesnt apologize
for who he is, he doesnt pretend to be someone hes not, and he doesnt ask her or
anyone for validation or approval of that.)
A few other things that demonstrate strength of personality and character are:
- Proving to her that you can protect her both physically and emotionally/
psychologically. No need for actually fighting other guys here one or two
casual references to the fact that its important to you to make sure the people
youre with are well taken care of or something like that is plenty. (And dont
OVERDO it.)
- Proving to her, when the opportunity arises, that she is SAFE with you, that
youve got her back, and youre not afraid to act when its right to do so. I saw
an excellent example of this just last week when I was out playing pool with a
couple buddies. Everyone was leaving, because the bar was closing up, but this
girl had not been feeling well and was about to leave with the rest of us; but
she wanted a glass of water before she left on her long drive home. The bar guy
rudely refused to provide it for her, saying the bar was closed and he couldnt
do that, sorry. The guy she was with thought differently, so he stepped up to the
plate and made it clear to the guy quietly and politely, but with STRENGTH
that this kind of behavior was simply not acceptable. The bar guy ended up
handing over the water and everyone left happy not least, the girl, who not
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up guy with a STRONG CHARACTER and a good sense of right and wrong
and who wasnt AFRAID to step in when necessary.
The point is, of course, that if you really want to attract top-notch women, you need to
man up and actually demonstrate some strength of personality and some CHARACTER.
And heres how this relates to conversing with women.
If youre with a woman and shes acting out of line maybe shes said something rude to
you, or shes acting bitchy or stuck-up it is absolutely REQUIRED for you to comment on
this.
You have to demonstrate some STRENGTH here, and prove that youre man enough to call
her out on bad behavior.
This also proves to her that youre completely the opposite of desperate: youre not willing
to put up with anything if you can only hang out with her (like so many other guys are).
This hints at the fact that you lead a life rich with options (or else you likely wouldnt be so
quick to risk it all by calling her out)
and it also proves that you dont need her validation or approval in order to be happy
and fulfilled that you are an internally referenced man.
A lot of women will deliberately act catty or bitchy in front of guys to see how theyll
react. If the guy smiles weakly and pretends its not happening, the woman then knows
that shes dealing with a low-grade guy whos not going to be strong enough to take care
of himself, his life, OR her and that most likely hes willing to compromise his principles
and his own personality in order to stay in her good books.
Ironically, its this very behavior that kicks him directly out of her good books, because this
kind of puling, whining supplication is just flat-out weird and will most likely creep her
out.
Lets face it. If shes acting out of line, she knows shes doing it. You know shes doing it.
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So if you dont call her out on it, its actually a lot more awkward for everyone concerned
than if youd just been calm but strong and put her in her place, with a minimum of
emotion.
Heres how to do it.
If a womans acting out of line or offending you, especially if its quite blatant and/or in
front of other people, you must consider the fact that she may be testing you to see how
youll respond.
(This is actually a good sign. If she wasnt interested, she wouldnt even bother testing you
in the first place; shed just walk off.)
And regardless of whether shes testing you or not, lets not forget that truly experiencing
consistent, lifelong success with women is about being that superior-quality guy. So youll
want to pull her into place anyway.
Heres the deal: all you have to do is feed her behavior back to her. Theres no need to
admonish her, suggest an alternate course of behavior, or tell her how her behavior is
making you feel. Just feed it back to her as if youre a commentator.
So, if shes acting rude, all you have to do is say, You know what? That was a really rude
thing to say. I think you must be a very rude woman.
and then stop talking. Dont say anything else. Just pause. The longer the pause goes on,
the more pressure there is on her to do something; and usually, either one of two things
will happen:
- Shell back down, and apologize
- Shell get angry and a short, sharp conflict will arise
Either way, things are likely to come to a head pretty quickly. And this is a good thing,
because it gives you a taste of what kind of woman she is.
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If shes a sweetheart, shell apologize. At the very least, shell want to know more What
do you mean? etc. (In which case you say, What do you mean, what do I mean? and
then stop talking again.)
And if shes a rude or bratty woman through and through, shell either get defensive and
blow up, or shell get angry and blow up. Either way, you are simply figuring out ahead of
time what this womans true colors really are, so you have lost nothing.
One other thing lets say the worst case scenario happens and she gets mad, tells you
to get lost, and walks away.
Dont do ANYTHING. Let her walk away. Dont even say anything: no sarcastic comments,
no good riddance, and definitely no backpedaling or last-minute apologizing or requests
to come back and calm down. Shes making a last-minute bid for power, and if you cave
now, trust me when I say shes going to end up losing interest in you.
Why? Because youre handing the power over to her. Youre taking all the fun out of the
natural give-and-take and UN-MANNING yourself.
If you say nothing and just chuckle quietly to yourself and let her go, you should know that
theres a good chance that shell actually come back to you later on and be more attracted
to you than ever.
Women love a challenge. And by demonstrating that youre a strong guy, who doesnt
need her validation or approval, and whos OK with sticking up for himself and calmly and
firmly stating what he thinks, you are becoming a MASSIVE challenge to her.
If shes particularly attractive, then you get double bonus points, because most guys will
cave around a really hot woman and give her special treatment in case she walks. By
NOT doing that, you are proving that you are unlike any other guy and that you are realdeal high quality.
So: dont be afraid or freaked out if shes rude, bitchy, catty, or sulky. Just feed it back to
her, and then stop talking.
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So What Do You Actually Say?


OK, so pickup lines are dead canned material is helpful, but somewhat limiting if
overdone so what are you meant to say?
First of all: if you want to figure out your own canned material, thats cool. If you can
figure out something interesting to say that gets a good reaction from most women which
is all a good canned line is then by all means use it.
However, I would caution you against relying on canned material yes, even your own
stuff because it can tend to atrophy the part of your brain thats actually able to think
on its own feet and come up with random, spontaneous, unusual things to say that are
relevant to the present circumstances.
What Im saying is: never underestimate the power of your environment to supply you
with things to talk about.
So if you approach a woman as shes standing in your gym looking at the list of group
classes to take, its natural for you to make a comment about what shes doing right now.
You can ask her which one she likes the best, why she likes it, or make a comment about a
class that youve been to. And before you know it, the conversation will be flowing on its
own all without the need for any memorized lines.
Of course, this is something that can be improved a great deal, but for now, just think
about whether this seems like something you could do. Can you walk up to a woman and
make an open-ended remark about something thats going on right now around the two of
you?
If your answer is yes and I certainly hope it is then youve just unlocked the door to a
never-ending well of conversational material.
The ability to be present in the here-and-now and really get interested in what shes doing
and what that says about her is going to go a long way towards making sure that you never
run out of things to say and that everything you do say is deeply relevant to her.
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HOW TO IMPROVE ANY CONVERSATIONAL GAMBIT WITH A WOMAN


It doesnt take a genius to figure out that women are into feelings, right?
Think about it. Women like to spend their time doing things that are based on emotions
reading books, watching movies that are heavily reliant upon character development
(romantic comedies, for example), reading magazines about other women and their lives,
and having conversations with their friends about what happened recently and how they
feel about it.
Feelings interest women. Now its up to you to capitalize on this fact.
When youre talking to a woman, the best thing you can do in terms of being interesting
is to inject some feeling into it. Dont be that guy who talks about his job, his house, his
car, and what shes been up to today. Thats boring. Get interested in being interesting.
Heres how to do it.
First off: make a point of using feelings-based words. The more intense the feeling it
connotes, the better. For example, if you start talking to a woman as shes choosing a DVD
at the movie store, its much more effective to say, Wow, thats a great movie. It got great
reviews and when I saw it, it totally rocked than it is to say, That movies good. I saw it
not long ago and liked it. I hear it did well with the critics, too.
See the difference? Its subtle, but its there. One of those sentences sounds like the
beginning to a conversation that could be interesting. The other one sounds like something
you might not be bothered answering.
The difference? Its in the use of emotional words like great, wow, totally rocked.
Extra credit to anyone who manages to use the word love in a sentence to a woman as
in, Wow, I loved that movie! I definitely have to say, its in my top-3 list of Movies That
Changed My Life.

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The word love has extra-super-bonus potential for pricking up a womans ears, because
its heavily loaded with emotional potential. No, this doesnt mean shes looking for
love it just means that you come off sounding like an enthusiastic guy with something
meaningful to say.
Secondly: try to allow her to get a glimpse of what kind of guy you are, and what kind of
life youre leading, with the first things that you say to her.
Lets stick with the movie-store example for now, and lets say shes looking at the horror
section. You amble on over and start browsing a few feet away from her, and after a
couple moments you say something like, Man, this movie instilled a whole new respect
for zombies in me. Up until I saw this one I was one of those guys who equates zombie
movies with dudes who have totally necrotic imaginations, but after seeing this, me and
my friends experienced a new enthusiasm for this whole genre of movies.
Pause for a beat.
Then ask her a question, so she doesnt feel pressured to start carrying the conversation
for you: e.g., When was the last time you had to literally remind yourself that its only
acting so you wouldnt get too scared during a movie? For me, it was this one right here,
hands-down, 3 weeks ago.
See where Im going with this? This is all interesting stuff. Its relevant to whats happening
around her. And it gives her an idea of what kind of guy you are: someone who likes to
watch movies fairly regularly; someone who has opinions about things; someone who has
friends; someone who knows words like necrotic; and so on.
Can you see how much more effective this is than just walking up to a woman and drilling
her with restrictive, boring questions about where shes from and what her job is like?
When you inject some feeling into a statement, you make it that much more likely that she
is going to get interested in you and what you have to say.

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WHAT DO YOU SAY NEXT?


Excellent. So youve approached a woman, said something to her thats based on your
shared surrounds, youve injected some emotion, and youve asked her a question which
she has responded to.
Now what?
Simple. First of all: get out of your head. If youre busy thinking about what youre going
to say next and how that might seem to her, youre literally setting yourself up for failure
because youre not going to be able to respond appropriately to what shes just said to you.
Youll end up saying something conventional and unoriginal, or a canned line that doesnt
quite gel with the opener, and shell realize somethings off and shell also realize that
you havent been paying attention to her.
So: pay attention to your environment. If youre worried about what to say next once
shes responded to your opening statement, try this on for size: the best thing you can
possibly do to equip yourself with ammo for when your turn comes up is simply to listen
to what shes saying.
Pay attention to her. Pay attention to what shes saying and how shes saying it. Look out for
any ROOT WORDS that are based in emotion or another strong subtext.
For example, if shed responded to your earlier question about scary movies with
something like this: Ugh. To be honest with you, I actually really hate scary movies. Im
actually only in this section because my friends sick and she wanted me to get something
for her to watch, and she loves scary movies.
Where do you go from here?
Well, a lot of men would seize on the obvious and ask about her sick friend, thinking that
this will make them seem nice and caring.
except that, when you think about it, it becomes clear that, actually, you do not want
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to do that. Its a dead end once shes told you whats wrong with her friend, where are
you supposed to go from there? Your only options are more morbid stuff related to ill
health, and frankly, thats not something you should be talking about with a woman.
(Never talk about anything related to sickness with women. Health is sexy and connotes
STRENGTH, which is you guessed it an integral part of being a MAN. Dont get bogged
down in this and lie about whats wrong if youve got a toothache, but dont dwell on it
either. Talking about sickness, or diseases that youve had, will turn her OFF you.)
So then how are you meant to know what to do next?
Look out for the ROOT WORDS. These are the words that have emotion attached to them.
The root words in what she said were honest, hate, and only.
How are you meant to know which the root words are?
Youll know, because they all tell you something about what shes FEELING, and/or what
shes like as a person.
The possibilities for conversation on these subjects are literally endless.
So, you could decide to focus on the root word honest, and say something like, Wow,
you hate scary movies? Big ups to you for even venturing in this part of the store then, the
covers are enough to give any horror novices the heebie-jeebies.
And then ask a question, so she doesnt feel pressured to carry the conversation for you:
But why do you hate scary movies?
Or, you could focus on the root word honest, and say, Hmm, honesty. Thats unusual in
these parts. Ive gotta say, being honest with someone youve just met about how you hate
the very movies that theyve professed undying love for is pretty unusual.
And then introduce a hint of flirtation: I like that in a woman.

