Chapter 21

Title: Only Human (21/27)

Author: Amethyst Jackson

Rating: M/NC-17
Category: Drama, Angst, Romance
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Summary: A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.
Disclaimer: All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I’m just having a little fun.
A/N: Forgive me?

I woke alone the next morning, still tangled up in the sheets, still completely naked. A moment of
disorientation had me reaching around searching for Edward somewhere in the bed until I saw the
note folded on his pillow.

Bella,

Went to visit Mother. They’re only letting in immediate family for an hour each day; I thought
you’d rather sleep than wait around for me. I’ll be back by eleven.
I love you,

Edward

P.S. Waking up next to you this morning was heavenly. It was nearly impossible to leave.

I smiled to myself, folding the note back up. I hoped I would find him as happy when he returned,
that his mother’s condition hadn’t worsened. Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed, washed up,
and dressed. I felt lazy today, satiated and giddy. Maybe I was wrong to feel happy at a time like
this, but…how could I not be?

I went down to the kitchen and started cooking. I doubted Edward had eaten anything before he
left, without Mary around to cook. I had to wonder how she was as well, if Edward would be able
to see her.

I was halfway finished when the front door opened and shut again. Edward’s voice called out for
me.

“In the kitchen!” I yelled in the general direction of the foyer. He appeared seconds later in the
kitchen doorway. His loud, human footsteps preceded him, refreshingly. He grinned at the sight of
food.

“You’re a godsend, Bella,” he said, coming up to me where I stood at the stove and wrapping his
arms around me from behind. His chin rested easily on my shoulder.

“How is your mother?” I didn’t think he would be this happy if she hadn’t improved, and I was
right.

“She’s much better,” he said. Relief flooded his voice. “Her fever is down enough that she’d lucid.
She talked to me the entire time asking after us. She’s worried we’re not eating enough here. I
think she might recover, Bella.”

I didn’t look at him, afraid to see the hope in his eyes. I couldn’t risk crushing it. “That’s
wonderful news. I told you she was strong,” I said, infusing my voice with as much optimism as I
could.

“I think everything might turn out all right,” he sighed. “I can get back to work soon, and
then…then we can start our life together properly.”

I wanted to cry, but that wasn’t an option. “Food’s done,” I said to distract him.

Edward told me all about his visit with his mother while we ate. I wanted him to be right, for
Elizabeth to survive, but I also knew from Carlisle that she’d lingered on longer than her husband,
trying to take care of her son…and that meant she wasn’t nearly out of danger.

“Did you see Mary?” I asked, needing to change the subject again. I didn’t know how long I could
pretend for Edward.
“She’s right next to mother,” he said as his face fell. “She’s not faring as well.”

I didn’t know there was room for more grief, but it somehow squeezed its way in. “It’s all so
horrible,” I murmured.

“I know,” he said softly. “But remember what you said – we still have each other.”

“Right. That’s the important thing,” I agreed, forcing a smile again. Indeed, we did have each other
– and hopefully, when this was over, I would return to my Edward. But he wouldn’t have the same
luxury, and I felt horribly guilty for it, even if there was nothing I could do to change it.

I cleared my throat, trying to chase away the awkward moment. “So, what would you like to do
today?”

“Actually,” he grinned roguishly, “I was thinking of a nap. I’m still tired from last night.”

If I thought I was finally beyond blushing, I proved myself wrong. “I certainly wouldn’t want to get
in the way of any more of your sleep.”

He chuckled. “Oh, but I would definitely want you to.”

I made a show of rolling my eyes and got up to clear the plates. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get
started on that nap? Maybe if you’re asleep when I join you, you’ll be less tempted to let me
interrupt.”

“Very well,” he laughed, pushing his chair away from the table to stand. “But don’t blame me if I
can’t sleep without you there.”

I smiled until I heard his feet on the stairs, lest he turn back and see my face fall. But as I washed
the dishes, I used the few precious minutes alone to let the tears flow. Why did I have to come
here? Why did I have to watch these people I’d become attached to grow sick and fade away?
Why did I have to watch him suffer? To see the hope disappear from his eyes with each new blow,
only to resiliently emerge once more? Why had fate forced this upon me?

But as I thought over the two months I’d spent in the past, I couldn’t regret. I had been granted an
impossible opportunity – to participate in a part of Edward’s life I had thought I would never
know. Without the strange consequences of my wish, I never would have had the chance to meet
his true parents, never could have heard his mother speak in approval of me. I never would have
known that he hated asparagus or that he had a secret soft spot for the neighbor’s cat. I wouldn’t
have known that his ribs were ticklish or that his eyes really were an extraordinary green. And I
most certainly would never have known that the vampire was still very much the boy.

