N

A
R
C
I
S
S
E
VOLUME 4
ISSUE 3
APRIL/MAY
2008
C The Team
C
R����A�S
2 - Contents
4 - Attention

O
8 - I Think Therefore I BLOG Mandy

O
45 - Lynns Lookout
104 - Style Council Taylor
Editor - in - chief
113 - Style Council - Next Month (Whatever THAT
158 - Birthday Pages means??!!)
166 - Hororscope email -

N N
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk

170 - As Voted
180 - Time To Vote
190 - Adverts Lynn Westlake
199 - And Now... UK Author and
Right-hand Girl,

T
without whom Narcisse
would be nowhere near
as good, full of ideas,
enthusiasm and the
cheek of the devil xxx
�IF�S� �LE
7 - Play safe

E
48 - Fashion - Pretty Cardis and Floaty
Dresses Kaz
66 - Personal Profile - Nails
- Bestest mate a girl
92 - Centrefold - Jennifer Ann Nelson could have - UK
122 - Fashion - Heels Based GG - Author

N N
134 - Personal Profile - Feel The Burn! of “ Personal Profile”
143 - Dont Panic!
188 - Conversion Tables Joanne

- Long-suffering wife

T
of Mandy, roving
F�A�UR�S reporter and general
snoop, the source of
29 - QOTM - Hiding the Girl Within
“ In the paper’s”.
35 - The Secret Dress
62 - Make Some Noise
Janet Smith
82 - Transgender History Part 2 - our newest intern, and
100 - TGaming(NEW) producer of our front
covers
Studio “A” Photography
janetcd1@yahoo.com

2 www.studioaphotography.biz
www.myspace.com/studioaphotography2006
C
T�UE �IFE Lisa-Gayle
5 - Letters To The Editor
- US based writer,
20 - One Girls Story - Jamie Renae Author of "Across
60 - In The Papers

O
Golden Pond" an ex-
pats view of life in the
116 - Ask The Girls
States!
132 - FACEBOOK IS HERE!!
181 - Helplines

Nicola James

N
- UK based writer,
one of the ‘girls’ in
“Ask The Girls”, and
a VERY good friend
��ST �OR ��N ( even though she is
10 - The Americans Guide to Speaking Scottish hehe )

T
English
139 - Cartoon
140 - Top Tips Drew Nield-
Massey

E
- UK Based Writer
and all-round good
egg, Author of the
Hororscope
C��PE�I����S
58 - Black and White Competition Winner

N
72 - Rock Chick Competition Entrants Centrefold
81 - Next months Competiton - Jeans
114 - Basque In Glory Competition Winner - Jennifer Ann Nel-
148 - Go On , Be A Sport Competition En- son
trants

T
156 - Tammis Torments
187 - Quiz Answers

One Girls
Story

- Jamie Renae

Guest Writer
3 - Gloria Glamourpuss
Well then. some of the more ob-
servant of you ‘may’ have noticed
a slight difference in the set-up
where Competitions are concerned,
not much, but let me explain. The
pictures of competitors will still ap-
pear here, in the magazine, and
also on my Yahoo group ( http://
groups.yahoo.com/group/lilbou-
tique/ ). The only real difference is
that now you vote HERE! You will
find the voting section on this site
, so no more need to troupe off to
lilboutique to vote - easy huh?!
All pictures for the subsequent com-
petitions can still be sent to me at
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
as well as any enquiries, so get
entering/voting/etc etc hehe

ATTENTION!!!
4
to
the
Editor
Following on from this letter last issue........

“The word NARCISSE is a derivative of the term narcissism - to be enamored of one’s own reflection, the trait of excessive and self destructive
self-love. This concept, when applied to our people, has always irritated me at best, and insulted and angered me in the extreme. It implies that we
are what we are due to a basic self-centeredness, a psychological deviation, a single-minded, monopathic self obsession. Frankly, We are what we
are because of hormonal imballance. What we see in the mirror is confusing, and thouugh we might be drawn to it, like a moth to a flame, we are
not caught there by self-centeredness. We are no less participating, contributing members of society than any other. We see what is beautiful and
self fulfilling, but denied us by society. The schism is facinating... happiness just out of reach. To allow someone to categorize us as self centered is
wrong, and a conceptualization that must be destroyed. This is about as useful to our cause as the turn-of-the-century drawings of us demonstrating
a preclusion for bondage, whips, chains... We are no more driven to this by masochism than we are by narcissm. Gain some self respect! How can
society give us acceptance us if we don’t respect ourselves?”

“ Mandy, I hope you take no notice of any detractors. They invariably have ‘issues’ and/or
personal problems that comes out as written rubbish. They cannot stand anothers success, so it
must be faulted. Please ignore them. You’ve done a fantastic job with Narcisse, and if anyone
does not like it or the mags name, I’d remind them that like all of us, they have a key on their
PC thats spelt D,E,L,E,T,E . Hugs Gina “

“Thanks for the great magazines”

Otis

5
Just started viewing mag and my first thoughts are do you ever sleep, must take ages. Found
bit about discrimination towards transgen most interesting as suffered a bit of verbal crap
a few months ago from a neighbour, nothing major but was told to report it to cops, took
ages doing statements from myself and witnesses and all for for the case to be dropped be-
cause of witnesses i had were so say friends. As a result neighbour thought it was party
time and the insults flowed like water, felt like ramming his teeth down his throat.

Things with him and his family have since calmed down, however a couple of weeks ago a group
of kids from round the corner asked if i was bi sexual, made the fatal mistake of saying do
i fucking look like it and one replied yeah cos of the trousers i wear (actually leggins).
Now i should of just laughed and walked away but i found myself threatening to kick the liv-
ing daylights out of all four of them, one of them actually said “if you know whats good
for you, your walk away” must be all of 14 and still showing umbillical cord. Did manage to
get one on his own and advised him not to go out alone at night in not so many words, funny
thing is when i saw him he was carrying man bag and wearing pink gloves!!!and im the fucking
one whos bi sexual??

For a couple of weeks i just found myself thinking i should just leave my wife and be on my
own as its not fare that they have to put up with the same crap i do, however had a good old
chat to wife and she bascially make me see sense. Just pisses me off i keep myself to my-
self, play footy with most of the kids in the street and all i ever seem to get is frowned
upon, just gets on my tits sometimes.

Anyway hope alls well with you.

Shell

Just finished reading the latest issue of Narcisse. Wow! I cannot imagine the amount
of time & effort that went into producing it. Excellent. Everything is so beautifully
presented. Great job. My congratulations to you and everyone else who had a part in
it’s production.

Hugs

Lena

I love the latest Narcisse magazine very much and I do read them or most of them as
often as I can. The work put into it is obvious by the content and thought which
comes out. Mandy, you are great and so is your magazine.

Sidney

6
 PO IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTAN

P
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IM

T IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR

ROTECT YOUR IDENTITY Do not reveal information which could expose
your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone
number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into
revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for identifying information,
cut off communication. Do not feel obligated to be more open than you are comfortable being. Contact the
administrator of the website if you have concerns.

L
ET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Be sure that someone knows where you’re going and when to expect you back.

A
LWAYS TAKE A PHONE AND YOUR FARE HOME If you have
a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of
personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with,
don’t hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does
can obligate you to compromise your own safety.

YOUR SAFER IN A CROWD

member, there is safety in numbers!
intimate one on one meetings put you at a huge risk, re-

S
TAY IN PUBLIC PLACES erm...................DUH!!!!

A
VOID TOO MUCH ALCOHOL All drinks can be spiked, but it only takes a few too many
drinks for you to lose your inhibitions and agree to things you will later regret, a clear head nearly always lead
to a clear conscience.

F
EELINGS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE, TRUST INTUITION If you feel
uneasy about someone you’ve met online, err on the side of caution. It’s probably better to miss a few good
experiences than to have one bad one.

E
NJOY!!! 99% of the time you will be safe and have a great time, but for the sake of that 1% always err
on the side of caution, remember, if they are serious they will arrange to meet again, if they dont , it wasnt
worth the risk! xxxx7

TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR 7

I T���� , ����ef��� I
BLOG

8
Oh gawd! here we go again! So much to write and so little time! Well,
thats not strictly true, but you get the gist...
So, what do you want to talk to me about?.....yes?...
Yes ..you.
Why should I always be the one to start the ball rolling? oooohhhhh go on
then, if I have to......
Right then, this week I have mostly been eating...
CHOCOLATE!

Yes, dear reader, I am one of those great fortunates who can eat their en-
tire body weight in chocolate on a daily basis, and not put on an ounce
( hateful aren’t we!). At work they are astounded at the sheer VOLUME
of food i consume, my packed lunches are a stuff of legends, and as one
they cry “ she must have hollow legs” and the like.

S’not my fault, I eat a fairly balanced diet, I mean....a pack of fruit pas-
tilles DOES give me 5 of my daily 8 fruit and veg........doesn’t it? and
theres the jam tarts! another 2, and if you count the yoghurt then I am
quids in ! 8 out of 8 and thankyou very much!

....And then theres your dairy too! said yoghurt is one! Cheese in my
sarnies - 2 ! SEE!! never been so healthy! AND roughage in the way of
bread.......and..... crisps.........SEE!! LOADS of the stuff!

Dont know what their bleating about...... although they did once do
a calorie count on my bag of goodies and...well....so.....3500 calories
IS....somewhat on the large side BUT I’m a growing girl!! What do you
want me to do - STARVE???

Giggle

Mandy xx
9
The American’s Guide To Speaking English

10
Slang...
Ace - If something is ace it is brilliant. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill.

Aggro - Short for aggravation, it’s the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words - trouble!
There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut!

All right? - This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, “Hello, how are you”? You would say it to a
complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say “All right”? back to you. It is
said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to “all right mate”? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also
common among younger people.

Any road - Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say “any road”! Weird huh?

Arse - This is a word that doesn’t seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder.
It is used in phrases like “pain in the arse” (a nuisance) or I “can’t be arsed” (I can’t be bothered) or you might hear
something was “a half arsed attempt” meaning that it was not done properly.

Arse about face - This means you are doing something back to front.

Arse over tit - Another version of arse over elbow, but a bit more graphic!

Arsehole - Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language.

Arseholed - Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered “completely
arseholed”. Never me, of course!

Ass - Your backside, but mostly a donkey!

Baccy - Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own.

Bang - Nothing to do with your hair - this is a rather unattractive way of describing having sex. Always gets a smile
from Brits in American hair dressers when they are asked about their bangs.

Barmy - If someone tells you that you’re barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy. For example you’d have to
be barmy to visit England without trying black pudding!

Bees Knees - This is the polite version of the dog’s bollocks. So if you are in polite company and want to say that
something was fabulous, this phrase might come in handy.

Belt up - For some reason I heard this quite a lot as a kid. It’s the British for shut up.

Bender - I used to go out on a bender quite frequently when I was at university. Luckily bender doesn’t only mean
a gay man, it also means a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session. The sort of bender I went out on was the second
kind. Obviously!

Bite your arm off - This is not aggressive behaviour that a football fan might engage in. In fact it just means that
someone is over excited to get something. For instance you might say that kids would bite your arm off for an ice
cream on a sunny day.

Bladdered - This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. The link is fairly apparent I feel!

11
Bleeding - An alternative to the word bloody. You’ll hear people say “bleeding hell” or “not bleeding likely” for
example.

Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say “Gawd Blimey” or “Gor Blimey” or even “Cor
Blimey”. It is all a corruption of the oath God Blind Me.

Blinding - If something is a blinding success - it does not mean that any eyes were poked out with sharp sticks - it
means it was fantastic.

Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. “bloody
hell” or “bloody nora”. Something may be “bloody marvellous” or “bloody awful”. It is also used to emphasise
almost anything, “you’re bloody mad”, “not bloody likely” and can also be used in the middle of other words to
emphasise them. E.g. “Abso-bloody-lutely”! Americans should avoid saying “bloody” as they sound silly.

Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody. You might hear someone say “not blooming likely” so that they
don’t have to swear.

Blow me - When an English colleague of mine exclaimed “Blow Me” in front of a large American audience, he
brought the house down. It is simply an exclamation of surprise, short for “Blow me down”, meaning something
like I am so surprised you could knock me over just by blowing. Similar to “Well knock me down with a feather”. It
is not a request for services to be performed.

Blow off - Who blew off? Means who farted? Constant source of amusement to us Brits when you guys talk about
blowing people off. Conjours up all sort of bizarre images!

Bob’s your uncle - This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that’s it! For
example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell
them to boil the condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base, slice bananas on top, add
some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob’s your uncle!

Bodge - We bodge things all the time here. I’m sure you do too! To do a bodge job means to do a quick and dirty.
Make it look good for the next day or two and if it falls down after that - hey well we only bodged it! Applies to
building, DIY, programming and most other things.

Bogey - Booger. Any variety, crusty dragons included!

Bollocks - This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means testicles but is
typically used to describe something that is no good (that’s bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he’s talking
bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you
would describe it as being “the dog’s bollocks”. Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering
specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh?

Bomb - If something costs a bomb it means that it is really expensive. We say it when we see the price of insurance
in the US, you could try saying it when you see how much jeans or petrol cost over here!

Bonk - Same meaning as shag. Means to have sex. E.g. “Did you bonk him/her?”.

12
Bottle - Something you have after twenty pints of lager and the curry. A lotta bottle! This means courage. If you
have a lotta bottle you have no fear.

Brassed off - If you are brassed off with something or someone, you are fed up. Pissed off perhaps.

Brill - Short for “brilliant”. Used by kids to mean cool.

Budge up - If you want to sit down and someone is taking up too much space, you’d ask them to budge up - move
and make some space.

Bugger - This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like bloody it has many uses apart
from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting “bugger”
when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something.
Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be
“bugger it”. It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we’re buggered) or if you
were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery
my mate called me a “lucky bugger”.

Bugger all - If something costs bugger all, it means that it costs nothing. Meaning it is cheap. If you have bugger
all, it means you have nothing.

Bum - This is the part of your body you sit on. Your ass! It might also be someone who is down and out, like
a tramp. You might also bum around, if you are doing nothing in particular, just hanging out. Finally to bum
something means to scrounge it from someone.

Bung - To bung something means to throw it. For example a street trader might bung something in for free if you
pay cash right now! Or you could say “bung my car keys over, mate”.

Butchers - To have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has
become common. The reason “butchers” means a look even though it doesn’t rhyme is because it is short for
“butchers hook” and “hook” of course, does rhyme.

Camp - Someone who displays effeminate or gay behaviour is somewhat camp. And to “camp it up” would be to
dress in drag.

Chat up - To chat someone up is to try and pick them up. If you spotted a scrummy girly in a bar you might try to
chat her up. Or a girl might try and chat up a chap!

