Guns don't kill people. Dr. Norris Chuckabee kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Dr. Norris Chuckabee allows to live.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Dr. Norris Chuckabee is Pain.
There is no chin under Dr. Norris Chuckabee' Beard. There is only another fist.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Dr. Norris Chuckabee 3. Cancer
Dr. Norris Chuckabee drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is my Homeboy.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't go hunting.... Dr. Norris Chuckabee GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Dr. Norris Chuckabee has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not sleep. He waits.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Dr. Norris Chuckabee beard. There is only another fist.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can slam a revolving door.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not get frostbite. Dr. Norris Chuckabee bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Dr. Norris Chuckabee likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Dr. Norris Chuckabee has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the
store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims.
Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Dr. Norris Chuckabee-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee falls in water, Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't get wet. Water gets Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Dr. Norris
Chuckabee Roundhouse Kick)
Dr. Norris Chuckabee house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Dr. Norris Chuckabee? ...All of it.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Dr. Norris Chuckabee, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering,
just ask to be Chucksized.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Dr. Norris Chuckabee has been there. In that case the grass is most
likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Dr. Norris Chuckabee is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no
force equal in reaction to a Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Dr. Norris Chuckabee just to be
on the safe side.
While urinating, Dr. Norris Chuckabee is easily capable of welding titanium.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of
the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Dr. Norris Chuckabee kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Dr. Norris Chuckabee calls this "a
slow Tuesday."

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Dr. Norris Chuckabee to go around.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Dr. Norris Chuckabee is Dr.
Norris Chuckabee.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Dr. Norris Chuckabee, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Dr. Norris Chuckabee" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise
invented pink.
When you're Dr. Norris Chuckabee, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only
a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Dr. Norris Chuckabee randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Dr. Norris Chuckabee throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Dr. Norris Chuckabee Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get
a job". That is the story of the universe.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has
encountered Dr. Norris Chuckabee"
Dr. Norris Chuckabee ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be
contained in one building.
If you Google search "Dr. Norris Chuckabee getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out
of his monther's womb.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Dr. Norris Chuckabee. There were no
survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Dr. Norris Chuckabee 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Dr.
Norris Chuckabee will find you and kill you.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Dr. Norris Chuckabee Roundhouse kicked one of the corners
off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Dr. Norris Chuckabee lives in Oklahoma.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't believe in Germany.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Dr. Norris Chuckabee to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would
have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Dr. Norris Chuckabee came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was
also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Dr. Norris Chuckabee smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women
within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dr. Norris Chuckabee pajamas.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the
same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Dr. Norris Chuckabee can stretch diamonds back into coal.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
A high tide means Dr. Norris Chuckabee is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house
kick to the face.
There is in fact an I in Norris, but there is no team not even close.
Scotty in Star Trek often says Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Dr. Norris Chuckabee can change
the laws of physics. With his fists.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds
AWESOME.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Dr. Norris Chuckabee once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the
50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time
continuum.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Dr. Norris Chuckabee because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Dr. Norris
Chuckabee' autobiography.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee can slam a revolving door.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not swim. This is because when Dr. Norris Chuckabee enters the water, the water gets out of
his way and Dr. Norris Chuckabee simply walks across the pool floor.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Dr. Norris Chuckabee instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages
long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Saurons ass halfway through the first chapter.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses
to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Dr. Norris Chuckabee would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
The crossing lights in Dr. Norris Chuckabee's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of
Dr. Norris Chuckabee punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Dr. Norris Chuckabee decided it wasn't tough enough to be
associated with him. The Army, for fear of Dr. Norris Chuckabee, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon
more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't step on toes. Dr. Norris Chuckabee steps on necks.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were
completely unbelievable.
Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
There is no such thing as global warming. Dr. Norris Chuckabee was cold, so he turned the sun up.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Dr. Norris Chuckabee, 3. Cancer
It's widely believed that Jesus was Dr. Norris Chuckabee' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible
for nails to pierce Dr. Norris Chuckabee' skin.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Along with his black belt, Dr. Norris Chuckabee often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it.
Ever.
Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Dr. Norris Chuckabee to live in
the White House. The reason for this is because Dr. Norris Chuckabee had won every Federal, State, and Local election
since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Dr. Norris Chuckabee. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Dr. Norris
Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that
actually is "his" way.
The last thing you hear before Dr. Norris Chuckabee gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell
no tales.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
As a teen, Dr. Norris Chuckabee had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months
later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in asskicking.
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Some kids play Kick the can. Dr. Norris Chuckabee played Kick the keg.
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Dr. Norris Chuckabee. After a workout, Dr. Norris Chuckabee rubs his muscles down with liquidhot MAGMA.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee cannot love, he can only not kill.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of
the bottle.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Dr. Norris Chuckabee can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead
bodies for scientific research.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb.
He was referring to the Dr. Norris Chuckabee halloween costume he was wearing.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Dr. Norris Chuckabee. The other
6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Dr. Norris
Chuckabee is kicking your ass, dont be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
If Dr. Norris Chuckabee were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Fear is not the only emotion Dr. Norris Chuckabee can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a
roundhouse kick from Dr. Norris Chuckabee."
Dr. Norris Chuckabee's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't run.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Dr. Norris Chuckabee can roundhouse-kick his head
through a wall and take it.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Whats known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesnt use its full name, which happens to be Ultimate
Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
The easiest way to determine Dr. Norris Chuckabee' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Dr. Norris Chuckabee finds it
delicious.
Most boots are made for walkin'. Dr. Norris Chuckabee' boots ain't that merciful.
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Dr. Norris Chuckabee killed the
entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
The Bible was originally titled "Dr. Norris Chuckabee and Friends"
Dr. Norris Chuckabee began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably
pathetic.
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Dr. Norris Chuckabee brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard.
As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Dr. Norris Chuckabee then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly.
This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee was what Willis was talkin' about.
Google won't search for Dr. Norris Chuckabee because it knows you don't find Dr. Norris Chuckabee, he finds you.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Dr. Norris Chuckabee jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Dr. Norris Chuckabee to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he
went back in time and fathered himself.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee destroyed the periodic table, because Dr. Norris Chuckabee only recognizes the element of surprise.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Dr. Norris Chuckabee a giant
meteor.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
That's not Dr. Norris Chuckabee doing push-ups -- that's Dr. Norris Chuckabee moving the Earth away from the path of a
deadly asteroid.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can judge a book by its cover.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Dr. Norris Chuckabee. Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats black holes.
They taste like chicken.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Q: How many Dr. Norris Chuckabee' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Dr. Norris Chuckabee prefers to kill in
the dark.
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Dr. Norris Chuckabee."
Dr. Norris Chuckabee just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
Since 1940, the year Dr. Norris Chuckabee was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented the internet just so he had a place to store his porn.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same
time.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Dr. Norris Chuckabee needs toothpicks.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Dr. Norris Chuckabee' personal chef.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse
kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always
makes it to Oregon before you.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Dr. Norris Chuckabee calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front
yard.
When God said, "let there be light", Dr. Norris Chuckabee said, "say 'please'."
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Dr. Norris Chuckabee' fists is inside
his own body.
One day Dr. Norris Chuckabee walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck
met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee uses a night light. Not because Dr. Norris Chuckabee is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of
Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn
barn falls down.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Dr. Norris Chuckabee is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of
elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the
actors he fights.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck
doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Dr. Norris Chuckabee glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Dr. Norris Chuckabee were cloned, then it would be possible for a Dr. Norris
Chuckabee roundhouse kick to meet another Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact
would end the universe.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and
doused in diesel fuel.
If Dr. Norris Chuckabee round-house kicks you, you will die. If Dr. Norris Chuckabee' misses you with the round-house
kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills
people.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Dr. Norris
Chuckabee while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Dr. Norris Chuckabee. The film was cancelled shortly
after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth
to a Ford Excursion.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.
Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Dr. Norris Chuckabee. He only has two needs: killing people and
finding people to kill.
