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Know the needs of your audience and match your contents to their needs.

Know your
material thoroughly. Put what you have to say in a logical sequence. Ensure your speech
will be captivating to your audience as well as worth their time and attention. Practice
and rehearse your speech at home or where you can be at ease and comfortable, in front
of a mirror, your family, friends or colleagues. Use a tape-recorder and listen to yourself.
Videotape your presentation and analyze it. Know what your strong and weak points are.
Emphasize your strong points during your presentation.
When you are presenting in front of an audience, you are performing as an actor is on
stage. How you are being perceived is very important. Dress appropriately for the
The Daily Quote

Positive Thinking Your Key to Success


by Remez Sasson

Blog
Forums
Positive thinking brings inner peace, success, improved relationships, better Free Ezine
health, happiness and satisfaction. It also helps the daily affairs of life move more What is Rss
Ezine Archive
smoothly, and makes life look bright and promising.
Articles Directory

Positive thinking is contagious. People around you pick your mental moods and
are affected accordingly. Think about happiness, good health and success, and you
will cause people to like you and desire to help you, because they enjoy the
vibrations that a positive mind emits.

Tell-A-Friend

In order to make positive thinking yield results, you need to develop a positive
attitude toward life, expect a successful outcome of whatever you do, but also take
any necessary actions to ensure your success.
Effective positive thinking that brings results is much more than just repeating
a few positive words, or telling yourself that everything is going to be all right. It
has to be your predominant mental attitude. It is not enough to think positively for
a few moments, and then letting fears and lack of belief enter your mind. Some
effort
and
inner
work
are
necessary.
Are
you
willing
to
make
a
real
inner
change?
Are
you
willing
to
change
the
way
you
think?
Are you willing to develop a mental power that can positively affect you, your
environment and the people around you?

Learn to use affirmations


Learn how positive
words can transform
your life and bring you
happiness and success.

Visualize and
Here are a few actions and tips to help you develop the power of positive
Achieve
thinking:

Always use only positive words while thinking and while talking. Use words such
as, 'I can', 'I am able', 'it is possible', 'it can be done', etc.
Allow into your awareness only feelings of happiness, strength and success.
Try to disregard and ignore negative thoughts. Refuse to think such thoughts, and
substitute
them
with
constructive
happy
thoughts.
In your conversation use words that evoke feelings and mental images of strength,
happiness
and
success.

Discover how you can


improve your life
through visualization
and imagination. A
practical and detailed
guide on creative
visualization and how to
use the powers of your
mind to achieve
success.
Find Out More
Sculptor 3

Before starting with any plan or action, visualize clearly in your mind its successful Affirmation software for
outcome. If you visualize with concentration and faith, you will be amazed at the improved mental and
results.
physical health,
Read

at

least

one

page

of

inspiring

book

every

personal growth,

day. healing and self-

improvement. A method
that is a set of self-help

Watch
Minimize

movies
the

Associate

time

that
you

yourself

listen
with

make
to

the

people

you
news
who

and

feel
read
think

happy. tools, using

computerization to

the

papers. amplify the power of


affirmations, to

positively. facilitate the

manifestation of your
desires.

Always sit and walk with your back straight. This will strengthen your confidence
Find Out More
and
inner
strength.
Walk, swim or engage in some other physical activity. This helps to develop a more
positive attitude.
Think positive and expect only favorable results and situations, even if your current
circumstances are not as you wish them to be. In time, your mental attitude will
affect your life and circumstances and change them accordingly.
Follow the tips and suggestions in this article, and prove to yourself the reality the
power of positive thinking. More advanced and powerful techniques, instructions
and exercises can be found in the following books:
Visualize
Affirmations

and
Words

of

Achieve
Power

When you expect success and say "I can", you fill yourself with confidence
and
joy.
Fill your mind with light, hope and feelings of strength, and soon your life
will
reflect
these
qualities.

Home | About Us | Site Map | Our Books | Privacy Policy | Contact


Copyright 2001-2010 Remez Sasson, SuccessConsciousness.com. All rights reserved.

occasion. Be solemn if your topic is serious. Present the desired image to your
audience. Look pleasant, enthusiastic, confident, proud, but not arrogant. Remain calm.
Appear relaxed, even if you feel nervous. Speak slowly, enunciate clearly, and show
appropriate emotion and feeling relating to your topic. Establish rapport with your
audience. Speak to the person farthest away from you to ensure your voice is loud enough
to project to the back of the room. Vary the tone of your voice and dramatize if necessary.
If a microphone is available, adjust and adapt your voice accordingly.
Body language is important. Standing, walking or moving about with appropriate
hand gesture or facial expression is preferred to sitting down or standing still with head
down and reading from a prepared speech. Use audio-visual aids or props for
enhancement if appropriate and necessary. Master the use of presentation software such
as PowerPoint well before your presentation. Do not over-dazzle your audience with
excessive use of animation, sound clips, or gaudy colors which are inappropriate for your

topic. Do not torture your audience by putting a lengthy document in tiny print on an
overhead and reading it out to them.
Speak with conviction as if you really believe in what you are saying. Persuade your
audience effectively. The material you present orally should have the same ingredients as
that which are required for a written research paper, i.e. a logical progression from
INTRODUCTION (Thesis statement) to BODY (strong supporting arguments, accurate
and up-to-date information) to CONCLUSION (re-state thesis, summary, and logical
conclusion).
Do not read from notes for any extended length of time although it is quite acceptable to
glance at your notes infrequently. Speak loudly and clearly. Sound confident. Do not
mumble. If you made an error, correct it, and continue. No need to make excuses or
apologize profusely.
Maintain sincere eye contact with your audience. Use the 3-second method, e.g. look
straight into the eyes of a person in the audience for 3 seconds at a time. Have direct eye
contact with a number of people in the audience, and every now and then glance at the
whole audience while speaking. Use your eye contact to make everyone in your audience
feel involved.
Speak to your audience, listen to their questions, respond to their reactions, adjust and
adapt. If what you have prepared is obviously not getting across to your audience, change
your strategy mid-stream if you are well prepared to do so. Remember that
communication is the key to a successful presentation. If you are short of time, know
what can be safely left out. If you have extra time, know what could be effectively added.
Always be prepared for the unexpected.
Pause. Allow yourself and your audience a little time to reflect and think. Don't race
through your presentation and leave your audience, as well as yourself, feeling out of
breath.
Add humor whenever appropriate and possible. Keep audience interested throughout
your entire presentation. Remember that an interesting speech makes time fly, but a
boring speech is always too long to endure even if the presentation time is the same.
When using audio-visual aids to enhance your presentation, be sure all necessary
equipment is set up and in good working order prior to the presentation. If possible, have
an emergency backup system readily available. Check out the location ahead of time to
ensure seating arrangements for audience, whiteboard, blackboard, lighting, location of
projection screen, sound system, etc. are suitable for your presentation.
Have handouts ready and give them out at the appropriate time. Tell audience ahead of
time that you will be giving out an outline of your presentation so that they will not waste
time taking unnecessary notes during your presentation.

Know when to STOP talking. Use a timer or the microwave oven clock to time your
presentation when preparing it at home. Just as you don't use unnecessary words in your
written paper, you don't bore your audience with repetitious or unnecessary words in your
oral presentation. To end your presentation, summarize your main points in the same way
as you normally do in the CONCLUSION of a written paper. Remember, however, that
there is a difference between spoken words appropriate for the ear and formally written
words intended for reading. Terminate your presentation with an interesting remark or an
appropriate punch line. Leave your listeners with a positive impression and a sense of
completion. Do not belabor your closing remarks. Thank your audience and sit down.

Have the written portion of your assignment or report ready for your
instructor if Review Of 11 Hidden Causes Of Public Speaking Stress
1. Thinking that public speaking is inherently stressful (it's not).
2. Thinking you need to be brilliant or perfect to succeed (you don't).
3. Trying to impart too much information or cover too many points in a short
presentation.
4. Having the wrong purpose in mind (to get rather than to give/contribute).
5. Trying to please everyone (this is unrealistic).
6. Trying to emulate other speakers (very difficult) rather than simply being yourself
(very easy).
7. Failing to be personally revealing and humble.
8. Being fearful of potential negative outcomes (they almost never occur and even
when they do, you can use them to your advantage).
9. Trying to control the wrong things (e.g., the behavior of your audience).
10. Spending too much time overpreparing (instead of developing confidence and
trust in your natural ability to succeed).
11. Thinking your audience will be as critical of your performance as you might be
required.
Know the room.
Be familiar with the place in which you will speak.
Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any
visual aids.
Know the audience.
Greet some of the audience as they arrive.
It's easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers.
Know your material.
Practice your speech and revise it if necessary.
If you're not familiar with your material or are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness
will increase.

Relax.
Ease tension by doing exercises.
Work from your personal brand (exercise)
Visualize yourself giving your speech.
Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear, and assured.
When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful.
Realize that people want you to succeed.
They don't want you to fail.
Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative, and entertaining.
Don't apologize.
If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have with
your speech, you may be calling the audience's attention to something they hadn't
noticed. Keep silent.
Concentrate on the message -- not the medium.
Focus your attention away from your own anxieties, and outwardly toward your message
and your audience.
Your nervousness will dissipate.
Turn nervousness into positive energy.
Harness your nervous energy and transform it into vitality and enthusiasm.
Gain experience.
Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking.
A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need Know

The Power of Positive Thinking


by Remez Sasson
Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words
and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental
attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates
happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and
action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

The Daily Quote


Blog
Forums
Free Ezine
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Ezine Archive
Articles Directory
Tell-A-Friend

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as
just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the
people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. Yet, it Visualize and Achieve
seems that many are becoming attracted to this subject, as evidenced by the by Remez Sasson
many books, lectures and courses about it. This is a subject that is gaining
popularity.
It is quite common to hear people say: "Think positive!", to someone who feels
down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not
know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective. How
many people do you know, who stop to think what the power of positive thinking
means?

The
following
story
illustrates
how
this
power
works:
Allan applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered
himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to
get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the
other applicants were better and more qualified than him. Allan manifested this
attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews.
His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the
whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the
day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt
he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was Learn how to improve
your life, attract
already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles.

success, and achieve


your dreams and goals
During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his with the help of positive
shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All thinking and creative
this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His visualization.

overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear
Visualize and Achieve
and did not get the job.
Jim applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He
was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the Peace of Mind in
interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the Daily Life
A practical guide to
job.
In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear,
and went to sleep a little earlier. On day of the interview he woke up earlier than
usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and then to arrive to the interview
before the scheduled time.

inner peace
by Remez Sasson

He got the job because he made a good impression. He had also of course, the
proper qualifications for the job, but so had Allan.
What do we learn from these two stories? Is there any magic employed here? No,
it is all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and
constructive images, and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen.
This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being
broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a A book full of tips,
beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language practical advice, special
exercises and
shows the way you feel inside.

meditations to acquire
the much coveted inner
Positive
and
negative
thinking
are
both
contagious. treasure called inner
All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens peace.

instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings


transference, and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected
by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around
positive people and avoid negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we
are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

The book focuses on


practical steps that are
easy to follow, and
which you can
implement right away.
Whether you're a
Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and complete beginner or
actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which an advanced
cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and practitioner you'll find
practical and useful
disappointment.
information on every
page.
Learn how to free your
mind from restless
thinking and distracting
thoughts, get rid of
In order to turn the mind toward the positive, inner work and training are worries and anxieties,
and enjoy inner peace

Practical Instructions

and happiness.

required. Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight.

Details & free chapter

Read about this subject, think about its benefits and persuade yourself to try it.
The power of thoughts is a mighty power that is always shaping our life. This
The Inner Powers Ezine
shaping is usually done subconsciously, but it is possible to make the process a
conscious one. Even if the idea seems strange give it a try, as you have nothing to
lose, but only to gain. Ignore what others might say or think about you, if they Email:
discover that you are changing the way you think.
Always visualize only favorable and beneficial situations. Use positive words in your
inner dialogues or when talking with others. Smile a little more, as this helps to
think positively. Disregard any feelings of laziness or a desire to quit. If you
persevere, you will transform the way your mind thinks.
Once a negative thought enters your mind, you have to be aware of it and
endeavor to replace it with a constructive one. The negative thought will try again
to enter your mind, and then you have to replace it again with a positive one. It is
as if there are two pictures in front of you, and you choose to look at one of them
and disregard the other. Persistence will eventually teach your mind to think
positively and ignore negative thoughts.

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In case you feel any inner resistance when replacing negative thoughts with
positive ones, do not give up, but keep looking only at the beneficial, good and
happy thoughts in your mind.
It does not matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. Think
positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances will
change accordingly. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but
eventually they do.
Another method to employ is the repetition of affirmations. It is a method which
resembles creative visualization, and which can be used in conjunction with it. It is
the subject of another article on this website.
The other articles at this website, about the power of concentration, will power,
self-discipline and peace of mind also contribute to the development of a positive
mind, and are recommended for reading and practicing.

Discuss this topic in our forums.

Home | About Us | Site Map | Our Books | Privacy Policy | Contact


Copyright 2001-2010 Remez Sasson, SuccessConsciousness.com. All rights reserved.

Why do you need self motivation?

