Sie sind auf Seite 1von 203

SCRIPTED

A RIDICULOUS ANIMATED COMEDY


ABOUT REWRITING THE UNIVERSE

CREATED BY:
MICHAEL FLAMANK
2015
michaelflamank@gmail.com
(647) 461-0563

INT. HEAD OF PERSON READING THIS - RIGHT NOW


You exist in a deep unmovable darkness. The kind so absent
of light that merely looking at where your hands should be
trips you out. Do you even feel them?
POP!

CRACK!

Curiosity triggers your synapses to fire, surrounding you in


bursts of radiant colour and sound, increasing as you wonder
"is this really how the show bible is starting?"
The swirls of light evolve into galaxies gently pulsing
against the black. Deep and powerful it comes...
MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)
You find this introduction to be
strange, but not the ability to
read in the intonation of my
voice... which you find amusing.
Beat.
YOU
I didnt write this dialogue for
myself! This is silly!
No.

MICHAEL FLAMANK (V.O.)


This is "Scripted."

A voice with far less timbre surrounds you.


YOU
Couldnt have made that more vague.
MICHAEL FLAMANK (V.O.)
Its a show about taking control of
your reality. Are your thoughts
your own? What if they
arent? What if someone wrote them
for you?
YOU
This is all starting to sound very
"Jaden Smith." A reference Im not
even sure I get.
MICHAEL FLAMANK (V.O.)
Fair enough. But reread this page
and I think youll find we all have
the ability to go off script, once
we realize... its just a script.
FADE TO BLACK

Table of Contents
SERIES OVERVIEW

MAIN CHARACTERS

Mason.................................................. 7
Andre................................................. 13
Serena................................................ 21
Kylie................................................. 27
Milo.................................................. 33
SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

34

AESTHETICS AND SETTINGS

45

MARKETABILITY

54

Ideal Audience........................................ 55
The Three Laws of Cult Television..................... 55
ADDITIONAL SHOW ANALYSIS

56

Title Sequence........................................ 57
Classification of Roles............................... 57
Rules of the Scripted Universe........................ 58
Character Wardrobe.................................... 58
Restrictions on Character Wealth...................... 59
Parody of Products.................................... 61
Batting Order......................................... 61
Breakdown of American Heaven.......................... 62
Bertrand Russell Paradox.............................. 65

EPISODES

70

Pilot Summary......................................... 71
Season One Guide...................................... 73
Expanded Episode Notes................................ 76
EP.2

Experimentation........................... 77

EP.3

Princessification......................... 84

EP.4

Expedition................................ 93

EP.5

Reappropriation.......................... 107

EP.6

Flirtation............................... 118

EP.7

Repetition............................... 126

EP.8

Invasion................................. 134

EP.9

Notation................................. 142

EP.10 Corkification............................ 152


EP.11 Realization.............................. 159
EP.12 Redemption............................... 169
EP.13 Abomination.............................. 179
Direction of Future Seasons.......................... 187

SEASON ONE TIMELINE

191

BIOGRAPHICAL CHARACTER TIMELINE

195

Closing Thoughts from the Creator........................ 199

Series Overview

SCRIPTED
Written By Michael Flamank
Genre:
Animated, Adult Comedy
Logline:
A group of friends learn to write the screenplays for their very lives and the world around
them after discovering they are characters in a show. From there things generally could
go better.
Summary:
After a glitch in the video player reveals that the world around them is a fabricated
production, best friends (and foster brothers) Mason and Andre discover they have the
ability to write screenplays for their own universe. Scripted follows them, their friends
and ex-dick twisting hoes on their misguided adventures as they test the limits of their
powers, explore new genres and question the silliness of existence.
Rom-com? 24esque Action Thriller? Space Adventure? Nothings off the table and
nothing goes according to plan, because although everythings scripted, you can never
anticipate the butterfly effect of your actions. What happens when your rom-com
character is so flat youve unwittingly created a sociopath? Or your thrillers so
convoluted the bad guys get confused? Or two scripts are written for the same episode
and the universe mashes them! The group has no idea what theyre doing or how
theyre able to do it, but their bold curiosity to find out and self satisfy along the way is
all they need anyway.
Scripted thrives on depth. The characters are self aware and the show is even more
self aware. Meta humor is used extensively to make fun of motifs, tropes and often
unseen elements of scriptwriting. Each characters style of writing dictates the type of
episode that ensues and their compositions development drives the series.
Scripted, although a dark comedy, builds its plots around themes of existentialism (Is
there such a thing as free will? What is consciousness?) and divinity (What are the
ethics and consequences of having deistic-like control of your surroundings?). Its a
mixture of humor and high concept that tackles difficult subject matter with an intelligent
naivet that audiences can approach. Also just the right sprinkling of dick jokes (formal
wink face).
Influences:
30 Rock, Rick and Morty, Adventure Time, Archer, Community, Bobs Burgers, Futurama
Intended Animation Style:
Hand Drawn / Illustrator + After Effects
(Derivative of Rick and Morty, Bobs Burgers, Adventure Time, Bojack Horseman)

Main Characters

MASON ARLO
Bio:
Twenty-four year old white male living in the city with a
genuine curiosity of the unknown. Hed rather discover
than rest in ignorance and hed rather fix than let a problem
be. His scriptwriting skills are amateur at best and although
usually well intentioned he tends to overlook minor details
that spin each of his stories out of control (think of a cursed
monkeys paw).
Even though hes a co-main character with his ensemble,
hes occasionally seen as the main in the eyes of
secondary characters due to his skin colour and gender.
The tension it brings provides a platform to make fun of and
address racism and sexism in media (and culture), a
recurring theme in the series.
At the end of the day Mason would rather have everyone
be happy than satisfy his craving for answers. A trait that
often leads to him perpetuating his curiosity in an effort to
set things back to normal. Hes also easily traumatized by
the unfortunate consequences of his actions and leans to
the genius of his best friend and foster brother Andre for
support.
ARLO - Gaelic for between two hills; interpretable as
someone always curious whats beyond them
Character Traits:
Proactive fixer, curious, morally strong, optimist, hard
worker, medium emotional intelligence, clumsy, a tad selfrighteous, creatively hack (copies instead of creates), not
good with pressure, bad liar, traumatizes easily, a little slow
Motivations:
Answers, justice, pursuit of happiness, craving of new experience
Dominant Modes:
(1) Neutral - a touch of self-righteous, pokes fun, relaxed, dismissive of opinion
(2) Proud - hugely self-righteous, smug, dismissive of opinion
(3) Traumatized - frightened, nervous, desperately open to opinion, jumpy, restless
(4) Apprehensive Hero - insecure, nervous, unconvincing, pushing himself forward
Character Arc:
From must know everything to maybe leave some stones unturned.

Genetics:
-White
-Thin build, not very muscular
-Dirty blonde hair, usually ruffled as if he had just gotten out of
bed
-511 in height
-155lbs
Posture:
-Relaxed when smug about something self-righteous
-Rigid, on edge as soon as a situation even slightly intensifies
-Restless
Fashion:
-Childlike, has almost no sense of it, buys mostly zip-up
hoodies and t-shirts with logos, geeky pictures or amusing
quips
-Oblivious to how his state of dress effects other characters
perception of him
-Occasionally ball caps
-The type that would buy crocs because he notices
everyone else is
-Follows trends
-At night wears t-shirt plus pajama bottoms
-Wears boxers as underwear
(Accentuated with tones of blue)
Vernacular:
Dominantly proper english (beaten into him early), but speaks
with underlying urban tones and phrasings due to his history
living in the inner-city
Films he would write:
Heavily cliched (ex. the bad guy monologues until hes shot by someone we previously
thought was dead), 1-Dimensional Characters, assembling team montages, plays by
his own rules cop, the kind of movie studios wouldnt have to give notes for because it
appeals to the widest audience while challenging nobody
Films he would watch:
The Dark Knight, The Matrix, The Avengers, superhero and/or underdog movies,
escapism movies, Harry Potter, Fast and Furious, Avatar, anything that has been
overrated

Screenplays written by him often include:


Flat characters spouting cliched dialogue or dialogue borrowed from pop culture. Easily
monkey-paw-able elements (ex. writing a girl in thats a blonde bombshell and then
getting an actual bomb that has to be diffused). Overacting, characters emotions are
unbelievably hyperbolized (ex. policeman declaring Mason a hero for stopping a bank
robber then offering him the stolen money as a reward)
Treatment of Fellow Characters:
Andre: very brotherly, back and forth ribbings, leans on Andre for intellectual support
Serena: like a big sister, feels morally superior to, loses arguments when he tries to
play chess on Serenas checker board, leans on Serena for social/emotional support
Kylie: as an ex-girlfriend, with caution, lacks trust for, respects intelligence, leans on
Kylie for the blunt truth
Milo: as a bro (everyone loves Milo!), leans on Milo for emotional support
Landlord: like an embarrassing dad, avoids at all costs, leans on for his deus ex
machina solutions (like a reluctant teenager that needs out of trouble)
Vampire Policeman: like an angry father, frightened of but slowly grows accustomed
to having him around, guilty (for the whole wife murdering thing)
!

10

Detailed Backstory:
Born June 22nd 1992, Mason was given up at birth by his parents and entered foster
care at a relatively young age. For the first 11 years of his life he was essentially seen
as a tax break and a service payment by his foster parents who would abuse and blame
him for every non-related problem (ex. running out of cigarettes, . This was the
foundation for Masons innate desire to fix. Fixing meant less abuse.
At age 9 he met Serena Eden who sympathized with his timid nature and adopted the
role of big sister in his life (ex. sharing Dunkaroos on the playground, sticking up for
him when bullies came a-trolloping). Serena was his first real taste of family.
Growing up Mason would use tv and film as a means of escape (books were a rare form
of media in his home). Underdog and hero flicks were his favorite. Anything to do with
starting from the bottom (no Drake intended) and coming out on top was a euphoric
vicarious adventure. Serena, using her allowance (something Mason had never
fathomed), took him to his first cineplex where they watched Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone (right up his alley). To date the Harry Potter novels are the only
novels Mason has read that werent assigned to him. He still has an insufferable literary
taste in his mouth from his english teacher assigning The Joy Luck Club.
At age 11 his foster parents were granted permission to hold another child in their
residence and ended up with one Andre Lewis. They would bond over a love of
cinema and television, watching The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded on the day
Andre arrived (preparation for the release of the trilogys final film).
Andre brought a new flavor into Masons household: Double Chocolate with chunks of
Rebellion. He recognized the foster parents corrosive behavior that Masons
Stockholm Syndrome could not and decided to do something about it. Mainly accuse
them of attempted molestation, a move Mason could not have been less on board with.
However when child services came, it was Andres story he found himself backing.
(I know! When is this supposed to become a comedy!?)
For two years Mason and Andre lived with a decent and fair couple that would
occasionally have sketchy visitors drop by (the kind you avoid sitting next to on the bus).
Andre introduced Mason to his crew and Mason introduced Andre to Serena. They
would continue to bond over cinema and television right up until the SWAT team
obliterated the front door and dragged their parents away.
At age 14, following the raid, Mason and Andre were moved to a new foster home, run
by one of their old ones regular visitors. Which wouldnt have been so bad, but the
service payments eventually couldnt cover the cost of the increasingly tolerable crack
and the foster parents resorted to pawning Mason and Andres things (Lord of the Rings
Trilogy Dvds... no you dont understand, the extended editions!). With the child services
number now memorized, it wasnt long until they were on the move again.

11

At age 15 Mason and Andre entered highschool and their new foster home, a
combination that would contribute to multiple Mason anxiety attacks. Their new foster
parents were almost entirely absent, so Andre saw opportunities to strike popularity gold
with a few well attended house parties. Mason on the other hand was much more
worried about the home sustaining damage and would relegate himself to the stressful
duty of Party Watch-guard. The arrangement only lasted a few weeks. Then food
started to run scarce. Which was when Andre and Mason realized they hadnt seen
their foster parents in nearly a week and a half. When the hydro died and the last can
of Alphaghetti was cooked they finally conceded and used the neighbor's phone to call
child services.
At age 16 Mason and Andre were living with a hateful married couple whos outlook on
life bordered on masochistically negative. Although there was no abuse present, living
in the house was the equivalent of wallowing in Eyeores self-esteem. It was toxic and
they knew they needed out. But it meant Mason loosening his moral code (according to
Andre). After a persuasive argument in favor of the greater good, Mason was
reluctantly on board with terminating the foster arrangement (as long as accusations of
sexual offense were off the table). And with several of Serenas carefully placed hairs,
some bobby pins, panties, lip chap and what could only be described as an
indefensible amount of infidelity-based evidence, Mason and Andre were able to break
their foster parents marriage.
At age 17, Mason and Andre were moved into their final foster home, the one they
always deserved. The parents that ran it were Sandy and Kirsten Cohen- no Uncle Phil
and Aunt Vivian! No wait, Claire and Cliff Huxtable (before we knew about the Cosby
stuff). Lets just say they were somewhere between a surprise shoulder massage and a
cool glass of water at the end of a desert.
The family housed four other foster children Mason and Andres age (each more well
adjusted and personable then the last). Unfortunately when the first 16 years of your
life have been war, its hard to relate to anyone that didnt take that journey with you.
The process of re-humanization was slow, but ultimately sustained with optimism and
perseverance. The nurturing environment during his final two years of highschool
allowed Mason enough peace and composure to straighten out his grades and safely
graduate.
At age 18, summer after graduation, Mason propositioned Andre to find a place together
and was let down to learn Andre had other plans. He had saved some money and was
going to do some independent world traveling for a year or so. A bit of a shock
considering they had hardly spent a single day apart the past 7 years, but ultimately
understandable. Mason had noticed their relationship distancing without a common
enemy and perhaps time to work on themselves was ultimately a good thing.
Mason and Serena would move in together the same day Andre left town.

12

With Andre gone and full independence, Mason could finally get to the root of Mason.
Which happened to be bouncing from job to job aimlessly and optimistically curious
what the next gig might offer. Mason was content waiting for destiny to rear its friendly
head and point him in the right direction.
A year later Andre returned as if he never left (perhaps a tinge more jaded). As well he
and Mason swiftly reverted back to being bros, because lets face it, sometimes you just
want to be around someone youve known forever so you can dole out a proper ribbing!
Four years and an uncountable many jobs later, Mason found himself working as a
page in the citys news headquarters Tyrell Media. Following a viewing of The Fast
and The Furious 7, he decides to act a little bolder than hes used to (because lifes too
damn short... damn it!) and after several attempted workplace flirts is confronted by a
girl whos caught the show. And who has found it adorably amusing. She introduces
herself as Kylie Tyrell (daughter of Lucius Tyrell, owner of Tyrell Media Conglomerate).
Mason is originally attracted to her assertiveness. Hes never been with a girl before
that says lets get lunch, and then chooses the restaurant. How crazy is that!? They
begin to date, but when Mason introduces her to Serena and Andre, theyre put off by
everything about her. No worries. Some people just dont mesh well.
Several months later Mason begins to realize how controlling she is (ex. micro
managing his outfits, his career path, the percent of milk he should be pouring into his
cereal). The cherry on the sundae comes when he discovers shes been manipulating
her parents into giving her money for a university she doesnt go to. In protest he
breaks up with her before Christmas and doubles down by quitting the longest job hes
ever held.
On New Years with no one to kiss at midnight, Mason makes the resolution that 2016 is
the year hes going to be in charge of his reality.

13

ANDRE LEWIS
Bio:
Twenty four year old black male living in the city with a mind to
be reckoned with, that is... when its engaged. Hes brilliant
and has a controversial opinion on nearly everything to prove
it, but would rather use his brilliance to satisfy his own selfish
desires than solve the mysteries of the universe. Hes quick
witted, quick to plan and he damn well has the ego to match.
Compared to Mason he is quite skilled at picking up the task of
screenwriting, right down to the finer details. In fact the
element that usually causes his scripts to go awry is the
unpredictability of Masons innocent nature.
Andre is also quick to call out the inherent racism in a situation
and would be upset that Mason is listed first in these character
bios when it should be in first name alphabetical order since
they all share the position of protagonist.
It takes a lot to break Andre, but in the end its usually Masons
caring nature that brings him back to his reliably narcissistic
demeanor. They have each others backs through thick and
thin plots, even if they disagree on mostly everything.
LEWIS - Germanic for fame and war; interpretable as
someone whose wits you shouldnt mess with
Character Traits:
Reluctant fixer, quick-witted, genius, excellent improviser, will
do anything for the family he has, heavy reader, self-educates
to win arguments (not because hes curious), loose morals, narcissistic, pessimist,
apathetic, bottles emotions, secretly crushed over abandonment, racially sensitive,
over-thinker, low emotional intelligence, craves fandom, fear of intimacy, depressed
Motivations:
Being right, self-satisfaction, vigilante justice, familial preservation
Dominant Modes:
(1) Activated - perfect posture, fluid, sense of superiority (think Samuel L. Jackson in
monologue), focused
(2) Chill - apathetic, self-indulgent, relaxed, jokey
(3) Depressed - exactly what a lack of serotonin looks like, reclusive
Character Arc:
From selfish and apathetic to a sense of purpose.

14

Genetics:
- Black, big nose
- Medium build, not very muscular
- Black short dreads, very Chief Keef
- 510 in height
- 165lbs
Posture:
- Generally relaxed, slumps into couch when no ones around (excluding Milo)
- Proper and perfect when other characters are near (believes it demonstrates his
superiority to them)
Fashion:
- Fashion forward, buys things like pea-coats, stylish jackets, scarves, cardigans, button
ups, polos and horizontally striped ts
- Believes being better dressed than someone is a form of superiority
- Occasionally wears glasses without lenses for style purposes
- No jewelry or jesus pieces
- At night generally just wears underwear to bed
- Wears boxer briefs as underwear
(Accentuated with tones of green)
Vernacular:
Dominantly urban, slang and inner-city (though not to the extent of his crew). Although
Andre maintains a track record of objective superiority in most categories (posture,
fashion, intellect), theres nothing he enjoys more than dressing down someone with the
accent of someone who stereotypically shouldnt be going toe-to-toe with a doctorate
holder
Films he would write:
Overly complex (too many unnecessary elements to keep track of), lacking heart, many
twists, ambitious, the type of movie that could only get made by indie companies or
directors who have a carte blanche for the rest of their career
Films he would watch:
Inception, There Will Be Blood (really anything by Paul Thomas Anderson), No Country
for Old Men, Pulp Fiction, Godfather, The Matrix, anything nominated for an Academy
Award
Screenplays written by him often include:
Noticeably more detailed and nuanced, characters acting overly symbolic that go on
about nothing because its supposed to be a metaphor, Chinatown-esque: every set up
pays off before the end of episode (ex. bad guy mentions how much he loves gin and
tonic then is defeated by burial in pine tree air fresheners), due to his lower emotional
intelligence hes unable to predict when peoples feelings will screw with his script

15

Treatment of Fellow Characters:


Mason: brotherly, back and forth ribbings, always needs to prove Mason wrong (even if
it means playing the devils advocate), leans on Mason for emotional support (rarely, but
it does happen)
Serena: like a teammate, on the same wavelength when in chill mode, respects her
emotional intelligence and how she can translate it into artistic ability
Kylie: like a rival, hates how right she always is, respects but also fears her intellect
and if it will obsolete him
Milo: best bros! always same wavelength, can nearly telepathically understand each
other (think of Han Solo understanding Chewy), has Milos back for everything hes
unable to do because of his size, leans on him for emotional support
Landlord: like the weird guy at a party, doesnt really care to give him the time of day
Vampire Policeman: as an annoyance, generally doesnt take Vampire Policemans
threats as seriously as the rest of the group, could tear all of Vampire Policemans
schemes apart with his intellect anyway

16

Detailed Backstory:
Born March 9th, 1992, Andre was the beautiful baby boy of an excited and loving
mother and father. At least thats how he remembers it when a memory unrepresses
and comes flashing back. They were always happy werent they? He remembers them
always smiling. Then again maybe theyre not even real memories...
At age 4 Andres parents disappear without a trace on christmas eve. No goodbye, no
note, no blood relatives or friends. Andre is found when neighbors hear him crying
alone in the apartment. He is moved to a group home on christmas day and eventually
gets his first taste of foster care in the new year.
At age 5 Andre begins to adapt to his new abode, a foster home with three caucasian
children run by a bigoted couple looking for another service cheque and someone to do
the chores. Andres role.
For three years Andre is treated like garbage while his foster siblings reap the rewards
of being the proper race. He is blamed for everything, including things he could not
have even theoretically taken part in (ex. father losing his job due to the stress Andre
caused him). When asking about his real parents hes told theyre either in prison,
dead, gang banging, smoking crack, hunting lions or whatever your kind get up too.
Never the same answer and eventually Andre learns to stop asking. His living situation
crushes his self-esteem and self-respect. He becomes unsociable, distant and
depressed.
At age 8 Andre eats lunch by himself on the playground, a bread and mayonnaise
sandwich (his parents didnt have meat left for him after the white kids sandwiches were
made). He notices a group of kids whispering and pointing in his direction and avoids
eye contact. One of them approaches an asks hey what you eating? Andre stops
chewing and tells him, never looking up from his feet. Gross! the kid responds, yo
you guys here this? Mayonnaise an bread! Dudes in the middle of a survivor
challenge right now. Yo Henry give him your pudding cup man... why? Cause I said so,
your fat ass dont need it! Hey how come you eatin like the guy who lives in the
garbage bin outside my building? Andre sheepishly explains that hes black so he
deserves less. Hey look at me dude. Andre looks up. You see me? Andre
confirms. You see everybody in that crew? Andre nods. The crew is made up of an
assortment of ethnicities and minorities: black, asian, east-indian, samoan, middleeastern, etc. Everyone of them... equal. You see those girls over there? He points to
a trio of white girls playing jump rope. Equal. Whats your name? Andre responds.
Alright Andre youre gonna hang with us from now on, my names Darnell, you wanna
come play some basketball while theres still minutes on the clock? Andre smiles for
what he can remember is the first time in three years. Andre ends up being terrible at
basketball, but no one seems to care.
For the remainder of the school year and almost everyday of summer, Andre would
hang out with his crew and play basketball (never getting any better). His social skills
developed and he began to learn his true self worth and how backwards his home was.

17

For months a few months after meeting his crew Andre took the racism directed at him
with a grain of salt. Only ten more years to go and really how long is that? But soon
enough it started to get to him, he became angry and frustrated with their ignorance.
He would start to talk back and lash out at his foster parents calling them hicks and
unfit humans. The increase in what they deemed snarky remarks would land him
back to back groundings and curfew cuts. Christmas that year Andres siblings each got
a Razor scooter, he got coal. His ten year plan was going to need some amending.
As a birthday present to himself, he was going to get out of that foster home. In
January he would acquire his first public library card (boo yah! free books bitch!) and
use it to sign out literature on foster care and child services. He discovers that drug use
is a sure fire way to lose custody of a child and proceeded to take out books on
narcotics and their users. Bingo. Andre is presented with a picture whos caption
reads your average crackhead. The man looks exactly like the dude who lives in
Darnells buildings dumpster.
The day before his birthday he enlists the help of his crew, all of them are onboard
without even hearing what they are going to be asked of. Andre explains that their job
will be to lure the crackhead out of Darnells alley and distract him long enough for
Andre to search the garbage bin and acquire the crack. The plan goes off without a
hitch. Andres crew bang a basketball against the dumpster until the crackhead chased
them away and Andre, having read and seen so many pictures of it, was able to
immediately grab the crack and pipe.
That night he snuck into his foster parents room and pressed the apparatus against
their fingers then slipped a dimebag into their nightstand.
On his birthday Andre had reservations about going through with his plan. His foster
parents were shitty people, but they were also innocent. He couldnt do it, especially
after whatever they had planned for him on his special day. He throws out the crack
and the crack pipe and makes his way to the table for breakfast where his siblings are
all eating pancakes. When he arrives there are none left for him. Andre mentions its
his birthday. His foster mother responds with ha! Okay well maybe your next one you
wont wake up on island time. Tell you what, if you want theres and extra Weetabix in
the cupboard... ha! Just kidding! Andre retrieves the crack and crack paraphernalia
from the garbage bin.
After coming home from school he carefully places the pipe in a living room ashtray
(visible from the front door). Next he calls the police and child services explaining that
his parents were smoking something and now theyre both on the floor and
unresponsive. In less than a hour his foster parents were in handcuffs and child
services was taking him away. Aw sorry kid, I know this probably isnt how you wanted
your birthday to go down, said a sympathetic police officer (his uniform reads
McCluskey). He had no idea how wrong he was.

18

At age 9 Andre is moved into his new foster home run by a couple Christian
fundamentalists who considerd everything Andre did a sin. Andre wasnt about to go
through another bad fit so he went to the library to do some more research, this time on
religion. He started leaving Harry Potter books around the house and eventually was
able to convince them to get rid of him by claiming to be the anti-christ.
His next foster home seemed alright at first. Nice parents. Nice space. Good food.
Video games. This was more like it. He even had a foster sister who reminded him of
himself before he came out of his shell. Which actually was kind of weird because she
didnt have a house full of racists always getting on her case. Never-the-less Andre
decided to give her the same treatment his crew gave him and welcomed her as his
friend with open arms. She didnt like being touched, but eventually came around to
being a little more social.
When she finally felt comfortable enough she asked Andre if she could tell him
something. Andre obliged and she confided that their foster parents had been doing
strange things during the night. She described some of the acts and Andre, not
knowing if it was normal or not, went to the library to do his research. There he
discovered that what his foster parents were up to wasnt only not right, it was illegal.
They were molesting his foster sister.
Andre made the phone call to child services on her behalf and within the day they were
taken to a group home and eventually their next foster care.
At age 10 Andre was living with a pair of alcoholics and gambling addicts (just one bad
hand after another!). He would have tried to get himself out, but when an unpaid bookie
slammed down the front door and broke his foster fathers kneecaps in the middle of the
living room he didnt have to. The police deemed the environment too dangerous for
him to be in.
At age 11 Andre moved in with his soon to be best friend Mason and their Joe
Jackson inspired foster parents. He was ready for this. Mason and him would bond
over a love of movies and a mutual disdain for the homes legal guardians. He noticed
how their abuse effected Mason and decided to pull the plug on the home.
Andre called child services and as they were on their way informed Mason of what he
had to do to when they arrived: claim attempted molestation. Mason claimed he
couldnt do it, he was too far gone. But Andre could feel that same yearning for escape
he once had and figured if anything Mason would at the very least keep quiet about the
truth. He was right and the two of them would be transferred to a new home together.
For two years Mason and Andre lived with a decent and fair couple that would
occasionally have sketchy visitors drop by (the kind you avoid sitting next to on the bus).
Andre introduced Mason to his crew and Mason introduced Andre to Serena. They
would continue to bond over cinema and television right up until the SWAT team
obliterated the front door and dragged their parents away.

19

At age 14, following the raid, Andre and Mason were moved to a new foster home, run
by one of their old ones regular visitors. Which wouldnt have been so bad, but the
service payments eventually couldnt cover the cost of the increasingly tolerable crack
and the foster parents resorted to pawning Andre and Masons things (Lord of the Rings
Trilogy Dvds... no you dont understand, the extended editions!). With the child services
number now memorized, it wasnt long until they were on the move again.
At age 15 Andre and Mason entered highschool and their fresh foster home. Their new
foster parents were almost entirely absent, so Andre saw opportunities to strike
popularity gold with a few well attended house parties. The arrangement only lasted a
few weeks. Then food started to run scarce. Which was when Andre and Mason
realized they hadnt seen their foster parents in nearly a week and a half. When the
hydro died and the last can of Alphaghetti was cooked they finally conceded and used
the neighbor's phone to call child services.
At age 16 Andre and Mason were living with a hateful married couple whos outlook on
life bordered on masochistically negative. Although there was no abuse present, living
in the house was the equivalent of wallowing in Eyeores self-esteem. It was toxic and
they knew they needed out. But this time Mason had to be on board. So after a
persuasive argument in favor of the greater good, Mason agreed to the termination of
the foster arrangement (as long as accusations of sexual offense were off the table).
And with several of Serenas carefully placed hairs, some bobby pins, panties, lip chap
and what could only be described as an indefensible amount of infidelity-based
evidence, Andre and Mason were able to break their foster parents marriage.
At age 17, Andre and Mason were moved into their final foster home, the one they
always deserved. The parents that ran it were Sandy and Kirsten Cohen- no Uncle Phil
and Aunt Vivian! No wait, Claire and Cliff Huxtable (before we knew about the Cosby
stuff). Lets just say they were somewhere between a surprise shoulder massage and a
cool glass of water at the end of a desert.
The family housed four other foster children Andre and Masons age (each more well
adjusted and personable then the last). Unfortunately when the past 11 years of your
life have been war, its hard to relate to anyone that didnt take that journey with you.
As Mason slowly re-humanized, Andre kept stoic. It was any day now he would find out
what was wrong with the foster family. There was always something wrong! He would
bury himself in books, keeping an eye on his bedroom door. Any day now...
After a year and a half Andre realized that day wasnt coming. He should have felt
relieved. Instead he was depressed and couldnt put a finger on why.
Andre graduated with incredible grades across the board despite having never handed
in his homework. Great genes, remarked a teacher. And with that Andre knew what
he had to do end his depression. Find his real parents and why they decided to
abandon him. Right?! Sounds like the perfect plan! How could this go wrong!

20

Eventually Andre tracked down the first group home he had lived in, before the racists.
But when he got there the building, along with his record were smoldering, having just
been through a fire. Andre began to giggle, appearing like a maniac to the stranded
occupants who had just lost their home. Haha cmon really!? Ha ha ha! I was waiting
for this! Ha! A whole year and a half! Haha haaaaa... He would keep this news from
Mason. He just needed to get out. To leave it all behind for a bit. Maybe that was the
key. Finding himself abroad.
It pained Andre to turn down Mason when he propositioned they move in together. He
would honestly have been totally game, but sometimes you just have to do you.
Andre would leave town the same day Mason and Serena moved in together.
When Andre started to travel the world he cycled through Italy, India and Bali, hoping for
his own Eat, Pray, Love epiphany. With each failure to feel something he began to feel
more empty inside. Perhaps what he needed to do was something selfless. So for the
next little bit he would volunteer his time at orphanages in Fiji, Laos and Ghana. But
still nothing. Maybe if the work he was doing was truly altruistic he would have felt
something. So feeling colder than he ever had before, he started to get reckless.
Andre would often go out of his way to put himself in danger just to see if he could get
out of it. Whether it be a slum in Cape Town, exploring the poorest parts of Kabul or
buying drugs in Caracas, his disregard for his own safety brought him to the edge so he
could laugh over the chasm facing him. When he realized how ridiculous he was
starting to be, he booked a ticket home.
Almost a year after leaving, Andre arrives back at Ambi city. Waiting to pick him up at
the airport are Serena and Mason. On the ride back into town they offer him their couch
to sleep on and proposition maybe getting a three bedroom apartment. Andre declines
citing his newfound love for independence (really he just feels weird being close to other
people who might feel a stronger connection to him then he does to them).
Within a day Andre had found and moved into a bachelor apartment way out of his price
range. Mason suggests maybe he step down his quality of living and save to go to like
college or something. Andre has his epiphany and agrees with a smirk... in that he
should go to college. Well maybe not technically. With school season coming up Andre
starts his own essay writing business. Turns out kids are willing to pay exorbitant fees
for an A on an assignment just to keep their parents happy.
Two years later Andres earned enough money to furnish his apartment and fill every
spot on his shelf with a book. Hmmm, what now? While taking a walk he passes a pet
store that catches his attention. He strolls in and notices an open container marked
chinchillas. He drops his hand in and one meekly hops up to it, probably less than a
week old. Hey whats your name? Andre presses the shuffle button on his iphone and
an artist pops up Milo. The chinchilla nuzzles against his knuckle. Sounds too
good... Andre would leave the shop with Milo, the first creature he felt a connection to
in a very long while. Plus none of the righteousness that he usually got from Mason.

21

SERENA EDEN
Bio:
A twenty six year old white girl rooming the same
apartment as Mason. Shes bubbly, easy going and
completely willing to go along with whatever script is
in the works. Shes a talented artist/model but lacks
any real ambition, usually choosing to get high and
nap instead of work. Also the only character that
doesnt care for the power of universe control
(mostly due to it sounding like a lot of responsibility).
Her and Mason have been friends since childhood
and enjoy a similar back and forth ribbing as Mason
does with Andre. In fact Serena will often side with
Andre just to playfully spite Mason.
Her contribution to the group is her often zen and
simple solutions that are sometimes overlooked by
the panicked Mason and the overthinking Andre and
Kylie. For example when faced with an unstoppable
serial killer, Mason, Andre and Kylie would try to
outsmart them, whereas Serena would try and
teach them yoga due to the murderer probably not
feeling one with the universe.
EDEN - Hebrew for pleasure and delight;
interpretable as someone who cherishes
comfort and peace
Character Traits:
Reluctant fixer, chill, high emotional intelligence,
extremely creative, a little nerdy pothead, loose
morals, procrastination, bored quick, zero ambition
Motivations:
Self-satisfaction, familial preservation
Dominant Modes:
(1) Childlike Wonder - think Troy from Community, openminded and excited
(2) Chill - that just ripped the bong peacefulness, apathetic, jokey, artistic
(3) Denial - bottled emotional distress, defensive, immature
Character Arc:
Always goes with the flow to experimenting with power.

22

Genetics:
- White
- Thin build, not very muscular
- Brunette hair, usually straight and down, in a bun when appearing professional (such
as when she is Alien-Human Ambassador for President Alien)
- 510 in height
- 140lbs
Posture:
- Always relaxed
- Fluid movements
Fashion:
- No real sense, usually goes for whatever she finds cute or whatever her photo shoots
let her go home with, sundresses, blouses, bright, vibrant artistic pieces
- Bit of a tom boy, will lounge in hoodies and plaid boyfriend shirts, t-shirts with geeky or
ironic themes (Jaws and Star Wars)
- Occasionally wears glasses when trying to look professional
- Occasionally ball caps
- At night wears matching top and bottom pajamas, occasionally onesies
(Accentuated with tones of yellow)
Vernacular:
Dominantly slangy surfer-ish when stoned and proper-fascinated when sober
Films she would write:
Stoner comedies, movies with thinly veiled plots really only there to act as a conduit for
absurdist humor
Films she would watch:
Superbad (anything by Judd Apatow), Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Super
Troopers, The Big Lebowski, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Birdman, Grand Budapest Hotel (anything by Wes
Anderson)
Screenplays written by her often include:
During the first season her episodes are written through Andre and as such are subject
to the Andre brush of detail. So mostly masterfully orchestrated stoner ideas (ex. a
massive weed smoke storm encompasses their city like sandstorms do in the MiddleEast). In the second season will discover she has a talent for writing incredible heartfelt
and touching scripts.

23

Treatment of Fellow Characters:


Mason: like a little brother, pokes fun, playfully will mess with him, can rely on Mason
as a distraction when the world starts moving around her and shes too scared to move
with it (leans on him for emotional support)
Andre: as a team mate, on the same wavelength when in chill mode, will playfully
tease Mason together, respects his intellect and admires his ability to complete projects
(ex. finish books) when she can barely complete her own artistic undertakings
Kylie: like the overachiever that screws up the bell curve for everyone else, dismissive
of Kylies logic and/or plans, only relatable when each are beaten and broken, leans on
Kylie for nothing (not even when she needs to!)
Milo: as a bro (everyone loves Milo!), leans on Milo for emotional support
Landlord: like the guy who worked up the nerve to ask her to prom but she had to turn
him down and it was awkward but now every time they see each other its only her that
feels the awkwardness... you know?
Vampire Policeman: oblivious to Vampire Policemans actions, usually distracted
when he is doing something evil or wants attention

24

Detailed Back Story:


Born September 26th, 1990, Serena was the beautiful baby girl and only child of
Maxwell Eden (owner of a profitable small business selling refrigerators) and Penelope
Eden (an acclaimed neuro-surgeon at Ambi General Hospital).
During her early years Serena spent most of her time with her father at the shop playing
hide and go seek in the refrigerators. Her mother was often hung up with long hours in
surgery so her and Serena would see each other more sporadically (but not in an
unhealthy way!). Their family was fairly well off, in that they owned a boat, a cabin on
the lake and had guacamole pretty frequently.
At age 5 Serena entered Kindergarten and it was discovered that she had quite the
knack for finger painting. Her only issue seemed to be that she never ended up
finishing any of her pieces. A trend that would continue into adulthood. In fact it was
common when dealing with her just to wait her out until she got bored (ex. wont lie
down for nap and starts protesting. Five minutes later, tired of protesting, takes nap).
At age 8 her parents introduced her to Star Wars Episodes 4-6 in preparation for
Episode 1 coming out that year and she was instantly enamored. Every little geeky
aspect was pretty much the coolest thing ever! Her deeply creative side endorsed the
science-fiction and fantasy genres seeing the inventors of each monster and robot as
brilliant artists in their own right. Thus commenced her nerd-dom.
Serena was the kind of kid who would get picked on only once per bully. When made
fun of for having a Chewbacca backpack or an X-men lunchbox, she simply shrugged
off the jeer with more of a hey your lose buddy, this shit it awesome attitude. The
assailer usually moved on to someone more susceptible to retaliation.
For halloweens she would go as things like Aragorn from Lord of the Rings or Bill
Murray from Ghost Busters. Her mantra was basically screw whatever you think, imma
do me.
Growing up her parents injected character into her emotional intelligence. Each
birthday they would knock Serenas gift out of the park (tiny leather The Matrix jacket,
art supplies so she could paper mache her own Darth Vadar mask) and taught her to do
the same for others. They also taught her to pick up when others are down and
encouraged her to help.
At age 11 she met Mason. He appeared to be one of the most down and out 9 year
olds on the playground and true to form Serena felt the need to make his day better. He
was quite timid at first, probably due to the bullying, but after a little while and some
superhero discussion he opened right up. He had never seen a movie in theaters
before and Serena decided she was going to change that. So later that week she took
him to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and lent him the first four books of
the series. From then on they would bond over movie nights and dorky discussions
theorizing what would happen next in a certain series.

25

At age 13 Serena met Andre and a trio was formed. She knew the two of them were
having a rough time with their foster placements so whenever she could she would have
them over for Settlers of Catan and movies. They would all sneak in to The Matrix
Revolutions together. It was awesome.
At age 14 Serena entered highschool and the pressure to decide what she wanted to be
when she grew up began to bubble. Everyones so damn young she thought. Instead
of studying and school she would begin and half-finish random art projects.
At age 16 she met Julia Sakato, a fellow artist that would introduce her to the magic of
marijuana. They would bond over art and joints and more joints, smoking the day away.
One time Serenas mom came home early from surgery and caught her and Julia
getting high in the bathroom. Without saying a word she took a hit of the spliff,
commended the quality of herb and then went to bed claiming shed had a stressful day.
In the morning Serena left a joint rolled for her on the table before she went to school.
During her Senior Year of highschool Serena would start dating a guy named Derek
(aka D-Rock), a white wanna-be rapper with a heart of gold. There was nothing
remotely urban about him, his raps were generally pretty weak and he didnt seem to
have a whole lot of goals or game plans on how to get to the top besides doin his thing
and smoking mary. But he was sweet and Serena had a soft spot for guys who didnt
give a crap what people thought and just wanted to do what they wanted to do.
Serena would go on to barely graduate highschool, still with no idea what she wanted to
do with her life. However around the time all of her friends started earning scholarships
and getting accepted into universities she started finishing her projects, paintings and
doodads. Of course this subsided shortly after, but the surge in productivity was
noticeable. She would continue to live at home, her easy going parents having
complete faith in her ability to eventually pull her life together.
After highschool she would divide her time between hanging out with Mason and Andre
and getting high with Julia, her boyfriend Derek and her other pothead friends.
At age 21 Serena and Mason decided to go in together on an apartment. There was
some initial worry about how they would pay for it month to month as Mason had a
measly wage and Serena didnt have a job, but Serena got high and felt fairly confident
everything would work out. Her boyfriend D-Rock would chime in with a babe youre so
beautiful, you should just be a model.
Later that week she was picked up by a modeling agency, netting her enough cash flow
to still sit around all day and smoke weed, but in her own place instead of her parents
garage.
At almost age 22 after having dated for 4ish years, D-Rock breaks up with Serena. The
cause is a mystery to her as he certainly wasnt blowing up or had anything else going
for him. Unbeknownst to her, Andre had enabled the decision for her own good.