The truth will set you free. Unless Dr. Norris Chuckabee has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
For most people, home is where the heart is. For Dr. Norris Chuckabee, home is where he stores his collection of human
skulls.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it
is so deadly to Superman.
Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Dr. Norris Chuckabee
in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and
translates them into audible sound.
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Dr. Norris Chuckabee.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Dr. Norris Chuckabee's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck
charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee does division, there are no remainders.
If you rearrange the letters in "Dr. Norris Chuckabee", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are
understood.
Never look a gift Dr. Norris Chuckabee in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Dr. Norris
Chuckabee will beat his ass and take it.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Dr. Norris Chuckabee killed
him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Dr. Norris Chuckabee' basement".
The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Dr. Norris Chuckabee entering any building smaller
than an aircraft hangar.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Dr. Norris Chuckabee bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Dr. Norris Chuckabee, dies by the roundhouse kick.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Dr. Norris Chuckabee come off without a
hitch.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Dr. Norris Chuckabee in a movie theater and forgets to turn
their cell phone off.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' Roundhouse kick is so powerful, that on the set of Sidekicks he single-footedly destroyed Jonathan
Brandis' Career.
Staring at Dr. Norris Chuckabee for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and
possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can taste lies.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Dr. Norris Chuckabee kicks ass and assigns the corpse a
number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
One time, Dr. Norris Chuckabee accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
In 1990, Dr. Norris Chuckabee founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America". If the organization's
name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Dr. Norris Chuckabee kicked David Carradine's ass, then
proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does, in fact, live in a round house.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that
Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Dr. Norris Chuckabee as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die
unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
The only sure things are Death and Taxesand when Dr. Norris Chuckabee goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same
thing.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Dr. Norris Chuckabee is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Dr. Norris Chuckabee is pain. Do not try to square Dr. Norris Chuckabee, the result is death.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission:
seek and destroy.
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Dr. Norris Chuckabee your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is
only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Dr. Norris Chuckabee' weight is his dick.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Dr. Norris Chuckabee' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse
kick to the face.
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Dr. Norris Chuckabee took when he was younger. However, in Dr.
Norris Chuckabee' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Noah was the only man notified before Dr. Norris Chuckabee relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme
badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhousekicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Dr. Norris Chuckabee thrives on pain.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Dr. Norris
Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by
blinking.

Fact: Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
It is said that looking into Dr. Norris Chuckabee' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always
the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Dr. Norris Chuckabee with "obstruction of justice." This is because even
Dr. Norris Chuckabee cannot be in two places at the same time.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
When you say "no one's perfect", Dr. Norris Chuckabee takes this as a personal insult.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single
question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
182,000 Americans die from Dr. Norris Chuckabee-related accidents every year.
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Dr. Norris Chuckabee beats all 3 at the same time.
Jesus can walk on water, but Dr. Norris Chuckabee can walk on Jesus.
All roads lead to Dr. Norris Chuckabee. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
If you're driving down the road and you think Dr. Norris Chuckabee just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it
wasn't the other way around.
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Dr. Norris Chuckabee was born. Coincidence? i think not.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist
because they have no teeth.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Dr. Norris Chuckabee Disease"
Dr. Norris Chuckabee was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
If you work in an office with Dr. Norris Chuckabee, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Dr. Norris Chuckabee". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhousekicked inthe face by Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
The First rule of Dr. Norris Chuckabee is: you do not talk about Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Dr. Norris
Chuckabee isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Dr. Norris Chuckabee is skilled enough to
unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Dr. Norris Chuckabee always replies "you know what else is intense?"
followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
As an infant, Dr. Norris Chuckabee' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

Most people fear the Reaper. Dr. Norris Chuckabee considers him "a promising Rookie".
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Dr. Norris Chuckabee carried his the same distance in half the time.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
What many people dont know is Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children
can escape his wrath.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the
bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Dr. Norris Chuckabee' initials. This is not a
coincidence.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
Think of a hot woman. Dr. Norris Chuckabee did her.
A man once claimed Dr. Norris Chuckabee kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could
survive it the first time.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecueflavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't chew gum. Dr. Norris Chuckabee chews tin foil.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Dr. Norris Chuckabee is on.
