Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Part 1: Me
Thank You God. If youre reading this, I just want to thank you so
much. This is really the culmination of my lifes work as far as
poetry goes. Ironically, poetry has helped me more than words
could ever express. That never stopped me from trying though.
Thats Me
I'm a person who tries to see the humor in everyday situations
But I feel I'm intelligent enough to know when not to joke.
I think I might be socially awkward when I get emotionally hurt
That's something I'm going to have to get over
I'm extremely vocal when it comes to my emotions
So everybody I know pretty much knows how I feel about them
I'm arrogant at times only because I feel like I'm the only person
on my team
And somehow my arrogance will compensate for that
I also am good being alone
But I always feel a need to have someone around
That's me
Who am I to Worry?
Power in my words when I speak, I hope everybody listens
People say that I'm deep, I thank God they pay attention
It's a girl that I love, her name I'm scared to mention
Maybe we could be but we're in the wrong dimension
We probably met too early, I just wasn't who I like
Im Good
I'm good, I had to get right for me
Down the tunnel, I saw no light for me
Going down a path to my own destruction
I looked in the mirror, I saw nothing
Well nothing I could recognize from before
And I couldn't talk to anyone, not even the Lord
Personal problems, this was my crisis
Inside me, I wanted to kill the nice kid
I hated him, I felt he ruined my chances
He was the reason girls shunned my advances
If I didn't hate him, I wanted him gone
I'd move on in life without him along
So basically I became the biggest jerk
I killed the nice kid, I hoped it hurt
I thought if I behaved like this, I would grow
At the end of the day, myself I didn't know
Blinded by that pain and internal confusion
Crossroads
Who am I though
But a genius, foolishness spewing from his pie hole
But what do I know
At the crossroads of a legend and a sideshow
This really is a pivotal point in my adult development
I'm supposed to be somebody, I hear my mama yelling it
It's hard though and no I'm not complaining
But I've fallen and failure can be draining
I know all the steps, I just can't force myself to take them
I can't get my footing, I'm slipping cause it's raining
I need to pray more but I'm afraid to talk to God
I know it's awful, because I claim to walk with God
You see I do but I do from across the street
I have to keep Him close, I need Him watching me
I love the Lord, I am His anointed, I'm chosen
I really need to do better, I can't leave Him disappointed
I won't leave Him disappointed
19
Just turned nineteen, that's one year from twenty, that's pretty
scary
That means I'm approaching that age where people get married
But me I don't want none of that, I'm not saying I'd run from that
But one I cross that line, I fear there is turning back
My dad met my mom back when he was nineteen
What if I meet my son's mom and I don't say the right things
What if I meet her and I'm just not ready to settle down
I just couldn't calm my rebel down
What if a girl I shunned could've been the one
And then as the years run, I find myself without a wife or a son
Honestly the thought is frightening
That my whole life could change because of a mistake that I
made when I was nineteen
I want to be lyrical
But what are lyrics if the world never hears it though?
I want to be the man but am I taking the right steps
Or am I missing the point like I'm sleep and my flight left
I claim I want to be the greatest but I don't know if I mean it
All I know is I write words and people are astounded by the
meaning
Or astounded that I was the one that freed them
From the depth of my confused mind, like they must've just been
blind
Because they never saw me like I came from behind and became
this way overnight
Like I spontaneously just learned to write
Like I didn't have the ability to speak this life
They say I'm like two different souls, call me day and night
The day I think is how the world sees me
Before the night comes and it truly frees me
Problems
Part 2:
Inspirations
Shawn Hunter
I feel like death, I hope I don't die
If I do die though, just know I lived a life
Filled with happy times and Lord knows there were bad times
Yeah I made mistakes, that doesn't mean I'm a bad guy
I always hated that I was more Shawn Hunter than Cory
Matthews
I think I was broken because I couldn't have you
Even Angela left Shawn
Margolis
Shattered Glass
Sip, sip, sip, swallow, swallow, swallow
Tell me, when I reach the end of this bottle
Will I forgot all this pain I don't wish to remember
Like how I can't recollect ninety five the eighth of September
They brought it up today, the events of the past
Heartbreak
What else is there to say, I have no words left
I've loved, I've lost, I've learned, I've wept
Salty tears, I wouldn't wish that taste on any tongue
People tell me I have time, they tell me I'm young
While this is true, pain is pain, no matter the age
So my pain your pain it's all the same
This is that pain that won't ever be forgotten, always remembered
That pain you feel when your heart is dismembered
And you try to get through it by telling yourself it'll be fine
But being fine is the last thing on your mind
You just want an explanation for the sake of your heart
Why is it broken in such minuscule parts?
