5 Tips for Healing Emotional Pain

Emotional pain often exacts a greater toll on your quality of life than physical pain. The stress
and negative emotions associated with any trying event can even lead to physical pain and
disease.
In fact, emotional stress is linked to health problems including chronic inflammation, lowered
immune function, increased blood pressure, altered brain chemistry, increased tumor growth and
more.
Of course, emotional pain can be so severe that it interferes with your ability to enjoy life and, in
extreme cases, may even make you question whether your life is worth living.
As the featured article reported, Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies
for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries, recently
shared five tips for healing your emotional pain.
1. Let Go of Rejection
Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one
reason why it hurts so much. The feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong, and is
so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, recall memories and make decisions.
The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.
2. Avoid Ruminating
When you ruminate, or brood, over a past hurt, the memories you replay in your mind only
become increasingly distressing and cause more anger without providing any new insights. In
other words, while reflecting on a painful event can help you to reach an understanding or
closure about it, ruminating simply increases your stress levels, and can actually be addictive.
Ruminating on a stressful incident can also increase your levels of C-reactive protein, a marker
of inflammation in your body linked to cardiovascular disease.
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3. Turn Failure Into Something Positive

If you allow yourself to feel helpless after a failure, or blame it on your lack of ability or bad
luck, its likely to lower your self-esteem. Blaming a failure on specific factors within your
control, such as planning and execution, is likely to be less damaging, but even better is focusing
on ways you can improve and be better informed or prepared so you can succeed next time (and
try again, so there is a next time).
4. Make Sure Guilt Remains a Useful Emotion

Guilt can be beneficial in that it can stop you from doing something that may harm another
person (making it a strong "relationship protector"). But guilt that lingers or is excessive can
impair your ability to focus and enjoy life.
If you still feel guilty after apologizing for a wrongdoing, be sure you have expressed empathy
toward them and conveyed that you understand how your actions impacted them. This will likely
lead to authentic forgiveness and relief of your guilty feelings.
5. Use Self-Affirmations if You Have Low Self-Esteem
While positive affirmations are excellent tools for emotional health, if they fall outside the
boundaries of your beliefs, they may be ineffective. This may be the case for people with low
self-esteem, for whom self-affirmations may be more useful. Self-affirmations, such as I have a
great work ethic, can help to reinforce positive qualities you believe you have, as can making a
list of your best qualities.

My Most Highly Recommended Tool for Emotional Healing

Many, if not most, people carry emotional scars -- traumas that can adversely affect your health
and quality of life. Using techniques like energy psychology, you can correct the emotional
short-circuiting that contributes to your chronic emotional pain. My favorite technique for this is
the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which is the most comprehensive and most popular
version of energy psychology. EFT is a form of psychological acupressure based on the same
energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments for
over 5,000 years, but without the invasiveness of needles.
Instead, simple tapping with the fingertips is used to transfer kinetic energy onto specific
meridians on your head and chest while you think about your specific problem -- whether it is a
traumatic event, an addiction, pain, anxiety, etc. -- and voice positive affirmations.
This combination of tapping the energy meridians and voicing positive affirmation works to clear
the "short-circuit"the emotional blockfrom your body's bioenergy system, thus restoring
your mind and body's balance, which is essential for optimal health and the healing of physical
disease. The beauty about EFT is that it can reprogram your bodys reactions to the unavoidable
stressors of everyday life, thereby providing a more lasting effect.
More than any traditional or alternative method I have used or researched, EFT has the most
potential to literally work magic. Clinical trials have shown that EFT is able to rapidly reduce the
emotional impact of memories and incidents that trigger emotional distress. Once the distress is
reduced or removed, your body can often rebalance itself, and accelerate healing.
For a demonstration of how to perform EFT, please see the video below featuring EFT
practitioner Julie Schiffman. The first video is a general demonstration, which can be tailored to
just about any problem, and the second demonstrates how to tap for depression. While this
technique is particularly effective for relieving emotional or mental stress and anxiety, it can be
used for all manner of physical pain relief as well.

Total Video Length: 25:12

While the video above will easily teach you how to do EFT, it is VERY important to realize that
self-treatment for serious issues is NOT recommended. It can be dangerous because it will allow
you to falsely conclude that EFT does not work when nothing could be further from the truth.
For serious or complex issues, you need someone to guide you through the process as there is an
art to this process and it typically takes years of training to develop the skill to tap on deepseated, significant issues.