You cannot always rely on others to encourage you, if you have positive
friends who are always there when you need them then you are indeed
lucky and very much in the minority. If you are lonely or have few friends
when you face any difficulties in your life you must rely on your own
motivation to get you through. Lack of self motivation at that time could
lead to depression.
You need self motivation to achieve because if you don't encourage
yourself to accept opportunity and challenge who will?
To plan and find direction in your life
To take up a new activity, hobby or challenge
To be enthusiastic about life and living
To have the courage to see things through despite setbacks or negative
comments from others

This is not an exhaustive list because self motivation is so important in every


aspect of your life. The very fact that you are here searching for answers and
trying to improve yourself shows that you are motivated.
My 8 Steps
I enjoyed Ians article but thought it could use some definition when it comes to trying to
build a continuous drive of motivation. Here is a new list that is a little more generic:
1. Start simple. Keep motivators around your work area things that give you that
initial spark to get going.
2. Keep good company. Make more regular encounters with positive and motivated
people. This could be as simple as IM chats with peers or a quick discussion with a friend
who likes sharing ideas.
3. Keep learning. Read and try to take in everything you can. The more you learn,
the more confident you become in starting projects.
4. Stay Positive. See the good in bad. When encountering obstacles, you want to be
in the habit of finding what works to get over them.
5. Stop thinking. Just do. If you find motivation for a particular project lacking, try
getting started on something else. Something trivial even, then youll develop the
momentum to begin the more important stuff.
6. Know yourself. Keep notes on when your motivation sucks and when you feel like
a superstar. There will be a pattern that, once you are aware of, you can work around and
develop.
7. Track your progress. Keep a tally or a progress bar for ongoing projects. When
you see something growing you will always want to nurture it.
8. Help others. Share your ideas and help friends get motivated. Seeing others do
well will motivate you to do the same. Write about your success and get feedback from
readers.

What I would hope happens here is you will gradually develop certain skills that become
motivational habits.
Once you get to the stage where you are regularly helping others keep motivated be it
with a blog or talking with peers youll find the cycle continuing where each facet of
staying motivated is refined and developed.

Welcome! If you find this page useful, make sure to get free content updates via e-mail or RSS feed.

5 Ways to Motivate Yourself Throughout the Day


By Donald Latumahina (follow me on Twitter) , October 7, 2006

Motivation is a key to success. If you are a motivated person, then you will very likely be
successful in everything you do. In fact, research shows that motivation is the key behind
the expert minds. People who are motivated will be very successful in their learning
process. And so will in other areas of life.
The problem is, its not easy to be motivated, let alone be motivated for the whole day.
There are times when challenges and problems strike us and make us feel bad. Or maybe
there is no real problem, but we just feel that our energy level is low throughout the day.
Well, dont let this happens. Be motivated and energized throughout the day ! Here is
how:
1. Rise early
I dont know about you, but for me, rising early is a kind of magic. It makes me
feel more enthusiastic and energized throughout the day. Maybe its because by
rising early I can start the day fresh without having to rush on everything. I would
have more time to be prepared mentally and physically to face the day.
2. Pick quote of the day
Pick your favorite quote in the morning and keep it in mind throughout the day.
Of course, the quote should be something that motivate and inspire you. Then
speak out the quote to yourself throughout the day, especially when you think that
you need extra motivation. This way, it will be easier to get rid of negative
thoughts because you always have something positive to say to yourself.
3. Find the positive side of everything
One main cause for losing motivation is thinking negatively about the events
which are happening to us. Every time you think negatively about something, you
actually lose a part of your energy. Do it for the whole day and you will feel very
exhausted and even intimidated.
So find the positive side of everything. There must be something positive we can
get from everything that happens to us. If your effort end up in failure for
example, then you know that you can learn something from it. And learning is a

positive thing. If you must do something boring, just think of a useful thing you
can get from it. There is always positive side on everything, so focus on it and not
the negative one.
4. Focus on giving
Contributing to others is always motivating. It works for me. I dont know why,
but maybe its because by doing so I become less focused on my own problems. It
doesnt mean that I run from the problems, it just means that the problems seem
less daunting and intimidating. Why ? Because Im not just thinking about myself.
Also, there is something about giving that gives you extra happiness. Brighten
someone elses life today and somehow your life will also be brightened.
5. Decide to be a winner
It is your decision that makes the difference between winning and losing. Nothing
can make you lose if you dont allow it to do so. So decide to be a winner. If you
decide to be a winner then you will be tough and brave when facing all challenges
throughout the day. You will not let problems overcome you. Instead, you will go
out and conquer those problems ! You are the winner, so who can resist you

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How to Build Self Confidence


originated by:Anonymous, Christina Spillane, Wpendy, Krystle C. (see all)
Featured Article
Article Edit Discuss View History

Learn to be comfortable with yourself and who you are.

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no
confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an
overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is
worthy of respect and love.

edit Steps
1. 1
Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say?
What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to
regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or
inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these
written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.
2.
2
Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you
should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the
problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before
you can move on. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes
you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself,
your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as
"bad".
3. 3
Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have
insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something.
That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. 4
Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at
which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take
pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of
mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be

victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find
something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can
develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have
some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you
would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When
you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll
feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence.
Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more
confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
5. 5
Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and
lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's
emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating
what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and
unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. 6
Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and
sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only
do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are
going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about
your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths
and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and
encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. 7
Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or
shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile
works well).
8. 8
Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial
feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage
your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling
every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long
run.
9. 9

I am gorgeous, huh?
Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting
confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely
confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!
10. 10
Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you
can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will
fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay
claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the
best of your ability.
11. 11
Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are
making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder
to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a
positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence.

edit Video

edit Tips

Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier
and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your selfconfidence.
When you are feeling terribly insecure, write down your positive traits
and read them back. This feedback would give you surprising results.
Do not be afraid to push yourself beyond your physical or mental limits. Such a
pressure would help you see how easily things can be achieved and thereby helps
you hone skills. Step out of your comfort zone.
Condition yourself to talk positively about yourself. Every time your mind
wanders and say you are not apt at it, pause for a minute, undo those negative
vibes and say you can do. At least you should make an attempt to accomplish that
daunting task. With that, you will learn more about yourself.
Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from
accomplishing your goals.

You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence by using the Best Me
Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal,
thereby reducing the stress.

edit Warnings

Do not get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points. They could turn
out to be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to
improve. There is no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
Do not mistake being loud for confidence. Some loud people cover their
insecurities. If you are happy with yourself, you are confident.

edit Related wikiHows


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According to Ron Huxley, LMFT: "Nothing describes parenting better than stress!" Stress
is defined as any physical or emotional demand that you feel unable to handle. These
demands encompass all of the little hassles you experience every day, from the moment
you try to get children up for school to the moment you finally get them to bed at night.
Even though these daily hassles are often considered trivial, over time, these hassles add
up, building in pressure, until you are ready to burst out with anger and frustration.
Whether you stay at home or work, single or married, mother or father, parent of one
child or several childrenremaining cool, calm and full of energy can be difficult. Some
of the common parental stressors are:
Aggressive children
Children under performing in school
Handling stepchildren
Hyperactive children
Caring for a physically or mentally challenged child
Nursing chronically ill child
Parenting adolescents or teenagers
Parenting can be a pleasurable experience despite its inherent anxieties, worries,
frustrations and physical stress. Here is how:
Accept the fact that stress can`t be avoided
Seek support from near and dear ones or experts
Plan the day`s work
Communicate more freely with children

Encourage children to forget failure and help them to strive for better performances
Lend an ear to the children
Share quality time with them
Marital Stress
Perhaps half of the adults suffering from severe stress blame the deteriorating
relationships on their spouse. Looking at the growing rate of divorces, court cases for
alimony, physical abuses and single parents, it does seem as if handling a relationship can
be a tricky and often taxing issue. The possible causes of stress can be endless, but some
major factors are:
An unaffectionate spouse
Unforgiving attitude of a spouse
Handling of monetary affairs (budgeting, investments, expenditures)
Lack of proper communication between spouses
Unable to find quality time for each other
Extramarital relationships
Step children
Dealing with in-laws
More often than not, stress arising from marital relationships is manifested in chronic
disorders such as depression, insomnia and hypertension. Since a relationship depends on
the nature of the persons involved, it helps to seek the middle path when the inherent
individual differences surface. It often helps to change one`s attitude, go for counseling or
talk openly with your spouse about problems facing your relationship.
Ravi Bhoothalingam, President, The Oberoi Group, India, and a regular participant of Sri
Sri Ravishankar`s Art of Living workshops, believes it is important to handle stress in
marital relationship at the primary level through proper communication. This can be done
by letting others know the exact issue that is bothering you. He practices this precept
freely with his wife and two children. In his words: " Honest communication is a great
tool in family bonding and a quick problem solver that helps one view a problem from
different perceptives."
Career And Family Life
Balancing family with professional life is tricky and often a frustrating challenge. It is
important to consider the priorities and evaluate the choices, so that one can have time to
work, time to play and time to make sure that life is as fulfilling as it can be. Stress often
results from a conflict between work and family responsibilities.
According to Stephen F. Duncan, Family and Human Development Specialist, your
ability to cope successfully with work-family stress depends on three things:
Your resources (such as income, education, intelligence, determination),
Your coping strategies (or, how you use your resources), and
Your point of view or perception (for example, thinking: It`s normal for me to feel this

way)
The more resources you have and use well, the healthier your attitude, the more
successful you will be at coping with stress.
According to Prof. Duncan there are three major issues to consider for a perfect balancing
act:
What are the major work-family stressors you are experiencing now?
Marriage
Children
Household management
Leisure
What resources and strategies do you think might help?
Personal
Family
Community
What is your specific balancing plan?
What will you do?
When will you do it?
Who will be involved?

Causes of Stress
Explanations > Stress > Causes of stress
General causes | Life causes | Stress at work | So what?

Stress affects us all. If you can spot the symptoms, you can manage them.

General causes
Threat
A perceived threat will lead a person to feel stressed. This can include physical threats,
social threats, financial threat, and so on. In particular it will be worse when the person
feels they have no response that can reduce the threat, as this affects the need for a sense
of control.
Generally speaking, any threat to needs is likely to lead to stress being experienced.

Fear
Threat can lead to fear, which again leads to stress. Fear leads to imagined outcomes,
which are the real source of stress.

Uncertainty
When we are not certain, we are unable to predict, and hence feel we are not in control,
and hence may feel fear or feel threatened by that which is causing the uncertainty.

Cognitive dissonance
When there is a gap between what we do and what we think, then we experience
cognitive dissonance, which is felt as stress. Thus, if I think I am a nice person then do
something that hurts someone else, I will experience dissonance and stress.
Dissonance also occurs when we cannot meet our commitments. We believe we are
honest and committed, but when circumstances prevent us from meeting our promises
we are faced with the possibility of being perceived as dishonest or incapable (ie. a
social threat).

Life causes
There are many causes of stress in life including:

Death: of spouse, family, friend


Health: injury, illness, pregnancy
Crime: Sexual molestation, mugging, burglary, pick-pocketed
Self-abuse: drug abuse, alcoholism, self-harm
Family change: separation, divorce, new baby, marriage
Sexual problems: getting partner, with partner
Argument: with spouse, family, friends, co-workers, boss
Physical changes: lack of sleep, new work hours
New location: vacation, moving house
Money: lack of it, owing it, investing it
Environment change: in school, job, house, town, jail
Responsibility increase: new dependent, new job

Stress at work
The UK's Health and Safety Executive lists six key stress factors:
1.
2.
3.
4.

The demands of the job


The control staff have over how they do their work
The support they receive from colleagues and superiors
Their relationships with colleagues

5. Whether they understand their roles and responsibilities


6. How far the company consults staff over workplace changes.
Other stress indicators at work include:

Sickness absence
High staff turnover
Poor communication between teams
Bullying
Lack of feedback on performance
Value and contribution
Technological change
Lack of clarity of roles and responsibilities
Dissatisfaction with non-monetary benefits
Working long hours
Boring and mundane work
One-off incidents
Uncomfortable workplace
Lack of training

Which Is Your Leading Cause of Stress?


1. Finances
Most studies agree that finances are a leading cause of stress. In an online poll conducted
in 2005 by LifeCare, Inc., 23 percent of respondents named finances as the leading cause
of stress in their lives. Financial stress has led the list in many modern polls.
Some who name finances as the leading cause of stress cite major purchases they have to
make, such as a home or car. Others are stressed by a loss of income, or mounting credit
card debt. For some, financial stress will eventuate in bankruptcy. While college students
stress over paying for an education, Baby Boomers and older senior citizens find that
retirement income can be a major cause of stress.
2. Work
Closely tied to finances as a cause of stress is work. Our jobs or careers seem to cause
constant stress. In the LifeCare poll, 21 percent of those responding listed this as the
leading cause of stress in life.
How is the workplace a cause of stress? We worry about getting and keeping adequate
employment. We worry about new types of work or new responsibilities. We struggle to
climb a career ladder, overwhelmed by the demands. Work conditions may change, or we
may have interpersonal trouble at work. Students, especially teenagers and college age
students, cite school work as a cause of stress. Sometimes, work stress is brought on by
others. Sometimes, we bring it on ourselves.

3. Family
Family, wonderful though each member may be, is also a leading cause of stress.
Arguments erupt with a spouse or other family member. Parents divorce. Children marry.
The ebb and flow of family life is filled with stress. A child moves out - an aging parent
moves in.
Family health is also a leading cause of stress. A sick family member, a serious injury,
pregnancy, miscarriage, or abortion all cause stress. Family changes of other kinds bring
stress, too. Adoption, relocation, and job changes for just one family member can cause
stress for all.
4. Personal Concerns
Personal concerns that are only indirectly created by others are another top cause of
stress. Lack of control tops the list of personal concerns. Every human has a deep-seated
desire for control over his or her own life. When control is weak or missing in a given
area, we experience stress. To many people, a lack of control over their own time is a
leading cause of stress. We want to determine when we do tasks around the home, or at
work. Holding a job, participating in the children's carpool to school, driving family to
soccer practices, shopping, and scout meetings while trying to keep the household
running can create major stress. You would like to control your time, rather than let
others' demands control it, but that is not always possible.
We may be involved in legal proceedings that cause stress. We may be wrestling with a
bad habit. We may be going through changes. Personal change of any kind can be a cause
of stress.
5. Personal Health and Safety
Most people find that personal health is a leading cause of stress. For some, the stress is
linked to obesity, and a desire to lose weight. For others, the stress is a personal bas habit
that affects health and must be changed. For example, smoking, abuse of alcohol or other
drugs. Illness or injury, whether less or more serious, can be a leading cause of stress for
many people. Incontinence can be an ongoing concern. Personal health is more or less
stressful according to the degree of seriousness and our personal outlook on health.
Personal safety is also a leading cause of stress. Women, more than men, tend to stress
about their own and others' safety. Adults tend to stress more than young people, who
may act invincible. Crime is a factor, as is
6. Personal Relationships
Whether it is a friendship, dating, separation, marriage, divorce, or re-marriage, a
relationship can be a leading cause of stress for many. We all want love, and that is
potentially available in relationships, but getting from A to B can be very stressful. Some

resort to online relationships that are easier to handle. Others withdraw and become
recluses. Either way, the demands on time, finances, and emotions can cause ongoing
stress.
7. Death
Probably the most wrenching cause of stress is the death of a loved one or close friend.
Even the death of a pet can be stressful. Children are always a source of stress for
parents, but when a child dies, the stress is overwhelming. The same is true when a
lifetime spouse passes on.
Win or Lose
Causes of stress change as we age. The stressed child who threw tantrums becomes a
young student, stressed by the school bully. The young student becomes a teenager,
stressed by acne, hormones, and dating. The teenager becomes a young adult trying to
handle the stresses of leaving home, adjusting to college life, and managing finances. Life
progresses to first jobs, marriage, children, and so on. Even if you move to a secluded
cabin in the woods, stress will follow you.
Gaining knowledge of the leading causes of stress is important. Using that knowledge to
win over unhealthy stress is vital

Short Term Effects of Stress


When a person encounters a threat, his body gets geared up to handle it by the 'Fight or flight' response. During this response certain
functional adjustments occur in the body. These changes persist till the threat exists. When the threat no longer exists, the body returns to
normal. These immediate, transient effects are the short term effects of stress. This is a physiological response seen in all persons exposed to
stress.The few functional adjustments which are responsible for the short term effects are

Diversion of the blood from less vital to more vital organs.

Increase in the heart rate to supply more blood quickly.

Increase in the blood pressure to supply blood efficiently.

Increase in the respiratory rate to get more oxygen from the atmosphere.

Breakdown of glycogen stores in liver and muscle to get more glucose.

Formation of more glucose from non carbohydrate substances.

These functional adjustments responsible for the stress effects on the body, manifest themselves with an array of signs and symptoms which
include

Palpitation

Chest pain

frozen shoulder

Cold clammy skin with gooseflesh

Flushing and feeling of warmth

Breathlessness

Dry mouth with difficulty in speaking and swallowing

Abdominal discomfort

Aggravation of Peptic Ulcer

Loose stools

Increased blood glucose levels.

Headache, back ache and neck pain

Depletion of energy stores

Flare up of diseases like eczema, psoriasis, arthritis

Difficulty in concentrating

Memory disturbances

Sleeplessness

Decreased sexual drive

Loss of appetite

Anxiety

Depression

Outbursts of anger

We can take the example of a guy appearing for a competitive exam for a job. When he has to study a lot, if he is not able to cover all the
topics or if he finds the topics very tough, then preparation for the exams acts as a trigger for stress. The affected person undergoes either
some or all of the above mentioned symptoms with their severity based on his susceptibility.
If he is able to complete all the topics and if he is able to understand what he studies, then the trigger is gone and he is relieved of the
physical effects stress and his body returns to normal state.Another example is the stress caused by over-exercise. It is better to get some
guidance before you do any exercise. For example, you can go through sites like http://howtogetasixpack.com to get info on six-pack
exercises.

Long Term Effects of stress


When the stress factor is persistent or repetitive, the body keeps secreting the stress hormones and their blood levels remain continuously at
a higher level and hence the associated functional adjustments. The body now experiences stress with extra burden due to the side effects of
the persistently high stress hormones. Some irreversible physiological damages of the brain and related stress physical symptoms like organ
damage are caused by these substances. The manifestations could be

Chronic head ache

Mood swings

Anxiety disorder

Substance abuse

Memory disturbances

Heart attack due increased blood pressure, sugar and cholesterol

Stroke due to similar reasons

Weight loss

Exacerbation of allergies including asthma

Irritable Bowel disease

Ischemic Bowel disease like Crohn's disease

Decreased sexual drive

Sleeplessness

Even when the stress factor is absent some of these physical and physiological effects of stress persist unless steps are taken
to treat them.
Let us take the same example. If the person fails in the exam, he loses the opportunity of getting a job and a financial
security. The stress factor persists as he is jobless and has financial insecurity. He gets affected by the above mentioned
symptoms. Even if he learns to live without a job some of the above mentioned conditions like substance abuse may

Top 10 Things To Know About The Effects


of Stress
persist.

From Your Guide, Elizabeth Scott

Updated June 15, 2007

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

See More About:

effects of stress
stress symptoms
stress and health
inner peace
stress basics

While there's a wealth of information available about the effects of stress, it can be stressful trying to wade through it all! Here are 10
important facts about the effects of stress that can go a long way in helping you understand stress and its role in your life. This can help you
quickly and easily learn more about the effects of stress and find some effective stress management techniques to incorporate into your life
right now.
1. The Wrong Attitude Significantly Increases Your Stress Level
We all experience stress, but the pessimists, perfectionists, and those with 'type A' personalities (to name a few) greatly increase the level of
stress they experience in a given event, and even bring more stressful events into their lives with their self sabotage thought and behavior
patterns. If you have some of these tendencies, you can significantly reduce the level of stress you experience with these resources on stress
and self sabotage.
2. Some Types of Stress Can Be Beneficial
A certain type of stress, eustress, is actually necessary and beneficial for a balanced and exciting life. Eustress is the type of stress you
experience when you're riding a roller-coaster (if you enjoy fast rides), are playing a fun game, or are falling in love. Eustress makes us feel
vital and alive. (Chronic stress, however, is another story!) If you're interested in learning more about the different types of stress and how
they affect your health, read this article on stress and health.
3. You Can Stop Your Stress Reaction Right Now
When you experience stress, all manner of physiological changes occur to get you in top physical shape to fight or run. Unfortunately, if you
don't calm yourself down relatively quickly, you could remain in this altered state for too long, and it could take a toll on your health.
Practicing stress relievers like breathing exercises and meditation can calm you down quickly, returning your body to normal. Read more on
how to calm down quickly.
4. Even Small Amounts of Stress Can Affect Your Health
You may be aware that months spent in a stressful life situation can leave you vulnerable to illness, but did you know that relatively short
periods of stress can also compromise your immune system, elevating your risk of illness? Sadly, it's true. Learn more about the ways that
stress, especially job stress, can impact your health.
5. The Wrong Attitude Can Make You Sick
Negative thought patterns and emotional stress can lead to psychosomatic illness, a condition that's caused at least in part by stress, but has
physical symptoms that need to be treated as any other illness does. If you're concerned about your thoughts and emotions taking a physical
toll, read more on psychosomatic illness and staying healthy.
6. You Can Prevent A Significant Amount Of Stress In Your Life From Occurring
Some stress is inevitable, but you can structure your life in ways that buffer you from stress and stressful events. For example, maintaining a
healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and having at least a few close friendships are all important ways to relieve stress and stay healthy.
Find more ways to relieve daily stress in your life, and prevent some of your stress from ever occurring!
7. Stress can age you prematurely in many ways
It may be surprising, but stress can be more of a factor in determining your physical age than the number of candles you blow out each year.
Stress actually speeds up wear and tear on many, many areas of your body and at all levels, inducing many of the changes we refer to when
we talk about 'aging'. Read more about recent research on this here.
8. Not Everyone Experiences Stress In The Same Way
Certain inborn personality traits and learned thought patterns can cause two people who live through the same event to experience it very
differently, with one person finding it extremely stressful and the other finding it only mildly stressful or not at all. Some of these traits you
can't change, but others you can alter to a large degree. Read more about mental traits contributing to burnout and stress, and find resources
for altering your experience of stress.
9. Some 'Stress Relievers' Actually Cause More Stress
Most of us have a few less-than-healthy ways of dealing with stress. Unfortunately, most of these 'bad habits' that feel so good at the time
can really cause much more stress in the long run. If you smoke, drink in excess, spend too much, or handle stress in a way you know may
not be good for you, find resources for understanding how you're affecting your stress levels right now, and find resources for healthier
coping.
10. By Imagining Your Stress Gone, It Can Be

Certain mental stress relief techniques, such as affirmations, guided imagery and visualizations, involve imagining that your stress is gone.
And they work! Learn more about these and other mental stress relievers, and see which one works best for you.

Take Control

Techniques to Manage Stress


Take Control
Focus on Relationships
Improve Your Diet
Cope With Stress
Stress & Ulcerative Colitis
Stress & Work
Techniques to Manage Stress
Exercise & Ulcerative Colitis
FAQs: Take Control
Ask A Question
You can successfully manage stress by identifying stressful events and learning how to control them. Incorporate tension-relieving techniques into your daily routine with the following strategies.

Educate Yourself
The more you know about ulcerative colitis and how it affects you, the better you can help manage your condition and overcome the stress associated with it.

Empower Yourself
Take action against ulcerative colitis by being your own health advocate. Regular doctor visits and taking your medication as prescribed may help you live better.

Eat Well
A nutritional, balanced diet is important. Visit the American Dietetic Association for more information about nutrition. You may also want to discuss a nutritional plan with a registered dietician to
help you improve your eating habits. Always check with your doctor before beginning any new diet.

Exercise
Getting your heart rate up can actually help you calm down. An energizing activity helps relieve stress by releasing soothing endorphins throughout your body. Endorphins are thought to promote a
feeling of well-being and can even temporarily help to relieve pain. Always check with your doctor before beginning any exercise plan.

Change Your Thinking


Your perspective on everyday events can either add to or reduce stress. In most instances, like being stuck in line or running late for a meeting, your reaction will not change the outcome you will
remain in line until it's your turn; you will get to the meeting when you do. Reacting negatively will only increase stress. Accepting the situation with a positive attitude will reduce it.

Set Your Priorities


Making priorities and managing your time wisely may help you reduce stress throughout the day. Try these techniques to set priorities and help manage your time better:

Ask yourself what's important


Identify what doesn't really matter
If you think you do too much, honestly evaluate where you can cut back on commitments
Write down daily tasks and cross them off the list when completed
Learn to say "no" sometimes
Complete tougher tasks when you have the most energy or when you have help
Plan some fun in every day
Ask for help

Relax
Breathing techniques, stretching, or simply thinking good thoughts can help you cope when times are tense. When you have an increased heart rate or break out in a sweat, take a moment to relax.

Have a Good Laugh


Laughter can sometimes make everything seem less important. It can start a chain reaction, allowing your whole outlook to become more positive. Call your funniest friend and chat about your
pet's most recent antics. Rent a funny movie or visit a humorous website. It may be a clich, but laughter just may be the best medicine.

Join an Ulcerative Colitis Support Group


There are many ulcerative colitis support groups available. Contact the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America to find out about support groups in your area. There are also message boards on
the Internet where you can talk to others. These groups can help you vent your frustrations and assure you that you are not alone.

First, recognize stress:


Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include
exhaustion, loss of/increased appetite, headaches, crying, sleeplessness, and oversleeping.
Escape through alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behavior are often indications.
Feelings of alarm, frustration, or apathy may accompany stress.
If you feel that stress is affecting your studies,
a first option is to seek help through your educational counseling center.
Stress Management is the ability to maintain control when situations, people, and events
make excessive demands. What you can do to manage your stress? What are some
strategies?
Look around

Set realistic goals for yourself

See if there really is something you can change or


control in the situation

Reduce the number of events going on in your life


and you may reduce the circuit overload

Exercise in stress reduction through project management/prioritizing


Remove yourself from the stressful
situation

Don't overwhelm yourself

Give yourself a break if only for a few moments


daily

by fretting about your entire workload. Handle each


task as it comes, or selectively deal with matters in
some priority

Don't sweat the small stuff

Learn how to best relax yourself

Try to prioritize a few truly important things and let


the rest slide

Meditation and breathing exercises have been


proven to be very effective in controlling stress.
Practice clearing your mind of disturbing thoughts.

Selectively change the way you react,

Change the way you see your situation;


seek alternative viewpoints

but not too much at one time. Focus on one


troublesome thing and manage your reactions to
it/him/her

Stress is a reaction to events and problems, and you


can lock yourself in to one way of viewing your
situation. Seek an outside perspective of the
situation, compare it with yours. and perhaps lessen
your reaction to these conditions.