Could all the pain have be avoided?
Could you have saved your heart before you destroyed it?
These thoughts they never go away from your mind
You say you should have known, biased sight, hind
You want a second chance, to go back to the beginning
Forrest Gump mindset: "why don't you love me Jenny?"
Unfortunately the one you love won't see the light
That for them, only you will be right
You always have hope they'll see before it's too late
But you know they won't and that's quite a weight
I have no address, so guess where I stay
An old rundown hotel, I call it Heartbreak
Pac Taught Me
I have Ambitionz az a Ridah, Pac taught me that
I keep my head up, Pac taught me that
Part 3: Love
This Love
It's like me and the poetry were married and started to grow apart
The poetry was my light but I chose to dwell in the dark
Truthfully, I was scared of the truth
I knew I was in trouble, I never wanted the proof
I fell into a place where I started listening and caring for peoples'
opinions
Seeking their approval, for them I was living
I was living in fear, I was living in the past
Crushed that I could never build anything that would last
I needed something, so I set out to seek it
Something different, so new places I would frequent
Places strange, far away from what I was accustomed
In actuality, seeking someone or something I could get love from
I came to realize that love doesn't come from superficial things
Like clothes, money, cars, diamond rings
The love I sought is and was always inside of me
It is the love of God and the poetry, again my bride to be
Bang Bang
Bang bang. I'm hit, I've been hurt yet again
And it was all my fault potentially lost a friend
Because I wanted something more than what I had
And Unfortunately it all ended up bad
Truthfully I just blame myself
Things would be cool if I concealed how I felt
Life would be better as a quiet admirer
Because I got hurt when I openly admired her
I told myself I would experience no more pain
But at the end the results were the same
As with other girls as years went by
And as my age augments, so do the tears I cry
The whole situation really was Embarrassing
And believe me, I was burned, fire, kerosene
For me I thought she was the perfect fit
She was nice but I misinterpreted
That to mean something more
But at the same time obvious signs I ignored
Love VII
I treat these women right, I have all along
Despite that they love guys who do them wrong
That's real, they would deny it but it's true
I'm sitting here like "what am I to do?"
I know a guy like me could never ever win
So why would I ever try again?
I wouldn't, I won't subject myself to that
Love VIII
Insecurities
Look hard but I swear you'd never see
All my deep seeded insecurities
That feeling you get when you feel you're not good enough
You know that feeling when Aphrodite deserted us
Why couldn't I have been born someone else
Someone with fame, fortune, the looks, the wealth
I think about it all and I get so mad at it
Thoughts swirling, will I ever be adequate?
True Love
Last year I wrote this poem for you
It was apology for how I did wrong to you
It was for your eyes only
Forrest Gump
We were watching Forrest Gump, that movie always made me
cry
The reason why, it's kind of the story of my life
I mean the love part, not the rest
I suck at ping pong, I'm not a Vietnam vet
It's ironic that Forrest was always running but could never catch
Jenny
You know that girl, the one from the beginning
She was supposedly the one for him and he was there for her
He saw the world wasn't fair and he was scared for her
He loved her, but she just didn't know what love was
He stayed loyal though, I guess that's just what love does
Could you ever love someone so unconditional
That you would cross the country if ever they did mention you
That you would keep forgiving past all of the damages
You love her too much and you just can't manage it
She's bad for you, and you know it to be true
But she makes your life worth living, so what are you to do?