26

As Serena notices friends of hers completing their degrees, more of her half finished
projects start to come together. Then slowly she slides back into procrastinationland.
At age 22 Serena meets a charming, handsome and talented entrepreneur at a comic
con and bond over how great Iron Man 3 was (theyre the only ones so passionate
about it) and how cool it was to see Tony Stark get around without the suit. His name
was Atlas Cruise and was everything you could ever want in a partner. Witty, geeky,
heartfelt, played and instrument, doesnt dry out the turkey when he cooks it, you name
it.
They would date for a couple perfect months before Serena was dumped again. He
claimed it was because he didnt see them progressing anywhere, or more so her
progressing anywhere. He needed someone with real ambition around to inspire him.
More and more of Serenas pothead friends started to get real jobs and she would finish
more paintings. Phssh everyones so damn young she thought. Ridiculous.
At age 24 after having hardly seen her friend the past few months, her longtime pot
amigo Julia announced she was getting married. At the bachelorette Serena offered her
an enormous spliff and was glared at by the bridal party. Ohhhhh hey thanks, I actually
dont do that anymore, said Julia. She finished more paintings.
When the day of the wedding came, Serena stayed home and got high. She didnt
complete any art that day. She was still so damn young, she had plenty of time.

27

KYLIE TYRELL
Bio:
Twenty two year old black girl living in the city as well as
Masons ex-girlfriend. She can be overbearing and
controlling at times but generally has good intentions for
her actions. She just seems to be terrible at
communicating them. Which is unfortunate because
she usually ends up being right and reaching her
conclusions before Andre (which he hates).
Her pretentiousness was passed down to her from her
rich parents, but after being cut off (for outpretentiousing them) shes had to resort to working in a
coffee shop in a location incredibly inconvenient for the
other characters. A fact/recurring joke that is brought up
as the location becomes a staple meeting location for
their writers room.
Because of her drop in status shes also discovered
who her true friends are. No one. Turns out the upper
class doesnt like penny-pinchers cramping their style.
Kylies struggle is that she needs the group in her life
just as much as they need her organization and blunt
truths. She just needs to work on that abrasive attitude.
TYRELL - Scandinavian for controller and god of
battle; interpretable as someone manipulative and
undefeatable in conflict
Character Traits:
Proactive fixer, genius, hard worker, perfectionist,
straight edge, loose morals, blunt, hates cliches,
controlling, entitled, manipulative, pathological, low
social intelligence, makes inappropriate jokes, not very pop-cultured,
Motivations:
Status/power, being right, self-satisfaction, familial preservation
Dominant Modes:
(1) Queen Bee - confident, powerful, self-righteous, dismissive of opinion, selfish
(2) Manipulator - relaxed, narrow-eyed, scheming, in-genuine, faux-compassionate
(3) Insecure/Lonely - broken, self-loathing, reclusive
Character Arc:
Pretentious and overbearing to more personable and empathetic.

28

Genetics:
- Black
- Thin build, not very muscular
- Black hair, short and naturally curly
- 59 in height
- 130lbs
Posture:
- Always tense, uptight
- Chin always up for superiority, talks to peoples foreheads
Fashion:
- Very fashion forward, would buy extravagant pieces when living off her parents dime,
the kind of clothes a girl might buy at the store Express.
- Since losing her parents income shes resorted to wearing cheaper and cheaper
versions of what she used to wear, pieces from H&M, and will be upset when she
sees plebeians wearing the same outfit as her
- Grumpier when she has to wear her Coffeebucks work uniform
- Casual-wear is not a part of her vocabulary
- Occasionally oversized sunglasses
- At night wears silk robes to bed
- Underwear labeled by time and day
(Accentuated with tones of purple)
Vernacular:
Dominantly proper english (history of private schooling and being kept away from the
inner-city)
Films she would write:
Anything self-aggrandizing, propaganda pieces, biased documentary (ex. Blackfish)
Films she would watch:
Juno, Erin Brockovich (anything with a strong female lead), Million Dollar Baby, Alien,
Whip it, Groundhog Day (loves the idea of doing a day over and over again until you
can get it perfect)
Screenplays written by her often include:
Complicated concepts designed to either manipulate someone into doing something or
fix a selfish need of hers (ex. fumigating the entire city because she saw a cockroach
outside), very detailed and well thought out but no heart

29

Treatment of Fellow Characters:


Mason: as an ex-boyfriend / guy who totally never deserved her in the first place (is
what she tells herself), respects his curiosity for answers and innocent nature, acts
tough towards him because shes still bitter about the breakup
Andre: as competition, loves to beat him to an answer just so he has to agree with her,
secretly respects his intellect
Serena: the class clown, at first a nuisance but eventually into a Troy & Abed or Turk &
J.D. level friendship, respects Serenas emotional intelligence
Milo: as a bro (everyone loves Milo!), leans on Milo for emotional support
Landlord: a good-natured dude doing the best he can, ironically Kylie is the one
character that will give Landlord the time of day
Vampire Policeman: as a peer, mutual respect for the manipulation skill each other
has, Policeman can see through her and tell shes the outcast of the group

30

Detailed Back Story:


Born March 9th, 1994, Kylie was the beautiful baby girl and only child of Lucius Tyrell
(CEO of Tyrell Media Conglomerate) and Beretta Tyrell (a trophy wife socialite).
For the first ten years of her life Kylie was mostly raised by her nanny, housekeeper and
only friend Fatima. Her father worked 80 hour work weeks and even during his off day
would usually be across the world in some foreign land. To cope her mother would
drink with other rich housewives from around the city or pop percocets until she passed
out somewhere around their enormous house. They were the types of parents who
threw money at a problem. Kylie was more of a financial obligation then a daughter and
it couldnt have been more evident then every birthday when she would get the same
thing, a cheque inside an unsigned Hallmark card.
Kylie was entered into the most prestigious Kindergarten through Grade 9 private
school in all of Ambi City at the age of 5. She quickly learned how much she enjoyed
learning and hated her peers. All anyone cared about was how much more expensive
their tiny child cardigan was or whose parents held the greater net-worth. It disgusted
her. How could they not be fascinated in the education being provided? It was top
notch!
Shortly after her tenth birthday Kylie decided she wanted to be a teacher when she
grew up. She confided this in Fatima who was quite supportive of this early endeavor.
However when she told her mother, Beretta could not have been less impressed.
According to her no Tyrell would stoop to the status of a teacher on her watch. When
Kylie mentioned that Fatima had thought it was a good idea and it wasnt more than a
day that went by before that comment got her fired.
Fatima was replaced with a new housekeeper, Rosa, who spoke almost no english.
However Kylie was determined to have a friend again so through library books and the
web she began to teach herself Spanish. When she believed it was sufficient, she
asked the new housekeeper if being a teacher was a good idea. Rosa would tell her to
listen to her mother.
At age 12 Kylie got her first taste of power when she accidentally wore the same outfit
as her schools Queen Bee and was confused for her. She liked it. It was short lived,
but the respect she felt as the other girl apologized for wearing a pencil skirt was
addictive. She wanted more of it. The actual Queen Bee eventually found out about
Kylies outfit and poured yogurt on it, forcing her to change.
Kylie would start to research books on power and sociology. She wanted to learn
everything there was to know about being able to control people. All she wanted to do
was prove to herself that she could be Queen Bee. She didnt want to stay, just hold
the title for a tiny bit.
At age 13 Kylie had learned enough to turn the school against the Queen Bee through
manipulative tactics and elaborate set ups that would rival Mean Girls Lindsey Lohan.

31

She would hold that rank until the next year when she entered highschool and became
the little fish in the big pond. It would take some serious planning to rule the current
school from a position three grades below the senior.
Kylie started to study the types of things that would win her favor and popularity
including biographies of powerful people, fashion magazines and political text. She had
Lucius and Beretta bankroll her spending and in no time she had caught the eye of the
schools Queen Bee with her before market Gucci jeggings.
Kylie was taken under the wing of the Queen Bee and within a year had figured out
how to flip the script and end up on top.
At age 16 Kylie was assigned The Joy Luck Club in her Grade 10 English class, a
book about the relationships between several different Chinese mothers and daughters.
Nearly all resulted in a cathartic rejuvenated connection between the two. The kind of
bonding Kylie could only dream about with her mother. After finishing the book she tried
asking her mother if she would like to go shopping sometime instead of just handing her
money. Beretta claimed she would be busy that afternoon and popped a handful of
percoset.
At age 17 Kylie was the most popular girl in her school and surrounded by followers.
She had never been so lonely.
When graduation came about Kylie was voted valedictorian. Perhaps once her parents
saw how powerful she had become and how true to the Tyrell status she was, they
would finally appreciate her. That day her father missed her speech for a meeting and
her mother was passed out on a pool deck with a knocked over pina colada piled in her
lap.
After highschool Kylie felt like she was at a point where she didnt need schooling to
acquire power. Just a little money and manipulation. She would trick her parents into
thinking she was attending the prestigious Ambi University and siphon them of some
cash for her own pleasure.
She would spend the next year in spas and by the sides of pools reading literature on
investing and power plays while her lesser friends discussed the cover stories of US
Weeklys.
At age 20 she would meet an investor in a high profile members club who she could
play for some big money if the cards came out right. All she needed was a little
financing from another chump. Through her patented manipulation she would get
everything she wanted. Cash from an older gentleman convinced of her admiration and
power of the Tyrell name and an investment that seemed too good to be true. Just a
little time and Kylie could have enough to keep her going long after her parents ATM
runs dry for her.

32

Shortly after her 21st birthday Kylies investor reveals that hes played her and runs off
with her money and another girl (bastard!). Kylie is left nearly penniless and ashamed.
She was out manipulated. Perhaps what she needed something simple or maybe just
needed to confess. Kylie made a visit to her fathers work where she would spot an
innocent looking page failing to hit on some girls. The simple route was taken and she
introduced herself to the boy whose name was Mason. Someone who didnt care about
what season your fashion was in or your status and power. He would be a nice break
from the normal and their relationship would turn into a communion she rather enjoyed.
However Several months later Mason began to realize how controlling she was (ex.
micro managing his outfits, his career path, the percent of milk he should be pouring
into his cereal). The cherry on the sundae comes when he discovered shed been
manipulating her parents into giving her money for a university she doesnt go to. In
protest he breaks up with her before Christmas.
In overcompensation for needing to be better than someone else, Kylie makes the
mistake of out pretentiousing her parents during a christmas gathering, whose
embarrassment warrants their cutting her off and kicking her out.
When her friends learn she wont be able to keep up with the latest fashion in the new
year, they dump her too. 2016 would begin, penniless, friendless and homeless.

33

MILO (ANDRES CHINCHILLA)


The unsung hero of the group that silently keeps the cogs running when they reach a
jam. For instance if theyre trapped in the prisoners block of an alien spacecraft, Milo
will hop through the vents to controls, release the laser locks, then distract the guards
by being adorable so the group can make it out.
Milo is able to communicate with animals but not humans. This can be frustrating
especially since he can understand english but never relay his opinion of a plan (unless
its charade-ing his script ideas to Andre). He is a companion all characters and will
softly snuggle them when theyre down.
Character Arc:
Milo has no arc. Hes already the best version of himself.
Genetics:
- Gray
- Lean, muscular body
- Crazy soft gray hair
- 10 in height
- 4lbs
Posture:
- Generally relaxed
- Stiff and coordinated when in action
Fashion:
- Doesnt care for it, will usually only wear something to fit in with a plan or situation

(Accentuated with tones of gray... obviously)

34

Supporting Characters

35

DAVE aka LANDLORD


Bio:
Mason and Serenas current landlord. He is in his
40s, East Indian/Asian (he does not speak broken
english!), balding with a potbelly and just wants to be
included. He exists as a metaphor for inequality in
primetime television. Everyone argues over how
many white versus black people certain shows hire,
meanwhile no one ever seems to pay attention to
how few asian/east-indian actors get leading roles.
A recurring joke would be how often he is
intentionally/unintentionally ignored by characters
even though he might have or be the deus ex
machina to their problem. Hes often the most
dedicated to bettering himself. In fact he is
constantly taking classes (improv, kung fu, french) in
hopes the group will notice his value. Unfortunately
he can sometimes be a little late bringing his skills to
the table.
Genetics:
- Half asian / half east-indian
- Heavy build, medium muscular
- Thinning black hair, bald on top, incredibly hairy
upper body, smooth hairless legs
- 57 in height
- 195lbs
Posture:
- Always slouched and unprofessional
Fashion:
- No sense of it, wears whatever is practical and comfortable (mostly the same ill-fitting
polo and cargo shorts no matter the temperature
(Accentuated with tones of white)

36

SILHOUETTE MAN
Bio:
The unknown entity that governs the shadows of the Destiny Dogg hot dog stand (the
one missing a g). Though Destiny Dogg is a franchise, his specific cart exists as a
metaphor for contrived coincidence. His role seems to be being in the right place at the
right time for plot progression. If Landlord is the Deus Ex Machina of an episode,
Silhouette Man is the Deus Ex Machina of the series. The first bite of his $3 Destiny
Dogs are also the source of the groups scriptwriting powers. His intentions are yet to
be known.
Genetics:
- Ethnicity unknown
- Medium build, medium muscular
- Hair colour unknown
- 60 in height
- Weight unknown
Posture:
- Intimidating, hulky
Fashion:
- Literally just a silhouette in the shadows
Reference Pictures:

Operates within a cart similar to samples above

37

VAMPIRE POLICEMAN / POLICE CHIEF


(formerly: McCLUSKEY)
Bio:
The result of Masons scripts monkey-pawing. After
being unnecessarily killed by a character Mason created,
then reanimated into a zombie, then again into a
vampire he develops a menacing persona. His
intentions, often misconstrued for evil, lead to Mason
accidentally murdering his vampire wife. From then on
its anyones guess whether his actions are made out of
vengeance, logic or love. The group is almost always
wrong though.
Genetics:
- Vampire (pale grey/white skin)
- Medium build, medium muscular
- Thick, matted, greasy black hair
- 510 in height
- 160lbs
Posture:
- Stooped, menacing
- Always looks as if hes about to pounce
- Rag doll when flying
Fashion:
- Charcoal cloak while outside during the day to shade
himself from the sun
- A darkened, blackish version of his former police
uniform
- A formal black tie on black vest on black tie on black
pants when in formal functions or off work at home
(sleeves rolled up at home)
(Accentuated with tones of black)

38

BANK ROBBER
Bio:
One of the first characters to be created by Mason and is so poorly written almost
everything that comes from his mouth is a cliche. However in order to escape the law
he breaks character. On the run he is torn between acting independently or following
his inner purpose: to spout cliches. He soon finds a home by Vampire Police Chiefs
side, who utilizes all of Bank Robbers worst qualities.
Genetics:
- White
- Medium build, medium muscular
- Hair color unknown (never actually see face)
- 510 in height
- 165lbs
Posture:
- Hunched, creeping
Fashion:
- Wears the same black balaclava, dark grey long sleeve and black pants everywhere
he goes
Reference Pictures:

Balaclava look

Less intense than this dude

39

VANITY GIRL
Bio:
Another one of Masons creations who cares about nothing more than status and a man
that has a lot of dough, literally, as shes attracted to men with excessive baked goods.
She was originally written to be Masons trophy arm candy, but after surrendering his
bag of croissants she decided she wanted nothing to do with him. She can be seen
wandering the city jumping from one person of power to the next while contributing
absolutely nothing to society.
Genetics:
- White
- Thin Build, not very muscular
- Bleach blond bouncy hair (the kind that would create mustard gas if you dipped it in
ammonia)
- 62 in height
- 130lbs
Posture:
- Stuck up, nose always in air
Fashion:
- The sluttiest, designer everything
- Only character that will dress like shes going to the beach while its winter out
Reference Pictures:

Think Suri from 30 Rock. Blonde + Slutty: Check

40

ANDRES CREW
Bio:
The primarily ethnic group of Andres friends that reside in the projects, play obscene
amounts of basketball and maintain an inner city culture. They are Andres antithesis
and look up to him like hes Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. Andres Crew is also
very emotionally intelligent. They have some of the biggest hearts in the Scripted
universe, whereas Andre can be the most jaded. Andres drawn to them and their bliss
because he believes he could have been that way too had he not become such an
overly-critical thinker. Their dichotomy makes you wonder who is truly gifted.
Whenever the group needs muscle for job, Andres Crew is always gleefully on board.
They also happen to give the most bang-on relationship advice.
Genetics:
Lamar (Jamaican, 411, 120lbs, muscular, long black Lil Wayne dreads)
Darnell (Akon-black African, 64, 175lbs, muscular, short black fade)
Henry (Light-skin African, 57, 280lbs, muscular/fat, scraggly black Reggie Watts fro)
Rashad (Middle-Eastern, 511, 160lbs, muscular, short-styled black hair)
Kim-soo (Korean, 56, 135lbs, muscular, jet-black shoulder length hair sharply cut)
Jin-woo (Korean, 57, 145lbs, muscular, long jet black hair mostly in ponytail)
Preeti (East-Indian, 59, 140lbs, mucular, dark brown long hair)
Antonio (Mexican, 60, 165lbs, muscular, flowing black hair like soccer players)
Posture:
- All very relaxed, a mixture of slouching and ready to play ball
Fashion:
- And I cant even go to the grocery store without some ones that clean and a shirt with
a team ~ Kanye West (All Falls Down)
- All very urban influenced and atheletically inspired, chains, jerseys (The Ambi City Wet
Blankets), track pants, sweat pants, jesus pieces, flashy shoes, fitted caps, beanies
(Accentuated with tones of red)
Reference Pictures:

Everyone ballin together with a family mentality behind them

41

PRESIDENT ALIEN
Bio:
The gentle, laid back leader of the alien armada Andre had originally scripted to invade
the planet and be destroyed by his glory. However due to Mason and the groups
efforts, they came to learn the alien race was only looking for a spot to vacation and
were willing to overpay for everything.
The aliens are donut shaped in nature with four squiggly tentacles they use to roll
places. They are also able to expand indefinitely in order to trap things in their donut
hole (ex. criminals, frantic people, birds).
Genetics:
- Alien, donut/tire shaped with four squiggling tentacles
- Doughy build, do they even have muscles?
- Hairless
- Generally 410 in height but can expand to well over 500
- 100lbs
Posture:
- Always on the verge of tipping over, squiggling to stay steady
Fashion:
- No fashion, they paint themselves based on rank and position
- President Alien has a crown affixed to his body
(Accentuated with tones of orange and flecks of pink)
Reference Pictures:

42

SUPER SUPER GAY COUPLE


Bio:
Made up of the two men Kylie and Serena originally scripted in a competition to figure
out who could write the more romantic character. As a means of getting back at the two
for insulting his taste in 21 year old Halle Berrys, Andre scripts the two hunks of meat to
be covertly homosexual, resulting in an even more romantic sub-story when they finally
spot each other for the first time.
Genetics:
Enrique (Kylies date, Latino, 62, 185lbs, muscular, flowing dark brown hair)
Charles (Serenas date, Black, 63, 190lbs, muscular, clean shaven)
Posture:
- Always proper, firm, couldnt slide a hand behind their backs if they were up against a
wall
Fashion:
- Classy as fuck, like characters out of Gossip Girl.
- Everything a size too small to accentuate their physique
- Outfits usually complement each other
Reference Pictures:

Super adorable, super cute, super super gay

Serenas Date (Charles)

Kylies Date (Enrique)

43

BADASS MOZART
Bio:
A reincarnation of the 18th century musical prodigy that was scripted back into
existence as birthday present to Kylie (who adores his work). Unfortunately Mozart
turns out to be a bit of a badboy and a bit of a douchenozzle, using his exceptional
piano skills to swoon as many girls as he can into bed. Because those fingers am I right
ladies!
Reference Pictures:

Regular Mozart

Badass Mozart

LAUNDRY MONSTERS
Bio:
The invented enemy of Pillow Fort Helms Deep, made up of wrinkled and tangled
clothing. At first seen as harmless, they soon prove that just about anything can have a
lethal potential.
(pretty much just laundry twisted and weaved together to make cronenberg-esque type,
anthropomorphic fabric creatures)

44

AMERICAN GOD aka THE HEAD WRITER


Bio:
The commander and captain of American Heaven (situated on all the rain clouds above
Seattle). He hates feedback on the mic and has poignant answers to all your questions.
(pretty much just an impossibly bright light that prevents you from seeing his actual
form, like staring into the sun)
Reference Pictures:

God is new lightbulb bright

Like bring your shades bright

45

Aesthetics and
Settings

46

AESTHETICS
Bright and wide use of colour palette. Visuals are candy for the eyes (contrast to the
serious topics and dark comedy) without being too sweet. The characters and scenery I
imagine Scripted pairing well with would be derivative of shows such as Rick and
Morty, Bojack Horseman, Bobs Burgers, Adventure Time and Futurama. A style of
animation that has an innocence and charm befitting of the characters, but with sharp
realistic angles that give it a reality made into a cartoon vibe. In fact you might notice
that most of the shows listed above have similar strengths in character development.
Although animation and story structure seem like two separate entities I think an
argument can be made that certain amalgamations are more beneficial. In the case of
Scripted Im willing to argue this style of animation will be the best fit.
Shows I consider too rich in saturation to be considered would be The Simpsons,
Family Guy or American Dad. Their visuals are brilliant, but far too overproduced for a
show like Scripted. Not to knock them though, their gloss and shine provide an
excellent 22-minute stage for non-serialized comedy. Unfortunately Scripted aims to be
deeper.
Animation Samples:
(1) Rick and Morty Promo Pic:
Great use of lighting and colour
palette. Character saturation
is used to pop them from the
background. Beauty in
gradients.

(2) Rick and Morty:


Again saturation is used
sparingly and sharp edges give
it a look like it could have been
animated from a picture of a
classroom. No glossed window
(outside is visible).

47

(3) Bojack Horsman:


Background detail. As long as
the foreground pops there is so
much room for world building in
the deeper parts of a frame.
This provides room for tertiary
jokes and sight gags.

(4) Bojack Horseman:


Unfortunately glossed over
windows and pictures. Love
details like the camera people
wearing their own weird shirts
though.

(5) Adventure Time:


Although the scenery is a little
too cartoony for my liking
(unrealistic bends), the use of
gradient pastels and shadows is
remarkable and creates a really
beautiful frame.

48

(6) Futurama:
Probably the closest example of
what I picture for Scripted.
Shadows and gradients used.
Non-glossed windows. Great
city feel. Maybe a little more
saturated than it needs to be.

(7) Futurama:
Love the gradient sky, really gives the frame depth. Use of shadows is ok. Cool almost 3dimensional feel because of the gradient.

*Mind you these are the opinions of a non-animator/illustrator. Theyre the things I
like about certain frames and would love incorporated into Scripted. Stylistically I
imagine there are reasons for shows to include and dismiss certain elements.

49

Title Cards:
Screenplays and knowing reality is the result of a screenplay are central elements to the
show. To incorporate that theme each scene is introduced with its corresponding slug
line (in Courier New) in the lower third to give the feeling the episode is part of a script.
This provides an easy way to convey information such as time of day and location
without having to waste dialogue or establishing shots. It also acts as a means of
building dramatic irony or adding an extra punchline to a scene (ex. Mason walking
through a scary part of town says something like its always worse than it looks. Cue
title card appearance: EXT. DEATH ALLEY - DUSK - 2 MINUTES BEFORE MUGGING)
Title Card Example 1:

However unlike a screenplay, the sluglines will not show up as often. Returns to a
scene already established will not require a title card and some title cards may be
slightly altered from the screenplay to provide better exposition. The differences being:
Sluglines from Pilots Screenplay:
EXT.
EXT.
INT.
INT.
INT.
INT.
INT.
EXT.
INT.
INT.
INT.
EXT.
INT.
INT.
INT.

CITY STREET - ESTABLISHING - AFTERNOON


MASONS APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT
MASONS BEDROOM - NIGHT
MASONS BEDROOM - DAY
MASONS KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
MASONS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
MASONS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
MASONS APARTMENT - DAY
COFFEEBUCKS - CONTINUOUS
BANK - CONTINUOUS
COFFEEBUCKS - CONTINUOUS
MASONS APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
BANK - CONTINUOUS
COFFEEBUCKS - CONTINUOUS
BAKERY - CONTINUOUS

Title Card Sluglines Used:


EXT. CITY STREET - ESTABLISHING - AFTERNOON
EXT. MASONS APARTMENT - NIGHT
INT. MASONS APARTMENT - NIGHT
INT. MASONS APARTMENT - THE NEXT MORNING
(N/A)
INT. MASONS APARTMENT - NIGHT
(N/A)
EXT. MASONS APARTMENT - DAY
INT. COFFEEBUCKS - CONTINUOUS
INT. BANK - SIMULTANEOUS
(N/A)
(N/A)
(N/A)
(N/A)
INT. BAKERY - CONTINUOUS

Title Card Example 2:

50

Background Details:
Attention to details that tie the world and script together are a must. I see every shot
having sight gags among the background acting as a tertiary joke, whether it be a punbased business name, a nod to the dialogue occurring at the time or a call back to the
continuity of a previous episode or scene. Things people miss the first time keep them
coming back.
I find fans appreciate the work that goes into detail (I know I do!). If you look at forums
for episodes of Community, Rick and Morty, Arrested Development and Adventure time
theyre filled with enthusiasts of the shows pointing out all the references and jokes that
other supporters might have been missed.
The key is to subtly stash them. Theyre meant to be easter eggs for fans who rewatch
an episode, who analyze secondary action and who pause frames. Episodes with
twists may have innocuous evidence of the twist coming that are peppered in the
background (ex. in Episode 7, Repetition the characters are locked in a Groundhog
Day situation and are so focused on improving themselves they fail to notice Vampire
Police Chief has been figuring out how to take over as mayor. Throughout the episode
there might be campaign posters subtly blurred on windows and walls that say
VAMPIRE POLICE CHIEF FOR MAYOR: The Only Candidate Not Weighed Down By
Things Like Mortality!)
Maybe this is wishful thinking on my part but Ive always been a fan of unfrosted
windows. I realize its a cartoon, but the use of them always leaves me feeling like Im
watching a play. In certain scenarios mimicking glare is acceptable, but I find if a
window is somewhere shady or being viewed from indoors, transparency adds the extra
tinge of realism for me. This effect is used in animation samples (1), (2), (3) and (6) in
the previous section.

51

SETTINGS
Ambi/Ambee City (tentatively named):
While creating the Scripted universe I knew I wanted the characters playground to be a
metropolitan city, I just didnt know which one. So I decided to take the DC Comic
approach and invent one. Unfortunately Im not the greatest with names so I for awhile I
just called is Ambiguous City, which I since shortened to Ambi or Ambee City. Still
waiting to crowd source that one, but to be honest its kind of growing on me.
Ambi City is an American City with flavors of of L.A, New York, Chicago, San Fransisco
and Toronto. The state is also left ambiguous, but is presumably closer to North-East
America as Ambi City experiences all four seasons.
Its populated with your classic big city characters from the homeless to pretentious
moms to suits to skate punks. Its a rich mosaic of culture and experience. It is also the
backdrop for everything that occurs during the stories of Scripted. In fact every episode
adds a new coat of paint showcasing the continuity of the series. For example before
episode three you might see a homeless man or two as characters walk down a city
street. However in episode three a character uses her powers to give all the homeless
expensive CARRIAGE bags (a play on COACH). So from episode three onwards
every homeless man seen in the background will also be taking donations in their shiny
CARRIAGE bag provided for them. As the series progresses the wealth of tertiary
references available to swap in and out will expand.
I found the most recent season of South Park did this extremely well and in a way that
was non-distracting, reaffirmed the characters and provided that members only feeling
for those that had seen previous episodes.
Mason and Serenas Apartment:
A 1200 square foot two bedroom vintage corner apartment on the fourth/top floor of an
old brick walk up apartment building. In order to afford the place Serena pays extra for
the master suite ($850) while Mason pays a mere ($450) for his compartment. They
have picture windows that face the street and face the alleyway, as well as access to a
fire escape.
As far as furnishing and the general aesthetic of the apartment, its messy and you can
tell its occupied by 20 year olds. Bongs and beer bottles occasionally scatter the place
and the walls are covered with alternating paintings Serenas been working on. They
have a gaming system, ikea couch from craigslist and very few books. In fact they only
have the Harry Potter series.
Mason and Serenas apartment is very much a home base in the show. Characters will
watch news reports there, hang out, throw parties and plan their missions. The
buildings proprietor Landlord lives in the basement apartment 4 stories below them.

52

Coffeebucks:
Pretty easy to guess what this is a parody of! Coffeebucks is a coffee and espresso
franchise that Kylie winds up getting a job at. However the one that hires her happens
to be extremely out of the way for all of the characters to get to. A fact thats brought up
passive aggressively again and again as it somehow turns into their primary writers
group location.
Its got a fairly standard coffee chain trying to be hip vibe. Hardwood floors, merch
cabinet, CDs for sale, two couch sections and an upright piano. There is almost always
someone in the background working on their screenplay on their Macbook book just to
be seen working on their screenplay on their macbook out in public.
Andres Apartment:
A 900 square foot one bedroom center apartment on the 10th floor of a residential
building with a small solarium and balcony. Andres apartment is filled with an
extraordinary amount of books and shelves. When people come over he wants them to
know right away theyre dealing with someone more classy and well read. The place is
immaculate. Part of Andre being better than other people is the secret motto he lives by
cleanliness is to godliness.
Although Andres apartment, he technically has a roommate living rent free with him, his
chinchilla Milo. The apartment is set up in such a way that Milo has plenty of
climbable ledges and places for him to practice his animal acrobatics. Although he has
his own tiny sleeping house perched on one of the shelves, Milo prefers to snuggle up
to Andre at night.
Andres apartment is furnished with higher end items such as leather couches, a hidden
sub-zero refrigerator, 62 flatscreen tv and reprints of famous pieces of art (Edvard
Munchs The Scream). His solarium contains a chalk board wall with equations and
doodles and his small balcony has a minibar.
Kylies Palace:
In the third episode Kylie writes herself in a palace in the middle of the city. An
enormous circular palace big enough to fill a Times Square sized lot with architectural
influences taken from Princess Bubblegums Castle from Adventure Time, Cinderellas
Castle and Frances Chteau de Chaumont. It is surrounded by a moat filled with
Narwhals and only accessible via guarded drawbridge.
The interior has a large main chamber, a master bedroom, an obscene amount of extra
bedrooms and bathrooms and is all built with cobbled stone.
At the end of episode three Vampire Policeman takes over ownership of the palace and
converts it into his new police station. In the eighth episode the palace is destroyed by
alien invaders and the moats narwhals are scattered into the city.

53

Kylies Apartment:
A 600 square foot antique center apartment on the third/top floor of an old run down
brick walk up building. Paint chips off the walls, leaks drip from the roof and theres not
very good natural lighting. Linoleum is dressed to look like hardwood for the floors.
As far as furnishings go Kylie has none for a few episodes, utilizing her clothes as a
makeshift mattress. When she abandoned her palace (because of all the murders)
unfortunately the only thing she took was her wardrobe.
She controls the urge to break protocol and screenwrite herself money for a little bit, but
cant handle going from riches to rags and eventually furnishes her place like a tiny
Macys. Her walls are covered in original pieces of famous artwork and her place is
cluttered with unnecessary item after unnecessary item (ex. an avocado slicer, a
faberge egg.
Destiny Dogg Factory
A large warehouse/factory in the industrial district of Ambi City. Its surrounded by a
barbed wire fence around its perimeter and has unnecessarily high security for a hot
dog factory (including spotlights and guard dogs).
The Destiny Dogg Factory is the location Destiny Dogg hot dogs are made and where
the Destiny Dogg carts return at the end of the day for maintenance. In the sixth
episode we experience a WIlly-wonka-esque tour of the facility led by CEO Snoopifer
Dogg (a play on Lucifer and Snoop Doog) who Mason is disappointed turns out to be a
middle aged grandiloquent white guy.
The factorys lobby is sleek, modern and Apple-esque. A stark contrast to the factory
which turns out to be dirty, grimy and full of dangerous chemicals stunting the workers
growth, turning them orange and making them sick. The repair bay for the Destiny
Dogg carts in reminiscent of something out of Star Wars, like it should be housing XWings and Millennium Falcons.
At the end of episode six the Destiny Dogg factory is shut down. The group returns to
the abandoned factory to utilize its enormous empty hanger in episode eleven.
American Heaven:
The afterlife resort every american born citizen gets 20 all inclusive years at when they
die. Surrounded by a sea of fluffy clouds its home to nearly 30 million people and built
to look like a solid gold Dubai. Skyscrapers shoot from its center like organ pipes and
streets are built with white cobblestone. A single shuttle tram is used to ferry people
from the pearly gates and into the city.
For more on American Heavens aesthetics check out BREAKDOWN OF AMERICAN
HEAVEN in the section ADDITIONAL SHOW ANALYSIS.

54

Marketability

55

IDEAL AUDIENCE
Demographic:
Adults 18-35
Similar shows with ensemble casts:
Archer
Community
30 Rock
Arrested Development
Similar shows with meta elements:
Community
30 Rock
Futurama
Similar shows with unique universe:
Rick and Morty
Adventure Time
Futurama
THE THREE LAWS OF CULT TELEVISION
(Each Episode should have the following)
Investing Appeal
Characters, settings and concepts are creative and comedic enough that the average
viewer will be ecstatic to check out more.
Recollection Reward
Characters, settings and concepts reference previous characters, settings and concepts
in a way that enhances the experience for fans continuing with the series, but does not
detract from the episodes merit for casual viewers.
Rewatch Reward
Characters, settings and concepts have subtleties that require multiple viewings to fully
appreciate, but do not detract from the episodes merit for casual viewers. (ex. a murder
mystery may have clues scattered throughout the episode as to who the killer is).
Part of the reason Sherlock Holmes is so popular is because he is given all of the
information we are (including details we may find uninteresting) and he is able to weave
a fantastical conclusion. The first time we are impressed with the characters intellect.
The second time around we pick up on all the clues and theres a feeling closer to being
in the members only room of an inside joke.

56

ADDITIONAL SHOW
ANALYSIS

57

TITLE SEQUENCE
(1) Colored Courier New lines from popular screenplays roll in from the bottom of the
screen and across a white background until hitting the top where each letter
deconstructs into stalactites like nails to a magnet.
(2) As the lines come in faster, letters stacking at the top, more of the screen begins to
fill in. Projected onto the piles are flashes of recognizable scenes from famous movies
and tv shows (as well as glimpses of scenes from Scripteds first season), all in
Scripteds style of animation of course until the screen is completely filled.
(3) As soon as the last pixel fills in from white we slam to solid black with SCRIPTED
dead center in Courier New. Typewriter sound as Created by Michael Flamank comes
in beneath it.
CLASSIFICATION OF ROLES
Characters - Are the people and things that populate the scripts. To them whatever is
in the script is reality. They believe every word and concept whether it be that the world
is run by a noodle monster or made from candy. It doesnt matter that yesterday
everything was medieval themed. The reality they accept is that everything is possible.
Viewers - Are characters that have been detached from reality. Whatever stop they got
off at on the script train is where they began observing reality. Everything on the tracks
before that point is gospel to them. That WAS their reality. And it is their choice
whether or not to believe that parts of it were scripted. In fact the only thing that could
make a viewer question their past is if another viewer (or writer) who got off at an
earlier stop on the script train let them in that hey that noodle monster... I scripted
that / it was scripted into reality. A nice parallel would be Morpheus explaining to Neo
that his entire life had been programmed up unto the point he was unplugged from The
Matrix.
Once a viewer is off the script train they are able to witness changes be made to
reality. For instance if one day the whole world started grabbing each others boobs as
the new standard of greeting, a viewer would recognize that it used to be a hand shake
and someone is messing around. But for the characters their reality is that the earthwide switch to boob grabbing is totally normal. A viewer is able to discern what
impossibility or unlikelihood was made possible.
Writers - Are characters or viewers that have had a bite of a certain hot dog from the
special Destiny Dog cart run by the Silhouette Man. They share all the same properties
as viewers, but are also able to script reality. Writers do this by typing out their
screenplay into a scriptwriting program and at midnight their screenplay disappears
from their template and becomes reality. A writer is able to make the unlikely or the
impossible into the possible.

58

RULES OF THE SCRIPTED UNIVERSE


The rules of the Scripted universe are actually fairly simple.
(1) Everyone is a character until they are made aware they are part of a show. Then
they become a viewer. (ex. Frank telling Tom Oh hey did you know were part of an
elaborate animated production whose sole purpose is as a conduit for potential ads?)
(2) Viewers can become writers after eating a special hot dog from a certain Destiny
Dog cart. (ex. Tom purchases and eats a special hot dog... and well thats pretty much
all there is to that one)
(3) Writers are able to write scripts for upcoming days using a laptop with a
scriptwriting program and a connection to the internet. At midnight the script is sent to
the cloud and becomes reality. (ex. Tom writes that he wakes up to a room full of sour
cream and onion chips. The next day he wakes up in a sea of deliciousness)
(4) Writers are only able to script the actions of characters and cannot control
viewers. (ex. Tom can write a script where Frank is a ballerina, but if Frank is a viewer
or a writer it wont work)
CHARACTER WARDROBE
Each outfit worn by a character is garnished with colour coded elements to reflect their
personality:
Mason - blues - represents innocence
Andre - greens - represents pensiveness
Serena - yellows - represents an easy-going nature
Kylie - purples - represents royalty and status
Milo - grays - represents neutrality
Vampire Policeman / Police Chief - blacks - represents evil
Landlord - whites - represents good naturedness
Andres Crew - reds - represents passion and heart
Aliens - oranges and pinks - represents whimsical and silliness
In addition, due to the series being set along a fixed timeline (Beginning of 2016), their
outfits will range from winter-wear near the start of the series and progress into warmer,
skimpier clothing for the spring and summer.

59

RESTRICTIONS OF CHARACTER WEALTH


Gods are difficult to write for. And that is essentially what the characters of Scripted are.
Mortal gods. They are beings who can solve any problem with the tapping of a few
keys and that makes for boring television. So the question is how to make their stories
engaging and create real tension?
While creating Scripted I looked to other works of fiction that had characters baring
absolute power. Among them there were no harder characters to establish stakes for
than Superman. Thats because invincibility and perfect moral integrity are a losing
combination story-wise. They add up to a boring character because theres no room for
growth and most conflict comes from not being able to be everywhere at once.
Scripteds characters are stripped of these attributes.
Invincibility:
All of the Scripted characters are killable.
Perfect Moral Integrity:
All of the Scripted characters are rooted in their flaws and tragedies.
Awesome. So what were left with are morally ambiguous and destructible characters
with absolute power. And...
With great power comes great responsibility.
!
~Uncle Ben
But you know what the most unbelievable part of any superhero movie is? That
everyone who is endowed with that power feels the obligation to selflessly utilize it (or
harness it for unjustifiable evil). When in reality Im guessing most of us would kick back
and exploit the good life. In that sense Scripteds characters are more realistic than any
DC or Marvel protagonist. Theyre not relegated to one archetype.
However this still poses some storytelling issues. As original as the spin is, it doesnt
exactly shout engaging thrill ride! Its like watching a mega millions winner spend their
money. Sure the initial win is exciting, but beyond that it gets repetitive and boring.
Which is why we cant have characters capable of fulfilling their every materialistic
desire. They should strive for more. Which is why certain plot walls are put in place.
Characters learn consequence of actions early on.
The characters are introduced to the Monkey Paw of their universe relatively early.
Actions done purely for financial gain are met with disastrous ramifications, instilling a
fear of greed (ex. in the Pilot Mason uses a script to net himself a large burlap sack of
money, but in doing so unforeseeably and indirectly kills a noble police officer).

60

Everything has to come from somewhere.


The characters learn that anything and everything uncharitably conjured for their scripts
have come from more morally deserving people (ex. Kylie writes in herself a sum of
money to go grocery shopping then learns the money came from a village in Africa that
will now (without their life savings) starve to death.
Characters are intimidated by another to forgo wealth.
After the accidental murder of his wife, Vampire Policeman wants revenge, but instead
settles for restriction of the characters wealth. Meaning if anything shows up or does
not show up on their taxes that wasnt earned he has the right to murder.
The best things in life are free.
The characters discover that ultimately quick financial gain and fame are unfulfilling and
that its usually the simplest time spent together being creative and solving problems
that they really cherish.

