CLASSROOM GUIDANCE

COMPETENCY: Interpersonal Relationships

OBJECTIVE: Recognize the effects of negative statements or slams
GRADE LEVEL: 4 or 5

GROUP SIZE: 22

TIME: 30-45min

MATERIALS NEEDED: Hammer, 21/2 nails, Blocks of wood 2x4 cut in 10-12
lengths.
PROCEDURE: Tell class today the topic is friendship and you need help with an
experiment. Explain it is their job to discover what the experiment has to do with
friendship. Demonstrate proper procedure by hammering a nail through a pile of at least
3 blocks stacked together. ( Will probably only penetrate the 1st two but you need three for
stability). Then ask for volunteers. Alternate boys and girls. Select about half of those
who want to help. The kids will love doing this and may begin offering ideas or at least
questioning the relationship between the activity and friendship. Now, tell the class it is
time to remove the nails. Ask for volunteers.
Probably by the time the last nail is removed, the wood will be pretty scarred.
The kids may have guessed thats how others feel when we treat them badly. Be sure to
cover these points in the discussion that follows:
1. Which was harderto hammer the nails or remove them? Why?
2. Even after the nails are removed, how is the wood affected?
3. What could the nails stand for? The scars in the wood?
4. Notice that some scars are deeper than others and even penetrate
Other pieces of wood. What does this mean? (Domino effect)
5. Can we always see the whole scar on the surface or just part of us?
6. What are some things we can learn about the importance of how we treat
others and the comments we make to others?
7. What about the wood? When the nail was being removeddid it resist or did
it let go of the nail? What does that teach us about forgiveness? About moving
on to heal ourselves?
You may want to conclude this lesson by reading the Friendship nail story (attached) or
writing on the board the old saying Sticks and Stones May Hurt My Bones but Words
Will Never Hurt Me. Cross it out and state that today we all know for sure this is simply
not true. Words do hurt or help and heal. The choice is ours.
Patricia Rankin
Daffron Elementary

FRIENDSHIP NAILS
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper and said mean and ugly
things to others. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every
time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back fence. The first
day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, a he
learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive
those nails into the fence.
Finally, the day came when the boy didnt lose his temper at all. He told his
father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for
each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young
boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said,
You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence
will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just
like this one. You can put a knife in man and draw it out. It wont matter
how many times you say Im sorry; the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels
indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an
ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to
us. Everyone can be your friend.
ADDITIONAL SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS: