By Telephone

In the year 1900 the Philippines was for the first time connected with the Motherland by means
of a Telephone Line by an English-Catalonian firm called The Trans-Oceanic Telephone
Company, well known in its time for its truly enterprising spirit.
Thanks to the perfection of the instruments, there could be heard in Madrid the mystical sighs of
the friars here as they prayed with great piety before the sacred images, likewise their humble
talk, their words of conformity and resignation, and even their thanksgiving for the alms of rice
and fish which the people gave out of compassion for their fasting and abstinence. Such was the
perfection of the telephone that even the silence which prevailed in the refectories could be
transmitted, and from the noise of mastication, it could be definitely known that the most
gluttonous of the friars did not eat over five mouthfuls a day.
How poor and virtuous these priests are! exclaimed he affected democrats in Madrid.
How poor and virtuous these priests are! repeated the telephone in the Philippines, and this
was circulated everywhere, in the convents, churches, and so forth.
Upon learning this, the friars reduced further the quantity of their morels fearing that there might
be a hungry native. They taught the youth how to read and write and forcibly also instructed
them in the Spanish language, not seldom suffering insults and fist-blows from the parents of the
youths for daring to open their eyes.
God be praised! the friars would answer, turning the other cheek saying: All for the sake of
God and Mother Spain!
Thus they continued to teach just as soon as the despotic native had gone away, if the
Government, impelled by the parents, would not institute action against them for teaching an
offense constituting a great crime by endangering the integrity of the country.
By request of the natives, the Overseas Minister, the Procurator of the Augustinian friars one
day telephoned from Madrid to Manila, is offering our Order an hacienda in order that the friars
might not die of hunger but live with a certain comfort. What shall I answer him?
The telephone transmitted the offer to the Augustinian convent.
O Jesus, my Jesus! Holy God, might Saint, immortal Saint! May God protect us from all
temptation exclaimed all the friars, and on hearing this news, they dropped on their knees and
covered their ears.
Lord, Lord! cried the Provincial beating his breast soundly, and not as one who would only
deceive the faithful to get money from them.

I have ruined the little soul of Salvadorcito by sending him to Madrid as the Procurator! He
was so good, so humble, so simple, so ingenuous, so silent, so chaste, and so frank when he was
here! Now he is ruined! Imagine giving such proposals, such sinful ones! Alas! Alas! Domine
quare deleriquiste eum? Oh, Lord, why didst thou forsake him?
All the inmates of St. Augustine groaned, and all the friars were beating their breasts and
scourging one another to do penance and to bring the soul of little Salvadorcito Tont to the right
path.
All this consternation in the convent of St. Augustine was heard in Madrid by telephone, and
Salvadorcito Tont exclaimed with the simple air of a good boy:
I wonder if they have imprisoned all my brothers for failing to read all the pamphlets which the
natives published against them, insulting them with ecclesiastical approval! After all, this has
been rightly done. Who commands to answer and counter?
If they insult us in the booklets we, as imitators and ministers of Christ, should be compelled to
read them all, especially if there are indulgences, and they should prohibit us from answering
them and defending ourselves. That is why we have vows of haughtiness. . . . I am going
immediately to see the Minister and ask him to flog any priest of my religion who through pride,
will not say Amen to everything and regard the truth; he will thus see that, although a
simpleton, I do not lack love of Justice. . .
Then he looked for his shoes with holes in the soles because what he had on had no soles. The
good Augustinian had to go on foot to the Ministry, as he does not even have carfare,
notwithstanding his vow of wealth!
Salvadorcito, Salvadorcito! called the telephone.
Salvadorcito recognized the voice of the Provincial and began to tremble, as he was very
obedient.
At your orders, Father! he answered and he knelt down by the telephone in order to be in a
more respectful position, although this was forbidden by his vow of haughtiness.
How did you permit yourself to be tempted by the enemy of evil into accepting for a moment
the offer to give us a hacienda? My son, did you not perceive that this was only a trap laid by the
enemy, inspired, no doubt, by that damned soul, Rizal, so that we may thus become rich,
haughty, powerful, and licentious because that wretch from Calamba desires nothing better than
that we practice our vows of wealth, haughtiness, and licentiousness which the sacrilegious
founders have imposed upon us all? Dont you dare again listen to such offers. Here we not
only work and construct our churches with our hands, we not only sow and help the poor, but
what little they give us, we, in turn, hand over to the rich and proud in order that they may
tyrannize us more so that their greed may be increased and they may exploit and ruin us the