61

PARODY OF PRODUCTS
Scripted takes the Grand Theft Auto approach to popular goods and name brands.
Most of the time replacing them with a satirical take on their title. Things like:
Gatorade becomes Crocohelp
Price is Right becomes Cost is Correct
Starbucks becomes Coffeebucks
The theory being that other people in the Scripted universe have had screenwriting
powers before the characters of Scripted. And they figured out how to get around the
wealth restrictions by writing themselves in as the inventor of a popular product, then
reaping the residuals.
BATTING ORDER
Early on in the series our main ensemble comes together to devise a system of fair
enablement. By writing as a group theyre able to avoid deadly mistakes when scripts
cross and keep more eyes out for potential Monkey Paws. Of course certain desires
may not be realized on group consensus so in order for everyone to get what they want
each must have a turn with veto power (as the groups head writer).
They decide on a system of one day on, one day off, to allow recovery from their
sometimes arduous episodes. Since Serena and Milo dont have the ability to
screenwrite, they usually dictate or charade it to Andre to script. Sample writing
schedule:
Day 1: Group discusses potential ideas for the next day.
Day 2: Andres script plays out.
Day 3: Group discusses potential ideas for the next day.
Day 4: Milos script plays out.
Day 5: Group discusses potential ideas for the next day.
Day 6: Masons script plays out.
Day 7: Group discusses potential ideas for the next day.
Day 8: Kylies script plays out.
Day 9: Group discusses potential ideas for the next day.
Day 10: Serenas rad script plays out.
Day 11: (return to Day 1, cycle complete).

Andre writes the script.


Milo charades script to Andre.
Mason writes the script.
Kylie writes the script.
Serena dictates the script.

62

BREAKDOWN OF AMERICAN HEAVEN


In the scripted universe heaven exists. Just not in the capacity youre used to. So
heres a brief run down of the misconceptions and how some of their operations work:
One God, One Heaven
In the Scripted Universe every country has their own heaven. Thats right theres
Brazilian Heaven, Croatian Heaven, hell theres even Monaco Heaven (good thing the
country is too small for its deaths to over populate the afterlife!) and it is ballin! The one
Scripted visits in the first season is none other than American Heaven, located over
Seattle (which is why the home of the Mariners is pretty much always shrouded in
overcast). Similarly, heavens in other countries rest on the clouds of their rainiest cities
(ie. Canadian Heaven over Vancouver).
Eternal Bliss
Sorry but theres a reason eternal bliss doesnt make sense: its not feasible! When you
have nearly 2 million people dying in your country every year, your heaven is gonna get
pretty darn crowded and uncomfortable. So in the afterlife everyone is allotted 20 years
of bliss in their peak physical condition from age 20 to age 40 (this equates to American
Heaven being maintained at roughly the same population as Tokyo). After your 20
years are up, your consciousnesss memory is wiped and youre reincarnated into a
new random baby on Earth.
Hell
The name popularly attributed to a fantastical place where sinners are tortured for
eternity. Again, not quite accurate. In Scripteds Universe hell exists, but its what
people of heaven use to refer to Earth as, thus vindicating the term hell on earth. It
turns out back in the day when humans lived to an average age of 40, there was a
reason for that. That reason was the 3-stage system.
How the 3-stage system is supposed to work:
Birth to Age 20 are the years you spend in hell. Sure there may be many fun times,
but of all the stages, this is comparably the worst. They are the 20 years you spend
most confused and physically feeble. Hormones screw with you, bullies unjustifiably
tease and most of the time you feel alone and awkward as... well hell.
Age 20 to Death are the years you spend living. You have made it through hell and
are finally a complete and capable person. With enough training you have the ability to
reach and keep yourself at your physical, emotional and mental peak and reap the fruits
of your labor.
Death to Rebirth are the years you spend in heaven. You made it through hell and
life and for the next 20 years the afterlife has your back. It doesnt matter what
condition you arrived in as youre automatically restored to the exact same peak
everything as everyone else. It is essentially club med until its time to go back to hell.

63

*Age 40 to Death is not recognized by the 3-stage system and any life experienced
between such events is not covered under warranty. Because humans were never
supposed to live past the age of 40, which is why the body starts to rapidly deteriorate
and fall apart. Eventually, if you live long enough after 40, you re-enter a state of hell
you were never supposed to (this is your cue to just die already!).
3-Stage System FAQ:
What if I dont live to be 40?
No worries, 20 is the cut off. But unfortunately since heaven is the reward for surviving
that long, if you fail to make it to the age 20 mark your consciousnesss memory is
wiped and you are reincarnated into a new baby to try again.
I know some dude whos a huge douchebag and Im pretty sure hes going to
make it to 20. Will I have to deal with him in heaven?
Heaven has a strict No Douchebag policy. Anyone who is sufficiently douchie enough
will instead have their consciousnesss memory wiped and reincarnated into a new baby
to try again.
Is it true all dogs go to heaven?
Who keeps telling people this!? Im sorry to inform you that heaven caters only to
humans. Animal are wiped of their memories and reincarnated into other animals.
But what about seeing-eye dogs?
Upon entry to heaven you are restored to your peak self which includes refurbished
eyesight.
Oh cool!
I know right!
Can I die in heaven?
Yes.
What!? Really? What happens?
Your consciousnesss memory is wiped and you are reincarnated into a new baby to try
again.
That seems unfair.
Well hey if you cant survive in heaven you dont deserve to be there.

64

God aka The Universes Head Writer


Contrary to popular belief God is not omniscient or omnipresent. Perhaps at one time
he was. Now-a-days hes more like the kid that only finished half of his project and cant
be bothered to complete it (and whines whenever you bring it up). He intended to
create a utopia but now is more like the gym rat that always skips leg day and its super
noticeable.
Security
The only way into American Heaven is through the Pearly Gates. Though it might look
like you can hop the fence, fly over, or pop up from under the clouds on the other side, a
spherical force field prevents this. As well, American Heavens Central City is
surrounded by several miles of diaphanous cloud cover (possibility of falling through it to
your death). A single shuttle is used to transfer new members from the Pearly gates,
across the cotton sea and into Central City.
Central City
The metropolis that houses ~ 40 million members. It looks like something that would be
built in Dubai. Great towering golden skyscrapers that look like the pipes of an organ.
Everything has a white/gold colour scheme to it.
Angels and The Gays
Heaven cant get enough of homosexuality. If fact most of heaven was built and
designed by the gays. The problem is that the city is always expanding and there are
never enough gays to run. So early in the bible god had a verse written urging people
to stone them to death so they would arrive in paradise quicker. As an apology, each
homosexual that enters heaven is given wings for the duration of their stay.
God-made Diseases
AIDS: When the gays started gaining rights and stopped bully-related early suicide,
heaven began to suffer. Needing gays to run heaven, God invented AIDS to bring as
many in as he could.
Cancer: Invented by god to take out persistent 40+ year olds.
Alzheimers: Invented by God to save on the cost of future memory wipes.
The Cloud
Ever heard of a picture or file being sent to The Cloud? Yep thats in heaven. And in
the server room of heavens Central Intelligence Building are records of everybody past
and present, their phone calls and everything theyve ever sent to the cloud... including
scripts.

65

BERTRAND RUSSELL PARADOX


Also known as Russell's Antinomy. According to naive set theory, any definable
collection is a set. Let R be the set of all sets that are not members of themselves. If R
is not a member of itself, then its definition dictates that it must contain itself, and if it
contains itself, then it contradicts its own definition as the set of all sets that are not
members of themselves. This contradiction is Russell's paradox.
(Source of paragraph above: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell%27s_paradox)
It sounds confusing, but once you understand it... well okay its still a bit of a mind
melter. But its one that is essential to Scripteds underlying existential themes.
Back in 2009 I spent several months out on the Masaii Mara with the Kikuyu Tribe as
well as in the slums of Kawangare, Nairobi, Kenya. I brought a single book with me,
recommended by a former calculus teacher to pass the time. That book was Godel,
Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid. The author, Douglas Hofstadter describes it as
a metaphorical fugue on minds and machines in the spirit of Lewis Carroll." Not exactly
light reading, but I wasnt exactly in a light place at the time. If you get a chance I highly
recommend checking it out (also the people at Pulitzer think you should as well!).
In Chapter 15 Jumping out of the System Douglas breaks down Bertrand Russells
Paradox. A proof that no system can contain all definable systems and itself because it
would become yet another definable system to contain. An easy parallel would be:
Q: Who created the universe?
A: God
Q: Who created God?
A: Meta-God
Q: Well than who created Meta-God?
A: Meta-Meta-God
....etc.
Its a sort of Chicken and the Egg Paradox. If the universe was made by God, then he
is part of a Meta-Universe that had to be created by a Meta-God. And that Meta-God is
part of a Meta-Meta-Universe and so forth and so forth.
So how does this relate to Scripted? Easy. Scripted at its mechanical heart is a
demonstration of the paradox. The characters believe theyve broken it because they
are simultaneously outside and within the system they are defining. Little do they know
everything they are doing is the product of the animation team (their Meta-God). And
perhaps everyone involved with the production (including you reading this and also me
writing this) are subjects of a Meta-Meta-Gods script (we have no free will... sorry). Or
hey maybe we do. The exploration of the topic in Scripted is just too good to pass up.
(Next 4 pages excerpted from the introduction to Chapter 15 of Godel, Escher, Bach)

Birthday Cantatatata . .
One (tine May day, the Tortoise and Achilles meet, wandering in the woods.
The latter, all decked out handsomely, is doing a jiggish sort of thing to a
tune which he himself is humming. On his vest he is wearing a great big
button with the words "Today is my Birthday!"
Tortoise: Hello there, .Achilles. What makes you so joyful today? Is it your birthday, by
any chance?
Achilles: Yes, yes! Yes it is, today is my birthday!
Tortoise: That is what I had suspected, on account of that button which you are wearing,
and also because unless I am mistaken, you are singing a tune from a Birthday
Cantata by Bach, one written in 1727 for the fifty-seventh birthday of Augustus, King
of Saxony.
Achilles: You're right. And Augustus' birthday coincides with mine, so THIS Birthday
Cantata has double meaning. However, I shan't tell you my age.
Tortoise: Oh, that's perfectly all right. However, I would like to know one other thing.
From what you have told me so far, would it be correct to conclude that today is your
birthday?
Achilles: Yes, yes, it would be. Today is my birthday.
Tortoise: Excellent. That's just as I suspected. So now, I WILL conclude it is your
birthday, unless
Achilles: Yes-unless what?
Tortoise: Unless that would be a premature or hasty conclusion to draw, you know.
Tortoises don't like to jump to conclusions, after all. (We don't like to jump at all, but
especially not to conclusions.) So let me just ask you, knowing full well of your
fondness for logical thought, whether it would be reasonable to deduce logically from
the foregoing sentences, that today is in fact your birthday.
Achilles: I do believe I detect a pattern to your questions, Mr. T. But rather than jump to
conclusions myself, I shall take your question at face value, and answer it
straightforwardly. The answer is: YES.
Tortoise: Fine! Fine! Then there is only one more thing I need to know, to be quite
certain that today is
Achilles: Yes, yes, yes, yes ... I can already see the line of your questioning, Mr. T. I'll
have you know that I am not so gullible as I was when we discussed Euclid's proof, a
while back.
Tortoise: Why, who would ever have thought you to be gullible? Quite to the contrary, I
regard you as an expert in the forms of logical thought, an authority in the science of
valid deductions. a fount of knowledge about certain correct methods of reasoning. . .
To tell the truth, Achilles, you are, in my opinion, a veritable titan in the art of rational
cogitation.

Birthday Cantatatata . .

455

And it is only for that reason that I would ask you, "Do the foregoing sentences present
enough evidence that I should conclude without further puzzlement that today is your
birthday
Achilles: You flatten me with your weighty praise, Mr. T-FLATTER, I mean. But I am
struck by the repetitive nature of your questioning and in my estimation, you, just as
well as I, could have answered `yes' each time.
Tortoise: Of course I could have, Achilles. But you see, to do so would have been to
make a Wild Guess-and Tortoises abhor Wild Guesses. Tortoises formulate only
Educated Guesses. Ah, yes-the power of the Educated Guess. You have no idea how
many people fail to take into account all the Relevant Factors when they're guessing.
Achilles: It seems to me that there was only one relevant factor in this rigmarole, and that
was my first statement.
Tortoise: Oh, to be sure, it's at least ONE of the factors to take into account, I'd say-but
would you have me neglect Logic, that venerated science of the ancients? Logic is
always a Relevant Factor in making Educated Guesses, and since I have with me a
renowned expert in Logic, I thought it only Logical to take advantage of that fact, and
confirm my hunches, by directly asking him whether my intuitions were correct. So
let me finally come out and ask you point blank: "Do the preceding sentences allow
me to conclude, with no room for doubt, that Today is your Birthday?"
Achilles: For one more time, YES. But frankly speaking, I have the distinct impression
that you could have supplied that answer-as well as all the previous ones-yourself.
Tortoise: How your words sting! Would I were so wise as your insinuation suggests! But
as merely a mortal Tortoise, profoundly ignorant and longing to take into account all
the Relevant Factors, I needed to know the answers to all those questions.
Achilles: Well then, let me clear the matter up for once and for all. The answer to all the
previous questions, and to all the succeeding ones which you will ask along the same
line, is just this: YES.
Tortoise: Wonderful! In one fell swoop, you have circumvented the whole mess, in your
characteristically inventive manner. I hope you won't mind if I call this ingenious
trick an ANSWER SCHEMA. It rolls up yes-answers numbers 1, 2, 3, etc., into one
single ball. In fact, coming as it does at the end of the line, it deserves the title
"Answer Schema Omega", `w' being the last letter of the Greek alphabet-as if YOU
needed to be told THAT!
Achilles: I don't care what you call it. I am just very relieved that you finally agree that it
is my birthday, and we can go on to some other topic-such as what you are going to
give me as a present.
Tortoise: Hold onnot so fast. I WILL agree it is your birthday, provided on thing
Achilles: What? That I Ask for no present?

Birthday Cantatatata . .

456

Tortoise: Not at all. In fact, Achilles, I am looking forward to treating you to a fine
birthday dinner, provided merely that I am convinced that knowledge of all those yesanswers at once (as supplied by Answer Schema w) allows me to proceed directly and
without any further detours to the conclusion that today is your birthday. That's the
case, isn't it?
Achilles: Yes, of course it is.
Tortoise: Good. And now I have yes-answer + 1. Armed with it, I can proceed to
accept the hypothesis that today is your birthday, if it is valid to do so. Would you be
so kind as to counsel me on that matter, Achilles?
Achilles: What is this? I thought I had seen through your infinite plot. Now doesn't yesanswer + 1 satisfy you? All right. I'll give you not only yes-answer + 2, but also
yes-answers + 3, + 4, and so on.
Tortoise: How generous of you, Achilles. And here it is your birthday, when I should be
giving YOU presents instead of the reverse. Or rather, I SUSPECT it is your birthday.
I guess I can conclude that it IS your birthday, now, armed with the new Answer
Schema, which I will call "Answer Schema 2 ". But tell me, Achilles: Does Answer
Schema 2 REALLY allow me to make that enormous leap, or am I missing
something?
Achilles: You won't trick me any more, Mr. T. I've seen the way to end this silly game. I
hereby shall present you with an Answer Schema to end all Answer Schemas! That is,
I present you simultaneously with Answer Schemas , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , etc. With
this Meta-Answer-Schema, I have JUMPED OUT of the whole system, kit and
caboodle, transcended this silly game you thought you had me trapped in-and now we
are DONE!
Tortoise: Good grief! I feel honored, Achilles, to be the recipient of such a powerful
Answer Schema. I feel that seldom has anything so gigantic been devised by the mind
of man, and I am awestruck by its power. Would you mind if I give a name to your
gift?
Achilles: Not at all.
Tortoise: Then I shall call it "Answer Schema 2". And we can shortly proceed to other
matters-as soon as you tell me whether the possession of Answer Schema 2 allows
me to deduce that today is your birthday.
Achilles: Oh, woe is me! Can't I ever reach the end of this tantalizing trail? What comes
next?
Tortoise: Well, after Answer Schema 2 there's answer 2 + 1. And then answer 2 + 2.
And so forth. But you can wrap those all together into a packet, being Answer
Schema 2 + . And then there are quite a few other answer-packets, such as 2 + 2,
and 2 + 3. Eventually you come to Answer Schema 22, and after a while,
Answer Schemas 32 and 42. Beyond them there

Birthday Cantatatata . .

457

are yet further Answer Schemas, such as 3;, 4, 5, and so on. It goes on quite a
ways, you know.
Achilles: I can imagine, I suppose it comes to Answer Schema are yet further Answer
Schemas, such as w;, w4, w5, and so on. It goes on quite a ways, you know.
Achilles: I can imagine, I suppose it comes to Answer Schema after a while.
Tortoise: Of course.
Achilles: And then , and ',
Tortoise: You're catching on mighty fast, Achilles. I have a suggestion for you, if you
don't mind. Why don't you throw all of those together into a single Answer Schema?
Achilles: All right, though I'm beginning to doubt whether it will do any good.
Tortoise: It seems to me that within our naming conventions as so far set up, there is no
obvious name for this one. So perhaps we should just arbitrarily name it Answer
Schema o.
Achilles: Confound it all! Every time you give one of my answers a NAME, it seems to
signal the imminent shattering of my hopes that that answer will satisfy you. Why
don't we just leave this Answer Schema nameless?
Tortoise: We can hardly do that, Achilles. We wouldn't have any way to refer to it
without a name. And besides, there is something inevitable and rather beautiful about
this particular Answer Schema. It would be quite ungraceful to leave it nameless! And
you wouldn't want to do something lacking in grace on your birthday, would you? Or
is it your birthday? Say, speaking of birthdays, today is MY' birthday!
Achilles:
It is?
Tortoise: Yes, it is. Well, actually, it's my uncle's birthday, but that's almost the same.
How would you like to treat me to a delicious birthday dinner this evening?
Achilles: Now just a cotton-picking minute, Mr. T. Today is MY birthday. You should do
the treating!
Tortoise: Ah, but you never did succeed in convincing me of the veracity of that remark.
You kept on beating around the bush with answers, Answer Schemas, and whatnot.
All I wanted to know was if it was your birthday or not, but you managed to befuddle
me entirely. Oh, well, too bad. In any case, I'll be happy to let you treat me to a
birthday dinner this evening.
Achilles: Very well. I know just the place. They have a variety of delicious soups. And I
know exactly what kind we should have ...

Birthday Cantatatata . .

458

70

Episodes

71

Pilot Summary:
With shows that are as complex and nuanced as Scripted you really want to ease the
viewer into its universe and give them time to familiarize with the characters and setting.
The Pilot begins with a military assault on heaven. Goodbye rules.
As Andre lays waste to several angels with an arm mounted laser cannon, Mason and
Milo smash through the pearly gates in their M1A2 Abrams Battle Tank. They are there
for one purpose: to blow up heaven. Why you ask? Well this shows not The Matrix.
Its not like we can just flashback to how it all started.
Flashback to 82 days earlier. Where it all started.
We reacquaint ourselves with Mason and Andre in their tranquil beginnings, ribbing
each other as only longtime friends and brothers do. Theyre from the same foster
home but share polar personalities. Andre has his opinions already made. Mason is
perpetually doubtful. Andres an apathetic narcissist. Mason has to listen to his
conscious and help the barista girl lift her box of coffee beans. A move that breaks the
box, and a barista girl that happens to be Masons recently minted ex-girlfriend.
Kylie was queen bee of her life and now she has nothing but a Coffeebucks smock.
Mason dumped her for being obnoxious, her parents kicked her out for being too
obnoxious and her friends left her for no longer being able to afford the lifestyle of a
Gossip Girl character. Mason cuts their unpleasant encounter short to purchase a
Destiny Dog brand hot dog in front of her. The ultimate sin considering the two of
them used to share a vegan diet.
Then all hail contrived coincidence because the cart Mason buys from has a secret. Its
street meat does more than fill you with base nutrition and $3 regret, its weiners are the
red pill. One bite and the universe is exposed for what it really is: a production, a
Truman Show, a Scripted reality! And once you know about it, you can rewrite it.
The world freezes as if buffering (theres even a circulating beach ball thing) and for a
few seconds Mason is unstuck and unsure of whats happening. When existence
catches up loading and movement resumes, hes left wondering if it was a hallucination
or if he was really on the outside. Andre explains Bertrand Russells Paradox: you cant
be simultaneously outside of your set and part of it (a character in a tv show and know
youre a character). Unless youre the writer. And theres no way you scripted this
[Mason].
True to his curious nature, Mason downloads a screenplay program Scriptwriterpro
and pretends to write a screenplay for the following day (ie. his rooms clean, dishes are
done, roommate [Serena] isnt such a twat waffle). Thats as far as he gets. Hes not a
good writer. But hey you dont always have to be to get your work produced (wink face
emoticon). Mason awakes to find his scripts demands have been met. Interesting..

72

Over the next week he experiments, cycling his apartment through various themes (ex.
ball pit, Tron, ice palace, regular with all the beer pre-shaken) as Serena gleefully frolics
in each new reality. Once he figures he has a hold of his new power and sufficient
evidence, he invites Andre over to demonstrate his abilities. However Andre remains
skeptical when theres a discrepancy in the amount of money Mason scripts to be in
Andres pocket and the actual amount (far far less). They reschedule for a late bunch
the next day where Mason will show him what he can really do.
Suspecting his friends recent demeanor has something to do with the breakup, Andre
reluctantly meets with Kylie. Meanwhile Mason sets his most ambitious screenplay into
motion: a sequence of events that will net him a supermodel, a wealth of cash, a
considerable amount of croissants and a spot in the news cycle for single handedly
stopping a bank robbery. And wouldnt it be nice if everything went accordingly.
Due to complications, Mason ends up model and croissant-less with a dead policeman
in his arms and a psychopath on the run. A truly traumatizing experience. One he can
totally fix. He swears!
Mason bails on brunch to bring the policeman back to life in a screenplay for the next
day. Which works! In that the policeman becomes undead... as a zombie... who
promptly eats the brains of his wife and children... Okay no worries! Mason will just try
again and make sure to specify in his script that the policeman does not become a
zombie. Also that his family are alive again and are not zombies. Ya that should work!
The next day policeman and his family have been reanimated as vampires. I know!
Youve gotta be kidding me! Vampire Policeman begins a gruesome killing spree and
Andre, tired of Mason ignoring calls, visits the apartment because Mason is scripting
the universe like an amateur improv troupe. Also Mason still owes him brunch.
Finally invested in the concept and gravity of the situation, Andre has formulated a plan
to deal with the now looming murderous vampire problem. Two brunches will be owed.
At dusk Mason and Andre stake out Vampire Policemans apartment. The aim is for
Mason to be invited inside, passed a stake through the bathroom window (by Andre)
and then a stealthy kebabing of Vampire Policemans heart. Steps one and two
execute flawlessly. Step three (the one that requires figurative and literal execution)
results in Mason accidentally murdering Vampire Policemans wife. Woops.
Mason, retraumatized, leaves the scene before capture and phones Andre who has
made it back home to his sofa. They go over all the loose ends, but Andre feels like
theyve forgotten about one (a quick flash to 72 days later: their future selves attacking
heaven). Eh, probably nothing. As for Vampire Policeman, he has another plan.
Andre is revealed to be eating a hot dog with the program Scriptwriterpro open.
The next morning Andre awakes to a knock at the door. Who it be? The seductive
voice on the other side replies 21 year old Halle Berry! Andre forms a sleepy smile.

73

Season One Guide:


S01E02 - Experimentation
After the murder of his wife, Vampire Policeman pays Mason a middle of the night visit
for a little interrogation. Masons life is spared on the basis that he never write again.
Unfortunately Andre, with 21 y.o. Halle Berry by his side, has just begun to flex his
universe screenwriting abilities and will not let up. Mason enlists the help of Serena and
Kylie to stop him before Vampire Policeman thinks their deal is broken.
S01E03 - Princessification
Wanting to get in on all the action, Kylie has a date with Destiny Dog. Her first order of
business: right those who wronged her. Second order: her own palace in the middle of
the city. If she cant be queen bee shell be a literal queen! Mason and Andre confront
her about the fakeness of the characters around her, but she wont hear it. That is until
her servants start being brutally murdered by a mysterious intruder. Then its damsel in
distress as the horror gets too real.
S01E04 - Expedition
Off the heals of their last few incidents, Mason, Serena, Andre and Kylie decide to form
a writers group to keep tabs on their abilities. After Andre writes himself into a heroic
sports story, Mason uses his turn as head writer to discover the source of their powers
at the end of a world spanning journey which Kylie suspiciously requests to join.
Meanwhile Andre and Serena take advantage of the absence with a four day Hunter S.
Thompson inspired bender.
S01E05 - Reappropriation
Serena uses up her turn as head writer getting the city high in a The Mist influenced
cloud of weed smoke. Andre visits his crew and cant get over how they shrug off
casual racism. Inspired, Andre reverses ethnic history to give all races a new
perspective. Jay-Zs white, Ben Afflecks asian and Mason and Serena, now seen as
minorities, get taken in on minor charges. Now its up to Andre and Kylie to break them
out of penitentiary.
S01E06 - Flirtation
Milo takes the group deep into the Sahara (a.k.a. his dream dust bath). Upon return
Mason writes a more localized screenplay to coerce the universe into divulging the
secret of their powers. When the script doesnt pan out, him and Milo decide to
investigate the source: The Destiny Dog Factory. Meanwhile Serena and Kylie bond
over who can write the most romantic rom-com. Andre uses his spare time to mess with
all of them.

74

S01E07 - Repetition
Kylie, an avid fan of the film Groundhog Day, writes an episode in a similar vein
unaware shes doomed the group to repeat the same day for eternity/until they become
better people. Andre, being familiar with the concept of the movie, frustratingly sets out
to better himself so the universe will end the cycle. What he doesnt know is that Kylie
is really just resubmitting the same episode so Andre thinks he has to become a better
person. And what Kylie doesnt know is that Mason knows Kylie is resubmitting the
same episode.
S01E08 - Invasion
Andre writes an episode where he saves the earth from invading aliens in a totally
badass way, but ends up looking like bad guy when the group, wanting to understand
the aliens motives, discover the aliens just want to vacation somewhere nice and are
willing to overpay for everything. Serena becomes Earths official Alien-Human
ambassador due to her chill nature. Andre finds an ally in Vampire Policeman (he
doesnt like how the alien breath is garlicky) and plans to frame the aliens so he can be
justified in getting rid of them (did I mention in a seriously badass way).
S01E09 - Notation
As a birthday present to Andre, Mason writes themselves into the script as rockstars so
they have an excuse to hang with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Starstuck, they teach
Chad Smith to write a screenplay for the next day anticipating their wildest episode yet.
Unfortunately Chads fantasy largely incorporates feeding ducks at a pond where
nobody recognizes him. Serena is a huge fan of the peacefulness and encourages it.
Meanwhile Kylie hangs with her musical hero Mozart, only to find hes a bad boy that
uses his piano skills to get laid. Andre and Mason become so bored with Smiths
screenplays they decide to take Chad out of the picture by any means necessary, so
they can get back to writing themselves into adventures.
S01E10 - Corkification
The group prepares for an epic night of shenanigans with Andres crew when a smog of
poison fills the streets, trapping them in Coffeebucks. They find out Kylie had taken it
upon herself to have the city fumigated while they partied but had somehow forgotten to
factor daylight savings time. Realizing theyre part of a bottle episode, the group
decides to get down to the nitty gritty of if what theyre doing is right and their theories
on what exactly is going on.

75

S01E11 - Real Eyezation / Realization / Real Lies-ation


After getting back from an incredible pillow war, Andre starts to act more zen than the
group is used to. Milo delivers the answer in the form of a laptop. Andre has written his
own character out, essentially offing himself. The group confronts him about it and
Andre explains he doesnt know whats real anymore and whats a product of what
theyve made up, so he wants out. The group then writes a very Wonderful Life type
episode to cheer Andre out of his depression, but end up being outsmarted when Andre
points out the flaws in their logic. Luckily another threat looms for Andre to accept his
worth.
S01E12 - Redemption
The consequence for forgetting daylight savings again are steep, claiming Andres life.
The group seeks assistance from the only man/thing they know has been to the afterlife:
Vampire Policeman. Together they plan to infiltrate and extract Andre from the most
secure fortress in the universe: American Heaven.
S01E13 - Abomination
The Group adds blow up heaven before its too late to its list of objectives.

76

Expanded Episode Notes:


Please excuse any grammatical errors and/or character inconsistencies from this point
onward.
Expanded Episode Notes are meant to be a framework around which to fill with each
characters meaty nuances. Each expanded episode maps out the beat and heart of an
installment from which a screenplay can be most easily constructed.

77

S01E02 - Experimentation
Summary:
After accidentally murdering Vampire Policemans wife, Mason arrives home breathless
and ready to rewrite his actions. Unfortunately Vampire Policeman is already in his
room waiting for him (flyings a huge advantage!). So in the interest of staying alive
Mason divulges everything and asks for forgiveness. Oddly enough, hes granted it, on
the condition that he never use his universe scriptwriting abilities again. Mason obliges,
Vampire Policeman takes off and the next day Andre begins to screw up everything.
New to his ability and ready to put it to the test, Andre goes balls to the wall with
experimentation, conjuring 21 y.o. Halle Berry, moon-boots for his crew (the good kind
used in commercials), a book deal, a municipally recognized Andre Day and a party to
fit on the entire top floor of a ritzy downtown hotel. All of which are terrible signifiers to
Vampire Policeman that Mason is holding up his end of the deal.
After noticing several billboards with Andres face and getting a confirmation from
Andres moon-booted crew, Mason decides to put an end to the shenanigans for
everyones safety (but mostly his). He enlists the help of a reluctant Kylie and a gungho, ironically-card-house-building Serena to put an end to it. With an Uber (Landlord in
a new whip) and a short drive, they arrive at the party of the year in downtown Ambee.
Vampire Policeman circles the high-rise like a banshee as fireworks are set off in Andre
Day celebration. Mason, Serena and Kylie slip into the building and take the elevator to
the penthouse. Awaiting them is a party of Gatsby-level praise! Chocolate, cheese and
dust fountains (dust for Milo to twirl in), celebrities, Absurd Hooligan (the Daft Punk of
Scripted) and excess booze and debauchery!
Andre welcomes Serena and Mason (snubs to Kylie) and invites them to join in the
festivities with him and Milo. Mason instead gives him the low down on the deal he
made and how Vampire Policeman might come after him if the party didnt stop. Andre
responds with an unconvincing aloofness and refuses to shut it down. Meanwhile
Serena dives headfirst into the shenanigans... literally... with a keg-stand!
Shortly before midnight Mason gets nervous the party wont end and decides to script it
to at the strike of midnight. When he returns to the party Andre is gone and Vampire
Policeman is floating in through the balcony to perform operation shutdown.
Serena finds Andre on the roof who is looking bummed out tossing a paper airplane.
He admits to acting silly and that he should be there for the friends and family he has.
They return to the party just in time for Andre to save Mason and Kylie and renegotiate
a deal with Vampire Policeman: scripting allowed as long as theres no financial gain.
Walking out the hotel they pass a paper airplane. Milo reads it then catches up to hug
Andre. Its a screenplay midnight Andres parents come back to meet him on the roof.

78

Purpose: Bring the main ensemble of characters closer together while showcasing
more of the Scripted universe and its laws.
TEASER
(1) Mason returns to his apartment having just murdered Vampire Policemans wife. He
rushes past Serena (doing a bong rip) in the living room and seals himself in his room,
collapsing against the door. He catches his breath, gets up and b-lines to his laptop.
!
Vampire Policeman: Interesting. After I kill I usually have a smoke.
Reveal: Vampire Policeman emerges from the shadows near the foot of Masons bed.
He looks menacing as hell.
!
Mason: I can explain everything... well maybe not everything.
Mason, fearing its over anyway, is completely honest, confessing to the abilities, his
screw ups, the misunderstanding and why he thought he needed to take care of
Vampire Policeman. Mason even divulges his theory about them being a part of a
script. A comment that causes Vampire Policemans glare to dissipate.
!
Mason: I think I can write you your wife back...
!
Vampire Policeman: Oh Ill get her back, but you I want indebted to me.
!
Mason: How much do you want? 100000? 200000?
!
Vampire Policeman: Woah woah Im not American University evil I just want
you to never write again... or Ill make you wish death upon yourself, like a bachelor of
arts.
Vampire Policeman states that if he notices anything out of the ordinary going on hell
be forced to conclude Mason has broken their agreement.
!
Vampire Policeman: Hey do you know how to get to Shuter St.?
!
Mason: Down the street, take a right.
!
Vampire Policeman: Thanks, and remember if just one thing is out of the
ordinary...
Vampire Policeman poofs into a bat and flies out the window. Mason breathes a sigh of
relief. Hes safe as long as he goes back to keeping to himself.
(2) [zinger] Smash cut to Andre the next morning inviting 21 y.o. Halle Berry into his
apartment.
ACT 1
(3) Montage of Andre messing around with his new universe screenplay abilities.
Andres selfish desires are similar to Masons but with more of a fame element (ie. hes
on billboards and bus ads, he has a New York Times Bestseller Eat, Swag, Love,
everyone knows him and hes able to get a walk-in table at the fanciest restaurant in the
city while using beanbags as chairs)
(4) Mason, allowed a second chance at life, goes for a stroll on what happens to be a
particularly beautiful day. As he exits his building he notices Landlord has purchased a
beat up 1961 Ferrari GT California and is under the chase working on it. Landlord
emerges covered in grease.

79

!
Landlord: Oh hey Mason! Check it out, pretty neat huh. Figured if I fixed er up I
could give you and Serena lifts to your shenanigans or maybe you know the bank.
!
Mason: Oh wow ya cool, ok gotta go.
!
Landlord (to self): Shouldnt of pushed it Gary, now what are you gonna do with
this?
Model (from the previous episode) walking by approaches the car.
!
Model: I love men with impractical automobiles!
!
Landlord: Hey shoo, Im languishing here.
(5) During Masons walk he starts to notice many of the people hes passing seem to be
overly vocal about interests similar to Andres interests (ie. _____________). Thats
when he walks past a store front selling Andre Day decorations. He stares for a
moment before it clicks. Andre has it now too. And if he isnt stopped soon, Vampire
Policeman might get the wrong idea. Mason dials Andres number. Voicemail.
!
Mason: Niblits! (beep!) Andre call me back right away!
Mason dashes away briefly, then returns to the for a second and quizzically looks in at
another display: Independence Day decorations.
!
Mason: What?! Cmon its February! Are these stores running on their own
calendar!?
(6) Mason pays Andres Crew a visit, a group of highly lovable inner city ballers and
Andres urban influence. Each of them are wearing Moonboots. After inquiring if
Andre stopped by for a little pick up basketball, Andres Crew goes off about how fly he
was looking with the hottie on his arm (they all say a different black actresss name (ie.
Angela Bassett, Jada Pinkett Smith, Rosario Dawson, Pam Grier). They also mention
how he generously got them all Moonboots, and not the one from the department store,
the ones used in commercials that actually work. The smallest of Andres Crew
demonstrates with a dunk from the 3-point line, followed by a rescue of a kitten on a
tree branch and finally a slow motion fence jump to the little girl who owned the kitten on
the other side.
!
Mason: Do you know what Andre has planned for the rest of the day?
!
Andres Crew: Probably something low key, ya low key, uh huh pretty Thors
brother.
!
Mason: Okay good. Low key is good.
(7) Cut to Andre singing, twisting and dancing on a float in his own Andre Day parade
similar to Ferris Buellers Day Off.
ACT 2
(8) Mason meets Kylie at Coffeebucks to discuss whats going on with Andre, but not
before quipping how inconveniently far her work is.
!
Mason: Ugh this place is so far away, if it was even on the map itd be in the
area marked here there be dragons
!
Kylie: Its not that far!

80

Mason begins to explain everything thats happened and we TIME DISSOLVE to him
wrapping up his concerns.
!
Mason: Feels so good to get this information out, Ive never understood why
superheroes keep it all pent up... makes good drama I guess.
!
Kylie: well youve certainly gotten more creative since the break up. Maybe if
you had applied that in bed wed still be together.
!
Mason: What!? Ok first off hold on, what! Maybe I would have been more
innovative had you given me any sort of control. I basically had to ask your permission
to get erect, and secondly Im not making this up. (to self) Thats right this is why
superheroes dont do it. (to Kylie) I know how much you loathe cliches. And dismissing
me as crazy would be the most cliche thing you could do right now.
Kylie remarks how Andre came in the other week saying similar things about Mason
then reluctantly agrees to reserve her judgement until Mason can prove his arguments.
(9) Mason passes more billboards and bus ads with Andres face.
!
Mason: How did she not see these? Its like using internet explorer in real life!
Mason nervously checks the sky, worried he may run into Vampire Policeman and his
excuses wont suffice.
(10) Cut to Mason and Serenas apartment where Serena is building card towers on a
bed of even more cards. Mason enters and consoles in her whats going on.
!
Serena: So basically all of these flimsy things in your life are stacking up and
any moment could become disastrous. Hmm... I wish I was better at metaphors.
(beat) as we hold on a shot of her and the playing card towers.
!
Serena: Oh I got it! I totally know where he is. Keep your jacket on Ill get us an
Uber!
(11) Cut to Andre in the penthouse of a skyscraper similar to the largest of Kylies card
towers. The light is dying and him and Milo are throwing the wildest party you can
imagine. The party is DJd by two men in strange robot helmets: Absurd Hooligan (play
on Daft Punk). Theres a chocolate fountain, a cheese fountain and a dust fountain.
The night is about to get wild. Andre holds tight a single sheet of paper, breathing in
deeply as he reads from it. 21 y.o. Halle Berry approaches Andre exhausted holding his
phone. Andre pockets the paper.
!
21 y.o. Halle Berry: Finally answered all 700 of your voicemails-
!
Andre: Ooo ya might have made myself a little too popular.
!
21 y.o. Halle Berry: Well all except one from a guy named Mason.
!
Andre: Oh damn, meant to send him and Serena invite texts earlier. Im sure
they havent been sweating it.
(12) Cut to Mason and Serena waiting for their Uber (Mason sweating like crazy).
Mason has a shoulder bag slung around him.
!
Mason: Ok but for real where are we headed-
Landlords 1961 Ferrari GT California pulls up, now looking bright, shiny and new.
!
Landlord: Hop in!
!
Serena: Were waiting on an Uber!

81

!
!
!
!

Landlord: Thats me! Just joined today!


Serena: But your cars a two seater.
Landlord: Im sure you two dont mind squishing.
Mason: See thats the thing, its not just us two its-

(13) Cut to shot of Landlord, Serena, Mason and Kylie cramped into the car. Kylie sits
on Masons lap. Each look incredibly uncomfortable. Awkward silence.
!
Kylie: Swear to god if youre making all this up...
!
Mason (sarcastically): Landlord careful you dont accidentally put the breaks on
too quickly, sending Kylie through the windshield.
Back to awkward silence.
(14) Cut to Serena, Kylie and Mason on the street below Andres penthouse. They
watch as fireworks are set off from the balcony. Vampire Policeman circles above like a
banshee. Mason looks nervous.
!
Mason: Serena how did you know?
!
Serena: Andre and I are on the same wavelength. (beat) Also the text we got on
the way over with the address. I originally had us going to the baseball game at
Dentyne Field (play on Wrigley Field). Ha imagine that.
ACT 3
(15) Andre (with Milo on his shoulder and a bottle of Roosnessey [play on Hennessey]
in his hand) welcomes Serena and Mason to his party, snubbing Kylie. They exchange
glares. Mason informs Andre he has to stop everything or Vampire Policeman will kill
him (Mason).
!
Andre (slightly slurred): Hey dont worry, I have a plan for that, tonight (hic)
tonight check out how famous I am!- oh snap is that swordfish tartare!?
Andre abandons the group for a tray of appetizers being carried by him. Mason gets
the feeling that Andre isnt going to listen to a word hes saying. Meanwhile Vampire
Policeman still circles outside.
(16) Cut to a few hours later, things are even crazier and Andre is still ignoring Masons
requests. Andres Crew are there now (in Moonboots), the smallest of whom swings
from the chandelier by his jersey (perhaps was caught when jumping too high). Andre
is still the most popular man in the room, hanging out with the likes of Samuel L.
Jackson, Tom Hanks and Flava Flav. Serena has joined the festivities while Mason and
Kylie keep to their sobriety.
!
Kylie: Okay chocolate and cheese I get, but dust?
!
Mason: Ya that ones for Milo, for some reason the dirtier things get, the cleaner
chinchillas get.
Milo twirls around in the dust fountain with utter glee.
!
Kylie: Must suck for PETA when they throw paint on that fur then huh.
Mason gives her a what the fuck look.
!
Kylie: What!? That was a joke!
Flava Flav walks by and Mason gets a glimpse of the time: 11:52pm. He realizes
theres only so much time to act on the nuclear option and grabs Serena and Kylie.

82

(17) The three of them enter an empty bedroom.


!
Kylie: Okay were not having a threesome Mason. I dont care how much time
you have left to live.
!
Serena (pretty drunk): Im in, but if we do it Im gonna have to ask that you never
look me in the eye again while were roommates.
Mason ignores, takes out his laptop and types into it. He swivels it around.
!
Mason: This is the reason were here.
Scriptmakerpro is open. The template says At midnight everything Andre wrote goes
away, things return to normal.
(18) Mason, Serena and Kylie exit into the still bustling party, but Andre and Milo are
nowhere to be found. Serena splits off again (presumably to find more booze). Thats
when Vampire Policeman enters through the balcony and cuts the music.
!
Absurd Hooligan (irritated): cela a t exagre!
Vampire Policeman puts his own spin on the Jokers party scene from The Dark Knight.
!
Vampire Policeman: Where is Har- where is Mason _____?
(19) Cut to Andre and Milo on the roof looking out at the city. Milo nuzzles against
Andre drunkenly when the rooftop door swings open.
!
Serena: Found ya!
Andre jumps with excitement, but is let down when he sees its Serena.
!
Andre: Sorry I just thought you were someone else. How did you know Id be up
here?
!
Serena: Same wavelength I guess.
(20) Quick shot of Serena entering the swimming pool room a minute earlier (her first
guess).
!
Serena: Found ya! Oh. Hmm...
(21) Back to Scene. Andre begins to fold his piece of paper into an airplane.
!
Serena: So whats going on with you?
Andre confesses he was acting like a bit of a self-centered jerk all night. He tosses the
airplane off the building.
!
Serena: Well at least no one was hurt.
(22) Cut to the party room where the last of the guests are fleeing in terror. Vampire
Policeman holds 21 y.o. Halle Berry out the edge of a broken window (ala The Dark
Knight). One of Andres Crew still hangs from the chandelier and Mason and Kylie glare
down Vampire Policeman.
!
Kylie: Let her go.
Mason turns his glare to Kylie.
(23) Shot of Serenas card tower randomly collapsing.

83

(24) Serena gets chills. Andre admits his irrational side got the best of him and that
real friends and family cant be conjured. Serena convinces him and Milo to come back
down to the party.
(25) Vampire Policeman is now holding Kylie out the window.
!
Kylie (to Mason): What!? I never saw the movie! I didnt know thats what
happens! I swear to god if you say the same thing-
Andre, Serena and Milo arrive.
!
Andre: Bring her back inside, we can work this out.
Andre explains to Vampire Policeman that he has the ability to screenwrite the universe
as well and that everything was his fault. Embarrassed by the whole murdering 21 y.o.
Halle Berry thing, Vampire Policeman agrees to settle on new terms at a later date.
(26) Cut to Mason, Kylie, Serena, Andre and Milo walking out the tower lobby. Milo
spots Andres paper airplane on the ground and hangs back to unfold and read it. After
finishing he hops back to the group, climbs Andre and snuggles against his head.
!
Andre: Love you Milo.
Reveal: On the paper airplane is typed out:
EXT - ROOF - MIDNIGHT
Andres mom and dad come back into his life to celebrate Andre Day.
(Homages: Ferris Buellers Day Off, The Dark Knight)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Real friendships cant be conjured, theyre earned and have to be nurtured.
(2) Sometimes letting go is the best answer youll get to the question that
plagues you.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Eat, Swag, Love books
(+) Andres crews moonboots
(+) Landlords 1961 Ferrari GT California

84

S01E03 - Princessification
Summary:
Milo helps Mason pack things from his relationship with Kylie as Andre and Serena
banter from the next room about potential dangers of their powers and how theyll need
to be careful the next time they use them. Meanwhile Kylie has acquired powers and is
using them to exact revenge on the so-called-friends that abandoned her when she
became poor (ex. turning a stable-girls favorite horse into a freedom craving pegasus).
In an effort to keep his friend from relation-lapsing Andre escorts Mason to Kylies
parents house while Serena and Milo play The Floor is Lava! However Mason is
thrown off when Kylies parents act robotic and refuse to take in her things. To the
Coffeebucks to give it to her face to face then? Elsewhere Serena and Milo notice
Landlord up to some suspicious body bag dragging activities.
Mason and Andre arrive at the Coffeebucks to find Kylie no longer works there and that
neither have her number saved in their phones. Dead end. That is until a pegasus
glides by and leads them right to a palace smack dab in the middle of Ambi City.
The palace is enormous, surrounded by a moat full of narwhals and guarded by knights.
Perched on a balcony is the pegasus alongside Kylie. It is as ridiculous as it sounds.
And shes allowed to do it because she never made the finances deal with Vampire
Policeman. Kylie grants Andre and Mason entry to drop off her things, but before
leaving Mason has a few choice words for her about not earning her friends. She does
not enjoy them. Serena and Milo watch as Landlord departs with a trailer on his car.
As Andre and Mason abandon the palace, Landlords car and trailer roll in behind them.
Kylie is about to slip into bed when she notices beneath her covers is a severed
pegasus head! She makes her way into the corridor to find her palace workers have
been murdered in the most cliche ways possible.
Ushered back to the palace by a panicked Kylie, Mason and Andre spot Landlord
leaving, then witness the horror now inside the palace. After a call from Mason, Serena
and Milo investigate Landlords apartment for signs of serial killing, but are caught when
Landlord finds them rooting around his shrubbery products.
With Landlord out of the picture the newly teamed up Kylie, Mason and Andre try to
think of ways to outsmart the cliche murderer theyre locked in the palace with.
Ultimately theyll have to sacrifice Kylie. She objects. Meanwhile Serena and Milo race
to the palace to assist them by setting up a yoga studio in the main chamber.
Vampire Policeman discovers the trio cowering in a closet then shows them Serena
teaching the murderer yoga. Its Bank Robber and it turns out he just needed to feel
one with the universe. The group leaves, Kylie agrees to the financial limit deal and
Vampire Policeman takes on Bank Robber as his new deputy for a job well done.

85

Purpose: To develop Kylies character, justify her presence in the series and push
through the necessary plot to set up the series for non-serialized episodes.
TEASER
(1) Mason, Serena, Milo and Andre gather around Mason and Serenas apartment to
discuss their screenwriting powers and the potential dangers of their actions. Intercut
with their conversation is a montage of rich-looking girls getting their comeuppance (ie.
rich girl obsessed with hair uses shampoo in shower only to find out its Nair, rich girl
obsessed with a CARRIAGE [in the same font as COACH bags] discovers every
homeless man in the city wears the fashion, rich girl obsessed with horses goes to her
stable to find hers has been turn to a pegasus which is flying away)
!
Serena: Well at least its only the two of you.
(2) [zinger] Cut to Kylie eating a hot dog and marking Xs across the faces of richlooking girls (presumably old friends) in a group picture with her.
ACT 1
(3) Mason has finally gotten around to packing up Kylies things from their relationship
(ie. dvds [Erin Brockovich and Juno], date itinerary, panties with the words Friday
Night, second pair of panties with the words Saturday Morning) so that there is
closure. After packing each item he lets out heavy sighs.
!
Serena: Remember the dick twisting Mason!
!
Andre: Then let that memory trigger all the other bad ones! Only reason exes
get back together is because its human nature to repress them. Also why people
continue to eat ghost peppers.
!
Serena: Wait...
!
Andre: Theyre a type of pepper, not a pepper with unfinished pepper business
that has come back as a ghost Serena.
After a little more banter Kylies things are packed and ready to go. Serenas doing
yoga in the living room.
!
Andre (to Serena): Im gonna go with Mason and make sure he doesnt relapse.
You mind watching Milo for a bit?
Serena purposely kicks over a plant spilling dirt on the floor. Milo dashes over and
starts twirling in it.
!
Serena (smiling): Well manage.
(4) Mason (holding cardboard box of Kylies things) and Andre make their way through
the city discussing what they should do with their powers. In the background billboards
and bus ads with Andres face are being covered or redone with new ads. As well, the
homeless are much better dressed than usual, sporting CARRIAGE bags. Mason and
Andre are too wrapped up in their conversation to notice.
(5) Serena and Milo play the floor is lava. Serena sets the stakes.
!
Serena: Cant stay in the same place for more than 30 seconds and first one to
touch the ground is Masons new girlfriend!

86

(6) Andre and Mason arrive at Kylies parents house (an enormous mansion). Her
parents act strangely robotic when answering the door and seem to have nothing but
praise for their daughter. When inquiring about whether Mason could leave Kylies
things at their place, they simply shake their heads and slowly close the door.
Something doesnt add up.
(7) The apartment is practically turned inside out. Furniture is upside down, paintings
and posters ripped from walls. Milo crouches on top of the fridge and Serena hangs
from the ceiling fan. They stare each other down. Milo makes his move and wall jumps
several times eventually landing on a window sill with nowhere else to go.
!
Serena: Checkmate.
The ceiling fan shes on starts to rotate.
!
Serena: You didnt.
He did. And after several increasingly speedy rotations Serena is flung from the
apparatus to the floor beneath Milos windowsill. Milo hops up and down jubilantly.
!
Serena: Best two out of- thats weird.
Outside Landlord is lifting what looks to be a full body bag, from the trunk of his 1961
Ferrari GT California in the ally. He looks around suspiciously then goes on to drag it
into his basement apartment. Serena and Milo look at each other.
!
Serena: Okaayyyy... so this time I get to start on the counter and you have to
start on the couch!
(8) Andre and Mason drop by Coffeebucks expecting either Kylie to be there or to be
able to drop off her things so she can pick them up her next shift. A hipster in the
background reads from Eat, Swag, Love. More quips about how inconveniently far the
place is.
!
Andre: Pretty sure every trip to this place counts as marathon training.
The bad news is, Kylie no longer works at the Coffeebucks. Mason and Andre exit.
!
Mason: Do I just bring this stuff back to my place?
!
Andre: Burn it.
!
Mason: Im not-
Something in the sky catches Masons eye.
!
Mason: Hey the other day did you write a pegasus into your screenplay?
!
Andre: No. Whyyyy?
Mason points into the sky and they decide to follow the mythical beast until it lands.
(9) As the pegasus dives Mason and Andre finally spot what Kylie has been up to:
creating a palace in the middle of downtown over which she rules as queen princess so
that everyone is forced to like her. It is as overkill as it sounds
ACT 2
(10) Mason and Andre approach the palaces moat. It is filled with Narwhals (whales
with a single horn-like tusk protruding from their head). Kylie watches them from the
castles main balcony.

87

!
Andre (to Kylie): You know they arent dangerous!
!
Kylie: I dont care I think theyre cute!
!
Andre (to draw bridge guards): Will you let that down for us please.
The guard looks up to Kylie who glares at him. He then offers an apologetic shrug to
Mason and Andre as if to say what can I do.
!
Mason: Please Kylie, I have your stuff.
Mason gestures to the box hes holding.
!
Kylie: Fine.
The draw bridge begins to lower.
!
Andre (to guard): Whats your hourly?
!
Guard: Your highnesss love and affection of course.
!
Andre: That put food on the table?
Guard gives a look like I better not say anything. Andre slips him a twenty dollar bill.
!
Andre: Take your other guard buddy and go get some burgers in you aight.
The draw bridge finally settles and Mason and Andre begin to cross.
(11) Serena lying breathless on the floor again.
!
Serena: Best 14 out of 27... Milo?
Milo is staring out the window again. In the ally below Landlord is carrying a rather
large pouch with him back to his car. He stumbles and drops it to the ground. Out spills
all sort of corkscrews, hacksaws and knives.
!
Serena: Okay I think it might be time to get the police involved.
Serena disappears from frame. Dont stand so! Dont stand so! Dont stand so close
to me! Reveal: Serena holding the vinyl album cover to a Police Record (doesnt
matter which one). Her and Milo have their own little dance party.
(12) Mason and Andre enter the main chamber of the palace. Servants upon servants
line the walk way to the throne, separated each by shrubberies. Instead of elevated, the
throne is sunk into the ground in a pillow pit.
!
Mason: Thats so impractical!
!
Kylie: Not cliche though!
!
Andre: She got you there.
!
Kylie: You can leave the box right there and get out.
Mason drops the box and him and Andre start to leave. Mason pauses on the way out.
!
Mason: No.
He turns around and calls her out on how fake everyone around her is and how its
pretty much the last episode all over again.
!
Mason: Watch this. Go get yourself a sandwich man.
Mason hands a servant some cash. They take it and scamper out of the hall.
!
Servant: Oh thank god I was so hungry.
Andre tries to calm Mason down. Its not worth it. Its a waste of time. Theres no
threat like there was last time. Kylie retorts stating theyre wrong and she has all the
friends shell ever need in the servants around her.
(13) Serena and Milo continue their dance party while Landlord hooks a trailer up to his
car and drives off.

88

(14) Andre and Mason cross the draw bridge as the light dies and start to make their
way home. The draw bridge remains down as the guards who were supposed to be at
their posts are off somewhere eating tasty burgers. A moment later Landlords car and
trailer cross it and into the palace. Cue eerie music.
(15) Kylie, now in a silk robe, mutters to herself in her bedroom about how wrong
Mason and Andre are. She opens her cardboard box and pulls out the panties that say
Friday Night on them.
!
Kylie: Oh thank god I dont have to wear these any longer then I need to.
Kylie opens up her robe and beneath it shes wearing a bra and panties. Shes
gesturing to the panties shes wearing which say Friday Afternoon. She looks at
Friday Night again.
!
Kylie: They could use a wash though. Ill just go Sharon Stone tonight.
Kylie drops her Friday Afternoons to the ground and makes her way to bed. As she
lifts her bedsheets up she lets out a shriek. Lying on her bed is the severed head of her
pegasus.
(16) Montage as a shadowy figure begins to murder Kylies servants in incredibly cliche
ways (ie. washroom medicine cabinet mirror jump scare kill, blood from mouth when
stabbed anywhere, the ol tripping when being chased by the killer, cat scare then
murder, the split up and each get murdered, all your tropes)
(17) Cut to Mason and Andre walking back through the city.
!
Mason: Ugh my hands are all raw from carrying that stupid box all day.
!
Andre: Ah man thats the worst.
ACT 3
(18) Kylie has no cell reception in her room (stupid stone!) so she must find somewhere
she can get bars. She carefully exits her room and tip toes down one of the palaces
hallways, stepping over one dead servant after the next. She thinks she sees
something in the shadows and ducks into a closet. Through the crack in the door she
spots a shadowy figure creep by. This is it. Shes gonna die here. She pulls out her
phone and it has full bars.
!
Kylie (whispering): What!? (looking around at the densely compact stoneencompassing space shes in) How do I have full reception now! Ill never understand
this technology!
Kylie dials 911. It rings... it rings... and Vampire Policeman picks up.
!
Vampire Policeman (OS)(menacingly): Helllllo?
Kylie hangs up, balls her fists, then calls Mason.
(19) Cut to Mason and Andre. Masons on the phone.
!
Mason (to phone): Uh huh, yes, ok well be right there.
Mason hangs up the phone, shuts eyes and squeezes the bridge of his nose.
!
Mason: We have to go back.
!
Andre: Is it for an apology?

89

!
Mason: No Im pretty sure shes started to murder her servants out of
frustration.
(20) Mason and Andre approach the unguarded draw bridge. As they do Landlords car
and trailer blast by them into the city. Strange... Mason gives Serena a call.
!
Mason: Hey do you know if Landlord is home?
!
Serena (OS): (Dont stand so! Dont Stand so! Dont stand so close to me!)
(21) Serena lifts the needle from the record so she can hear Mason on the phone.
!
Serena: Uh huh, uh huh, ya we can check. Whaaaaat? Dude is totally not a...
oh wait. Ok ya, no I totally see it now. Yep Ill let ya know. Bye!
Serena hangs up her cell and turns to Milo.
!
Serena: Wanna catch a serial killer and maybe help Serena nab a month of free
rent?
Milo exuberantly hops up and down.
(22) Serena and Milo, dressed in matching black turtlenecks, are outside Landlords
door. Serena jiggles the handle but its locked. Her and Milo spot an open window, just
big enough for a chinchilla.
!
Serena: Floor is lava Milo!
Milo leaps from her shoulder, enters the window and a moment later the door creaks
open. He hangs from the doorknob. Serena enters and closes the door
!
Serena: Lets check this place out... balls, wheres the light switch!
(23) Mason and Andre step over multiple bodies as they make their way deeper into the
palace.
!
Andre: This is starting to feel like something we should have brought weapons
for.
!
Mason: For the record I was really not putting my money on there being actual
murders. And if its anybody its Landlord who we just saw fleeing the scene.
!
Andre: I dunno man look at these cuts. It looks like everyone was killed in pretty
cliche manners. I think the killer might still be-
!
Mason: And Serena just confirmed its Landlord.
Mason holds up the text on his phone from Serena: Landlord is definitely the serial
killer. They relax. Nothing to worry about.
!
Mason (shouting): Hey Kylie! You can come out! Its Mason and Andre! Serial
killer is gone!
Kylie bursts from a closet and into Andre and Masons arms.
!
Kylie (emotional): Oh my god thank you so much, who was it?
!
Mason: Believe it or not my Landlord.
!
Kylie (serious face): Wait... how do you know that?
Mason looks to Andre who makes a gesture like be my guest, explain away.
!
Mason: Ah well lets just find out.
Mason calls Serena.
!
Serena (OS) (whispering/irritated): What!
!
Mason: How do you know Landlords a serial killer?

90

Serena (OS): Because hes unloading the bodies from his trailer right now!

(24) Serena and Milo are trapped inside Landlords still pitch black apartment, watching
him from the window.
!
Mason (OS): And you can see the bodies?
!
Serena (irritated): No theyre all in body bags!
Landlord finishes unloading the trailer and begins to drag the first body bag up to his
door. Serena hangs up the phone and reaches around for a weapon. She grabs
something and brings it up to the window light! Its a pair of sheers. She gets ready for
when Landlord comes through the door.
(25) Cut back to Mason, Andre and Kylie.
!
Mason: And there you ha-
!
Andre: You idiot.
!
Mason: Wha-
!
Kylie: The killer clearly didnt take any bodies with him. (gestures to murdered
corpses around them)
!
Andre (to Kylie): What- no- hey! I solved this one first.
!
Mason: What are you talking about?
!
Andre: Do we have to-
!
Kylie: Spell it out.
(26) Serena and Milo prepare themselves as the doorknob starts to jiggle. This is it!
Serena raises her sheers and Milo covers his eyes. Then suddenly the inside lights turn
on! Blinding Serena! What the? The doors not even open, how could he?
!
Landlord (cheerfully): Oh hey Serena, hey Milo! Whatcha doin in my abode?
Landlord is peeking through the window at them. Serena looks around. The apartment
is filled with shruberries from the palace, some poke halfway out of body bags that were
clearly used to transport them. It looks as if Landlord has been sculpting them.
(27) Andre glares at Kylie for cutting him off then takes out his notepad and marks a
tally under the Andre was right column.
!
Mason: So wait that means the killer is still in here?
A shadowy figure brandishing a machete poses wide-stance at the end of the hallway.
Not having any weapons, Kylie, Andre and Mason run.
(28) Cut to Landlord dragging a shrubbery into his apartment.
!
Landlord: Oh bet youre wondering about the light. I keep the switch on the
outside so I can see if theres any serial killers inside the apartment before I enter, pretty
silly huh.
!
Serena (still shocked): I always thought it was a doorbell.
!
Landlord: Nope. Your friend Kylies very nice too, she commissioned me to trim
some of her hedges for her. [chuckles] Of course I dont mean that in the way you
ladys sometimes do on a friday night.
Milo tugs on Serenas pant leg. He looks terrified. Serena realizes why. It means the
killer is still at the palace.

91

Serena: Landlord can you give us a ride?

(29) Kylie, Mason and Andre hide in a closet pressed up against each other.
!
Andre (whispers): Oh god. Kylie are not wearing underwear? I think my phone
just got stuck.
!
Kylie (irritated/shaky/whisper): It certainly did, because its starting to vibrate.
A shadowy figure passes the door and they shut up.
(30) Serena is in the passengers seat of Landlords car trying to get a hold of Andre to
no avail. They pass over the draw bridge and into the palace.
(31) The killer is onto another area of the palace so Andre takes the time to run Mason
and Kylie through who the murderer is (because hes the only one that could have
figured it out).
!
Andre [monologue to be chopped and screwed]: Vampire Policeman had a
Destiny Dog and is able to screenwrite now too. How? I dont know, but hes the only
one who would have written someone so evil. He wrote the character to start taking
each of us out as a means of bringing order to the world and a revenge. Kylie I believe
he started with you because he blames you for screwing up his deal with Mason, but it
was always his intention to get us all cornered like this. It seems Vampire Policemans a
terrible writer because his murders full of cliches. Therefore the only one who can kill
him is...
!
Mason: The final girl.
!
Andre: Thats right, which means...
!
Kylie: Uh uh you guys are not leaving me alone in here with a psychopath!
!
Mason: Well-
The closet door flies open! Standing in the frame is Vampire Policeman with a grin
across his face.
(32) Elsewhere in the palace the shadowy figure with a machete is about to walk into
the main chamber. He pauses in the doorway. In the middle of the room Serena and
Milo are doing yoga on cushions from the pillow pit. There are no shrubberies in the
room anymore.
!
Serena: Oh hey! You wanna join? Really makes you feel at one with the
universe.
(33) Cut back to Mason, Kylie, Andre and Vampire Policeman.
!
Vampire Policeman: Someone need rescuing?
Vampire Policeman leads the cautiously optimistic trio to the balcony overlooking the
main chamber.
!
Vampire Policeman: Your friends already caught him.
Below Serena and Milo can be seen doing yoga with none other than Bank Robber (the
character Mason created in the pilot).
!
Vampire Policeman: It seems he has trouble deciding between his purpose
(cliches) or being an individual (original). All he wanted was to feel at one with the
universe. Ill find a way to deal with him. Thank you for catching my killer.

92

(34) Mason, Serena, Milo, Kylie and Andre all lay emotionally exhausted in the back of
Landlords trailer. He pulls away from the palace and heads home. The group decides
that from now on if theyre going to script the universe they should do it as a team.
!
Kylie: So wait am I missing something or how did the Bank Robber dude end up
at my palace in the first place?
(35) Cut to Vampire Policeman and Bank Robber in the main chamber.
!
Vampire Policeman: You did excellently! Ha ha! I dont even care that you
murdered me, that was an outstanding performance... deputy.
Vampire Policeman tosses Bank Robber a badge.
!
Bank Robber: Yolo.
Wide shot of the room full of dead servants.
(Homages: Horror Movies)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Real friendships cant be conjured, theyre earned and have to be nurtured.
(2) No one is exactly who they seem.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Homeless all have CARRIAGE brand bags
(+) City center now with palace
(+) Shrubberies in Mason and Serenas Alley
(+) Draw bridge guards
(+) Moat narwhals
!

93

S01E04 - Expedition
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

94

Purpose: To set up the structure of the series, the group dynamic and expand on the
classes of people and rules within Scripteds universe. To close the potential will they
wont they between Kylie and Mason before the trope sets in.
TEASER
(1) Were under the Friday Night Lights at what is perhaps the most important football
game ever (dramatically speaking). Theres time left on the clock for one more play.
Two seas of contrasting jersey colour fill the bleachers competing for the loudest roar.
The rain comes down hard smearing their face paints and makeup.
!
Head Coach: We need a miracle to win-
!
Quarterback: My middle name.
!
Head Coach: If we dont get a touchdown on this play the whole teams season
long story arcs wont mean anything. If theres nothing to validate their growth how will
we tangibly measure their journey!?
!
Quarterback: I got this coach.
Reveal: Andre in full football gear. He reassuredly pats his coachs shoulder, then jogs
out to his team in the field. They huddle up before their last play.
!
Andre: Okay this is it, the most important moment of our forever young lives.
After this its before and after the glory days that is how well label time. Tim do this for
your baby born out of wedlock whose gonna have a hero to look up to if he ever gets
over that baby cancer. John do this for your alcoholic step-father who tried his best to
raise you despite all your abusive alcoholic teachers. Cameron do this for your
paraplegic parrot who couldnt care less about a cracker and just wants to see you
finally happy... (etc.).
Andre and his team break from huddle and get into formation. The other team is literally
twice the size of them. In fact the scores being so close is surely an impossibility.
!
Andre: Sue-Zero-One! Ee-Zero-Four! Hut hut!
The ball snaps into Andres grasp and he drops back as the linemen hold their barricade
and the receivers punch through and into their routes. Unfortunately theres no one to
pitch to. Each defensive back from the other team is large enough to block out the sun.
Not that it matters, a hail marry was never the plan.
!
Andre (to self): Four-One-Thousand, Five-One-Thousand... and go.
Andre brings down the ball and tucks it into himself. Hes going to run it.
!
Andre: Ok left deke, right deke, jump.
A troglodyte of a human leaps at him, missing narrowly as Andre steps left. Another
monster dives, Andre bounces right. Theres a jump and a meteorite comparable
athlete scrapes out a small gully as he slides beneath Andre. Two players bullet
towards him at once, ricocheting off each other. Hes almost there! Just one player
between him and the end zone. And as Andre refocuses his vision he sees him. The
enemys last line of defense is 9 feet tall, a goliath. His veins have veins. His muscles
have veins. His hair is veins. This dude really just has amazing circulation. All of his
gear is sponsored by Anabolic Steroids The Company. All of his foes are crippled with
lupus. Andre draws near and Goliath snarls. The crowd hold their breath. Andres
Crew in the stands cover their mouths. What happens next will surely be epi- CRASH!

95

A bolt of lightning takes out the leviathan and Andre walks the ball into the end zone and
the crowd erupts in joy for a fraction of a second because we...
(2) [zinger] Smash Cut to Andre covered in awards in the Coffeebucks as people
approach him nervously to ask for his autograph on the cover of their copy of his issue
of Athletics Illustrated. He happily scribbles his initials on them all. We pan over and
Milo is similarly covered in ribbons and medals with a sharpie in his mouth signing
copies of Chinchilla Athletics Illustrated. Serena and Kylie sit across from it all rolling
their eyes, Mason reads from the magazine.
!
Mason: Awwww it says here that Camerons parrot learned to walk again...
really gives you hope huh.
ACT 1
(3) The last fan thanks Andre for his autograph and the group begins to extrapolate on
the offscreen arrangement they made for their writers system. The system being that
the five of them are to write together with a rotating head writer (the one who actually
writes the screenplays and makes the final calls). They also take one day off between
every screenplay they write. So for example:
Day 1: The Group meets to discuss the screenplay for the next day and Andre is head
writer who writes the script and makes all the final calls, including concept.
Day 2: Andres screenplay plays out and The Group has their adventure.
Day 3: The Group meets to discuss the screenplay for the next day and this time Mason
is head writer who writes the script and makes all the final calls, including concept.
Day 4: Masons screenplay plays out and The Group has their adventure.
Day 5: And so forth through the group until were back to Andre
This will ensure scripts dont overlap and jumble the universe and everyone gets their
equal input. Andre, being the most skilled writer, will write Serena and Milos
screenplays for them as both have not eaten a Destiny Dog yet.
The group also discusses how it seems any character who is told theyre part of a
scripted reality can no longer be scripted (ex. After Mason told Andre about the buffering
in the pilot he could no longer be written for because he knew he was a character.
Thats why later in the episode the money in Andres pocket didnt add up to the amount
Mason had scripted. Andre was no longer a scriptable character).
For the characters in Scripteds universe, everything that happens to them [ex. aliens,
zombies, dirty laundry monsters] is a completely real and/or normal possibility because
each screenplay rewrites the laws of that universe to make it possible. It is only when
the characters are made aware their universe is part of a script that they become
detached from it and able to witness the strangeness of the changes in its laws. They
become viewers. This is why Kylie doesnt believe Mason in the second episode. She
hadnt been told the universe was a sham yet (not even in Andres sit down with her).
To her everything that was happening (from zombies to vampires to Andres celebrity)
was run of the mill reality. Its only when Mason lets her in on the secret that she

96

becomes unlocked: a viewer. And finally with a bite of a certain Destiny Dog you
become a writer. A being thats able to write scripts for characters that can be seen by
viewers.
So heres the breakdown as understood by The Group so far:
Characters - Are the people and things that populate the scripts. To them whatever is
in the script is reality. They believe every word and concept whether it be that the world
is run by a noodle monster or made from candy. It doesnt matter that yesterday
everything was medieval themed. The reality they accept is that everything is possible.
Viewers - Are characters that have been detached from reality. Whatever stop they got
off at on the script train is where they began observing reality. Everything on the tracks
before that point is gospel to them. That WAS their reality. And it is their choice
whether or not to believe that parts of it were scripted. In fact the only thing that could
make a viewer question their past is if another viewer (or writer) who got off at an
earlier stop on the script train let them in that hey that noodle monster... I scripted
that / it was scripted into reality. A nice parallel would be Morpheus explaining to Neo
that his entire life had been programmed up unto the point he was unplugged from The
Matrix.
Once a viewer is off the script train they are able to witness changes be made to
reality. For instance if one day the whole world started grabbing each others boobs as
the new standard of greeting, a viewer would recognize that it used to be a hand shake
and someone is messing around. But for the characters their reality is that the earthwide switch to boob grabbing is totally normal. A viewer is able to discern what
impossibility or unlikelihood was made possible.
Writers - Are characters or viewers that have had a bite of a certain hot dog from the
special Destiny Dog cart run by the Silhouette Man. They share all the same properties
as viewers, but are also able to script reality. Writers do this by typing out their
screenplay into a scriptwriting program and at midnight their screenplay disappears
from their template and becomes reality. A writer is able to make the unlikely or the
impossible into the possible.
The Group has no idea why they were chosen to be writers, but whats apparent is they
definitely were chosen and more people could be as well. So figuring out the motives of
the Destiny Dogs Silhouette Man are crucial... to Mason at least.
(4) Luckily hes up next to be head writer. He lets the group know hes going to sleep
on it and they can discuss it tomorrow at their pre-episode meeting, but whatever
concept he comes up with will reveal some answers. Andre, Serena and Milo decide to
go to out partying. Mason heads home. Kylie is the last to leave. Shes got her job
back at Coffeebucks and has to close up

97

(5) Kylie arrives at her new apartment. It is run down and completely devoid of
furniture and possesions, save for her wardrobe exploding from her tiny closet. She
sighs and collapses into the pile using it as a bed. Kylie tosses and turns a little before
realizing shes not going to fall asleep. She gets up and stares at the pile. Her
insomnia isnt because the pile is uncomfortable, its because piling her clothes like that
isnt her. She starts to arrange her outfits on the floor.
(6) Time Dissolve to Kylies entire wardrobe laid out before her in matching outfits,
styles, colours and uses. Shes stripped down to just her bra and panties and her sight
line is drawn to the underwear on the ground, lined up from Monday-Sunday (Morning,
Afternoon, Night). There are four pairs missing. The Sunday Night because shes
wearing them and Friday Afternoon + Friday Night + Saturday Morning. She
realizes those are still at the palace from the previous episode.
(7) Mason walking home through the city at night. A limo passes with Serena, Milo and
Andre partying out the top. They dont notice Mason as theyre presumably wasted and
having the time of their life. Mason chuckles then notices a homeless guy using a
CARRIAGE bag for money donations. Hes propped against a building reading Eat,
Swag, Love (Andres book [no longer a bestseller]).
!
Mason: Hey is that any good?
!
Homeless Dude (grumbly voice): Ya man makes me feel like a butterfly breaking
from my cocoon.
(8) Kylie (fully dressed again) approaches the draw bridge of her palace, which it
seems Vampire Policeman has turned into the new Police Headquarters.
(9) Inside the palace has been modernized. In fact if it werent for the slugline in the
title card you wouldnt be able to tell its the same palace. Police people, secretaries
and drones stride by with purpose. Kylie makes her way to the main chamber.
(10) Inside the main chamber Vampire Policeman has converted the throne and pillow
pit into a 360 degree office desk which he is able to levitate into and out the center of.
Bank Robber stands at attention to right.
!
Kylie: Oh hey Vampire Policeman.
!
Vampire Policeman: Kylie what a pleasant surprise! Just so youre aware it is
Vampire Police Chief now.
!
Kylie: Oh wow, um arent there like a lot of steps between Officer and Chief?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well lets just say the spot opened up after a few
accidents...
Kylie glances at Bank Robber. She understands the subtext.
!
Kylie: Whats he still doing here?
Vampire Police Chief floats out of his desk and lands beside Kylie.
!
Vampire Police Chief: My dear he only acted the way he did because he lacked
proper purpose. Under my supervision I can keep an eye on him and set him straight.
Now I believe youre her for this.

98

Vampire Police Chief gestures to Kylies cardboard box which sits off to the side. She
grabs it and begins to leave.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh one more thing. I was just curious what your next
screenplay entailed, if I might have to send out extra officers to cope.
!
Kylie: Im not sure, Mason says hes going to find out whats going on with our
powers.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well Ill make you a deal. If you report back to me what
you find out. I can make things worth your while.
Kylie doesnt answer but Vampire Police Chief knows shes considering it.
(11) Kylie wakes up in her apartment on the hard floor covered by several sweaters.
Daylight streams in directly into her eyes. She looks around at how shes living.
(12) The group assembles at Coffeebucks. Serena, Milo and Andre are extremely
hungover and quip about how inconveniently far the espresso bar they meet at is. They
drink from Crocohelp bottles (play on Gatorade). Kylie appears a little anxious,
whereas Mason is looking pretty grand. Its his turn as head writer and now that
Vampire Policeman isnt breathing down his neck he wants to use his screenplay for
answers... and a little sight seeing. Mason decides he wants his script to be one of
those world spanning National Treasure / Indiana Jones / Secret Life of Walter Mitty /
Eat Pray Love / Amazing Race style clue to clue quests that ends in a mountain
monastery whose resident guru is capable of answering whatever your most important
question may be.
!
Serena: Ok ugh cool, I think Milo, Andre and I are gonna sit this one out.
!
Andre: Ya we need some major recovery time. Ugh my head feels like I was the
one struck by lightning.
!
Mason (ignoring even the probability that Kylie would want to join): Okay well I
guess its just me on my solo-
Kylie (clearly having an inner debate) chimes in.
!
Kylie: Itll take more than a day.
!
Mason: Huh?
!
Kylie: Itll probably take like four or so. Since im next Ill volunteer my round as
head writer to give you enough time to complete the journey...
!
Mason (hesitant): Thanks?
!
Kylie: If I can tag along.
!
Mason: God damn it.
Mason reluctantly agrees to bring Kylie along with him, knowing shes right and he
wouldnt be able to do his adventure in a day.
(13) Cut to Mason typing into Scriptwriterpro: Montage: 4 days of clue to clue
globetrotting resulting in Mason getting the answer to the question most important to
him. He looks confused. Somethings missing. Oop thats what! Mason types into his
laptop again: Also Kylie gets cavity searched.

99

ACT 2
(14) Airport terminal. Pre-noon. Mason watches as Kylie shuffles out of the TSAs
office and makes her way over to him. He keeps his smile to himself and bites his
tongue.
!
Kylie: So how do we know where we are headed?
!
Mason: Picked up this treasure map from an antique pawn shop downtown.
Every location it sends us to has another clue that leads us to the next. We add them
all together in the end and it will tell us where the Monastery of Wisdom lies.
!
Kylie: Can I see that.
Mason hands he the old sepia stained scroll.
!
Mason: I cant wait for all the people and experiences along the way I-
!
Kylie: Got it.
!
Mason: What?
!
Kylie: Oh I know where the monastery is, I figured it out.
!
Mason (frustrated): Why? That takes all the fun out of the adventure. Youre
like the person that reads the last chapter first or uses the Warp Whistle when you
havent played through the game yet!
!
Kylie: I dont know what a Warp Whistle is but if its anything like my rape one I
would blow it right now to get out of this conversation.
!
Mason: This is my adventure that you agreed to come on so were doing it my
way. Step by step.
!
Kylie: Ooo step by step, is that the name of your foster care memoir?
Kylie regrets the joke before Mason can even react to it.
!
Kylie (apologetic): Im sorry, that was too-
!
Mason: I dont care.
Mason dips into his book Eat, Swag, Love.
!
P.A. System: Now boarding flight 104 to Cairo.
(15) Andre, Serena and Milo lay together like puzzle pieces on the sofa at Mason and
Serenas apartment. Each looks more like bag of crap then the last. Theyre weak eyed
and move sluggishly.
!
Serena (emotionally drained): Oh god... a two day hang over? How hard did we
party?
!
Andre (looking at his phone): Well apparently my bid just went through for a liver
on Blackmarket E-bay... so hard enough that drunk me would think thats a good idea.
Milo stretches from the couch to the coffee table, clings to the edge and pulls himself
onto it. He then flops into a puddle of spilt Crocohelp on the table and lays on his side
drinking from it.
!
Serena: Ha... classy.
!
Mason (OS): First Class Seat!?
(16) Mason and Kylie are directed to their seats by the Air Hostess.
!
Air Hostess (cheery): Yes, thats what I said, upgraded to a first class seat.
!
Kylie (handing over her ticket): And what about me?
!
Air Hostess (stoic): Row 72-B That way.
The Air Hostess points authoritarianly towards the back of the plane.

100

!
Mason (to Kylie): Imagine that... well, see you in Cairo!
Kylie grumbles and starts to make her way to the back of the plane.
!
Mason (OS): What! Julia Roberts!? Thats so weird youre here I actually know
someone who is a huge fan! Ha! Well sure Ill take a hug!
Kylie looks back towards the first class cabin with hate in her eyes. Mason is hugging a
lady (presumably Julia Roberts) with her back to Kylie. Mason gives Kylie a small
wave. Kylie grumbles.
(17) Andre, Serena and Milo are still hungover as balls and all twisted up with blankets
on top of one another.
!
Serena: Did we drink poison?
!
Andre: Technically all alcohol is poison.
!
Serena: Is there an antidote?
!
Andre: Nope.
!
Serena: Then its not a poison.
!
Andre: Never thought of it that way.
!
Serena: Cause its like even Snow Whites poison apple had an antidote.
!
Andre: Wasnt that just some random dude making out with her unconscious
body?
!
Serena: Oh ya... I guess it would make more sense if a boozy apple got her
black out drunk.
Milo vomits a little bit of blue liquid on the couch, then proceeds to slurp it up.
!
Serena: Ugh this is the worst.
(18) Cut to Kylie in the worst possible airplane seat. The window seat of her row is
taken by a mother and her screaming baby and the aisle seat by a morbidly obese man
whose fat rolls into Kylies space. She looks like shes about to snap.
!
Bodybuilder (OC): Oh sorry...
Reveal: A rather large man is holding the door to one of the lavatories just a few feet
from Kylie.
!
Bodybuilder: Guess I dont know my own strength.
!
Morbidly Obese Man: Oh dont worry I lost my sense of smell years ago lighting
a barbeque.
!
Mother w/Screaming Baby (cheery): Ill be fine too, Ive changed so many poopy
diapers recently the smell is like white noise for my nose now.
!
Kylie (mumbling to self through gritted teeth): This could not get any better.
Bodybuilder sits in the seat directly in front of Kylies and leans it as far back as it can
go.
(19) Mason in first class surrounded by beautiful models in a hot tub.
!
Mason: I cant believe theres seven of us in here and it still feels like theres so
much room! This could not get any better.
!
Most Interesting Man on Earth (OS): Oh ya? Try the red button.
Reveal: The Dos Equis Most Interesting Man on Earth sits in the hot tub across from
Mason (doesnt have to be T.M.I.M.o.E., could also be some suave bearded rich guy).

101

Mason hits the red button and theres and audible humming. The Most Interesting Man
on Earth lights a cigar.
!
Most Interesting Man on Earth: Erogenous jets.
!
Mason: Youre allowed to smoke up here?
!
Most Interesting Man on Earth: Its first class my boy! Want one, theyre
Cuban?
He holds out a box of Marc Cuban Brand Cigars.
(20) Andre gets up from the couch and manages to maintain his balance.
!
Serena: What are you doing?
!
Andre: Ending this.
Andre grabs his laptop, places it on the coffee table and boots up Scriptmakerpro.
!
Serena (sarcastic): No, wait, stop. We had an agreemen-
Andre gives Serena a look like I cant tell if youre being serious or not.
!
Serena: Im kidding, if you made the world a bathtub of spiders, but got rid of my
hangover Id still probably be okay with it .
Andre finishes typing.
!
Andre: Done. Now we wait for midnight.
Clock says 5:00pm.
Beat.
!
Serena: Ya know, after our hangovers disappear were gonna be feeling pretty
good.
!
Andre: Yaaa...
!
Serena: And Kylie and Mason wont be home for three days...
!
Andre: Stock the fridge with a little bubbly?
!
Serena: Ya Im thinking a few drops couldnt hurt.
!
Andre: Done.
Beat.
!
Serena: And maybe-
(21) Mason and Kylie get off their plane in Cairo. Multiple models blow kisses to
Mason as he leaves. Kylie is exhausted and has baby vomit on her shirt. We see in
Masons expression that he sympathizes with her. Perhaps he took things too far.
!
Kylie (sleepily): Ready?
!
Mason: Hold on.
(22) Cut to Mason and Kylie in front of the Pyramids of Giza as the sun rises. Its
breathtaking.
!
Mason: Ready?
Kylie breaks a bit of a smile.
(23) Serena, Milo and Andre on the couch. Andre typing into the laptop.
!
Serena (livelier): -Oh snap! Pinatas... and velcro wall and...
Clock says 11:59pm.
!
Andre: Got time for one more!
!
Serena: Ooo oo oo oh um... long island iced tea water bed!

102

!
Andre: Done!
Clock says 12:00am. The blood comes back to their faces and they look like they were
each given a shot of serotonin. Their hangovers are finally gone. Which is good
because... KNOCK KNOCK! There are people at the door.
!
Andre: Ready?
(24) Montage of Kylie and Masons adventure intercut with a montage of the party
Serena, Andre and Milo are throwing.
Kylie + Mason Montage 7 Hits: Each new breathtaking location and eccentric person
are representative of one of Snow Whites seven dwarfs. As the montage develops,
Kylie becomes more open to the idea of the adventure and general experience.
Serena + Andre + Milo Montage 6 Hits: Each scene depicted is representative of the
seven deadly sins (all except lust). As the montage develops, Serena, Andre and Milo
become unfathomably drunk, obnoxious and violent. Their party gets crazier and wilder
(even getting a visit from Vampire Police Chief who asks for a Bloody Mary).
!
(25) Kylie and Mason end their montage at night around the base of a Himalayan
Mountain as their happy sherpa sets off. Mason zips up the tent. Its just the two of
them. They seem friendly with each other again.
!
Mason: So you knew all along it would be this mountain?
!
Kylie: Well to be honest I had it pegged as one mountain over.
!
Mason: How?
Kylie explains (ya ya I havent thought of it yet... maybe the return address was on the
back of the map)
!
Mason: Ohhhh see I never would have that of that. Too bad that brilliant mind of
yours couldnt foresee your parents getting sick of you. (yep, Mason got too
comfortable)
!
Kylie: Excuse me?
!
Mason: You just lack social intelligence, thats all.
!
Kylie: Ha!
!
Mason: Whats so funny?
!
Kylie: That coming from a guy who resorts to scripted prostitutes now because
he fears commitment so much!
!
Mason: First off I didnt break up with you because I feared commitment, I broke
up with you cause youre a bitch, and second off I havent had sex with anyone since
you!
!
Kylie: Well me neither!
Awkward Beat.
Mason and Kylie start viciously making out and stripping off clothes. (theres that lust!)
(26) The happy sherpa watches as their shadows get it on (so thats why hes so
happy).

103

ACT 3
(27) Serena, Milo and Andre come to in the disaster that is their apartment now. It has
been nearly 48 hours of partying, drugs and debauchery. Andres crew is passed out
around the living room with their corresponding scripted prostitute. Serena and Andre
are intertwined naked beneath a blanket on the couch. Milos sprawled out between
their heads. This hangover will be magnitudes larger then the previous one.
!
Serena: Hey do you remember if we had sex?
!
Andre: Hold on let me check.
!
Serena: Ya I will too.
Serena and Andre reach beneath the blanket to feel their own genitals.
!
Andre: Yep. Serena: Nope.
!
Andre/Serena: Huh?
!
Serena: I still have my vodka tampon in.
!
Andre: Oh wait a second.
Andre looks under the blanket.
!
Andre: My bad, it was also filled with vodka. (his condom)
(28) Mason wakes up to Kylie already dressed in her gear and ready to go.
!
Mason: Sneaking out before someone wakes up doesnt exactly work in the
Himalayas.
!
Kylie: Im not sneaking out, I just want to catch our flight later and were behind
schedule now.
!
Mason: So no morning quickie then?
!
Kylie: No! We dont have the-
(29) Cut back to Serena and Andre.
!
Serena: Crap crap crap, the time!
Clock says 11:58pm.
!
Andre: Wheres my laptop?
!
Serena: Should be on my bed!
Andre gets up from the couch and pulls up his boxers. Its only 25 feet into Serenas
room and to her bed, but it might as well be across a universe of scorpions. Andre has
the balance of a baby bird and if he cant make it to the laptop its gonna be like that for
another 24 hours.
!
Andre: Jesus Christ I feel like Im in a bathtub of spiders right now!
He cant keep his equilibrium and falls to the ground over and over. We flip between the
clock and his struggle, seconds slipping away! On hands and knees he crawls into
Serenas room and reaches up to the bed. Hes got it! Hes so close! SCREE! His grip
slips from the bed frame and he falls to the floor. Serena and Milo watch as the
seconds on the clock run out.
!
Andre: God-
(30) Mason and Kylie climbing the mountain.
!
Mason: -damn it.
Reveal: Mason is holding a bag of browned apple slices.

104

!
Mason: Just cut them this morning... must be the atmosphere. Kylie you want
some apple slices?
Kylie is way behind. My turns to face the summit which is now visible.
!
Mason (to self): Well at least somethings looking up.
(31) Andre looks up from his collapsed position on the floor and spots the clock in
Serenas room. On it he still has half a minute. Amazing!
!
Andre: Heads up your living room clock is thirty seconds fast! Prepare yourself
to be de-hangoverd!
With plenty of time to spare Andre hoists himself up and reaches for his laptop! Which
happens to be... submerged in a pool of Long Island Iced Tea. A Moonboot sticks in
the punctured mattress and one of Andres Crew hangs from the ceiling fan by his
jersey. Time on the clock runs out.
(32) Kylie finally makes it to the top. Mason has been there for awhile now and sits
crosslegged waiting. Breathless she looks for the temple, but all thats left is ash. Still
smoking ash.
!
Mason (solemnly): Guess the apples were an omen.
(33) Andre, Serena and Milo discussing how Kylie and Mason will be home in less than
24 hours which mean theyll have to clean everything up themselves (scripts can only
send at midnights). That is or risk being found out for breaking the groups rules. The
ones that were just established the other day! However Serena, Milo and Andre might
as well be catatonic the way their hangovers are treating them. Its an impossible task.
(34) Mason and Kylie begin to argue. Had they done Kylies plan and went straight to
the temple they would have gotten to it before it burnt down. Mason argues or maybe
wed be inside when it happened. And all sorts of other issues. The argument ends
when Kylie slips off the edge of a particularly steep and icy slope and Mason grabs her
hand.
!
Mason: Dont let go!
!
Kylie: I wont!
Mason starts to slip off with her.
!
Mason: Umm heyyy so were both just going to die then?
!
Kylie: Do you want to let go? Is that it!?
!
Mason: Well I mean...
!
(35) Serena, Andre and Milo are cleaning the apartment at a glacial pace.
(36) Kylie and Mason.
!
Kylie (giving up): You can let go if you want.
Mason furrows his brow. Hes not going to let her die.
!
Mason: Aaaaaaaa!
(37) Andre reaching up from the floor to put a beer can in the garbage.
!
Andre: Aaaaaaa!

105

(38) Mason uses every ounce of strength in his body to lift Kylie back up!... and in doing
so breaks off the edge of slope leaving them both plummeting into the fog to their
deaths.
(39) The beer can doesnt make it past the rim of the garbage can and it comes back
down on Andres head. He looks back up at the rim. Its impossible.
(40) Dissolve from garbage can rim to ice cliff rim. Mason can hardly believe what hes
seeing. Hes still alive. Its impossible
Reveal: Mason and Kylies fall into the fog only lasted six feet.
!
Kylie: Mason look.
The fog begins to clear and they spot it. The temple they were looking for. It looks
sleek and glossy. A replacement for the old burnt one.
!
(41) Hope seems to be lost for Andre who sprawls out on the floor. Milo leans against
his head and tries his best to nuzzle him.
!
Serena: Andre look.
Reveal: In the doorway is Landlord. The light shining behind him gives him a holy
appearance.
!
(42) Mason and Kylie enter the temple. A wise guru sits crosslegged in the middle of
the room. And as Mason starts to open his mouth the guru juts in
!
Guru: You have the capability of love, but were more in love with the idea of it
then the person embodying it.
!
Mason: What!?
!
Guru: Next!
Kylie and Mason are dumbstruck.
!
Guru (to Kylie): Same to you. Next!
A Housewife swoops by Mason to be in the Gurus presence.
!
Guru: A tablespoon more of dijon.
!
Housewife: I knew it!
!
Guru: Next!
!
Mason: Excuse me but you-
A Geeky Guy passes Mason as the Housewife exits.
!
Guru: Youll never lose it.
!
Geeky Guy: Awwww.
!
Guru: Next!
!
Mason: But hey I-
!
Guru: Sir your question was answered, if you want to ask another youre going
to have to wait another life cycle.
It clicks with Mason. Him and Kylie turn to walk out and theres an enormous line where
a minute ago was clear.
!
Mason (on the line): Weird when that happens huh.
A Family Man at the front of the line moves toward the Guru.

106

Guru: In an avalanche on your way down the mountain.

(43) Mason and Kylie begin to climb down the mountain. Mason explains to her that
the monk gave them that answer because the question changed from why do we have
these powers to why werent you and I right for each other. Mason and Kylie then
decide not to rush back to the plane and to enjoy an extra day adventuring just as
friends. Mason phones Serena to let her know theyll be back a day late.
(44) Cut to Serena, Milo and Andre looking insanely exhausted. More exhausted then
theyve ever looked. Theyve almost certainly been up all night cleaning so that Mason
and Kylie wouldnt figure out they had broken the group rules and with the help of
Landlord they were able to do it. With everything all back to normal Serena gets the call
that they had another day and in retrospect would have been able to just screenplay a
clean house. Theyre all about to cry when(45) Cut back to Mason and Kylie. Mason hanging up the phone.
!
Mason: Ya I think they miss us, sounded pretty choked up on the phone. Hey
race you to the bottom.
!
Kylie: Youre on!
As Kylie and Mason disappear from frame, further across the mountain in the
background an avalanche goes by carrying Family Man.
(Homages: Sports Film, Snow White and The Seven Dwarves, Se7en)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) The idea of love is never as satisfying as the real thing.
(2) The journey is often worth more than the prize.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Andre known as a football star
(+) Liver in fridge
(+) Crocohelp bottles for hangovers
(-) Andres crews moonboots
(+) Andre and Serenas drug dealer

107

S01E05 - Reappropriation
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

108

Purpose: To develop Andres character and shuffle the deck of character interactions.
TEASER
(1) A blanket of dense green fog rolls over the city as Serenas (unintentional The Mist
parody) screenplay takes shape.
(2) Grocery store of people huddle together staring out its glass front into the fog.
!
Cashier: Theres something in the mist!
TWACK! Something hits the window and the crowd recoils in fear. TWACK! CRACK!
The window spiderwebs. TWACK! THWACK! CRACK! The silhouette of a monster
begins to emerge.
!
Stoner: Awww sorry man.
Reveal: The monster turns out to be a pothead in ridiculous dreads and weird hemp
clothing.
!
Stoner: My bad.
The Stoner bends down to pick up the hackysacks he accidentally swatted into the
window.
(3) Heroic Man and with family (wife, son, grandma, grandpa) drive through the mist
until car runs out of gas. Theres only enough dabs for four people. From outside the
car we hear four of them take rips from a bong. When we return to a shot inside the car
everyone except for Heroic Man looks so high they could be comatose.
!
Heroic Man (intensely emotional): Nooooooo!
Heroic Man tries to take rips from the bong, but everything is smoked. He steps outside
the car begging the world to take him. Which is exactly when an army platoon emerges
from the smoke equipped with trucks with large fans, febreeze and gas masks. Heroic
Man is about to scream when we transition to it as silent footage on a news report.
(4) Anchors behind desk, video superimposed.
!
Anchor: A city wide marjiuana cloud.
(5) [zinger] The Group is at Serena and Masons apartment watching the report on the
tv. Green weed smoke can be seen lingering out their living room window. The news
report continues in the audible background. Serena and Milo are baked and giggling
while Mason and Kylie who are sober roll their eyes. Andre wears a gas mask (never
been a fan of weed).
!
Kylie: Well at least itll be another 8 days until her next one.
ACT 1
(6) The Group meet at Coffeebucks the day after Serenas screenplay (for obvious
reasons). The city is once again weed-smoke free and the group discusses the
implications of the drug, its effect on minorities and why Andres against it. He believes
that weed/weed laws have been used to incarcerate and keep minorities down and
wont take part in it.

109

!
Kylie (to Andre): I saw you do coke off of 21 year old Halle Berrys clavicle last
week!
!
Serena: And we did like a goblet of molly the other night.
!
Mason: Not to mention all the adderall in- wait (to Serena) when did you guys do
moll-
!
Andre: Ok I get it Im not perfect! I just dont toke.
Mason realizes hes never actually seen Andre with a joint. Kylie suggests Andre
should just get rid of weed laws with his screenplay if they bother him so much. Andre
hates that he agrees with her. Mason wants Andre to use his turn as head writer to
figure out whats going on. Kylie glares him down. Serena volunteers to help Mason
search for the Destiny Dog cart.
!
Mason: Oh ya the cart. I forgot thats where all of this started.
Perfect. Group adjourned! Kylie goes back to her job, Milo and Andre leave together
and Serena and Mason leave together. As the group disperses Andre still looks
unsatisfied and a little upset.
!
Andre (to Milo): Hey you mind if I take some alone time?
Milo is understanding. He gives Andre a quick nuzzle then hops off to catch up with
Serena and Mason.
!
Mason (to Milo): Oh hey dude! Come to help with the search?
(7) Kylie is startled when she looks up and sees her next customer is Vampire Police
Chief.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hello Kylie. I believe we have some unfinished
business.
(8) Andre taking some alone time ends up walking by his crew who are (as always)
shooting some hoops at a basketball court. They talk a little about weed laws and how
they effect them. The guy from Andres crew that always gets stuck on ceiling fans and
chandeliers mentions his dads in prison on drug possession charges. Despite the
somberness of the topic, Andres crew remain pretty chipper. The world is how it is and
you can let the bad eggs get you down or you can play basketball with your friends.
Andre is close to accepting that dogma.
!
Dude in Andres Crew: So what you sayin?
A older white lady walks by and as she does clutches her purse ever so slightly tighter
even though Andres crew could not look like friendlier dudes. Andre notices, his crew
are oblivious.
!
Andre (to Dude in Andres Crew): Ill pass for now.
(9) Kylie and Vampire Police Chief in Coffeebucks.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh and dont forget the whipped cream! But the low fat
stuff. You think I can levitate now just wait til Im bloated.
Reveal: Kylie is making a complicated drink order for him... and is unimpressed. She
finishes up and hands him his drink.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Ah good now where were we? Oh yes you were going to
tell me how you all have your powers.
!
Kylie: We havent found out yet.

110

Vampire Police Chief looks angry.


!
Vampire Police Chief: Is that so?
!
Kylie: Mason is out right now trying to figure it out though.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Without you?
!
Kylie: I have to work.
!
Vampire Police Chief: And you always will have to. Our deals off... and this isnt
the low fat stuff. What do I look like to you a charlatan?
(10) Montage: Mason, Serena and Milo after walking the streets all evening looking for
the right Destiny Dog cart finishing with them deciding to call it quits. They are very far
from the apartment.
!
Mason: Well lets start the walk back.
!
Serena: Walk back? Oh no no no I got us an Uber.
!
Mason: What? Really?
!
Serena: Ya I figured we were gonna give up soon and was afraid Id have to
convince you to in a minute if our ride showed up.
Thats when they spot the Destiny Dog cart. The Destiny Dog cart. Silhouette Man
seems to be packing it up.
!
Serena: That the cart?
!
Mason: It could be...
The cart starts to move. Its being pulled away by a truck. Damn!
!
Mason: No no no! Where is our ride!?
The streets are empty in all directions except for the cart being driven away. Thats
when... FLIT! FLIT! FLIT! A helicopter descends from the sky and begins to land in the
middle of the street. The helicopter is piloted by Landlord who taps his smartphone on
the dash.
!
Landlord: Oh hey Mason! Hey Serena! Hey Milo!
They all look at him flabbergasted.
!
Landlord: Im the Uber, cmon hop in!
They cautiously climb aboard as the chopper lifts into the air.
!
Landlord: Ive been taking lessons so I could really take my passengers around
quickly. You know how many more rides I can give when I dont have to deal with
traffic!? Anyway where to?
!
Mason: Follow that truck and trailer!
The helicopter starts to track.
(11) Andre sits in front of his laptop and casually glances over at Milos bed mat. Its
empty.
!
Andre: Huh... must still be out.
On the screen part of his script reads he wakes up and all weed laws are reversed.
Andre looks unsatisfied and we see him backspace across weed laws. He replaces it
with racism. The script now reads he wakes up and all racism are reversed. Hes
acted emotionally with this script instead of rationally.
ACT 2

111

(12) The group spots the Destiny Dog cart as it drives past security gates onto the
Destiny Dog factorys property. Landlord lands them in a nearby parking lot and they
sneak over to the chainlink fence that surrounds the compound. Theyll need to be as
stealth as possible to get a look at whats going on in there. Luckily it doesnt look like
they have much security. Each of them climb the fence (Milo with ease) and land on the
other side simultaneously.
!
Mason (whispers): Ha! Splinter Ce-
The brightest spotlight you could possibly imagine envelop them as an air siren goes
off. They were caught basically immediately. Climbing the fence might take too long to
escape though! They look panicked. Milo turns Masons head with his tiny furry paws.
!
Mason: Oh.
There was a gate not several feet from where they all climbed over. They swoop
through it and back to Landlords chopper. Hes reading the newspaper on his smart
phone (something about something [will think of it later]) waiting for them. They get in
and he takes off.
(13) Establishing shot of Serena and Masons apartment building now with a helicopter
on its roof.
(14) Serena and Mason telling Milo he can crash there for the night. They all agree to
try the Destiny Dog factory again during day time hours. Heck they might even get a
tour. Milo curls up with Serena in her bed.
!
Serena (to Milo): I know its gonna be so weird waking up to everything being
different...
(15) Andre wakes up the next morning and turns on the news. The story is the
complete opposite of the one Landlord was reading in his helicopter. Andre is
pleasantly surprised. Racism has really been reversed.
(16) Montage of Masons morning as he does everything white people take for granted
(ie. successfully apply for loans, experience an internet filled with predominantly black
porn, eat fried chicken and watermelon without being goaded at, etc.)
(17) Mason, Serena and Milo start their journey back to the Destiny Dog factory.
!
Serena: I dont understand why we cant just take the chopper again.
!
Mason: Its convenient, but its way too expensive.
!
Serena: Well I know one way to pass the time.
Serena pulls a bag of weed from her back pocket.
!
Serena: Totally legal now. Just need to pick up some papers.
As they make their way down the street things seem a little weird. Certain ethnicities
seem to clutch their purses or lock their car doors when they walk by.
!
Mason: Strange.
!
Serena: Oh hey lets cross here.
They move to cross the street and get about halfway before... WOOP! WOOP! A police
cruiser throws on its sirens. The two vietnamese officers get out.
!
Vietnamese Officer: Put you hands and paws where we can see them.

112

Serena, Milo and Mason put their hands up.


!
Mason: There must be some mistake.
!
Vietnamese Officer: Were you jaywalking.
!
Mason: Well yes bu-
!
Vietnamese Officer: Then theres no mistake.
!
Mason: This has never happened to us be-
Vietnamese Officer #2 begins to circle behind them.
!
Vietnamese Officer #2: Well what have we here?
He pulls the bag of weed from Serenas back pocket.
!
Serena: Its legal now.
!
Vietnamese Officer: Not even close. Call it in Ngyuen.
(18) Andre starts to notice that since racism was reversed there are a bunch of things
that are different. For instance Jay-Z is irish, Ben Affleck is middle eastern and
Tyler Perry movies are predominantly white people.
!
Andre (to self): Finally the lameness of these movies makes sense! Huh maybe
I can convince the others to keep it this way.
(19) Establishing: The new police headquarters at Kylies old palace.
(20) Serena, Milo and Mason in an interrogation room being grilled by Vietnamese
Officer. He has pictures of them briefly tresspassing on Destiny Dogs property and with
such a thick stack of minor offenses sees them doing 25-life. Vampire Police Chief
walks by the open door.
!
Mason: Wait he knows us! He can get us off!
Vampire Police Chief pokes his head in to see what the ruckus is about.
!
Vampire Police Chief (casually): Nope, dont know them (he clearly does).
Vampire Police Chief walks away grinning.
!
Mason: What? Cmon!
(21) Vietnamese Officer #2 is guiding Mason, Serena and Milo through the hallway.
!
Vietnamese Officer: Take them to holding for now.
Vietnamese Officer #2 accidentally leads them into a courtroom.
!
Vietnamese Officer #2: Woops wrong room.
!
Judge: Guilty! Execution. Midnight.
!
Serena: What?!
!
Vietnamese Officer #2: Well you heard the man.
!
Mason: Cmon!
!
Serena: He didnt even hear our case!
!
Vietnamese Officer #2: Didnt need to.
(22) Andre looks for his crew to celebrate with them, but discovers since racism was
reversed theres nothing that brought them together and have all turned out to be a
uninteresting white jerks. All except for Chandelier Thug who plays basketball by
himself.
!
Andre: How come youre not reversed?

113

Chandelier thug was in the room in episode 2 when they went over everything with
vampire policeman. He knows reality is scripted and is now a viewer that cant be
written for.
!
Chandelier Thug (looks unhappy): I liked what you guys were writing so far, but
this one kind of sucks.
Kylie shows up and interrupts their conversation.
!
Kylie (angry): Andre! I know what you did! Do you have any idea who I just got
off the phone with and where they were!
(23) Cut to Serena, Milo and Mason in orange jumpsuits (even Milo has on a tiny one)
in prison as Mason hangs up the phone.
!
Mason: Huh well even though were going to die tonight, this co-ed prison is
pretty cool.
ACT 3
(24) Mason, Serena and Milo are led to a cell by a guard. In the cell is a hardened
criminal (african-american), perhaps in for multiple homicide (not because hes black,
because the tear drop tattoos on his face could form a stream).
!
Hardened Criminal (whiny): Awww just when I had the room to myself.
!
Guard (amused): Oh dont worry Willie, these three have been fast tracked
(whisper) due to their skin colour. (normal voice) Theyll be all fried up by the end of the
day and youll have your leg room back.
The guard leaves and Mason and Serena nervously laugh as they figure out what to do.
Milo spots a larger, tougher looking chinchilla across the cell block that makes a slit
throat gesture) and out of fear climbs to the window and hops through the bars into the
yard. Mason and Serena notice and run through the prison to catch up outside.
(25) Serena and Mason make it outside to the yard just in time to watch Milo climb the
perimeter fence, setting the air sirens off.
!
Mason: Ugh getting really tired of that sound.
!
Serena: Its like the opposite of christmas in my ears!
Milo, now on the free side of the fence speedily hops away.
(26) Kylie, Andre and Chandelier Thug discuss what to do about Serena, Mason and
Milo now that they know they will be executed before midnight. They seem to be pretty
screwed on this one. That is until Milo shows up in his prison jumpsuit.
!
Andre: Milo!
Andre holds Milo in his arms and gives him a squeeze.
!
Andre: How did you-
Milo starts to hop away.
!
Chandelier Thug: Pretty sure he wants us to follow.
(27) Mason and Serena talk race gangs with some of the prison inmates and figure
out that Andre reversed racism instead of weed laws.
!
Mason: Damn it Andre. Youre supposed to be the one that thinks through all
these things!

114

(28) Milo ends up leading Andre, Kylie and Chandelier Thug straight to Landlords
basement apartment and climbs through the window forcing them to knock. Landlord
opens the door with Milo on his shoulder. Landlord looks amazing. Thick flowing hair.
Sculpted physique. Even his tone of voice is deeper and more robust. He is leading
man material. In a world of reversed racism he is our Jason Statham / Bruce Willis /
Tom Cruise.
!
Landlord: Tell me everything.
(29) Establishing shot of Mason and Serenas Apartment as night begins to fall. The
helicopter is still on the roof.
!
Landlord: Alright I want everyone to listen up.
(30) Inside Landlords basement apartment he has become our protagonist. His
confidence is immeasurable and his monologues inspiring.
!
Landlord: We go in fast and hard. When we get close Kylie Im gonna need you
to take the stick-
!
Kylie: I dont know how to fly!
!
Landlord: All you need to do is believe in yourself.
She does.
!
Landlord: Andre, Chandelier Thug, I need you two to locate Serena and Mason
and bring them to the yard.
!
Andre/Chandelier Thug: Done.
!
Landlord: And Milo, you have the most important job, you must break into the
records area and swap out Mason and Serenas execution orders, we dont want them
ending up right back in the clink.
Milo nods (serious look on adorable face).
!
Chandelier: What about you?
!
Landlord: Ill hold off the prisoners, only so many of us can escape on that
helicopter... and should you know who show up... someone will have to deal with him.
(31) Serena and Mason in their cell with their cell mate Willie.
!
Serena: Soo what are you in here for?
!
Willie: Oh general neo-naziism. You?
!
Mason: Jay walking, a little trespassing and some pot.
!
Willie: Damn, ya I forgot majorities are heavily discriminated against in the
criminal justice system. Rough stuff.
!
Mason: Ya... starting to realize that.
Willie goes back to reading his book, Eat, Swag, Love.
!
Serena (to Mason): Confession time?
!
Mason: Why not. Presidents not really mexican... that was me abusing my
powers.
!
Serena: No god damn way! Wow I wonder what he is now now that races have
reversed. Whats the opposite of Mexican?
!
Willie: Italian. Mexican is ingredients wrapped in a starch, Italian is starch
wrapped in ingredients.

115

Serena seems to agree.


!
Mason: Ok but you cant just relate everything to food, the human race is much
more than that.
(32) Cut to helicopter cruising through the sky full of Landlord, Kylie, Milo, Andre and
Chandelier Thug.
!
Landlord (on the controls): Dont worry this is going to be a piece of cake! I can
see the prison now!
(33) Serena, Mason and Willie.
!
Serena: Ok well I guess since we only have an hour left to live there is
something Ive always wanted to tell you. Mason I-
FLIT! FLIT! FLIT! FLIT! Mason looks out the cell window.
!
Mason: No god damn way.
!
Serena: Its Landlord isnt it!
!
Mason: Well I mean ya, but I was more referring to now not getting to know your
secret until were faced with imminent death again.
!
Serena: Yep, definitely going to have to wait on that.
Air siren goes off again.
!
Mason: Oh cmon!
(34) Kylie holds the stick, keeping the helicopter in hover ten feet above the ground.
Landlord, Chandelier Thug, Andre and Milo hop out. Andre and Chandelier Thug run
into the complex to grab Serena and Mason. Milo climbs into the prisons control tower
office to switch around the files. Landlord grabs the barbell from the yards gym and
uses it as a staff to defend the helicopter.
(35) Andre and Chandelier Thug make it through the prison as inmates start to riot,
eventually locating Serena and Mason.
!
Andre: Cmon time to go.
!
Chandelier Thug: Wait! (to inmate who looks like an identically black
Heisenberg) Dad?
Chandelier Thug and Black Heisenberg reunite.
!
Andre: What drug charges did you say he was in here for again?
!
Chandelier Thug: Meth Kingpin.
!
Andre: Not sure the helicopter can take one more.
!
Chandelier Thug: I think Im gonna stay here with him then.
!
Andre: Ah sure, ya thats cool.
(36) Milo switching around execution forms. He swaps out Mason and Serenas and
almost replaces one with Chandelier Thugs Dad, but accidentally drops it so he
replaces them with Willie and Roy (the tough chinchilla). Milo forgets to replace his
own... making him henceforth a wanted criminal.
(37) Mason, Serena and Andre make a run for the helicopter when in floats Vampire
Police Chief.

116

!
Vampire Police Chief: I knew it would come to this, you and I.
!
Mason: We dont want troub-
!
Vampire Police Chief: No not you, the protagonist.
Reveal: Landlord surrounded by convicts hes defeated, keeping them from the
helicopter.
!
Landlord (to Mason/Andre/Serena): Go, this is my fight not yours.
!
Andre (casually): You heard the man.
Kylie dips the chopper low enough for them to hop aboard.
!
Serena: Wait Milo!
(38) Landlord throws down the barbell and beckons Vampire Police Chief to come at
him. They start to quarrel.
(39) They spot Milo at the top of a watch tower and Kylie moves the helicopter near.
!
Andre: Youre gonna have to jump!
Milo does and just makes it, hanging onto the edge.
!
Mason: Kylie, get us out of here.
!
Kylie: Can do.
Turns out she cant and almost immediately crashes the helicopter into the penitentiary
fence. They all survive without scratches as convicts drain by them from their
imprisonment (including Chandelier Thug and Black Heisenberg).
(40) Landlord and Vampire Police Chief stop their epic battle.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Ooo actually as chief of police I kinda got to deal with that
right now.
!
Landlord: Oh hey totally understand, you mind if just-
Vampire Police Chief looks away for a moment, then back at Landlord. Landlord is back
to his regular balding and potbellied self.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Walk out? Sounds peachy.
(41) Mason, Andre, Milo, Serena and Kylie escape on foot.
!
Mason (breathless): Andre if you want to keep the world this way, I just want you
to know Im okay with it.
Andre is silent and stoic.
!
Kylie: Mason I changed it back.
!
Mason: Okay well just know I feel guilty for secretly liking non-discrimination.
!
Andre: Doesnt matter, as long as you dont secretly like discrimination.
(42) The next morning. Racism and racial history is back to its unfortunate status quo.
Kylie and Andre watch from a bench as Andres Crew plays basketball. Black
Heisenberg plays with the crew as well, bonding with his son.
!
Kylie (sympathetic): I know you hate me-
!
Andre: I dont ha- okay well ya I do hate you, but not for returning things to the
way they were.
!
Kylie: Lets face it it sucks that the world works the way it does. And its important
to know how we got here. But what matters is where were going... Andre?

117

!
Andre (non-reluctantly): I agree.
Andre gets up off the bench.
!
Andre: By the way its Milos screenplay tomorrow, prepare yourself.
!
Kylie: Oh god what is it?
!
Andre: Lets just say well be doing a bit of traveling.
Andre leaves Kylie on the bench and walks over to the court.
!
Andre: Room for one more?
His crew welcomes him openly as he jumps in on the basketball. He sucks (a lot of
traveling), they dont care. Theyre family.
!
Notes: Add more references to food
(Homages: Prison Break)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Its important to know how we got where we are, but what matters most is
where were going.
(2) Never know what its like until you walk a day in another persons shoes.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Hackysack hippies
(+) Andres gas mask
(+) Landlords helicopter
(-) Landlords helicopter
(+) Ex-cons
(+) Black Heisenberg
(+) Evil Tough Chinchilla
(+) Willie

118

S01E06 - Flirtation
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

119

Purpose: To further expand on the series mythology and explore more unique
character combinations.
TEASER
(1) Open in the Middle-East. Andre, Serena, Mason and Kylie go from market to village
to oasis to so forth through sandscapes of desert showing locals a picture who then nod
and point in a direction.
(2) They find a trail in the sand (as if a serpent crossed the Sahara) and follow it by
camel. They see a rising cloud of dust in the distance.
(3) [zinger] Eventually they come upon a bowl-like dune filled with dust cloud (the trail
leads right into it).
!
Andre: Okay youre episode ended yesterday!
The dust cloud settles and Milo has been in the middle of it all. He has never looked
happier. Milo does a few more twirls in the sand before hopping on the back of Andres
camel.
!
Andre: Lets go home Pigpen.
ACT 1
(4) The Group is back in Coffeebucks still dirty and tired from the Middle East. It looks
like they literally just got in and went straight to the espresso bar. Milo is still exuberant
and especially happy (he just got to roll around for two days in his dream dust bowl!).
Its Masons turn again as head writer. He pours some sand from his shoe, which Milo
dashes over to twirl in. Mason decides to figure out once and for all whats up with their
powers (and not in a they have to go to the himalayas type of way). Hes simply going
to write something like The Silhouette Man shows up at a specific place and explains
everything.
!
Andre: And what if he cant be written for?
!
Mason: Worth a try.
!
Andre: Alright man, just know theres 8 more days until your next shot.
!
Mason (irritated): Really? You guys seriously dont even want to know how all of
this is possible? You just want adventures and 21 year old Halle Berrys?!
Serena, Andre and Kylie shrug as if to say yeah. Milo twirls again in the dirt.
!
Kylie: Well maybe save the Halle Berrys for someone who can actually write a
romantic character.
!
Serena: Oh please and thats you?
!
Andre: Hey I wrote her exactly as I wanted!
!
Kylie (to Serena): Um yes and (to Andre) ok sure you did.
!
Serena: She was a little flat.
!
Andre: She was 36C!
Kylie, Andre and Serena debate the merits of a good romantic character and eventually
settle on a write off. Serena/Andre (mostly because Andre has to write for Serena and
really loves beating Kylie at things) vs. Kylie. Whoever can write the better rom com

120

wins the other person(s) turn as head writer. Landlord judges at the end. They ask
Mason for his permission to write for the next day. Masons curiosity gets the better of
him.
!
Mason: Ok sure, but only if it doesnt interfere with my plan.
Mason empties a little more sand from his shoe. Milo jumps into it.
!
Mason: God its like theres an hourglass in there.
(5) Quiet Montage: Mason writing in his apartment / Andre + Serena writing in the
apartment / Kylie writing in Coffeebucks / Landlord practicing Tai Chi or something
weird / Vampire Police Chief giving his kids blood popsicles / Mason still dumping sand
from his shoe / Milo twirling in sand / Andres Crew playing Call of Duty / etc.
(6) Mason finishes his script.
!
Mason: See you tomorrow Im headed to bed.
Serena and Andre mumble from the living room. Mason goes to remove his socks
before climbing into bed. As he takes one off sand pours from it. He holds it upside
down and the grains stream from it resulting in a ginormous mess on the floor.
!
Mason: How is that even possible!?
Milo darts into the room and begins to twirl in the dirt.
!
ACT 2
(7) The next morning Kylie begins her rom-com/romantic screenplay where she plays
the capable independent female lead that dont need a man, but ultimately grants him
access to a relationship based on his persistence and respect for her and her decisions.
Kylies Date: is trying to save the rivers from the pollution of an evil corporation
(basically Erin Brockovich) and in the end her hunk of man meat is just a happy addition
of pursuing your own hard work.
(8) Serena begins her rom com where she plays the girl who is dependent on a knight
of a man coming in a fixing everything for her, sweeping her off her feet and chivalrying
the crap out of her. Basically she doesnt have to do anything.
Serenas Date: is pretending to not have done anything so that her hunk can show her
the ropes (and eventually his rope) + Nicholas Sparksing everything. Her date day is
the complete opposite of Kylies. By not pursuing her own work and giving in to
experience she gets her man.
(9) Andre and Landlord move between dates, observing from a distance. Landlord
absolutely loves to be included, taking notes on a clipboard.
(10) Mason wakes up to Milo sleeping beside his bed in the pile of dirt.
!
Mason: Alright dude lets go learn the secrets of the universe.
(11) Mason and Milo standing on an empty curb. The special Destiny Dog cart is no
where to be seen.

121

!
Mason: Well I guess it couldnt be too easy.
Mason turns one of his pockets inside out and a pile of dirt falls onto the sidewalk. Milo
twirls in it.
!
Mason: You know there is one thing we never fully checked out.
(12) Mason and Milo staring through the fence of the Destiny Dog factory.
!
Mason: Reception this time?
(13) Andre and Landlord observing Kylies date.
!
Landlord: And she has no idea...
!
Andre: Nope.
(14) Andre and Landlord observing Serenas date.
!
Landlord: And she has no idea...
!
Andre: Nope.
(14) Mason and Milo enter the lobby of the Destiny Dog headquarters. It is massive.
There is way more open space then it was any right to have. Everything is sleek, white
and modern. The receptionist behind the desk is cheery and welcoming.
!
Mason: Hey I was wondering if we could get a tour of the factory?
!
Receptionist: Of course! Mr. Dog will be right with you.
An eccentric old white in a suit and top hat of Destiny Dogs matching colour scheme
appears.
!
Snoopifer Dog: Hello there! My names Snoopifer Dog, president of the
company and Ill be your guide this afternoon. You can call me Snoop for short.
!
Mason: This is amazing.
(15) Montage:
-Kylie putting a case together with the help of her man assisting discovers Destiny Dog
is the one polluting the rivers with toxins
- Serena trying new things with her man (not really, shes just pretending theyre new
- Mason getting a tour of the Destiny Dog facility (its much grosser and industrial in the
back, and very Willy Wonka-esque)
- Kylie filing an injunction to get Destiny Dog shut down
- Serena and her man both being diagnosed with cancer and then beating it
- Andre looking happy when Landlord nods in approval for Serenas date
- Andre glaring Landlord down when he nods in approval for Kylies date.
(16) Around the end of the Destiny Dog tour Mason notices the workers there are all
dwarfs with orange skin.
!
Mason: Whats with them?
!
Snoopifer (hiding something): Certainly not a product of the deadly chemicals
we use... because theyre not deadly! Not at all!

122

(17) Mason, Milo and Snoopifer finish the tour in the cart bay. It resembles a
spacecraft hanger from a Star Wars film. Sparks fly as mechanics and welders work
hard maintaining the meat wagons. Mason looks for the cart with the extra G but it is
nowhere to be found.
!
Mason: Hey I was wondering if you could tell me about one of your carts.
!
Snoopifer: Im sorry sir but the company has a responsibility to protect its
employees information.
Milo hops off. Neither notice. Mason takes out a rough sketch thats really nothing
more than a silhouette of a man.
!
Mason: Please could you just tell me if this looks familiar and if youve seen a
cart with an extra G.
!
Snoopifer: Sir life does not work like an episode of Law and Order, I have over
three hundred people working for me and- oh wait a second, ya thats-
As Snoopifer is about to reveal the identity, Receptionist runs up to him and whispers in
his ear. With everything she says to him his look at Mason grows angrier.
!
Snoopifer: Mhmm, yes, yes, is that so?
The Receptionist passes him a sheet of paper and leaves the two of them.
!
Snoopifer: I should have know thats why youre here.
!
Mason: Wait what?
!
Snoopifer: An injunction! (holding legal document towards Mason)
!
Mason: I dont even know what that-
!
Snoopifer: I thought you were interested in the process but what you were really
interested in was shutting us down and building your case. And I thought our hot dogs
were the things full of crap. Get out!
Mason looks around for Milo and cant find him so he somberly agrees to leave on his
own.
(18) Waiting for Mason outside the lobby is Milo with a duotang in his mouth.
!
Mason: Whats this?
Mason plucks it from Milos mouth and gives it a look. The title says Cart Location
Assignments.
!
Mason: These are the locations of every Destiny Dog cart! Milo I dont know
how to thank you for- oh wait a second.
Mason turns one of his pockets inside out and a pile of sand pours out. Milo twirls in it.
ACT 3
(19) Montage of Mason and Milo hitting every Destiny Dog cart in the city and
occasionally running into Kylie and Serena out on their dates.
(20) Kylie and her man finishing their day across from each other in a fancy restaurant.
They talk about how successful they were bringing down the company that was causing
all those peoples growth to stunt and skin to orangify. Her man keeps saying just how
grateful he was to be a part of it.
!
Kylie: Oh youre so sweet.
Serena and her man enter the fancy restaurant.
!
Serena: Thank you for opening me up to so many new experiences.

123

!
Serenas Man: Oh youre so sweet.
Serena and her man sit down at the table 3 feet away from Kylie and her man. They
notice each other.
!
Kylie: Serena.
!
Serena: Kylie.
!
Serenas Man: Perfect Ive always wanted to do the tables joined at a restaurant
thing. To new experiences! Right Serena?
!
Serena (hesitantly): Riiiiight.
Two servers begin to bring the tables together.
(21) Mason and Milo cross the last Destiny Dog cart off the list. The cart that gave
them powers isnt even a part of the company.
(22) Serena and Kylie banter back and forth about whose date was better, referencing
all the minor details of their day not shown on screen (ex. Serenas man teaching her
how to play guitar on a horse, Kylies man massaging her and feeding her jello while
she put together her case). Their arguments grow more heated until each are kicked
out. Their men stay behind to settle the bills, but will be right out.
(23) Mason and Milo walking back through the city. Mason throws out the duotang of
cart locations.
!
Mason: Well I guess this is it. We werent ever meant to figure out why it shows
up. Well at least theres one thing out there with a legitimate answer, the person who
won the date-off.
Mason types into his phone and immediately gets a response from Andre: Stalemate.
~Andre
!
Mason: Damn it... Milo?
Mason looks back and spots Milo staring across the street.
!
Mason: Cmon Milo I think my suitcase still has some dir-
Mason sees what Milos staring at. Its the cart, the Destiny Dogg cart and manning it
is the Silhouette Man.
!
Mason: Oh my god.
(24) Kylie and Serena discuss their behavior and admit that neither has honestly found
their day to be particularly romantic even though their dates hit all of the beats of what
they understood love to be. Kylie owned 100% of her relationship, Serena owned 0% of
hers. Maybe the proper way to do it is 50/50. Maybe you cant script love because part
of the chemistry is the unknown. And thats the best part, discovering.
(25) Cut to Mason cautiously approaching the Destiny Dogg cart as if not to spook it.
This is it! Here come the answers hes been waiting for.
!
Mason: Excuse me.
!
Silhouette Man (deep timbery voice): Hello Mason.
!
Mason (gulps): You know my name?
!
Silhouette Man: Of course I made you what you are.
!
Mason: Why?