Avoid extreme reactions;

Do something for others

Why hate when a little dislike will do? Why generate


anxiety when you can be nervous? Why rage when
anger will do the job? Why be depressed when you

to help get your mind off your self

can just be sad?

Get enough sleep

Work off stress

Lack of rest just aggravates stress

with physical activity, whether it's jogging, tennis,


gardening

Avoid self-medication or escape

Begin to manage the effects of stress

Alcohol and drugs can mask stress. They don't help


deal with the problems

This is a long range strategy of adapting to your


situation, and the effects of stress in your life. Try to
isolate and work with one "effect" at a time. Don't
overwhelm yourself. for example, if you are not
sleeping well, seek help on this one problem.

Try to "use" stress


If you can't remedy, nor escape from, what is bothering you, flow with it and try to use it in a productive
way

Try to be positive
Give yourself messages as to how well you can cope rather than how horrible everything is going to be.
"Stress can actually help memory, provided it is short-term and not too severe. Stress causes more glucose to
be delivered to the brain, which makes more energy available to neurons. This, in turn, enhances memory
formation and retrieval. On the other hand, if stress is prolonged, it can impede the glucose delivery and
disrupt memory." All Stressed Up, St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch, p. 8B, Monday, November 30, 1998

Most importantly, if stress is putting you in an unmanageable state or interfering with your
schoolwork, social and/or work life, seek professional help at your school counseling
center

Stress in a testing situationManaging stress: a few


simple techniques
Looking for stress reduction and management ideas? Anecdotal evidence suggests that
many of these techniques do work to reduce stress.
The key to success is finding a technique that works best for you, so you may want to try several
different methods.
Exercise
Regular exercise is one of the best ways to manage stress
Relaxation
Listen to your favourite soothing music, read a novel or take a long bath
Practise meditation, quiet reflection time, yoga, aromatherapy or massage
Stress Diary

Become aware of stress-inducing occurrences by writing down events that were stressful
to you. This can help you to adopt effective coping strategies to manage the causes of
stress in your life
Organisation and Prioritisation: Be Realistic!
Prioritise what you need to accomplish during the day and tick off each item as you finish
them. Time management is a key step to keeping tabs on stress levels
Delegate!
Learn to delegate tasks and responsibilities at home and at work, and learn to say No
Stop Smoking, Limit Alcohol Consumption
Smoking might affect the ability of the coronary arteries to respond to stress. A study
found that smokers, on average, had about 14 per cent less blood flow to the heart
compared to non-smokers
Alcohol disturbs regular sleep patterns and disguises the cause of stress without
eliminating them

Read more: Managing Stress: A Few Simple Techniques: iVillage


http://www.ivillage.co.uk/workcareer/survive/stress/articles/0,,272_156770,00.html#ixzz0l
tah0JjH

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 8 hours a day.
4. Live with the 3 Es Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did last month.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in
plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Dont waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Dont remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past.
15. Dont have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy
in the positive present moment16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class
but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. Smile and laugh more.


19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. So, get rid of those ill feelings.
20. Dont take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
21. You dont have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it wont spoil the present.
23. Dont compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Dont compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job wont take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isnt useful, beautiful or jo31. Envy is a waste of time. You
already have all you need or definitely will get what you really, really want.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Enjoy life each moment, try new things.
35. Call your family often.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Dont over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank god for it.
40. Love yourself, because you are unique and wonderful in your own way.
These are the tips Ive heard from wise people over the years and I think they work
yful. A Happy Life
Mind your own business; don't interfere in other people's personal matters unless they request
you... it keeps you free from extra tension.
Don't be too curious; never try to investigate or inquire about a person's schedule, as these
inquiries usually make you and the ones questioned uncomfortable.
Help yourself; always do your work yourself, try not to use help unless you actually need it. It
keeps you busy and secondly it saves you the hassle of another's carelessness.
Help other people; you get a lot of pleasure by helping the needy. Always be ready to lend a
helpful hand. Thanks and warm wishes will make your journey, life, happy and safe.
Recognize small achievements; don't aim too high as small goals are equally important. Always
remember little droplets makeup the ocean. Your small achievements and virtues will also prove
your worth.
Give thanks and say sorry; never hesitate to say thank you and sorry. It shows your kind and
caring nature. It also compels other to respect you and advise you.
Remember God; always remember God, the Almighty. Pray for success and satisfaction in this
life and after death.

Parenting
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search


"Parental care" redirects here. For other uses, see Parental investment.
For other uses, see Parent (disambiguation).
This article may contain original research. Please improve it by verifying the claims
made and adding references. Statements consisting only of original research may be
removed. More details may be available on the talk page. (October 2007)
Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and
intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the
activity of raising a child rather than the biological relationship.[1]
In the case of humans, it is usually done by the biological parents of the child in question,
[2]
although governments and society take a role as well. In many cases, orphaned or
abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood relations. Others may be
adopted, raised by foster care, or be placed in an orphanage.
The goals of human parenting are debated. Usually, parental figures provide for a child's
physical needs, protect them from harm, and impart in them skills and cultural values
until they reach legal adulthood, usually after adolescence. Among non-human species,
parenting is usually less lengthy and complicated, though mammals tend to nurture their
young extensively. The degree of attention parents invest in their offspring is largely
inversely proportional to the number of offspring the average adult in the species
produces.

Contents
[hide]

1 Parental duties
2 Parenting models, tools, philosophies and practices
o 2.1 Models of parenting
2.1.1 Christian parenting
2.1.2 Other models of parenting
o 2.2 Parenting practices
3 Parenting across the child's lifespan
o 3.1 Planning and pre-pregnancy
o 3.2 Pregnancy and prenatal parenting
o 3.3 Newborns and Infants
o 3.4 Toddlers
o 3.5 Child
o 3.6 Adolescents
o 3.7 Adults
4 Assistance
o 4.1 Care
o 4.2 Advice
o 4.3 Financial assistance
5 See also

6 References

[edit] Parental duties


This section does not cite any references or sources.
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be
challenged and removed. (March 2009)

There is general consensus around parents providing the basic necessities, with increasing
interest in children's rights within the home environment.
Need
Physical security the safety of a child's body and life.

Parental task
Provide
physical safety:
shelter, clothes,
nourishment
To protect a
child from
dangers;
physical care

To care for a
child's health
To provide a
child with the
means to
develop
physically
Physical development appropriate conditions for a healthy growth of a
To train the
child
body of a child,
to introduce to
exercise
To develop
habits of health
Provide an
atmosphere of
peace and
justice and
respect to one's
Intellectual security the conditions in which a child's mind can develop dignity
Provide an
environment
without fear,
threat, and
abuse
Intellectual development providing opportunity to a child to learn

Reading,
writing,
calculating etc.
Support
and/or provide
school related
learning
Teach social
skills and
etiquette
Moral and
spiritual
development.
As well as
creating an

ethics and
value systems
with social
norms that
contribute to
the child's
beliefs, culture;
and customs

Emotional security to help protect a child's psyche

Provide a
safe loving
environment
Give a child
a sense of being
loved, being
needed,
welcomed
Emotional
support,
encouragement
Attachment,
caressing,
hugging, touch,
etc.

Emotional development developing the child's ability to love, care,


help, etc.

Show
empathy and
compassion to
younger and
older, weaker
and sicker, etc.
Caring for
others, helping
grandparents,
etc.

Play is considered to be a child's work, and encompasses all three elements of physical,
emotional, and intellectual development.

[edit] Parenting models, tools, philosophies and practices


It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into Parenting styles.

(Discuss)
Main article: Parenting styles
Although race may be a significant contributing factor, social class, wealth, and income
have the strongest impact on what methods of child rearing are used by parents.[3] Lack of
money is found to be the defining factor in the style of child rearing that is chosen, and
minorities are more likely to have less wealth or assets available for use in their children's
upbringing.[4] Societal values and norms of a generation also have an effect, as in the
United States where authoritarian parenting was the most popular until the 1960s when a
backlash made permissive parenting the most popular in the 1970s.

[edit] Models of parenting


Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three main parenting styles in
early child development: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.[5][6][7][8] Maccoby and
Martin expanded the styles to four: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent and neglectful.
[9][10]
These four styles of parenting involve combinations of acceptance and
responsiveness on the one hand and demand and control on the other.[11]
There is no single or definitive model of parenting. What may be right for one family or
one child may not be suitable for another. With authoritative and permissive (indulgent)
parenting on opposite sides of the spectrum, most conventional and modern models of
parenting fall somewhere in between.

Slow parenting Encourages parents to plan and organise less for their children,
instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and explore the world at their own
pace.

Nurturant parent model A family model where children are expected to explore
their surroundings with protection from their parents.

Strict father model An authoritarian approach, places a strong value on


discipline as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world.

Attachment parenting Seeks to create strong emotional bonds, avoiding physical


punishment and accomplishing discipline through interactions recognizing a
child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic understanding of the child.

[edit] Christian parenting


It has been suggested that this section be split into a new article titled Christian
parenting. (Discuss)
In the United States, disparate models explicitly termed "Christian parenting" are popular
among some parents who claim to apply biblical principles to parenting. Information on

Christian parenting is found in publications, Christian parenting websites, and in


seminars devoted to helping parents apply Christian principles to parenting.[citation needed]
While some Christian parenting models are strict and authoritarian,[which?] others are
"grace-based" and share methods advocated in attachment parenting and positive
parenting theories. Particularly influential on opposite sides have been James Dobson and
his book Dare to Discipline,[12] and William Sears who has written several parenting
books including The Complete Book of Christian Parenting & Child Care' and 'The
Discipline Book'.
In a study[13] of Christian parents done by Christian Parenting Today in 2000, 39% of the
families surveyed have family devotions once a week or more, and 69% of parents
consider Sunday school, youth and children's programs extremely important.

[edit] Other models of parenting

Taking Children Seriously Sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and
harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them.

Parenting For Everyone The philosophy of Parenting For Everyone, which


stems from the book by the same name, considers parenting from the ethical point
of view. It analyzes parenting goals, conditions and means of childrearing. It
offers to look at a child's internal world (emotions, intelligence and spirit) and
derive the sources of parenting success from there. The concept of heart implies
the child's sense of being loved and their ability to love others. The concept of
intelligence implies the child's morals. And the concept of spirit implies the child's
desire to do good actions, avoid bad behavior, and avoid encroaching upon
anybody's dignity. The core concept of the philosophy of Parenting For Everyone
is the concept of dignity, the child's sense of worthiness and justice.

One theory breaks down rules into four categories: safety rules, moral rules, rules
of social convention, and regulation of personal areas (personal expression, choice
of friends). This theory proposes that children tend to resist mostly only rules that
they perceive to intrude on personal domains, and that parents should avoid such
rules.[14]

[edit] Parenting practices

Rules of traffic an instructional approach to discipline where parents explain to


their children how to behave, teaching the rules of behavior as they would the
rules of traffic, with little explanation or deeper moral and social implications.

Fine gardening parents believe that children have positive and negative
qualities, the latter of which parents should "weed out" or "prune" into an
appropriate shape.

Rewards and punishments a method of discipline based on logic: for a good


behavior the child receives a reward or praise, and for a bad or unwanted behavior
the child receives a punishment or reprimand. To teach a child by this logic may
be very effective if it is done consistently.

Concerted cultivation fostering children's talents through organized leisure


activities. Parents challenge their children to think critically and to speak properly
and frequently, especially with other adults.

[edit] Parenting across the child's lifespan


[edit] Planning and pre-pregnancy
Main articles: Family planning and Prenatal care
Family planning is the decision whether and when to become parents, including planning,
preparing, and gathering resources. Parents should assess (amongst other matters)
whether they have the required financial resources (the raising of a child costs around
$16,198 yearly in the United States) [15] and should also assess whether their family
situation is stable enough and whether they themselves are responsible and qualified
enough to raise a child. Reproductive health and preconceptional care affect pregnancy,
reproductive success and maternal and child physical and mental health.

[edit] Pregnancy and prenatal parenting


Main article: Pregnancy
During pregnancy the unborn child is affected by many decisions his or her parents make,
particularly choices linked to their lifestyle. The health and diet decisions of the mother
can have either a positive or negative impact on the child during prenatal parenting.
Many people believe that parenting begins with birth, but the mother begins raising and
nurturing a child well before birth. Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month
on, the unborn baby is able to hear sound, be aware of motion, and possibly exhibit shortterm memory. Several studies (e.g. Kissilevsky et al., 2003) show evidence that the
unborn baby can become familiar with his or her parents' voices. Other research indicates
that by the seventh month, external schedule cues influence the unborn baby's sleep
habits. Based on this evidence, parenting actually begins well before birth.
Depending on how many children the mother carries also determines the amount of care
needed during prenatal and post-natal periods.

[edit] Newborns and Infants


Main article: Infant

Newborn parenting, up to one month of age, is where the responsibilities of parenthood


begins. A newborn's basic needs are food, sleep, comfort and cleaning which the parent
provides. An infant's only form of communication is crying, and attentive parents will
begin to recognize different types of crying which represent different needs such as
hunger, discomfort, boredom, or loneliness. Newborns and young infants require feedings
every few hours which is disruptive to adult sleep cycles. They respond enthusiastically
to soft stroking, cuddling and caressing. Gentle rocking back and forth often calms a
crying infant, as do massages and warm baths. Newborns may comfort themselves by
sucking their thumb or a pacifier. The need to suckle is instinctive and allows newborns
to feed. Breastfeeding is the recommended method of feeding by all major infant health
organizations.[16] If breastfeeding is not possible or desired, bottle feeding is a common
alternative. Other alternatives include feeding breastmilk or formula with a cup, spoon,
feeding syringe, or nursing supplementer.
The forming of attachments is considered to be the foundation of the infant/child's
capacity to form and conduct relationships throughout life. Attachment is not the same as
love and/or affection although they often go together. Attachment and attachment
behaviors tend to develop between the age of 6 months and 3 years. A lack of attachment
or a seriously disrupted capacity for attachment could potentially amount to serious
disorders.
Until infants learn to walk, between 10 and 14 months, they are carried in the arms, held
in slings or baby carriers, or transported in baby carriages or strollers. Upon learning to
walk the child is then known as a toddler.