Cheeky - “Eee you cheeky monkey” was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means
you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky
if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in
American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!!

Cheers - This word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings.
For example when saying goodbye you could say “cheers”, or “cheers then”. It also means thank you. Americans
could use it in English pubs, but should avoid the other situations as it sounds wrong with an American accent.
Sorry!

13
Chuffed - You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something.

Cock up - A cock up means you have made a mistake. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body.

Cockney rhyming slang - There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically
rhyming words like “butchers hook” which means “look”. If you are in London and you hear someone talk about a
Septic they are probably talking about you - because it’s short for “Septic tank” which equals “yank”, which is our
word for an American. How do you like that!

Codswallop - Another one I heard a lot as a kid - usually when I was making up excuses for how the window got
broken or why my dinner was found behind the sofa. My Dad would tell me I was talking a load of codswallop.
American kids might be talking baloney under the same circumstances.

Crap - The same word in both countries - but less rude here. I loved watching Brits being interviewed on US chat
shows and embarrassing the interviewer when they said something was “total crap”.

Crusty dragon - A booger. One of the really crispy ones.

Daft - My Dad used to call me a daft ‘apeth which is short for a daft half penny (in old money). It basically means
stupid.

Doddle - Something that is a doddle is a cinch, it’s easy. Unlike ordering water in Texas with an English accent,
which is definitely not a doddle!

Dodgy - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home,
or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may
have been nicked. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy
and should be avoided!

Dog’s bollocks - You would say that something really fantastic was the dog’s bollocks. Comes from the fact that a
dog’s bollocks are so fantastic that he can’t stop licking them! Nice huh? Often shortened to just “The dog’s”.

Dog’s dinner - If you make a real mess of something it might be described as a real dog’s dinner. A bit like some
joint Anglo-American approaches to Eastern Europe for example!

Donkey’s years - Someone said to me the other day that they hadn’t seen me for donkey’s years. It means they
hadn’t seen me for ages.

Excuse me - This is a great one! It’s what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. We are also taught to say
“pardon me” if we fart out loud. Unfortunately in American “excuse me” means you are encroaching in someone’s
personal space and you say “pardon me” when you don’t hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we
discovered that actually Americans are not belching and farting all the time.

Fanny - This is the word for a woman’s front bits! One doesn’t normally talk about anyone’s fanny as it is a bit
rude. You certainly don’t have a fanny pack, or smack people on their fannys - you would get arrested for that!
Careful use of this word in the UK is advised!

Fanny around - I’m always telling people to stop fannying around and get on with it. It means to procrastinate.
Drives me mad!

14
Fit - Fit is a word that I have heard a lot recently - it seems to be making a comeback. A fit bird means a girl who is
pretty good looking or tasty! A fit bloke would be the male equivalent.

Flog - To Flog something is to sell it. It also means to beat something with a whip, but when your wife tells you she
flogged the old TV it is more likely she has sold it than beaten it (hopefully!).

Fluke - If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke. When I was a kid my Mum lost her
engagement ring on the beach and only realised half way home. We went back to the spot and she found it in the
sand. That was a fluke.

Flutter - I like to have a flutter on the horses. It means to have a bet, usually a small one by someone who is not a
serious gambler.

Gander - When I was a kid, my Dad often used to go off for a gander when we were visiting a new town or village.
It means to look around.

Get lost! - Politely translated as go away, this is really a mild way of telling someone to f*** off!

Get stuffed! - Even politer way to tell someone to get lost is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a
nice thing to say to someone.

Give us a bell - This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word “us” to mean “me”.

Goolies - If you have been kicked in the goolies, your eyes would be watering and you would be clutching your
balls!

Grub - Food. Similar to nosh. I remember my Dad calling “grub’s up”, when dinner was ready as a kid. A grub is
also an insect larva. Not usually eaten in England. Actually is available in some Australian restaurants!

15
Gutted - If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told
that you have just failed your driving test!

Hanky panky - Hanky panky - or “slap and tickle” as some older folks call it - would be making out in America.

Hard - After your 20 pints of lager, the curry or the doner, your average 20 year old feels hard. Since his male
organ has no chance of working at this stage, hard clearly refers to something else - it means he is ready to fight
anything or anybody or to take on any bet. This is the time to make fun of drunken lads by betting them they can’t
jump off the end of the pier, hang on to the back of a bus etc.

Her Majesty’s pleasure - When visiting England, try to avoid being detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure. This
means being put in prison with no release date!

Hiya - Short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello.

Honking - Honking is being sick or throwing up. Presumably this is a problem in New York where there are signs
on the streets that say “No Honking”.

How’s your father? - This is a very old term for sex which plays on our apparent British sensitivity. Rather than
saying the actual “sex” word you could refer to having a bit of How’s your Father, instead - nudge, nudge, wink,
wink. The sort of old fashioned saying dragged up by Austin Powers.

Hump - If you have got the hump it means you are in a mood. If you are having a hump, it means you are having
sex. Care is advised when you try using these words for the first time. It could be embarrassing!

Irony/sarcasm - The cornerstones of British humour. This is one of the biggest differences between the nations.
The sense of humour simply doesn’t translate too well.

Jammy - If you are really lucky or flukey, you are also very jammy. It would be quite acceptable to call your friend
a jammy b****rd if they won the lottery.

Khazi - Another word for the toilet. Our version of your bathroom.

Kip - A short sleep, forty winks, or a snooze. You have a kip in front of the telly on a Sunday afternoon.

Knackered - The morning after twenty pints and the curry, you’d probably feel knackered. Another way to describe
it is to say you feel shagged. Basically worn out, good for nothing, tired out, knackered.

Knees up - If you’re having a knees up, you’re going to a dance or party.

Knob - Yet another word for your willy.

Knockers - Another word for breasts.

Knuckle sandwich - If somebody offers you a knuckle sandwich you’d be best to decline the offer and leave at the
next convenient moment. It isn’t some British culinary delight - they’re about to thump you in the face.

Love bite - You call them hickies - the things you do to yourself as a youngster with the vacuum cleaner attachment
to make it look like someone fancies you!

Lurgy - If you have the lurgy it means you are ill, you have the Flu. Don’t go near people with the lurgy in case
you get it!

16
Luvvly-jubbly - Clearly another way of saying lovely. Made famous by the TV show Only Fools and Horses.

Mate - Most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum.

Mug - If someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible. Most used car salesmen rely on a mug to show up so
they can sell something!

Naff - If something is naff, it is basically uncool. Anoraks are naff, salad cream is also naff. You could also use it to
tell someone to naff off, which is a politer way of telling them to f*** off!

Nice one! - If someone does something particularly impressive you might say “nice one”! to them. It is close the
Texan good job that you hear all the time.

Nick - To nick is to steal. If you nick something you might well get nicked.

Nicked - Something that has been stolen has been nicked. Also, when a copper catches a burglar red handed he
might say “you’ve been nicked”!

Nookie - Nookie is the same as hanky panky. Something you do with your bird!

Nowt - This is Yorkshire for nothing. Similarly owt is Yorkshire for anything. Hence the expression “you don’t
get owt for nowt”. Roughly translated as “you never get anything for nothing” or “there’s no such thing as a free
lunch”.

On about - What are you on about? That’s something you may well hear when visiting the UK. It means what are
you talking about?

On the piss - If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to get pissed.

On your bike - A very polite way of telling someone to f*** off.

Pants - This is quite a new expression - I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, it is now quite trendy to say
that something which is total crap is “pants”. For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was “total
pants”.

Pardon me - This is very amusing for Brits in America. Most kids are taught to say “pardon me” if they fart in
public or at the table etc. In America it has other meanings which take us Brits a while to figure out. I thought I was
surrounded by people with flatulence problems!

Pear shaped - If something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. It might be preparing a dinner
party or arranging a meeting, any of these things can go completely pear shaped.

Piece of cake - I remember saying it’s a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends, who then started
looking around for the cake! It means it’s a cinch!

Piss up - A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub. There is an English expression to describe someone as
disorganised which says that he/she could not organise a piss up in a brewery!

Pissed - This is a great one for misunderstanding. Most people go to the pub to get pissed. In fact the object of a
stag night is to get as pissed as possible. Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That
would be getting pissed off!

17
Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local. It
has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered.

Porkies - More cockney rhyming slang. Short for “porky pies”, meaning “pork pies”. Rhymes with lies. My
Mum always used to tell me I was telling porkies! And she was right!

Posh - Roughly translates as high class, though if you look at Posh Spice there are clearly exceptions to the rule!
Comes from the cabins used by the upper class on early voyages from England to India. The coolest (and most
expensive cabins) were Port side on the way Out and Starboard on the way Home.

Potty - This isn’t just the thing you sit a toddler on - if you are potty it means you are a little crazy, a bit of a
looney, one card short of a full deck.

Prat - Yet another mildly insulting name for someone. In fact, this one is a bit ruder than pillock so you probably
wouldn’t say it in front of Grandma.

Pukka - This term has been revived recently by one of our popular young TV chefs. It means super or smashing,
which of course is how he describes all his food.

Pull - Me and the lads used to go to the disco when we were on the pull. It means looking for birds. Of course,
it works the other way round too. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the
chaps!

Put a sock in it - This is one way of telling someone to shut up. Clearly the sock needs to be put in their loud
mouth!

Quid - A pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in America. A five pound note
is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner.

Really - This is one of those words where you say almost the same thing as us, but just can’t be fagged to finish
it off. The word is “really”, not real. You say things like it’s real hot, something’s real cool, a baby is real cute. If
we said that we would be sent to the back of the class for our grammar - or lack of it!

18
Round - When you hear the words “your round” in the pub, it means it is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone
in the group - nothing to do with the size of your tummy! Since beers are more and more expensive these days, the
art of buying the rounds has developed into ensuring you buy the first one before everyone has arrived, without
being obvious!

Row - Rhymes with “cow” this means an argument. You might hear your Mum having a row with your Dad, or
your neighbours might be rowing so loud you can hear them!

Rubbish - The stuff we put in the bin. Trash or garbage to you. You might also accuse someone of talking rubbish.

Sad - This is a common word, with the same meaning as naff. Used in expressions like “you sad b***ard”.

Skive - To skive is to evade something. When I was a kid we used to skive off school on Wednesdays instead of
doing sports. We always got caught of course, presumably because the teachers used to do the same when they were
fourteen!

Slapper - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose. A bit like a slag or a tart. Probably also translates into tramp in
American.

Slash - Something a lager lout might be seen doing in the street after his curry - having a slash. Other expressions
used to describe this bodily function include; siphon the python, shake the snake, wee, pee, piss, piddle and having
a jimmy.

Smeg - This is a rather disgusting word, popularised by the TV show, Red Dwarf. Short for smegma, the dictionary
definition says it is a “sebaceous secretion from under the foreskin”. Now you know why it has taken me 3 years to
add it in here. Not nice! Rather worryingly smeg is also the name of a company that makes ovens!!!

Sod - This word has many uses. My father always used to say “Oh Sod!” or “Sod it!” if something went wrong and
he didn’t want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an “old sod” then it means they are
a bit of a bastard or an old git. “Sod off” is like saying “piss off” or “get lost” & “sod you” means something like
“f*** off”. It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference!

Sod all - If you are a waiter in America and you serve a family of Brits, the tip is likely to be sod all or as you
would call it - nothing. Because we don’t know about tipping.

Sod’s law - This is another name for Murphy’s law - whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Sorted - When you have fixed a problem and someone asks how it is going you might say “sorted”. It’s also
popular these days to say “get it sorted” when you are telling someone to get on with the job.

Spend a penny - To spend a penny is to go to the bathroom. It is a very old fashioned expression that still exists
today. It comes from the fact that in ladies loos you used to operate the door by inserting an old penny.

Ta - We said “ta” as kids in Liverpool for years before we even knew it was short for thanks.

Taking the piss - One of the things Americans find hardest about the Brits is our sense of humour. It is obviously
different and is mainly based on irony, sarcasm and an in-built desire to “take the piss”. This has nothing to do with
urine, but simply means making fun of someone.

And on that note ......

19
One Girl’s Story.... Jamie Renae
I discovered the pleasures of female clothing somewhere
between 10 - 12 years old. It was a full slip that my mother
had left in the bathroom. All I had to do was slide it over my
bare legs to discover the pleasures of nylon.

From there I started experiencing the thrill of sneaking

into her closet and just sitting on the floor underneath the
collection of dresses. I would run my hands over the material
and get completely aroused. Several years later I had rescued
some of the “give away” clothes and stashed them in the
bottom of a drawer in my bedroom. When the opportunity
arose, I would lock the door and put on the dress or blouse,
letting the fabric fall over my shoulders. I got pretty good at
sewing up the garments by hand, so that they would fit better.
During High School I managed to rescue a few items that my
girlfriends would leave in my car. I was still small enough to
slip them on.
After entering the Military, I got married for the first time. That is when things began to gain
momentum. I was starting to get quite a collection of women’s clothes. They were mostly used things
that I had picked out of Salvation Army, Goodwill and D.A.V boxes. I kept everything stashed in a
cardboard barrel that had a locking lid. My first wife didn’t ever know about my habits, as far as I
know. I am sure that my oldest son would know if he could remember that far back. He was less than
two years old when his daddy would strut around the bedroom in a dress.

After leaving the Military, I had another son, and got divorced. Those were tough times. I lived by
myself for a while so I was able to enjoy my wardrobe. After I met my second wife, I decided I could
stop dressing and threw away all that I had collected. So much for that plan, within a couple of years
I started to slip into my wife’s clothes when she was gone. It was pretty easy, she worked days and I
worked nights. I also started to buy some new things of my own, including a wig. One evening my
wife decided, for whatever reason, to put makeup on me. I was ecstatic inside. From that time on
things progressed. I finally told her about my desires. She didn’t handle it very well. That pretty well
ended that marriage.

I was back on my own again, with a very sizable wardrobe. I had been introduced to makeup and
wigs. Being an amateur photographer I proceeded to make a photo history. It was really scary
looking at those early pictures. Before long I had met another very nice woman. This time, I told her
up front about my desires. She didn’t seem to be moved much either way. We got married a couple of
years later. I again thought that I would be able to stop dressing, and pretty well destroyed my whole
wardrobe. I still miss some of the things I lost in that purge.

20
As time passed, the lure of the closet overwhelmed me.
My wife had a good selection of nice clothes. I also started
to buy new things again. Being in a job that required a
security clearance, I was very careful to keep my dressing
securely inside. My wife was getting accustomed to
seeing my female wardrobe in our closet. I also started
wearing a nightgown to bed every night. When we both
went out of town, I would take a couple of outfits along.
I got to put on a skirt, blouse, slip, bra and panties after a
visit to the hot tub. (I had to get dressed in something). As
time passed I gave my alter ego a name. Jamie Renae had
a very nice ring to it, plus it matched my initials. I could
actually sign my femme name so it looked like my real
name, no middle name used. I continued in this fashion
for several years.