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And then ask a question: So what kinds of movies float your boat?
And then make a perceptive statement about her: Going on our acquaintance so far, Id
say youre the kind of person who enjoys really niche-type movies like Australian arthouse, or British comedy but I could be wrong.
SIDE NOTE: If you want to pique a womans interest, dont ask her questions, just make
statements about conclusions youve drawn about her.
These conclusions are even better if theyre not serious: make them seem jokey and
personal, like the example above (you seem like the kind of woman who and shell be
intrigued.
She may ask you, Why, what makes you say that?, to which you should say something
evasive: I can just tell from looking at you that youre one of those high-brow-type
women. I bet you tutor Philosophy students in your spare time, too. And you probably
have a private library at home thats packed with books bound in nothing but leather.
The further you take the joke, the funnier and more outrageous it gets, and the flirtier the
atmosphere becomes.
(TIP: Its best if you say this with a cheeky grin, or a completely deadpan expression. The
latter is slightly more risky, because some women wont know what to make of you but
youll also make a bigger impression on the ones who are OK with kidding around like
that.)
Making observational statements about a woman like that is a very flirty thing to do.
The unspoken implication, of course, is that youve been paying enough attention to her
to draw a conclusion in the first place, and that youre the kind of guy whos got a strong
enough personality to kid around with strangers
and, it proves to her that youre a perceptive, analytical kind of guy whos been paying
attention to her.
Bulls eye.
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But I digress
Back to the root words: you could also focus on the word only, and say something like,
You only came down here to get a movie for your friend? You mean you dont even like
watching movies? You know, Ive heard about people like you, but I never realized they
actually existed. How do you fill the gaping void in your life where movie-watching would
otherwise be?
Responses of this sort balance you out nicely in her eyes. They prove that you are a
perceptive guy whos able to recognize and comment on things about her that shes only
made a passing reference to.
They also prove that you were actually listening to her, rather than thinking about what to
say next or checking her out.
And they also tell her a few more things about what kind of guy you are, and let her fill in
the blanks a little bit.
Looking out for root words, and using them to keep the conversation going, will ensure
that you always have something to say next, and that you will never get caught in a
dead-end conversation that has nowhere to go. And the best part is, it requires very little
forethought other than something to initiate a conversation with. If she responds, she will
usually say something that you can use.
BUT WHAT IF SHE DOESNT SAY ANYTHING INTERESTING?
If she doesnt say anything that you can easily riff off of, its likely that her response was
either something very lukewarm and curt, or simply a wordless grunt.
In either case, you dont have to feel any pressure to make the conversation work. If shes
not in the mood to be pleasant or interesting, you dont have to take it upon yourself to
make something out of that.

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Unless theres something that really interests you about this particular woman, in which
case you can keep trying (Ill tell you how in a second), you can end the conversation then
and there by either:
a) not saying anything in reply and walking away, or
b) saying, OK, well, nice talking to you. Catch you around, and walking away.
If you want to keep trying on this particular woman, thats OK. You can do that. But you
should be aware that theres a chance that she might continue to not respond.
(If that happens, thats OK too. Remember that there are plenty of women out there,
and that many of them will meet your criteria. There is no need to stress or fixate on the
outcome. Remember the abundance mentality and go talk to someone else.)
If shes not responding very well and youre at a total loss for words, its easy to get her
attention and bring the conversation to a whole new level of authenticity. This is something
that can really disarm a woman, and can end up in a very frank discussion with a good
potential for further development.
On the other hand, it can also result in her thinking youre a creep and giving you the
hairy eyeball, so be warned.
All you have to do is feed the behavior back to her. Just like what you do when a
woman is being rude or bitchy, simply say something like, Hmm, you seem kind of
uncommunicative.
And then just wait.
This can result in her opening up and saying something like, Yeah actually, Ive just had
a really hard day and Im feeling a little brain-dead, in which case you get instant access
to almost unlimited numbers of root words for you to play with
and you get the added bonus of proving to her that youre a MAN who is OK with
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taking risks and who doesnt try to tiptoe around in order to get approval with someone.
This is why this technique can actually result in the attraction process speeding right up
youve upped the ante and have cut through the crap by remarking on something pointblank that most other guys would pretend wasnt happening.
On the other hand, it can also result in her saying something like, Are you kidding me?
Im looking at movies here, not taking part in a speed-dating event, and walking away. So
please, just be aware that this is also possible, and dont take it personally.
Which serves as a nice little segue into the next chapter

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HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

Once you start getting out of your head and actually approaching women, youre going
to figure out pretty quickly that its really not as hard as it looks. Most women are pretty
friendly, and even if you dont end up with a backnforth flirting session or a phone
number, you can still have a nice little chat together.
But every now and then, you are going to run into a woman whos just not friendly.
The first time this happens and, often, the second, third, fourth, etc a lot of guys end up
feeling pretty freaked out. They get worried. They get anxious. And then they start doubleguessing themselves and taking the blame: What did I do wrong? Did I go too far? Did I
piss her off? Maybe I should try a new approach. Maybe I should stop for awhile. and
so on.
Heres the best way to handle it. Dont change what youre doing.
Unless youre getting consistent negative responses from most of the women that youre
approaching Im talking 80% plus shooting you down then its not you. Its them.
Seriously.
Sometimes, you are just going to try and talk to someone whos not in the mood to talk
to anyone. This happens. Dont take it personally. Dont attach.
Heres a fact for you: your attitude matters here. How you deal with rejection is
important. The Buddha says: With our thoughts, we make the world.
Your attitude is important.
If you get all screwed up when someone doesnt respond to your friendly conversation, or
a woman doesnt laugh at your joke, or if she takes a bitchy pleasure in making you feel
like an idiot, youre expending energy uselessly and are actually compounding the issue.

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Try this: making progress with women isnt about succeeding or failing. Its about making
progress.
Chasing the state of perfection is the killer here: most guys are cruelly perfectionist in their
approach to, well, approaching women. They want to be great. They want to be perfect.
Theyre afraid not to be great. They dont realize that its a PROCESS.
Heres an interesting fact for you (and a pretty empowering viewpoint to have): becoming
great with women is work. It requires mental and physical sweat, focus, and creativity.
You expend energy, mentally and physically, on your job, your body, and everything else
youre passionate about; becoming great with women requires the same level of intensity.
Setbacks are inevitable; your ability to succeed depends on your ability to regroup, and
not get put off entirely when something doesnt go to plan.
Count on setbacks. Instead of expecting everything to go perfectly, or trying to get
everything to go perfectly, actually expect obstacles. When they happen, accept that you
must be like water and flow around them.
Most guys dont do this. They hope for things to go great. They dont count on obstacles,
and so they figure that, when things do go wrong as they inevitably do they,
themselves, must have screwed up somehow.
The result is that they end up punishing themselves and agonizing over it when something
doesnt end up how they wanted it to, and they get set back in their self-confidence, their
approach style, and inevitably the results they enjoy with the next couple of women
they talk to.
You are learning from everything that happens here. Every woman you talk to is
contributing to your learning curve. So if you run into the woman whose goldfish just died,
take a chill pill and take a mental and emotional step back.
This is not optional. If you are going to make progress, your keys are consistency and an
expectation of obstacles. Plan for them. Learn to regroup.
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If youre talking to a woman and it doesnt go how youd expected even if you end up
feeling like a fool - thats OK. Take a step back. Its not the end of the world. Accept that it
happened, accept that you dont need to care that much about it, and regroup.
Remember the abundance mentality. Its not a big deal. There are lots more women out
there; some of those women are going to experience attraction towards you, and some
will not. And many of those women will meet your personal criteria of great women. So
whatever happens, dont take it personally.
My best suggestion is this: use each experience as a learning process. After it happens,
spend some time thinking about it. Recreate the situation in your head. If it went well,
think about what went well and why it did. If it didnt go so great, think about that, too.
Spend time thinking about how you could have acted differently.
Make no mistake: this thinking time is extremely useful. Youre mapping out the territory
of your brain, and are preparing at times, on a subconscious level for the next time you
meet and talk to another woman.
BUT no negativity, please. No beating yourself up or agonizing over what you did
wrong. Focus instead on how youll react next time rework the situation in your head,
think of better lines to say, and imagine what youd do if you had the chance to relive the
situation.
Doing this is actually a very powerful tool for strengthening your abilities in this area.
When you spend time reworking the situation and mentally practicing, this gives you
more material to riff off the next time a similar situation comes up.
Furthermore, by doing so, youre literally retraining your brain. Rethinking the situation,
in a positive and creative way, literally creates new neural pathways in your brain. Why?
Because the brain cannot distinguish between that which is real, and that which is vividly
imagined.
So, when you spend time daydreaming and imagining new openers and responses, this is not
a waste of time. Far from it. Whats happening is that you are shortening your reaction times
,
and increasing your creativity, literally each time you do it.
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GETTING HER INFORMATION


OK. So youve been talking for awhile anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour. And
now its time to ramp it up a little bit. Maybe she needs to get going; maybe you feel that
the conversations reached its high point and you want to flesh things out a bit more.
Lets deal with what to do next.
First of all, know this: if youve done your homework and have been talking to her about
relevant things related to her and the environment, if youve been giving her glimpses of
what kind of guy you are through your conversation, if youve been injecting emotion and
feeling into the talk, and if youve been paying attention to her root words, then this should
be pretty easy.
Heres what you do.
Hey, this has been great talking to you, but Ive gotta get going/Ive gotta go meet my
friends now/Ive gotta go feed my dog. But we should continue this conversation some
other time. Lets hang out later on this week.
See? Easy. No fumbling requests for her phone number; just a simple statement of fact.
It comes across even more natural because you didnt turn a declarative into a question;
you simply said we should hang out (as opposed to, want to hang out sometime?) Easy.
Compelling. No stress. The onus is not on her; all she has to do is go along with your
leadership (which is what most women are programmed to do once youve built a good
vibe.)
She might say, OK, that sounds good. In which case, its natural for you to bring out a pen
and some paper and say, Cool, when are you free? Ill call you/text you (whichever youre
comfortable with). Again, no need to ask for her number; just giving her the pen and
paper, given the context, is enough.
(Some women are more comfortable with email, so you can also say, Do you have email?
Cool, write it down for me too. If youre not confident enough with the phone yet, thats
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cool, because you now have an easy way around this.)