more, put us in prison, exile us, and so forth. . . Thus we spread the law of Christ everywhere in
the islands were we are exiled; then there will be more imitators. . . There is not one faithless
Igorot left, not even a single non-Christian in the mountains; all have been baptized and they all
exploit us as good Christians. What you should propose to the Minister in order that our doctrine
may triumph, is that he emulate the Roman praetors [= a Roman magistrate rly] and send us
cruel and bloodthirsty governors to violate the laws and persecute us. Thus will the dormant one
awaken, the lukewarm be strengthened, and the attention of the indifferent who are now so
many be aroused. . . Remember that in order to make a cause triumph, it is necessary that it be
persecuted. Let them go ahead and persecute us! Thus will the dormant one awaken, the
lukewarm be strengthened and the attention of the indifferent who are now so many be
aroused. . . Remember that in order to make a cause triumph, it is necessary that it be
persecuted. Let them go ahead and persecute us! In the meantime, I impose as a penance upon
you, who are neither vain nor insincere, to have your picture taken in several positions, but
always in the attitude of meditating, or as if writing a sermon, with pen in hand, and beside a
lamp, wearing eyeglasses, even though you dont need them; do you understand? You will
exhibit these photographs in public so that everyone will say, even if it is not believed, What a
thinker he is; what a great orator Salvadorcito Tont must be! He is always writing sermons and
has to time even to have his picture taken! This will make you miserable, because even if you
have the vows of wealth, haughtiness and licentiousness, you pay no attention to them. . . Dont
forget to have your picture taken in a pensive mood and as a comedian! God be with you!
Thy will be done! sighed Salvadorcito resignedly, and his whole house resounded with
laments.
Salvadorcito was so humble that he was tortured by the idea of appearing in public, even if only
in a photograph, and that is why, whenever he had to preach, he assumed a hollow and cavernous
voice to make his hearers afraid and see if they would leave him alone.
Salvadorcito, Salvadorcito! again shouted the telephone.
At your orders, the good procurator answered, and this time he fell on his hands and knees so
that he could listen more reverently to his Provincial.
Request the Minister not to make Fr. Rodriguez a bishop. Tell him that he is very busy
researching and looking for words deriving fromCalamba, such as Calamban, Calambanian,
Calamian, Calam, etc. Imagine what a task this is fro him! He is sweating to beat the band! He
has no time to be a bishop, although he would make a good one, because he is condemned by our
Father, St. Augustine, to be stupid all his life. For Gods sake, dont let them make him a
bishop!
It is not the Minister who wants to make him a Bishop, but the Dominicans who wish to avoid
the office, owing to the spirit of haughtiness! answered Salvadorcito.

Then tell the Minister that there is nobody like the Dominicans for bishops. I know one here
who is so friendly to the natives and an enemy of our faith that he does not let the Chinese take
part in ceremonies, although he knows very well that as soon as they leave the country they give
up Christianity. They take to Christianity for convenience. Among Chinese, the worst Christians
they are the better persons they become. The Dominicans know this and even if the Chinese
offer to give them money, they would not accept it. No, sir! They manage to prevent the natives
from quarreling with the mestizos and the latter from quarreling with the Chinese, all against the
express mandate of Jesus Christ to divide in order to rule. For this disobedience, they ought to
be made bishops. They should be made to carry miters on their heads as symbol of pride, like
the Assyrian and Persian priests who wore such ornaments. These people follow Machiavelli,
that accursed Machiavelli, who said that peace and harmony should be preached.
Talking about harmony, do you know, Salvadorcito, that Father Baldomero and another one
went to visit the college bearing the same name, which is a school for girls, if you dont
remember well. . . Of course, they did not visit the dormitories while the girls were dressing and
changing their clothes, neither did they talk with the prettiest girls, and the few words they
exchanged with them were not said in the dark nor behind doors far from other people. . . Oh, but
what misery they suffered! They who were so chaste, so virtuous and so pure-minded! The
Sisters were so aloof, so unaccommodating and so intolerant! All the time they were there they
talked only of God always assuming a penitent and solemn mood!
Alas, alas!
Why, whats the matter, Salvadorcito?
Please take me away from the Office of Procurator, because here I am suffering what
Baldomero and the other fellow must have suffered in the girls College. What a lot of beautiful
girls and women. . . Oh, my! I wish to go back to Manila! Madrid is doomed!
Here the natives will imprison and exile you without trial! For simply writing a secret report
they will. . .
Never mind!
You will die of hunger and will not ride a coach!
I travel on foot here.
I warn you that you will have to salute the natives, otherwise they will file an administrative
case against you, and exile you.
I dont care! I prefer all that to living among beautiful. . . women.
Remember that if you do not accommodate the gobernadorcillo, he will accuse you of being
anti-Spanish. . ..

