Responding to Assumptions

Submitted by Aaron Escalante

Salt Lake Community College
COMM 1010 010
7-10-2015

For as long as I can remember, Ive always paid close attention to what people say; and
this would lead me to noticing patterns in speech. After collecting more of these speech patterns,
I slowly became started to guess what people would say when they talked to me. At first, I was
not very successful. More than not, I would get it completely off; but in due time, I honed my
skills until I could reach a level so high it appeared as if I could read your mind. However, no
matter how accurate I may be, it is still assuming, and it leads to me not listening as intently as I
used to. I need to listen more effectively without assuming how the receiver will respond.
Description of Problem
When in a conversation with someone, I assume what the receiver will say, lowering the
effectiveness of my listening skills. The text directly addresses my problem when it states,
Listening may seem like a natural abilitylike breathing. After all, you might say, Ive been
listening since I was a child. (Communicating at Work, pg. 61). This creates consequences in
that I sometimes miss important details that someone, whether my friend or my boss, might tell
me. For example, my mother once asked me to put the white laundry in the washer, but I didnt
listen to that detail and put the colored first. Because of that error, my mother didnt have any
socks for the day. I would like to prevent events like that from happening again.
Resources and Constraints
The textbook and power points for this class provide much information regarding
listening skills and how to effectively communicate that I can use to create a plan towards fixing
my issue. Communicating at Work: Strategies for Success in Business and the Professions has an
entire chapter dedicated to listening. In its intro, the text says, It [Listening] involves far more
than sitting passively and absorbing others words. (Communicating at Work, pg. 59). To

effectively change my habit, I will need to practice this with friends and family. These resources
will allow me to develop an effective plan of action. However, breaking a habit is hard, making
myself the constraint. I need to study and develop a plan to raise my listening back to the level of
a more mindful listener.
Recommendations
In order to regain a higher level of listening, I need to first address the problem that I
assume what people are saying, whether my assumptions be right or wrong. The beginning of
Chapter 3 in the text list several assumptions regarding listening (pg. 60-62), but for my problem,
the fourth assumption, Listening is a Natural Ability (pg.61). The text states that according to
evidence, most people overestimate their ability to listen. Then the text clearly provides a series
of actions in sub-headers one can take to becoming a more effective listener, making the process
easier for me to complete. The actions are on pages 66 to 71.
The first action is to Withhold Judgment (pg. 66). It states that instead of judging what
the communicator is saying, one should focus more on understanding what the communicator is
saying. Letting the communicator finish his or her statement while noting details instead of
criticizing or assuming will improve listening efficiency. While I was putting colored laundry
into the washer, knowing that my mother would ask, I didnt actually listen to understand that
she needed the white laundry instead. To make progress on preventing situations from occurring
again, I could make a mental effort to focus on listening to understand what the communicator is
saying to me instead of judging the person and guessing what theyre going to say. This would
contribute to changing my habit of assuming to a habit of understanding.

The second action is titled Talk and Interrupt Less (pg.68). The text states here that
there should be more focus on listening rather than commenting. I may not be directly
interrupting the communicator by talking, but when I think I know what they say, my body
language may send the message that I want them to hurry up. That can create an environment
where the communicator may feel interrupted or shut out. Its important that I remember to focus
on what the person is saying without appearing rushed so that he or she will give the full
message without feeling interrupted. Following that will make me a more mindful listener and
closer to achieving my goal.
The next action is to Ask Questions (pg. 68). The text explains the difference between
sincere and counterfeit questions and how to ask sincere questions for clarification. Sometimes,
even when intently listening, some outside noise can block an important detail being sent by the
communicator. Had I asked a sincere question to my mother about which basket of laundry to
wash, I could have avoided the situation. Therefore, when Im listening and dont hear a detail; I
will try to ask for clarification instead of assuming what the communicator said. However, I must
also be mindful not to interrupt the communicator too many times.
Continuing on, the fourth action is to Paraphrase (pg. 69). Here, the text tells the reader
that paraphrasing ensures that the message got across accurately. It also warns that paraphrasing
does not work effectively if the person trying to ensure accuracy is acting like a parrot. To
become a more effective listener, I could paraphrase people when they are communicating with
me to ensure that the message they want to send me is clear and without inaccuracies.
The fifth action is to Attend to Nonverbal Cues (pg. 71). The text ensures to lay out that
when communicating, the receiver should be looking at how the person is communicating and
not just what. If I am assuming what the communicator is saying, I am more likely to not even

pick up the emotion or iceberg tips inside the content being encoded. I can make sure to listen
not only to what a person is saying, but to also look at their body language and tone to pick up
the unspoken details. This can be accomplished by practicing the exercise on page 71 where you
see that a sentence spoken in different tones can have different meanings.
As the final action, the text says to Take Notes (pg. 71). Taking notes can be helpful
when a large amount of important content is about to come and it shows the communicator that
you really care. This step may not be very effective for something that can easily be
remembered, but for a list of instructions, I would likely benefit from writing down key parts.
That would give me the ability to check back on my notes to ensure I dont miss or forget a detail
that I might have otherwise.
If I put what the book says into practice, I will be able to listen more effectively without
assuming what the communicator is sending me and risking the possibility of receiving
inaccurate information. The text summarizes listening with the intent of understanding by saying
it, requires withholding judgment, taking and interpreting less, seeking feedback by asking
sincere (not counterfeit) questions, paraphrasing, attending to nonverbal cues, and taking notes.
(Communicating at Work, pg. 73) The knowledge and advice from the book provided me with a
bases on which I can use with a partner to practice effective listening. With this combination, I
will be able to form a habit of a mindful listener and shake my habit of assumption.
Conclusion
I have a problem with assuming what people are saying when they communicate with me. That
can lead to inaccurate information being received and a more hostile environment. However, I
am learning that by applying the actions towards becoming an effective listener in the book and

by practicing listening with a person who can help me, I will be able to effectively listen and
respond without the risk of misinterpreting what they are communicating. I am excited to
implement this plan into my daily life and seeing how it helps me become the effective listener I
used to be.
Works Cited
Adler, Ronald, Jeanne Elmhorst, and Kristen Lucas. Communicating at Work: Strategies
for Success in Business and the Professions. 11th ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2013. 462. Print.