But what if she balks? What if shes unsure or says, Well ?
Thats OK too. Shes still interested, or shed make an excuse on the spot. The trick is to not
pin her down. Dont give her anything concrete or detailed; a vague suggestion is best. So
you can say something like, We should hang out sometime and have a couple drinks, this
conversations been fun. Simple. Non-threatening. Nothing too heavy or personal. And
nothing that shell feel instinctively compelled to say, Oh, Im sorry, I cant. The less detail
you give her, the less threatened she will feel, and the more natural it will be for her to go
along with it.
So how are you meant to know when is a good time to close? Its easy. Theres really no
way to go wrong. If the conversations been going well and she seems comfortable, thats
the sign to go ahead.
Likewise, if she has to end the conversation for some reason she has to go to work, or
her parkings about to expire, or whatever that can also be your cue to say, You know,
you seem really cool. I think we should hang out sometime if were both available later
this week. Why dont you give me your email and we can figure something out.
The more casual and confident you are hence the statement of intent approach rather
than asking permission or asking for agreement the more comfortable she will be with
you. This all boils down to the simple truth about MASCULINITY: the fact that she is
looking for you to LEAD. By being slightly vague, but confident and low-key, its really
impossible to go wrong. You are acting as if everythings cool, which makes it easy for her
to do the same.
This can feel unnatural to guys, especially if theyre used to putting women on pedestals
and saying terrible things like, You know, youre really pretty. If you dont have a boyfriend
already, can I take you out sometime? so its a good idea if you put a mirror someplace
private (preferably with a door that will shut) and practice nailing your posture and tone of
voice as you do this. Practice making statements rather than asking questions.

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Here are a few things to practice saying (and to get your imagination rolling):
- You know, Ive really enjoyed this conversation. We should meet up later in the
week if were both free, I know this really cool bar that does the best mojitos
Ive ever tasted. (Insert favorite drink as appropriate.)
- You seem like a pretty cool person. Why dont you give me your details and we
can meet up later this week.
- Well, Ive really enjoyed talking to you, but Ive gotta go do you have email?
Cool, write it down for me.
- You know, this has been fun. Why dont you write your information down for
me and we can go grab a bite to eat sometime this week.
When she gives you her information, just say, Cool, whens good for you? and when
she tells you lets say she says, Im free Friday respond with, Cool, Ill call you
sometime before Friday then. See you later.
And leave. Easy.
If shes given you her email address but no phone number, repeat the question about
Cool, whens good for you? and then say, Sweet, well, Ill flick you an email before then
and we can figure out the details later. See ya.
and go.
Simple.
A QUICK NOTE
A lot of guys get really freaked out by the getting her contact information thing. They
read a lot into it. It becomes a big step-up in their minds something they have to amp
themselves up for. Theyre notching it up when they make their move and go in for the
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kill.
Hey. This isnt a big deal. There is no notching it up or making your move. If youre been
focusing on the moment, paying attention to her, teasing her and making her comfortable,
there is no big move. Its just a natural progression from one moment to the next, and
many times it will actually be a foregone conclusion that youre going to be getting her
details.
So dont worry about when youre going to ask focus instead on creating an atmosphere
where its tacitly taken for granted that youll be meeting up later on and there wont be
any big effort involved.

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WHAT TO DO WITH HER INFORMATION


This is the age of the cellphone. It is likely that shes given you a cell number. If she has,
great. Flick her a text straight away: make it jokey and low-key.
Same goes for email. Its a less personal medium than actually talking, so keep things easy
and light and brief.
The purpose of any in-between contact, whether email, phone, text, or otherwise, is not
to get to know her better thats better done face to face, when you meet up next. Instead,
just say something like, Hey, looking forward to continuing our conversation on _____.
Let me know what time is good for you.
And then, if this is an email not a text say something like, Give me your number and
Ill give you a call.
I suggest that you make a point of reestablishing contact soon after she gives it to you.
Call her or text her the very next day. If you wait longer than that, its likely that shell have
forgotten all the good feelings that you created in her, and shell have created a reason in
her head to avoid taking the call or to cancel any plans you might have made.
Something else: she will probably have forgotten most of her good feelings when you talk
to her again. You will probably have to create rapport all over again. Dont expect her to
be the same person she was when you said goodbye last time. Time has elapsed since
you last spoke to her; she will have forgotten what was so great about you. Just exercise
the same principles of focusing on her, asking questions and listening to what she says,
and focusing on root words.
Be chilled out and remember that its not a big deal. Every time you do this, you strengthen
the habit and the skill; dont expect the conversation to go perfectly. You will probably
need to do a little rebuilding before you are back to where you were last time you saw her.
Above all, remember your abundance mentality: this isnt a big deal. There are plenty of
options out there. This is a learning experience that gets easier every time you do it.

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In practical terms: keep things very short and light. Call her up, spend a little time chitchatting about what happened to her today, etc pay attention to root words and expand
the conversation easily this way and remember that the purpose of your call is simply to
reiterate the plans that youve already made last time you spoke.
So, you can say something like, Cool, well, Id better get going. Looking forward to
meeting up with you tomorrow. What time is good for you?
If she needs to change time or date, thats cool. Go with it.
Repeat this procedure until youve settled on a time thats good for both of you.
And then say, Sweet, looking forward to it. Ill see you at ___ oclock tomorrow (or
whenever) then. See you.
And hang up.
Easy. Just a couple minutes is enough two minutes, literally, can be sufficient here
(although expect for something more like five) and youre done.

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Important Points to Remember from Section


Three
Canned material is OK to use as a SUPPLEMENT to your own social skills.
Relying too heavily on memorized lines will hinder your progress. This is about learning
how to go with the flow and adapt, not reciting correct answers by rote.
Pickup lines are DEAD for a reason.
True alpha males dont spend time worrying or talking about how alpha they are.
Focus instead on bringing quality to any situation: be the catalyst for good times and
laughter.
Be VERY CAREFUL when exploring the teasing/cocky route with a woman.
Most guys just end up insulting her or being unintentionally rude. If you are going to try
this, remember that the focus is on playfulness and good humor, not negging.
Be irresistibly compelling to women by evoking FEELINGS in your conversations.
Dont just talk about weather, work, and small talk. Its OK to be unusual.
You are a man.
Part of being a man is experiencing attraction towards particular women. Be OK with
showing this attraction in the way you talk and act.
Learn how to talk about interesting stuff.
The best way to do this is by leading an interesting life that you are passionate about, and
that involves hobbies other than being great with women.
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Use humor.
Dont be the clown, but learn to make people laugh.
If she deserves it, or if you feel like it, challenge her.
Dont be compliant; be the dominant one, instead.
You will usually have to interrupt women to get their attention.
This is normal. If youre one of those guys who lurks around, hoping for a woman to
detach from the group before making your move, your progress will move so slowly as to
be imperceptible.
When talking to a woman, have something to say that is not conventional small talk.
Use time constraints.
That way, she wont worry that youre going to hover over her, and she can open up and
relax.
Honesty is difficult, but is seen as STRONG and SEXY.
Learn how to be radically honest with women as a way of demonstrating strength of
character, dominance, and creating ATTRACTION.
Get her attention.
Be interesting to her by using feelings-based words, paying attention to your/her surrounds,
and being very perceptive of her. Look for the root words that she uses.
You dont have to make it work.

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If a conversation isnt panning out, thats cool. Just say, Well, nice talking to you, and
move off. Dont put pressure on yourself to make it work remember your abundance
mentality. Its NO BIG DEAL.
Daydream to retrain your brain.
Count on setbacks and obstacles.

This is about progress, not perfection. Dont get too attached to the outcome.
When getting her information, act like its no big deal.
When the time comes to get her information, be cool and offhand about it. Dont ASK her
for it; instead, use casual, declarative statements. If youve been doing your homework and
creating the right atmosphere, it will be a natural, easy progression and she will actually
expect it of you.
Only jack-asses wait 3 days.
Reestablish contact soon after getting her info, and dont expect the same level of rapport
as you had the last time you spoke. You will probably need to rebuild at least a bit; thats
normal and to be expected.
Keep all non-facetime contact with her brief.
Use your face-to-face time to get to know her and create attraction; the phone is not a
great medium for doing this. Texts and emails are OK, and can be a great way to flirt
but again, keep them brief and light.

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Section 4: Female Psychology


Was will das Weib? Sigmund Freud
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, asked the million-dollar question, What do
women want?
Despite a long and illustrious life spent churning the muck of the human psyche, he was
still unable to answer that question to any satisfying degree, even on his deathbed.
Today, men are still trying to answer that same question for themselves with about the
same degree of success.
The problem that most guys have with figuring out how to please women is that they leave
two important factors out of consideration:
- Factor one. Women themselves do not know, consciously, what it is that they
want. Therefore, no amount of questioning will induce them to elucidate further on the
matter in a way thats actually helpful to men, since they are literally unable to. What
a woman thinks she wants, and the things that will actually attract her, are completely
different. For example, a woman may think that she wants a nice, dependable guy who
will bring her 3 dozen roses and always call her at the end of the day; but, when she
actually meets a guy like this, shes not attracted to him shes bored by him. The things
that women THINK they want are DIFFERENT to what will actually ATTRACT them.
- Factor two. Women dont want guys who need to be told. They dont want to
explain to you how to please them. They want you to already know. They want
guys who get it.

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So even if you get a roomful of willing, helpful women, and ask them to explicitly state
what it is that they desire and find attractive in men, they wont be able to help you.
Theyll just confuse you more. And unfortunately, asking a woman how you can please her
is likely to turn her off you as a potential mate, even if you follow her advice to the letter.
In the following section, were going to take a look at the behind the scenes needs and
desires of most women, with a view to being able to meet them spontaneously and in a
way that sparks attraction and demonstrates your own, unusual quality.