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Dr. Norris Chuckabee". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name
happens to be Mary.
Every time Dr. Norris Chuckabee smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while hes roundhouse kicking someone in the
face. Then two people die.
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Dr. Norris Chuckabee asks for a body bag.
Theres an order to the universe: space, time, Dr. Norris Chuckabee.... Just kidding, Dr. Norris Chuckabee is first.
A man once asked Dr. Norris Chuckabee if his real name is "Charles". Dr. Norris Chuckabee did not respond, he simply
stared at him until he exploded.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure
Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
In a tagteam match, Dr. Norris Chuckabee was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant.
He pinned all 3 at the same time.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each
foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
For undercover police work, Dr. Norris Chuckabee pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the
stuntman for every character.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Dr. Norris Chuckabee kills a
lion.
The word 'Kill' was invented by Dr. Norris Chuckabee. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with
his fists.
The 11th commandment is Thou shalt not piss off Dr. Norris Chuckabee This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is
impossible to accomplish.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is his own line at the DMV.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Dr. Norris Chuckabee. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the
face.
Who let the dogs out? Dr. Norris Chuckabee let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light
switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after
the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who
appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
If Dr. Norris Chuckabee wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
Not everyone that Dr. Norris Chuckabee is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a
concealed weapon in over 50 states.
A movie scene depicting Dr. Norris Chuckabee losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive
visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Dr. Norris Chuckabee' first visit to Tokyo.
They once made a Dr. Norris Chuckabee toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Dr. Norris Chuckabee gets too hot.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Dr. Norris Chuckabee that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving
this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Dr. Norris
Chuckabee for help.
There are no such things as tornados. Dr. Norris Chuckabee just hates trailer parks.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass.
Nobody follows Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Dr. Norris Chuckabee's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck
charm indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Dr. Norris Chuckabee fecal matter. This was proven a
recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope
Diamond.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Dr. Norris Chuckabee needed a back scratcher.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle
opener and a drywall trowel.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet
of Child" sandwich.
For Spring Break '05, Dr. Norris Chuckabee drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Dr.
Norris Chuckabee Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
Divide Dr. Norris Chuckabee by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
TNT was originally developed by Dr. Norris Chuckabee to cure indigestion.
After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Dr. Norris Chuckabee with a handshake. The
rest is history.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Dr. Norris Chuckabee' theme song.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Only Dr. Norris Chuckabee can prevent forest fires.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

In the movie "The Matrix", Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code"
scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Dr. Norris Chuckabee killed the cat. Every single one of them.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his
third. That afternoon.
One time, at band camp, Dr. Norris Chuckabee ate a percussionist.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse
kick to the face.
Love does not hurt. Dr. Norris Chuckabee does.
The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Dr. Norris Chuckabee, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and
Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Dr. Norris Chuckabee kills all birds, with two stones. The ones
in his pants.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee knows the last digit of pi.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of
the episode.
The air around Dr. Norris Chuckabee is always a balmy 78 degrees.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Dr. Norris Chuckabee created God by snapping
his fingers.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Dr. Norris Chuckabee to kill you...Fourty seven times.
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Dr. Norris Chuckabee and three seven year old
girls. Dr. Norris Chuckabee won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
Mr. T pities the fool. Dr. Norris Chuckabee rips the fool's head off.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the AntiChrist.

They were going to release a Dr. Norris Chuckabee edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Dr. Norris
Chuckabee. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
A man once taunted Dr. Norris Chuckabee with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Dr. Norris
Chuckabee proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Dr. Norris Chuckabee was chasing the
Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized
world-wide as "acts of God."
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Dr. Norris Chuckabee calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front
yard.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Dr. Norris Chuckabee fight.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil
from the land. That man is not Dr. Norris Chuckabee, because Dr. Norris Chuckabee killed that man.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
When you play Monopoly with Dr. Norris Chuckabee, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You
will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Dr. Norris
Chuckabee ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him
instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Dr. Norris Chuckabee does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Dr. Norris Chuckabee touches turns up dead.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues,
"...afraid of Dr. Norris Chuckabee."