Forrest waited for her, you see here's the part that gets me
She was ready to slow down, but there was something wrong
with Jenny
She was finally with the man who had always been there for her
He always saw her value, he cared for her
It was just too late, there's never enough time
Tomorrow is never promised, so love while you're alive
The saddest part to me was never Jenny's deteriorating health
It was the fact Forrest loved Jenny more than Jenny loved herself
Dream Situation
It's a dream situation, on the beach we're laying
I look up I see a kid who looks like me playing
With a girl who looks just like you, they're siblings
And even more than that, they are our children
That's amazing, the sun is blazing
But we like it, we're in the Cayman's
This is our first time and probably not our last
Holding on to these precious moments because time flies fast
I'll never forget this, we're here because I'm Santa and this was
on your wish list
I see pretty blue water, we are swimming with the fishes
I see Marlin and Dory looking for Nemo, I hope they find him
My oldest son doesn't want the newborn to outshine him
It's funny because I told my son we all shine
So bright we leave the world all blind
From overexposure to pure awesomeness
I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be awesome with
Family: One of God's greatest gifts
Part 4: Life
Truth and Lies
I'm asking God to speak to me, I want to go blind
And then I'll just transcribe these lines
I don't mean blind as in to not see
I mean blind to things distracting me
I want to maintain the purity of truth
It won't be stolen like the purity of youth
I'm holding on hard my truth won't be taken
To maintain the truth is the quality of great men
The truth seems easy, life makes it hard
Life's obstacles shape who we really are
The truth? It's what a lot can't handle
So they end up getting burned like candles
It's like Halloweentown, perpetual disguises
The truth just isn't as comfortable as those lies is
In reality those lies just help
Maintain or improve how you felt
Because the truth can hurt brutally
Or feel good, given to you soothingly
Do I really want the truth or do I want those lies?
The truth hurts, it brings moisture to my eyes
But those lies could end up being my demise
So don't feed me lies though it's the truth I despise
Pray For Me
You say I'm deep, but what does that mean?
Do you find yourself drowning whenever you read?
Or you're shocked that my words came from me
Like nothing beautiful could be made by me
Okay, it's deep, but tell me just what it did for you
Like what specific feelings did it give to you?
Did it take you back to a time where things were good?
For My Sisters II
To be honest, to be honest, I'm in love with that chocolate
I want it, you flaunt it, skin so ebonic
You are heaven sent, I'm in love with your melanin
It's excellent, it's evident that girls like you are prevalent
In my dreams and it seems that your elegance reigns supreme
over things I have seen
I love all your curves, I love your hair, you're a queen
Don't let anyone tell you different, they are liars
I see your plight and I can't tell that you're tired
Of being overlooked and underappreciated
I can feel your struggle, I know you hate it
I care so much because I need you and I love you
And one day I'll have a daughter in need of strong black women
to look up to
I want my daughter to grow up with a chance
I don't want her denied anything because she's not a man
I want her to love herself, I want her to know her worth
Before she loves anyone, she needs to love herself first
To Really Live
You know roses are red, I'll never forget that
I've made some mistakes, but I have to live with that
They say that violets are blue, no they're violet
I was living my life but I was not the pilot
Living for people who world never see me
Just the person that they thought I could be
Living to be a clone in a corrupt society
Where the dumb thrive and the wise just die in peace
Do I want to die or do I want to survive
Is compromising my integrity worth staying alive?
No. I'd rather die than sacrifice my being
I just can't bring myself to go the way you're leading
I'll find my own path, I never needed your way
I have the courage to really live, it seems to me that you're afraid
Ferguson
I shed a tear, I shed a tear for Ferguson
It's police versus them, these police are hurting them
I thought the police were supposed to be protectors
Not pointing loaded weapons at innocent protestors
First amendment run over by these armored vehicles
Dear Lord, you see these people hurting, I'm asking for a miracle
It seems as though not much has changed
From when my grandparents were young, seems the same
I know this hurts Malcolm X, this hurts Dr. King
"I died so my people wouldn't have to go through these things"
It's an understatement to say this sickens, this saddens me
It's going to take a lot to correct this tragedy
What if they never value us? I really do fear that
Is this America? I can't see the flag through the tear gas
Surviving While Black
I broke down because I felt misunderstood
In a society that says I'm always up to no good
Kill me because I'm in a nice neighborhood and I'm wearing a
hood
I don't want to die too young, I just want to live to see my son
I've just seen too many die, so many clipped wings just trying to
fly
I don't want to die too young
Part 5: Finale
Thank You
First of all thank God, without Him there is no me. I just really
hope you all can see that because thats whats most
important through it all.