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Women Want a MAN


Its my own personal perspective here that women and men are both alike and different.
If that sounds to you like Im trying to weasel out of making a definitive statement, allow
me to explain.
Women and men have different BODIES and different BRAINS. Put plainly, we are both
made very differently. Scientists and biologists know this.
However, we tend to have very similar THOUGHTS and DESIRES. We like a challenge; we
go for quality; we want to meet and attract people who can do something for us (i.e. raise
our own value.) We want someone who can care for us and make us feel good. We find
the same things dismaying: neediness, incongruency in word and deed, etc.
BUT: we tend to ARTICULATE these desires and dismays differently from each other.
And in my opinion, this is why there is so much confusion between the genders. After
all, most of our issues about dating and attraction are NOT gender-specific; theyre
HUMAN-specific. But we make things complicated for ourselves by expecting each other
to articulate our (similar) thoughts and desires in the same LANGUAGE that we ourselves
think and speak in.
So: women are actually a lot more like you than you think they are. They just SEEM like
theyre not, because the words they use and the way they EXPRESS THEMSELVES differs
from the way YOU speak and express yourself.
Make sense?
Hmm possibly not. Thats OK, Ill give you an example.
Im going to make a generalization about gender right now, so anyone who prizes Political
Correctness should probably block their ears and avert their eyes. Here goes:
Men tend to like women who are Inherently Feminine. We like women who are being
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women: theyre sexy, soft, vulnerable, appreciate being taken care of by us, and are
basically everything that men are NOT. You know all that good (non-PC) stuff. We look
for partners who can COMPLEMENT US, not COPY US.
Similarly, women tend to like men who are really MEN, in the traditional sense of the
word: masculine, dominant, assertive MEN with strong personalities and definitive
characters. They like men who can take care of them, protect them, and provide for
them on an EMOTIONAL AND MATERIAL LEVEL.
And contrary to popular belief the most important of these two aspects of provision
is actually the emotional side of things. Women are far more attracted to a man who
can make them feel something than they are to a man who can do stuff for them in the
physical world.
Of course, its nice to be able to do both; but its not necessary. If youre neglecting the
emotional side of things in favor of the material world, thats when youll become just
another party-favor machine: the guy she goes to when she wants something, when she
needs a free meal or a ride somewhere.
If, on the other hand, youre providing for her emotionally but not materially, youre far
better off.
The way I see it, there are 3 essential areas of emotional care:
1. Humor. For example, women tend to like men who are humorous, because this is a
form of taking care of her on an emotional level.
If you are able to make a woman laugh, youre providing for her emotionally and
psychologically and demonstrating that you are able to do something for her to make her
life better than it already is.
(Laughing feels good when you make her laugh, you make her feel good therefore
you are providing for her.)

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On a practical note: humor is more about making her laugh in a way that is appreciative
of you, rather than laughing at you. So: more of the witticisms, less of the Klown Kollege.
2. Strength of personality. A major part of being a truly attractive male is having strength
of personality. This all boils down to being able to make her feel safe around you, in a way
that is much more potent than demonstrating an ability to beat up any dudes that look at
her cross-eyed.
When you demonstrate a consistent degree of authenticity between thought, word and
deed, you will make her feel safe and taken care of in a way that is implicitly powerful and
almost subliminal in its effectiveness.
This basically means that you need to be OK just being who you are. You do not walk
on eggshells trying to please her; you dont apologize for yourself or your maleness; you
simply act in a way that is congruent with who you really are.
So if you find her attracted, youre OK with this and you dont try to hide it. If you dont
feel like talking, you dont. If you feel something, your actions convey that feeling.
And you do all this without apologizing for it or trying to pretend otherwise.
You dont try to hide the truth and you dont try to cover it up; youre simply cool with
whatevers happening in your head, and your actions show it in a way thats relaxed and
up-front.
When youre OK with being a man, and when your actions are congruent with your
thoughts and feelings in this way, thats her cue to relax and follow your lead. She can now
be OK with herself, and she is able to be OK with who you are, because youre being a
man and youre LEADING.
3. Authority (being in control.) Most women dont want to feel as though they have
to carry you. They want to feel like youre in charge, you know what you want, and
you are assertive and just self-centered enough to get it. Plenty of guys do things like,
approaching a woman and opening a conversation then looking to her for permission
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to follow through. Or they look for signs of attraction from her before showing any
themselves.
This is both disgusting and boring in equal measures for most women (especially the ones
who are used to men being nervous in their presence.)
Part of being in control is being able to give yourself permission to do things rather than
looking externally for that permission. If you want to talk to a woman, you just go and do
it and you dont look for approval from her when you do. You want to talk; therefore,
thats what you do.
You assume control of the situation, set the conversational tone, and say daring things if
thats what you feel like doing; thus, she never feels like youre shirking responsibility or
looking to her for authority, so shes free to relax and let you lead.
The quickest way to get a woman to relax around you is to be relaxed yourself. This is
because most women unconsciously take their cues from you especially if theyre
attracted to you. So: be decisive. Take charge and be OK with it. Dont ask for approval or
permission. Be a bit more cavalier about getting your own way. And stay in control.
For example, if a woman becomes upset and starts crying, dont let that freak you out by
allowing her behavior to freak you out, you have now lost control. This will make her feel
worse.
Instead, dont get rattled. Remember that your reaction will set the tone. By keeping things
on an even keel and remaining calm, she will soon calm down, too.
This is what I mean by setting the tone: if you lead, but dont make a big issue out of it,
sooner or later, she will follow and she will like it.
4. Bonding.
Learn how to BOND with a woman, and actively create rapport with her.

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Rapport just means that the two of you have a connection, and that you enjoy spending
time with each other. Its not hard to do; but MOST GUYS either dont bother to do it, or
have no idea how. So they remain drooling from a distance.
Storytelling is a great way to bond with a woman. It often creates a kind of rapid-fire
tennis-match effect, where one of you tells a story, then the other one does, then the
first ones reminded of something and tells another story its a very effective way of
creating a personal and deeply interesting conversation that builds and builds on that
CONNECTION.
Bonding is also exacerbated by feelings of consideration and support. She needs to know
that, if you do enter her world, youre not going to cause her any difficulty or strife and,
in fact, youre actually going to BRING SOMETHING to it.
Furthermore, she doesnt want the hassle of hooking up with somebody whos going to
make her look bad in front of her friends.
A great way to prove that you are NOT one of those guys is to make a special effort to
get on with her friends. Dont be cheesy about it no need to buy a round of drinks or
fawn over them but dont make the classic mistake of paying too much attention to your
target, and not enough attention to her friends. They will feel left out, may get jealous,
and almost certainly will not like you. And thats when they drag her away and drip poison
in her ear about you.
Make her friends feel special and that you are interested in them. They will like you; and
she will like you more. Easy.
Another point: pay attention to your energy levels and make sure that you are being FUN
and ENERGETIC at ALL TIMES. Dont get all bogged down in telling gloomy stories or
trying to curry sympathy; you will just drag people down and you will NOT seem like a
great, fun guy to be with. Think about the image youre portraying of yourself: you want
that image to be upbeat and positive. Make sure the things you talk about reflect that.

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A QUICK NOTE ON AGGRESSION: Please note. None of what being a man is about
involves being aggressive or arrogant. It is simply about having the personal strength and
confidence to look to yourself for approval first. It is about not needing the go-ahead from
others before acting. Its about kissing a woman without asking her permission first. Its
about being what you are, and demonstrating total honesty and congruence in thought
and deed.
An aggressive man will try to force the situation and get nowhere; a STRONG man is
confident enough to let the situation ripen in its own time, and knows that she will feel it
if he just steps back and allows her to do so.

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Romance
Most guys tend to think of romance as being something that you do.
For example, theyll treat a woman in a certain way that is quite formal and overly
respectful when they first meet her not making any real flirtations, not joking about sexrelated stuff, not giving her cool compliments basically, theyll refrain from acting in a
way that sets the scene for attraction.
(NOTE: This is often because they dont want to screw it up. Theyre scared to be
authentic and show her how they really feel, because theyre afraid that she will be
offended and then theyll have to start all over again with someone else. You already know
from the previous chapter how most women will feel about this kind of motivation.)
And then, theyll show up at her place with two dozen roses in their hand with a hired
limo and announce that theyre taking her out to dinner in an exclusive restaurant's VIP
room so they can have some seclusion and privacy.
The woman is usually horrified. And rightly so.
Why?
Well, partly because what the guy did was obviously overkill, and any woman whos not
on the Bachelorette show would be creeped out by that.
BUT, its MAINLY because the guy wasnt being romantic he was DOING romantic.
He wanted to ramp things up a bit, so he switched on the romance (or what he
THOUGHT of as romance) in a bid to get something started.
From the womans perspective, this is false, creepy, and deeply unoriginal.
Contrast that kind of conventional, boring behavior with simply being romantic RIGHT
FROM THE BEGINNING, and youll get a completely different result.

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This is my perspective on romance: it is very important. A woman needs to know FROM


THE START how you feel about her.
BUT, most of the ways that guys learn to be romantic from the media, from pop culture,
from TV are WRONG and will turn a woman OFF.
Instead, what really works is to be romantic right from the start but to be romantic in a
way that actually WORKS.
All you have to do is signify that you find her attractive from the very moment that you
realize that you do. Do this by flirting with her.
Tease her. Make her laugh. Find excuses to touch her. Talk about sex. Talk about emotions.
And do all of this in a very offhand, light-hearted, playful way and that is how you
create romance.
BTW: I realize that this differs greatly from the kind of traditional romance that you may
have been brought up on before now.
But all that romance is, is a tool designed to let a woman know that youre attracted to
her and to give her an idea of what your intentions are.
And thats why you dont have to spend money or do anything to be romantic. Its not
something that you give her, or particular things that you do around her its simply how
you are being.
And if youre making her laugh, flirting with her, teasing her gently, playfully touching her,
and building passion and rapport, think about how much more attraction thats going to
build than just treating her like a normal everyday person and then all of a sudden handing
her a bunch of roses.
Its not a switch that can be turned on or off. Its not a set of behaviors. Its a feeling thats
created from how you are being around her.