[edit] Toddlers
Main article: Toddler
Toddlers are much more active than infants and are challenged with learning how to do
simple tasks by themselves. At this stage, parents are heavily involved in showing the
child how to do things rather than just doing things for them, and the child will often
mimic the parents. Toddlers need help to build their vocabulary, increase their
communications skills, and manage their emotions. Toddlers will also begin to
understand social etiquette such as being polite and taking turns.
Toddlers are very curious about the world around them and eager to explore it. They seek
greater independence and responsibility and may become frustrated when things do not
go they way they want or expect. Tantrums begin at this stage, which is sometimes
referred to as the 'Terrible Twos'.[17][18] Tantrums are often caused by the child's frustration
over the particular situation, sometimes simply not being able to communicate properly.
Parents of toddlers are expected to help guide and teach the child, establish basic routines
(such as washing hands before meals, brushing teeth before bed), and increase the child's
responsibilities.

[edit] Child

Main articles: Child, Early childhood, Childhood, and Preadolescence


Younger children are becoming more independent and are beginning to build friendships.
They are able to reason and can make their own decisions given hypothetical situations.
Young children demand constant attention, but will learn how to deal with boredom and
be able to play independently. They also enjoy helping and feeling useful and able.
Parents may assist their child by encouraging social interactions and modelling proper
social behaviors. A large part of learning in the early years comes from being involved in
activities and household duties. Parents who observe their children in play or join with
them in child-driven play have the opportunity to glimpse into their childrens world,
learn to communicate more effectively with their children and are given another setting to
offer gentle, nurturing guidance.[19] Parents are also teaching their children health,
hygiene, and eating habits through instruction and by example.
Parents are expected to make decisions about their child's education. Parenting styles in
this area diverge greatly at this stage with some parents becoming heavily involved in
arranging organized activities and early learning programs. Other parents choose to let
the child develop with few organized activities.
Children begin to learn responsibility, and consequences of their actions, with parental
assistance. Some parents provide a small allowance that increases with age to help teach
children the value of money and how to be responsible with it.
Parents who are consistent and fair with their discipline, who openly communicate and
offer explanations to their children, and who do not neglect the needs of their children in
some way often find they have fewer problems with their children as they mature.

[edit] Adolescents
Main article: Adolescence
During adolescence children are beginning to form their identity and are testing and
developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults.
Although adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance and
models for how to behave, parents remain influential in their development. Parents often
feel isolated and alone in parenting adolescents[20], but they should still make efforts to be
aware of their adolescents activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation.
Adolescence can be a time of high risk for children, where newfound freedoms can result
in decisions that drastically open up or close off life opportunities. Parental issues at this
stage of parenting include dealing with "rebellious" teenagers, who didn't know freedom
while they were smaller.

[edit] Adults

Young adults as children become young adults their personalities show the
result of successful or unsuccessful parenting. Especially it is noticeable when

young adults make their independent life decisions about their education, work
and choosing mates for friendship or marriage.

Middle age and old age Parenting doesn't stop when children grow up and age.
Parents always remain to be parents for old children. Their relationship continues
developing if both parties want to keep it or improve. The parenting issues may
include the relationship with grandchildren and stepchildren.

[edit] Assistance
[edit] Care
Further information: Grandparent, Nanny, Au Pair, Childcare, and Babysitting

[edit] Advice
Traditionally, young mothers receive advice from their own parents, and exchange advice
with other young mothers. Pediatricians are a common source for expert developmental
advice. Informal mother's groups and playgroups provide young parents with playmates
for their children while at the same time provide opportunities for asking questions and
sharing advice and information.
Parenting books, magazines, and websites offer a wide range of advice and ideas. Parents
magazine was started by George J. Hecht in 1926 and is the oldest parenting publication
in the United States. Dr. Benjamin Spock's book The Common Sense Book of Baby and
Child Care, became a bestseller in 1946, and by 1998 it had sold more than 50 million
copies. Hundreds of books have been written on the topic, each with the author's own
philosophy on how best to raise a child. Television documentaries such as The Trouble
with Evan and programs such as Bringing Up Baby and Supernanny offer glimpses into
the lives of other families and the effects of their parenting methods.

[edit] Financial assistance


Parents may receive assistance from a variety of individuals and organizations.
Employers may offer specific benefits or programs for parents such as parental leave
when a child a born.

How To Deal With Difficult Children

Thursday, March 4, 2010, 18:43


parenting tips
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The word Children and the word difficult have nearly become synonymous at many
times in todays fast paced world. Difficult children do not need to receive difficult

parental treatment. If anything, these children need to be handled with kid gloves. Yes,
Certainly, the gloves come off at times, when there needs to be a strict disciplinary action
or two enforced but discipline can be gently parted with at most times
Pointers to parents to deal with difficult children
1. Children have hearts of gold and this saying will remain a constant. So often,
when children are being difficult and a parent thinks yelling or hitting a child is
the answer, it is far from the truth. Children respond to warmth. If a child has
broken a rule of the house for the first time, be gentle in your explanation to the
child. If the same rule is broken the second time, first find out if has been
intentional or not. If its been done unintentionally then excuse the child and
explain again. If its broken for the third time, then be stern voiced and tell your
child. If any more times, then exhibit a strong tone in voice ( lean towards the
beginning of strict by putting your foot down and even firmly raising your voice a
bit to prove a point to your child )
2. Children who are difficult are often coping with different thoughts or insecurities
of their own and do not always express them to a parent. This is why when you
your child dis-obeying you or being the opposite of behaved, then you must first
try to find out what is playing on your childs mind.
3. There is a saying Spare the rod and spoil the child. But today, every move is
accounted for. Every move of a parent has to be re-thought several times. What
used to never be on the radar today has made it to topping lists-Child
Psychology. Child psychologists are making their professional galore across the
globe. So parents, think many times before laying a hand to hit a child because as
stated before, children today have a different mind structure and a different
constitution. Yes, a gentle hit where a child does not really get hurt, once in a way,
when things look to get very out of hand, is a possible method of inducing good
discipline, but any more than that, you might lose communication and respect of
your child for that time.
4. Give curfews to your teenage kid. (when he or she goes out in the evening) Let
your child understand that he or she cannot take curfews and deadlines for granted
5. Ground them only when necessary (Time-out)
6. Have a conversation and discussion with your child. Let there even be scope for
positive debate and this will leave an impressionable mark on your child
7. You were a child once too- Different as you may have been, You
still may have been difficult in your own way-

How To Improve Parenting Skills

Saturday, March 6, 2010, 18:45


parenting skills
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How does improve parenting skills. In reality? Is it a myth that parents need a guideline
to follow for smooth parenting or is it true that however different one person is from

another, they all need certain common guidelines to follow to improvise on present day
parenting techniques and skills
It is real. It is not a myth. It is an absolute truth that parents today need constant updates
on their parenting radars. A win-win situation is when parents are flexible and when they
sharpen their parenting skills at regular intervals so that they can cope with the regularly
changing kids.
There are ways and means to improve parenting skills. One advisable way is to take
guidance from websites such as this (websites that are trusted in their bounty of
knowledge). Another is to attend workshops on parenting to learn the craft of dealing
with children of all ages and all temperaments. An efficient way of bettering parenting
skills is to talk and listen and communicate with depth to your child. This will allow you
to get a glimpse of your childs thoughts and vice-versa and in the bargain; a glowing,
bouncing rapport is formed, constituting a definite edge in parenting skill.
Parenting skills can be improvised by taking advice when absolutely needed by trained
professional in the field of children and their psychological frames. Bouncing advice off
of other parents can be beneficial. Brain-Storming can happen, ideas and suggestions can
be implemented, points of views can be exchanges regularly and joint-decisions even
may follow
Getting inhibitions out a child can be a action towards better parenting because many
children have their own set of inhibitions that they do not like to discuss with anyone. By
taking time out together as a family, like for instance, taking a vacation, reading a book
together and spending quality time are good ways to achieve the former.

Faith in any amounts is such a positive influence on


children. Instill a habit in children to say a prayer
every day. Saying a prayer will among all things, give
a child a sense of good vibrations and good energy
before going to bed10 Tips For Successful Parenting

Wednesday, February 24, 2010, 18:26


Tips For Successful Parenting
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Tips are something that nearly everybody is in need of at some point or juncture of their
life. In school, children seem to want tips for better performances and tips related to
better study. As adults, we look for tips in life, tips as advice, tips from friends.
Homemakers look for advice and tips for better household management and parents look
for tips to better and successful parenting. In this quest for tip searching, this is a hopeful
ten tips for every parent looking to make a success of their parenting

Ten useful tips for Successful Parenting


1. Enjoy your child instead of always worrying about his or her habits, behavior,
school, homework,, tuition and so on
2. Realize that your child has his or her mind and individuality and therefore taking
his or her opinion and point of view into consideration is an absolute must
3. Give your child the benefit of the doubt before blaming a child for anything. This
is imperitive and essential for every parent to bear in mind.
4. Be a fair person in your disciplinary methods. Be nice until you really need to be
a bit more firm, but after that, let time allow your advice to sink in to the childs
mind by offering the same advice in different situations again so that your child
has a good learning
5. Dont be hasty in listening to your child. Allot time. Spend time listening. Lend
your child a listening ear and you never know what all you could discover about
your child
6. Take time to play. Both you and your child should. All work and no play makes
Jack a dull boy or Jill a dull girl. Same applies to adults.
7. Watch fun filled cartoons or animated films together. Watch meaningful child
cinema as a family, your child will value that gesture a lot
8. Take a trip down memory lane and be a child sometimes too. There is no child
that does not enjoy seeing an adult relive their childhood and let loose
9. Show affection by speaking kind words about your child to your friends when
your child is around, this will greatly encourage your child to be better and well
behaved as he or she feels more responsible
10. As a parent, instill positive, vibrant values in your children. This will help them in
future, even if they experience peer-pressure or get into un-desirous habits
These tips act as a map in the road to good parenting. It is a tiresome process and a
difficult job to raise kids. Raising kids with good values is even tougher. Raising kids to
be respectful to elders used to be done with seeming ease and today, getting kids to even
say hello to elders is an exercise for a parent. Herewith, lies the perils of exposure that
todays kids have, as opposed to the exposure had by kids born even as

How to Improve Existing Child Parent Relationship

Tuesday, March 2, 2010, 18:40


parenting skills
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Children work and respond well to complements and gifts and treats, dont they? Yes,
they do! Improving a parent-child rapport is easy. Compliment your child when he or she
has done well or even attempted something good. Be flowery in your language with them
and be loving in nature. Children are like flowers, treat them with affection, they
blossom. Treat them with shots and screams, they seem faded and worn out.

Good ways to improve existing parent-child rapport and relationship are listed in the
following.
Its essential to know that children would be at a happier space when they know that their
every move is noticed by their parents and that they would receive accolades and
appreciation even if they do not win a competition but just participate healthily. These
kids get encouraged to follow their hearts and dreams and change their dreams and
ambitions in course of growing up as well. Treat your child to an ice cream when you
know that he or she has got good marks from school or give your child a hug if he or she
gifts you a hand-made craft item. Take your kids for outings and take them to eat lunch
with you to a restaurant so that they feel adult and responsible as well. Take time to play
board games like carom board with your child, this will increase healthy competitive
spirit and will have an enthusiastic impact on the child
Play outdoor games with children. Children love nature and they love adventure and so, it
is no surprise that they love the outdoors! Take them on picnics, take their friends too for
a picnic visit once in a way so that you can be a part of all the excitement6 and fun that
the kids have whilst in a picnic area. Take food and snacks and chocolate treats for your
child and the friends because these will be a real hit! And in the process, you become a
hit with your childrens friends and your child
Be patient. Patience is a key to solving many problems. Be calm in your approach. If
your child is hyper-active, it does not mean that you must response with hyper-activity as
well. Calm and still will help sooth the situation many a time when there is high-strung
energy around. Patience is a virtue and every parent must practice it for their childs sake
and their own sake. These are more than good ways to improve existing relationships
between parents and children of all age groups

Stress and exams

Wednesday, March 3, 2010, 9:58


Child Habits, good parenting
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Exams are a way to build seriousness in a curriculum. Schools give notice much ahead in
advance so that the child has enough time to learn and practice. The extra classes are just
to give more support to the child in understanding a concept better. Children have an
intrinsic quality to learn things and retain the subject matter, provided it is taught in a
proper manner.
Parents too get stressed during their childrens exams. It is important to first lower our
pressure so that the child is not affected. Working parents need to make their days more
flexible and allow themselves to unwind early so that the child is not neglected. Many
times children are well prepared and yet go blank when the paper arrives. This is a case
of chronic phobia and many times its a kind of mental pressure that disallows clear
thinking.