Okay, this is the thank you section, there was a poem but I
scrapped it. Also, sorry if I forget anybody. Thanks to my
family, I love yall. Shouts to my sister, Rachel she just
started her freshman year at Cleveland State so thats
whats up. Ill miss you low key. Im proud of you and
everything. Weve been through everything together and I
know youll be successful in college. Dont mess up like I
did lol.
Shouts to my brother, who just started his sophomore year at
Purcell. I dont know if youll ever read this but I really
hope you continually follow your dreams. You inspire me.
And youre also the most annoying human being I have
ever encountered and I low key hate you lol.
Just in case you didnt know I was once a student at OSU but
then I got dismissed for my academics. It would be a
shame if I didnt shout out my friends at OSU still and
people I met there in general.
Shouts to all of my suitemates from the 1600s, Ill never forget
everything we went through that year, Ill always feel like I
let you all down and I really think about you guys often.
Taylor, Dean, Casey, Al, Nic, Kevin, Mustafa, Jesse and
of course Sam who basically lived with us lol.
as you did. And thanks for hanging out with me, freshman
year would have been extremely lonely lol. Oh and
Makeens girlfriend is fine, tell him he has my approval.
Shouts to the 1620s, you guys were cool. Especially Maria and
Grace.
Shouts to my PREFACE family. I love and miss yall. I see you all
grinding and that makes me proud seeing you all grow
and evolve. I really wish things had worked out differently,
so I could be with you all, but thats life. Shout out to Kam,
I always see you making moves. And shoutout to Z, you
are nothing like the person I met 2 years ago, in the best
way possible. I look up to you for real.
And shouts to Josh Cheston and John Folger. Ill never forget the
first night of Preface and we prayed together, that was
really a blessing and the last thing I wouldve expected.
And Josh Im really excited about your photography.
Shouts to Jordan Fraser, Im still mad I never bagged Emily lol.
Me, you, Alex and Dalia had a lot of fun back in those
days. I hope everything is cool with you
Shouts to my PREFACE RA, Rebecca or Rebekka I really dont
know how you spell it lol. Ive been meaning to get in
contact with you, I hope all is well.
Ernest Levert, Im appreciative of you. Jordan Boon, Im
appreciative of you. Alex Claytor Im appreciative of you.
Ill always have love for my NSBE family and my AAV
family. I credit my AAV family for keeping me grounded
during my freshman year. Thanks for letting me hang out
with you guys Chris, Raya and Jerica.
Thank you Chance The Rapper, you are an inspiration and Israel
(Sparring) is a classic.
Shouts to Ciara Williams, you dont know this but you really
inspired me to start writing and for that inspiration, Ill
always be appreciative. And congratulations on your
beautiful daughter.
Kendell Bobo, thanks for being a friend and a brother all these
years. I see you grinding and Im praying for you.
Shouts Arthur Reed, Ill send you some beats.
Isaiah aka H2O, I cant wait to hit the studio. Fire bars only.
Shoutout Loverboy Rickie lol.
Shoutout to Jay Hill, Im excited for your future projects.
Brando Ford, we never linked up for that song lol.
Stu Holt, thank you so much for everything. Your words and
motivation have been huge for me in the past, I really
hope God continues to bless you.
Shouts to my Morning Star family.
Shouts to Roger Simmons, we had some really good times back
in those days lol, I really hope everything is going well
with you.
Shouts to Sidney Davis.
Thank you J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar, I really hope your collab
project is coming. The world needs it.