PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

Parents, Families, Friends and Allies United with LGBTQ People

PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara

August Meeting
Sunday, August 16 @ 2:30-5:00
Kenilworth United Church of Christ
45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda, NY 14223
The Center for Psychosexual Health
will speak on transgender issues at this meeting.
However, private meetings with a PFLAG parent will still be available.

The sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is
handicapped accessible. New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to those
involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who
have recently learned that a loved one is gay.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to
help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be

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understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain
anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for
their own

A PROUD MONTH IN WASHINGTON

By Valerie Jarrett www.huffingtonpost.com July1, 2015

For too long, same-sex couples have fought tirelessly for their basic civil rights.
Loving, committed partners, along with millions of families and supporters, have
challenged the status quo, and demanded that all Americans receive equal treatment
under the law, and the opportunity for them and their families to live anywhere in this
great country, with the dignity, respect, and rights that all Americans deserve.
On Friday, June 26th, the Supreme Court honored their fight and handed down one
of the most historic rulings of our generation. The highest court in the land ruled that
same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marriage equality.
Friday's decision was momentous -- and as President Obama said in his remarks
following the decision, the Supreme Court has "reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled
to the equal protection of the law. That all people should be treated equally, regardless of
who they are or who they love."
After years of waiting, marriage equality is a reality. The ruling represents an
enormous victory for same-sex couples, their children, and their supporters, many of
whom have dedicated their lives to this struggle. The decision also provides a historic
close to this year's LGBT Pride Month -- an annual celebration of the courage of lesbian,
gay, bisexual and transgender communities. But central to celebrating Pride is
recognizing the work that is yet to be done. Not until every American -- whether gay,
straight, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender -- is treated equally under the law will we fully
realize our potential as a nation.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
As the president said on Friday, "The decision affirms what millions of Americans
already believe in their hearts: When all Americans are treated as equal we are all more
free." This is the Administration's guiding principle on issues of LGBT equality -- from the
repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," to ending the legal defense of Section 3 of the Defense
of Marriage Act (DOMA).
From restructuring benefits following the end of DOMA, to appointing a record
number of openly LGBT Americans to the Administration. And last July, of course, the
President signed an Executive Order that prohibits federal contractors from discriminating
on the basis of sexual

orientation or gender identity -- protecting up to 1.5 million Americans from

discrimination based on who they are or who they love.
Throughout Pride Month this June, the White House has welcomed leaders from
around the world to discuss issues facing the LGBT community. On June 1st, the
Occupational Safety and Health Administration kicked off the month by releasing its
Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers, upholding the principle that all
employees should have access to restrooms that correspond to their gender identity. On
June 12, the White House, National Security Council, State Department, and USAID
welcomed experts on policing and LGBT rights from Europe, Africa, and Latin America to
discuss community efforts to prevent bias-motivated violence, the role of law
enforcement, and other steps the government can take to protect LGBT individuals.
And on June 23rd, the White House hosted an LGBT substance abuse roundtable to
discuss best practices for recovery and treatment in the LGBT community. The next day,
the White House hosted a briefing on how the president's priorities around health care,
climate change, education, and international LGBT rights are impacting the LGBT
community. This briefing was in conjunction with a White House announcement that after
2015, federal employees' health insurers can no longer contain blanket exclusions for
transgender-inclusive health care such as hormone therapy.

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Also last week, the Office of Science and Technology Policy hosted a "We The
Geeks: Made With Pride" Google hangout to recognize the accomplishments of makers
and LGBT people in technology, and explore strategies for diversifying science and
technology fields.
To close out the month, the president hosted a Pride Month reception for LGBT leaders
and allies at the White House on Wednesday, June 24th.
2015 has also marked some important steps forward in our society for transgender
Americans, as more and more of our neighbors, family members and loved ones are
feeling the freedom and support they need to embrace their personal identities. More
businesses are standing up against anti-LGBT legislation in states and we've seen a real
shift towards broader public acceptance and understanding.
As our work continues in the months and years to come, we must remember to
keep pushing for things like a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act and a
society in which every child in America feels supported and safe to pursue their
happiness, regardless of

who they are or whom they love. We also must remember this period as proof of what is
possible when we work hard, work together, and pursue the highest ideals of our country.
President Obama said it best while honoring the 50th anniversary of the March on
Washington: "But we would dishonor those heroes as well to suggest that the work of
this nation is somehow complete.
The arc of the moral universe may bend towards justice, but it doesn't bend on its
own. To secure the gains this country has made requires constant vigilance, not
complacency."