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Of course, thats not to say that you cant make romantic gestures. Some romance-building
actions to get your imagination going:
- Always open doors for her, car doors included.
- Help her take her coat off, and help her put it on again.
- If youre at a bar, place orders for both of you. Ditto restaurants.
- If youre walking, and theres a puddle or some obstacle coming up, place your
hand in the small of her back and escort her around it. Same thing if youre
walking through a crowded room: guide her through it.
If you want to give her something, its far more romantic and will build far more attraction
if that something is (or appears to be) spontaneous, not a big deal, and personal.
For example, instead of taking her out to some swanky restaurant, turn up at her place
with a bottle of wine and some ingredients, and cook her a meal. She gets to eat it in
the comfort of her own home; she knows that youre making an effort for her; and bonus
points for doing your homework and checking out beforehand what kind of food she likes.
Personally, I never give women cards. All that stuff about caring enough to give the very
best is for suckers. Any sap can buy a card from a store and sign it. Instead, Ill just get a
scrap of paper and draw a funny little picture of her on it, and write something on it about
her that I thought of myself.
(I like to write limericks about people. Its intensely personal, it proves that you pay
attention to her and have been thinking about her, and it also proves that you are smart
and creative. If rhyming is not your strong suit, just Google the words rhyming dictionary
and voila. Instant bonus-points for you.)
Humor goes a long way when giving gifts. Check out the $2 store and bargain shops for
funny plastic rings, pins, and silly little toys. Of course, its best if you strike a personal
note with these sorts of things: e.g. once I was dating a woman who said she had a thing
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for bulldogs. A couple days later I found one of those nodding dogs for the back of her
car that was you guessed it a bulldog. She thought it was hilarious, put it in her car,
and I got bonus points for getting her something personal and funny. I think it cost me $4.
You do not have to spend money to be romantic.
A few more pointers as regards gift-giving: be sporadic. Never let her be able to predict
whether or when you are going to do something romantic for her. Excitement comes from
unpredictability; dont get predictable.
And, dont make it a big deal when you do something for her. Dont act like youve gone
out of your way for her, have spent a lot of money, or expect special attention in return.
Remember, this is not a transaction: youre doing something nice for her because you like
to do so, not because youre trying to get something out of it.
ALERT!! The messages that you see in TV and movies are your ENEMIES!
The marketing schemes of people on Madison Avenue and Hollywood would love for you
to believe that romance is based on MONEY.
They want you to feel like you need to take a girl out for a big dinner or buy her two
dozen roses or bring her an expensive box of chocolates or hire a limousine on a
date, just to impress her.
Shes worth it, say the ads/movies/idiotic actors on TV. And you just know that if YOU
dont do it, some OTHER guy WILL.
Thats OK with me. Let him be the chump, not you.
Let me paint you a little picture.
MORE MONEY SPENT = LESS ROMANCE AND LESS ATTRACTION.
MORE MONEY SPENT = BIGGER DEAL FOR YOU = MORE PRESSURE ON YOU TO
MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN = LESS ROMANTIC.
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LOW COST, FUN, CREATIVE DATE = SMALL DEAL FOR YOU, SMALL DEAL FOR HER
= LOW-KEY, LOW-PRESSURE SITUATION = FUN AND ENTERTAINING = NATURALLY
ROMANTIC.
Of course, if youre in a long-term relationship, its definitely a GOOD thing to make the
occasional costly gesture if you feel like it. Its fun and itll make her feel special and
that shes still worth the effort for you. But DONT do it when youre still ATTRACTING
someone, and DONT do it unless youre in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.
Got it?
All right then.

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Getting Physical
When it comes time to get physical with a woman, it pays to put your attention on whats
happening behind the scenes. Remember: you are the one setting the pace here in terms of
making the first move. She is not going to kiss you. That is something that you are going
to have to do.
But how will you know when the right time is?
Lets go a step back here. Are you both physically comfortable with one another? Can
you play with her hair, sling your arm over her shoulders, or even tickle her if you wanted
to? If the answers no, then youve still got some work to do.
You MUST be physically comfortable with one another before you go in for a kiss. You
need to be able to sit close to her without feeling like youre invading her personal space
and touch her playfully without her drawing away or flinching.
Try this: grab her right hand and tell her that youve just learned how to palm read.
Trace the lines over her palm thoughtfully, saying to yourself, Uh huh. Oh, interesting.
Remarkable. Then let go of her hand and pretend like nothing ever happened. When she
protests, But what did you find out? you can either make up a tongue-in-cheek response,
like, Your palms too wrinkly for me to tell, or give her an actual reading.
(To do this, look at the first dominant line you see running across the top of the palm.
Thats the Heart Line. The higher up this line is, the more jealous and passionate the
person is said to be. If the Heart Line goes straight across the hand, the person is said to
be emotionally controlled. If, on the other hand, the Heart Line curves up towards the
index finger, youve got a keeper: shell be warm-hearted, reasonable, and affectionate.)
The point of this exercise was not, of course, to read her palm. It was actually to see how
comfortable she felt with you holding her hand for an extended period of time. If she was
able to relax with you bending over her palm and studying it, then you know shed be up
for getting physically closer. If, on the other hand, she tensed up or pulled her hand away
after a short period of time, you know that she needs to learn to relax around you first.
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Another great test to see if a girl is ready to be kissed is the Perfume Test. Ask her what
scent shes wearing, and lean in, almost as if youre nuzzling her neck, to get a better
whiff. If she doesnt mind, youve got a winner.
If a girl is STILL physically uncomfortable around you, there are some steps you could take
to loosen her up. Dancing is a great one. Teasing, play-wrestling, or tickling is another
great idea.
Heres just one example. Say youre sitting at a table together when some of your friends
arrive and ask to join you. You say, Sure, and slide in next to her as close and tight as
you can. When she looks at you quizzically, you say, We need to make space for my
friends. Whoops, am I squashing you? Sorry. Then, you scoot away just a fraction while
your broad smile tells her that you were just looking for an excuse to get close to her.
Once your girl has passed the physical comfort test and given you a green light to go
ahead, your job is to keep out of your own way. This is what I mean: worrying, getting
nervous, or wondering whether this is the right time are all activities that are going to tense
you up and completely ruin the moment.
You cannot afford to doubt yourself at this stage. If you do, shell sense your withdrawal
and the slight awkwardness in the situation. If you tense up, shell tense up, too.
Just remember: kissing her is no big deal! If youve been doing your homework, building
rapport, paying attention to her, focusing on her and making her comfortable, flirting with
her, and playfully touching her, she knows whats coming next. Shes expecting you to
make a move. In fact, if you dont, she will likely be crushed and wonder what she did
wrong!
See your kiss as a seal of approval. Nothing more, nothing less. Its just recognition of
the fact that you really like one another and might want to take things further. A kiss does
not necessarily mean that youre planning to have a relationship with her or that you even
want to take her home that night. Its just a simple way of saying, I like you. Youre cool.

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Your first kiss can be as simple as an innocent meeting of the lips, followed by a glance.
The glance is crucial, as you need to see how shes reacted. Ask yourself what you see in
her eyes: is it lust, nerves, concern? Remember: shes looking to you to figure out what
this kiss means and how she should feel about it, so a smile from you will reassure her that
youre happy at the way things are turning out.
How she reacts to the kiss will give you the information you need to decide whether to
continue for a full-on makeout session or whether she needs to relax around you a bit
more. If you notice that her body is tense, she cant look at you in the eye, or she seems a
bit worried, then dont continue kissing. Do something else instead. Grab her hand and
pull her back into the club to get a drink, or, if youre bidding each other goodnight, tell
her that youll call her and walk away.
But what if you couldnt get up the nerve to go for that first kiss in the first place? It was
the perfect time to kiss you could feel it but you just didnt have the guts.
Ive got bad news and good news.
The bad news is that she noticed it, too. She could tell that you should have kissed her but
didnt.
Unfortunately, there will be consequences. If a moment for a kiss came along and you
didnt take it, her attraction for you will likely SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASE.
Why? Because not taking that moment demonstrates fear and insecurity, and an inability to
go with the moment all things that signify lower value to most women.
The good news is that the missed opportunity will be an invaluable lesson for you. You
need to trust your gut instincts. You cant afford to lead with your head. Your thoughts will
make you hesitate every time, and he who hesitates is lost.
If youve just blown a moment with a girl, the first thing you need to do is forget it ever
happened. Seriously. Because if you dont if, instead, you feel deflated and like youre
an idiot shes going to notice it and have LESS respect for you than ever.
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This isnt about you and your stupid mistakes; this is about the relationship you are
forming with this girl every second youre together. The minute you focus on the thoughts
talking away to you in your own head, youve taking your attention away from being with
her, and shes going to notice and feel anxious.
The basic principle is really the same here no matter what degree of physicality you are
getting into: put your attention on her.
So if she seems ready to kiss you shes leaning into you, laughing a lot, playing with her
hair, touching her face, making prolonged eye contact note that shes asking for a kiss,
and kiss her! She will appreciate it, and the moment will be that much more poignant,
because you waited until she was ready you didnt force it, and neither did you wuss out
at the last moment (both side-effects of putting your attention on yourself, instead of on
her.)
Now lets talk about going further.
Some girls are ready to jump into bed with you the moment you kiss them, and others
arent. If you cant tell, then you need to seriously work on reading female body language.
Here are just a few of the things girls do when theyre telling you theyre interested in this
leading to the bedroom:
Push their hips into your groin
Grab your butt
Slide their hands underneath your shirt
Got the picture?
But most girls arent going to give you those kinds of overt signals straight-off. Instead,
theyre going to let you set the pace and watch you closely to make sure that you dont
overstep your bounds.
Dont get turned off by a girls seeming reluctance to go any further with you. Youre
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triggering a womans innate slut defense. Heres how the slut defense works.
Since the beginning of time, women have been socially conditioned to avoid the label
of being easy or a slut. They were afraid that if they gained a reputation as someone
who readily gave in to mens advances, they would lose their social status and, in some
societies, even be killed.
It is crucial that you understand this point if youre going to get to the next level with
women. You cannot see a woman as withholding sex just out of spite or to annoy you.
Rather, a womans resistance to your advances is actually a vital social defense that both
protects her reputation and helps her weed out sleazy, easily dissuaded guys from men
willing to put in the time to woo her.
You have to be willing to face a womans slut defense and disarm it if youre going to get
any further.
Some women have complicated sets of rules where a man can touch certain parts of their
body at first, other parts later, and sex only after a certain amount of time has passed.
Dont bother trying to argue with these women. Even the most rigid woman will break her
rules if the MOMENT is right but be aware that arguing with her, or using logic and
reason, will NOT change her mind.
The best thing you can do is to keep making progress, and let her decide when to stop.
When she figures out that she can be comfortable around you and that stopping or taking
a break is NOT a big deal, thats actually when shes MORE likely to want to keep going.
She just needs to know that you can respect her boundaries first.
So lets look at what conditions need to be in place for her to have sex with you.
Shes got to TRUST YOU if shes going to go all the way with you. Shes got to be sure that
you know what youre doing. Shes got to feel safe enough around you that she can trust
you with seeing her at her most vulnerable when shes naked.
Thats one of those weird things about women: even the MOST BEAUTIFUL women
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usually have some pretty major insecurities. Even if YOU think shes perfect, SHEs wanting
reassurance that you do. Dont assume that a woman knows shes hot just because YOU
think she is.
Womens body issues play a bit part in their willingness to have sex. A girl whos feeling
fat wont want to take off her shirt for you in case you see her fat rolls. No matter how
many guys tell her shes hot, she wont believe it until she loses that ten pounds she thinks
she needs to lose. Its dumb, but its a fact, and you as a guy are going to have to deal with
it if you want her to take her clothes off.
One way to disarm her is through compliments. As much as compliments are off-limits in
the INITIAL stages of dating, theyre CRUCIAL here. Compliment her skin. Tell her that
she has a beautiful figure.
Be honest about it; dont just say it to get into bed with her. For example, dont tell her
shes got a tiny ass if she doesnt; focus your compliments on TRUTH and make it sound
good. E.g. you have such a perfect hourglass figure! goes down much better with curvy
girls than waxing rhapsodic about how qualities they DONT have (leanness, toned-ness,
etc) women want to know youre being TRUTHFUL, as well as complimentary.
The more she feels like you see her as she truly is beautiful as she is the more willing
shell be to let you see her unclothed.
Its a tall order: youve got to somehow convince a girl that its okay to let you see her
naked and that you wont abuse her trust. Youve also got to make sure that she doesnt
feel used. She needs to feel as if this experience will be special to you and not just another
notch on your bedpost.
So how are you supposed to do all that?
With some women (read: ordinary women who dont spend all their time in bars), its
going to take some time. Dont rush anything. Holding back on sex can actually make
her crazier about you. Thats because trust is a crucial factor in a satisfying sexual
experience for a woman. If she feels cared about and taken care of, shell get hooked
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on having sex with you. If, on the other hand, she feels like you rushed her into it and
focused on gratifying yourself, shell leave the sexual encounter feeling dirty and used.
Make no mistake: women tend to have emotional requirements about sex that most guys
just dont have. Youve got to be careful, especially where alcohol is involved. If shes
drunk, you can think that shes giving you all the green lights only to wake up the
next morning being accused of rape. Dont go there. Take your time instead. Let her get
comfortable being with you. Make sure she feels taken care of. If she wants to slow things
down or stop, give her exactly what she wants. Dont feel so driven by your need for sex
that you cant play the game.
Another thing youve got to do is take a second look at YOUR attitude towards sex. Dont
let her convince you that sex is something shes giving up for you. I hate the idea that sex
is something women give and that men take. If shes coming on to you and enjoying it
as much as you are, then its consensual. No one is giving up anything. Make it clear
that you only want to have sex with her insofar as shes 100% on board as well.
Clear your mind of any feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy about sex. Ive spoken
to a lot of guys who feel that they were permanently scarred by their sexual experiences
as teenagers. They think that because chicks rejected them back then, theyre going to
be rejected now. I get how that works but youve got to GET OVER IT if you want to
enjoy sex NOW. Once youre an adult, youve got a clear slate to have all the consensual,
safe, protected sex you want. There are a lot of single women out there who want it, too.
Things are different to how they were when you were a teenager. Dont let negative past
experiences keep you from claiming the active sex life you deserve.
If youre not sure how to tell a woman, I want to have sex with you, in so many words,
then heres a failsafe technique to ask her if she wants to go to bed with you:
At the end of a fun evening out, ask her to your place for a nightcap or a coffee.
Virtual every woman on the planet will know what you mean. If she goes back to your
house now, even if its just under the pretense of looking at some photographs or having a
coffee, there will be making out and quite possibly sex on the menu.
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It should go without saying that you should only ask her back to your place if your place is
suitable for female company. In other words, you hopefully dont live with roommates (or
your parents), your bed was fairly recently washed and made up this morning, and your
bathroom is CLEAN. Shell be judging you from what she sees, and one porn magazine
left on the toilet could send her out the door before you can open your mouth to explain.
If she asks you back to her place, all the better. Youre a lucky man: youre going to be
able to sit back, accept a glass of wine, and let her come onto you without lifting a finger.
At this point, you know what to do. Start making out on the couch, move to the bedroom,
and you can take it from there.
If you havent had much experience in this area, though, here are a few tips to make you a
bit more confident.
This isnt about how well you perform; its about how much she enjoys it. If you FOCUS
ON HER, the experience will be much more enjoyable for both of you. Im not going to
go into detail here, but first things first: as far as you are concerned, the experience is now
about her. Focus on making her feel good and let her finish FIRST. This may take some
time most women take about 45 minutes to climax. Some women dont climax the first
time theyre with a new lover. Thats OK.
Know that, for a woman, good sex is a combination of the right man and the right time.
You may need a couple of encounters with the same woman for her to relax and enjoy it
enough to finish with you.
Dont stress, and dont get all tied up inside your own head worrying about it. Thats just
another way of putting your focus on you, and it will reflect in your actions and in both
of your enjoyment of the situation.
And as far as cuddling goes