It is important to get the child attuned to daily tasks like homework. Though it is good to
be around the child constant nagging will not help. Children who perform due to pressure
will succumb to low grades once they are on their own. Though parents play a huge role
in helping the children with academics, in the later years the child has to solve his own
chemistry equations. Hand holding in an emotional support is more preferred.
The relation between unhealthy eating habits and studies is very much proven. The
enzymes produced in a child who is constantly craving for junk food does not calm the
mind. Hence there is confusion and the result is untimely eating or sluggish life habits.
Help the child finish his cereal and make time to converse on the breakfast table. Without
building pressure, concentrate on the positive points and strike a balance it expressing
your expectations.
Both parents have a different style of parenting and the positive traits in both parents
help a child excel in studies. It is about building an attitude to work hard so that the
results are consistent in terms of grades or knowledge. Stress is a common occurrence
before any performance and it is important to not let the child lower his confidence. A bit
of pranayama and relaxing well before receiving the questionnaire is beneficial.

Getting kids to keep their rooms clean


Posted by Mritunjay | Advice, Discipline | Saturday 27 February 2010 2:07 pm
Getting your kids to clean their room is no easy deal. Few kids like to keep their rooms
neat and clean whereas a majority of children just dont care about cleanliness factor.
Well, reasons could be genetic or learned behaviour. Parents often choose between two
options of cleaning the room themselves or try to be patient while instructing kids about
how to keep their room clean. Parents actually need to develop patience while training
kids about how exactly they should keep their rooms tidy and neat. Cleanliness does not
mean stuffing toys under the bed or simply forcing things into closets. Thats far from
organizing things.
Keeping room neat and clean is a habit that must be imbibed by the kids from an early
age. It is also a good learning experience for the child. Tell him in an effective way how
keeping his room tidy and neat will help him in finding his stuff more easily. It will help
him in finding his books, toys and clothes more readily. Parents also need to lead by
example by keeping things tidy all over the house in a consistent fashion.
Indicate your child that keeping his room neat is sign of his maturity. If he does it well, he
will show signs of increasing levels of responsibility. Dont forget to compliment him for
this habit. Keep rewarding him with small gestures like a small pat, hug or peck if he
manages to keep thing clean in his room.
The process must begin with demonstration. Show child the way about how to go for
cleanliness. Things like opening window shades, putting away toys, making the bed etc

should be taught first. Slowly, you can add other tasks like cleaning bathroom or mopping
floor etc. Parents should remember this is a skill that must be imparted to kid at an early
age and in the best possible fashion.

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Responsibility of Twins Parenting


Posted by Mritunjay | Family, New Baby | Saturday 20 February 2010 2:03 pm
Parenting is definitely one of the greatest pleasures of life. That little bundle of joy can
completely transform your life in a positive way. Now imagine, having not just one but
two babies in your hands? A feeling of ecstasy and double delight? Yes, it surely is.
Having twins is like one of the greatest blessings a person can receive in a lifetime. But
once the initial excitement tapers down, the next question that comes in your mind is how
to care for them? Handling one baby is enough then what will happen if parent has to
take care of two at once?
If parenting is a blissful feeling then it is also a stressful experience. Once you bring the
babies home, the stress increases manifold and you start wondering whether you will be
able to handle this huge responsibility. The problem intensifies when there is no outside
support. If your extended family members are residing nearby then that acts as some
comfort else you are just on your own.
First thing you need to tell yourself that your twins make your family complete. You need
to set a routine and schedule for everything. Remember, you need to enjoy your time with
the babies before they grow into toddlers. This realisation will reduce your stress level
considerably. Having a set schedule will make things easier for you. Parents also need to
realise that for proper care of twins they need to feel fresh as well. Activities like bathing
babies can be done alternatively. If both parents combine together in the process, it can
save lot of time and energy. Also, doing chores together will help in building better sense
of bonding between parents and twins.
Having twins is definitely a wonderful gift but to be able to take adequate care of both
babies, parents need to have a structured lifestyle. Try to relish this experience, reduce
your stress and say thanks to almighty for this wonderful twin gift.

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Preventing childrens temper tantrums


Posted by Mritunjay | Discipline | Friday 12 February 2010 2:00 pm
Does your kid throw tantrums on a regular basis? Well, you are not the only parents to
suffer from this problem. Parents all across the globe go through child tantrum issue. The
main reason behind this occurrence is new found autonomy by the children. Children
start doing things on their own, they decide about their clothes, making new friends and a
hint of independent streak starts emerging. But the high of this independence factor is
quite restricted by parental control. When children dont find things going their way, they
start feeling frustrated and as a result of that venting their ire through tantrums seem to be
only logical way out.
Some of the basic reasons behind temper and tantrums shown by kids are boredom,
frustration, hunger and exhaustion. A toddler can easily get frustrated for N number of
things. It could be as simple as not being able to switch on the light or television.
Boredom is again natural to kids as they cant sit still in one position. They need to keep
moving and if their movement is restricted they start feeling bored and irritated.
Toddlers need to eat more frequently than an adult and that explains why hunger is most
often the prime reason behind childs tantrums. Parents must keep in mind when was the
last time the child had snacks. So before your toddler starts throwing tantrums you must
be aware of his eating cycle and when he might start feeling hungry again.
Sleep is another important issue here. A child needs to have his siesta and many a times
temper tantrums emerge when child is devoided of a good sleep. Try to establish a
sleeping routine for kid. Parents must also use different distraction method when child
starts demanding for unreasonable things. To end with, tantrums are a normal part of
growing up phase of the kid and it cannot be completely avoided. But yes, with little bit
of effort and attention you can always minimise it.

Comments (0)

Well Mannered Child


Posted by Mritunjay | Discipline, Motherhood | Friday 5 February 2010 1:57 pm
Manners are perhaps one of the most important constituent of a childs personality. But
teaching right set of manners and etiquettes can be a challenging task for parents. Going
by the way new generation is emerging; some of the old school manners seem to be
vanishing. The rebellious streak has taken a toll on manners. But if you teach your kid
manners from a very early age, he will be most likely to have those even in his youth.
Manners form a valuable part of social skills and they will serve as a useful help for the
rest of the childs life.
Parents should lead by example. Just conveying message to your kid will not suffice. A
child needs to see you practicing what you preach. So if you are teaching your kid about
the best method of approaching a stranger or a sales person in a store, you need to show it
first by saying it yourself. Children are quick learner and they get the drift while watching
from close quarters. Manners are learned naturally and if the kid finds you inconsistent
with your behaviour he might embarrass you by mentioning it.
If your child is not showing enough mannerism you need to take things in control and tell
them properly how best to do what they are doing. Though, peer interaction can also
affect how a child behaves. But these things are always easy to correct when kid is
younger. As he grows older he will make a habit of undesirable manners and then it
becomes tough to handle. So the best time to start teaching manners to child is now only.

Comments (0)

Teaching Your child to Deal with Bullies


Posted by Mritunjay | Advice, Schools | Tuesday 26 January 2010 7:33 pm
Children face different sort of problems in school and one such problem is dealing with
bullies. The best method to handles bullies is by ignoring them but what if that method
does not work? Parents must help children in handling such situations because being
bullied is never ever a good experience and it can seriously affect self-confidence and
self-esteem of the kid. The problem of bullying is almost a universal one and faced by
numerous kids in schools. Times have also changed and there should be new strategies to
handle such serious problems. Telling your kid all the time to ignore such problem will
not work.

Parents should consult school administration in regards to such issues. The problem of
bullying has been taken seriously in many schools and many educational institutions are
taking strong measure to curb this menace. Some of the common steps being taken by
schools are establishing anti-bullying rules and procedures, mediation between victims
and bullies, stern monitoring and classroom discussion etc. Check whether, your kids
school has implemented any such program and also offer your suggestions.
You should also focus on your kid and see what makes him vulnerable to bully attack.
Make sure he has good group of friends and he stays in a group because bullies usually
dont pester a kid who is walking in a group. Encourage your child all the time to voice
his objections and stand tall. No point being a silent victim all the time. Build selfconfidence in the kid and he will be able to tackle any adverse situation. Teach him to
look people in the eye and remain firm. Make him join a self-defense class where he will
be equipped with required defense mechanism.

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The cyberspace kids


Posted by pankti | Advice, Schools, Teenagers | Sunday 24 January 2010 6:27 am
Todays children are growing up with new technologies that are creating new generation
gaps. Not only do children today breed on Youtube and Facebook, but also their world
includes with video chats, digital books, video games and the likes. This accelerating
pace of technology, which the children are being exposed to, is creating huge generation
gaps. Children, who are in their formative stages of development, are being exposed to so
much in so little time that they are ageing fast & are losing out on their childhood. The
place where this generation gap is most visible is in the way these kids communicate and
make their entertainment choices. Studies have shown that children as young as eight and
nine SMS more often than the teenagers do! The study also revealed that the newer
generation; unlike their older peers, lack patience and expect an instant response from
everyone they communicate with. Because this generation is being brought up in an
instantaneous communication enriched world, they also expect their parents and teachers
to give them quick replies.
Children today are thriving on the virtual world. Most of them have more friends in the
virtual world than the real world. They are hooked to playing video games, love isolation
but at the same time are actively socializing virtually, prefer chatting than talking on the
phone, communicate effectively but at the same time find it difficult to express emotions
etc.

A mother of an eight year old daughter revealed that her childs life is shaped up by
technologies and high tech gadgets. She knows nothing other than a world that is full of
e-books, Skype video chats, and games on the iPhone! All these facts reveal that parents
need to put certain restrictions on the technology usage patterns by their kids. Try and not
expose your kids to such addictive gadgets at such an early age. It is important that your
child learns to play cricket (for instance) than press buttons and makes runs!

Comments (0)

Learning to share
Posted by pankti | Advice, Family, Motherhood | Wednesday 20 January 2010 6:25 am
I recently attended a family get-together where I met my three year old cousin. She came
with her doll. I asked her if she will give her doll to me and instantly she shouted
No.Not just that, when another cousin of mine (4 year old) tried taking the doll from
her, she cried and cried and created a big scene. This shows that children usually find it
difficult to share their things with other people. Child selfishness is no new. I am sure
many parents must have faced similar situations doubting whether their child will ever
grow out of such behavior. One thing that parents must realize children are not born with
a mindset that encourages sharing. It is slowly and gradually that they are taught to share
and care.
The sharing instinct comes when your child starts maturing. Every child matures at his or
her own speed. All that parents can do is bringing them up in an environment that
encourages and influences such behavior. You need to showcase desirable actions to your
children so that they can learn to live in harmony.
Many parents start calling their little one selfish in front of others. They pretend to not
talk with their child until they share their things. Dont force the child with such
desperate measures. Parents need to accept the fact that there are some things that your
children may not be willing to share. Give them their time. They may even start sharing
when they see other children doing the same. However, if your child falls under the
category where she is possessive about her things but will want and easily take away
other kids things, then you need to make your child respect other kids possessions too.
You need to show your child that you can share too. Also praise your child every time he
shares his things.

Comments (0)

Protecting Children from Internet


Posted by Mritunjay | Advice, Safety | Monday 18 January 2010 7:25 pm
We all know how internet has completely transformed our lives. It is perhaps the largest
knowledge base available to us humans. If you are looking for any answer, you just have
to try out any search engine and you will find your answers. World has literally changed
since the advent of internet. No doubt, internet is a great learning experience for every
educated person. But then, no thing in life comes up without its iota of problems. Internet
has arrived with some peculiar problems. Every other day, we face threats in forms of
spam, malware, spyware, fraudulent mails and obscene chat rooms. No one is exempted
from this threat including your children.
Children, now a day are very comfortable with usage of internet. They often surf internet
for their projects or in search of new online games. But there is a distinct possibility of
child visiting unsuitable websites and becoming prey to dangerous predators. Parents
need to ask themselves questions like whether children are protected from such dangers.
Whether child is at risk while using computer? Parents need to keep a tab on what
children are viewing and who they are interacting with on internet.
Parents also need to be aware of different online chat rooms where doubtful adults join
the group under the disguise of a teenager and try to manipulate a kids unsuspecting
mind. Children will have no clue who they are dealing with actually and this might prove
dangerous in the long run. Parents should keep checking such things and ask children
about their online friends and their activities. Parents should be patient and tackle such
issues with utmost patience. Parents should tell children not to share their personal details
including address, phone number and not to meet them as well. Parents should also use
special programs that take care of doubtful websites visited by children. They can always
use inbuilt parent control program to safeguard interests of kids.

Comments (0)

Increasing suicidal tendencies in teenagers


Posted by pankti | Advice, Motherhood, Stress, Teenagers | Friday 15 January 2010 11:53
am
It is shocking to read in the papers almost every day the rate at which students in India
are committing suicides. Teenage suicide has become a growing concern among our
Indian society. So what is it that triggers these young brains to take such a big step? Fast
life? Stress? Depression? Loneliness? Peer pressure? Exam and study related anxiety?
Issues with parents? Inability to cope with life? Or all of this? Most students today agree
to the fact that they have had suicidal thoughts at least once in their life. Isnt this scary?
Well, it is high time parents and teachers need to get together and address this issue more
strongly.
To begin with, it has been noted that events that have triggered suicides are: failure in
academics, relationship failure, child abuse, raging and peer pressure, family disturbance
and being diagnosed with some illness.
Many parents are totally in shock when they realize that their child has suicidal
tendencies. Rather than getting upset over the fact, it is an alarm for most parents that
something is not right with your kids. You need to identify that problem. Parents need to
know the answer to following questions: Is my child happy? How is his nature? Is he the
kind of person who is apprehensive and anxious? Is he a rebel? His academic
performance? His thoughts, actions and behavior patterns in general?
Having answered these questions, there are some questions that parents need to ask
themselves: How do we behave with our kids? Do they fear us? Are we spending quality
time with our kids? Do we love them enough and show them that as well? Do we get
angry on our kids?
Parents should talk openly with their children about their feelings.
Listen carefully to them and dont try to interrupt and solve their problems. Avoid judging
them on their opinions. Most parents give sermons and preach their kids. Avoid that.
Nobodys is a perfectionist neither is anybodys life perfect. Teach your child to be
strong. Also, avoid keeping your child alone especially during pressure building times
like exams. Take professional help if you think your child has suicidal tendencies.