WHEN GOING TO THE STORE WITH YOUR 10 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS A
POLITICAL ACT

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
By Dave_Blogger Huffington Post, June 28, 2015

When you have a well-documented, young, gay son, you get a lot of questions.
Everything from, "How does he know he's gay?" to "Are you sure he's gay?" to "No,
really, HOW ARE YOU SURE?".
And now that it's been almost four years since he "came out of the closet," (we
need a new phrase for kids who announce their orientation when they've never been in a
closet.
Nor ever knew there was a closet in which to get stuck in) after people ignore our
answers to those first three questions, they begin to ask questions about puberty,
everyone's
least favorite metamorphic bodily change. "Well, he's going to be in puberty soon,
sooooooo..." followed by a bunch of eyebrow wagging, hand waving and leering smiles,
anything to avoid
the term "butt sex," the only thing people who ask questions like this seem know/care
about when it comes to gay men.
Our kid is not having sex, of any kind, yet. Although he's as tall as a 14-year-old,
he's 10 and so far, puberty has involved emotional outbursts and stinking really bad after
sweating (and the seven hairs on his upper lip he calls his mustache -- Fredrick Nietzsche
he's not). It was the stinky part that got us into a situation the other day.
He and I have been playing tennis each day this summer and afterwards, we had
to take showers, regardless of his protests that he doesn't need one. He was getting out
of the shower one day when we realized we needed dog supplies and my wife, Amelia,
threw him the top shirt off the pile of folded, clean laundry on the table in front of her.
He pulled it on as we loaded the three boys into the Wagon Queen Family
Truckster and headed out.
As I drove to the store, Amelia kept the kids busy talking about how we were not
buying any hamsters, birds, fish, turtles or even feeder crickets as pets.

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Suddenly, she turned around and told me to look at his shirt. I moved the rearview
mirror down and saw, on his white shirt, six-inch tall, black letters that said, "Likes
Boys," just like one of his favorite Glee characters wore on the show. Uh-oh.
While we live in an island of blue in a very red state, our young boy wearing this
shirt is still a political act, a statement that many of our fellow citizens do not agree with.
After my wife started writing about our eldest's coming out, we received many
negative reactions, so we know firsthand not everyone is OK with gay people, especially
very young gay people.
And now our son was wearing a shirt that shouted to the world how his heart
leaned.

It is a shirt he has owned for years, but one we have very subtlety

controlled when he wore, because he should not have to deal with people's questions and
comments during a trip to the store. Would people be cool or major jerk faces?
We had to be prepared for the worst without letting him know what was going
through our minds. We have always felt there was nothing wrong with him, and we
weren't about to make him think that had changed now.
I've always called the pet store the poor man's zoo, and our kids love to watch all
the little animals run in wheels, or swim or hang out on plastic tree limbs and crap
everywhere, so we decided that I would take the kids to the animals and the wife would
get what we had come for. I'm 6'4'' and people tend to keep their stupid opinions to just
words and nothing physical when I stand by my kids.
If it was only that easy all the time.
Our 5-year-old immediately ran over to the rescue cats in their cages in one part
of the store, our 8-year-old wanted to watch the turtles be all turtlely, and our eldest was
going to see what the hamsters were up to.
Oh, to be three places at once. I was able to herd them together just in time for
our eldest to roam off and find his mom. I shoveled the other kids in his direction and we
got to shopping. We had been there for nearly five minutes and nothing horrible had
happened. Yet.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
And then, things did start to happen: smiles. People would look at his shirt as he
looked at dog toys and they smiled. The fuzzy-headed lady with the tennis ball-sized dog,
the couple loaded down with all the cat equipment you can legally buy at one time and
the lady who checked us out all smiled at him. At us.
Maybe they smiled because he looks older and they can accept a 14-year-old gay
boy more than a gay 10-year-old child.
Maybe they smiled because attitudes are changing and our society is starting to
accept that if people are born gay, there are gay babies and gay toddlers and gay little
kids.
Maybe they didn't even notice the shirt and they just smiled at my enthusiastic
young son.
As we make strides legally (thank you, Supreme Court!) and more people all over
the country see LGBT people as just people -- people at home owner association
meetings, taking up space on the bus, arguing with their partners in the store about
what kind of jelly to buy -- hopefully, there will be more smiles for all the gay kids out
there just wanting to live their lives, tell their parents their music sucks and that they
just don't understand.
Perhaps things are getting better and we're just getting to the age where our gay
boy is just another gay kid.
It would be nice to think of him as just another kid, but maybe that's asking too
much too soon. For now, I'll take the smiles.