124

!
Silhouette: Because Mason, you are one of the very few who are extraordinarily
super super super duper... gay.
Awkward Beat.
!
Mason: Wait what!?
(26) Serena and Kylie looking into the restaurant.
!
Serena/Kylie: Wait what!?
Reveal: Serenas man and Kylies man are making out at the table they were just sitting
at. Clearly they are each super super super duper gay.
!
Serena/Kylie: Damn it Andre!
(27) Mason shining his phone light into the hot dog cart.
!
Mason: Damn it Andre!
Andre is illuminated in the once shadows of the cart and he is having himself a good
chuckle.
!
Andre: Ha! You should have seen your face!
!
Mason: Dude do you know what year it is? How is that funny?
!
Andre: Lighten up, the joke was you questioning every fiber of your sexuality, I
love gays. In fact I just wrote maybe the greatest gay love story ever.
!
Mason: Why?
(28) Landlord swoops up behind Serena and Kylie as they stare through the glass at
their men making out.
!
Landlord: Ahem excuse me ladies, dont kill the messenger but Andre requests
you never question his writing again. Clipboard drop.
Landlord drops his clipboard. On it is a doodle of their two men staring at each other in
love and wrapped in a heart.
(29) Andre, Mason and Milo.
!
Andre: Cause sometimes its just fun to prove you can do something, even if it
doesnt lead anywhere... also knowing Kylie missed all the signs her man was gay fills
me with glee.
(30) Serena and Kylie walking the city together.
!
Kylie: So I mean maybe that was the problem with the chemistry on our dates.
!
Serena: Ya maybe.
!
Kylie: Hey look at that.
Across the street from them is the Destiny Dogg cart. The real one.
!
Kylie: You feel like a hot dog.
Beat.
!
Serena: Mmm...naaaa.
!
Notes: Add it aint nothin but a g thang?

125

(Homages: Rom Coms, Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory)


Interpretable Moral:
(1) Relationships are 50/50. Giving your entire self to someone is unhealthy and
demanding someone elses entire self is equally unhealthy.
(2) Sometimes beautiful things are made in ugly places. Ignorance is bliss.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Super Super Gay Couple
(-) Destiny Dogg carts
(+) Snoopifer Dogg

126

S01E07 - Repetition
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

127

Purpose: To showcase a interesting concept with a unique spin and add some
character driven tension to the group.
TEASER
(1) Andre wakes up to put your little hand in mine (I Got You Babe or something
similar) and is incredibly frustrated.
!
Andre: No no no no no!
Even Milo looks a little down.
(2) [zinger] Serena, Andre, Milo and Mason meet at the Coffeebucks before Kylie.
!
Andre (emotionless)(without looking back): 5-4-3-2-1-
CRASH! A barista in the back of the Coffeebucks drops a tray of mugs, shattering them
everywhere.
!
Andre: Its clear shes put us in some sort of Groundhog Day scenario!
!
Mason: Well we dont know for sure, shes never even seen the movie.
!
Andre: Thats impossible, no one has not seen Groundhog Day.
!
Serena: Bill Murray?
!
Mason: The blind?
!
Andre (to guy at another table drinking coffee): Hey dude you seen Groundhog
Day?
!
Coffee Drinking Guy: Hell ya Denzel was amazing in that movie!
!
Andre: No... ugh thats Training Day.
!
Coffee Drinking Guy: My n-
!
Andre: Dont say it.
Kylie strolls into Coffeebucks looking nervous.
!
Kylie: Oh hey guys did Serenas script already play out?
!
Andre: No, because her dictating that ridiculous!
Serena: Thank you-
!
Andre: -overproduced extravaganza to me takes hours. Hours Ive had to
repeat the last two nights because you set the day on repeat. You grounded us!
!
Kylie: Well lets not draw conclusions just-
!
Mason: Kylie did you Groundhog Day us?
!
Kylie: I dunno what that means.
!
Serena: Were stuck like this for pretty much eternity or we fix all the screwed up
stuff about us and the day stops repeating.
Beat.
!
Coffee Drinking Guy (genuinely): Hey where do you guys get your PCP?
Beat. (The Group giving him what the fuck man? looks)
!
Coffee Drinking Guy: Im asking... for a friend.
ACT 1
(3) Mason, Andre and Milo leave the Coffeebucks together. Andre is unhappy.
!
Mason: Cmon youre just mad because you actually have to admit youre not
perfect.

128

!
Andre: No Im mad because Kylie wanting a redo on her drivers test has cost us
our ability to simply script her having a drivers license.
!
Mason: Do you hear yourself, its that kind of immorality thats gonna hold us
back.
!
Andre: Says the guy who started all this because he wanted croissants and a
prostitute!
!
Mason: And Ive learned not to cross those. What have you learned?
!
Andre: I should have never ate that hot dog.
Andre and Milo ditch Mason on the curb. A geeky man in glasses approaches Andre.
!
Ned: Andre? Andre Lewis!? I thought that was you!
!
Andre: Already have Seor Obamacare Ned!
(4) Andre wakes up to (same radio song). He brushes his teeth and moves to leave the
bathroom. Milo is glaring at him from the bed.
!
Andre: What? Damn it. Wheres the floss?
Milo smiles a little bit with a quick nod of approval.
(5) Andre throws an orange juice container in the garbage. Milo glares.
!
Andre: Fine.
Andre takes the orange juice container out to the proper recycling bin.
(6) Andre eating waffles. Milo glares.
!
Andre: Really?
Andre switches the hands he was using his fork and knife with.
(7) Andre collapsing back onto his bed.
!
Andre: Milo how am I gonna do this?
Milo hops up and nuzzles against Andres head.
!
Andre: Okay.
(8) Montage of Andre working on his character traits Groundhog Day style. Learning to
play the guitar, saving several kids falling out of a tree, stopping two escaped convicts
assaulting a woman (ala Training Day), buying up insurance, putting money in homeless
peoples CARRIAGE bags, respecting and helping people out, etc.
(9) Andre coming to Mason and Serenas apartment with a casserole.
!
Andre: Hey I just wanted to apologize, I know I can be a little narcissistic at
times and hard to deal with, but Im really trying to be a better person.
!
Serena: Aw thanks Andre!
!
Mason: We should be out of the time cycle in no time at this rate.
!
Andre: Okay well I gotta go. I play Wonderwall for the terminal kids at the
childrens hospital in half an hour. I noticed some of them even make it to the end of the
day when Im there. Hope. What a concept.
Andre leaves the apartment.
!
Mason: Wow looks like hes really changing.
!
Serena: Ya when are you gonna start?

129

!
Mason: What? Im doing the whole vegan thing and I changed my facebook
profile picture in solidarity with...
!
Serena: Go on...
!
Mason: With you know, those oppressed people.
!
Serena: See thats your problem. Youre too self-righteous. Probably would
already be on the next day if you werent so uptight and needed to know everything.
!
Mason: Im- youre- but-
!
Serena: Truth lies within ya. Hey whats the opposite of an Italian Sit-off? Im
working on my crossword skills.
(10) Montage of Masons takes the opposite approach of Andres. Everything he does
is much more on the side of letting things slide and moral ambiguity. Not saying
anything when people cut in line or park badly, putting the orange juice container in the
garbage even though the recycling is 8 feet away, eating meat, changing facebook
profile to something normal, not caring when ex-convicts are robbing someone, etc.
(11) Mason coming to Andres apartment with a shark fin soup. Door opens, the
apartment is filled with incense smoke. Andre in silk robes.
!
Andre: Oh hey whats up brotha?
!
Mason: Just came by to say I totally dont care whether you change or not, I just
want you to be happy being you. Shark fin soup?
!
Andre: Umm thanks?
!
Mason: Youre welcome, or not welcome, however welcome you feel like being
cause I have no comment.
Mason leaves for home.
!
Andre (to Milo): Did that just-
Milo shrugs. He didnt understand it either.
(12) Mason exits Andres place and as he walks by Andres buildings alleyway, he
notices a mysterious dark figure creeping around in it. The silhouette exits on the far
side of the alley.
!
Mason: Cmon Mason you dont need to know everything... gah!
Mason pursues the figure.
(13) Mason follows the figure through the streets all the way back to his apartment.
Strange. The shadow enters his buildings alleyway, theres a clunk and it departs on the
other side. When Mason investigates where the clunk was he sees a metal box labeled
Internet Cable. He opens it. The cable has been snipped. Theres gotta be more to
this. He continues to tail the shadow all the way back to a walk up apartment building.
(14) Mason watches which apartments lights turn on and observes the window. No
god damn way! Its Kylie! He watches as she takes off a cloak and pulls out her laptop.
ACT 2

130

(15) Kylie gets a knock at her door. Her apartment is amazing now (its clear shes
been breaking the groups rules and has been scripting herself things). Shes wary. The
past two weeks of the day repeating there hasnt been a knock. She opens the door.
!
Kylie: Niblits.
Mason moves past her into the apartment. He starts agressively examining things.
!
Mason: So what have you been improving lately Kylie? Youre ability to set up a
Macys in your apartment?
!
Kylie: Look I can explain-
Mason picks up the weirdest utensil youre ever seen.
!
Kylie: Its an avocado slicer... it-
!
Mason: I can deduce what it does!
Mason spots the dvd of Groundhog Day. Kylie is starting to get teary-eyed now.
!
Mason: Open your laptop... and type in your password please.
She does so and a full screenplay pops up. Close up on the phrase Repeat Day.
!
Mason: I dont-
!
Kylie: I thought maybe it could help everyone work on themselves.
!
Mason: This is so you, just needing to get in everyones business.
!
Kylie: Youve seen him though right, everyday he becomes a better version of
himself, just like another week and we-
!
Mason: We?-
!
Kylie: Can pull the plug on this thing and maybe hell even continue that way.
Mason begins to look conflicted, Andre does seem like less of an asshole these days.
!
Kylie: Right? And Ill tell you what...
Kylie grabs a stack of cash wrapped in orange cellophane (ala Training Day) and tosses
it to Mason.
!
Kylie: In the meantime I know youre working on being less self-righteous, why
dont you treat yourself.
Mason tosses it back.
!
Mason: The only cheques I cash are the ones from the screenplays with M-A-SO-N on it... and they arent rapper-sized stacks, theyre just enough to get by. Ill give
you one more week of this. Then youre getting rid of all this and Serena gets her
ridiculous screenplay.
(16) Quick hits of the next few days Mason observing Andre exhaust all of his strength
into trying to do as many good deeds as possible.
(17) Mason, feeling guilty, confronts Andre and lets him know that maybe he can just
take a break, a day off. Andre refuses. Any time not spent improving himself is more
time it will take for the Groundhog Day to end. Mason insists he take a break.
!
Andre (suspicious): What do you know that I dont? Why arent you diligently
working on yourself? Wait wheres Kylie been- oh god damn it.
!
Mason: Yaaaa.
Mason explains that Kylie was trying to get Andre to work on his jerkishness to him.
Andre drops the nice guy demeanor he had been building.
!
Andre: Is that so...
!
Mason: Just bare with it for one or two more days and itll all be over.

131

(18) The next day Andre purposely runs into Kylie in the morning then comes up with
an excuse to partner up with her all day so they can each work on their respective
character attributes together.
(19) Montage of Andre forcing Kylie to do nice things all day with him.
(20) Nighttime and Mason notices Kylies cloaked figure in the alleyway cutting his
internet again. He chases after her to convince her to end it.
(21) In Coffeebucks at 11:00pm. Kylie exhausted and Andre looking as charged as he
has ever looked, wild-eyed.
!
Kylie: I really should be getting to bed if Im going to be up tomorrow to do good
things for the community. (trying to ditch so she can cut the internet cables and resend
the script)
!
Andre: But youll miss midnight mass.
!
Kylie: Well I guess, but its not like the cycle is going to end tonight so-
!
Andre: Hey I had a crazy idea. What if we wrote a new screenplay for tomorrow
right here.
Andre pulls out his a laptop and Kylie gets wide-eyed.
!
Andre (to barista): Excuse me do you know the wi-fi password?
(22) Mason follows the cloaked figure he believes to be Kylie back to her apartment,
but to his surprise she doesnt enter the building, she goes around into the alley. He
follows and what he sees shocks him.
(23) Back to Andre and Kylie.
!
Kylie: Look Andre I have something to tell you-
Mason blasts in the door breathless.
!
Mason: Kylie Andre knows.
!
Kylie: What!?
!
Andre: Dude this was my moment!
!
Mason: Bigger things to deal with! Turn on the news.
The news pops up to a press conference with the headline New Mayor Announced.
Vampire Police Chief levitates down behind the podium.
ACT 3
(24) Mason, Kylie and Andre watching Vampire Police Chief become Vampire Mayor on
the news.
!
Mason: We forgot he experiences the day over and over again too and hes
been using it to figure out how to run this city. I think he finally did because he went
around cutting all of our internet cords tonight including Kylies.
!
Kylie: He wanted this to be the final Groundhog Day so he could start the next
day as Vampire Mayor.
They go over how theyll have to repeat the day once more to stop him. Kylie and
Andre call a truce until this is over, but once it is therell be consequences.

132

(25) The next day Mason and Andre gather forces while Kylie and Milo observe
Vampire Police Chief.
All the people Andre learned to save (ex. the kids falling out of trees, terminal cancer
kids, insurance guy, etc.) hes able to get on his side.
(26) Kylie and Milo spy on Vampire Police Chief who meets with city officials. The City
Officials agree to make him mayor if he can get them a substantial amount of money.
(27) Mason and Andre gather Andres Crew. Chandelier Thug is among them.
!
Andre: Hey man have you noticed its been the same day over and over again
for like 3 weeks now?
!
Chandelier Thug: What!? Really? Eh, we just play basketball everyday
anyway.
(28) Vampire Police Chief gets Bank Robber to rob a bank for him. He has his money
to pay off the corrupt officials.
(29) The city officials are at a charity auction to rehabilitate ex-convicts. Vampire Police
Chief walks in with the money in a sack. Andre is playing keyboard (ala Groundhog
Day) and the rest are disguised around the room.
!
Kylie (to Vampire Police Chief): Going somewhere with that?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hello Kylie, this doesnt concern you.
!
Kylie: Oh but I think it does.
!
Mason: Now!
Andres Crew, the kids he saved and the insurance dude jump Vampire Police Chief, but
he levitates into the air and tries to escape. Andre is able to jump on his back from
stage height. He gets tossed around a little before being thrown to the ground. He has
the sack of money though.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Give it back Andre.
!
Andre: Or what. Youll miss your press conference?
A crowd begins to gather around them (many ex-cons in orange jumpsuits ala the
bloods from Training Day).
!
Vampire Police Chief (to ex-cons): First one to take care of them for me gets a
payday.
The convicts just shake their heads, theyre above this. The city officials start to walk
out.
!
Vampire Police Chief: City Officials! City Officials!
Andre donates the money to the Ex-con rehabilitation fund and the Group walks out
!
Vampire Police Chief: You think you can do this to me!? Im the police! I run shit
here! You just live here! Dracula aint got shit on me!
(30) Kylie, Andre and Mason the next day having a talk at Coffeebucks. Kylie betrayed
their trust and almost cost them the city. So as of now theyre no longer friends. Shes

133

just someone who comes to the writers group now. Kylie will also miss her turn the next
few times as head writer.
(31) Mason gets back to the apartment and Serenas in the middle of the living room.
!
Serena: Mason! It turns out I was the key!
!
Mason: What?
!
Serena: Its a new day and its all because yesterday I could finally do this for the
first time!
Serena puts her leg behind her head.
(XX) As credits roll
Notes: Add Serena mentioning Edge of Tomorrow + Kylie in the background of
Andre Scenes + Layers of VPC figuring out how to run the city
!
(Homages: Groundhog Day, Training Day)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) People will change when theyre good and ready to do so on their own terms.
(2) We all have things we can work on.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Insurance guy
(+) Inappropriate coffee drinker guy
(+) Terminally ill kids
(+) Tree kids
(+) Corrupt city officials
(+) Serenas ability to put her legs behind her head

134

S01E08 - Invasion
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

135

Purpose: To demonstrate that even well planned out scripts can be derailed from
unexpected actions and to develop Andres character.
TEASER
(1) Episode opens with a musical involving Serena, Milo and all the previous characters
to grace the show. A song and dance number that includes references to where all the
Highschool Musical-like shows have gone to and if Glee depleted the last ounce of
good will people had towards them.
(2) [zinger] Andre, Mason and Kylie drinking coffees and watching from the
Coffeebucks picture window. The musical can still be heard muffled by the pane of
glass as dancers and singers march by.
!
Kylie: Serenas episodes are so f(bleep)ing weird.
ACT 1
(3) Two days later Serena and Mason walk into the Coffeebucks wearing western attire.
!
Mason: Why do we meet here! Supermans homebase is the Fortress of
Solitude and even he would be like damn this Coffeebucks is so out of the way. And
where the hells Andre!?
!
Serena: I dunno he hasnt answered my text yet, maybe he forgot to write it.
!
Mason: Andre doesnt forget things, just think about how he holds grudges like
comfort blankets. Speaking of holding grudges...
Kylie (in western themed smock) approaches Serena and Mason.
!
Kylie: Hey so im not crazy-
!
Mason: Well...
!
Kylie: But didnt Andre say he wanted to do like a Django thing today?
Andre and Milo walk into Coffeebucks in matching camo pants and a wifebeaters.
!
Kylie: We were expecting the whole Western Motif you were talking about
yesterday...
!
Andre: Had a change of plans.
!
Serena / Kylie / Mason: To what?
Everything goes dark as if there was an unplanned solar eclipse. But eclipses dont
move that fast. The Group moves outside and looks up into the sky.
(4) Vampire Police Chief, Bank Robber and the police force move outside the police
palace to check whats in the sky.
(5) An enormous alien space craft hovers above the city and shoots down an energy
beam directly around the police palace, obliterating it (ala Independance Day)
(6) Back to Andre, Milo, Mason, Serena and Kylie.
!
Andre (wild-eyed): Time to be heroes!
Four flatbed trucks with gattling guns on the back roll up outside the Coffeebucks and
Andre and Milo hop on the back of one. Mason, Serena and Kylie havent moved from
beside the Coffeebucks door.

136

!
Andre: You... coming?
!
Mason: I think well sit this one out.
Andre looks a little heart broken.
!
Andre: Ok well cool, more glory for me an Milo.
Milo nuzzles Andre then hops off the truck to go back to Mason, Serena and Kylie.
!
Andre (to Milo): Ya Ill see you in a bit... (to flatbed driver) Alright lets go lets
go!
(7) Andre rolls up to a makeshift army base on the back of the flatbed. Waiting for him
are troops upon troops and Apache Attack Helicopters. Above him a firefight of F-15
Jets, Blackhawks, Apaches and alien fightercrafts light up the sky with fireworks,
explosion after explosion. Andre approaches a group of attentive soldiers waiting for
command.
!
Andre: Good morning gentlemen, hop everyone had their porridge this morning,
cause what were going to do today will almost surely be impossible, but if the fate of
humanity rests upon it, well then I like those odds. Were gonna fly right into their
hanger and plant the bomb!
(8) Cut to the group watching the sky from outside Coffeebucks. Serena sips from a
frappacino when an alien fightercraft crash lands into the street in front of them. Serena
offers her cool beverage as the alien emerges.
(9) An epic armada of helicopters fly in unison towards the space ship. Andre in the
lead bird. Until suddenly they halt progress. The dogfights above earth stop (humans
and aliens). Everyone gets word to stand down.
!
Andre: What!? Why!?
!
Helicopter Pilot: Peace treaty had been reached.
!
Andre: How!?
(10) Cut to Mason, Serena, Kylie and Milo with Alien w/frapaccinio at the police palace
crater offering the Alien Leader a tray of drinks (all frappacinos)
ACT 2
(11) Andre arrives at Mason and Serenas apartment frustrated and defeated. When he
walks in to his surprise Mason is playing video games with some aliens, Kylie is
discussing literature with them, Serena is selling them her art and Milo is playing with a
Chinchilla-like alien thing.
!
Andre: Whats going on?
!
Serena: Oh hey so guess what, it turns out the aliens arent here to invade, they
were just looking for a cool place to vacation. (whisper) And theyre willing to overpay
for everything!
Andre makes an ass of himself and then ditches the group with their new alien friends to
hang with his crew.
(12) Andre visits his crew to find theyre playing basketball with the aliens.

137

(13) Andre passes insurance guy talking with aliens.


(14) Andre passes Super Super Gay Couple on a double date across from aliens.
(15) Serena after selling another painting to the Alien President, is asked to be the
Aliens guide to earth/ambassador due to her chill nature.
(16) Andre runs into Vampire Police Chief and Bank Robber who also wants the aliens
gone.
!
Andre: Due to them destroying the police station?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Yaaa sure, for that.
!
Bank Robber: I thought it was because you thought their breath was garlicky.
!
Vampie Police Chief (whisper)(to Bank Robber): Shut up, this makes more
sense plot-wise.
!
Andre: I wrote them to be evil and I know they are.
(17) KNOCK KNOCK! Mason opens the apartment door. Outside is Landlord and an
alien. Landlord looks serious.
!
Landlord: I found this guy snoopin around outside doing the most evil thing
imaginable... watering my azaleas without a cool glass of lemonade! And I thought
maybe the rest of ya would need some quenchin!
ACT 3
(18) Serena shows the President Alien around the world in his ultrasonic landcruiser
ship explaining all the potential vacation locations with Serena-esque commentary.
!
Serena: And thats Rio De Janeiro...
!
President Alien: And whos that?
!
Serena: That big statue they have down there is Jesus, people probably wont
believe in him now that you guys are here. Although I guess he was asking for it with
that Come At Me Bro stance.
(19) Milo in a Come At Me Bro stance looking very serious. Alien chinchilla thing doing
the same. They run and jump at each other and start to play fight and hop around the
living room like two newly acquainted felines. Mason and Kylie are still entertaining
their alien guests.
!
Kylie (to Mason): Im a little worried about Andre.
!
Mason: Ok hes not you. He will rationally come to his senses about the whole
thing and let bygones be bygones.
(20) Montage of Andre, Bank Robber and Vampire Police Chief going over plan intercut
with scenes from that plan. Step One: The aliens gravity lift/explosive energy beam is
turned off for the night. Step Two: Relabel the old prison as a puppy orphanage. Step
Three: Vampire Police Chief floating up into the alien spacecraft and stealthily making
his way to the control room later that night while everyones asleep to realign the
spacecraft over the puppy orphanage. Step Four: In the morning when the gravity lift is
turned on again itll wipe out the orphanage and be seen as an act of terrorism.

138

(21) Mason, Kylie and Milo and their alien friends who crashed at their apartment wake
up to the sound of an explosion (the puppy orphanage being destroyed). They all
receive messages on their phones / intergalactic transponders.
!
Kylie: What!? No way/
Kylie looks out the window and dogfighting has started again over the city. Mason,
Kylie, Milo and the aliens stare down each other knowing both their races are at war.
!
Mason: Should we- oh shit!
The aliens leap at Mason, Kylie and Milo and immobilize them in their doughnut holes.
(22) Serena and President Alien get the call as they are above the arctic.
!
Serena: Ok my bad I havent actually been up here before but I was pretty sure
there would be like a Mock Santas Workshop, an ice hotel or like a commemorative
north pole.
!
President Alien: No worries our race is quite chill, lets just consider this a prank
and you got me real good!:
!
Serena (giggles): President Alien we gotta hang out more often.
BEEP BEEP
Serena and President Alien get messages on their phones and intergalactic
transponders.
!
President Alien: Hmm I dont suppose this is another of your pranks.
!
Serena (serious): Afraid not.
(23) Andre in front of the army again.
!
Andre: Okay this time were gonna get it right! No more being persuaded that
these things are here for peace. Theyre not. Thats been a fact from the beginning and
we end it all today.
Andre and his army of apache helicopters fly directly for the spaceship. On the ground
aliens in mechanized suits (resembling octopuses) quarrel with tanks.
(24) Vampire Police Chief watches from outside the city limits with his vampire children
as if the dogfights and explosions were fireworks that they would enjoy.
(25) Andres helicopter and several others land inside the spaceships aircraft hanger.
The donut aliens start to enlarge and squeeze around the helicopters, crushing them in
the middle and making them useless. Army men try to shoot the aliens but their rapid
expansion turns out to be a great defense for avoiding bullets. Other aliens immobilize
the army men (they dont seem to be interested in killing). Andre ignores this and
makes his way to the power core room.
(26) Mason, Kylie and Milo are all still immobilized while the war goes on outside.
!
Mason: Huh.
!
Kylie: What?
!
Mason: Oh I just figured our part in this would be more dramatic thats all.
!
Alien with free mouth: Like a Mexican Standoff?

139

!
Mason: That would have been amazing. Both of us wouldnt really know what to
do because we like each other but our commanders seem interested in war. Would
have been like The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, except none of us are nazis. You arent
nazis are you?
!
Alien with free mouth: Are you referring to the original nazis because looking
through your history your race likes to label many people with that title.
!
Kylie: Ya its kind of like the white peoples n-word.
!
Alien with free mouth: Gotcha.
Beat.
!
Mason: Sooo...
(27) Serena and President Alien approach the city as the dogfights produce fireworks
above it all. President ALien laughs nervously.
!
President Alien: Gotcha... the world will never believe that will they?
!
Serena: Nah most of us really arent that chill. You guys will probably get called
nazis a bunch more now.!
!
President Alien: I just dont understand how our spaceship got above that puppy
orphanage.
!
Serena: I have an idea...
(28) Andre plants the explosive and returns to the bay. There are no more helicopters
to get away in and all of the army men have been immobilized. An alien general stands
before the human hostages.
!
Alien General: We mean you no harm human.
!
Andre: Yes you do. You just cant do it because thats how you were written.
!
Alien General: Look I have my PHD in Humanology, and honestly that didnt
make a whole lot of sense to me. Seems like a stretch to-
Andre runs directly at him.
!
Andre: Damn right its a stretch!
Andre grabs the Alien General and loops the donut hole around a pole then dives out
the hanger. The Alien General stretches further and further down from the space craft.
!
Alien General (corner of his mouth): Too thin, too thin!
A huge explosion from the hanger. The bomb went off in the power core. This is it!
Alien General and Andre begin to fall to earth. Half of Alien Generals body has been
blown away in the explosion and his donut self is now a semi circle. Andre grabs a hold
of both remaining ends and uses him as a parachute as he glides to earth. For some
reason the entire ship is not exploding though.
!
Andre: Wait theres supposed to be more! More!
Andre lands on the ground in the original police station crater before President Alien,
Serena, Mason, Kylie and Milo, who all look fairly upset. Theres a news crew present.
!
Serena (the most serious shes ever been): Andre explain yourself right now.
!
Andre: I-
!
Serena: No excuses! Just admit what youve done. We all move on.
!
Andre: I set the aliens up so I could destroy them and look like a hero.
!
Serena: Can you apologize please.
!
Andre: Im sorry.

140

!
President Alien: Apology accepted.
President Alien and Serena walk away from the group.
!
President Alien: Its a damn good thing we bought all of that insurance yesterday
huh. Hey what was that great place with the Indian food?
!
Serena: India.
!
President Alien: Ooo ya lets go there for lunch.
They disappear from the scene. General Alien is rushed away on a stretcher.
!
Andre: What happened? I planned everything so carefully.
!
Kylie: Mason and I thought you might do something stupid so we changed the
schematics of the spaceship in the screenplay for today. We know it wasnt really our
day to write and that Im not exactly allowed to write for a while, but what you were
doing could have really jeopardized things. So what you actually blew up might have
been their thrusters, meaning theyre here for a while. Im sorry.
Kylie makes her way off the scene.
!
Mason: Look Andre-
!
Andre: No!
Mason: What?
!
Andre: Dont tell me about how many lives are or were going to be lost.
!
Mason: But-
!
Andre: Dont you get it! None of this is real! There is no more reality Mason!
!
Mason (calmly): Does it matter? For the time being it is. So get used to it.
Maybe stop trying to be such a hotshot and do something that will do some good in this
world. Maybe youre not the writer we all thought you were and you screwed up this
time.
Mason walks off scene leaving Milo and Andre looking at each other.
!
Andre (emotional): Milo?
Milo looks at Andre with disappointment, then hops to catch up with Mason and the
group.
(29) Andre walking through the city spotting the aliens peacefully coexisting with all the
humans. He knows theyre evil. They have to be. He sees one alone on a curb. Andre
has rage in his eyes and begins to walk aggressively towards the alien. Thats when he
notices a cab fly by. Then another. And another. The alien is trying to hail a cab. And
none of them will pick him up. Andre loses his aggression and just watches for a
moment. He looks at the back of his hands. He walks up beside the alien and hails. A
cab stops.
!
Cab Alien: Split?
!
Andre: No man, its all yours.
(30) As the cab drives away we zoom out (crane shot style) all the way above the city
and the spaceship (not far enough to reveal what city or area of america were in
though)
Notes: Add why Andre went with design he did + Narwhals sticking into
everything

141

(Homages: Alien Invasion Movies, District 9)


Interpretable Moral:
(1) No ones infallible.
(2) Reserve judgment.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) The army
(+) Aliens
(+) Narwhals sticking out of everything
(+) President Alien
(+) General Alien

142

S01E09 - Notation
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

143

Purpose: To demonstrate how far the groups come and to introduce Andres struggle.
TEASER
(1) We open to a dewy morning in Ambi City when suddenly a business person with
brief case flies though the air. Followed by another and another. Then an ex-convict
and an alien.
(2) All around the city are routes of trampolines for transit and everyone seems to be
ecstatic about using them (they run along monorail-like tracks with two beside each
other for back and forth traffic).
(3) [zinger] Mason, Kylie, Serena and Andre watch the newscast at Mason and
Serenas apartment claiming single day record low for pollution as people transition to a
trampoline based morning commute. Milo gleefully bounces by the living rooms picture
window.
!
Kylie: Milo gets big points for this one.
!
Andre: Woah how about me? Im the one that had to decipher his charades to
write this one. You know how hard the term trampoline is to get when all he even does
is bounce around anyway!?
ACT 1
(4) Establishing shot of Coffeebucks as Milo and several other characters bounce by
outside on the trampolines.
!
Andre (O.S.): Even by trampoline this place is so far away!
(5) Andre, Serena, Kylie and Mason sitting around the Coffeebucks.
!
Mason: But ultimately worth it today! Andre.
!
Serena: Kylie.
Beat.
Kylie and Andre look confused as if theyre missing something. Then DING! It clicks for
Andre!
!
Andre: Holy shit! Its our birthday!
!
Kylie: What? No its not its- oh damn ya I guess it is!
!
Mason: Ya bet you forgot how far those Groundhog Day days took us.
!
Serena: Anyway we got you something.
Serena and Mason hand Kylie and Andre their own individually wrapped scripts. They
open them immediately.
!
Andre: What! No!
!
Mason: Yep!
Kylie starts to cry and Serena swoops in.
!
Serena: Oh damn, were sorry we really wanted to give you something special
too but werent sure what you-
!
Kylie: No this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.
!
Mason: Only because when we were going out you had a registry for boyfriend
approved gifts.

144

!
!
!

Kylie (happy tears)(to Mason): Shut up... and thank you.


Andre: So will we get to meet them?
Mason: Youre god damn right we will.

(6) Establishing shot of everyone trampolining towards Ambi Citys stadium. Outside is
a sign that reads Red Hot Chilli Peppers tonight with special guests Mozart (The
Mozart) and the Sciptonauts!
(7) The Sciptonauts (Mason, Andre, Kylie, Serena and Milo if it wasnt already obvious),
coming off stage to a roaring applause from the audience, meet Chad Smith before he
and the Chilli Peppers go up.
!
Chad Smith: Hey you guys had a great set, especially you (to Andre) on those
keys man. Really gave the opening act a run for his money.
!
Andre: Nothing compared to your drumming.
!
Chad Smith: Speaking of which, my band needs that gluey Chad-rhythm if were
gonna shake this place to the ground. You guys should come hang out in the green
room after though.
!
Andre (flabberghasted): Y-ya definitely!
Chad Smith and the RHCP step on the stage. Kylie strolls over to mozart (her present).
!
Kylie: Hey I just wanted to say it is such an honour.
!
Mozart: Honour is all mine (kisses hand).
Kylie blushes and gets giddy.
!
Kylie: That Rhianna cover you did was amazing. What inspired it?
!
Mozart: She strikes me as the me of this generation. In fact I wouldnt think
youd get much closer then We found love in a hopeless place to a Serenade in Gmajor.
Kylie is basically in love.
(8) The Group hanging out with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers in the green room.
!
Mason (whispers)(to Andre): Okay confession, opening for and hanging out with
the Red Hot Chilli Peppers wasnt the actual gift.
!
Andre: Mason youve already done way more then I could ever ask for.
!
Mason: No no no, Im your brother-
!
Andre: Brotha.
Mason smiles.
!
Mason: And I want this to be a birthday to remember. So without revealing the
world to be production I persuaded Chad to write his fantasy screenplay for tomorrow.
!
Andre: What!?
!
Mason: Were going to live a rock stars fantasy! Our wildest yet!
Meanwhile Serena is chatting it up with Chad and the rest of the band while Kylie sits in
Mozarts lap and makes out with him.
(9) The next day Kylie wakes up in the middle on her air mattress surrounded by
condom wrappers.
!
Kylie: Good morning gorgeous, how bout I- oh.
Kylie notices Mozart is no longer there.

145

Kylie: Hmm well I guess it was just a one day thing.

(10) The same opening shot of the episode (a dewy morning) except no one flies by as
if jumping on a trampoline and some of the saturation is drained from the animation.
We tilt down and see that everyone has chosen to walk in the most boring ritualized way
possible.
(11) Mason, Andre and Serena walking through Ambi CItys central park.
!
Serena: Told you hed be here.
Chad Smith sits on a park bench feeding bread to a cluster of ducks in a pond. No one
recognizes him.
ACT 2
(12) Mason, Andre and Serena approach Chad on the park bench.
!
Chad Smith: I dont know how you guys did it but thank you. My fantasy has
always been to have one peaceful day of anonymity and youve given it to me.
!
Andre: Ya... no problem man.
!
Mason: And in that script you wrote does the peaceful day end with a rager of a
party?
!
Chad Smith: I thought maybe a nice green tea would be the perfect cap at a
coffee house where I can read my book and do a crossword.
!
Mason: Coooool... ok then. (whispers)(to Andre) Sorry dude, this was supposed
to-
!
Andre: Dont worry about it.
!
Mason: Hey Chad were gonna-
Serena and him are having a deep conversation.
!
Chad Smith: Oh sorry- whats up?
!
Mason: Were gonna leave ya to your peace and quiet.
Serena gets up and gets between Mason and Andre.
!
Serena: I hope you two dont mind, I know hes your idol and everything, but him
and I were gonna do some yoga in a bit.
!
Andre: Yog away my friend.
!
Serena: Yay!
(13) Andre, Mason, Milo and Kylie (working) at the Coffeebucks.
!
Mason: I mean I guess I should have seen it coming. His lifestyle is so
rambunctious I suppose his fantasy would be the opposite of it.
!
Andre (to Kylie): And what are you so giddy about?
!
Kylie: Well Mason knows.
!
Mason: What? No I dont.
!
Kylie: So you didnt script Mozart to fall in love with me for one night of amazing
and infinitely passionate sex?
!
Mason: Ew, gross, no!
!
Kylie: Oh... well it happened. (sighs) Is it wrong that I really want to write him
back again?
!
Andre: Yep.

146

!
Kylie: Well-
!
Andre: Because you dont have to, hes still here.
Mozart walks through the Coffeebucks front doors with three models on his arms (one is
the blonde bombshell from the pilot). Kylie is stunned.
!
Mozart: Oh thats right! Thats who recommended this place. How you doing
Halle?
!
Kylie: Its... Kylie.
!
Mozart: Uh huh well could you grab us hmm... (to models) maciato? Maciato?
Maciat- wait no. You look like more of an Espresso con Panna girl. Am I right? Ya I
am! (to Kylie) And a buttermilk frappacino for me... with the low fat whipcream. And
dont give me the regular and tell me its low fat, Im no charlaton I can tell the
difference!
Kylie is speechless. Mason, Andre and Milo hang in the silence frozen.
!
Mozart: Hey a piano! Mind if I play?
(14) The next day the group wakes up and everything is still incredibly boring and even
more of the saturation drained from the animation. Mason, Andre, Kylie, and Milo meet
at Coffeebucks. Mozart is already there serenading an increasingly large group of hot
girls.
!
Kylie: He should have gone away by now right?
!
Mason: Well get to the bottom of this.
(15) Mason and Andre approach Chad Smith, Serena and Landlord doing yoga in the
park.
!
Mason: Oh hey guys. Whats going on?
!
Chad Smith: Well you know how you got me to write a screenplay for my fantasy
the other day and it came true? I tried it again last night and check it out! Double
whammy!
!
Andre: Greeeeaaaaat.
(16) Kylie coldly stares at Mozart who is putting a spell on the ladies around him and
making out with them in the middle of the coffee shop. Kylie is heartbroken and angry.
She feels used. Milo nuzzles her from her shoulder.
!
Kylie (to manager): Im taking my break Sheila.
Kylie walks outside with Milo.
!
(17) Kylie and Milo outside of Coffeebucks.
!
Kylie: I dont need him. Never in a million years would I date a guy who only
cares about one bang anyway!
Reveal: Blonde bombshell is standing next to her.
!
Blonde Bombshell: Hey do you have a light?
!
Kylie: No.
!
Blonde Bombshell: Baked goods?
!
Kylie: Inside!
!
Blonde Bombshell: Cool.
Blonde bombshell returns inside. Kylie spots a cockroach crawling across the ground.

147

!
Kylie: Like a tiny Mozart...
Kylie squashes the bug.
(18) The next day more saturation is drained and the world is even more boring. Chad
Smith in the park again with Serena and Landlord reading newspapers on a bench.
(19) Mozart has even more ladies surrounding him in the Coffeebucks.
(20) Another day goes buy and theres more saturation drained. Chad Smith, Serena
and Landlord in the park meditating.
(21) Mozart has practically filled the Coffeebucks with adoring fans.
(22) Mason, Andre, Kylie and Milo meet to discuss the plan of action as the episode
takes on a much more noir feel (hard lighting).
!
Mason: We dont know how Chad is able to do it-
!
Andre: Doesnt seem like he even ate one of the hot dogs.
!
Mason: But hes writing screenplays now and each one is a little more boring
then the last. Hes got to go.
!
Kylie: Hes got to go?! What about Mozart? I have to stare at him all day
seducing other women!
!
Andre (solemnly): I think I have a way we can solve both our problems.
Milo does not look impressed.
ACT 3
(23) Mason and Andre stroll into the Coffeebucks in trench coats. Everything is in black
and white. Mozart is playing the playing the piano but has lost the groupies.
!
Andre: You wonder where they all went dont ya slick.
!
Mason: Had em in the palm of your hand and they slipped didnt they?
!
Mozart: Bunch of two-faced broads. The lot of them.
!
Andre: Maybe...
!
Mozart: Maybe? What you talkin about maybe?
!
Mason: Well lets just say we know a guy who knows a guy who knows the guy
your gals are swooning over.
!
Mozart: Im listening...
(24) Mason, Andre and Mozart watch Chad Smith, Serena, Landlord, Milo and all of the
groupies as they do tai-chi in the middle of the park.
!
Andre: Theres your man.
!
Mozart: I shall bring a coda to his life.
Mason and Andre give each other nods of approval. It worked.
!
Mozart: That slimy, what do you call him, an Asiandian?
!
Mason: Oh no no no! The guy beside him.
!
Mozart: The Will Ferrell lookalike?
!
Andre: How do you even know that reference?