I will protest and say that I love Spain.

They wont believe you, because the natives are very rich and they publish pamphlets against
the friars with permission of the authorities.
Then what shall I do? Oh, what shall I do?
Remain there as Procurator.
Oh, my!
Present Chinese and Japanese gifts to the Ministers, the Delegates, and the Senators in order to
promote our ends.
Yes, thats it, the Chinese! And what else?
Wait until they make you a Bishop.
Oh, my!
And later, a Cardinal!
Alas
But in the meanwhile, you must have the government award crosses, estates, and offices to our
enemies.
And suppose they will engineer a revolt and claim that it is we who are behind it because we are
bistirufels?
Silence.
What shall I say about bistriufelism?
Silence.
Bistirufelism did you say? answered a voice at last. You tell the Minister that it does not
exist, but if he wants it to exist, just let him think about it and it will. Tell him that we have
already suffered too much, that we suffer now and will suffer more. However, as nothing is
eternal in this life, our sufferings will some day come to an end, that day when we are convinced
that the Government is with our enemies.

Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which
vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the
intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government or society itself, into
improvement.

a way of using humor to show that someone or something is foolish, weak, bad, etc.
: humor that shows the weaknesses or bad qualities of a person, government,
society, etc.
: a book, movie, etc., that uses satire
the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, inexposing, denouncing, or deriding vi
ce, folly, etc.

a literary composition, in verse or prose, in whichhuman folly and vice are held up t
o scorn, derision,or ridicule.

a literary genre comprising such compositions.

Full Definition of SATIRE
1
: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2
: trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
See satire defined for English-language learners
See satire defined for kids
Examples of SATIRE
1. His movies are known for their use of satire.
2. The movie is a political satire.
3. By contrast, Martial's friend, Juvenal, learned to transmute Martial's
epigrammatic wit into savage satire. Juvenal's fierce, if occasionally obscene,
tirades against immorality fit easily into the propaganda of the new era. G.
W. Bowersock, New York Review of Books, 26 Feb. 2009

4. [+]more
Origin of SATIRE
Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin satura, satira, perhaps from
(lanx) satura dish of mixed ingredients, from feminine of satur well-fed; akin to
Latin satis enough more at sad
First Known Use: 1501
Related to SATIRE
Synonyms
lampoon, pasquinade
[+]more
See Synonym Discussion at wit
Other Literature Terms
apophasis, bathos, bildungsroman, bowdlerize, caesura, coda, doggerel,euphemism,
poesy, prosody

Satire is a technique employed by writers to expose and criticize foolishness and

corruption of an individual or a society by using humor, irony, exaggeration or
ridicule. It intends to improve humanity by criticizing its follies and foibles. A writer
in a satire uses fictional characters, which stand for real people, to expose and
condemn their corruption.
A writer may point a satire toward a person, a country or even the entire world.
Usually, a satire is a comical piece of writing which makes fun of an individual or a
society to expose its stupidity and shortcomings. In addition, he hopes that those he
criticizes will improve their characters by overcoming their weaknesses.
Satire and Irony
Satire and irony are interlinked. Irony is the difference between what is said or done
and what is actually meant. Therefore, writers frequently employ satire to point at
the dishonesty and silliness of individuals and society and criticize them by
ridiculing them.
Examples of Satire in Everyday Life

Most political cartoons which we witness every day in newspapers and magazines
are examples of satire. These cartoons criticize some recent actions of political
figures in a comical way.
Some shows on television are satire examples like The Daily Show, The Colbert
Report, and The Larry Sanders Show. These shows claim to target what they think
are stupid political and social viewpoints.
Let us see a sample of Stephen Colberts social satire:
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesnt help the poor, either we have to
pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or weve got to acknowledge that
He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then
admit that we just dont want to do it.
Satire Examples in Literature
Example #1
There are numerous examples of satire in Mark Twains Huckleberry Finn. He uses
satire as a tool to share his ideas and opinion on slavery, human nature and many
other issues that afflicted American society at that time.
Below are a few citations from the novel that demonstrate satire:

Whats the use you learning to do right, when its troublesome to do right
and isnt no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same? (Chap 16)