Without this journey, I realized, I never would have known that I loved Edward in every form, in
every time, in every place. I wouldn’t have the warm reassurance deep in my chest that my
transformation into a vampire could not change his feelings for me…because it could not change
the essence of me.
It could not take away the soul that I knew; now more than ever, Edward very much had – and it
wouldn’t take mine, either.

My wish had been to give Edward the kind of experiences he’d given me, but I finally understood
that I had been sent with a lesson to learn.

The epiphany filled me with a sense of calm, of peace. Though I could not save Edward from what
was to come without doing irreparable damage to my own future, I could go with new
understanding back to my Edward. I could step into eternity with eyes wide open and endeavor to
fill every one of Edward’s days with comfort, peace, and joy.

Suddenly, I felt strong enough. I would do whatever the coming days required of me, because it
was important. It was all for him.

I dried my hands, washed my face, and went upstairs to join Edward.

True to his warning, he was still awake, though just barely. His smile was warm and drowsy as I slid
in next to him under the covers. The weight of his arms around me felt like an anchor that kept
me from drifting too far from the shore.

Exhausted by the whirlwind of emotions, I fell asleep easily in his warmth, with his scent filling my
head and his pulse in my ear.

I dreamed I was with my vampire Edward again, back on my little bed in Charlie’s house. His eyes
were red in this dream, but it didn’t bother me. My subconscious told me there was a good reason.

“I missed you!” I cried, wrapping my arms around his middle. He chuckled, running his fingers
through my hair.

“Likewise.”

“Why is all the furniture gone?” I asked, confused when I didn’t see the familiar shapes of my
rocking chair and desk.

“Silly Bella. You’re dreaming. Those things aren’t important. Focus on the details you do have.”

“I don’t understand.” I was frustrated. We should be kissing by now.

“Look closely at me, Bella,” he murmured; running his hands up and down my arms over the long
sleeves…sleeves that belonged to the dress from 1918 which I still wore for some reason. I looked
back to his red eyes and then down his body. I realized the problem. He was dressed for 1918,
too, in suspenders, sleeves rolled up to the elbows. I frowned. “Did Alice dress you up?”

“It’s almost time, Bella,” he said, ignoring my remark. “I need you to be ready.”

“Ready for what?” I asked. I was already anxious.

“It won’t be easy, but you must do this, Bella. To secure our future together.”

“Do what?” I asked desperately, clutching his shoulders. He wasn’t making sense.

“Please, Bella. Promise me.”

“Edward, I don’t know what you’re asking!” My eyes started to tear up in frustration.

He held my face in his hands, looking intently into my eyes. “You do know. And remember, you
must!”

Edward pulled me to him, kissing me firmly. His lips felt strangely hot, but I didn’t have time to
examine that.

“Please…” His breath was a whisper across my face, and then I woke, gasping.

The room was lit with late-afternoon sun, and I was alone again. Edward’s absence made me
uneasy after that dream. What had he meant, securing our future? What did he want me to do?
And why had he had the red eyes of a vampire who drank human blood? There was no
reason…except for him being a newborn, which…

…Which was exactly what he was? He was right; I did know, but I couldn’t figure it out in the
dream. He wore the clothes of this time and had red eyes because he had just been changed.
And…he wanted me to make it happen. That was the only possible conclusion.

I didn’t know if my dream was really a message from Edward or merely my own subconscious
trying to steer me, but whatever the case, it was the only guidance I had, and it told me to be ready
to let Edward go.

A thud outside the room drew my attention back to waking reality. I jumped out of bed and went
to the hallway, fighting a feeling of dread the entire way.

I found Edward halfway down the stairs, slumped against the wall. Sweat gathered at his temples,
his skin was flushed, his eyes were closed. I put a shaking hand to his forehead, finding it hot and
damp. His eyes opened to meet mine, and they were terrified.

“No,” I choked in spite of myself. Be strong, Bella. He needs you.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” he whispered.

“Hush,” I breathed shakily. “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to take care of you. Wait here. I’ll get
help.”

I felt his eyes on me as I scurried down the stairs to the telephone. It was still daylight. Carlisle
wouldn’t be at the hospital yet.
I picked up the receiver and dialed the only person that could help me now.