Comments (0)

Television violence and children


Posted by Mritunjay | Advice, Discipline | Tuesday 12 January 2010 7:30 pm
Modern age has given us many comforts but at the same time, it has also caused some
concerns among parents. Television is omnipresent in almost every household. Kids love
to watch TV but experts caution against negative influence of television on children.
Many television programs including movies and serials etc are full of violence and this
adversely affects children. Its up to the parents where to draw the line and keep our kids
safe from such influences.
Television programs of yesteryears did not use to be this violent. The contents have
become more explicit. Whenever a child turn on the TV and witnesses violence, explicit
scenes and obscene languages, his mind becomes vulnerable to such programs. Most of
the programs on cable TV contain objectionable items. In other words, majority of
television programs are only suitable for adult viewing and not for kids. There are few
cartoon channels or news channels that are entertaining for kids but parents cannot
always keep a tab on remote. Children love to watch television programs and especially
songs, videos and movies. These programs have a very powerful influence on behaviour
of the kids.
Studies show that too much of television may cause children to become numb or immune
to the horror of violence. Children are unable to differentiate between real life violence
and reel life violence. Another dangerous effect could be in form of reducing humane
factor. Kids could also interpret that violence is the only way of solving problems.
Parents can limit the time children watch TV. Parents should also encourage kids to
indulge in other more vigorous activities like sports or reading. Constant TV viewing
makes mind dull. Help your kid in nurturing a hobby. Also try to keep a tab on what kids
are watching and be very strict about it. Parents must get themselves involved with kids
from an early age and try to nullify negative effects of TV on kids minds.

Child Is the Father of Man"


Monday April 6, 2009

In the famous poem, The Rainbow, William Wordsworth used the expression, "The child is father of the man." This expression means that all
our positive and negative traits are established when we are young. Indeed, if you watch children at play, you will notice them demonstrate
certain characteristics which remain with them forever.
It is necessary to groom children to adopt healthy attitudes and positive traits so that they grow up to be balanced individuals.

The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) model


At any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture
of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three egostates that people consistently use:

Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in


response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental
figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a

person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an
influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating
that worked.
Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like a computer
processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that
cloud its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a
person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal
of reality.
Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel and think
similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor
evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as
they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good
evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The
Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.

Berne differentiated his Parent, Adult, and Child ego states from actual adults, parents,
and children, by using capital letters when describing them. These ego-states may or may
not represent the relationships that they act out. For example, in the workplace, an adult
supervisor may take on the Parent role, and scold an adult employee as though they were
a Child. Or a child, using their Parent ego-state, could scold their actual parent as though
the parent were a Child.
Within each of these ego states are subdivisions. Thus Parental figures are often either
nurturing (permission-giving, security-giving) or criticizing (comparing to family
traditions and ideals in generally negative ways); Childhood behaviours are either natural
(free) or adapted to others. These subdivision categorize individuals' patterns of
behaviour, feelings, and ways of thinking, that can be functional (beneficial or positive)
or dysfunctional/counterproductive (negative).
Berne states that there are four types of diagnosis of ego states. They are the behavioural
diagnosis, social diagnosis, historical diagnosis and the phenomenological diagnosis of
ego states. For a complete diagnosis one needs to complete all four types. It has been
subsequently demonstrated that there is in fact a fifth way of diagnosis. It is known as the
contextual diagnosis of ego states. For example if a man says, On July 5th, 2007 the
alignment of the planets will create a magnetic field so large that there will be the biggest
tides in half a century, what ego state would be diagnosed?
If that man was of a dishevelled appearance, had not shaven for 2 days and was sitting on
a park bench drinking out of a bottle in a brown paper bag what ego state would be
diagnosed?. Probably some kind of regressed Child ego state. If that man was in an
observatory wearing a white coat and carrying a clip board what ego state would be
diagnosed? Probably Adult ego state. The different contexts for the same statement would
tend to result in a different diagnosis. The context in which the statement is made is
central to the diagnosis of ego states.

Ego-states do not correspond directly to Sigmund Freud's Ego, Superego and Id, although
there are obvious parallels: ie, Superego:Ego:Id::Parent:Adult:Child. Ego states are
consistent for each person and are argued by TA practitioners as more readily observable
than the pats in Freud's hypothetical model. In other words, the particular ego state that a
given person is communicating from is determinable by external observation and
experience.
There is no "universal" ego-state; each state is individually and visibly manifested for
each person. For example, each Child ego state is unique to the childhood experiences,
mentality, intellect, and family of each individual; it is not a generalised childlike state.
Ego states can become contaminated, for example, when a person mistakes Parental rules
and slogans, for here-and-now Adult reality, and when beliefs are taken as facts. Or when
a person "knows" that everyone is laughing at them because "they always laughed". This
would be an example of a childhood contamination, insofar as here-and-now reality is
being overlaid with memories of previous historic incidents in childhood.
Although TA theory claims that Ego states do not correspond directly to thinking, feeling,
and judging, as these processes are present in every ego state, this claim is selfcontradictory to the claim that the Adult is like a computer processing information,
therefore not feeling unless it is contaminated by the Child.
Berne suspected that Parent, Adult, and Child ego states might be tied to specific areas of
the human brain; an idea that has not been proved.[11]
The three ego state model has been questioned by a TA group in Australia, who have
devised a "two ego-state model" as a means of solving perceived theoretical problems:
"The two ego-state model says that there is a Child ego-state and a Parent ego-state,
placing the Adult ego-state with the Parent ego-state. [...] How we learn to speak, add up
and learn how to think is all just copied from our teachers. Just as our morals and values
are copied from our parents. There is no absolute truth where facts exist out side a
persons own belief system. Berne mistakenly concluded that there was and thus
mistakenly put the Adult ego-state as separate from the Parent ego-state." [12][13]

[edit] Transactions and Strokes

Transactions are the flow of communication, and more specifically the unspoken
psychological flow of communication that runs in parallel. Transactions occur
simultaneously at both explicit and psychological levels. Example: sweet caring
voice with sarcastic intent. To read the real communication requires both surface
and non-verbal reading.
Strokes are the recognition, attention or responsiveness that one person gives
another. Strokes can be positive (nicknamed "warm fuzzies"[14]) or negative ("cold
pricklies"). A key idea is that people hunger for recognition, and that lacking
positive strokes, will seek whatever kind they can, even if it is recognition of a

negative kind. We test out as children what strategies and behaviours seem to get
us strokes, of whatever kind we can get.
People often create pressure in (or experience pressure from) others to communicate in a
way that matches their style, so that a boss who talks to his staff as a controlling parent
will often engender self-abasement or other childlike responses. Those employees who
resist may get removed or labeled as "trouble".
Transactions can be experienced as positive or negative depending on the nature of the
strokes within them. However, a negative transaction is preferred to no transaction at all,
because of a fundamental hunger for strokes.
The nature of transactions is important to understanding communication.

[edit] Kinds of transactions


There are basically three kinds of transactions:
1. Reciprocal/Complementary (the simplest)
2. Crossed
3. Duplex/Covert (the most complex)
The importance of parenting

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What Children Need to Grow and Thrive


The way parents interact with their children has a direct effect on their development their level of confidence and self-esteem, their sense of security, their
emotional well-being, the way they relate to others, how they deal with authority, and their performance in school.

Parenting styles revolve around three important dimensions:

Limit setting the degree to which parents expect mature and responsible behaviour from their children;

Love the way parents nurture their child by showing affection, approval and support for their development; and

Respect whether or not parents allow their children to express their own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.

Basic parenting styles


There are four basic parenting styles.

Positive parents nurture, discipline, and respect their children in equal measure. They set high standards and expectations, consistently enforce rules, and
encourage independence. Open communication and the ability to listen are key. Their parenting is said to be positive.

Demanding parents, on the other hand, discipline their children but dont tend to nurture or respect them. They value obedience and discourage independence.
They set strict rules, enforce them harshly and do not like to have their authority questioned. These parents are often described as dominating.

Permissive parents tend to nurture their children but dont engage in effective discipline and dont model or expect respectful behaviour. Although they show love
and give attention, they make few demands and set no guidelines or structure for their children.

Unengaged parents dont discipline, nurture, or respect their children. They are generally uninvolved and disinterested in parenting, interacting only minimally with

their child. Their lack of interest may be due to their own immaturity or to problems with substance abuse.

Why is parenting style important?


Research over many years has confirmed over and over that parenting style has a direct effect on how children grow and thrive.
In general, children do better in life if they come from a home in which there is positive (authoritative) parenting. Children from positive homes have good selfesteem and self-confidence, and have lower levels of anxiety and depression. They function better socially, academically, and in the work world, and have few, if
any, behaviour problems. They tend to become respectful and responsible adults.

Children from authoritarian homes have both low self-esteem and self-confidence, high levels of anxiety and depression, and tend to have problems interacting with
others. Their academic achievement is usually average and they have some behaviour problems. They also have persistent problems with authority.

Children from permissive homes have high self-esteem and self-confidence, and reduced levels of anxiety and depression, but they tend to do badly at school, show
a lot of behaviour problems, and lack respect and responsibility.

At the other end of the spectrum, children who come from homes in which the parents are unengaged have the worst outcomes as adults. They tend to have low
self-esteem and self-confidence, high levels of depression and anxiety, and have poor social skills. They have a lot of behaviour problems, do badly in school, have
little respect for themselves or others, and lack responsibility.

Adapted from Parenting the Preschooler. Whats Your Parenting Style? http://www.uwex.edu/ces/flp/pp/ and
Darling N. Parenting Style and Its Correlates. 1999: ERIC Digest #ED427896
http://www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html

What's your Parenting Style?


Parenting style has a direct effect on how children grow and thrive. The following quiz [1] will help you discover your parenting style and gain a better understanding
of how it impacts your childs development.

Check all the statements that you believe to be true for you.

1.

I believe that it is better not to have rules than to worry about breaking them.

2.

Children should obey their parents and not talk back.

3.

Children should be given choices.

4.

Children can get along pretty well if you just leave them alone.

5.

My own problems are so consuming I dont have time or energy for my child.

6.

What I do wont make a difference, so Ive given up with my child.

7.

Sometimes children have a point. I try to listen to them.

8.

I make the rules of my household. Children should be punished for not following these rules.

9.

Children should be allowed their own sense of individuality.

10.

I have high standards which I expect my child to understand and I enforce rules consistently.

11.

Parents should do as much as they can for their children (making their beds, getting their snacks, dressing them).

12.

When my child misbehaves, I yell and threaten.

13.

If I discipline my child, I am afraid he/she wont love me.

14.

I know whats best for my child, after all Im the parent.

15.

I let my child do what he/she wants because I want to avoid conflict.

16.

I have so many other things to do, the children will just have to make it on their own.

Find the numbers you checked below to discover your parenting style. You will probably find that you possess characteristics of more than one style. Once you
understand these styles, you can make adjustments as you feel necessary to achieve the best outcomes for your child.

Positive

Demanding

Permissive

Unengaged

11

12

13

10

14

15

16

For a description of the styles and how they affect a childs development, go to The importance of parenting.

This parenting quiz was developed by Joan E. LeFebvre, Professor, Department of Family Development, University of Wisconsin-

4.
Super Mom
Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.
You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.
You're a dependable source of comfort;
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.
I love you more than you know;
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!
By Joanna Fuchs
Everything Mom
How did you find the energy, Mom
To do all the things you did,
To be teacher, nurse and counselor
To me, when I was a kid.
How did you do it all, Mom,
Be a chauffeur, cook and friend,
Yet find time to be a playmate,
I just cant comprehend.
I see now it was love, Mom
That made you come whenever I'd call,
Your inexhaustible love, Mom
And I thank you for it all.
By Joanna Fuchs
Mother poems and Mother's Day poems don't always have to be from children. This Mother's Day poem from daughter to mother is
from the viewpoint of an adult. A poem from daughter to mom celebrates that unique bond between female parent and child. This
mother poem is a gift in itself! Mother daughter poetry is extra special. Enjoy this mother daughter poem for free.
A Sonnet for My Incomparable Mother
I often contemplate my childhood, Mom.
I am a mother now, and so I know
Hard work is mixed together with the fun;
You learned that when you raised me long ago.
I think of all the things you gave to me:
Sacrifice, devotion, love and tears,
Your heart, your mind, your energy and soul-All these you spent on me throughout the years.
You loved me with a never-failing love
You gave me strength and sweet security,
And then you did the hardest thing of all:
You let me separate and set me free.
Every day, I try my best to be
A mother like the mom you were to me.
By Joanna Fuchs

This Mother's Day poem acknowledges the essential contributions a mother makes to her children's lives. It's a mom poem that
she will treasure.
Without You
Mom, without you, there would be no me.
Your love, your attention, your guidance,
have made me who I am.