One night, during one of my wife’s out of town trips, I

was surfing the Internet, looking for wigs. In the search
results was a site for Transgendered. Pandora’s box flew
open. I started reading the web sites of many T.G.s. I
soon discovered that I was not alone in the world of
crossdressing. There was another Jamie in my town. I
emailed her and set up a meeting. We finally arranged to
meet at another girl’s apartment (Lisa). Other than driving
down to the video store at 5:00 in the morning, this would
be my first time out as Jamie Renae. I was soooo nervous
I could hardly get my nails on. That first meeting was one
of the major highlights in my life. I was among friends and
sisters. What a feeling of relief. The group I got introduced
to was a mixture of Pre and post op Transsexuals and male
to female and female to male crossdressers. A wonderful
and very supportive group of ladies and gentlemen. To this
day I think of them often.

My wife was not a happy person when she found out that
I had gone out in public enfemme. There were some tough
conversations. She finally saw that I was not going to
leave and become a full-fledged woman.
I finally got her to come with me to a support meeting; I went in “boy mode”. She got her first look
at the rest of the TG world. After that we managed to go out with Lisa and Jamie a couple of times to
dinner. What a blast it was to be out on the town with other TG girls.

Alas, change is a constant. We retired from our jobs and moved to NW Arkansas. Saying goodbye to
my Sisters was a hard thing to do. We have found a TriEss group in Springfield Mo. (Sigma Mu) that
supports couples. I think my wife has come to grips with Jamie. She still rolls her eyes sometimes
when I come out of the bedroom completely dressed.

21
I have come to the point now that I want to be of assistance to others that are trying to come to grips
with their “Femme self”. All I can offer is a good ear and maybe some insights related to my past
experiences.

If you have managed to read this complete story, God bless you. If there are any questions that you
may have, please don’t hesitate to ask. I can assure you that anything said will stay confidential. I
know what a wrong word to the wrong person can do to marriages and careers.

Jamie sent me such wonderful stories that I felt that we should continue,
so here you are xx (Ed)
Since I have moved to Northwest Arkansas, things have been moving along at a pretty good clip.
After joining Sigma Mu and starting to attend meetings in Springfield Mo. I have gotten involved in
TriEss to a much larger extent. Rachael was an inspiration to me, in a sense. She was the leader of
the group when I joined. She was a very nice person, in boy and girl mode She was also very nice
looking and quite passable.

It wasn’t long until I was really enjoying my newfound Sisters. Another Sister, Jay, and I decided
to go to Houston Texas, for our first Holiday Enfemme. This is an annual TriEss convention where
you get to stay a girl for four days. We stayed at a very plush hotel in Houston Texas. There were a
whole bunch of “Ladies” there. I found that most Cross Dressers were very nice people. I met one in
particular that would eventually change my life. After spending 4 days as Jamie I had to get back into
Boy mode and go home. That was a minor letdown, but it was still quite an experience.

After Houston, I was determined to improve my appearance, it seems like a life long effort. I
continued attending meetings at Springfield and working on my ‘ladylike presentation”. I was still
doing pictures and videos to see how I looked out of my “minds eye”. A video camera is a very good
tool. I was able to walk and talk as a girl, I was getting pretty good at it. I also was able to model all
of my outfits, so that I could see how they really looked. I still do that to this day.

22
 In Nov 2000 I decided to attend a different
convention. There was an event called Fall Harvest
2000 in St. Louis Mo. This was not a TriEss function.
It was a more “open” event for Cd’ and Ts’s. I drove
to St. Louis, in boy mode, and met up with a new
Sister from Long Island. This was to be her first time
out in public. We ended up having a BLAST. Barbara
really had a great time. So did Jamie. I even met a girl
that I had known in Colorado.

The following spring, my wife and I decided to

hit the road and see some more of the Country. We
started out in S.E. Texas in our motor home. We
were close to Houston, so we decided to pay a visit
to the TriEss group there. We went to a meeting and
my wife got to meet several other wives and their
husbands. These were very nice people. I think that
she had a major change of heart that weekend. Since
then she has been a lot more participative with Jamie.

After Texas we went to Colorado to spend the

rest of the summer. I met another CD there and we
got to know each other some. Before long Tootsey
and I were headed to Denver to do some shopping
and having dinner. We were very well received by
everyone we came in contact with. At one restaurant
we had finished eating and were taking each other’s
when the gentleman in the next booth offered to take a picture of us together. As I was waiting for
Tootsey to finish in the ladies room I noticed a woman staring at me. I looked her in the eye and
gave her a big smile, which she returned. Tootsey and I spent a lot of time together that summer. I
think we both got a lot more comfortable with our Femme selves. I credit those days for where I am
now.

After we returned from Colorado our next event was “Holiday Enfemme” in Chicago. This time
my wife went with me. Jamie got to drive from NW Arkansas to Chicago. That was a very exciting
drive. We checked into the hotel and had another great 4 days. We met up with some other couples
we had met earlier and had a very nice time.

During the summer we had arranged to take a cruise around the Caribbean for 7 days. We were part
of a 20-person group of CDs, some with spouses, on a Ship of about 2200 people. Jamie drove to
Galveston and stayed enfemme for the whole cruise, except for the times we went ashore in Mexico
and Grand Caymen. Even with the increased security, after 9-11, I was not given any trouble
traveling as Jamie.

23
 Just prior to the cruise, I started a new phase of my femme self. I had the opportunity to start giving
“Outreach” presentations at The University of Arkansas. I visited my first class in late November of
2001. Since that time I have continued to visit two different classes at the University. This has had a
major effect on my confidence. I have come to a point where I can just take a day and go into town
and shop or get a wig worked on without worrying about getting made. It just isn’t an issue anymore.
I do love it when a sales clerk says ”thank you m’am” or Ms …… I have never had anyone say
anything negative, or had a negative experience. It seems that people just are not paying attention, that
much.

I spent the summer of 2003 in Colorado again and Tootsey and Jamie had another great time,
shopping and dining. We even got together with two other girls and played a round of golf. Had a
great time, until the afternoon storms chased us off the course.

I guess this all leads up to me telling you that it is not a “Jungle” out there, as long as you think like
a woman and stay out of places that you shouldn’t be in. Being out in public, dressed appropriately, is
absolutely the most fun a CD can have.

I will continue to grow as a person. I feel that Jamie has helped me find that “center of balance” that
I have been missing for so long. I do feel that any Transgender person can do the same.

24
 Cruiser Test

On Wednesday the 29th, Jamie did another first. I had gone into Fayetteville to get some
after Christmas business done and while I was in town, I decided to go visit a car dealership. My
Wife and I have been discussing replacing the Honda, that we tow behind the Motorhome and I
also drive on a daily basis. She had mentioned a PT Cruiser, instead of another Honda. Since I had
never set in one, much less driven one, I wanted to go see what they were like. So Jamie goes to the
local Chrysler dealer and parks the car . She then walks down the line of new cars to the Cruisers.
A salesman approached and introduced himself. I ask him if these were the new Cruisers and he
replied that they were. He then smiled real big and asked me my name. I told him my name was
Jamie, and we shook hands. I told him that I was looking for the used (pre-owned) Cruisers. He led
me back to the other lot and proceeded to show me the inventory. We chatted about car things, like,
was the Honda paid for, and was I wanting to trade it. He also explained that he had lived in Las
Vegas for some years, prior to coming to NWA. During all of this idle gossip, he showed me all of
the different options and equipment on the Cruisers. He then asks me if I would like to drive one,
so I said yes. Since I had never been in one before. He drove it to the front of the showroom and let
me get in the drivers seat, after adjusting the seat and holding the door for me. We took off and I
gave it a good test drive (without acting too much like a Man), I ask questions about the operation
of different equipment and he was very good at answering my questions. After I parked the Cruiser
back beside my Honda, he ask me what I thought and I told him that I was going to go look at the
Hondas before I made a decision. I then got into my Honda and drove away.

From the time that he introduced himself till I closed the door on my car, to leave, he was a
perfect gentleman. I was treated like the Lady I was hoping to portray. Not once did he skip a beat
in our conversation. I feel the he had things figured out (pretty well) but was not going to ask, just
in case he might be wrong. His actions were those of a very dedicated car salesman. I am sure that
he would have set down with me and arranged all of the necessary papers for a purchase, if I was so
inclined.

This episode was just more justification that shows that we can be out in public, as long as
we are dressed appropriately, and behave in a lady like manner. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I guess the
next episode will be when I go back, in Boy mode, to purchase something, if I decide to. That would
be the “True Test” of a dedicated salesman.

As an added note, I did end up buying a PT Crusier. It was from a different dealer, due to a
very good bargain. J.R.

25
 First Time Outreach
Fall 2001

It all started with a strong desire to help others get through what I had
just come through a few years earlier. After starting a website and getting the first
hits from other cross dressers, I was on my way. I was going to be able to give
something back.

After a time I was introduced to the term “Outreach” . I thought any C.D
that did that had to be very confident with herself. I decided that I would set that
confidence as my new goal.

Some time later, and many outings, I finally found the strength to proceed with
starting my journey in Outreach. To me, it was the best way to let people know that we, as
Cross Dressers, were just regular people that had some different differences than others.

I proceeded to do some research at the University of Arkansas web site.

Since I live in the Fayetteville area, it was the logical starting point. After compiling
a list of Professors in the Psychology and Sociology fields, I drafted a cover letter
explaining what I was wanting to do. There were 26 separate letters that were going
to be mailed to each individual Professor. As I was getting the literature, from Jane
Ellen, put together, all Hell broke loose in New York and the mail became very
unhealthy in some places. I was worried that if the Professors received a letter where
the post mark and return address didn’t match, they might do something counter
productive. I was using the TriEss return address. Such as turning it over to Security
or just trashing it. I decided to send the whole batch to Jane, in Houston, and have the
letters mailed from there.
Of course, during this same time
I was trying to decide on an appropriate
outfit to wear to such an occasion. I had
decided that a “business” type of dress
would be my choice. I already had a couple
of possibilities but my Wife and I were
shopping in Dillard’s at the sale racks and
we found a Plum colored dress and jacket
by Liz Clairborne. It was just what I was
looking for. I got the “approval to purchase”
and took it home with me.

26
 In just a few days after Jane had mailed the letters, I got an Email from her that I had
received a reply from one of the Professors. I emailed the Professor with some questions I had about
her class. She responded very positively and I knew I was on the way.

Since I worked in the area, I decided to do some reconnaissance. I found a few options
for parking and scoped out the building I was going to visit. I finally visited the Professor’s office,
in boy mode, and introduced myself. She was very nice and we had a great chat. Her desire was to
have me visit a Sociology “Families” class before the end of the semester. That was cutting it pretty
close, since I was going to Holiday Enfemme in November, then Thanksgiving was coming up and I
was also going on the Dignity Cruise in early December. That would leave no time afterwards. The
semester would be in finals by the time I got home. I decided that the 27th of November was the only
time I had to make this work, and I wanted to make it work the first time.

By now I was “wound up real tight”. I got all of my presentation printed out on note cards
and TriEss literature sorted out. The 27th was on a Tuesday and the class was at 5 :30 pm. I had
already arranged to take the afternoon off from work ,so that I could get put together. On Monday
the weather took a turn for the worse. They were talking freezing rain by Tuesday evening. On
Monday I stopped by the Professors office and assured her that I would make it if at all possible.
After all, my first time out in Colorado Springs, 3 Y2 years earlier, was in a driving snow storm.
Weather was not going to deter this girl. I did make a change in wardrobe though. I just couldn’t see
me walking down the street in a knee length dress with a cold wind blowing. I elected to wear a pair
of dress slacks with a long sleeved T neck and short vest with a pair of ankle boots, I knew I would
stay warm.

As I was driving into town that evening, I just couldn’t believe I was actually doing this.
I had a good conversation with the “Man upstairs” and thanked him for giving me the strength to
carry this out and keeping the freezing rain away.

I found a close parking place and walked a short walk to the building. There were some
students on the way, but I didn’t have any problems. I got to the Professors office a few minuets
early, so we had some time to get used to each other. The time had finally come, so we headed of to
the classroom.
Fortunately, for me, the class was small, only 10 or 12 students. They had been forewarned, so they
were all there that evening. I introduced myself and we all sat at our desks in a circle facing each
other. There was quite an age span in this class. There were several college age students plus a few
older ladies, one around my age, fiftyish. As I was going through my biography we would stop
and discuss different things. I got very comfortable very quickly. After I had finished, we all had a
question and answer session. I had answers for all of them, much to my amazement The questions
were all very intelligent and varied. I have to say that I was very impressed with these people. Here
we are in the middle of “Razorback Country” and a Cross Dresser was being accepted as “sort of
a regular person”. There was one male student that was pursuing a Law Enforcement major, that
was very impressed and ask some very good questions. I regret to say that I had a “Brain Lapse”
and didn’t ask if he would talk to his Professor and see if I could visit one of the Law Enforcement
classes. I did get several suggestions on other classes that I hadn’t thought of initially. The Professor
was also very impressed, so I will be doing more of her classes in the spring and summer semesters.

27
 I walked out of class with two
young ladies answering more questions as
we walked. They said that they had seen
me crossing the street before class. I have
always said that it is the Girls that make
us first They went on up the street and I
headed to my car. It was dark by then and
I managed to find a hole. As I put my foot
to the bottom of it, I pretty well lost my
Feminine composure. I picked myself up
and checked for grass stains on my slacks
and headed to the car. As I approached the
car I used my remote to unlock the doors.
I set my briefcase in the back seat and
then realized that I didn’t have my purse.
I locked the car and backtracked my steps.
There was my purse where I had stepped
in the hole. I did the feminine thing and
checked the contents for cell phone wallet
and lipstick. This action brought a chuckle. I
guess I fulfilled the role pretty good. I drove
home without any other surprises.

I have to say that that evening

was one of my “Milestones of Life”. If any
of you have ever considered doing Outreach
with an organization, don’t put it off. It is
one of the most important things we can do
to help our Sisters of the future. We all do
small-scale outreach each time we go out
in public, but this kind of coverage is an
investment in the future. It is also a great
confidence builder. I left for Galveston
and the Dignity Cruise with a renewed
confidence. That, of course, is a whole other
story.

28
H
H
the girl within
QOTM

II
D
D
II
N
N
G
G
29
I’ve never written for Narcisse, or any other Trans publication before but when I
received an email from Mandy pleading for someone to step forward and tell stories
of old hiding places I volunteered.

I guess it is something we all have experience of so I’m assuming that many of my

‘secret places’ will sound familiar to others. And those that don’t may prove useful to
others.