Emotional Health Takes Ongoing Care: 9 More Tips for

Well-Being
Just as eating healthy, exercising and getting a good nights sleep are habits that must be held to
in the long run to be effective, your emotional health requires ongoing care as well. And, just like
your physical body, your mind can only take so much stress before it breaks down. Yet many
neglect to tend to their emotional health with the same devotion they give to their physical wellbeing. This is a mistake, but one thats easily remedied with the following tips for emotional
nurturing.
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1. Be an Optimist
Looking on the bright side increases your ability to experience happiness in your day-to-day life
while helping you cope more effectively with stress.
2. Have Hope
Having hope allows you to see the light at the end of the tunnel, helping you push through even
dark, challenging times. Accomplishing goals, even small ones, can help you to build your level
of hope.
3. Accept Yourself
Self-deprecating remarks and thoughts will shroud your mind with negativity and foster
increased levels of stress. Seek out and embrace the positive traits of yourself and your life, and
avoid measuring your own worth by comparing yourself to those around you.
4. Stay Connected
Having loving and supportive relationships helps you feel connected and accepted, and promote
a more positive mood. Intimate relationships help meet your emotional needs, so make it a point
to reach out to others to develop and nurture these relationships in your life.
5. Express Gratitude

People who are thankful for what they have are better able to cope with stress, have more
positive emotions, and are better able to reach their goals. The best way to harness the positive
power of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal or list, where you actively write down exactly
what youre grateful for each day. Doing so has been linked to happier moods, greater optimism
and even better physical health.
6. Find Your Purpose and Meaning
When you have a purpose or goal that youre striving for, your life will take on a new meaning
that supports your mental well-being. If youre not sure what your purpose is, explore your
natural talents and interests to help find it, and also consider your role in intimate relationships
and ability to grow spiritually.
7. Master Your Environment
When you have mastery over your environment, youve learned how to best modify your unique
circumstances for the most emotional balance, which leads to feelings of pride and success.
Mastery entails using skills such as time management and prioritization along with believing in
your ability to handle whatever life throws your way.
8. Exercise Regularly
Exercise boosts levels of health-promoting neurochemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and
norepinephrine, which may help buffer some of the effects of stress and also relieve some
symptoms of depression. Rather than viewing exercise as a medical tool to lose weight, prevent
disease, and live longer all benefits that occur in the future try viewing exercise as a daily
tool to immediately enhance your frame of mind, reduce stress and feel happier.
9. Practice Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness means that youre actively paying attention to the moment youre in
right now. Rather than letting your mind wander, when youre mindful youre living in the
moment and letting distracting or negative thoughts pass through your mind without getting
caught up in their emotional implications. Mindfulness can help you reduce stress for increased
well-being as well as achieve undistracted focus.

Physical Health Also Supports Emotional Health and

Healing
Its a mistake to view your emotional health as a separate entity from your physical health, as the
two are intricately connected. Youll have an easier time bouncing back from emotional setbacks
when youre physically well, and healthy habits will also help keep your mood elevated naturally
in the midst of stress. Happy people tend to be healthy people, and vice versa, so in addition to
the tips above, the following lifestyle strategies can also help to support emotional wellness and
healing:

Eat well: What you eat directly impacts your mood and energy levels in both the
short and long term. Whereas eating right can prime your body and brain to be in
a focused, happy state, eating processed junk foods will leave you sluggish and
prone to chronic disease. My free nutrition plan is an excellent tool to help you
choose the best foods for both physical and emotional wellness.

Proper sleep: Sleep deprivation is linked to psychiatric disorders such as anxiety

and bipolar depression, while getting the right amount of sleep has been linked to
positive personality characteristics such as optimism and greater self-esteem, as
well as a greater ability to solve difficult problems.
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Animal-based omega-3 fats: Low concentrations of the omega-3 fats EPA and
DHA are known to increase your risk for mood swings and mood disorders. Those
suffering from depression have been found to have lower levels of omega-3 in
their blood, compared to non-depressed individuals. Krill oil is my preferred
source of omega-3 fats.

Regular sun exposure: This is essential for vitamin D production, low levels of
which are linked to depression. But even beyond vitamin D, regular safe sun
exposure is known to enhance mood and energy through the release of
endorphins.

Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which
is one reason why it hurts so much. The feeling of rejection toys with your innate
need to belong, and is so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think,
recall memories and make decisions. The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the
better off your mental health will be.

When you ruminate, or brood, over a past hurt, the memories you replay in your
mind only become increasingly distressing and cause more anger without
providing any new insights. In other words, while reflecting on a painful event can
help you to reach an understanding or closure about it, ruminating simply increases
your stress levels.

If you allow yourself to feel helpless after a failure, or blame it on your lack of ability
or bad luck, it's likely to lower your self-esteem. Blaming a failure on specific factors
within your control, such as planning and execution, is likely to be less damaging,
but even better is focusing on ways you can improve and be better informed so you
can succeed next time.

Guilt can be beneficial in that it can stop you from doing something that may harm
another person (making it a strong "relationship protector"). But guilt that lingers
can impair your ability to focus and enjoy life. If you still feel guilty after apologizing
for a wrongdoing, be sure you have expressed empathy toward them, which will
likely lead to forgiveness.

While positive affirmations are excellent tools for emotional health, if they fall
outside the boundaries of your beliefs, they may be ineffective. This may be the
case for people with low self-esteem, for whom self-affirmations may be more
useful. Self-affirmations, such as I have a great work ethic, can help to reinforce
positive qualities you believe you have.