Without you, I would be lost,


wandering aimlessly,
without direction or purpose.
You showed me the way
to serve, to accomplish, to persevere.
Without you, there would be an empty space
I could never fill, no matter how I tried.
Instead, because of you,
I have joy, contentment, satisfaction and peace.
Thank you, mom.
I have always loved you
and I always will.
By Joanna Fuchs
Here's a love poem from mother to daughter. This mother to daughter poem can be used as a daughter Mother's Day poem. If your
daughter is not a mom, just leave our the second stanza, and you can use it just as a daughter from mother poem. This mother
daughter poetry can strengthen that special bond.
Daughter of My Heart
You turned out even better
Than I often dreamed youd be;
Youre more than I had hoped for;
Youre a sweet reward to me.
You grew up to be a mother
Full of wisdom, warmth and love,
A good and fine role model,
A blessing from above.
I couldnt be any prouder
Than I am today of you;
Youre my daughter and my friend,
And a wonderful person, too.
You have my love forever;
I adored you from the start;
Its a privilege to be your mother,
Dear daughter of my heart.
By Joanna Fuchs

Mother poems can express what mother means to her offspring. This mother poem is perfect for a Mother's Day card or as a
Mother's Day poem.
What "Mother" Means
"Mother" is such a simple word,
But to me theres meaning seldom heard.
For everything I am today,
My mothers love showed me the way.
Ill love my mother all my days,
For enriching my life in so many ways.
She set me straight and then set me free,
And thats what the word "mother" means to me.
Thanks for being a wonderful mother, Mom!
By Karl Fuchs
This mother poem in free verse expresses gratitude for mom's unselfishness and giving nature. It could be used as a Mothers Day
poem.
My Miracle Mother
Mom, I look at you
and see a walking miracle.
Your unfailing love without limit,
your ability to soothe my every hurt,
the way you are on duty, unselfishly,
every hour, every day,
makes me so grateful
that I am yours, and you are mine.
With open arms and open heart,
with enduring patience and inner strength,
you gave so much for me,
sometimes at your expense.
You are my teacher,
my comforter, my encourager,
appreciating all, forgiving all.
Sometimes I took you for granted, Mom,
but I dont now, and I never will again.

I know that everything I am today


relates to you and your loving care.
I gaze in wonder
as I watch you being you
my miracle, my mother.
By Joanna Fuchs
Mother poems often show appreciation to mom. This Mother's Day poem for mom thanks her for all she's done for you. Give it to
her for a Mother's Day poem or on any day you want to express your love for her. You could even frame it for a Mother's Day gift.
You Let Me Know You Love Me
You let me know you love me
In so many different ways.
You make me feel important
With encouragement and praise.
You're always there when I need you
To comfort and to care.
I know I'm in your thoughts;
Your love follows me everywhere.
Thank you for all you've done
And given so generously.
I love you, my wonderful mother;
You're a heaven-sent blessing to me.
By Joanna Fuchs

Mother poems can specify what kids learned from Mom. This mother poem is perfect for a Mother's Day poem. It's an inspirational
poem for Mother's Day.
I Learned From You
I learned about love from you,
Watching your caring ways.
I learned about joy from you
In fun-filled yesterdays.
From you I learned forgiving
Of faults both big and small.
I learned what I know about living
From you, as you gave life your all.
The example you set is still with me
I'd never want any other.
I'm thankful for all that you taught me,
And I'm blessed to call you "Mother."
By Joanna Fuchs
Most of the mother poems here are rhyming poems, but there are some in free verse. This mother poem is a nonrhyming poem
written as a Happy Mother's Day poem for a mother gift or card. It's an I love you Mom poem for Mother's Day.
A Thousand Thanks
Mother's Day brings to mind
The thousands of things you did for me
that helped make me happier,
stronger and wiser,
because I had you as a role model.
I'm grateful for all the times
you healed my hurts
and calmed my fears,
so that I could face the world
feeling safe and secure.
I'm thankful for all you showed me
about how to love and give-lessons that now bring
so many blessings to me
each and every day.
Your sacrifices and unselfishness
did not go unnoticed, Mom.
I admire you, I respect you,
I love you.
And I'm so glad you're my mother!
Happy Mother's Day!
By Joanna Fuchs

Mother poems can tell mom what's special about her. This mother poem recognizes the uniqueness of every mother. This poem is
suitable for a Mothers Day poem to go with a gift or be put in a card.
Nobody's Like You, Mom
Nobody's quite like you, Mom.
You're special in every way.
You cheer me up, you fill my cup
With tenderness, come what may.
Nobody loves me like you, Mom.
No matter what I do,
Good or bad, happy or sad,
You support me; You always come through.
Nobody's equal to you, Mom.
With you in my life, I'm blessed.
I love you so, and I want you to know
I think you're the very best!
By Joanna Fuchs

Mother poems should let mom know she's special. This mother poem does that. It also says "I love you," so it's a mom poem she'll
treasure
Extra Special Mom
Mom, youve always been the best
A better mom than all the rest.
Im thankful for all the things you do
Im glad my mom is extra special you!
On Mothers Day, I want you to know
Youre the greatest mom, and I love you so.
Theres one more thing I want to say:
I wish you Happy Mothers Day!
By Joanna Fuchs
Here's a mother poem from a son that could be used as a Mother's Day poem from son.
Best Mom Award
For all the things I didn't say,
About how I felt along the way-For the love you gave and the work you've done,
Here's appreciation from your admiring son.
You cared for me as a little tot,
When all I did was cry a lot,
And as I grew your work did too-I ran and fell and got black and blue.
I grew some more and it didn't stop;
Now you had to become a cop,
To worry about mistakes I'd make;
You kept me in line for my own sake.
I got older, and the story repeated;
You were always there whenever I needed.
You guided me and wished me the best,
I became wiser and knew I was blessed.
So, for all the times I didn't say,
The love I felt for you each day,
Mom, read this so you can always see
Just how much you mean to me.
Mom, Thanks for everything!
By Karl Fuchs

Funny Mother Poem


People who write funny mother poems have plenty of material! Someone who has never been a mother can't possibly understand
all mom has to handle, as this funny mother poem describes.
I Want To Be Locked Up
(Thoughts from a harried mom, who is beginning to think some time in a minimum-security, white collar crime prison is looking
pretty good.)
I want to be locked up
Away from everything,
Free from all the craziness
A mother's day can bring.

No planning, shopping, cooking


Three healthy meals a day,
Served up with love to finicky kids
Who throw most of it away.
No constant interruptions,
Dirty laundry on the floor,
Driving everyone every place,
Sibling rivalry (Its war!)
No one asking me to do things,
Getting mad if I forget,
Me giving up my very self
Im the family marionette.
Prison sometimes looks appealing
(Or maybe the looney bin),
I get free time and three square meals;
With nothing to do, I win!
I want to be locked up
For freedom, time and such,
Theres just one obstacle for me:
I love my kids too much!

M is for the million things she gives me


O means only that she's soft to hold
T for the things she tries to teach me
H is for her heart of purest gold
E for her eyes with love light shining
R means right and right she'll always be
Put them all together they spell Mother,
A word that mWhen you put yourself under more pressure than you can handle, you
make yourself vulnerable to a host of illnesses that can worsen into life-threatening
diseases. Too often, we only notice our problems when they come and not before they do.
Remember the old adage: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure - and it's easier
on the budget, as well. Take some time off your schedule and check yourself for any signs
of mental and/or physical breakdown.
The results of this quiz can serve as a loose guideline when drafting a stress management
program, so it's important that you answer the questions honestly. If you find that more
than one answer applies to you, choose the one that applies to you best.
1. When forced to work overtime, how do you deal with it?
A: I start working on the things that need to be done.
B: I think first, and then I take my time doing what I need to do.
C: Get annoyed and bored with work.
2. If you suddenly find yourself in debt, you...
A: Try to settle all your financial problems as soon as you can manage.
B: Assess the situation and gradually recover from your financial losses.
C: Brood over the problem.

3. If you were asked to describe your life in one word, it would be?
A: Progressive.
B: Stable.
C: Difficult.
4. When you encounter a problem, you...
A: Take it as a challenge.
B: Think about what necessary steps to take to deal with it.
C: Blame others for the problem.
5. If a person you are waiting for is late, you?
A: Find something to distract myself with while waiting.
B: Read a good book or take in the sights and relax.
C: Get annoyed and angry.
6. When you're given more work than you can deal with, you?
A: Redouble your efforts in order to make ends meet.
B: Trace a course of action and slowly but surely adapt to the pressure.
C: Complain about it.
7. During a vacation you?
A: Go everywhere I can go to.
B: Relax.
C: Find it difficult to relax.
8. You find work?
A: Engaging.
B: Amusing.

C: Difficult.
9. You feel like you're?
A: Ready to tackle anything that comes my way.
B: Calm and open-minded.
C: Not able to make things go my way.
10. When something forces you to change your lifestyle, you?
A: Accept the changes.
B: Learn how to deal with the changes.
C: Complain about it.
If most of your answers are "A," it means that you're a very active and reliable person.
You address problems by either dealing with them directly instead of letting things
resolve themselves. It's most likely that your stress coping mechanism is turning stress
into positive stress (eustress) which allows you to benefit from it while dealing with it at
the same time. You usually achieve this by distracting yourself with a hobby or resorting
to some form of exercise. The combination of your sound mind and healthy body will
enable you to withstand a good degree of stress.
If the majority of your choices end up as "B" you're most likely a very relaxed, laid-back
and logical individual. You take your time with things, minimizing the chances of error
on your part. It is also this very methodological approach to things that allow you to root
out most problems before they even become problems. Chances are you rarely deal with
problems, and when you do, it doesn't affect you as much as it normally should, and you
perform as though nothing happened. The only drawback to all these traits is you are
prone to becoming too passive. You run the risk of overlooking problems or giving
yourself too long a time to deal with things and thus you may find yourself facing a
problem that you could have nipped at the bud.
Mostly "C" answers would reflect your relatively poor coping mechanisms. You're
probably irritable and always want things to go your way, which is never the case in life.
You become frustrated because of this and you end up putting unnecessary tension on
yourself. Your nature could also be attributed to some life-changing event that may have
happened recently. It might be advisable to seek professional help and start changing the
way you see problems when they come. It would also be a good idea to start getting into
shape, as a physically healthy person will receive stress much more favorably than one in
poor health.

eans the world to Because everyone reacts to stress in his or her own way,

no one stress test can give you a complete diagnosis of your stress levels.
This stress test is intended to give you an overview only. Please see a Stress
Management Consultant for a more in depth analysis.
Answer all the questions but just tick one box that applies to you, either yes
or no. Answer yes, even if only part of a question applies to you. Take your
time, but please be completely honest with your answers:
Yes
No
I frequently bring work home at night
1
Not enough hours in the day to do all the
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23

things that I must do


I deny or ignore problems in the hope that they
will go away
I do the jobs myself to ensure they are done
properly
I underestimate how long it takes to do things
I feel that there are too many deadlines in my
work / life that are difficult to meet
My self confidence / self esteem is lower than I
would like it to be
I frequently have guilty feelings if I relax and do
nothing
I find myself thinking about problems even
when I am supposed to be relaxing
I feel fatigued or tired even when I wake after
an adequate sleep
I often nod or finish other peoples sentences
for them when they speak slowly
I have a tendency to eat, talk, walk and drive
quickly
My appetite has changed, have either a desire
to binge or have a loss of appetite / may skip
meals
I feel irritated or angry if the car or traffic in
front seems to be going too slowly/ I become
very frustrated at having to wait in a queue
If something or someone really annoys me I will
bottle up my feelings
When I play sport or games, I really try to win
whoever I play
I experience mood swings, difficulty making
decisions, concentration and memory is
impaired
I find fault and criticize others rather than
praising, even if it is deserved
I seem to be listening even though I am
preoccupied with my own thoughts
My sex drive is lower, can experience changes
to menstrual cycle
I find myself grinding my teeth
Increase in muscular aches and pains
especially in the neck, head, lower back,
shoulders
I am unable to perform tasks as well as I used

24
25

to, my judgment is clouded or not as good as it


was
I find I have a greater dependency on alcohol,
caffeine, nicotine or drugs
I find that I dont have time for many interests /
hobbies outside of work

A yes answer score = I (one), and a no answer score = 0 (zero). TOTALS


me. Your score:
Most of us can manage varying amounts of pressure without feeling
stressed. However too much or excessive pressure, often created by
our own thinking patterns and life experiences, can overstretch our
ability to cope and then stress is experienced.
4 points or less: You are least likely to suffer from stress-related illness.
5 - 13 points: You are more likely to experience stress related ill health
either mental, physical or both. You would benefit from stress management /
counseling or advice to help in the identified areas.
14 points or more: You are the most prone to stress showing a great many
traits or characteristics that are creating un-healthy behaviours. This means
that you are also more likely to experience stress & stress-related illness e.g.
diabetes, irritable bowel, migraine, back and neck pain, high blood pressure,
heart disease/strokes, mental ill health (depression, anxiety & stress). It is
important to seek professional help or stress management counseling.
Consult your medical practitioner.
Tips to help improve your score
Review the questions that you scored yes:
See if you can reduce, change or modify this trait.
Start with the ones that are easiest & most likely to be successful for you.

Only expect small changes to start with, it takes daily practice to make any
change.
Support from friends, family/colleagues will make the process easier and
more enjoyable.
Professional help is always available & your GP is a good place to start.