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You Must Learn To Enjoy Cuddling. This Is Non-Negotiable.


Afterwards, just lie there and chill out together. Talk to her. Touch her. Its normal and nice
to cuddle and if you dont like to cuddle, be aware that this is a problem. You must learn
to like cuddling.
(And if you dont like cuddling, can I just ask whats WRONG with you, man?! This is
your opportunity to embrace a naked or semi-naked woman and just hang out together for
awhile. Trust me: learning to like cuddling is not that hard.)
If you want a repeat performance, you must again focus on her. And most women want
you to stick around and cuddle, or at least, lie there together and soak up all the good
energy the two of you just created together. Focus on making her happy and creating an
experience that she will enjoy, and everything will be that much better for both of you.
Reassure her. Women get freaked out too. She wants to know just as much as you do that
you enjoyed her performance, that you think shes beautiful, that youre really turned on
by her. She wont know these things unless you tell her, so tell her!
Also: some guys try to take the teasing thing into the bedroom. This is not a good idea.
Now is not the time to be coy or to tease once the clothes come off, so do the defenses,
so no joking around and no cockiness or teasing. Now is the time to be sweet and tender
and all the stuff that you generally do NOT do when youre in the field.
Sex is just another area where you are, to a large extent, setting the tone. So: be calm and
relaxed. Dont rush things. Be comfortable and at ease, and she will be, too.

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Important Points to Remember from Section


Four
Women cannot and will not tell you what they actually want in a man.
They can only tell you what they THINK they want, which is different.
You set the tone.
Women tend to be attracted to MEN who are strong, dominant, decisive, and who LEAD
the situation by setting the atmosphere and tone.
Provide for her physically and emotionally.
Use humor, strength of personality, and authority to do so.
The best way to get a woman to relax is to be relaxed yourself.
Aggression and strength are not the same thing.
Use romance skillfully and immediately.
Romance is about how you are around a woman right from the start. It is not something
you switch on when you want to ramp things up.
You are always the leader.
When it comes time to get physical, whether thats a kiss or making love, YOU ARE THE
LEADER. She will not make the first move (usually.) Dont expect her to. Pay attention to
how she is acting around you and when the moment seems right, escalate.
Sex is better if you focus on her pleasure.

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If you dont already, learn to like cuddling.


Cuddling is fun, stress-free naked time. She likes it. She will like you more if you like to
cuddle. It will make the relationship, whatever the duration, better for both of you. It will
make her want to have more sex with you. Whats not to like about cuddling?

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Section 5: How to Make a Relationship Last


Sometimes, you are going to meet a woman who is special. One that youd like to keep
around for awhile. Or maybe even longer than awhile.
If so, great. Long-term relationships are inevitable if you practice the lifestyle of a truly
superior man.
This is a book about meeting and attracting women, less so about the science of
relationship management. But, because you are eventually going to meet someone that
you can imagine yourself with forever, I want to make sure you know what youre getting
yourself into. You need to understand how your strategies with women are going to need
to change, and how to do it. Here are a few ideas that might help.
Should You Bother with Long-Term Relationships?
By now, you can consider yourself an expert on how to attract a woman and build
attraction. Unfortunately, you may have to throw everything youve just learned out the
window when it comes to being a good mate to just that one woman.
Dating behavior is not the same as relationship behavior. Once you move in with a
woman, the rules turn upside down. When you argue with one another, you cant just
walk out the door. Youre not going to be able to escape her when shes grumpy or needs
support. When all you want is some peace and quiet to watch the game on TV with a beer,
you may find that she needs your attention.
In short, being in a relationship can totally freak you out.
I want to give you a reality check here about relationships, because I want to make sure
that you know what youre getting into. Some guys can idealize having a girlfriend, but its
not all a bed of roses.
Women often change when they get into a secure relationship. Some girls become nags,
while others stop making any effort with their appearance and lose interest in sex. Still
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others start taking their guy for granted and treat him like hes less just because hes
male. Other women will morph into your mother.
I can almost guarantee that youll fight more often than you did back when you were just
dating. Conflict comes with the territory. You might find yourselves squabbling over silly
things like whos going to take out the garbage, how to spend money, and whose parents
to visit at Christmastime.
All those things that you were able to hide from her in the early days of your courtship are
going to come to light. Once you share a bed and a home, theres not much you can keep
secret from her. Your secret porn stash, photos of old girlfriends, female-unfriendly habits
like swigging milk straight from the carton and reading Victorias Secret catalogues while
taking a dump yep, shes going to find out all about it.
So you need to be completely honest with yourself about whether youre ready, at this
stage in your life, to take these kinds of challenges on board.
Im not saying that a relationship isnt worth the effort. What I am saying is that its going
to require some awareness and some realism on your part. Especially if you move in
together, her opinion is just as important as your own. It helps if youre OK with things like
putting laundry in the hamper, picking up after yourself to a certain extent, and trying not
to put empty cartons back into the fridge.
And by the way a good way of figuring out whether youve found a keeper or not is that
you WANT to do these things, because you want her to be happy and comfortable around
you. I.e. theyre not just chores to be done because youll get in trouble if you dont do
them.
Another reason that its crucial to consider what youre getting into is that its going to
be harder to break up with her the longer you stay together. If you live together, have
purchased things on credit together, and have the same friendship group in common, its
going to be a major undertaking to break up. Some guys get in so deep, with someone
whos not actually right for them, that the sheer INCONVENIENCE of breaking up is what
decides them to stick with an unsatisfying relationship.
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So let me ask you again: do you still want a long-term relationship with this girl?
If your answer is yes, I gotta congratulate you. You are going to learn things from this
relationship that you could never have learned as a single man. Theres just something
about how a relationship pushes our buttons that forces us to man up and face our
shortcomings. Maybe communication isnt your thing. Maybe you dont know how to
deal with conflict. Maybe you cant deal with changing your lifestyle to suit someone else.
Whatever it is, youre going to have to face it and work on it for this to succeed.
Each and every relationship you get into is a learning opportunity that is going to teach
you tons about yourself and tons about how women think. I wouldnt go back and change
any of my relationships for anything. Some of them ended in flames, and some of them
were downright bizarre, but what I got from those experiences far outweighed the hassle.
In fact, Id even go so far as to say that long-term relationships make boys into men. You
start learning what it means to really care about someone ELSE. You start learning what it
means to put someone elses needs equal to your own. You start learning how to be 100%
honest with her and with yourself, even when its scary and painful to do so.
And, as an even greater bonus, being in relationships makes you more attractive to
women.
No joke. I cant tell you how many guys have described this phenomenon to me. Why is
it, once youre in a relationship, suddenly all these girls who wouldnt look at you twice
back when you were single start sending you signals and coming onto you? Ever noticed
that?
There are a few reasons for it. First, women rely on other female opinions to tell them
what to think about someone. If a girl likes you enough to be in a relationship with you,
then thats a pretty powerful stamp of approval.
Second, when youre in a relationship, you actually give off a different impression than
when youre single. One girl I know who used to date married men told me that it was
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because married men were much calmer, more confident, and more satisfied with their
lives than single men. Single men just had a hungry edge to them that immediately put
up a girls defenses.
Finally, if a girl is considering dating you, one of the first things she wants to know about
you is how many relationships youve had in the past. You get this with online dating all
the time. A woman will actually make a judgment about whether to date you based on
how many long-term relationships youve had and how long they lasted. So its to your
advantage to be able to say that youve been in a few long-term relationships!
Now that youve made the decision to go for it, here are a few tips to make sure your
budding relationship goes smoothly.