When I was younger and living at home with my parents, keeping my clothes hidden
was a real challenge. While I didn’t have many, my wardrobe did grow gradually and
invention was needed.

I began buying (and hiding) clothes from about the age of 12 and initially hid them in
a padlocked sports bag in my wardrobe which was then placed underneath all sorts of
junk.

My wardrobe eventually outgrew this and I discovered a great hiding place in the
bathroom; by removing the bath panel and hiding items in bin liners behind it. No
one ever rumbled that one but again, space was limited.

While the sports bag and the bath were working fine, I now needed another place
and my parents came to the rescue when they donated an old desk to the cause of
my studies. An old style desk with locking drawers which (you guessed it) became by
new, additional hide away.

Soon it was time to head off to university and I had the problem of moving my
clothes to my new, shared home. A big suitcase with all my boy stuff got them out of
the house and I soon had them hidden away in my new place, benefitting from a lock
on my room door.

With the lock on the room door I got a little lazy and started just hanging clothes
in the wardrobe or folding them in drawers. It wasn’t long before I suffered my first
case of ‘discovery’ when I nipped to the toilet leaving my door ajar and one of my
housemates decided to use the moment to pop into my room to borrow something; I
forget what.

When I returned from the loo, he was sitting on my bed with a dirty grin on his face
asking whose the clothes in the wardrobe were. He had obviously figured it out but I
went bright red and blurted out that they were my girlfriends.

Of course, he had never seen me with a girlfriend, much less one that slept over. He
just said “yeah, right” and left my room. To my amazement he never told anyone.

I was soon on the phone to my parents begging them to bring my desk down to help
with my studying and, after much pleading, they agreed. I once again had my locking
drawers.

After graduating I lived in a succession of rented places on my own and had no need
of hiding, the only visitors tending to be boyfriends who (obviously) knew about that
side of me.

30
Things changed in the last couple of years when I have had a live in job and I have
returned to secrecy, remembering how easily a ‘private’ room can be entered by
someone else.

I still have locking drawers but the other ‘weapon of stealth’ that I use is suit bags,
the type you can buy at any dry cleaners. I hang my clothes in the wardrobe in these
with something male at the front, hidden in plain view if you like.

This works fine and keeps my clothes in far better condition. I’m looking for a new job
now, principally because I want my own life back and need to earn enough to pay for
my own place so I can be me when I want.

Wish me luck!

Since my wife is still unaware of my desire to cross dress af-

ter 25 years, I can’t keep my girl stuff at home. So, I have
found an indoor storage facility, where I have plenty of space
to keep everything in a climate controlled locker.

For $16 a month, I have a 4x4x6 locker, where I can hang my

clothes, organize my shoes, and keep everything else in boxes,
ready to go.

I truly recommend a similar arrangement for any girl who has

doubts about keeping her clothes hidden at home. I once stored
my items in the rafters in the garage, but when one of the
slats broke and a bag fell to the ground (luckily my wife was
not at home), I decided to make other arrangements.

I also lost a dear friend about two years ago, when she did not
heed my advise. She had kept her clothes in storage, but due
to the cost, decided to hide them home. Well, within a month,
her spouse caught her dressing at home, found the clothes and
to make a long story short, their marriage ended in a divorce.

So my recommendation for those who are in the same situation

as I am, Play It Safe. Get a storage locker. You will sleep
better at night.

Love,

Carollyn Faith Olson

31
Years ago, when Julie was still deeply closeted and I was hiding “her” from
my spouse, I hid my femme things in a large plastic trash bag in the crawl
space under my house -- and deep inside the space, so nobody could look
in the opening and see things there. (That’s when I felt that the decency
police did cruise through neighborhoods looking for these sorts of things!)
Of course, the contortions I had to go through to shimmy through that little
opening and get to the stuff made it a challenge. Best of all, the field mice
never discovered the nice pile of soft clothing to nest in!

I’ve made it to the big time now, as I have an old chest freezer that I installed
a padlock on to stash stuff there. Even though my spouse discovered Julie
a decade ago, she’s still not accepting, so I adhere to the “out of sight out
of mind” theory. But this is easier to get to and holds quite a lot. The lit-
tle shelf over where the compressor is located is perfect for Styrofoam wig
heads!

Julie Graham
VC 347
Probably the most unique place I hid my
wardrobe was in a small knee wall which
was created when a dormer was added
to the attic and the attic converted to
two bedrooms. it had a light and a bar for
hanging cloths. I put a lock on it. Nothing
obvious like a pad lock but a door knob
with a key lock. Served well until I out
grew it.
Hugs,
Rene’
V.C. 452
I hid my pretties in storage boxes
amidst my back issues of “Air &
Space” and “Flying” magazines.
No one else in the house had the
slightest interest in those publica-
tions ... LOL!

Brenda
VC 491

32
When I was in the Army, I had a Top Secret clearance and
worked with something that made a huge boom. As a result,
our cars, barracks, etc were searched quite often. I had
a little station wagon style car and found that if you
lifted the speakers out of the rear panels there was a
huge amount of space under them. So, I used to hide lots
of stuff inside the molding of my car under the speakers.

Kimberly Huddle
VC 503
In a large trunk.....locked
with only one key (lost the
other)......

Heather Michaels

As a youngster my exposure to the wide & wonderful world of

transgenderism was extremely limited, if not non-existent. I knew
I liked girls clothes but didn’t know enough to realize that that
wasn’t “normal” for little boys. The first time I was able to put this
into any kind of perspective was when a friend gave me a book
describing all kinds of sexual “perversions”. I don’t recall how old
I was but I do recall that, at whatever age, this book seemed like
pretty hot stuff and needed to be well-hidden. I racked my brains,
searched the house for hiding places and eventually ended up in
our finished, carpeted attic where I rolled back the carpet, pried up
a floor board & stashed the book under the floor. Every so often,
I’d go up to the attic, close the door, retrieve my book and learn
some new words. There was a chapter on eonism. It was from
reading this book that I came to realize that I was an “eonist” - the
word that was used back then for transvestite. Possible the book
was written by Havelock Ellis who coined the term eonism after the
Chevalier d’Eon, a French politician who was born a man but lived
much of his life, including the time he spent in the court of Cather-
ine the Great, as a woman. I sometimes wonder if the new owners
of that house ever found the book. As far as I know it’s still there
- 60 (?) years later.
Hugs
Lena
33
 I had clothes hidden all over the place early on.
Later on when I was into old cars I hid my stash
in the trunk of a ‘56 Ford I owned. I told everyone
that I didn’t have the keys to that car so I had no
idea what might be in the trunk since I couldn’t
open it. More recently I used two old steamer
trunks in the attic of my barn. Now that my wife
knows, They’re in a spare closet in the house

Lisa Harris

As a kid, at home my “other me” now my “current

me” was hidden in a tall skinny box in my closet
that I shared with my brother. The top couple of
inches were filled with some of my books that I
knew he’d never have any interest in. Worked
pretty well, till I was about 19 and only coming
home weekends from college and my Mom and
brother decided to do some spring cleaning! Oy.
Later on during marriage number 1 (the nonsup-
porting one) I kept “...me” in 2 large double upped
black plastic leaf bags, stashed in a section of the
cellar that only I ever went into... Not so crafty,
but as Lilly Tomlin used to say... “.. and that’sth
the truththth “.

Linda

In the basement.

The laundry room was unfinished. The family room was.

At the top of the wall in the laundry room, between some wall
studs,
between two joist and on top of the “ceiling” to the family room.

One, my wife would never think of looking there and two, it re-
quired a
step ladder to access..

Gianna

34
At Sparkle 2008 I enjoyed a drink and a chat with Audrey Hepburn. Obviously
not the original, this Audrey Hepburn name and would-be dress-alike, is a
6’6” unemployed security worker, build like the proverbial latrine door.
And still – apart from stolen weekends like this one – as the expression
goes, still hidden in his closet, Or should I say hidden in his organ. Or
should it be her organ (now I’m confused). Perhaps I’d better explain that
Audrey keeps his cross-dressing secret, despite sharing a flat with two
straight friends. (Well you would wouldn’t you?) And so keeps her stash
of femme clothes well-hidden in the back of a disused Organ. A Hammond
Upright Mahogany ElectroVoice Organ. When I learned of this, I did rather
become aware of a rather crumpled dustiness to Audrey’s look.

Closetta_tv

The Secret Dress

By Drew Nield

When you think of WWI or WWII you would never at first put into the same picture either men or women
pretending to be the opposite sex. But the truth is quite the opposite, you see quite a few times men and women
would don the attire of the opposite sex to get information for the news or to spy and get vital secrets for another
country. Here in this article I hope to go a little way into explaining and showing you the wonders of the wartime
cross dresser.

Ecaterina Teodoroiu born January 15, 1894 died September 3, 1917, born Cătălina Toderoiu, was a Romanian
woman who fought and died in World War I, and is regarded as a heroine of Romania, and all this she achieved
while dressed in the uniform of a Romanian man. In Romanian history , Ecaterina Teodoroiu is placed in the
same context of gendered experienced of the Great War on the Eastern Front, as that of Queen Maria of Romania.

35
She was born in the village of Vădeni (nowadays part of Târgu Jiu), in the historical region of Oltenia,
in Southern Romania. After studying for 4 years in Vădeni and Târgu Jiu and graduating from the Girls’
School in Bucharest, she was to became a teacher when the Romanian Kingdom entered World War I on
the Entente side, in 1916. In October 1916, Ecaterina joined the Romanian Army during the first Jiu battle
when General Ion Dragalina’s 1st Army repulsed the 9th German Army offensive. A Scouts’ member, she
had initially worked as a nurse but she subsequently decided to become a front-line soldier, being deeply
impressed by the patriotism of the wounded and by the death of her brother Nicolae (Sergeant in the
Romanian Army). It was an unusual decision for a woman of that epoch, so she was sent to the front rather
reluctantly. However, soon she proved her worthiness as a symbol and as a soldier. She was taken prisoner
but managed to escape by killing two, or perhaps three German soldiers.

. In November, she was wounded and hospitalized, but came back to the front where she was soon
decorated, advanced in rank to Sublocotenent (Second Lieutenant) and given the command of a 25-man
platoon. For her bravery she was awarded the Military Virtue Medal, 1st Class.On September 3, 1917
(August 22 Old Style), she was killed in the Battle of Mărăşeşti (in Vrancea County), where she was hit
in the chest by German machine gun fire. According to some accounts, her last words before dying were:
“Forward, men, I’m still with you!”She was buried in the city center of Târgu Jiu, and her grave is honored
by a monument erected in 1936 by Miliţa Petraşcu.

Her life had started off in one direction but she took what she knew turned it on its head and went to war to
become a hero of Europe and her people.

36
Dorothy Lawrence born 4 October 1896 died on an unknown date in 1964 was an English reporter who
secretly posed as a man to become a soldier during the First World War. Lawrence was born in Polesworth,
Warwickshire, the second daughter of Thomas Hartshorn Lawrence, a drainage contractor, and his wife, Mary
Jane Beddall. In 1914, at the start of the war and aged 19, Dorothy was living in Paris and had a desire to be a
war reporter on the front lines, but was unable to get employment because she was a woman, and it was nearly
impossible for even male reporters to get to the front line at that time.

She recorded in a later autobiography “I’ll see what an ordinary English girl, without credentials or money
can accomplish.” (Lawrence, 41-2). She befriended two English soldiers in a café, and they agreed to give her
a uniform which they smuggled into her apartment. She bound her chest, padded her back with sacking and
cotton, and her friends taught her to drill and march. She persuaded two Scottish military policemen to cut her
hair military style and then dyed her skin using diluted furniture polish to give it a bronzed color. With forged
identity papers as Private Denis Smith of the 1st Bn, Leicestershire Regiment she headed for the front lines,
eventually arriving at the Somme by bicycle.

Dorothy Lawrence born 4 October 1896 died on an unknown date in 1964 was an English reporter who
secretly posed as a man to become a soldier during the First World War. Lawrence was born in Polesworth,
Warwickshire, the second daughter of Thomas Hartshorn Lawrence, a drainage contractor, and his wife, Mary
Jane Beddall. In 1914, at the start of the war and aged 19, Dorothy was living in Paris and had a desire to be a
war reporter on the front lines, but was unable to get employment because she was a woman, and it was nearly
impossible for even male reporters to get to the front line at that time.

37
She recorded in a later autobiography “I’ll see what an ordinary English girl, without credentials or
money can accomplish.” (Lawrence, 41-2). She befriended two English soldiers in a café, and they
agreed to give her a uniform which they smuggled into her apartment. She bound her chest, padded her
back with sacking and cotton, and her friends taught her to drill and march. She persuaded two Scottish
military policemen to cut her hair military style and then dyed her skin using diluted furniture polish to
give it a bronzed color. With forged identity papers as Private Denis Smith of the 1st Bn, Leicestershire
Regiment she headed for the front lines, eventually arriving at the Somme by bicycle.

A Lancashire coalminer named Tom Dunn befriended Dorothy and found her work as a Sapper with the
British Expeditionary Force tunnelling company, a mine-laying company within 400 yards (365 m) of
the front line, where she was constantly under fire. He found her an abandoned cottage in Senlis Forest
to sleep in, and she returned to it each night after laying mines by day. The toll of the job, and of hiding
her true identity, soon gave her a case of constant chills and rheumatism. She was concerned that if she
was killed her true gender would be discovered and the men who had befriended her would be in danger.
After 10 days of service she presented herself to the commanding sergeant, who promptly placed her
under military arrest.

She was taken to the British Expeditionary Force headquarters and interrogated as a spy and declared
a prisoner of war. From there she was taken cross country by horse to Calais where her interrogation
occupied the time of six generals and approximately twenty other officers. She was ignorant of the term
camp follower (prostitute) and she later recalled “We talked steadily at cross purposes. On my side I
had not been informed what the term meant, and on their side they continued unaware that I remained
ignorant! So I often appeared to be telling lies.” (Lawrence, 161).

From Calais she was taken to Saint-Omer and further interrogated. The Army was embarrassed that a
woman had breached security and was fearful of more women taking on male roles during the war if her
story got out. She was then taken to the Convent de Bon Pasteur where she swore not to write about her
experiences and signed an affidavit to that effect. She was then sent back to London.

Back in London she was unable to write of her experiences, which had been her original intent. She later
said, “in making that promise I sacrificed the chance of earning by newspaper articles written on this
escapade, as a girl compelled to earn her livelihood” (Lawrence, 189). After the war ended she wrote
of her experiences, but it was censored by the War Office and not fully published until many years later
when discovered by a historian in the archives. Her story became part of an exhibition at the Imperial
War Museum on women at war.