148

!
Mozart: I find the easiest way to get right to the banging is to put on a terrible
netflix comedy.
!
Andre: Touche.
!
Mozart: So what must I do now?
(25) Early morning the next day Chad Smith is waiting on the bench for the rest of his
chill crew (Serena and people). He tosses a little more bread to the ducks then slinks
back to reveal Mozart sitting right beside him.
!
Mozart: Hello there, Chad.
!
Chad Smith: Oh hi, you come for the yoga or the bocce ball?
!
Mozart: The ducks.
!
Chad Smith: I like the ducks.
!
Mozart: Oh I know you do. Just keep staring at them.
(26) Vampire Police Chief with his vampire children strolling through the park.
!
Vampire Police Chief: You guys are in for a real treat, I have it on good authority
that one of daddys favorite drummers, excluding Neal Pert, is gonna be hanging out
here today.
A hissing sound squeaks out of one of his kids head holes.
!
Vampire Police Chief: There he is! Across the pond! How bout we go get an
autograph and then I take you out for some frozen blood cream?
BANG! Vampire Police Chief looks up in time to see Chad Smith slumped over (gun
shot to the head [ala Of Mice and Men]) and Mozart running away. He runs up to Chad
Smith with his children and tells them to stay put while daddy catches the bad guy.
Chads blood is the only colour gracing the screen. It stands out sharply.
(27) Mason, Andre and Kylie watch from a distance (the edge of the park) as everything
plays out. None of them look very happy about what just went down.
!
Mason: Wow, cant believe it was so easy to convince Mozart to murder.
!
Andre: Cold blooded.
!
Kylie: Warm semened though.
!
Mason: Ugh, gross.
!
Andre: Wait check it out.
(28) Serena and Landlord stroll up to Chads body just as Vampire Police Chief and his
kids get there.
!
Vampire Police Chief: It was Mozart.
!
Serena: Wow not very chill at all Mozart.
!
Vampire Police Chief: I need your help, Serena will you help me catch the killer?
Landlord will you watch my children.
!
Serena: I mean I guess I dont have an afternoon planned anymore, sure.
!
Landlord: Oh I love kids!
!
Vampire Police Chief: Perfect.
(29) Mason, Andre and Kylie watch as Vampire Police Chief and Serena chase after
Mozart.

149

!
Mason: Niblits! Do we know for sure if Mozart would kill anyone else if
provoked.
!
Andre: I think at this point we can be certain hed do anything for the hoes.
Mason and Andre turn to Kylie who is gone. They look around and spot her
trampolining in the direction of Serena and Vampire Police Chief.
(30) Milo is bouncing around the city by himself occasionally pausing in moments of
loneliness. He spots Mozart running through a crowd of people on the street down
below and decides to trail by trampoline from above.
(31) Serena and Vampire Police Chief chase Mozart down an ally way. Him and his
ridiculous white powder wig have no where left to run.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Give up now scoundrel.
The man in in the wig turns around and reveals a second man. Its the super super gay
couple.
!
Super Super Gay Guy #1: Um do you mind.
!
Super Super Gay Guy #2: Its like how are you even supposed to have a sexy
alley kiss anymore?
Serena and Vampire Police Chief are baffled. CLICK CLICK!
!
Mozart: Nice try coppers, but I dont see me being taken in anytime soon.
Mozart emerges from behind a dumpster with a Tommy-gun. He points it at Serena.
Youre gonna let me walk or the girl gets it.
!
Vampire Police Chief: You dont know my record very well do you?
!
Mozart: To be honest mostly everything around me has been confusing... full
pianos on tiny squares of glass!?
Mozart pulls out a smart phone and shakes it.
!
Mozart: You understand Im not from this time period right?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Was murder okay in your time period?
!
Mozart: Mostly frowned upon. Ya kind of like your face right-
!
Serena: Now Milo!
Milo leaps from above right onto Mozarts Tommy-gun. He drops it and it sprays a few
rounds, but nothing too serious. A moment later Mozart ducks into the alley door of the
old brick building behind him. Serena, Milo and Vampire Police Chief chase after him.
(32) Kylie, Andre and Mason finally make it to the alley. The Super Super Gay Couple
is still there.
!
Andre: Hey you guys see Serena?
!
Super Super Gay Guy #1: She went in there hun.
Kylie, Mason and Andre enter the old building. Mason pops back out.
!
Mason: Hey what are you guys doing in this alley anyway?
!
Super Super Gay Guy #2: No reason.
The door on the other side of the alley opens. Its an old guy with a moustache and a
big bag of something. He walks by two bins labeled Garbage and Recycling before
tossing the bag in a bin marked Leather. When he returns inside the Super Super Gay
Couple grab the bin marked leather and start to silently wheel it out of the alley.

150

(33) Inside the building its dark and cobwebby. Venetian blinds are everywhere, in fact
the walls would be made of venetian blind if it were structurally stable. Kylie, Mason
and Andre begin to pull one venetian blind after another, revealing the contents of each
room (all black and white things [ex. chess board, oreos, dairy cow, Vampire Police
Chief reading a newspaper).
!
Vampire Police Chief: Let me know when you catch this Mozart guy and Ill take
him away for you. Right now hes doing a hostage thing that Im not really feeling.
(34) They finally open up the right door and in the middle of an interrogation room is
Serena (tied up) with Mozart holding a gun by to her head under some harsh lighting.
!
Mozart: So its come to this...
(35) Cut to Mozart being stuffed into the back of a police cruiser.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well that seemed easy.
!
Kylie: Ya he didnt understand that the gun app on the phone was not an actual
working gun.
Vampire Police Chief slaps the hood of the cruiser twice and Bank Robber (driving it)
rolls off with Mozart in custody.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well I better get back to the kids, too much Red Hot Chilli
Pepper blood and theyll be up all night.
Vampire Police Chief soars away. Serena and Milo hop off together.
!
Serena (to Milo): Thanks dude you saved my bacon! Ear scratches? Ear
scratches!? Aw ya someones getting ear scratches!
!
Andre (to Mason): Im gonna take some alone time.
!
Mason: Ya ok.
Andre leaves the scene.
!
Kylie (to Mason): I know things got a little bonkers, but this birthday was the very
first time anyone ever thought of what to get me. Before that it was just stacks of
money and gift cards. So thank you.
!
Mason: Hold that thank you I have one more surprise.
!
Kylie: Look I dont need another-
Mason pulls out a signed copy of Erin Brockovich and hands it to Kylie.
!
Kylie: But you hated me when you saw her.
!
Mason: You dont pass up a perfect gift just because you hate someone. Hate
disappears just as quickly as opportunity.
Kylie hugs Mason.
!
Mason: Got one more thing to fix.
(36) Andre sitting on the park bench near the pond. Dried Chad Smith blood sticks to
the seat beside him and the ground. Mason drops by.
!
Mason: Hey Im sorry man I had no idea it would end up this way.
Beat.
!
Andre: Dont worry about it.
!
Mason: Ok then.
Mason leaves his friend to his thoughts. Midnight passes and everyone starts to
trampoline again. Saturation returns to the animation.

151

!
Andre: Hmmmm...
Milo jumps in front of Andre on a trampoline searching for Andres mood. Andre smiles
and Milo is content to continue his bouncing fun. Andre returns to apathy as soon as
Milo is from eyeshot. Andre pulls out his notepad and tosses it into the pond. He then
breaks out a flask, pours some liquor onto Chad Smiths dry blood and takes a swig by
himself.
(Homages: Of Mice and Men, Noir Films, Sin City)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Never meet your heroes and certainly dont let them script your universe
unless you want to be disappointed.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Trampoline transit
(+) Mozart
(-) Chad Smith

152

S01E10 - Corkification
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

153

Purpose: To demonstrate a heavily dialogue driven episode, character development


and address unanswered questions about the series so far.
TEASER
(1) [zinger] We begin with Andre, Serena, Kylie, Mason and Milo at Coffeebucks
getting ready for the St. Patricks day party at Andres Crews loft (the biggest party of
the year!) because their buildings owned by the Irish so anything goes.
!
Andre: Cmon lets hurry up it this is literally my favorite night of the year!
!
Kylie (to Mason): What exactly is so special about this particular party?
!
Mason: Well you know how Andres Crew all live in the same building?
!
Kylie: Ya...
!
Mason: Well their landlord is Irish so St. Patricks Day is the one night a year
where theyre allowed to throw the wildest party. And this year is the 5th anniversary of
said party.
!
Serena: Oh my god I hope they do jello shots again! Except without that ho that
got in my grill about taking them.
!
Mason (whispering)(to Kylie): It was actually a Jello wrestling pool, we just let
her have that one.
!
Andre: By the way Kylie youre on probation for this party.
!
Kylie: Wh-
!
Andre: Im serious, you do one thing to screw up this night...
Behind him outside the picture window a green fog starts to encompass the street.
Mason notices.
!
Mason: Uh Andre?
!
Andre: And I will script your personal hell into a-
!
Mason: Yo Andre!
!
Andre: What?!
!
Mason: Did you an Serena coordinate another weed cloud for tonight?
!
Andre: No wh-
Andre notices the green mist outside. Hippies seem to be running away from the cloud
instead of towards it.
!
Serena: I dont think thats a weed cloud.
!
Mason: Wait so if neither of us did it...
Mason, Serena, Andre and Milo turn towards Kylie who looks mortified.
!
Mason: Kylie what did you do?
!
Kylie: Okay dont be mad because it- it wasnt supposed to come this early...
!
Serena: Ha cum this early...
Beat.
!
Kylie: But I noticed a cockroach the other day and thought it might be cool to
fumigate the downtown while we partied all night.
Andre glances at the clock on the wall (it says 5:30) and then at Kylie.
!
Andre: And what time did you script it for?
!
Kylie: 6:30pm I swear! I dont know why its so early, we were supposed to have
more than enough time to get there!

154

!
Andre (to Manager behind counter): Hey Sheila, you say anything to Kylie about
her working extra hours this week.
!
Sheila: Nada, just felt unfortunate to have to.
!
Kylie: What? I didnt-!
!
Andre: Let me ask you something Kylie. When you were living with your parents
and servants, did you ever notice that once a year youd feel extra rested and once a
year youd feel like you hadnt gotten enough sleep?
!
Kylie: Um I guess. I dont see what th-
!
Andre: The reason I ask is because I wanted to be sure it wasnt a malicious act
of yours that ruined this night, it was an ignorant one.
!
Kylie: I still dont-
!
Mason: Oh my god daylight savings you idiot! You never rolled your clocks
ahead an hour. Its 6:30pm right now.!
!
Serena: Which means were stuck here until midnight.
Beat.
!
Sheila (twirling finger)(sarcastic): Yaaaaay.
ACT 1
(2) Andres on the phone with his crew who have started the party.
!
Andre: Ya you can see the poison cloud from your roof? No Im pretty sure it
would just kill us. No. No Im not gonna do that. Ill let you know as soon as we figure
our way out of this. Deuces.
Andre hangs up the phone. Trapped in the Coffeebucks is Andre, Mason, Serena, Milo,
Kylie, Shelia and Coffee Drinker Guy.
!
Mason (to Kylie): Why would you do this? Youre writing privileges were
temporarily revoked. Do you remember?
!
Kylie: I- I just thought-
!
Andre: There was no thinking involved!
!
Coffee Drinking Guy: Well if this is what you guys are gonna do Im gonna take
my chances with the poison and head for that bar across the street, cheers!
Coffee Drinking Guy walks out the front door into the poison cloud and confidently takes
a few steps out into the street. The group watches from the picture window.
!
Serena: Huh... well I guess it is just bug poison, must not be very harmful to-
Coffee Drinker Man starts to convulse in the street and hits the ground, legs and arms
comically raised into the air with Xs for eyes. Moments later Vampire Police Chiefs
vampire children emerge from the poison and drag him from visibility (presumably to eat
him).
!
Andre: God damn it! The one day I was looking forward to not having to think
about all this crap thats been going on!
!
Mason: Ok well hold up there might be another way out.
!
Serena: What if we let the poison in here and then took all this clean air with us
through the city?
Everyone looks at her like ...really?
!
Kylie: Wait wait wait! No she has something. With enough to-go cups of fresh
air we would be able to make it a short distance through the poison.
!
Mason: And go where?-

155

!
Andre: To the bar across the street. They might have entry to the sewers.
!
Kylie: Exactly! We just need one of us to scout it and make sure things are-
The whole group is glaring down Kylie. She is the scout.
(3) Mason finishing tying custom ice-coffee-lid-goggles to Kylies forehead. Serena in
the background swooping cups around to catch air. Andre staring out the window. Milo
and Sheila watching a news report with the headline Weed Cloud 2.0... Nope. The
anchor people go on to report deaths of people expecting another weed cloud.
!
Mason: And there. Perfect. Your eyes look like chilled mocha lattes on ice
under these babies.
!
Kylie: Thanks for being so cool about all this, I really am sorry.
!
Mason: Oh Im not being cool, I just dont want you to be haunting me as a ghost
after you die on this incredibly stupid and dangerous mission.
!
Kylie: Flattering.
The group droops a sash over her shoulder with a dozen oxygen filled coffee containers
stuck to it. The group banters a bit and finally Kylie steps out the front door, sucks in the
air of one her cups and disappears into the mist.
(4) Kylie manages to cross the street before taking in her next air-cup. Outside the bar
is a homeless man beside a CARRIAGE bag with his arms and legs comically up in the
air.
(5) Andre, Serena, Milo and Mason watch from the window, Sheila naps in the
background.
!
Serena: Hey you guys think the poison counts as an upper or a downer?
!
Mason: Jesus Serena... downer.
!
Serena: You sure, cause it got that one dude dancing like he was on
cokecstacy.
!
Andre: Hate to break it to you but those were involuntary spasms.
!
Serena: Ya ya whatever you call it when black people boogie, Im sayin the dude
had moves.
(6) Kylie pushes open the bar door and stumbles in to find all of its patrons belly up.
The bar is an exact animated replica of Cheers and each corresponding character has
their arms and legs in the air with Xs for eyes. Looks like the poison seeped in. She
takes another air cup and heads to the back of the bar. Theres a room labeled
Basement/Sewer. She looks at it with hesitant eyes.
(7) Andre playing sad minor chords on the piano when Kylie bursts through the
Coffeebucks doors and seals them behind her, gasping for breath. The group rushes up
to her.
!
Mason: Any luck?
!
Kylie: None, no entry to the sewers.
!
Andre: Great! Good thing this was my second choice of how to spend St.
Patricks day.

156

!
Serena (staring out window): You have to admit the greenness of the poison is
pretty darn festive.
!
ACT 2
(8) Andre on the phone with his crew again.
!
Andre: What!? Youre kidding? How many? And youre sure he doesnt have to
go to the hospital? No thats amazing. Might not get there for a bit. Ya. Later.
Andre hangs up and sighs, then sits down with the group.
!
Mason: Well Im sure everything happens for a reason.
!
Andre: Genocide, Homophobia, HPV.
!
Serena: Things you dont want to bring to a dinner party!
Milo squeaks.
!
Andre: Nothing happens for a reason. Reasons happen because of a
something. We just assign that saying to brand ourselves with false hope.
Andre takes out a mickey of whiskey and pours it into his coffee, then offers it around
the table. Each of them pour a swig, including Milo into his tiny espresso cup. Kylie
reluctantly pours herself some.
!
Mason: Where did you get that liquor?
!
Andre: Brought it for pre-drink.
!
Mason: I didnt see you bring it in...
!
Andre: You must have missed it, now its a happy surprise, everything happens
for a reason.
!
Kylie: Ever wonder why us?
!
Mason: What do you mean why us?
!
Kylie: Well the three of us and Milo and Serena by proximity can basically play
god whenever we want. I can accept accidentally finding a fiver on the sidewalk, but
deistic-like powers from a hot dog, cmon.
!
Serena: Maybe were supposed to come up with more commandments.
!
Mason: I really doubt-
!
Serena: Number 11... no doubting.
!
Andre: Number 12, (takes a big swig of irish coffee) no more forced emotional
moments via bottling characters in close quarters.
!
Mason: What a tragedy that would be, if you showed any other emotion besides
irritated narcisism.
!
Andre: Thats the only real and honest emotion there is, everything else is just
filler to get there.
!
Serena: Oh man Kylie this place have any Peek Freens?
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Outside the front door is a man in a gas mask. The group
checks it out. Its Landlord. Kylie goes to open the door but Mason stops her.
!
Mason: Woah woah woah, hold on. (to Landlord) What brings you out here?
!
Landlord: Shopping! No where has lines right now.
!
Mason: Cool. Well we wish we could let you in but theres not enough air in here
for all of us.
!
Landlord: Definitely understand, have a nice day!
Landlord walks off into the haze.

157

!
Andre: What was that about?
!
Mason: Two and a half weeks behind on rent. Im worried if he traps me in a
conversation Ill end up owing him a liver.
!
Kylie: Kidney.
!
Mason: What?
!
Kylie: You only have one liver. You have two kidneys
!
Mason: The point is I dont want him to take parts of me as collateral.
The groups conversation goes on to touch upon:
- Exposing secrets other characters have been hiding all season (ex. Serena and
Mason partying, Kylie slimming herself, Mason using Serena in the pilot)
- If they really have control over what theyre doing or even now their actions are
scripted (this is where Andre sparks the idea to kill himself in the next episode, his
eyes light up at the prospect of that kind of control)
- What is consciousness
- What are the ethics of having deistic-like control over their environment and what are
the consequences
- If theyre being selfish with their powers or if maybe they were given them because
whoever gave them the powers knew they would be selfish with them and thus more
entertaining to watch
- If theyre better off now then they were
- If theyre experiencing like a beautiful mind type thing and everything theyve
experienced is the collective imagination of one of them
- If things will ever go back to normal
- Everything reaches a boiling point with the group when the polar opinionated parts of
their personalities begin to clash with each others beliefs
ACT 3
(9) The Group hangs out in different corners of the Coffeebucks brooding and sulking,
staring daggers at each other. Milo and Sheila play cards. Thats when theres a knock
at the window. Its Vampire Police Chief and his kids.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hey! How are you all doing?
!
Mason (confused by VPCs concern for their well being): Ummm fine I guess.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Its too bad you werent all undead! The cities our
playground right now, isnt it kids?
Vampire Police Chiefs children nod their grotesque heads.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well glad to know youre ok! Wouldnt know what to do
without you all around. Your shenanigans never cease to make me feel alive, ha ha!
Get it! See you around.
Vampire Police Chief leads his kids back into the poison cloud.
!
Andre: That was kind of a curve ball.
!
Serena: Did anyone else get the feeling he actually cared for our well being?
!
Kylie: Ya. Genuinely.
The groups conversation goes on to touch upon:
- The motives behind their actions all season

158

- How theirs fears and insecurities have sometimes driven their actions
- How lucky they are to have each other
- What the future holds
- Accepting their place in the world, scripted or not
- Accepting they wont make it to the party and to just make the best of the time they
have with each other in the Coffeebucks
- The group reaches a cathartic stasis when the elements of their personalities they
have in common align and they accept the disagreeable ones as quirks that make for
the others to be interesting people and welcome perspectives to the group
Although very much a part of the group forgiveness, Andre holds a subtle sadness in his
eyes, hes accepted something much more.
(10) Later on the Group playing cards when outside theres a ruckus. They turn to look
and spot President Aliens ship outside the Coffeebucks. In the passengers seat is
Landlord with his gas mask. Its clear that Landlord managed to wrangle him
specifically to pick up the group.
!
Landlord: You guys need a lift?
(11) The Group boarding the spacecraft. Andre sticks back in the Coffeebucks a
moment longer and chugs the last few ounces of a micky. After the bottles insides are
dry he stuffs it in a planter.
!
Andre: Coming!
(12) Reveal: View from in the planter: its littered with empty liquor bottles making it
clear Andre might have a drinking problem.
(Homages: Bottle Episodes, Cheers)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Everyone has the potential to be an important part of someone elses life
without knowing it.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(-) Inappropriate coffee drinking guy
!

159

S01E11 - Real Eyezation / Realization / Real Lies-ation


Summary:
(To Be Completed)

160

Purpose: To instigate the last two episodes of the season, showcase some of the
characters past and bring the ensemble closer.
TEASER
(1) We open to a nearly identical life-sized model of Helms Deep from the movie Lord
of The Rings: The Two Towers, except constructed entirely pillows. Along the wall are
Andre, Milo, Kylie, Mason and an army of aliens with bows and Wave-to-go markers
as arrows (a play on Tide-to-go markers). Theyre staring out from the wall at the
enemy.
(2) Reveal: Out in the battlefield lies a vast army of Laundry Monsters. Monsters made
up entirely of tangled dirty, wrinkled laundry. Their long range weapons are bunched up
socks in the ends of stretched out socks (for use as bolos). Their leader (a large
laundry monster made up mostly of cardigans and scarves) gives its soldiers the sign to
hold.
(3) Milo hops vertically again and again to get a glimpse of the battle.
!
Mason: Would you like me to get you a box?
Milo squeaks.
!
Kylie (playfully confused): I dont get any of these references. Why are they
even attacking us?
!
Andre: Theyre trying to wipe out all the cool sides of the pillows
One of the aliens accidentally lets go of his bow and a Wave-to-go marker sails through
the air pegging one of the laundry monsters right in its anthropomorphic neck area. It
folds to the ground.
!
Mason: Here we go!
(4) Several scenes from the movie are recreated satirically (ex. the ladders pushed up
against the wall are giant ironing boards, the front gates being rammed down just need
more pillows stacked against them, the laundry monster army pours highly explosive
detergent at the base of the wall)
(5) A wool sweater laundry monster carrying a torch runs through the army toward the
detergent by the wall.
!
Mason: Shoot him down Legolandre! Shoot him down!
Andre fires a Wave-to-go marker and misses by a huge margin.
!
Andre: You know I dont have that skill right?
The wool sweater monster catches itself on fire.
!
Andre: Oh hey maybe this will resolve itself.
The wool sweater monster collapses quite a ways from the wall completely ablaze. The
other laundry monsters keep their distance. A little anti-climactic... until SWOOP! The
wool sweater laundry monster in one final bout, tosses its blazing wool socks bolo at the
detergent!

161

(6) POOMPH!! The iconic wall explosion! Except the debris that is kicked up is all
feathers instead of stone chunks of wall.
(7) After a little more battling Andre, Mason, Milo, Kylie and some aliens are finally
relegated to the fortresses keep.
!
Mason: Ride out with me!
(8) Mason, Kylie, Milo and Andre burst from the keep nestled in a couple of the aliens
donut holes and crumple laundry monsters all the way to the base of the fortress. At the
bottom they look to the east.
(9) [zinger] On the far hill as the sun is about to rise are Kylie and Andres crew nestled
in their respective alien donut holes carrying hampers with them. They begin to charge
down the hill towards the laundry monsters reassembling in their direction. Smash cut
to Title Sequence as they start to scoop up the laundry monsters.
ACT 1
(10) Andre, Kylie, Mason, Milo, Serena at Coffeebucks the next day. Andre is acting
way more zen and peaceful then usual.
!
Serena(to Andre): So what did you have in mind for tomorrow?
!
Andre: Something good... for all of us.
!
Kylie: Oh no, you cant do that to us again! Last time you curve-balled us an
entire alien race! I dont wanna wake up tomorrow and not know if I should be afraid of
hiding my taxes or velociraptors.
!
Andre: I promise its nothing bad, I just want to keep it a surprise. You know, like
you guys did for me on my birthday.
!
Kylie (thrown off by his tranquility): Mmm okay...
Theres something unsettling about Andres calmness and warmth that the group cant
put their finger on.
!
(11) Mason and Kylie leave the Coffeebucks, Milo and Andre stay behind with Kylie
who is still working.
!
Andre: Hey I just wanted to apologize for all the times Ive been a jerk to you. I
know it must be hard for you rediscovering yourself without being defined by wealth and
we havent made the transition easy for you. I want you to have this.
Andre pulls out some expensive bling from his pocket.
!
Andre: Its my jesus piece. I was given it years ago, its supposed to remind you
of who you are and where you came from, but its really not my style. And Im not
exactly sure if its valuable, but the next time you look at it I want you to remember you
have friends in this new life, and will in the next.
!
Kylie: Wow I dont know what to say.
!
Andre: Nothing, youll ruin it. See ya later.
(12) Andre playing some basketball with his crew (and brutally losing, but all with a
smile on his face).

162

!
Andre (to crew): You know I wouldnt be half as far as I am today without you
guys, I dont think Ive ever told you that.
!
Big Thug: Dude youre an inspiration to us, thats the right way to look at it.
Beat.
!
Andre: Another game of hoops?
(13) Serena and Mason discussing why Andre was so peaceful so suddenly.
!
Mason: You and him been going to yoga or something?
!
Serena: Nada, maybe he just need to get some war out of him, he did seem
pretty intense the other day about getting my vision of Helms Deep perfect.
Serena gets a text message and lets Mason know shell meet him back at the house.
(14) Andre and Serena meet in the park at the bench that Chad Smith was murdered
at. Dried blood still stains the ground at their feet.
!
Serena: Whats up man?
!
Andre: Hey just wanted to apologize for getting rid of Chad Smith.
!
Serena: Andre he was your idol, you did what you had to do.
!
Andre: I think you should eat the hot dog next chance you get, it would be good
for you. That helms deep thing and the musical, that was all you, you just have to
channel your creativity and you could really make something of yourself.
!
Serena: Aww thanks Andre.
!
Andre: Thats not all why I called you here though.
!
Serena: Ok...
!
Andre: Tomorrow when Mason wakes up I need you to tell him Andre says
sorry.
!
Serena: For what?
!
Andre: Just- trust me itll be hilarious.
!
Serena: Ha, well okay.
(15) Kylie gets a visit from Vampire Police Chief at her work.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hello Ky-
!
Kylie: All out of low-fat whipped cream.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh thats not actually why Im- damn it really?- nevermind,
I was just here to offer you another deal.
!
Kylie: Uh huh...
!
Vampire Police Chief: With my help I can leave you as the permanent head
writer of your group, imagine that hmmm...
Kylie considers for a moment. Her desire for power, perfection and status are strong.
She looks down at her hands and shes holding the jesus piece.
!
Kylie: Sorry Vampire Police Chief, I cant do that to my friends.
!
Vampire Police Chief: So be it...
(16) Andre is typing his episode into his laptop and almost looks euphoric while doing
so. He glances back at Milo who is fast asleep on the couch and then takes a bathroom
break. As the bathroom door closes Milos eye peeks open and he hops from the

163

couch, across the room and up onto the desk in front of Andres laptop. He begins to
read.
(17) Mason and Serena are chillin in their apartment when theres a tap at the door.
Mason opens it up and theres no one there... oh wait! No its just Milo down of the
floor... with Andres laptop in his mouth?
(18) Serena and Mason pop open Andres laptop, boot it up and begin to read Andres
last entry into Scriptmakerpro. After a few lines each they cover their mouths in shock.
Andre bursts through their front door breathless.
!
Andre: Dont read that!
!
Mason: Youre gonna kill yourself?
ACT 2
(19) Andres zen is gone. He tries to explain that he cant tell whats real and whats a
product of what theyve made up anymore. He cant have a real relationship because
every girl he talks to is a malleable character and theres no spark if you can just
program someone to love you. But lets say he decides he really likes a girl and wants
to extract her from the script, let her know the truth about reality. Theres no going back.
What if she turns out not to be the one. Now she must bare the rest of her life in a world
that could change at any instant on her. Thats not a burden Andre wants. Everything is
just too fucked up now! Fuck!
!
Andre (given up)(sunken): But hey, maybe if I die I get out right? Ill get outside
it all...
Mason and Serena convince Andre to give them one more day to figure things out. To
delete the script he has now and to just wait, cmon Andre just wait, thats the least you
owe us, just wait, we dont care about anything else just you, please just wait.
!
Andre (zero emotion): Fine, one day.
Andre deletes his script from the template, closes his laptop and walks out their door,
leaving Serena, Mason and Milo.
!
Serena: What are we gonna do?
!
Mason (shellshocked): I have no idea.
!
Serena: Ill call Kylie.
(20) Kylie and Serena waiting for Andre, Mason and Milo in the Coffeebucks. They are
framed as if part of a storybook. Throughout the second act of this episode every shot
is tailored as if part of a Wes Anderson movie (every frame and character are facing
parallel or perpendicular to the camera), with complementary Wes Anderson style
dialogue (95% dryly delivered to emphasize the 5% that is informally and emotionally
carried out). In contrast Andre is the only character to be viewed on a diagonal and
when critiquing scenes the frame loses its Wes Anderson touch.
!
Kylie: Are we sure this is going to work?
!
Serena: Certainly.
!
Kylie: Were dealing with some pretty heavy subjects...
!
Serena: Which is why this way will work.
!
Kylie: As long as the information Mason gave us was accurate.

164

!
Serena: Oh yes.
!
Kylie: Oh yes?
!
Serena: I forgot it hinged on that.
!
Kylie: So then-
The door to the Coffeebucks opens and Mason, Andre and Milo come through and
stand rigid in the doorway. A silent exchange between the two parties.
(21) The group enter the hanger of what once was the Destiny Dogg factory. The
florescent lights thunk on one at a time down the the warehouse revealing a string of
enormous dioramas, each unlit from within.
!
Andre (stoic): Let me guess... Wonderful Life.
!
Mason: Well sort of, we didnt want to risk any space-time continuum crap.
!
The group takes Andre to each life-sized diorama where a scene plays out (Wes
Anderson style) of a time in history where if Andre had not been present things would
have been much worse.
(22) The first diorama is a vignette of the third episode when Kylie was dealing with the
serial killer. The jist of it is that Kylie would have ended up murdered had Andre not
been there.
(23) The second diorama is a vignette of the second episode in the penthouse where
Vampire Policeman has Kylie hanging out the window. Basically Kylie and Mason
would be dead without his intervention.
(24) The third shows Milo being bought by a coat maker since Andre wasnt there to
take him at birth.
(25) The fourth vignette pertains to 8 years earlier when Serena was broken up with by
her highschool sweetheart. She was so emotionally crushed that had Andre not been
there to bring her back, she might have lost herself.
(26) The fifth vignette shows Mason at age 11 in an abusive foster home, had Andre not
helped him get out of it he would have remained there and never become the highly
more confident and personable person he is now.
(27) Andre remains silent through the showcase.
!
Mason: So you see, we need you, youve been an important part of our lives and
will continue to be.
Beat.
Andre begins to walk them back through the vignettes. The frame changes diagonally.
He begins to point out the holes in their logic.
The fifth: The reason Masons foster parents were so abusive was because the father
had cancer and didnt know how to cope. Had Andre not had them removed the father
would have died and Mason would have been placed in the good foster home with one

165

slot, instead of him and Andre being placed with the crackheads because they had two
spots.
The forth: The reason Serenas highschool sweetheart broke up with her in the first
place was because Andre told him Serena had herpes (or something). Andre foresaw
the relationship enabling Serenas laziness, ultimately leading her nowhere important.
Had Andre not broken them up Serena and her sweetheart would have married, had
children and lived in poverty, but ultimately would have been happy.
The third: Theres no way Milo would have been bought for a coat... cmon disney
villians dont exist outside of disney
The second and first: The whole reason they ended up in that position is because of
Andre abusing his power and convincing Mason to attempt the murder of Vampire
Policeman. Andre is the one that got them into all of the garbage, not the one thats
been taking them out of it.
Andre pauses back at diorama one.
!
Andre: And you guys forgot to show me the last box.
!
Kylie: Last box?
!
Andre: Ya the last box.
Sure enough at the very end of the dioramas is a sixth unlit vignette. The group walks
past the first five in a side-scroll shot.
!
Mason: I dont remember us writing this one in.
!
Andre: Thats because I did.
(28) The sixth diorama lights up and inside are two incredibly happy black parents,
each bearing a subtle resemblance to Andre.
!
Andre: This is what they would have been like had I not been born.
Heavy Beat.
Andre walks out of the warehouse.
!
Serena: Well... that was a disaster.
!
Mason: Ya Im thinking it cant get much worse than this.
(29) Laundry Monsters from pillow-fort Helms Deep reanimate and begin to slink
towards the city. A hiker accidentally stumbles upon one.
!
Hiker: Oh hey there little g-
The Laundry Monster wraps a sleeve around the hikers neck and strangles him to
death.
ACT 3
(30) Andre having a last drink with Milo on the park bench by the pond. Milo drinks
from the cap of Andres flask, nuzzling Andre to stay, but knowing that if he doesnt at
least Andre will go knowing Milo loved him.

166

!
Andre: Serena, Mason and Kylie will take care of you. I know you probably dont
understand it. But I have every right to end things on my own terms. The others might
think Im selfish but Its really the truest right we all have... Im sorry.
Milo nuzzles his friend.
Beat.
CRACK! CRACK CRACK! Gunshots in the distance.
!
Andre: Huh...
!
(31) The Laundry Monsters slowly slink their way deeper into the city, strangling people
to death as they go. The army fire round after round at them, but the bullets have no
effect. Theyre anthropomorphic pieces of fabric, they have no nervous system or soul.
(32) An ex-con tosses a maltov cocktail a a group, lighting them on fire.
!
Ex-con: Nice!
The laundry monsters that are on fire scatter into nearby buildings setting them ablaze.
!
Ex-con: Oh crap... (starts to innocently whistle)
(33) Andre gets a text that reads to meet Mason, Kylie and Serena at Coffeebucks
because they kind of need his help with this situation before he kills himself.
(34) Night has come and Vampire Police Chief soars through the city streets urging
people to keep inside, and seal the crevices of their doors. Below him laundry monsters
parade unstoppably block to block. Parts of the city are on fire. It is chaos. Andre and
Milo manage to bounce past (on the trampoline network) a group of laundry monsters
patrolling the streets below and sneak into the Coffeebucks.
(35) Mason, Kylie and Serena waiting in the dark of the Coffeebucks as Andre and Milo
come in. It turns out the laundry monsters are a little more unstoppable then previously
thought. The Wave-to-go markers are having almost no effect on them anymore. Its as
if theyre getting stronger. Guns do nothing and setting them ablaze just cause them to
set everything else on fire. It also seems like Vampire Police Chief isnt behind it.
Perhaps theres another writer out there?
!
Andre: This is-
!
Mason (irritated): Ya ya the last thing you do for us.
!
Kylie: Mason!
!
Mason: What he wants to be a quitter, Im fine with that. (to Andre) It was real
nice of you to consult me on that too, brother.
!
Serena: There has to be a way to take them out-
!
Civilian (outside): Aaaaah help me!
The group line up at the window to check out whats happening. Serena holds them
back from helping the man right away as there are two enormous hordes of laundry
monsters closing in on him. The Civilian cowers and the laundry monsters... do nothing.
Strange... wait whats this? Theres another commotion as a heroic looking man enters
the scene. He looks like Robert Downey Jr. mixed with your best friend. He charges at
the hordes armed with a handful of coathangers and a staff.
!
Kylie: Damn, who is he?

167

Heroic Man beats back the laundry monsters with his staff and whips most of them onto
clothes hangers and tosses them onto powerlines. With an exit cleared Heroic Man
reaches out to the Coward Man.
!
Heroic Man: Come with me if you want to- aghghghhh!
A laundry monster falls from a coat hanger onto Heroic Mans neck and begins to
strangle him. The rest of them fall from their hangers and suffocate him to death.
Traumatized, Coward Man runs off. The laundry monsters do nothing to him.
!
Mason: I dont get it, how-
!
Andre: Because hes not cool.
!
Serena: Huh?
!
Andre: When I wrote them to attack pillow-fort Helms Deep I had to give them a
motivation... well I didnt have to, but I did. That motivation was to eradicate all the cool
sides of each pillow, theyre just applied it to people now.
!
Serena: See we wouldnt know that if you were gone.
!
Andre: There wouldnt be laundry monsters in the first place either.
They watch as the laundry monsters fall onto the trampoline circuit and one onto a
partially burning car. It lands on the hood, sticks for a moment then slides off, but does
not get up. Andre gets a look like he knows their weakness.
!
Andre: We need to get to the city center.
!
Mason/Kylie/Serena: Why?
!
Andre (glint of excitement in his eyes): Theres steam rollers there. And were
gonna use them to iron the laundry monsters wrinkles.
!
Kylie: But how will we make it through the hordes,
!
Serena: Ive got an idea.
(36) Mason, Milo, Andre, Kylie and Serena segway through hordes of laundry monsters
as if they were invisible because riding a segway is that uncool.
(37) The arrive at the former location of the police station and palace, which is now
being paved over with road. There are 4 steam rollers which the group fire up
immediately. Theyre able to take out a couple LMs but riding on steam rollers isnt
exactly the coolness that attracts them.
Mason hops off his steam roller, wraps a sock around his palm and grabs a shard of
glass. He starts walking towards a LM.
!
Kylie: What are you doing!?
!
Mason: Attracting a few more!
Mason starts to slash apart a LM with the glass (so badass!). This coolness begins to
attract more and more LMs. The rest of the group steamroll the LMs into flattened
oblivion. The combination of Masons ground combat and their squashing teamwork
eventually lures the last of the Laundry Monsters into their domain.
(38) The group paves some asphalt over the now wrinkle-less and immobile Laundry
Monsters. The streets shall be their graves. Kylie takes out a folded piece of paper
from her bra. Its a script. It reads that the Laundry Monsters would reanimate and

168

wreak havoc on the city. The attack was planned to get Andre back on board. She
buries the script under the asphalt.
(39) Back at the Coffeebucks Andre confesses that he actually had fun with them and
that maybe his most recent state of suicidal manic depression was just the low of a
polar swing. He apologizes for the way he behaved and the group forgives him.
!
Andre: Well, now that all thats out of the way, lets maybe rewrite tomorrows
script.
Andre pulls out his laptop.
!
Mason: Woah wait, you didnt delete you suicide script?
!
Andre: No, of course not, you thought I was bluffing?
!
Mason: Andre... do you know what time it is?
!
Andre: Of course I-
Andre looks at his laptop. The template is empty.
!
Andre: Kylie... that clock over there... did you ever spring it an hour ahead?
Kylies eyes widen. The clock says 11:01pm... it is really 12:01pm. The script sent and
Andre is destined to die the next day.
(Homages: Lord of the Rings, Night of the Living Dead, World War Z, Wonderful
Life, Wes Anderson)
Interpretable Morals:
(1) If you look hard enough theres always something to live for.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) Laundry monsters

169

S01E12 - Redemption
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

170

Purpose: To set up the finale.


TEASER
(1) We pick up right where the last episode left off. Midnight. The Laundry Monsters
have just been defeated and the group gathers in the Coffeebucks. Andres suicide
script has accidentally been sent due to an unfortunately set clock. The group curses
daylight savings time for messing with them yet again!
!
Serena: So when is it supposed to happen?
!
Andre: Shortly after midnight, so any moment now.
!
Mason: Wait you didnt even give yourself a full day to say goodbye!? No epic
sacrifice on your part!?
!
Andre: Kind of just wrote that a blood clot appears in my brain and I have an
aneurysm. Felt it would be nice simple and painless.
!
Serena (delivered like Switch from The Matrix): Not like this, never like this.
!
Andre: Well no that would be my-
Andre collapses to the ground, no hope for resuscitation. Hes gone.
Milo buries himself in Andres face and Kylie and Serena begin to cry together. Mason
just stares at the body of his best friend and brother who hes know for the past eleven
years. There has to be something he can do. Anything. It clicks.
Mason turns around and outside across the street is the Destiny Dog cart. The one
missing the g. Occupied by none other than Silhouette Man.
(2) Mason approaches the cart.
!
Mason: I know why you appear. This, whatever this is, and whoever its
entertaining... it all needs to progress. And you being here right now means theres a
way to get him back.
The Silhouette Man remains silent.
!
Mason: A way to get him back without turning him into a zombie or a- bingo!
!
(3) Mason bursts back into the Coffeebucks.
!
Mason: Serena order an Uber, I still havent gotten the app on my phone.
!
Kylie: Whats going on?
!
Mason: Were gonna pay a friend a visit. Someone whos been where we have
to go.
!
Kylie: Where?
!
Mason: The afterlife.
Beat.
!
Serena: Ooo that sounds like a pretty long Uber.
ACT 1
(4) Landlord pulls up in front of Vampire Police Chiefs house in his 61 California GT
with Mason, Kylie, Serena and Milo in the passengers seat once again. Serena is
eating a hog dog! In the background it the still petrified corpse of the man from the pilot.