There warnt anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there
warnt any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time
because its cool. If you notice, most folks dont go to church only when
theyve got to; but a hog is different. (Chap 18)

The pitifulest thing out is a mob; thats what an army isa mob; they dont
fight with courage thats born in them, but with courage thats borrowed from
their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any man at the head of
it is beneath pitifulness. (chap 22)

Example #2
Alexander Popes The Rape of the Lock is an example of poetic satire in which he
has satirized the upper middle class of eighteenth century England. It exposes the
vanity of young fashionable ladies and gentlemen and the frivolity of their actions.
For example, Pope says about Belinda after losing her lock of hair:
Whether the nymph shall break Dianas law,
Or some frail china jar receive a flaw,
Or stain her honor, or her new brocade

The line mocks at the values of the fashionable class of that age. The trivial things
were thought of as equal to significant things. For Belinda, the loss of her virtue
becomes equal to a China jar being cracked.
Example #3
Jonathan Swifts Gulliver Travels is one of the finest satirical works in English
Literature. Swift relentlessly satirizes politics, religion, and Western Culture.
Criticizing party politics in England, Swift writes,
that for above seventy Moons past there have been two struggling Parties in this
Empire, under the Names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan from the high and low
Heels on their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves.
During Swifts times, two rival political parties, the Whigs and the Tories, dominated
the English political scene. Similarly, The Kingdom of Lilliput is dominated by two
parties distinguished by the size of the heels of their boots. By the trivial disputes
between the two Lilliputian parties, Swift satirizes the minor disputes of the two
English parties of his period.
Function of Satire
The role of satire is to ridicule or criticize those vices in the society, which the writer
considers a threat to civilization. The writer considers it his obligation to expose
these vices for the betterment of humanity. Therefore, the function of satire is not to
make others laugh at persons or ideas they make fun of. It intends to warn the
public and to change their opinions about the prevailing corruption/conditions in
society.

SA PAMAMAGITAN NG TELEPONO

Jose Rizal

Noong taong 1900 ay kauna-unahang ikinabit ang Filipinas sa Madrid sa

pamamagitan ng kawad ng telepono. Ito'y inilagay ng isang samahang
pinamumunuan ng mga Ingless at mga Katalan. Ang samahang ito'y tinawag
na The Trans-Oceanic Telephone Co. na noong kanyang kapanahunan ay lubhang
napabantog sanhi sa mga kaisipang totoong pangahas.
Salamat sa lubos na kagalingan ng mga kasangkapan, ay maaaring
mapakinggan buhat sa Madrid ang mga mahiwagang buntong-hininga ng mga
prayle na nangagdarasal sa harap ng mga banal na larawan. Maririnig ang kanilang
mga panalanging batbat ng mga pagmamakaawa, ang kanilang mga pangungusap
na nagtataglay ng pagpapakumababa at pagsang-ayon sa kalooban ng Diyos.
Maririnig sampu ng kanilang pasasalamat tuwing sila'y tumatanggap ng mga limos
na bigas at tunsoy na ipinagkakaloob ng mga mamamayang habag na habag sa
kanila sapagka't walang tigil ang kanilang pangingilin at pag-aayuno. Gayon na
lamang kainam ng telepono na pati ng katahimikang naghahari sa mga silid-kainan,
at ang langutngot ng pagngalot ng mga prayle ay maririnig, at sa pamamagitan ng
mga ito'y tiyakang mapag-aalaman na kahit na ang pinakamatakaw sa mga prayle
ay hindi kumakain nang higit pa sa limang subo sa buong maghapon.
--Kayhihirap at kaybabanal nitong mga paring ito!--ang bulalas sa Madrid ng
mga makademokrasiya na nangabagbag ang loob.
--Kayhihirap at kaybabanal ng mga paring ito! Ang ulit ng telepono sa
Pilipinas, at ang papuring ito'y inilathala sa lahat ng dako, sa mga bahay-pari, sa
mga simbahan, at sa iba't iba pang lunan.
Nang ang papuring ito'y marinig ng mga prayle, ay lalo nang binawasan ang
kanilang subo sa takot na baka may sino mang indiyong nagugutom. Tinuturuang

