4 Strategies to Cope with Anger in A Healthy Way

Adapted from Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and
Transform Your Life www.drjudithorloff.com
Our world is in the midst of an emotional meltdown. People are restless, volatile, our
tempers about to blow. Recently, a riveting Newsweek cover story, Rage Goes Viral
described how from Tunisia to Egypt a wave of rage is rocking the world to create
revolutions. Then there are the talk radio ranters, coongressional incivility, and domestic
terrorists such as the Arizona shooter. Rage is also prevalent in our daily lives: Theres
road rage, office rage, supermarket rage, and even surfers rage. Why is rage so rampant?
What is the solution?
In my book, Emotional Freedom I explore the differences between good and bad
anger. Anger can be a healthy reaction to injustice such as cultures fighting to free
themselves from repressive regimes. Anger rallies people. It creates energy and
motivation to rebel against dysfunctional political or social systems. It also motivates
groups to go on strike say, for higher, well-deserved wages or to defend human rights. On
a personal level, anger can be good if its expressed in a focused, healthy way rather than
using it as a weapon to punish or hurt others.
Your Bodys Reaction To Anger
As a psychiatrist, I know that anger is intensely physical and can come from a primal
place. Lets say a colleague double-crosses you in a business deal. You feel angry. Your
amygdala (the emotional center in the brain) stimulates adrenaline. You get an energy rush
that rallies you to fight. Blood flows to your hands, making it easier to grasp a weapon.
Your heart pumps faster. You breathe harder. Pupils dilate. You sweat. In this
hyperadrenalized state, aggression mounts. You may raise your voice, point accusingly,
stare him down, grimace, flail your arms around, verbally intimidate, barge into his
personal space. Taken to an extreme, you could literally be driven to knock him out or beat
him up. In a pure survival-oriented sense, you want to dominate and retaliate to protect
yourself and prevent further exploitation. Anger is one of the hardest impulses to control
because of its evolutionary value in defending against danger.
What factors make us susceptible to anger?
One is an accumulation of built-up stresses. Thats why your temper can flare more easily
after a frustrating day. The second is letting anger and resentments smolder. When anger
becomes chronic, cortisol, the stress hormone, contributes to its slow burn. Remaining in
this condition makes you edgy, quick to snap. Research has proven that anger feeds on
itself. The effect is cumulative: each angry episode builds on the hormonal momentum of
the time before. For example, even the most devoted, loving mothers may be horrified
to find themselves screaming at their kids if they havent learned to constructively
diffuse a backlog of irritations. Therefore, the powerful lesson our biology teaches us
is the necessity of breaking the hostility cycle early on, and that brooding on the past
is hazardous to your well-being.
For optimal health, you must address your anger.
But the point isnt to keep blowing up when youre upset rather--its to develop strategies to
express anger that are body-friendly. Otherwise, youll be set up for illnesses such as
migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, or chronic pain, which can be exacerbated by tension.
Or youll keep jacking up your blood pressure and constricting your blood vessels, which
compromises flow to the heart. A Johns Hopkins study reports that young men who
habitually react to stress with anger are more likely than their calmer counterparts to have

an early heart attack, even without a family history of heart disease. Further, other studies
have shown that hostile couples who hurl insults and roll their eyes when arguing
physically heal more slowly than less antagonistic partners who have a were in this
together attitude.
Still, repressing anger isnt the answer either. Research also reveals that those who
keep silent during marital disputes have a greater chance of dying from heart disease
or suffering stress-related ailments than those who speak their minds.
Here are some strategies from Emotional Freedom to productively cope with anger
in daily life.

4 Tips To Diffuse Anger

1. When youre upset, pause, and slowly count to ten.
To offset the adrenaline surge of anger, train yourself not to lash back impulsively. Wait
before you speak. Take a few deep breaths and VERY slowly, silently, count to ten (or to
fifty if necessary). Use the lull of these moments to regroup before you decide what to do
so you dont say something you regret
2. Take a cooling-off period.
To further quiet your neurotransmitters, take an extended time-out, hours or even longer.
When youre steaming retreat to a calm setting to lower your stress level. Reduce external
stimulation. Dim the lights. Listen to soothing music. Meditate. Do some aerobic exercise
or yoga to expel anger from your system.
3. Dont address anger when youre rushed.
Make sure you have adequate time to identify whats made you angry. A Princeton study
found that even after theology students heard a lecture on the Good Samaritan, they still
didnt stop to help a distressed person on the street when they thought theyd be late for
their next class. Thus, allotting unhurried time to resolve the conflict lets you tap into your
most compassionate response.
4. Dont try to address your anger when youre tired or before sleep.
Since anger revs up your system, it can interfere with restful sleep and cause insomnia.
The mind grinds. Better to examine your anger earlier in the day so your adrenaline can
simmer down. Also being well rested makes you less prone to reacting with irritation,
allows you to stay balanced.
The goal with anger is to own the moment so this emotion doesnt own you. Then you can
mindfully respond rather than simply react. Youll have the lucidity to be solution oriented
and therefore empower how you relate to others.