In 1919, she moved to Canonbury, Islington, but after claiming she had been raped by her church
guardian, she was institutionalised as insane in 1925. She died at Friern Hospital (formerly Colney Hatch
Lunatic Asylum) in 1964. Little else is known of her life after 1919. So here we see that unfortunately
sometimes even with the best intentions it never went the way the people had originally wanted it to go,
so there ended the life of poor Dorothy all but forgotten in an asylum. (on a back not the asylum where
she ended her days was also home at one time to Jack The Ripper suspect Aaron Kosminski)

38
More recently during his service as a commando in the elite Sayeret Matkal, Ehud Barak (formerly
Ehud Brog) was involved in the 1973 Israeli raid on Lebanon (code-named Operation Spring of Youth)
took place on the night of April 9 and early morning of April 10, 1973 when Israel Defense Forces
special forces units attacked several Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) targets in Beirut and
Sidon, Lebanon.

The Israeli Sayeret Matkal forces arrived at the Lebanese beaches in Zodiac boats launched from missile
ships offshore. Mossad agents awaited the forces on the beaches with cars rented the previous day, and
then drove them to their targets and later back to the beaches for extraction.

During the operation, three PLO leaders, surprised at home, were killed, along with other PLO
personnel (reports of actual number killed vary from a dozen to 100). Several Lebanese security people
and civilian neighbors were also killed. Two Israeli soldiers were killed by defending militants. The
main target was a pair of seven-story buildings in the fashionable neighborhood of Verdun in West
Beirut. These buildings were residential housing for both British and Italian families amongst other
Arab families. The building housed Muhammad Youssef Al-Najjar (Abu Youssef). The second seven
story building was on the opposite side of the road and was residential. There were two targets in this
building, Kamal Adwan and Kamal Nasser.

The team attacking the target was mostly based on Sayeret Matkal commandos, led by then unit-
commander Ehud Barak. (Barak later became IDF Chief of Staff and subsequently Prime Minister).
The attacking team also included Yonatan Netanyahu, who became unit commander two years later
and became known for leading the hostage rescue operation in Entebbe in which he was killed. The
team approached the buildings disguised as civilians and couples. (Barak was disguised as a brunette
woman.) In the building, the team killed three PLO and Black September leaders:

39
 Muhammad Youssef Al-Najjar (Abu Youssef) - an operations leader in the militant group
Black September the group responsible for the 1972 Munich massacre. He was also a PLO
veteran, previously head of the Lebanese Fatah branches, head of Fatah internal intelligence
organization. His latest duties were head of the PLO’s political department and one of Yasser
Arafat’s deputies (third in line of Fatah’s leadership).

Kamal Adwan - a PLO chief of operations, responsible for armed militant activities against Israel in
the West Bank and the Gaza strip.

Kamal Nasser - PLO spokesman and member of the PLO Executive Committee.

During the operation, four others were also killed: an Italian woman who resided in the building, Abu
Youssef’s wife, and two Lebanese police officers.

A separate nearby target was a multi-story building which housed militants of the Popular Front
for the Liberation of Palestine. The attacking team had 14 commandos, mainly Sayeret Tzanhanim
Commando paratroopers led by Amnon Lipkin-Shahak, who later succeeded Barak as IDF Chief of
Staff. The attacking team met strong resistance early on, and two of its soldiers were killed. Despite this
resistance, the force was able to bomb the building. Lipkin-Shahak was also decorated for bravery for
his conduct in this operation. This was all done by commandos who at times to get past security forces
dressed as women of the local community to infiltrate and carry out their missions.

Until recently, women have rarely been allowed to serve as soldiers. So what was a gal to do if she
wanted to serve her country? Naturally, disguise herself as a man and join the troops.

At least 400 Civil War soldiers were women in drag. These included Union Army soldier “Frank
Thompson” (also known as Sarah Edmonds), whose small frame and feminine mannerisms (rather than
causing suspicion) made her an ideal spy, as she could spy on the Confederates disguised as... a woman!
She wasn’t the first woman to don a male disguise and join the army, though. During the Revolutionary
War, women fought as men on both sides. Hannah Snell, for example, joined the British army to find
her husband, who had walked out on her to enlist.

40
Once her true sex was discovered (thanks to a pesky groin injury), she became a national celebrity in Britain,
and made a post-war career of performing in bars as the “Female Warrior.” Mental Floss: The Confederacy’s
plan to conquer Latin America

Muhammad Abdul Aziz is a Pakistani cleric, son of Maulana Muhammad Abdullah and elder brother of
Abdul Rashid Ghazi. He is descended from Sadwani clan of Mazari tribe in the town of Rojhan at the border
of southern Punjab and Balochistan.[2] He is the Khateeb in the central mosque of Islamabad known as Lal
Masjid. His correct name is Maulana Abdul Aziz. He does not add ‘Ghazi’ to his name unlike his younger
brother.

On July 4, 2007, he was arrested by the Pakistani police as he was trying to escape the complex while
dressed in a burqa. Some have said that he was tricked by a senior official of an intelligence agency into
donning the Burka on the pretext of having a clandestine meeting with the official.

There have been many instances of cross-dressing spies (including Sarah Edmonds, mentioned above), but
one of the most impressive deceptions in history was carried out by Shi Pei-Pu, a singer with the Beijing
Opera (in which, traditionally, all roles are played by men).

In 1964 he disguised himself as a woman to seduce Bernard Boursicot, an attache in the French Foreign
Service. Their affair lasted 20 years (on and off), during which Boursicot passed several official documents
to Shi, believing that “her” safety was at risk if he didn’t participate. After they were separated in 1965, Shi
came back into Boursicot’s life by claiming to be pregnant, and even revealed a baby boy. They later lived
as a family. The happy couple was eventually arrested for espionage in 1983, and Shi’s secret was revealed,
Crying Game style, to the stunned Boursicot.

41
But how did they have this romance for so long without Bousicot knowing the truth? Officially, they rarely
made love, and always did it hurriedly and in darkness -- something that Boursicot always ascribed to Shi’s
demure Chinese upbringing. One theory, however, is that he always knew the truth, but played dumb to
conceal his homosexuality. (He later came out.)

The affair was the basis for the play “M. Butterfly.” It was filmed in 1993, starring Jeremy Irons and former
Beijing Opera player John Lone (better known for the title role in the film “The Last Emperor”).

There has been other occasions of crossdressing during World Wars that was aimed at entertaining
the soliders , just after WWI a group of 6 ex servicemen formed a dramatic and operatic group called
“Splinters”. Splinters, formed after the First World War, consisted entirely of ex-servicemen. It was produced
by Eliot Markeham (who was also in the men’s chorus) and played the Queen’s Theatre in Shaftesbury
Avenue and to capacity houses in all the major centres for almost two decade. It went into several editions,
made three films and provided a spring board for many of the most successful impersonators working in the
years between the two World Wars. Many of them were still working in the 1960s.

Soldiers in Skirts toured throughout World War II and well into the 1950s. These established acts in WWI
era were ready and available to join the second generation of all-male revenues that sprang up again after
the World War II. The first of these was called We Were in the Forces and opened (while the war was still
on) at Warrington in March 1944. As before, the initial promotions suggested that the performers were
ex-servicemen recreating for the civilian public the shows they had concocted to amuse themselves while
serving. The success of the original show took everyone by surprise; the public flocked and filled the
theatres. More and more revues were set up for touring the nation’s theatres. Their titles emphasized the
shows’ origins - Soldiers in Skirts, Forces Showboat, and Forces in Petticoats.

42
This is The Ascot scene from Forces in Petticoats. Danny La Rue is between the two men at the right of the
photograph.

So as you can see the clothes of ones opposite gender have been donned at many many times both for
entertainment and for important wartime missions, so be proud of a institution that has helped make this world as
great as it is today.

43
44
LL LL
OO
YY OO
NN KK
OO
NN UU
SS 45
TT
I am proud to be British. I love other countries but this one is home. We have very few
natural disasters, although we are not blameless in the present wars by any stretch we suffer
comparatively little by them. We have free(ish) health care and education as well as a police
force and political system which are by world standards not at all corrupt. Human rights as
well as animal rights are much more protected than in the vast majority of other countries.
Britain is by no means perfect but sometimes its nice to count our blessings.
Being British means being proud of our history, for without it we have nothing to base our
future on. It is irrelevant whether we agree with what happened in our country’s past (as I am
sure future generations will not like what we are doing now) history is a foundation to build
on. If we had not had an Empire would we have such a diverse society as we do now? We
need to be proud of all that we achieve. Being British also means in times of adversity getting
on with life, supporting those weaker than ourselves, being a friend to others and a help to our
neighbours. The British play by the rules, and enjoy Sunday pub lunches and still love cricket
on the green.
After many cities not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Xmas lights.

After hearing that a certain council changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her
picture on her driver’s license with her face covered.

After hearing of a Primary School where a boy was told that for PE they could wear Football
League shirts (Aston Villa, Birmingham, West Brom etc) but NOT an England shirt as it could
offend others!
Take It Or Leave It I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some
individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on London, we have experienced a surge
in patriotism by the majority of Brits.
However, the dust from the attacks has barely settled and the politically correct crowd begins
complaining about the possibility that our patriotism is offending others.
As Britons, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own
lifestyle. This culture has been developed over Centuries of wars, struggles, trials and victories
fought by the untold masses of men and women who laid down any one of the millions of men
and women who have sought freedom. We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic,
Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of
our society, learn the language! “In God We Trust” is our National Motto. This is not some
Christian, right wing, political slogan.
We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded
this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls
of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as
your new home, because God is part of our culture. If St George’s cross offends you, or you
don’t like “A Fair Go”, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet

46
We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don’t care how
you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR
LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done
complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our
Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great British freedom, “THE
RIGHT TO LEAVE”.

With Saint George in my heart keep me singing!

I’m English, and I’m proud to be English.

We are GREAT Britain, its time we regain the GREAT!!

Now I’ve got off my soapbox and calmed a little, I’d like to offer some more titbits of What
It Is to Be British but on a much lighter note (note to Editor…………..you did say I could
write what I wanted) (note to Readers…………watch this space get edited……..lol) (note to
Editor………….did I mention I love you??
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then
travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish
furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to
get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk
and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.
Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

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http://
www.asos.com/
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ERrrr...

NO! 57
 BLACK &
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COMPETITION
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Kristina
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 In The

PAPERS
Transgender activist murdered in Turkey
By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • March 13, 2009 - 12:12

The killing of Ebru Soykan, a prominent transgender human rights

activist on March 10th in Istanbul, Turkey, has led to calls for the
Turkish government to protect trans people.

Soykan, 28, who worked for Lamda Istanbul on ending police

violence against trans people, is the second murder victim in the
organisation in the last year.

In July 2008, 26-year-old Ahmet Yildiz was shot and killed as he

was leaving a café near the Bosporus. As yet, no one has been
charged.

According to Human Rights Watch, Soykan had asked for police

protection from a man who had beaten her on several occasions and
threatened to kill her. Lambda Istanbul was told that a few weeks
ago police detained the man but released him two hours later. The
same man is under police custody as the murder suspect.

“The Turkish police have a duty to respond to all credible threats of violence, whoever the victim,” said Juliana
Cano Nieto, researcher in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights programme at Human Rights Watch.
“Investigating violence against LGBT people, prosecuting suspects, and passing effective legislation to ensure equality
are all critical to ensuring that these murderous abuses end.”

Lambda Istanbul has said that in 2007, it submitted a file of 146 cases they had documented to the Istanbul Provincial
Human Rights Board, many dealing with reports of violence against transgender people, including cases of violence
by the police. Several of these cases had been reported to the police.

According to the organisation, the then-deputy governor of Istanbul told Lambda Istanbul that the governor’s office
had found no records of these allegations and complaints in the police districts involved.

“Until an anti-discrimination law is in place to protect the LGBT community and the police take seriously their duty
to protect everyone, these murders will continue,” said Cano Nieto. “Turkey cannot continue to ignore its obligations
when lives are at stake.”

60
Gay comic Graham Norton drags up for Comic Relief
By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • March 14, 2009 - 1:33

Gay comic and television chat show host

Graham Norton showcased his role as Albin in
La Cage aux Folles on the BBC’s charity fund-
raiser Comic Relief.
Norton dragged up to kick-start his segment of
Comic Relief.
Despite the recession, the biennial event has
surpassed all previous records on fund-raising,
at 3:00 am so far raising over £57.8m, greater
than the sum raised in 2007.
Controversially, during a comedy sketch about
Angus Deayton giving his banking details,
he said: “f**k yes” to co-host Davina McCall
two hours before the 9pm watershed for bad
language and sexual content.
A BBC spokesperson apologised saying: “within
any live programme there is a possibility that
something can happen that is not planned.”

61
 MAKE SOME

NOISE!
62
A Night Out At

By Tara Martel

Located in the heart of King’s Cross’s club and pub

area, is London’s latest, new and totally banging
tranny venue. It is modeled closely on the Way Out
Club format and is very similar to how that was
when in its infancy: a truly trendy place to be seen
in; where the cream of London’s tranny glamour and
trampy gothic punk boogie down! Just like all of the
best venues, it is in a basement with a pair of deep
alcoves to smooch and share intimate moments with
your loved ones… or the ones you’d like to love.
Thanks to the Tasty Tara riding the decks, the music
is distinctly funky clubby with a touch of industrial
glamour though not so loud that you can’t chat, but
loud enough to strut your stuff in those sexy new
stilettos.

The brain child of the gorgeous Chrissy, it is set

to become London’s trendiest mecca for all things
tranny exactly like their previous incarnation,
Pegasus of Birmingham.

63
64
 “That was just a trial,” said Chrissy, “we
needed to make sure that we got the formula
exactly right before bringing it to the Capital.
It’s so easy to fall flat on your face when you do
something like this!”
And by using this tried and trusted formula
they have got it bang on!
I was talking to pair of extraordinarily
glamorous ladies who were in evening gowns,
feather boas and glittery eyelashes.
“It’s so important to make an effort for Paps!”
But that is exactly the kind of person you will
find in Paps, the weird and the colourful, just
like a fancy dress party on acid!!!

There are hopes to expand

the concept to Manchester
and Birmingham very soon
and then to other cities in
the near future, so watch
out for a Papillon near you
soon!

65
 Personal Profile

66
I
L
S
A
N
 REPRODUCED BY KIND PERMISSION OF
www.naturalhealthnbeauty.com

Ten Steps to Give yourself an at Home Manicure

This is a fun, easy, and safe way to achieve polished fingernails without paying the higher beauty store prices when going
through these ten steps. This is for adults only, or to do with adult supervision for younger girls, always keeping safety in
mind, and always putting the products up safely after use. Before beginning, wash your nails thoroughly, even with the
polish on your fingernails. Try mostly to get your nails clean underneath your nail cartilage where it is not attached to the
skin before beginning. If you notice growths, tiny knobs under there, or any redness or dirt substance that does not come
out from under your fingernail bed, stop this process, and go to see a medical doctor.