bumasa at sumulat ang mga bata, at pilit nilang tinuturuan ng wikang kastila,
bagama't ang pagtuturong ito'y ikinapagtitiis nila ng hindi kakaunting paglait at
sampal ng mga magulang ng bata, dahil sa kapangahasang imulat ang mga mata
ng mga batang yaon.
Purihin nawa ang Diyos!--ang itinutugon ng mga prayle kung sila'y
sinasampal, sabay ng paghahandog ng kabilang pisngi. Ang lahat nang ito'y maging
aalang-alang sa kapurihan nawa ng Diyos at ng Inang Espanya!
At pagkaallis na pagkaalis ng naghahari-hariang indiyo ay ipinagpapatuloy
ng mga prayle ang pagtuturo, hanggang ang pamahalaan, sa sulsol ng mga
magulang, ay hindi sila tagan ng pagtuturo. Ang pagtuturo ay isang mabigat na
kasalanan, sapagka't ito'y nagsasapanganib sa kabuuan ng inang-bayan.
--Ang mga Ministro ng mga Lupaing Sakop sa Ibayo ng Dagat,--ang tawag,
isang araw, sa Maynila buhat sa Madrid sa telepono ng prokurador ng mga prayleng
Agustino--ang Ministro de Ultramar, sa kahilingan ng mga indiyo ay naghahandog sa
ating korporasyon ng isang asyenda upang ang mga pare ay huwag mamatay ng
gutom at mabuhay nang may kaunting kaluwagan. Ano ang isasagot sa kanya?
Inihatid ito ng telepono sa kumbento ng mga prayleng Aagustino.
--Hesus! Hesus! Banal na Diyos, Diyos na malakas, Diyos na walang
kamatayan! Huwag mo kaming ipahintulot sa anumang tukso -- ang bulalasan ng
lahat ng prayle nang kanilang marinig ang balita, kasabay ng pagluhod aat
pagtatakip ng kanilang mga tainga.
--Panginoon, Panginoon -- ang hibik ng Paring Probinsiya!, na dinadagukan
ang kanyang dibdib. Ang kanyang pagdagok ay totohanan at hindi pakitang-tao
lamang, gaya ng ginagawa ng isang nagtatangkang luminlang sa mga
nananampalataya upang ang mga ito'y makunan ng ilang kuwalta.-- Naipanganyaya
ko ang kaluluwa ni Salvadorsito noong siya'y ipadala ko sa Madrid upang
magprokurador. Siya'y lubhang mabait, lubhang mababa ang loob, totoong walang
pagmamarangya, totoong tapat ang loob, totoong walang kibo, totoong malinis,
totoong mapaniwalain noong siya'y naririto pa ! Ngayon, siya'y napariwara!
Magmungkahi sa amin ng ganyang mga panukalana lubhang makasalanan! Naku!
Ay! naku! Domine, quare derelequisti eum, Panginoon, bakit siya'y iyong
pinabayaan?
At ang buong kumbento ng San Agustin ay naghihibikan, nagdaragukan sa
dibdib aat naghahampasan ang isa't isa upang makapagsisi ng kanilang kasalanan
at mapabalik sa tuwid na landas ang kaluluwa ni Salvadorsito Font.
At sa Madrid ay naririnig (sa pamamagitan ng telepono) ang kaguluhan sa
kumbento ng San Agustin. At ang mabait na si Salvadorsito Font, dala ng kanyang
pagkapaniwalain ay nabulalas;

--Baka pa kaya ibinilanggo na ang lahat ng aking mga kapatiiid dahil sa

pagtanggi nilang bumasa ng mga aklat na inilalathala ng mga indiyo laban sa
kanila-- mga aklat na umaalipusta sa kanila, nguni't may pahintulot naman ng mga
may kapangyarihan sa sinmbahan! Kung aalagatain ng lahat, ay mabuti nga iyon!
Sino baga ang nag-uutos sa kanilang sumagot at tumugon?
Kaming mga tagatulad at mga alagad ni Kristo, kung kami'y nilalait sa mga
aklat, ay dapat kaming piliting bumasa ng mga ito, lalo na kung pinagkalooban ng
mga indulhensiya. Dapat din kaming pagbawalang sumagot o magtanggol sa aming
sarili. Para sa bagay na ito'y may panata kami ng pagpapalaloNgayon din ay
sasadyain ko ang Ministro upang mamanhik sa kanyang iutos niyang ipahagupit ang
sinumang pare as aking relihiyon, na dahil sa kapalaluan ay hindi umaamen sa lahat
ng bagay, at hindi gumagalang sa katotohanan. Sa ganitong paraan ay makikita
nila, na bagama't ako'y hangal, ay hindi naman ako kinukulang ng pagmamahal sa
Katarungan