First: you cant lock her down.


For a lot of guys, once they meet the woman of their dreams, its like the walls are closing
in. Theyve done everything right up until now and, now that their efforts have come to
fruition and theyve got the girl, they freak out. They start to worry. They become anxious
that something will happen, she will lose interest/develop interest in another guy, and that
ultimately she will leave them.
This is a terrible way to approach a relationship with a woman. First of all, as you know,
fear-based behaviors have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies: once you let
yourself become motivated by FEAR, you are taking a big step towards realizing that reality
that youre so afraid of.
In this case, a fear of losing her usually translates into a kind of emotional lock-down
attempt. The guy in question holds on too tightly in an attempt to make her stay.
And of course, since this is another human being were talking about here, with her own
needs, desires, and emotions, it must be said that you cant lock her down. You cant get
a guarantee that shes going to be around as long as you want. Shes a human being, and
this is a relationship between two human beings: there are no guarantees.
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So realize that, yes, its true that she may not be around forever; relationships do run their
course and most of them will not last a lifetime. Thats just the way things are.
Instead of struggling against this reality, accept it, and focus instead on making the most
of the time you do have with her: appreciating her for who she is, appreciating the
relationship for what it is, and allowing the two of you to create happiness together thats
based on honesty, true presence in each moment, and acceptance of the way things are.

Second: time apart will enrich your bond.


This is an offshoot of the first point, but deserves a mention in and of itself: any relationship
will crumble if subjected to too much we time.
The thing that will dissolve sexual chemistry and mutual affection faster than just about
anything else with the possible exceptions of jealousy and dishonesty - is too much
togetherness.
Remember how, in the building attraction phase long before you got into a relationship
you learned that part of being a really interesting, excellent guy is leading a great life full
of people and things that you are passionate about?
Stay true to that reality. Maintain your interests in things other than your relationship.
Let her have time alone and with her friends. Dont give her a hard time about it or act
jealous. Instead, focus on yourself and your life, and keep seeing the people and doing the
things that give you pleasure.
This will keep the chemistry alive between you, give you plenty to talk about, and fuel
your reality as a genuinely blue-ribbon-quality man who has a lot going on in his life.
It will also prevent the relationship from ever getting stale; it will keep things alive in the
bedroom; and it will remind you on a very visceral level that you always have options.

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Im not talking about going out and flirting with a whole bunch of other women the
moment her back is turned, but simply doing things that give you pleasure outside the
scope of your relationship will keep you grounded in your life. It will prevent desperation
or neediness from ever coming to the fore. It will remind her, in a very healthy way, that
you are and continue to be a high-caliber guy who has a lot going on, and who wants
her but never needs her. Thus, the two of you will never take one another for granted or
become inured to the other. And finally, it will keep you energetic and interested in a
balanced life of which a balanced relationship is just one - very sweet - aspect.

Thirdly: dont get predictable.


Predictability is a HUGE killer of attraction. When a relationship first starts out, everything
is fresh and exciting. But over time, without effort, some couples let things sink into a rut
and wait until theyre both bored to death before actually doing anything about it.
Dont let that happen to you. Keep things from getting boring by NOT BEING
PREDICTABLE YOURSELF. Dont always do the same things together. Dont let activities in
the bedroom become routine. Spending time apart is a great fuel for unpredictability, but
you also want to make the time you do spend together to be fresh and exciting.
Instead of wasting energy trying to make her different, focus instead on yourself. Lead by
example. Prevent her from taking you for granted by being unpredictable yourself.

Fourthly: no relationship lasts forever.


A big contributor of taking one another for granted is the expectation that she will be
around forever. Heres a fact: NO relationship lasts forever. At the very least, one day it
will be interrupted by death. As with all things in this world, relationships and feelings are
temporary.
So dont waste energy trying to make your relationship into something its not (forever).
Dont try to lock her down. Instead, try this: accepting each moment with her as a gift.

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Recognize that she could leave at any moment. Be present with her each day and focus on
appreciating her presence in your life, rather than worrying about what might happen.
What Happens When Youre Ready to Commit?
Sometimes, a relationship can feel so amazing that you want it to last forever. Coming
home to her is like stepping through the doors of heaven. You wish that you could just
whisk her away to a deserted island for two weeks and lie with her on the sand with
coconut juice dribbling down your chins and palmetto fans swishing in the background.
Being in a good relationship can totally change your life. Scott Wetzler of the Montefiore
Medical Center in New York City explains a well-known medical fact:
In general, marriage tends to make people healthier, happier and richer, and thats
especially true for men.
Youll live longer, feel better, and earn a higher salary as a married man. Plus, youll get
more sex than you did when you were single. Remember all those long dry periods you
experienced as a bachelor, when it seemed like you couldnt pick up a single chick? Those
days will be gone forever.
You know as well as I do that there are risks to getting married, too. Youve only got a 5050 chance of staying together. If you get a divorce, youre looking at losing half your assets
in the settlement. Plus, if you get divorced and have kids, youll be paying child support
for the next decade or so.
Thats why I strongly recommend that you research beforehand what it takes to create a
committed relationship and keep it committed. You dont want to jump into marriage
without any clue of what its going to take to keep this puppy alive. Besides, if youre like
most guys, you probably have strong doubts about your ability to stay with one woman
forever anyway. How can you be sure that youll still be attracted to this woman in 5 or
10 years time?
Meet Your Sweet has created the perfect course to teach you everything you need to know
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about commitment and more. Whether you just want to be happy in the relationship
youre in, or whether youre thinking about proposing to the girl youre with, this online
course (available as an audio book as well as e-book) will teach you what to expect and
how to succeed.
Trust me: there are a lot of things that youve probably never thought about in your
relationship that are going to come back and bite you. You need to know what to do if
she suddenly turns into your mother, starts nagging you, or complains all the time. You
need to know what to do if your sex life suddenly slumps, you make a major mistake (like
an affair), or you stop finding her attractive. You need to know what to do if you suddenly
want out of the relationship but fear that youre making a huge mistake.
From First Dates to Soul Mates will teach you all these things and more.
Written and read aloud by esteemed online relationship expert Amy Waterman, From First
Dates to Soul Mates goes into all the nitty-gritty details of being in a relationship. Youll
learn precise techniques to figure out if this is really and truly the girl you want to commit
to, as well as what to do if there are things about her that you wish you could change.
Youll discover how to keep your relationship fun and easy without having to stress over
it, as well as proven techniques for fighting better, talking about hard stuff, and cheatproofing your relationship. Dont miss out on this extraordinary, never-before-revealed
technique for keeping the magic alive!
If youre serious about making a go of this relationship, you cant afford to pass this up.
Backed by Meet Your Sweets ironclad moneyback guarantee and solid-gold reputation,
this course will give you the opportunity of a lifetime to keep the girl and keep your sanity.
Get serious about getting better at relationships. Sign up for your own trial copy of From
First Dates to Soul Mates today! Visit:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/commitment/men/

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Important Points to Remember from Section


Five
You cant lock her down.
Dont even try to get a guarantee. Dont waste time or energy trying to control what
she does, feels, or wants to do. She will like you MORE if you are able to recognize her
independence and autonomy from you.
If you ever find yourself needing to get a guarantee that she will love you forever/always
be attracted to you/always be around, chill out. Those guarantees will never come. Let her
do her own thing and your bond will be much stronger.
She may not be around forever.
Dont fight this possibility. Use it as motivation to appreciate her while she is around.
Spend time apart.
Remember the importance of having your own life and your own passions that arent just
about women? You need to hang onto that. Keep things fresh and alive by focusing on
yourself and having time to do your own thing.
Predictability is the kiss of death.
Dont let things fall into a routine. Keep trying new things. Be up for adventures. Have fun.
Dont get stale.

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Afterword
I think we all know that theres no literal magic bullet out there.
BUT, there ARE plenty of VERY SIMPLE things that you can do with yourself and in your
life, which, by the very act of doing them, begin to create MAGICAL CHANGES in your
life and with the women that you attract.
You dont need a magic bullet to create magic.
You just need to be able to TAKE ACTION.
You need to actually get out there into your life and start DOING these things in order to
experience that magic. You cant just READ about them and HOPE for things to happen
at some point, youve got to stop reading and actually start DOING what weve talked
about in this book.
This book is about giving you the tools with which to think for yourself, to enable you to
be able to make those all-important, realtime decisions for yourself.
Success with women, both in attraction and relationships, is less about having the right
thing to say, and more about the ability to be appropriate to each and every moment as it
shows up in your life.
That is the essence of being an excellent man: not following somebody elses idea of what
works with women, but instead, figuring out what your personal truth is, and working out
a way of demonstrating that truth and that personality to women in a way that they find
attractive and in a way that remains true to you.
Your own counsel is whats always going to lead you down the path of enlightened selfinterest: that is, acting with enlightenment, in a way that best serves your desires.
But remember: its a process. This is not about perfection. You have to get on that road and
walk it before you can reach the endpoint.
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Now stop reading about it and go and DO IT. Cross the abyss between knowing and doing.
Do it. You deserve to be happy. And so do all the women out there who are wondering
when theyre going to meet a guy just like you.
Best of luck.
Be cool,

Slade Shaw and Mirabelle Summers


MeetYourSweet.com

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Bibliography/Recommended Resources
Blanton, Brad. Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth. New
York: Dell Publishing, 1996.
Benzer, Alex. The Tao of Dating. www.thetaoofdating.com (p15)
Chopra, Deepak. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. California: New World Library,
1994.
Deida, David. The Way of the Superior Man. Boulder: Sounds True, Inc, 2004.
Hill, Napoleon. Think And Grow Rich. USA: Best Success Books, 2008. (70th Anniversary
Edition.)
Kane, Ariel & Shya. Working On Yourself Doesnt Work. New York: ASK Productions, Inc,
2000.
Keen, Sam. Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man. New York: Bantam Books, 1992.
Morris, Desmond. The Pocket Guide to Manwatching. London: Triad Grafton Books, 1988.
Mystery. The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed. New York: St
Martins Press, 2007.
Neville. Your Faith Is Your Fortune. Camarillo: DeVorss Publications, 1941.
Taylor, Sandra Anne. Secrets of Attraction. California: Hay House, 2001.
Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. California: New
World Library, 2004.

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Watts, Alan. The Wisdom of Insecurity. New York: Vintage Books, 1951.
Watts, Alan. The Way of Zen. New York: Vintage Books, 1989.
Weiss, Max. The Zen of Meeting Women. USA: Max Weiss, 2007.