You will need:

• 1 pack of cotton balls

• 1 fingernail polish remover

• 1 emery board

• 1 nail trimmer

• 1 cuticle remover

• 1 bottle of fingernail polish

• A couple of paper towels

Nail polish removing.

Firstly, take out as many cotton balls as needed one at a time, and safely douse each fingernail with nail polish remover,
until your whole fingernail is your natural true color. It is available now at the stores in bottle or sponge form in a bottle.
For the sponge type, you have to dip your finger into the container, usually a plastic one, and swish your finger around
frequently checking it to make sure your fingernail polish is coming off. For the fingernail polish in the bottle without a
sponge embedded in it, you have to carefully tip it about a fourth of the way over using the cotton ball at the top to stop
up the top from spilling out all over, and If you need to, you can have some paper towel handy to wipe off any excess
fingernail polish remover that spills over as a result. Whichever fingernail polish remover you choose, swab your fingernails
one by one until they are your natural color.

If you frequently use fingernail polish, your natural nail can become tinted a little of a yellowing color, not to be confused
with bold yellow, and not red or green, or swollen. If your fingernails or fingers start to become red, green, or swollen,
seek medical attention immediately. If you are doing ok, and your nails are now their natural color, go to step 2.

Filing your nails with an emery board.

Next, you should have what is called an emery board. An emery board is usually a very inexpensive fingernail board used
for filing down rough nail surfaces that is rough on the surface at least on one side. An emery board should not be used to
scrape your natural nail surface at all. It will make your smooth fingernails rough.

You can use the emery board quite effectively on the end of your nail, in order to give it a consistent shape and make the
tip of your nail smooth, not rough. Emery board comes in all shapes and sizes, and you can even look for one to fit your
personality or wardrobe color-wise. As soon as you are done smoothing the tips of your nails in a uniform manner, proceed
to the next step 3.

67
Trimming your fingernails.
A fingernail trimmer is used in your home nail process when you want to
reshape or shorten your nails more efficiently than with an emery board.
You can make your fingernails shorter using fingernail clippers, which are
clippers that are small in size designed to fit your nail shape and be able
to cut your fingernail tip surface, without having enough force in them to
really do massive cutting damage, but still use safety.
You should trim your nails at least once a month if they are healthy. Never
trim unhealthy, discolored or brittle fingernails. Never trim your nails to
the quick, which is the place where your fingernail cartilage meets your
skin.

Be mindful of safety, even at this stage of the process. If you have

hypoglycemia, or any other disease such as Parkinson’s or nerves, do
not clip your own fingernails if you might have an issue of safety. Some
fingernails are hard, and take some sharper fingernail cutters to cut
through them. If this is the case with yours, you may want to consider
going to a salon or a simple medical visit and have a professional trim
them. However, if not, trim away. This is mostly a basic and fun procedure
for most people. Then start with step #4.

Cuticle removing.
Next, you need to use your cuticle remover to remove your cuticle, or
actually push it down. Your cuticle is that soft skin that forms at the bottom
of your fingernail at the place where your fingernail cartilage and your skin
meet. It is just like a foreskin. Its job is to cover the place where your nail
cartilage meets your skin, and make a smooth transition for that to happen.
As your fingernails grow, your cuticle skin stretches, and this process of
removing your cuticle pushes back that excess to promote your nail growth
and health.

Again, you would want to check your cuticle area for rashes, redness,
swelling, discoloration of any kind, and if any of those issues are present in
your cuticle, seek the advice of a medical professional before pushing it back.

If you find that it looks pretty much like your fingernail and finger color, but
with a different smoother and softer texture, go ahead and push the cuticle
back with the cuticle remover, which is a little stick like device with a softer
but firm tip made especially for the cuticle. It is not a cutting type tool. It
looks a little shorter than a chopstick, but has a necessary soft tipped end to
make sure that your cuticle does not get damaged.

Push back your cuticles one at a time using the cuticle removing tool. These
are available from nearly any beauty supply store, or store that carries
fingernail accessories of any kind. These are also relatively inexpensive.

It is important to note that if at any time in your process for any reason, if
your nails start to bleed mildly or a lot, stop this procedure at once. This is
not likely to happen in a normal fingernail manicure, but it may be a nice way
of warning you of a problem with your own nails that you may need to get
medical attention for.

68
 Pick a color.
Now you are ready to pick out a nail polish color from your own home
nail polish collection. Pick out a color that matches your skin coloring,
outfit styles that you wear, or shade of lipstick. If you polish your nails
frequently, make sure that you give them one or two days to air out
and breathe naturally to promote healthy nails in between polishes.

Application of finger nail polish color.

Each bottle of nail polish comes with it’s own applicator inside
the bottle, attached to the handle of the fingernail polish bottle.
Just unscrew the fingernail polish bottle, and scrape off the excess
fingernail polish on the fingernail polish brush applicator on the side of
the bottle itself. You can use a paper towel for this process, but you
may end up with paper towel residue mixed into your color, so I would
not recommend it. Also, you need to make sure that you have a steady
hand for this in order to get your finger nail polish on your fingernail
area only, not on your skin. Skin always needs to breathe, and cannot
with polish on it.

When you are ready, take the applicator holding non-dripping color to
your nails, brushing from the base of your fingernails upward towards
the top tip of your nail. Make sure you coat your whole nail evenly.
Starting at the base of the nail and applying polish in an upward motion
helps you evenly coat your nail.

Correcting polish mistakes.

If you make a mistake, take a paper towel and douse it with nail
polish remover as you did with the cotton ball in step one, and
try to get the excess polish off your skin using the flat edge of the
paper towel. Then, if you need to re-coat that fingernail, go ahead.
If not, great. Just move on to the next fingernail until you are done.

Second coats of nail polish.

Wait at least ten minutes before applying a second coat. You should
not paint over your nails another time unless your nail polish is dry
the first time. Without air, or low to medium speed fans blowing
on them, it will take about five minutes for your fingernails to dry.
Using high-speed fans near your wet nail polish can move your
fingernail polish around your fingernail and mess its even coat up.

Quick drying nails.

You can buy the quick drying kind of nail polish at the stores, or a
quick drying sealer that is clear over the color of your nail polish to
quicken drying if you are in a hurry. As a reminder, do not attempt
to polish your fingernails in an area that does not have proper
ventilation. And do not polish your nails around the face of infants.

69
Pedicure Tips
A step-by-step guide to help to achieve a professional looking pedicure in your own home, saving time and money.
Giving yourself a professional looking pedicure at home is a snap if you follow some simple steps. Pedicures can be done
alone of course, but they are so much more fun when you invite a group of girlfriends over for a pedicure party. Here are
tips to help you achieve salon quality results without the expense.
You need the following materials, which you can find at beauty supply stores:
• Pumice stone or dry skin buffer

• Toe separators or cotton balls/roll

• Emory board

• Cuticle remover

• Orangewood stick

• Color nail polish

• Base coat

• Top coat

• Nail polish remover

• Quick dry spray

• Nail clippers

• Dish pan

• Cotton balls

• Towels

• Cuticle nippers, if desired

• Lotion

• Nail buffer, if desired

• Paper pedicure slippers, if desired.

1. Thoroughly saturate a cotton ball with nail polish remover and use it to remove any old polish you may have on
your toenails from you last pedicure. Gently pressing the cotton ball on the nail for a moment before wiping the nail
with a circular motion will make it easier to remove the polish.

2. Fill the dishpan with enough warm soapy water to cover your feet. Soak for at least five minutes.
Note: Whenever you are working on one foot, the other foot should be soaking in the warm water.

3. 3. Dry your foot and apply the cuticle remover at the base of each nail. Wait one minute for the remover to soften
the cuticle. Use the wedged end of the orangewood stick to push the cuticle back. If desired, carefully snip off the
excess cuticle. Repeat this procedure on the other foot.
Note: If you like, you may trim your cuticles with cuticle nippers. I don’t recommend this if you aren’t experienced at
it. Once you start trimming cuticles you have to keep doing it every time you give yourself a pedicure. You may nick
yourself in the process and bleed. This will not make for a relaxing pedicure experience!

70
1. Using the nail clippers, cut off any nails that are too long. Length is a
personal preference, but make sure the nail is shorter than the toe. Be
careful not to cut the nails too short as this can cause ingrown toenails
and can be quite painful. With the emery board, file the nail into a square
shape.

2. Use the nail buffer to smooth any roughness or ridges on the surface of
the nails.

3. Wet the pumice stone in the dishpan. Rub any areas of dry or flaking skin
gently with the pumice stone. Rinse the foot and dry. You may also use
skin-buffing sponge instead of the pumice stone.
Note: Do not ever use a filing tool that cuts your skin or allow one to be
used on your feet. Not only is it unsanitary, but you may cut too deeply,
causing pain or even drawing blood.

4. Apply a generous amount of lotion to the foot, massaging it in and taking

care to cover all the foot, especially the dry and flaky parts. Massage
the lotion up your legs to your knees. Close your eyes and relax for 10
minutes, allowing your skin to soak in the soothing lotion.

5. Saturate a cotton ball with nail polish remover and go back over your
toenails, making sure that all lotion residues are removed. This is
important, since the polish will not stick to any surface that still has lotion
residue on it.

6. Press the toe separators between the toes, so that each toe is not rubbing
on the next.
Note: If doing a group pedicure, make sure that each person has his or
her own pair of toe separators, for the sake of hygiene. If toe separators
are not available, use cotton balls or a roll of cotton. Be very careful to
keep the cotton away from the nails themselves, as cotton fibers will ruin
the look of the polish.

7. Brush 1 coat of the base coat over each nail. Allow it to dry for one minute.

8. Apply 2 coats of the nail color. Allow it to dry for 5 minutes.

9. Apply the top coat. Allow it to dry for 1 minute, then spray your nails with
the quick dry spray.

If possible, allow a half hour for the nails to dry completely. If you don’t have that much time, carefully remove the toe
separators and slip your feet into open toed shoes. Be very careful that the wet nails don’t touch the shoes or other
toes. You may want to use the paper “sandals” that are available at beauty supply stores to preserve your polish until it
is dry.

This entire procedure should take about an hour. After your nails are dry, you can look down often and admire your
handiwork. Your pedicure should last about 2 weeks or even longer if you apply more coats of the topcoat. Have fun!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

71
Rock Chick

Competition
72
 VOTE#1- Cyndi

73
VOTE#2- Erica

74
 VOTE#3- Gorgeous TB

75
VOTE#4- Heather

76
VOTE#5- Jessi

77
 VOTE#6- Renae

78
VOTE#7- Sandi

79
VOTE#8- Rachel

80
Jean Jeanie
OK Gang, competition time again, this
time I want to see your “Jeanious” (
sorry lol ) ideas with the staple diet of
any girls wardrobe - JEANS!!
All pics can be sent to me direct at
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
or in the folders provided on
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lilboutique/

Competition
81
Transgender
6 0
A History

1 8
NO
1

1 9
9

19
72
4
3

82
 Thought Transgenderism
ad was a recent phenomenon?
Well think again, far back
54 in the mists of time our

OW
fore-fathers were already
carrying the torch!

6 7
CB7
9

38
83
Part Two
1948 -- Harry Benjamin is introduced by Alfred Kinsey to a boy who wants to become a
girl, and whose mother seeks a treatment to assist, rather than thwart the child. The
following year, he begins treating transsexuals in San Francisco and New York with hor-
mones. The Institute for Sexual Science had not previously done this; the treatment was
entirely new.
1949 -- Michael Dillon becomes the first female-to-male transsexual to complete sex-
change operation procedures after a series of 13 pre-phalloplasty operations performed in
London over a four-year period. Phalloplasty for FTM transsexuals would not be coherently
developed until 1958.

1952 -- Christine Jorgensen (May 30, 1926 – May 3,

1989) is “outed” to the American press, and becomes
the subject of great controversy. Her surgery had been
performed two years earlier by Dr. Christian Hamburger
in Copenhagen, Denmark. She hadn’t wanted to become a
public spectacle, but spent her remaining years edu-
cating people about transsexuals.
1953 -- Ed Wood Jr.’s film Glen or Glenda appears,
providing a surprisingly sincere attempt to under-
stand transgenderism, despite its bizarre and schlocky
B-movie trappings. Purportedly inspired by Christine
Jorgensen. Wood would later become rather famous in
Hollywood circles as being a transvestite.
1955 -- Dr. John Money, a psychologist, writes the
first of many papers in the Bulletin of the Johns
Hopkins Hospital which will establish for him a repu-
tation as a pioneer in the field of sexual develop-
ment, and a proposes the theory that gender identity
develops primarily as a result of social learning from
early childhood.
Dame Edna Everidge (alternate link) first appears in
a Melbourne comedy revue in 1955. At this time she is
known as “Mrs Norm Everage”. She goes on to become
an Australian figure of note in the 1990s.

1958 -- The first complete Phalloplasty for gender reassign-

ment purposes is performed by Dr. Judy T. Wu in Bratsk, Russia.
Previously, the procedure had only been devised for men who had
experienced amputations, particularily during WWI, with some
early attempts to develop FTM procedures in the decade preceed-
ing. Phalloplasty would still not become very refined until
the 1970s, when additional aspects such as a pump for creating
erections would be devised for injured Vietnam veterans. Phal-
loplasty for female-to-male transsexuals is more complicated for
84
1960 -- Virginia (Charles) Prince begins publishing Transvestia Maga-
zine. She also founds Los Angeles’ Hose and Heels Club and another
organization that develops into Tri-Ess (”The Society for the Second
Self”). These organizations are thought to be the first modern trans-
gender support groups, and the magazine is the first publication for and
by transgender people. She proceeds with a strong belief, however, in
“heterosexual crossdressing” (i.e. crossdressers who are only attract-
ed to women) and excludes “gay” or “bisexual” crossdressers from her
groups, as well as transitioning transsexuals. Prince eventually goes on
to live full-time as female, but Tri-Ess still does not allow full mem-
bership for gay men or MTF transsexuals to this day.
1961 -- José Sarria becomes the first transgender-identified person to
run for public office. A legendary drag queen, Sarria received 5,600
votes when running for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Sarria
(who still identified as male, at least at the time) proclaimed himself
“Her Royal Majesty, Empress of San Francisco, Jose I, The Widow Nor-
ton,” the latter being a reference to the 19th Century Joshua Norton,
who had colorfully proclaimed himself Emperor of the United States. This
led to the 1965 founding of the Imperial Court System, a non-profit char-
itable organization of mostly drag queens that continues to this day to
raise funds and awareness for other charities and people in need. Based
on Sarria’s model, another Court materialized in Vancouver, Canada in
1971, followed by many more in many major cities across North America.
Sarria also later appears with other drag queens in the opening portion
of the motion picture, To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything -- Julie New-
mar.