CAITLYN JENNER RECEIVES ESPY AWARD FOR COURAGE

WIVB Digital Staff, July 16, 2015

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

Caitlyn Jenner accepted the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs on
Wednesday night while urging acceptance for others who are transgender.She received a
standing ovation from some of the sporting worlds biggest stars after her 10-minute
speech during the annual awards honoring the years top athletes and moments.
This transition has been harder on me than anything I can imagine, said Jenner,
who revealed she was in the process of becoming a woman in a televised interview with
Diane Sawyer in April on ABC.
From the stage, Jenner thanked Sawyer, whom she called a friend.
Noting her powerful celebrity platform, the 1976 Olympic decathlon champion and
current reality TV star vowed to do whatever I can to reshape the landscape of how
transgender people are viewed and treated.
Abby Wambach of the U.S. soccer team that won the Womens World Cup
presented the trophy to Jenner, whose voice broke as she thanked members of her
famous family, including stepdaughters Kim and Khloe Kardashian. Tears welled in the
eyes of Jenners younger daughter, Kylie, whose sister, Kendall, wiped a tear from her
eye.
I never wanted to hurt anyone else, most of all my family and my kids, said
Jenner, wiping her eye.
She admitted that until earlier this year she had never met another transgender
person.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

The 65-year-old told the audience about trans teenagers who are bullied, beaten up,
murdered or kill themselves. Jenner mentioned two people by name whose deaths
particularly touched her.
Trans people deserve something vital, they deserve your respect, she said. From
that respect comes a more compassionate community.
Jenner urged the crowd that included football, basketball, baseball and hockey superstars
to remember what they say and do is absorbed and observed by millions of people,
especially young people.
My plea for you tonight is one join me in making this one of your issues as well,
she said.
Many in the crowd watched intently as Jenner spoke with little reaction on their
faces.
If you want to call me names, make jokes and doubt my intentions, go ahead because
the reality is I can take it, she said. But for thousands of kids out there coming to terms
with the reality of who they are they shouldnt have to take it.
A video narrated by Mad Men actor Jon Hamm traced Jenners life from the time
when she was known as Bruce Jenner to her current transition. She mentioned she once
considered ending her own life with a gun she owned.
She was shown applying makeup, buttoning her blouse in her closet and fastening
the strap on her heeled shoes.
With her trembling hands clasped in front of her, Jenner joked with the audience about
her struggle to select the cream gown she wore
OK girls, I get it, she said, as the audience laughed. Youve got to get the shoes,
the hair, the makeup, it was exhausting. And the fashion police, please be kind on me.
Im new at this.
Jenner didnt walk the red carpet outside the Microsoft Theater in downtown Los
Angeles, and she didnt appear backstage to talk with reporters, as most of the previous

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Ashe award recipients have done. ESPN said Jenner wanted her onstage comments to
stand.
Reaction among Jenners sporting peers on the red carpet was mixed.
Little League baseball pitcher Mone Davis called Jenner brave.
Shes really brave to have the courage to get through a lot of those things, said
the 14-year-old who won best breakthrough athlete. I know a lot of people give her a
hard time about it, but just for her family to give her that support is amazing.
Former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield said, I just know thats Bruce Jenner
and Ill leave it at that.
RadarOnline.com reported Wednesday that Jenners representatives approached
ESPN suggesting the network give her the Ashe award in exchange for plugs on her
upcoming E! docuseries. ESPN and ABC are owned by Disney.
That rumor is completely false, ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz said. The Arthur
Ashe Courage Award and ABC interview were never connected.
Jenners publicist Alan Nierob called the report utterly false and had no further
comment.
Jenners selection to receive the Ashe award named for the late tennis player who
died in 1993 after contracting AIDS from a blood transfusion generated strong debate
online.
I met Arthur Ashe a few times. I know how important education was to him, Jenner
said. Learn as much as you can about another person to understand them as well as you
can.
Online critics said college basketball player Lauren Hill, who died of brain cancer in April,
was deserving of the Ashe honor.
But Hills mother, Lisa, attended the show and said her daughter would not have
welcomed the controversy and made no judgment of others.
Jenners series called I Am Cait debuts July 26.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

PFLAG BUFFALO-NIAGARA BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Phil Salemi, Jr., President

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Amy Fularz, Vice President

David Barrett, Director

Kristian Rickard, Vice President

Sharon Barrett, Director

Brian Carrier, Treasurer

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Michele Perry, Secretary

Ann Carrier, Director

Julie Christiano, Director

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Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the chapter newsletter with your permission.
Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O. Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207
PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara is a non-profit 501(c)3 and donations are tax-deductible.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara, is a non-profit, all volunteer, community-based

organization
not affiliated with any ethnic, religious, economic or political group.
Membership is open to all. PFLAG membership lists are kept confidential.
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