Here Kitty. Bad Kitty.

By
Jarred Hodgdon

jarrhod@gmail.com

EXT. CLYDES HOME - DAY

CLYDE (30), unkempt, exits his shabby apartment building.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs he raises his arms and
stretches.
CLYDE
Ahhhhhhh!
Clyde struts towards his car, one in a line of many,
WHISTLING as he goes.
Several yards away a CAT (3) runs by and dives under a car.
Clyde halts and does a double take after catching it in his
peripheral vision.
CLYDE
Kitty?
Clyde walks towards Cats hiding spot.
CLYDE
Here Kitty. Here Kitty.
Clyde gets on his knees, peering under the car. Cat is
there, out of reach.
CAT
Mrowr.
CLYDE
Hi Kitty. Youre a handsome kinda
kitty.
Clyde tries desperately to reach Cat.
CAT
Mrowr, mrowr, HISS!
Clyde backs away from the car and rises.
Cat crawls out from under the car and stands up.
He towers over Clyde, getting

up in his face.

CAT
Whats your problem pal?!
CLYDE
I just wanted to pet you.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

CAT
Oh pet me? Like this ya mean?
Cat ruffles Clydes hair.
CAT (CONTD)
You wanna run your fingers through
my hair you pervert? Im feral
stupid!
CLYDE
No! I-CAT
--You nasty, nasty dog. Think you
can just go around touching
strangers.
CLYDE
Im sorry! Youre just a cute lil
cat!
Cat raises his paw in front of Clydes face, a single claw
slowly rises out of it.
CAT
You think Im cute?
Cat runs his claw over Clydes jugular.
CAT (CONTD)
Is this cute?...Nasty man.
CLYDE
No its not cute! Im sorry! So, so
sorry!
CAT
Purrrrr...Thats okay pal, youre
gonna get your wish. Were gonna
get close. Real close.
EXT/INT. CLYDES CAR - DAY
Clydes at the wheel, Cat in the passenger seat of the
compact car. They stare straight ahead.
CAT
Keep right up ahead.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

CLYDE
Kay...You dont want to do this.
Its kidnapping.
CAT
Catnapping.
CLYDE
Huh?
CAT
Catnapping, cause Im a cat.
CLYDE
Oh! No, the kid bit refers to the
victim of the action, not the
perpetrator.
CAT
Youre hardly a kid.
CLYDE
Right...You dont want to do this,
its abduction.
CAT
Psh...Just keep driving, Im going
to take a CATNAP.
Cat puts his head against the window and closes his eyes.
Clyde turns his head slowly towards Cat.
CLYDES POV Cats paw with its extended claw rests on his lap.
EXT/INT. CLYDES CAR - LATER
Clydes car continues down the road. Cat is still asleep.
The car approaches train tracks.
CLYDE
Kitty. Wake up. Kitty. Kitty!
Cat wakes up.
CAT
What man! What is it!?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

CLYDE
The tracks. Were coming up to the
tracks.
CAT
Good, were close. Keep going,
drive over them.
CLYDE
Gulp.
The car bounces and shakes as it drives over the train
tracks.
CLYDE (CONTD)
(to himself)
The other side of the tracks.
CAT
Good. Turn right at the light.
The car continues down a desolate road.
CAT
Up ahead, turn in there.
The car pulls into REDWOOD MOBILE ESTATES trailer park.
The car drives slowly past rows of trailer homes.
CAT
Pull up in front over there.
The car pulls to a stop.
Cat reaches over and pulls the key from the ignition.
CAT
Ill be right back. Dont try
anything stupid.
Cat exits.
INTERCUT/ EXT. TRAILER HOME - CONTINUOUS
Cat slinks along the side of the trailer home.
Clyde looks around nervously and then peers down.
CLYDES POV We see the button that opens the trunk.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

Cat halts at a window. He peers in and sees TOUGH GUY (55)

sitting on the couch watching television.
Cat ducks down and continues.
Clyde slowly slides out of the car. He makes his way to the
trunk and lifts it up.
We see Clyde looking down into the trunk, he smiles.
Cat rounds the corner to the back of the trailer home. He
hurries towards the object he came for, a Nepeta cataria
plant; i.e. catnip.
Clydes trunk is open. His car is empty and he is nowhere to
be seen.
Cat sneaks alongside the trailer home, plant in hand.
He accidentally kicks over an empty glass bottle, it
SHATTERS.
TOUGH GUY (O.S.)
Hey!
Cat is a scaredy.
Tough Guy peers through the blinds, looking right at Cat.
Cat begins to run towards the front of the mobile home.
CATS POV Clyde pops out from around the corner with a potato sack in
hand. He throws it right over Cat.
CUT TO BLACK
EXT. TRAILER HOME - MOMENTS LATER
Clyde is extending his arm and carrying the sack, it shakes
wildly.
Tough Guy flies out from the front door of the mobile home.
He halts on the porch upon seeing Clyde.
Clyde throws the sack into his trunk then slams it shut.
Clyde picks his keys up off the ground.
Clyde slowly glances towards Tough Guy as Tough Guy descends
the stairs.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

Clyde gets into his car and starts the engine.

Tough Guy looks down upon his plant, there on the cement.
Clyde looks at Tough Guy in his side mirror.
Tough guy looks up at Clydes car driving away.
TOUGH GUY
Darn druggy teenagers.
INT. POTATO SACK - DAY
It is pitch black.
CAT
Mrowr. Mrowr. Mrowr.
We hear WIND.
Cat is fighting inside the bag, THRASHING about.
CAT (CONTD)
Mrowr. Mrowr. Mrowr.
The sack opens to blinding light.
EXT. CLIFFSIDE - CONTINUOUS
Cat is falling, tumbling through the air.
EXT. TOP OF THE CLIFF - CONTINUOUS
Clyde stands triumphantly, looking down, sack in hand.
CLYDE
Whoops. Looks like I let the cat
out of the bag.
END