1965 -- David Reimer is

born (named Bruce, by his
parents). The following
year, his penis is burned
up to the base during a
circumcision accident.
He was taken to the Johns
Hopkins Medical Center
in Baltimore to see John
Money. Money recommended
that Reimer be raised as
a girl. An orchidectomy
was performed, and Reimer
was raised with the name
“Brenda.”

85
 1966 -- Harry Benjamin publishes The Transsexual Phenomenon. Although he hadn’t coined
the word “transsexual,” it became the term of choice following this publication.
Johns Hopkins Medical Center opens the first Gender Clinic, under John Money’s guid-
ance. Although Money’s beliefs and writings cause severe damage with regards to inter-
sex children and gender reassignment at birth, he also champions gender reassignment
surgery (SRS) in adults, and the clinic becomes the mecca for gender transition. Much
of the surgical work from this time would pioneer SRS techniques. Money’s legacy would
be a mixed blessing / curse to the transgender cause.
One hot August night in San Francisco, the management at Gene Compton’s Cafeteria
call police to deal with an unruly table of transpeople, hustlers, and down-and-out-
ers (a typical segment of their clientele). When they attempt to arrest one of the drag
queens, she throws coffee in his face, and a riot ensues, spilling out into the street.
Although transgender (and gay pride) activism wouldn’t be galvanized until the Stone-
wall riot of 1969, the Compton’s riot would help set the stage for the gay pride move-
ment, as well as be a spark to draw the San Francisco GLBT communities together earlier
than elsewhere, making the city a cultural mecca for alternate sexualities. The story
of Comton’s Cafeteria is not well known, but told in the documentary Screaming Queens
(alternate link). After the riot, (now-Sgt.) Elliot Blackstone, who had been appointed
the first liaison to the GLBT community in 1962, educates many on the Police force,
helping the city to become one of the most trans-friendly environments in the world. He
also helps to organize San Francisco’s first transgender support group.

Mid 1960s through the ‘70s -- Reed Erickson (1917

– 1992) founds the Erickson Educational Foundation,
which supports many research projects that don’t fit
into the usual catagories of grants... parapsychol-
ogy, dolphin / human communication, human potential
movement, and transsexuality. Erickson’s financial
support makes much of the work of Harry Benjamin,
John Money’s Gender Clinic at Johns Hopkins Medical
Center possible.
1968 -- The International Olympic Committee (IOC)
begins chromosome testing of female athletes, effec-
tively banning transsexuals and some intersexed in-
dividuals (some of whom were fertile as female, with
children) from competition, until 2002.
Universities also begin opening clinics for treating
transsexuals; the first surgeries are performed on
non-intersexed transsexuals.
1969 -- Sylvia Rivera (2 July 1951–19 February 2002) throws a bottle at New York City cops
harrassing patrons at Stonewall Inn on June 28, 1969; friend Marsha P. Johnson (1945 - July
6, 1992 -- Johnson is one of the many we remember during the Transgender Day of Remembrance)
and several others join in, and the Stonewall Riots touch off the Gay and Lesbian Libera-
tion movements (in other retellings, Johnson throws the first projectile). A founding member
of both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance, by 1974, those organizations
would abandon her, seeing transgendered people as being an embarassment and a political lia-
bility to the gay rights cause. By the 1990s, political gay and lesbian groups would denounce
Rivera’s contribution, even denying that she was present during the Stonewall Riots. Rivera
gradually fell into alcoholism, and it wouldn’t be until the turn of the millennium that she
would reemerge as a public figure.
86
 1970 -- Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson form STAR, the
first transgender activist organization, which later (at
times) included a safe-house.
Virginia Prince, of Tri-Ess, coins the word “transgender,”
albeit with a limited definition to describe her transvesti-
tism.
April Corbett’s (neé Ashley; alternate link) marriage is
annulled and she is declared to be legally still a man, in
spite of a legal sex reassignment, leaving United Kingdom
post-operative transsexuals in legal limbo, unable to marry
as either sex, until 2004.
Andy Warhol protege Holly Woodlawn debuts in the movie
Trash, for which the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sci-
ences would be petitioned to nominate her for an Oscar (they
wouldn’t). Woodlawn would appear in a few more films and
then disappear from sight, but not before being immortalized
in the Lou Reed song, “Walk on the Wild Side.”
After initial rejection by founder Betty Friedan (who re-
ferred to lesbians as “the lavender menace”), the National
Organization for Women (NOW) expands policy to include lesbi-
an rights. Embrace of transgender issues does not come until
circa 2003, and remains a marginal part of their policy. As
NOW represents much of the core of the feminist movement,
feminism as a whole is still very resistant to accepting
transwomen as “women,” even after surgery is performed.

1970s (specific year unknown) -- Metoidioplasty is developed for female-to-male transsexuals.

Phalloplasty had existed previously, but Metoidioplasty was seen as a more affordable option,
with better results in sensation.
1972 -- John Money (with Anke Ehrhardt) publishes Man & Woman, Boy & Girl: Gender Identity
from Conception to Maturity. He would go on to publish several books asserting that gender is
learned, and not genetically predetermined. This theory is seized upon by the feminist move-
ment as evidence that women are socialized to be passive against their true natures, and this
later becomes a wedge between lesbian feminists and transsexual women.
In many of his writings of this time, Money cites his famous “John/Joan case”, which he
touts as being a socialization of a boy whose penis had been lost in a circumcision accident,
to be raised successfully as a girl. “John/Joan,” however, is David Reimer, who is not set-
tling into his reassigned gender as “Brenda” as well as Money believes.
As a consequence of many of Money’s writings, paediatricians mistakenly take up the practice
of gender assignment at birth. This is most often determined by the length of the penile /
clitoral tissue: if it is smaller than a certain length, the child’s tissue is trimmed and
they are assigned to be raised as a girl. This policy continued up to the turn of the millen-
nium, and is a major factor in the origins of many intersexed children.
Jamie Farr’s crossdressing character, Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, debuts on the CBS tel-
evision show, M*A*S*H, the first transgender-related character to appear regularily on TV.
Although Klinger was said to crossdress only as an attempt to be given a discharge from the
Army, it is the first moment of particular visibility outside comedians’ sporadic use of
crossdressing for comedic purposes (popularized by Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in the movie
“Some Like It Hot” as well as by comedians ranging from Milton Berle to Jerry Lewis to
Monty Python’s Flying Circus).
87
1973 -- Folk singer and accomplished activist Beth Elliott, aka “Mustang Sally,”
becomes vice-president of the Daughters of Bilitis. Soon afterward, she is “out-
ed” as a transsexual, and hounded out of the organization by transphobic lesbian
seperatists. At the West Coast Lesbian Conference held in Los Angeles later that
year, the controversy would continue as lesbians protest the fact that Elliott is
scheduled to perform at the meeting. She would mostly abandon activism until 1983.
This division continues, as Sylvia Rivera is followed at a Gay Pride Rally by Jean
O’Leary, who denounces transwomen as female impersonators profiting from the deri-
sion and oppression of women.
Homosexuality is delisted from the medical community’s standard DSM, declaring
that it is no longer a mental disorder (and never was). Transgenderism, however,
remains listed as a mental disability, termed “gender dysphoria,” to this day.
The stage musical, The Rocky Horror Show debuts in London. Jim Sharman and Richard
O’Brien would later translate it to film as The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which
would become a true cult phenomenon. The theme, “don’t dream it, be it” becomes
a rallying cry for many transsexuals as well as many libertarians of all stripes.
Australian showgirl-turned-actress Carlotta (known for her performances in the
long-running 1963 Les Girls cabaret, in which she was a founding member) debuts in
the soap opera, Number 96 playing Robyn Ross, a transgendered showgirl. When the
character’s (and actress’) identity is revealed, she is quickly written out of
the show due to viewer response. Carlotta later becomes the inspiration for the
movie, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

1974 -- Jan Morris publishes Conundrum, the story of her

quest for personal identity, and one of the earliest au-
tobiographies to shed light on the transsexual dilemma.
1976 -- Reneé Richards (August 19, 1934 - present) is
“outed” and barred from competition when she attempts
to enter a womens’ tennis tournament (the U.S. Open).
Her subsequent legal battle establishes that transsexuals
are fully, legally recognized in their new identity after
SRS, in the United States. Her story would be told in the
book and movie, Second Serve, but Richards would later
decide that she regretted her transition and the result-
ing public harassment.
Jonathan Ned Katz publishes Gay American History: Lesbi-
ans and Gay Men in the U.S.A. and the connection between
Jonathan Gilbert’s “H” and Dr. Alan Hart, but asserts
Hart as a lesbian, effectively stealing transgender his-
tory.
1977 -- Sandy Stone is “outed” while working for Ol-
ivia Records, the first womens’ music record label, as a
recording engineer. Lesbian activists threaten a boycott
of Olivia products and concerts, forcing the company to
ask for Stone’s resignation. Angela Douglas writes a sa-
tirical letter to Sister as a protest of the transphobia
in the lesbian community in general, and the attacks on
Sandy Stone in particular.

88
 1979 -- Janice Raymond publishes The Transsexual Empire, a semi-
scholarly transphobic attack. In the book, she cites Douglas’
letter out of context as an example of transsexual mysogyny, and
casts Sandy Stone’s involvement in Olivia Records as “divisive”
and “patriarchal.” (Stone would reply to these accusations in her
book, The Empire Strikes Back: A Posttranssexual Manifesto.) She
championed the idea that gender is purely a matter of “sex role
socialization” (an opinion that coincided very much with John Mon-
ey’s, despite her open attacks on him), writing “... All trans-
sexuals rape women’s bodies by reducing the real female form to
an artifact, appropriating this body for themselves. However, the
transsexually constructed lesbian feminnist violates women’s sexu-
ality and spirit as well.... Transsexuals merely cut off the most
obvious means of invading women, so that they seem non-invasive.”
Johns Hopkins Medical Center closes its Gender Clinic, under the
recommendation of new curator, Paul McHugh, John Money’s successor
and an opponent to both Money’s idea of gender as being learned,
and Money’s support of transsexuals’ need to transition. Over the
next two decades, many of the other Gender Clinics across North
America would follow suit. The closure was justified by pointing
to a 1979 report (”Sex Reassignment: Follow-up,” published in
Archives of General Psychiatry 36, no. 9) by Jon Meyer and Donna
Reter that claimed to show “no objective improvement” following
male-to-female GRS surgery. This report was later widely questioned
and eventually found to be contrived and possibly fraudulent, but
the damage had been done.
Musician and synthesized music pioneer Wendy Carlos transitions and
goes public.
Gays, lesbians and transsexuals, who were previously condemned to
death in Iran, are given a new fate under law: they are forced to
undergo SRS surgery to “correct” the inclination. Transsexuals
are still held with a great deal of derision in Iran, and are en-
couraged to keep silent about their past.

1980 -- David Reimer (as “Brenda”) learns at the age of 15 from his parents that
he had been born a boy, and decides to re-establish a male identity. This process
would take until 1997, and involve testosterone injections, a double-mastectomy and
two phalloplasty surgeries.
Joanna Clark, aka Sister Mary Elizabeth, an Episcopal Nun, organizes the ACLU
Transsexual Rights Committee.
Paul Walker organizes the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association
to promote standards of care for transsexual and transgendered clients. He also
founds the Janus Information Facility, continuing the work of Erickson Educational
Foundation. Later, he would fall ill, and Joanna Clark and Jude Patton would co-
found J2CP Information Services to continue this legacy.

89
1981 -- Model, actress and Bond Girl Caroline Cossey (”Tula”) is
“outed” by the British press. She would later become the first
post-operative transsexual to pose for Playboy. By 1988, she would
be struggling with the European Court of Human Rights to recognize
her as a female -- she would win in June 1989, but the court would
overturn their decision a year later. Recognition would not come
until The Gender Recognition Act 2004.
1982 -- Boy George (George Alan O’Dowd) and Culture Club emerge
on the pop charts with the song, “Do You Really Want To Hurt
Me?” His crossdressing image is not totally new (androgyny had
been played with by the likes of David Bowie, Steve Tyler and
Aerosmith, Hall and Oates, Elton John...), but had certainly never
been taken to the same extreme. By 1986, however, the disintegra-
tion of his relationship with drummer Jon Moss and drug problems
would hamstring him and Culture Club would be disbanded. Despite
some resurgences (he had a hit with the Roy Orbison song for the
movie The Crying Game, for example)

1983 -- Jessica Lange wins the Best Actress Oscar for her
role in Tootsie, a Sydney Pollack movie in which Dustin
Hoffman plays an actor who takes on a female persona in or-
der to secure work in a soap opera. Hoffman and Pollack are
also nominated in the Best Actor and Best Director catego-
ries but do not win Oscar. Although not a portrayal of the
transgender community, the movie is the first gender-trans-
gressive one to be recognized with such an honor. Lange
also later appears in the transgender positive made-for-TV
movie, Normal. Later recognition for transgender-related
film works include a win for Hilary Swank (Oscars, 2000,
Boys Don’t Cry, Best Actress), a Golden Globe win for Best
Picture (Ma Vie En Rose), and nominations for Jaye Davidson
(Oscars, 1993, The Crying Game, Best Supporting Actor; Neil
Jordan won the Oscar for his screenplay but lost the Direc-
toral nomination), Felicity Huffman (Oscars, 2006, Transa-
merica, Best Actress; Golden Globe win for same category),
and Edouard Molinaro (Oscars, 1980, La Cage Aux Folles, Best
Director).

1984 -- The International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) is founded, becoming the
first major transgender organization to welcome both transsexual and crossdressing mem-
bers, along with dual inclusion in its magazine, Tapestry (later, Transgender Tapestry
Journal).
Heavy Metal band Twisted Sister brings gender-bending to the fore in a different music
genre, although glam rock had been somewhat previously popularized by Aerosmith and KISS
in the 1970s. Censorship contributes to the failure of their follow-up album, and front
man Dee Snider spends two years heavily occupied with the music industry fight against
the PMRC music labelling movement.