171

They hop out and climb the stoop to Vampire Police Chiefs door. They knock and the
door opens.
(5) Cut to Vampire Police Chiefs living room. Mason, Serena, Kylie, Milo, Vampire
Police Chief and his vampire children are gathered around it. Milo peels a blood
orange. Theres a noticeable black stain on the carpet where Mason murdered Vampire
Police Chiefs wife. Things are a little awkward.
!
Vampire Police Chief: No one has ever broken out of heaven or for that matter
wanted to. Its like an Icelandic prison up there. Why not bring him back as a vampire?
His pigment might even protect him from the sun like blade.
!
Mason: Blade could go out in the sun cause he was only half vampire, not cause
he was black.
!
Vampire Policeman: Oh well they made that very confusing. Anyway theres no
breaking in or out of heaven without setting off alarms. And to do either Andre needs to
shut a few security grids off, also hell need their locations... and equipment.
!
Kylie: How do we do that?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well for starters youre going to have to kill me.
(6) Quick flash montage of Andres life. (Its not a great one)
(7) Andre standing outside the pearly gates. St. Peter wordlessly ushers him in as the
gates open and a gold monorail shuttle pulls up. On the side is an advertisement for a
tv show called Gliding with the Stars. It features an Michael Jackson and an Angel
flapping their wings in unison.
(8) Andre hops on the shuttle and looks around. Theres a bin of Google Glass
apparatuses up front. Everything seems so... American? Andre asks the driver whats
up.
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Well this is American Heaven.
!
Andre: Theres more than one heaven?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Gosh why dont they ever tell people that.
!
Andre: And all the- (gesturing to Google Glass)
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Oh ya we were recently bought out by Google, very
cool company that one.
!
Andre: Interesting, so does eternal bliss get boring?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Again it just makes no sense how any of you are
getting this information. You get 20 years of heaven.
!
Andre: Only 20!? Then what?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Then we wipe your memory and send you to hell. Of
course if youre a major sinner than its just a memory wipe and straight back to hell.
!
Andre: What!? Why!?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Oop sorry when I say hell what I mean is earth. Bit of a
different connotation around these parts. You see you get 20 years in your prime up
here, notice your muscles...
Andre notices hes now quite a bit more athletic than he was on Earth.

172

!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: It was always supposed to be 20 years of hell growing
up, 20 years in your prime, then you die and you get 20 years in heaven. Never
understood why everyone would try and live past 40 when it all gets dark, broken and
troubled.
!
Andre: So heaven is more like club med?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: American heaven yes... Israeli heaven, not so much.
!
Andre: Do all dogs go to heaven?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Unfortunately animals arent permitted, when they die I
believe theyre memories are wiped and theyre born into a new animal body, most are
just animal instincts anyway.
!
Andre: Huh never seeing Milo again...
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: Everyone has a tough time at first, I suggest you wait
until after orientation, things get better... oh! Which reminds me! I keep meaning to ask
the new recruits, how come you guys stopped stoning gays?
!
Andre: Youre kidding right?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: No we really need them up here. Theyre so good for
the neighborhood. Everything you see before was gay designed and gay built.
The shuttle finally enters the towering city. It has flavors of Dubai, Coruscant and the
crevices between gold organ pipes. Its breathtaking.
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: And since theyre so scarce and we only get them for
20 years, we need as many dying as early as possible to keep up with inflation.
!
Andre: Money?
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: People.
!
Andre: Wow thats messed up.
!
Heavens Shuttle Driver: I wouldnt worry about it, the AIDS initiative has worked
pretty well since we noticed them starting to get rights in hell... on earth... sorry.
(9) Vampire Police Chief explains to the group that in order to extract Andre, Andre will
need to turn off the perimeter fence so that the group is able to break through the pearly
gates.
!
Mason: Couldnt we just fly in?
!
Vampire Police Chief: If only it were that easy. American heavens force field
expands spherically around it. The fence and gates are its only weak points, that is
when theyre turned off.
Vampire Police Chief goes on to explain that once in theyll have to pick up Andre
because the shuttle will be locked down. Once hes back through the pearly gates hell
be out of heavens jurisdiction and free again.
!
Kylie: Okay this might be a silly question at this point but how do we get to
heaven in the first place?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh its above Seattle if I recall correctly. Needs
somewhere that rains alot.
Vampire Police Chief goes on to explain that every new recruit has a 48 hour
processing period, at at the end of it you lose your desire to breakout of heaven for
good (through brainwashing or something). So theyll have to act fast if they want to
save Andre.
!
Mason: And god is there?

173

!
Vampire Police Chief: Ya hes a little pretentious though.
!
Serena: Youve met god?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well American God.
!
Kylie: Will he know were coming?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Naaa, honestly god is mostly just talk, all that omnipotent
stuff is like leg day to him, he usually skips it and its super noticeable.
!
Serena: How come you know so much for only being in american heaven for a
day?
!
Vampire Police Chief (switching topic): Oh hey is that Landlord outside!? Bring
him in!
!
(10) Landlord now joins the group in the living room.
!
Landlord: Oh heck of course I will, I love the little guys!
One of the Vampire Children hangs by its fangs from Landlords forearm.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Well now that we have a babysitter lets put this plan into
motion. Mason.
Vampire Police Chief takes the stake that killed his wife from above the fire place mantle
and hands it to Mason.
!
Mason: Do I really have to-
!
Vampire Police Chief (passive aggressive intimidating): Well you were willing to
do it once before.
!
Mason: Mmm fine.
Mason raises the stake and plunges it towards Vampire Police Chiefs heart... and
misses.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh cmon! Christ I didnt expect you to be Sid Vicious, but
at least hit your-!
Kylie removes the stake and plunges it into his chest properly, instantly killing him.
Vampire Police Chief buckles to the floor bleeding a thick black tar.
!
Kylie: Lets get to work.
!
(11) Vampire Police Chief arrives at the pearly gates as Officer McCluskey.
!
Officer McCluskey: Oh hey there Pete!
!
St. Peter: Hey looks whos back again!
ACT 2
(12) Montage of Mason, Kylie, Serena and Milo set off to enlist the help of everyone
they can including:
- Andres Crew (including Chandelier Thug and Black Heisenberg)
- Ex-cons
- Super Super Gay Couple
- Palace Guards (find them at a burger joint)
- Vain Model Girl

174

(13) Andre curiously strolls through heaven. Everyone around him is jubilant bantering
back and forth as friends much like him and Mason did in the pilot. Above the streets
angels gently fly by. Andre watches it all with a suspicious eye.
!
Andre (to self)(whispers): Remember Bertrand Russells Paradox...
!
Stranger (O.C.): Hello Andre.
Andre looks over to see a man he does not recognize (its Officer McCluskey) but he
doesnt seem like the others.
!
Officer McCluskey: You dont recognize me do you.
Officer McCluskey flashes his badge and it clicks.
!
Andre: What are you-
!
Officer McCluskey: Walk with me.
(14) Andre and Officer McCluskey crossing a few different parks and squares.
!
Officer McCluskey: ...and thats basically the plan.
!
Andre: And what if I want to stay?
Officer McCluskey stares at him like cmon.
!
Officer McCluskey: Does this place feel more real to you than earth-
!
Andre: Hell.
!
Officer McCluskey: Whatever. Its all perception. Reality is a dream you cant
wake up from Andre. You just have to forget you know its one and lose yourself in it.
!
Andre: What are you getting out of breaking me out?
!
Officer McCluskey: Hey Im in heaven I must be a good guy right? Anyway its
your choice if you want to trade one surreality for another. Id personally go for the one
where youre in charge and have friends.
Officer McCluskey leaves Andre looking out at an endless sea of clouds.
(15) Mason, Kylie and Milo in the Coffeebucks one last time.
!
Mason: By the way when we all get back were coming up with a new meeting
spot, every time I get here and theres not a finish line and a crowd cheering I die a little
inside.
The Coffeebucks door can be heard opening and closing. Kylie, Mason and Milo look
over in shock.
Reveal: Serena has a hot dog in her hands.
!
Mason: Before you take a bite are you sure?
!
Serena: Its the least I can do for our friend up there.
!
Kylie: Actually...
(16) Mason, Milo, Kylie an Serena standing before President Alien, General Alien and a
slew of troops in the city park by the bench Chad Smith died at (blood still stained on
the ground).
!
President Alien: You want our help to save the man who single handedly tried to
end my alien race? The man who maimed my top General into the semi-ring he is
today? And who never consulted you in a single one of those steps?
!
Serena: Mmm yes?
President Alien and General Alien murmur to each other while their tentacles squiggle.

175

!
President Alien: Well do it on one condition.
!
Mason: Name it.
!
President Alien: We want the rights to the movie (or something silly like that).
!
Kylie: Uh ya sure.
President Alien and his compadres cheer and squiggle!
!
Mason (to Kylie, Serena and Milo): Well I think thats it, looks like were gonna
wrap this up in time.
(17) Officer McCluskey approaches a beautiful young lady and removes his hat.
!
Officer McCluskey (tears in his eyes): Virginia... is that you?
!
Virginia: Mark? What are you? Oh our god!
Virginia and Officer McCluskey embrace, its been nearly 72 days since they were last
husband and wife.
!
Officer McCluskey: I dont have much longer, at midnight Im being recalled to
Earth.
!
Virginia: So then youre not!
Officer McCluskey: Dead? No.
!
Virginia: And the kids?
!
Officer McCluskey: Theyre fine theyre good.
!
Virginia: Oh thank mayor.
!
Officer McCluskey: I want you to come back.
!
Virginia: Its impossible at this point.
!
Officer McCluskey (eyes narrow): I have a plan.
ACT 3
(18) Mason, Kylie, Serena, Milo, Landlord and the Vampire Children observe the
corpse of Vampire Police Chief in silence. Well theres an occasional cough and sniffle.
The clock hits midnight.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Ugh...
Vampire Police Chiefs body starts to move. He awkwardly gets up on one knee then
stands like someone who had just been knocked out in a fight and is figuring out his
surroundings again.
!
Vampire Police Chief (groggily): Well open the toy chest...
Serena opens it and pulls out a bunch of bluetooth headsets. She hands one to Mason
who fits it in his ear. Theyre all cautiously optamistic.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Its up to Andre now, whether or not he wants to be
saved.
Mason turns on the headset.
!
Mason: Andre? Andre are you there?
Beat.
Nothing.
!
Mason: Andre its your brother...
Beat.
Nothing.
The group starts to give up hope. Maybe hes really gone?
Beat.

176

TZZT!
TZZT!
!
Andre (through not the greatest reception)(O.S.): Put Mi- on th- hone.
A wave of relief washes over the group as they crack smiles. Milo squeaks into the
bluetooth from Masons shoulder.
(19) Andre with a Google glass across his face holding a laser cannon and a charcoal
full body suit.
!
Andre: Yep found the stash. This place is a little too quixotic for my taste. Ill
see you at dawn. The real question is are you ready?
(20) Mason looks out Vampire Police Chiefs second story picture window. Sitting in
the middle of the street is a military tank.
!
Mason: Oh were ready.
(21) Dawn begins to role around as Mason waits in the city park with Milo and the tank.
Overhead fighter crafts spew from the mothership, one cruises down to Mason.
!
Bank Robber (O.C.): Hello creator.
Reveal: Bank Robber strolling up to the tank.
!
Mason (taken aback): Bank Robber, what are you doing here?
!
Bank Robber: Vampire Police Chief sent me to assist you.
!
Mason: Oh thats quite alright.
!
Bank Robber: You have nothing to be worried about, my serial killing days are
behind me and I have purpose now, I would like to help.
!
Mason: Wheres Vampire Police Chief?
!
Bank Robber: At home spending some time with his children. Hes already
risked a lot with the whole dying thing dont you think.
!
Mason: I- ya- look Im sorry for accidentally sending you down the right path.
!
Bank Robber: [chuckle] Well perhaps I will get the chance to fulfill the villain
turned good guy sacrifice cliche.
!
Mason: Lets hope it doesnt come to that.
The Alien fightercraft attaches its magnets to the tank.
!
Bank Robber: Oh and before I forget (pulls out full body dinosaur suit from
satchel) camouflage.
Mason looks at him quizzically.
!
Bank Robber: For some reason the one thing angels cant fathom are
dinosaurs... you dont have to put it on now.
!
Mason: Thanks Bank Robber.
Bank Robber warmly smiles back. And they hop into the tank.
(22) Meanwhile Andre in google glass, full body stealth suit, and laser cannon, sneaks
into American Heavens power station (modeled like the tractor beam control panel
room from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope).
(23) Alien Fightercraft dropping off the tank on top of a cloud above Seattle, then flying
away.

177

(24) He enters a code to shut off the fence.


!
Andre: Alright the fence is down. And will be for a while. Just give me a 10
minute head start to make my way to the edge of the city.
(25) Mason, Milo and Bank Robber by the tank in a sea of clouds.
!
Mason: Sounds good man. Milo, Bank Robber and me are at our mark.
(26) Serena and Kylie seem to be on some sort of balcony overlooking the sea of
cloud. Kylie is staring through binoculars.
!
Serena: Were ready too.
!
Kylie (covering bluetooth): Hey did Mason just say Bank Robber was with him?
(27) Close up of bluetooth piece.
!
Super Super Gay Couple (O.S.): Super Super Gay Couple and friends are in
position as well.
Reveal: Vampire Police Chief is listening to their conversation outside the gold fence,
cloud wrapping around his shins. He POOFS into a bat and flies through the bars
towards American Heavens central city.
(28) Andre jogs through American Heavens cobbled streets. Its still so early so hardly
anyone is out and about. Perhaps everyone in heaven sleeps in because they can.
Just a little bit farther and hes home free. Thats when his peripherals catch someone.
In the corner of his eye he spots someone doing yoga as the sun rises: its Chad Smith.
Andre is torn but ultimately decides to clear his conscious before leaving heaven. He
approaches Chad Smith.
!
Andre: Hey man remember me?
!
Chad Smith: Oh hey ya! Whats up dude, hows death?
!
Andre: Actually just getting out of it.
!
Chad Smith: Oh weird, totally thought you were with the vampire.
!
Andre: Ha no hes actually helping me- wait... vampire? You never knew
Vampire Police Chief.
!
Chad Smith: Is he the same one that just soared into Heavens Central
Intelligence Building?
!
Andre: Chad... whats in Heavens Central Intelligence Building?
!
Chad Smith: Oh a lot of things. Pretty much everything sent through the cloud.
Music, nudes, documents.
!
(29) Bank Robber hands Mason the dinosaur suit to put on
!
Bank Robber: Ya its a little tight.
!
Mason: Uhp hold on.
Mason takes his gun off and places it on the ground while he squishes in. He finally
zips himself up (and looks ridiculous, but hey if it works it works) and reaches down to
grab his gun... but its gone! What!?
Reveal: Bank Robber holding him and Milo at gun point.

178

!
Bank Robber: Thats right I have purpose again. Cliches... and you fell for one
of the oldest most foreseeable ones: the double cross. I was never going to sacrifice
myself for you. Ha you probably dont even understand whats going on do you, the
genius of Vampire Police Chiefs plan and how he played you all like fiddles that were
very easy to learn because he doesnt actually know how to fiddle. You see while
youve been shutting down the security, hes been gaining access to heavens controls
and its databanks. Containing every single one of the scripts you people have wrote
past, present and future. The kind of information load that would convince the entire
world theyre living in a fabricated reality. And all he needs to do is airdrop it to-
BANG!
Bank Robbers head explodes all over Mason and his dinosaur suit. Bank Robber falls
from frame, revealing Kylie shaking with a gun in her hand (probably didnt mean for it to
go off).
!
Kylie (shaky): Oldest most foreseeable cliche... how about the monologue that
was too long!... Bitch!
TZZT! TZZT!
!
Andre (O.S.): Vampire Police Chief is here, and hes going to try and make the
whole world into writers like us.
!
Mason: We cant let that happen. What do we do?
(30) Andre running towards Heavens Central Intelligence Building. He pauses.
!
Andre: Its simple, we have to blow up heaven.
(Homages: Heist Films)
Interpretable Moral:
(1) Cliches will always be around.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(+) American Heaven
(+) Minor Characters being upgraded to Viewers
(-) Bank Robber

179

S01E13 - Abomination
Summary:
(To Be Completed)

180

Purpose: To bring closure to Season 1s story arc, build upon the series mythology and
provide a foundation for Season 2.
TEASER
(1) The very same start as our pilot except now instead of HEAVEN in the slugline, we
have the more specific AMERICAN HEAVEN.
(2) We reach the point where Andre moves toward the camera having just murdered
several angels.
!
Andre: Besides there's too much to explain and it's not like we can just
flashback everything, we're not-
!
Kylie (O.S.): Godfather Part II?
(3) Serena and Kylie swoop through the wide open pearly gates on a massive
hovercraft with a mounted gatling gun. Kylie steers the craft while Serena pretends to
know what shes doing behind the gun. While Masons tank must follow the tram line,
the girls are able to swoop in whichever direction they please across the sea of cloud.
Andres crew tails on jet skies with a similar cloud maneuverability.
!
Serena: For real is this what the Godfather is like!?
!
Kylie: What?
!
Serena: Cause Ive put off watching it for sooooooooo long!
An armada of angels emerges from the city.
!
Kylie: Aim for their wings!
!
Serena: Get some!
CHUK! CHUK! CHUK! CHUK!!
(4) [zinger] Slugline Seattle: two citizens on a park bench look up towards the sky.
!
Seattlite: Would ya look at that... gonna rain again, big surprise.
ACT 1
(5) Andre enters heavens control room at the top of its tallest celestial skyscraper.
Vampire Police Chief is in charge. Around him are the bodies of many dead angels.
!
Andre: Shouldnt god be driving?
!
Vampire Police Chief: I like to think of it all as much more character driven at this
point.
!
Andre: I still cant let you make everyone have these screenwriting power, if its
even possible, it would be chaos, nothing production would come of it.
!
Vampire Police Chief: So then let me get this straight, you only think the five-
!
Andre: Four.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Doesnt matter- of you deserve to be gods?
!
Andre: Well...
!
Vampire Police Chief: Why dont you go ask him- or her- he gets bullied
sometimes, yourself. Hes on the bottom floor.
(6) Serena and Kylie kicking major ass drawing away the angels from the city.

181

(7) Mason and Milo arrive at Heavens Central Intelligence Building and blow a hole
through the lockdown doors with a well placed tank mortar.
!
Mason (calmly): Get some.
(8) Mason and Milo through the buildings hallways end up at a fork. To the left theres
a sign that reads To God and All The Answers about All The Things. To the right
theres a sign that reads To Heavens Core Power Source: Please No Blowing Up
Heaven. Mason begrudgingly chooses power source
(9) Vampire Police Chief humming to himself while steering heaven from an enormous
ship style steering wheel in the control tower.
(10) Seattle citizens look to the sky in awe as the overcast moves away from the city.
!
Seattlite: Its a miracle!
(11) Andre finds himself at the same hallway fork Mason was and chooses To God
and All The Answers about All The Things.
(12) Andre walks into Gods chamber where an immensely bright light shines at him.
!
God: Andre! Whats good my man!
ACT 2
(13) Andre in the room with God
!
God: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Andre sees a booth with a curtain and opens it. Theres a super nerdy looking angel
behind it.
!
God: Thats Ted the sound guy, I just really hate getting feedback.
!
Ted: Could you not stand so close to your mic, thaaannkksss.
God grumbles.
(14) Serena and Kylie narrowly dodge a tank shell that whizzes past them and into the
perimeter gate, blowing it to pieces. Its Mason and Milos tank! But how? What are
they doing?
!
Kylie: Mason are you shooting at us?
!
Mason (O.S.): What? No. I- oh damn it.
(15) Mason in power core setting up explosives.
!
Kylie (O.S.): What did you do?
!
Mason: Might have left the keys inside...
!
Kylie (O.S.): I cant believe I used to let you inside me.
Mason (with the help of Milo) plants the final bomb and readys the detonator.
(16) Andres conversation with God starts pretty casual at first before becoming more
complex.
!
God: So whats up? Hows it going?

182

!
Andre (thrown off): Oh um good, you?
!
God: Pretty bacons and regs.
!
Andre: Huh?
!
God: Pretty regular.
!
Ted: Stop using that saying-
!
God (irritated): It has a 50% success rate!
!
Andre: Whats real and whats scripted?
!
God: Just gonna go right in with the heavy qs eh.
!
Andre: I need to know.
!
God: Everything. Theyre the same. A script, a computer program, a molecule:
theyre all laws and laws cant be broken, but they can be rewritten by those who work
hard enough to understand them.
(17) Andres crew starts being taken out one by one by the tank. So Serena and Kylie
decide to flank it with their hovercraft. As they approach the tanks cannon turns to
towards them.
!
Kylie: Oh crap! Thats right they can do that!
BOOM!
The hovercraft explodes and Kylie and Serena are thrown from it into a bank of clouds.
The angels surround them.
(18) Andre with God again.
!
God: So whyd you...
!
Andre: ?
!
God: You know...
!
Andre: Kill myself?
!
God: Ya like what if there was nothing?
!
Andre: But theres this.
!
God: Oh man ya but what if there wasnt, you could have just been a bunch of
carbon that was arranged in such a way that thought it was conscious.
!
Andre: I guess I figured there had to be something more, seeing as everything
had to have been scripted by somebody.
(19) Mason and Milo exit an elevator on the top floor of Heavens Central Intelligence
Building and hes faced with another hallway fork. To Server Room, says a sign.
!
Mason: All of our scripts past, present and future...
The other sign says To Bridge to deal with Vampire Police Chief. Begrudgingly Mason
chooses Bridge.
(20) Mason enters the bridge to find Vampire Police Chief and Kylie and Serena being
held at gun point by two angels.
!
Mason: Shoulda gone right...
ACT 3

183

(21) We can see the overcast slowly moving over Ambi city which means Vampire
Police Chief is getting pretty darn close to being able to Airdrop the information to his
home computer.
(22) Cut back to Bridge.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Let me make everyone gods or Ill have these two blown
apart.
!
Mason: Wait...
Awkward Beat.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Umm are you gonna...
!
Mason: Hold on...
Everyone looks uncomfortable. Kylie has an opiphany.
!
Kylie: Oh for the love of-
Kylie elbow jabs the angel beside her causing him to accidentally blow Serenas head
off. Vampire Police Chief, Mason and the two angels are speechless and stand in
horror. Kylie plucks the the gun from the angels hand and fires a round into both of the
angels heads.
!
Mason: Kylie, what the-
!
Kylie: Mason think about it, where do you go when you die? He mentioned it
would take him 30 minutes to transfer the files, dont be too long.
Kylie smirks and then turns the gun on her own head and fires. Her body falls to the
ground leaving only Mason, Milo and Vampire Police Chief in the room.
!
Vampire Police Chief: To be honest that was even a little too intense for me...
and I killed most of the angels in here.
Vampire Police Chief takes a seat and a deep breath.
!
Mason: So Im gonna press this detonator if you dont turn heaven around right
now.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Okay...
!
Mason: Wait... okay?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Ya sure do it. Youll respawn outside the pearly gates like
the rest of them, but Andres already dead. Which means a memory erase and
reinsertion into a new body.
!
Mason: Where is he?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hes in gods hand now.
!
Mason: Not if I have if I-
!
Vampire Police Chief: No I mean hes literally with God right now.
!
Mason: Oh... well... Im gonna go grab him.
Mason turns to leave and is immediately shot in the face by Chad Smith.
!
Vampire Police Chief (back to normal self, horrifiedness was just an act): Good
job Chad, wanna toss me that detonator.
Reveal: The detonator is missing... and so is Milo!
(23) Milo hopping down the hall with the detonator in his mouth.
!

184

(24) Mason respawns at the pearly gates with everyone else (Andres crew, super
super gay couple, Serena, Kylie) and realizes he has to go back in to heaven to get
Andre out. But now if any of them die it will be for real, theres no coming back.
(25) Milo is chased by Chad who then gets taken out by a surprise Landlords ju-jit-su.
!
Landlord: More like Blue Cold... Chilli Peppers... really should have taken that
second improv class...
(26) Mason, Serena, Kylie, (etc.) cross the tram line in remaining hovercraft. When
they get to the entrance of the city the tank is waiting for them to blow them apart. The
Super Super Gay Couple make out one last time knowing its the end. The tank stands
down and the angels pop out.
(27) Landlord and Milo escaping.
!
Landlord: Go grab Andre , I have one more thing I gotta do.
(27) Andre with God again.
!
Andre: So then how do I go about living knowing everything is fabricated?
!
God: Reality is more than exactly what it is, Drake didnt actually start from the
bottom, its an anthem. Life is an anthem.
!
Andre: We have to blow up heaven, will you hold that against us.
!
God: That is a pretty uncool thing to do.
The door swings open and Milo hops in and onto Andre.
!
God: Aww okay I cant stay mad at that.
!
Andre: I gotta go.
!
God: Ill be watching.
!
(28) Andre and Milo meet the crew outside on their hovercraft surrounded by angels.
!
Mason: Good to see you again.
!
Andre: Do any of them know were blowing up heaven?
!
Mason: Nope, also we have to leave super super gay couple behind.
!
Kylie: Five more minutes until those files transfer, lets go!
(29) The group swooshes out the pearly gates with 2 minutes to spare.
!
Mason: Huh... was getting a feeling it would be more of a down to the wire
thing.
Everyone boards the alien fightercrafts waiting for them and they start to fly away.
Andre, Kylie, Serena, Mason and Milo gather around the detonator, about to press it.
(30) Chad Smith in the control room with Vampire Police Chief.
!
Chad Smith: They got away.
!
Vampire Police Chief: No worries I sent the files already.
!
Chad Smith: I thought you said it would take 30 minutes?
!
Vampire Police Chief: Oh no no no, that was all just theatrics. You really think it
takes half an hour to send a damn word document? What I did was much better. I
made them mortal again.

185

Vampire Police Chief poofs into a bat and flyies from the Central Intelligence Building
and out the gold fence just as heaven erupts into an atomic white explosion.
(31) God and Ted arguing in Gods room.
!
Ted: You need to enunciate more, you mumble too much.
God grumbles.
!
God: Ya okay Ted but who-
Theres a rumble.
!
Ted: What was that?
TZZT! The lights crack off and the bright light that was god dims until all thats left is a
window out into a coffee shop with words in courier new, backwards across the glass.
As if we were staring out through the back of a script.
(32) A young man approaching his laptop in a Coffeebucks with the tea hes just picked
up. He notices the black screen on his laptop.
!
Young Man: Aw crap!
!
Silhouette Man: Whats wrong?
!
Young Man: Macbook just crashed.
(33) The group watches (hands all on the detonator) as the debris from heaven falls
onto the aliens mothership, protecting the city. As the fightercraft returns to earth the
group speaks with President Alien in the ships breakroom.
!
President Alien: We understand Vampire Police Chief was trying to send your
scripts to his laptop to expose reality for what it is.
!
Kylie: We made sure to blow up heaven before they could fully transfer.
!
President Alien: Oh... well... hmm how do I put this. He did.
!
Mason: What!?
!
President Alien: Good news is we intercepted the files, bad news ya guys
probably didnt need to blow up heaven.
!
Andre: Why didnt you say anything before we did?!
!
President Alien: We had no idea thats the route you were taking, remember
everything we knew about the plan, cause that was not included.
!
Serena: Damn, ya hes right.
!
President Alien: More good news though, if you wanna check out your scripts we
have them. Also the scripts from your future!
!
Mason: Naw I think were good.
(34) Vampire Police Chief coming back home.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Hey kids! Sorry daddy took so long- oh I see you finished
the snack I left you.
A withered, wrinkled husk of Badass Mozart sits in the middle of the room. Vampire
Police Chief makes his way into the kitchen.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Dont worry I have a plan for-
Reveal: Virginia (his wife [non-vampired]) is in the doorway with a teary smile.
!
Virginia: Welcome home Mark.
!
Vampire Police Chief: But how?

186

!
Virginia: A friend of yours.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Bank Robber?
!
Virginia: No silly, I forget his name, but he said he babysits the kids sometimes.
!
Vampire Police Chief (smirking): Landlord...
!
Virginia: Now come have lunch. Macaroni and hot dogs, and I didnt even have
to go to the store, the guy across the street gave me a deal from his cart.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Im sorry but I really only ea- wait guy across the street?
Vampire Police Chief looks out the window and sure enough theres Silhouette Man and
the Destiny Dog cart.
!
Vampire Police Chief: Ya... ya I think Ill have some.
(35) Perspective of Silhouette Man watching Vampire Police Chiefs house from the
street.
!
Silhouette Man: And end scene.
(Homages: Wizard of OZ)

Interpretable Moral:
(1) Your willpower will always be stronger than you think.
Additions/Subtractions to Universe:
(-) American Heaven
(-) American God
(-) Chad Smith (again)
(+) Vampire Police Chiefs wife

187

DIRECTION OF FUTURE SEASONS


Season 2:
The first season ends with Vampire Police Chief finally getting his wife back and it is
implied that he is given the screenwriting power our protagonists have. Since the group
cant have Vampire Police Chiefs scripts mashing with theirs they decide to let him join
their group (with heavy reservation). Story-wise one of my favorite tropes is the bad
guy joins the good guys (honestly I think its one of everyones favorite tropes). Just
think of how giddy you got when you first realized Arnold was the good guy in T2 or
when Magneto and Xavier join forces. Is there ulterior motives or is this really a new
leaf?
Vampire Police Chiefs contributions are laced with good intentions, but generally
involve some form of destruction for the greater good. An element which begs to ask
the question is violence sometimes the answer?
Mason develops more of an apathy to the answers he was seeking in the first season
and starts to subscribe to Vampire Police Chiefs philosophies.
Andre feels the need to uncover more answers and test the limits of his powers. Script
writing becomes his next master-able objective.
Kylie struggles with her tendency to manipulate people which Vampire Police Chief
encourages.
Serena begins to experiment with her newly acquired screenwriting power and finds
shes far better than any of the others at it.
Much of the season would also bring focus to the fact that all the supporting characters
involved in the first season finale are now viewers. They may not be able to write
episodes, but they can now recognize when parts of the universe are changed.
I see a lot of emphasis on Mason and Andres relationship falling apart as Mason starts
siding more and more with Vampire Police Chief and Kylie. As well I see Andre really
developing a respect for Serenas talent and possibly even pursuing something
romantic.
The season culminates in a decision that ultimately divides the group into two factions:
Vampire Police Chiefs (Mason and Kylie) and Serenas (Milo, Andre and Landlord).

188

Season 3:
With the second season ending with a splitting of the group it sets up a great foundation
for the third to concentrate on the competition and friction between the two sets of
ideologies. Vampire Police Chiefs everything for the greater good and Serenas live
and let be. The two factions would each take half of the city and agree to only have
their scripts take place on their half so theres no overlap. Of course breaking the line in
the sand will fuel many of the season three plots as well as competitions between the
two groups to discover who is the better writers.
I also like the idea of the two most self-righteous characters (Mason and Kylie) ending
up on the team with the weakiest morals, while the two most apathetic characters
(Andre and Serena) become the active voice of reason.
Vampire Police Chief becomes much more sympathetic as the season goes on to
whether or not hes actually doing the right thing. This time around it is actually Mason
enabling him.
Masons goals become increasingly more Malcomn X-ish (by any means necessary).
His fixation on fixing leads him to make brash decisions and abandon most of his moral
code.
Andre begins to find more humanity and empathy from hanging out with Serena and
Landlord. By the end of the season I see them becoming a power couple that genuinely
care and appreciate each other. Andre is the reason Serenas applied herself and
Serenas the reason Andre feels purpose, hope and humanity.
Kylies arc will focus mainly on starting to take a step back from everything and
questioning her own desire for power. As Mason and Vampire Police Chief do more and
more highly questionable actions, conscious starts to waver.
Serenas arc involves her becoming more and more of a team leader. Improving her
skills and really engaging herself in the process of writing.
Another element of the third season would be bringing in new writers. With the group
split, each faction looks for new potential members for their side. We could experience
different styles like a Tim and Eric style screenwriter (zany, non-sensical), an Edgar
Write style screenwriter (sharp, physically comedic, creative transitions), a Tarantino
style screenwriter (everythings hyper violent, dialogue that has nothing to do with the
plot but is super fascinating) or an M. Night Shamalyan style screenwriter (twists!
everywhere a twist!).
The season would culminate in a showdown between the two factions (writing
completion or something) that would ultimately lead to both groups and the new writers
being disbanded. No one wants to write with anyone else anymore.

189

Season 4:
At the end of season three everyone decides to go their own way. Season four will
concentrate on bringing the group back together as friends, but friends that have
evolved. Have you ever met someone you were best friends with years ago only to
realize theyre a completely different person. This season will be about rekindling that
friendship with the understanding that what youre working on is new and trying to
recreate the old is a losing battle.
The season begins with everyone realizing that maybe all the writers working on their
own thing doesnt make for a great city to live in. One day youre not sure if a volcano is
about to emerge from the street or if a velociraptor might take you down. Andre
approaches Mason about putting an end to the chaos.
We follow Mason and Andre as they repair their relationship and bring the group back
together. Their ultimate goal is to wrangle everyone with a screenwriting power,
convince them not to do their own thing and reform into one supergroup.
Vampire Police Chief has become a sort of world vigilante, using his screenwriting
powers to help him take down warlords as well as shady white collar criminals. His final
development leads him to discover that much of the good he does for the world is
hindered by the other screenwriters. He racks his brain over what to do about them.
Perhaps taking them all out would be the right thing to do.
Mason takes a step back and takes a good look at himself. He concentrates on
returning to his morals with a new perspective.
Andre is becoming more of an active fixer. He finds himself feeling better about himself
when hes preventing future tragedy and remedying a situation. No doubt Serena is an
influence.
Kylie is the only one using her powers sparingly. Shes realizing she doesnt need
power and status as much in her life anymore and concentrates more on improving
herself without manipulating others. That is until the group needs her manipulating
skills to lure the other writers in.
Serenas development will involve her new obsession with her skills. If she cant use
her skills to gather up all the other writers, what kind of writer is she! Lucky enough she
has Andre to have her back when she breaks down.
The season culminates with the group finally getting everyone back together and
coming to an agreement that in order to not screw things up theyll have to write as a
team again and that things will be fair and fun this time around. With everything neatly
resolved and each character with a genuine affinity for the others, Vampire Police Chief
arrives and reveals that hes gone and done something. With the help of the aliens he
wiki-leaked their scripts and let the world know about their powers. Season four ends
with the entire planet being converted to unmalleable viewers.

190

Season 5:
The fourth season ends with Vampire Police Chief deciding whats best for the world is
not taking out the writers group, but having them held accountable for their actions. So
with the world now able to observe the scripts they write, they will be judged. Season
five is all about the group realizing how selfish theyve been. Its like if at the end of
Bruce Almighty everyone found out Jim Carrey had the power of god for a week and
fixed nothing with it.
Another interesting element to be explored would be worship. If the world found out
they had gods living among them that could grant anything how would they react?
Some would be outraged no doubt, droves would worship and some I imagine would
choose to use lethal force in order to preserve the sanctity of their own religion.
Vampire Police Chief would be seen as a selfless hero by the population for using his
powers to save as many people as possible and thereby earn their respect. The world
sees him as the most noble god and hangs on his every word and decision. His
challenge is to oversee the rest of the writers while not succumbing to the absolute
power corrupts absolutely.
Mason having been the fixer of the group is ashamed to have been as selfish as he
was for so long and seeks to amend his actions by out-fixing Vampire Police Chief for
his position as the most noble god.
Andre isnt so much ashamed of his previous acts of selfishness and takes a route
where he justifies his actions to the people. Surprising the world agrees with his
motives. However he finds himself having to come to the defense of Serena who the
earth deems a menace.
Kylie finds her pursuit of power and status have been misguided, because now that she
has both she feels more empty than she ever has. Shes sick of the fame and just
wants a new start.
Serena finds herself to be the most criticized of the group for being the most talented
and doing nothing about it. Everything she says or does is hated to the point where she
also just wants a new start.
The season culminates with Andre ultimately becoming the writer the people look up to
most. Mason and Vampire Police Chief are thrown by the decision and form a truce
knowing that what each of them has been doing was helping people. Serena and Kylie
decide to leave Earth with the Aliens and start anew on the aliens home planet.
Unfortunately this means her and Andre will have to break up. Already tearing up just
thinking about this goodbye.
Seasons 6 and Beyond:
Demonstrating the aliens have been evil the whole time. Themes of love, friendship,
consciousness and that everyone already has it in them to make a change in the world.

191

Season One Timeline

195

Biographical
Character Timelines

196

197

198

199

CLOSING THOUGHTS FROM THE CREATOR


Hey congrats! Both you and I cant believe you made it this far / decided to desecrate
the show bible and just jump to the last page!
Scripted originated as an idea for an animated webseries alongside several other
pitches (a situation comedy at a bar in space [Space Bar] and a dialogue heavy,
Archer-eque show regarding the staff of a Jurassic Park [Triassicland]). Although a
considerable interest was received in the projects, the issue holding back production
seemed to be the length of each episode. They would come in at almost twice the
studios desired length and the production company wasnt willing to make an exception
to produce them. Which was fair enough. I was a little stubborn and close-minded
about the process and ultimately paid the price.
Part of the reason I refused to shorten my episodes was because I was in love with
character development. And after putting in time researching a variety of different web
series and TV series I discovered why:
(1) The popular series in the 3 minute range on Youtube (Dick Figures, Cloud Face,
Marsh Mallow People) are incredibly high paced, non-sensical and are driven by
comedic absurdity. In fact most of the entertainment comes from not knowing what the
hell is about to happen and being left in a state of what the fuck did I just watch
afterwards. Its very Tim and Eric, the internet loves it and to be honest its a guilty
pleasure of mine as well.
(2) The popular series in the longer formats (Rick and Morty, Adventure Time, South
Park) allow more room to develop the characters and as a result dont need to rely
heavily on jerking the narrative around so violently to elicit comedy. Instead the humor
comes from our evolving understanding of the characters and their actions that we may
or may not expect. For example in a show like South Park when a character like Kyle
says oh Cartmans not gonna like this, the viewer knows Cartman and how he
generally reacts to situations so theres an excitement in knowing approximately what
youre in for and then experiencing the payoffs. And when the payoff isnt what you
expected your understanding of the character actually grows more and adds layers. As
a result the followings for these shows are enormous.
(3) The popular series in the 3 minute range retain and grow a large audience early in
their series. However as the absurdity and act of spontaneity becomes predictable the
following significantly drops and continues to do so as the series progresses.
(4) The popular series in the longer formats begin with a niche following, then continue
to grow exponentially as the series progresses. The ability to retain its audience is built
on an investment in the characters and a respect for the direction of the show and
competency of the writing.

200

Understandably I felt more of a connection to the longer format, but didnt feel I was in
the right place skill-wise to pull off a successful 22-minute pilot. So I put the pitches on
the back burner and decided to concentrate on my stand up comedy for the next year.
A decision that would result in two country-wide tours, the most recent being sponsored
by Mazda across 10 provinces and 60 shows. In my off time I would write sketches and
scribble notebooks of ideas.
At the end of my most recent tour I decided to try my hand at writing several specs for tv
shows. And after penning a well received episode of Archer I chose to try my hand at
an original series with an accompanying show bible. Looking back over my pitches it
was clear to me which idea had the most potential.
Scripted in its infancy was about two characters, Mason and Andre. But after writing
for Archer I discovered the importance of A, B and potentially C plots running along side
each other. This meant a bit of an overhaul and reimagining. If I was going to do this I
was going to do it right. Luckily my apartment came with whiteboard walls (ya theyre
pretty friggin amazing) for brainstorming.
The best stories and characters Ive always found are the ones that grow. So to make
Scripteds development more compelling I decided to define each character by their
worst attributes, their flaws (which happen to also be my own). Their addictions to their
shortcomings would provide a foundation for personal growth as well as justify conflict
between themselves and their fellow characters.
Another creative choice I made was giving each character a tragic backstory. Tragedy
plus time equals comedy, is the saying. A quote Ive found particularly true in real life.
In fact almost all of the most interesting, hilarious and sharp witted people Ive met have
had origins in a screwed up youth. Tragedy breeds strong, defined people and I wanted
to make sure that each character had a fitting backstory worthy of their attributes.
The final addition I made to Scripted was heart. I find many comedies these days
forget this aspect. If the audience doesnt care about the characters the jokes cant hit
with their full potential. You always hear people pining for the classic days of shows like
The Simpsons because back then the show had heart. Listening to Dan Harmons
podcast its clear that his devotion to this aspect has been a key to his projects
success. Footsteps I would be honored to follow
Ultimately Scripted is about being able to take control of your own reality (powers or not)
and do something with your life. It doesnt matter where you came from, what baggage
you carry or how far gone you may be, everyone has it in them to reach their true
potential with the help of friends and a dedication to ones own growth. Its theme Im
currently working on in my own life and hope to develop alongside this show.
Best Regards,
Michael Flamank

FOR YOUR
CONSIDERATION

CREATED BY:
MICHAEL FLAMANK
2015
michaelflamank@gmail.com
(647) 461-0563