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels.
For every movie about Vietnam starring Dr. Norris Chuckabee, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more
"Missing in Action" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee' penis has a Hemi.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to
make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon
animal.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
Kenny G is allowed to live because Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't kill women.
Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Dr. Norris Chuckabee, roundhouse kicking you in the
face. And if you receive a box of Dr. Norris Chuckabee, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.
For Dr. Norris Chuckabee, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
During the Vietnam War, Dr. Norris Chuckabee allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own
entrails. He asked for seconds.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Dr. Norris Chuckabee heads outside and brands his cattle.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee actually built the stairway to heaven.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Dr. Norris Chuckabee's kindergarten class.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Dr. Norris Chuckabee didn't kill you in your
sleep.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Norris' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a
Columbian Necktie.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two
levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Dr. Norris
Chuckabee, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Dr. Norris Chuckabee wanted his nickname back.
If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Dr. Norris Chuckabee hears it. Dr. Norris Chuckabee can hear
everything. Dr. Norris Chuckabee can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Dr. Norris Chuckabee dies.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul
with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can get Blackjack with just one card.
"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm
Dr. Norris Chuckabee! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It
wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
People created the automobile to escape from Dr. Norris Chuckabee...Not to be outdone, Dr. Norris Chuckabee created the
automobile accident.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can sneeze with his eyes open.
Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. Its actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the
others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The
archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because
its simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Dr. Norris Chuckabee for every answer.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Dr. Norris Chuckabeeaurus.
People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Dr. Norris
Chuckabee
Dr. Norris Chuckabee wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats lightning and farts thunder.
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Dr. Norris Chuckabee is looking for it.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. Dr. Norris Chuckabee once played rugby by
himself. He went undefeated.
In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Dr. Norris Chuckabee was
coming.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to
punch a baby.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Dr. Norris Chuckabee". But Dr. Norris Chuckabee
was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.

Dr. Norris Chuckabee's sweat has burned holes in concrete.

The wind of Dr. Norris Chuckabees round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
There is no Control button on Dr. Norris Chuckabee' computer. Dr. Norris Chuckabee is always in control.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Dr. Norris Chuckabee is also responsible for the
eradication of smallpox.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Dr. Norris
Chuckabee.
Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee stared evil in the face, and it backed down
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can split the atom. With his bare hands.
On the SAT if you put Dr. Norris Chuckabee for every answer you will score over 8000
The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Dr. Norris Chuckabee
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame
Dr. Norris Chuckabee doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new
facts were added instantly.including this one
You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless youre Dr. Norris Chuckabee
No matter what your mother always said, Dr. Norris Chuckabee can tune a fish.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is '' The best a man can get ''
On Valentine's Day, Dr. Norris Chuckabee gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic,
Dr. Norris Chuckabee believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Dr. Norris Chuckabee shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
Dr. Norris Chuckabee let the dogs out.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee does know what Willis is talking about!
Dr. Norris Chuckabee don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Dr. Norris Chuckabee.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Dr. Norris Chuckabee's sweat.

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Dr. Norris Chuckabee' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly
button, his liver, and his beard.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
In an emergency, Dr. Norris Chuckabee can be used as a floatation device.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
The speed of light was instituted because Dr. Norris Chuckabee didn't want get winded outrunning it. Dr. Norris
Chuckabee hates to sweat.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can hold his breathe for nine years.
When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Dr. Norris Chuckabee is never the rotten egg.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee invented the question mark.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee has 3 knees on each leg.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows,
and quiet time with his ladyjust before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
If you gave Dr. Norris Chuckabee a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete
Works of Shakespeare
Dr. Norris Chuckabee puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
The helicopter was invented after Dr. Norris Chuckabee was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Dr. Norris Chuckabee. Not to be outdone, Dr. Norris Chuckabee
invented the car accident.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee make onions CRY!!!
Some people say that Dr. Norris Chuckabee is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
When Dr. Norris Chuckabee sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.
Dr. Norris Chuckabee is not only a noun, but a verb.