At hinanap niya ang kanyang mga sapatos na butas-butas, sapagka't ang

nakasuot sa kanya ay walang suwelas. Dapat na maglakad ang mabait na Agustino
hanggang sa tanggapan ng Ministro, sapagka't wala siya kahit na pambayad sa
trambiya. At gayong siya'y nagpanata ng pagpapayaman!
--Salvadorsito, Salvadorsito!-- ang sigaw buhat sa telepono.
Nakilala ni Salvadorsito ang tinig ng Prayle Probinsiyal, at siya'y nanginig. Si
Salvadorsito ay lubhang masunurin.
--Mag-utos po ang inyong pagkaama!-- ang isinagot niya, at siya'y
nanikluhod sa tabi ng telepono upang sa ganitong anyo ay lalo siyang maging
mapitagan, bagama't ito'y ipinagbabawal sa kanya ng panata ng pagpapalalo.
--Bakit pinahintulutan mong ikaw ay tuksuhin ng kaaway ng kasamaan?
Bakit mo ikinalugod, kahit na sa isang saglit lamang, ang panukalang tayo'y
pagkalooban ng isang asyenda?
Bakit, anak ko? Hindi mo ba nakita na sa panukalang iyan ay nagtatago ang
isang silong iniumang sa atin ng kaaway? Walang pagsalang ang panukalang iyon
ay nagbuhat sa sinumpang si Rizal, upang sa gayong paraan ay yumaman tayo,
maging palalo, makapangyarihan at mahilig sa kalupaan. Hindi mo ba nalalaman na
ang sawimpalad na taga-Kalambang iyan ay walang minimithi kundi ang tayo'y
tumupad sa ating mga panata na magpayaman, magpalalo, at magmahalay, na sa
atin ay iniatang ng mga lapastangang nagtatag ng ating relihiyon? Kaya nga, huwag
kang makikinig na muli sa ganyang mga handog. Naiintindihan mo ba?
Dito kami'y hindi lamang gumagawa at nagtatayo ng mga simbahan sa
tulong ng aming mga bisig. Hindi lamang kami nagtatanim at sumasaklolo sa mga

dukha. Ang kaunting sa amin ay ibinibigay ay ipinagkakaloob pa namin sa mga

mayayaman aat sa mga nagmamataas upang kami'y lalo nilang pagmalupitan,
upang ang kanilang kasakima'y mag-ulol at kami'y kanilang pagsamantalahan at
paghiraping lalo't lalo, at upang kami'y ikulong nila sa mga bilangguan, ipatapon at
iba pa Sa ganitong paraan ay napalalaganap namin sa lahat ng dako ang
kautusan ni Kristo at naipangangaral namin sa mga pulo na sa amin ay
pinagtatapunan, at kumakapal ang tumutulad sa aminKaya naman wala ni isa
mang igorote, wala ni isa mang hindi sumasampalataya kahit na sa mga
bulubundukin, at lahat-lahat din ay nagsasamantala sa amin gaya nang
kinamihasnan ng mga kristiyano.
Ang nararapat mong imungkahi sa Ministro upang magtagumpay ang ating
aral ay ito: na nararapat nilang parisan ang mga "pretor" ng mga romano, at sila't
magpadala rito ng mga tagapamahalang malulupit, mahihilig sa dugo,
mangagsisiyurak sa mga batas at mangag-uusig sa atin. Sa ganyang paraan ay
magigising ang mga nahihimlay, magiging matibay ang mga nanghihina, at
mapupukaw ang pansin ng mga nagwawalang-bahala, na sadyang marami,
napakarami ang bilangTandaan mo na upang maipagwagi ang alin mang mithiin,
ito'y nararapat na pag-usiginHayo na at kami'y iyong ipausig! Samantala ay
ipinarurusa ko sa iyo, palibhasa'y hindi ka naman hambug o komedyante, na ikaw
ay magparetrato sa iba-ibang katayuan, datapuwa't lagi na sa isang lagay na
parang ikaw ay nagninilay-nilay at sumusulat ng isang pangaral, may tangang
panulat at nasa tabi ng isang ilawan. Huwag mong limuting ikaw ay dapat
magsalamin sa mata kahit na hindi malabo ang iyong mga mata. Naiintindihan mo
ba? Ipakikita mo ang iyong retrato sa madla, upang ang lahat ng tao ay magwika,
kahit hindi nila pinaniniwalaan: "Lubhang palaisip siya!nararapat na maging isang
dakilang mananalumpati itong si Salvadorsito Font! Lagi na siyang sumusulat ng
mga pangaral! Halos wala na siyang panhon upang magpakuha ng larawan! Ang
bagay na iyan ay magapapasakit sa iyo, sapagka't kahit na ikaw ay may panatang
magpayaman, magpalalo, at magmahalay, ay hindi mo pinapansin ang mga yaon
Huwag mong limuting magpakuha ng larawan sa katayuang nagninilay-nilay at
parang komedyante, hane! Patnubayan ka nawa ng Diyos!
--Sundin ang loob ninyo! --ang naihibik ni Salvadorsito na lubos ang
pagsang-ayon, at ang buong bahay niya'y napuno ng paghihimutok.
Totoong napakababa ng loob ni Salvadorsito, na kanyang ikinahahapis ang
kaisipang siya'y humarap sa tao kahit na sa pamamagitan lamang ng larawan. Dahil
din sa kanyang kababaang loob, kung kinakailangang siya'y mangaral, ang tinig
niya'y pinalalaki't pinalalalim upang matakot ang mga nakikinig at mangag-alisan.
--Salvadorsito, Salvadorsito!--ang sigaw na muli buhat sa telepono.