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Recommended Reading
Being truly attractive to women is all about being the best man that you can, in order to
attract the best woman for you.
In other words, faking it isnt really an option and you probably already have a fairly
good idea of my stance on manipulation and mind-games.
So with genuine self-betterment in mind the concept that you must be the best you you
possibly can be, in order to create the relationships and love success with women and
life that you really want Ive appended a short list of 4 Mirabelle-vetted books that Ive
personally reviewed with your transformative journey in mind. (Ive even helped author
some of them!)
All of the books Im recommending you can find at this website right here:
https://www.meetyoursweet.com/men/

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First Dates to Soul Mates: How To Take Things To The Next


Level Of Commitment
by Amy Waterman
This book is all about building the love, affection, and long-lasting relationship that you
want and deserve.
Imagine how it would be to have a partner who is genuinely and deeply committed to you
and your relationship?
Imagine never feeling insecure about the future again?
Imagine knowing that the two of you want exactly the same things, and are going to build
on a lifetime of love and happiness together?
If you want to put an end to unfulfilling relationships, take things to the next level of
commitment, attract emotionally available women, who take you seriously and support
you in your life goals, and learn how commitment really works for women, then youve got
to read this book. Its crucial to your love life success.
Amys discovered a foolproof method of magnetically attracting your partner to grow in
closeness and commitment on physical and emotional levels as time goes on.
How would it be to be completely immune to the death of love and closeness in your
relationship? To be in a relationship with your best friend, your favorite person, the woman
you love more than anyone in the world and to have those feelings reciprocated?
Its like magic. But the best part is, its not actually magical at all it just takes knowledge.
If you want to create the ultimate relationship improve your relationships starting
RIGHT NOW create better communication with everyone around you achieve true
and lasting physical passion in your relationship and strengthen your relationship with
your partner, even in times of stress and change then I strongly recommend you read
this book.
Itll change your life in ways you never knew was possible.

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You can access the book at this web address right here:
https://www.meetyoursweet.com/commitment/men/

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Supreme Self-Confidence in Dating, Relationships & Social


Situations
by Slade Shaw
How to know if this book is for you?
Let me ask you a few questions:
Have you ever seen someone from across the room that you really like, or who you'd
really love to meet.... but were too overwhelmed by fear and nervousness to go over and
start a conversation?
Have you ever felt like you don't deserve the kind of woman that you are REALLY attracted
to, and as a result always settle for second best?
Have you ever felt yourself shaking with self-consciousness when you are talking to a girl
that you've got a crush on? Lost your words? Can't be your best self?
Have you ever been in a relationship where you got emotionally insecure and ended up
driving your partner away by your clinginess and insecurity?
Have you ever fallen in love with someone before you've even dated her and got jealous
and upset when she goes out with someone else?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, then this book is a great fit for you. I
strongly believe that this information could actually be life changing for you....
When you're not self confident, then you get nervous and act differently at times when
you feel stressed or need to be at your best. For example: on a date, or when you're
approaching or talking to a woman you're attracted to.
If your confidence betrays you at these vital times, then you may actually struggle to

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make your life turn out the way you want it to. Confidence is attractive, and without it, it's
difficult to attract a really good catch.Why?
Women base their assumptions of you on what they know of you. That's why first
impressions can be so hard to change. If what she sees of you in the first few moments is
all she knows of you, then as far as she's concerned, that image she has in her head of you
IS YOU.
So if you meet a woman you are attracted to and act nervous, fumble your words, and run
out of things to say
then as far as she knows, you are the kind of person who is nervous, fumbles their
words and runs out of things to say.
(Of course, a little nervousness - with a smile! - can be endearing and can even help you,
but if you can't let your best self shine through soon, and if you end up getting so nervous
that you just want to get out of there, then it's hard to see her ever becoming attracted to
you.)
Also, it's really unfortunate that people may assume from your shy or nervous behavior
that you simply don't like being around them.
They pick up on your discomfort.
They may end up becoming quite negative towards you as a result, because they think that
you've rejected them first when in reality you just didn't know what to say or do.
And this is exactly the kind of problem that this book deals with in detail.
By reading Slades book, you'll become a man who enters an approach with confidence,
and enters a relationship WHOLE without needing someone else to 'complete' you.
You'll be looking for a woman to 'complement' you instead.

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This is one of the most powerful and special characteristics that you could possibly offer
to a relationship. The self-confidence that I want to impart to you will instantly help you
become a more balanced man who is able to manage the challenges and negotiations that
all relationships bring, and grow in confidence and attraction.

You can access Supreme Self-Confidence at this web address:


https://www.meetyoursweet.com/selfconfidence/men/

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2nd Chance: How to Win Back the Love of Your Ex


by Mirabelle Summers (co-authored by Amy Waterman)
If you're going through the emotional turmoil of a break-up with a woman that you
really didn't want to happen (or now regret happening), then you have my whole hearted
sympathy. I know what you are going through. It isn't a happy place and it isn't an
exaggeration to say that can even feel like someone has just died.
There is not a lot in this world that is more painful than the feeling that the woman you
love no longer loves you back, or feels the same about you.
Anyway, we've established that breaking up is an awful experience. And in this book, Im
going to reveal to you my most powerful methods for winning back your ex.
But first I have a very important question to ask you before carrying on ...
Why Do You REALLY Want To Get Back Together With Her?
And Is It REALLY A Good Decision To Make?
Were you and your ex really good together? Did she treat you the way you deserve to be
treated?
More importantly, did she support you in your goals - and did you support her
wholeheartedly in hers? I'm asking that question in particular as it is the biggest
determining factor in long-term relationship success according to numerous studies.
The first thing that you need to do right now is STOP doing what ever you are doing to get
her attention back. No more sending flowers or begging for forgiveness! (Yes, really. Even
if you genuinely feel that you are in the wrong, stop apologizing and stop begging.)
Don't worry, I'm not talking about 'treat her mean, keep her keen' or any of that nonsense.
But you DO need to understand what is going on inside her mind (which I cover in my
book), and you DO need to give her space (if you aren't), and you DEFINITELY need to get
your life back in order.
The most attractive thing that you can do right now, before anything else, is to get your life
back on track. See your friends, your family and make some exciting plans for the future for example a holiday away or something to look forward to.
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Any woman will be A LOT more attracted to the mystery of 'why are you so happy?' than
she will be attracted to you trying to win her back through letters, guilt and smothering.
While it may feel those tactics are about winning back her love, to her, they seem more
about you and your feelings than they do about her and respecting her feelings. That
doesn't make you attractive - it makes you look desperate and self-serving.
Trust me with what I'm saying about focusing more on getting yourself happy first (without
making her responsible for your happiness) and you'll double your chances of winning her
back, right off the bat.
The above is really just a quick stepping stone to give you a much higher chance of
winning back your ex, but, I cover absolutely EVERYTHING that you need to know about
how to win your ex back and keep them craving more, in my book "How to Win Your Ex
Back".
Essentially, I've written this book to guide you through the process of healing the pain of a
breakup; recognizing why it happened in the first place; figuring out whether it genuinely
is a good idea to get back with your ex; and, if it is, I tell you exactly EXACTLY! what
you need to heal the wounds and make your relationship better than it ever was before.

You can access 2nd Chance at this web address:


https://www.meetyoursweet.com/2ndchance/men/

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Conversation Chemistry
by Mirabelle Summers (co-authored by Amy Waterman)
When renowned online relationship expert Amy Waterman and I started researching and
writing Conversation Chemistry, we were initially going to write 2 separate books: one for
people who are single or dating, and one for people who are already in a relationship.
But the feedback we received was an overwhelming number of suggestions that we
combine them both together, as there was so much essential information in each of them
for people at all stages of a relationship.
Hence, Conversation Chemistry is actually the length of two full books (298 pages) and is
packed full of essential communication secrets for you, no matter whether you are single
or in a long term relationship!
We've broken it up into three specialized sections:

Section 1: The principles of great communication with the opposite sex.
Section 2: Secrets to talking to and communicating with the opposite sex during dating.
Section 3: Communication inside a relationship
I realize that how to communicate with the opposite sex is a hotly debated topic (come
on, its like the Holy Grail of relationships and dating!) so, Ive broken down the books
contents for you in a bit more detail.
In Part I, some of the juiciest tidbits youll find include:
The principles of great communication. These principles differ between men and
women, find how and why! (pages 17 and 18)
How to adapt the way you talk to suit the woman youre talking to - this may
determine whether or not she develops a romantic interest in you.
How to communicate in such a way that builds unstoppable attraction (pages 19 - 25)
There is a definite sequence to the process of attracting a mate. You'll learn what this
process is, and how you can use it to your advantage in sparking attraction. (If you

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follow this process, you'll build up an incredible attraction with the women around
you!) (pages 26 - 30)
The 'magic' ingredients necessary to build potent rapport with another person. This is
truly powerful stuff you won't want to miss out on! (pages 36-52)
Part II: Secrets to Talking and Communicating with the Opposite Sex During Dating
Find out the key secret to become a charismatic, high-status man who has no doubt
that what you're saying is interesting to your audience
How to overcome approach anxiety.
You'll learn everything you need to know about how to start a conversation with a
woman.
The simple secret to making a woman feel addicted to talking to you
Discover the 2 crucial secrets to the art of confident conversation.
Discover how to take a conversation to a more intimate level - without awkwardness
or embarrassment!
How to make others laugh! This can work to your advantage! If you have the power
to make people laugh, its like a drug or, even more accurately, like magic. A man
who uses humor to create attraction is like a magician: other people cant understand
whats happening, or how it works; but work it does. And it creates attraction like you
wouldnt believe.
Find out exactly how to tease in such a way that you bond with men and have piles of
fun in the process!
How to spark attraction and sexual chemistry with women. You'll learn some
incredibly powerful secrets here.
Part III: Communication Inside a Relationship
The communication skills required for a great long-lasting relationship are different to
those that spark attraction and get you through the first month or two of dating. In this
exciting section, you'll discover vital communication skills that will bring the two of
you together and you'll find out common communication mistakes so that you don't
make them yourself!
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What to do if communication stops. Rarely go out for an evening alone together?


Feel like you've run out of things to say to each other? Find out how to revive your
communication and get to know your partner again.
Why you shouldn't feel uncomfortable about silence in your relationship
Discover the 3 traits of happy couples who know how to disagree in a healthy, nondestructive way.
How to argue properly and grow together as a result, rather than grow apart.
How to forgive. Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment
and retaliation. Denying forgiveness to your partner is just like poisoning your
relationship. Discover the path you need to follow to true forgiveness.
How to talk about your feelings. The difference between your emotions being a
good or a bad thing is in how you choose to express them. The rewards of increased
emotional self-awareness make it worth the effort. Emotional intelligence will reward
you with greater relationship, social and career success as well as greater levels of
happiness and life satisfaction.
Conversation Chemistry is designed to take you to the next level of communication,
whether youre out to meet someone new, enjoy a fun and flirtatious conversation, master
the art of flirting, or make a relationship into the best one you ever had.

You can access Conversation Chemistry at this web address:


https://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry/men/

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