--Mag-utos po ang inyong pagkaama!--ang tugon ng mabait na prokurador.

Ngayon ay dumapa siya upang lalong mapitagang mapakinggan ang kanyang
probinsiyal.
--Isamo mo sa Ministro na huwag gawing Obispo si Pray Rodriguez. Sabihin
mo sa kanya na si Pray Rodriguez ay abalang-abala sa paghahanap at pagbuo ng
mga salitang hango sa salitang "Kalamba", gaya ng mgaKalambano, Kalambaino,
Kalaino, Kalainos, Kung makikita mo lamang kung gaano ang tinitiis niyang hirap
upang maisagawa ang bagay na ito! Para bagang ikinalulugod niyang tutoong
pagpawisan. Wala siyang panahon upang mag-obispo, bagama't siya'y magiging
magaling na obispo, sapagka't pinarusahan siya ng ating Amang si San Agustin na
maging hangal sa buo niyang buhay. Alang-alang sa Diyos, ay huwag nawa siyang
gawing obispo!
--Hindi po ang Ministro ang nagtatangkang pag-obispuhin siya. Ang
nagtatangka po niyaon ay ang mga paring dominiko na nagnanais iwasan ang
tungkulin, sa udyok ng kanilang diwang mapagpalalo!--ani Salvadorsito.
--Kung gayon, ay sabihi mo sa Ministro, na kung sa pag-o-obispo ay wala
nang tatalo pa sa mga prayleng dominiko. Dito'y may nakikilala akong isang
prayleng dominiko na lubhang kaibigan ng mga indiyo aat lubha ring kaaway ng
ating banal na pananampalataya. Ayaw siyang makilahaok ang mga insik sa mga
seremonya, gayong alam niya na pag-alis na pag-alis ng insik sa bansa, ay
tinatalikdan ang pagkakristiyano, palibhasa'y ang insik ay nagkikristiyano lamang
sa udyok ng sariling kapakanan. Ang mga kristiyano, habang sila'y lalong
sumasama ay lalong mabuti. Ito'y nababatid ng mga prayleng dominiko, at kahit na
pagkalooban at handugan sila ng salapi ng mga insik ay hindi nila tinatanggap. Ba!
Hindi po!
Sinisikap ng mga prayleng dominiko na ang mga indiyo ay huwag makipagalitan sa mga mestiso, ni ang mga mestiso sa mga insik, at ito'y nalalabag sa
maliwanag na kautusan ni Hesukristo na paghati-hatiin upang makapaghari. Dahil
sa pagsaway nilang ito'y nararapat na sila ang gawing mga obispo. Dapat itanim sa
kanilang ulo ang isang mitra bilang tanda ng kapalaluan, at sa ganito'y matutulad
sila sa mga paring asiryo at persa na nangakasuot ng mitra. Sinusunod ng mga
dominiko si Maquiavelo, ang sinumpang si Maquiavelo, na nagsabing karapatang
ipangaral ang kapayapaan at pagkakasundo. Tungod sa pagkakasundo, alam mo ba,
Salvadorsito, na dumalaw si Pari Baldomero at isa pang pari sa Colegio de la
Concordia; baka sakaling nalimutan mo na,ang kolehiyong ito'y para sa mga
dalagang bagong-sibol na nangag-aaral; gaya ng mahihintay, hindi sila pumasok sa
silid-tulugan samantalang nangagbibihis o nangagpapalit ng damit ang mga dalaga,
at sa ilang pagkakataong sila'y nakipag-usap sa mga kolehiyala, ang pakikipag-usap
na ito'y hindi sa dilim, hindi sa likod ng mga pinto, at hindi malayo sa mga
kasamahan Ay! kay tindi ng pasakit na kanilang tiniisAy! sila'y totoong malinis,
totoong banal, at totoong matimpi ang kanilang kalooban! At ang mga madre

naman ay totoong mahihigpit, hindi marunong magpa-irog, at hindi marunong

magpaumanhin! Sa buong panahong naroon sila sa kolehiyo ay walang napagusapan kundi ang Diyos! At namalagi silang halos maiyak aat nangagdadalamhati!
--Aray! Naku! Aray!
--Ano ang nangyayari sa iyo, Salvadorsito?
--Aalisin na po ninnnyo ako sa pagka-prokurador, sapagka't dito'y tinitiis ko
rin ang katulad ng tiniis nina Baldomeroo aat ng kasama niyang pari sa kolehiyo ng
mga dalaga. Kay daming magagandang dalagita at dalaga!.Aray! Gusto ko na
pong bumalik sa Maynila! Ang Madrid ay napariwara.
--Datapuwa't dito'y ibibilanggo ka ng mga indiyo at ikaw ay ipatatapon kahit
na walang sumbong laban sa iyo! Sukat ang sumulat ng isang lihim na pabatid
ay. . .
--Kahit na po!
--Ikaw ay mamamatay ng gutom at hindi ka makasasakay sa karwahe!
--Dito'y naglalakad lamang po ako.
--Dapat mong malaman na dito ay dapat kang magpugay sa mga indiyo at
kung hindi ay uusigin ka at ipatatapon.
--Kahit na po! Minamabuti ko po ang lahat nang iyan kaysa mabuhay sa
piling ng mg babaingmagaganda.
--Dapat mong malaman na kung hindi ka magbibigay-loob sa lahat ng bagay
na manais ng gubernadorsilyo ay pararatangan kang kalaban ng mga kastila.
--Tututol po ako, sasabihin kong minamahal ko ang Espanya.
--Hindi ka paniniwalaan, sapagka't ang mga indiyo ay totoong mayayaman
at nangaglalathala ng mga aklat na pinagtitibay ng mga maykapangyarihan laban
sa mga prayle
--Kung gayon po, ay ano ang nararapat kong gawin? Ano po ang gagawin
ko?
--Mamalagi ka riyan sa pagka-prokurador!
--Ay!
--Magregalo ka ng mga bagay-bagay na galing sa Tsina at sa Hapon sa mga
Minsitro, sa mga Kinatawan, at sa mga Senador upang matamo ang ating mga
layon.

--Opo! Iyan nga! Tulad ng ginagawa ng mga insik! At ano pa po?

--Hintayin mong gawin kang obispo!
--Ay! Ay!
--At pagkatapos ay Kardenal!
--Naku! Naku! Naku po!
--Datapuwa't, sa ngayon ay dapat mong sikaping magkaloob ang
pamahalaan ng mga kurus, mga asyenda, at mga tungkulin sa ating mga kaaway
--At kung sandatahan po nila ang isang paghihimagsik, at sabihin nilang
tayo ang may gawa niyaon, sapagka't tayo'y mga bistirupelo?
Katahimikan.
--Ano po ang sasabihin ko tungkol sa bistirupelismo? --ang tanong ni
Salvadorsito.
Katahimikan.
--Pari Probinsiyal? Ano po ang tungkol sa bistirupelismo?
--A! ang bistirupelismo? --ang sa wakas ay isinagot ng isang tinig.-- Sabihin
mo sa Mnistro na wala ng bagay na iyan, datapuwa't kung nais niyang magkaroon,
ay sukat nang siya'y maniwalang mayroon at magkakaroon. Sabihin mo sa kanya na
marami na tayong tiniis, tinitiis, at titiisin pa. Datapuwa't palibhasa sa buhay na
ito'y walang anumang bagay na walang katapusan ay magkakaroon din ng hangga
balang araw, ang ating mga pagtitiis, at ang araw na iya'y dili iba kundi kung tayo'y
mapapaniwala na ang pamahalaan ay kumakatig sa ating mga kaaway.