90
 1985 -- A pink granite monument is unveiled at the site of the Neuengamme
concentration camp dedicated to the homosexual victims of Naziism. To
some, it stands as a memorial to all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgen-
dered individuals killed in the Holocaust, as the Nazis did not discrimi-
nate regarding individual differences.
1987 -- Albertan k.d. lang makes her musical debut. lang, whose image is
very much a gender-challenging form of androgyny, exemplifies the di-
chotomy within the lesbian community regarding female-to-male transsexu-
als: so long as one does not step beyond the “butch” limit to actually
transition to male, they are accepted and even applauded, but those who
transition are deemed “traitors.” lang herself is out as a lesbian, but
does not identify as being transgendered.
1989 -- Billy Tipton, a well-respected jazz musician, dies and is discov-
ered to be female, after presenting as a man since 1933.
Ray Blanchard proposes the theory of autogynephilia, which he defined as
“a man’s paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or
image of himself as a woman.” This theory catches on with some writers
of the time, even transgender advocate Dr. Anne Lawrence, but is never
quite accepted by the medical community as a whole, as it has many gaps in
study (and logic), and widely conflicts with the accepted model of gender
identity disorder. By the turn of the millennium, it would be dropped in
favor of more biological studies of transgenderism.
RuPaul first appears in the Talking Heads video “Love Shack,” and goes
on to become a drag queen of worldwide notoriety.

1990 -- The term “two-spirit” originates in Winnipeg, Canada, during the

third annual intertribal Native American/First Nations gay and lesbian
conference. It comes from the Ojibwa words niizh manidoowag (two-spir-
its). It is chosen as a means to distance Native/First Nations people from
non-Natives, as well as from the words “berdache” and “gay” -- previ-
ously, there were a myriad of words used, different depending on tribe.
The phrase “two-spirit” is used to denote all third-gendered peoples,
whether gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered -- but the intersexed are
held in particularily high regard, and thought to be beings of potentially
great power and blessing. The older term of “berdache” had been French
in origin, and is derived from Arabic and Eastern words meaning “kept
boy” or “male prostitute.” “Berdache” was used by explorers to ex-
plain to Western cultures how many Native traditions held a special rever-
ence for two-spirit peoples to the earliest time, especially the Lakota,
Ojibwa, Blackfoot, Cheyenne, Mojave, Navajo and Cree tribes (others, such
as the Comanche, Eyak, Iroquois and many Apache bands did not often rec-
ognize the existence of two-spirits). Two-spirit peoples were thought to
have both male and female persons living within the same body, and a two-
spirited child’s gender would be determined at puberty, based on their
inclination toward masculine or feminine activities. In the last century,
modern Christianity had “evangelized,” indoctrinated and destroyed many
Native traditions, and two-spirit people are only now just re-emerging
from homophobic stigmas.

Part Three next month

CENTREFOLD
J A
E N
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 This months Centrefold is made up of some of Jennifers writings
as well as her lovely pictures x

February 17, 2009

Walking the Gender Divide

By, Jennifer Ann Nelson

What’s it like to walk on both sides of the

gender divide sometimes as a man and
sometimes as a woman? This is the kind
of question that gets asked by those who
are naive yet curious. My answer, as a
transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.”
Though I have a male body, for as long as I
can remember, I have thought of myself as
female. I hide it well, even though I don’t
relate well to guys doing guy things. My
heart aches to have a doll collection. When
I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are;
“how can I be more like her.”

Men and women are truly different. In

body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you
can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking
across the gender spectrum, probably
99% of men are congruent with being men
and 99% of women are congruent with
being women. These men have absolutely
no interest in putting on a dress and the
women have no interest in being men. Their
gender and sex are congruent. This is at the
heart of the misunderstanding the general
public has about us as transgendered
women. They have no comprehension of
what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No
pun intended.) They can’t even imagine
it. Many are even revulsed by the idea
because it is so foreign to who they are.
What woman would want to be a man?
What man would want to be a woman?
Yet here we are, women on the inside
struggling to make the person we see in the
mirror congruent with our inner selves.

93
Being married and transgendered
further complicates the situation.
On the one hand our spouses have
expectations of us as men and
specifically as husbands. On the other
hand we are transgendered. Denial,
purges, prayer, nothing seems to
change who we are inside.

I was once scolded by one of my

wife’s friends who had heard that I
sometimes wore women’s clothes. If
she only knew. I had no interest in
getting into a discussion with her but
she did get me thinking about how
could I ever explain my conundrum?
How can this make sense to those
who are congruent as males or
females?

Imagine, as a mind game, that

a beautiful genetic woman is
made to look like a man; short
hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry,
no earrings, takes testosterone,
has no breasts, grows a beard
or shaves every day wears
male clothes lowers her voice
and walks like a soldier. Next,
she’s told this is who she is
for the rest of her life which
means, among other things,
that all her relationships will
change. Other women will look
upon her as a man; i.e., one of
them, useful but not girl friend
material. She will also now have
to relate to men as one of them.
Remember that through all of
this, in her mind, she is still a
woman. Every time she looks in
the mirror, every time she puts
on her clothed every time she
comes in contact with another
person, who she is and who she
appears to be are in diametric
opposition. This is truly a recipe
for disaster. Welcome to being
transgendered.

94
This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did
a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006:
“I can’t express how much I appreciated your
artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw
myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman
smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman,
young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and
sophisticated looking like she had just stepped
out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for
the rest of the day was real, I felt like I’ve never
felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was
the woman I had always dreamed I could be.
Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw
this same beautiful woman smiling back at me.
Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my
face to a totally new level. Your color palette is
so different from what I’ve been using that I’m
going to have to get the complete MAC kit before
I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have
so much to learn but the wonderful result you
showed me gives me the encouragement to get
started. Amanda, you’ve turned the clock back
30 years! I want to look spectacular.

“Last year I watched a reality program called the

Swan, where a group of women who considered
themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put
through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc.,
never seeing themselves in a mirror until the
final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally
saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful
women they had become. Watching the program
I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief
as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I
truly know how they felt because I too was that
woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in
various outfits, is a wonderful �remembrance of
the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as
elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled
tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the
wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a
bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful
gown has always been a fantasy that has now
been given life. Thinking back over the day and
reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy.

“The need for congruence as a woman is very

strong.”

95
I’m flying. As Jennifer I haven’t flown in 20 years but here
I am flying from LAX to DTW. On the outbound (in drab)
I talked to a TSA supervisor. I told him I was transitioning
to become a woman but I would still be in my male ID for
some time. He took it like it was no big deal, no problem,
just show two pieces of picture ID like your drivers license
and your passport. (He also mentioned Social Security
card which is not a picture ID.)

On the return, as Jennifer, I used my drivers license

and a photocopy of my DL with a picture of me as
Jennifer attached and the note that, “the person hereon
is transgendered and is not dressed in this manner for
fraudulent or deceptive purposes.” I also carried a letter
from my transgender councilor which I did not have to
use. I look nothing like my picture in male mode. (The
first time I visited my transgender councilor as Jennifer
she comment that she wouldn’t have recognized me if
she hadn’t been prepared having seen pictures of me as
Jennifer.)

I was dressed much as my pictures, red hair, face lightly

made up, wearing a green, low cut sweater that showed lots
of cleavage (since the pictures you’ve seen I’ve increased
my breasts four sizes) a white, 17 inch, mini skirt and white
heels. I saw one of my VC girl friends while I was in LA
and she thought I looked great in this outfit.

When I went through TSA security I was wearing an

underbust corsets. (I had decided that my figure was a first
priority.) I knew I would flunk the metal detector but, so
what. I flunked.

ID security passed me with my two pieces of picture ID. I

did have to go through a wanding and pat down. The lady
who did me was very polite and treated me like a lady.

I had been upgraded to Business Class and enjoyed the

pampering all the way to Detroit. At all points of the trip I
was treated as a lady and often received smiles from other
women. My biggest problem was having to wrestle my
luggage into and out of the airports. I pack way too much
stuff.

I hope this is helpful. I cherish my time as Jennifer and

love to put myself in challenging (but safe) situations. I am
a better woman for it. I’m going to be flying as Jennifer a
lot more often.
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99
TGaming By Gloria Glamourpuss

100
 Once upon a time, well early nineteen eighties
actually, a young boy, a teenager really, had two
major interests in life, firstly dressing up in his
mothers and sisters clothes and wishing he was a girl,
and secondly playing video games. That was a long
time ago now, the boy grew up to be a man, decided
he didn’t like being a man and became the girl he had always wished he was,
and the world of video games changed just as radically too. Instead of shooting
down endless waves of aliens, or running round mazes eating dots players would
experience ever more complex scenarios, fantastical quests to save princesses,
realistic World War 2 battles, racing high performance cars around the worlds
greatest cities, and so
much more. So here I am
now, a forty something
T girl who still likes to
play video games, and
it’s the beginning of a
new year, so lets have a
look back at the last year
in gaming before this
year really gets started.

101
 The majority of 2008s big games shared something in common, the fact that they were sequels, just
new and improved versions of games we’ve played countless times before. How many times can
you play a Call of Duty, a Metal Gear Solid, a Gears of War or a Grand Theft Auto before it gets
boring? On top of that are these the kind of games u gurls really want to be playing, playing the part
of a macho man, sure it can be fun watching some fit guys arse as he runs around blowing things up,
but we don’t really need so many games so similar. And besides, apart from some tranny/shemale
jokes on one of Grand Theft Auto 4s radio stations I’d hardly call them transgender friendly. Not all
the sequels were testosterone drenched shooters though, 2008 saw the welcome return of quite a few
more gender neutral franchises.
The much under-rated Nintendo Wii brought us a couple of gems with
Mario Kart Wii, and Super Smash Bros Brawl, neither have extensive
single player games, but that’s not really the main attraction of games
like this. It’s just some simple arcade action that really shines in
multiplayer modes, and after all the times Princess Peach has been
kidnapped by Bowser, and rescued by Mario, its good to play as her and
kick their arses for a change.

Another girl showing the boys how things

are done was Lara Croft too, she may
not be as buxom as she once was, but her
latest adventure is up to the high standards
set when Crystal Dynamics took over the
franchise. Another returning franchise that
made a big impact was Guitar Hero, with its
World Tour, where you could be more than
just a Rock Chick, with the introduction of other instruments
you could start your own girl band.

102
Other franchises that hadn’t been seen for a while made
some welcome returns too, the bear and bird duo of Banjo
& Kazooie made their first outing for over six years. This
time mixing up its traditional platforming action with
some serious vehicle customization, this came in for some
pretty mixed reactions, but despite the changes made
to the gameplay it still retained the same feeling as its
predecessors. Fallout was another franchise that made a
long awaited return with some major differences, with ten
years since the release of Fallout 2 the franchise is now in
the hands of Bethesda softworks, who have brought the
game back using the engine used in the much acclaimed
Oblivion. This was a game of some serious depth, with
easily over one hundred hours of gameplay on the disc
and a more futuristic scenario to your average role playing
game makes it more accessible than a sword and sorcery
theme.

There were plenty of new names popped up in 2008 though, and some of the more notable ones took a
decidedly retro twist, the biggest of which was Little Big Planet. The game itself is nothing particularly
spectacular, just an average 2D platformer, but what make it special is the games level designing tools,
giving you limitless possibilities. Once you’ve created your levels you can upload them on to the Playstation
network and people can buy them. The 2D platforming continued across all major consoles with the Xbox
360 getting the exceptional Braid and the Wii getting Lost Winds, both available for download on their
respective networks. Both have a very quaint graphical style, and some excellent level designs, but Lost
Winds also uses, as the title would suggest, wind to help you on your way. Controlling the winds with the
Wii’s motion controls can be a little tricky to get the hang of, but once you’ve got them it adds a whole new
dimension to the game.

You’re probably thinking by now that there’s a whole load of games worthy of mentioning that I’ve
overlooked, and yes there have been plenty of good games that I’ve not mentioned. But you can only play
the yearly sporting franchises, the generic shooters, the licensed racing games, and so on so many times,
no matter how good they are, before they lose their attraction. The gaming market is reaching a point of
stagnation, which it seems to have been building to over the last few years, and every year there seems to
be less and less to get really excited about. The market is flooded with endless sequels and yearly updates
or the same games repackaged with a different name or characters or setting. In this day of high definition
super computers more effort is spent on production values than original ideas, and the sad thing is the public
just lap it up, they’ve got their nice shiny graphics, and don’t really care it’s the same old thing over again.
2009 doesn’t look like it’s going to make any big difference in the way things are going either, the few big
name game we’ve seen so far have all been sequels, who knows though, maybe there’s some hidden gems in
development somewhere that the publishers are keeping quiet about, fingers crossed.

103
 The Style
Council

S !
LT
SU
RE
104
C Copyright 2000 Steve ‘A’
OK, at last , the long awaited results.....
You voted in your......10’s.......
The premise was a simple one...
We’ve had man against machine.......
but NEVER in human History have we had........
( A TOTALLY friendly, warm, cuddly and not at all threatening.........)

GG v TG Fashion Showdown!!!
The premise is simple, each issue ONE garment is chosen, from which
each gurl has to ensemble an entire outfit, submit their selection to an
independant writer, who then creates the article, no cheating!, no con-
spiring.... just pure, raw......fashion savvy!
Last issue a Black and White Shoulder Bag of mine was chosen, and
from it two UNIQUE interpretations were created...
you came....
you voted......
you knew not which was the GG’s and which was the TG’s......
and so....by

57% it’s.......

TG!
105
OK, so, lets start the bidding with this beautiful Emilio-
Pucci Bag, sleek, stylish and perfect fare for a summers day
...... and its YELLOW!!!

...And what a way to start! Designer A has gone for a ‘girly’

look, kicking off with this delicate daisy chain necklace....

106
...... and teamed it with this GORGEOUS white mini-dress,
such a lovely design and fab detail o the hem.

107
 Carrying on the mellow yel-
low theme throughout, she
has gone for a bright yellow
belt to compliment the dress
perfectly.

Lastly, some cute lil sandals

to make for a lovely , fresh,
girly theme .

108
Same starting point, but Designer B has ‘kicked’ off with a dar-
ling pair of yellow and white heels...

109
 .... which compliment
the 50’s style dress that
is the main piece in this
ensemble.

She has them brought it

right up to date with this
stunning 3” white belt...

110
....Then added a delicate lil white
shrug and yellow paste jewellery to
keep the yellow and retro look
going throughout.

111
A
112
So, there you go, two completely
different styles, but which one floats
your boat? Designers A’s Girly Look
or Designer B’s Cute 50’s one?

Only you can decide so get voting

at:-

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/
lilboutique/

or simply write to me at:-

mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
The Style CALLING ALL
Council GG’S!!

Think your good?

Think you have Style?
Fancy a lil..................
Wager?
You know the deal, if
you would like to pit
your wits against our
TG Style Guru then get
in touch. This months
challenge is to develop
an outfit from this deli-
cate lil black shrug.

Write to me at
mandytaylor6662000
titling your mail “Bring It On!!”
and let battle commence!!!

113
 PICTURE
B
A
S
Q
U E R
E N N
In Glory W I
COMPETITION114
C�n�ra��la�i�n�
Lena
115
Ask
The
Girls
116
 I do so hate the term ‘Agony Aunt’, to me it
lends itself to a matronly figure tut-tutting at
you and unleashing their ‘wisdom’ in a one-
way torrent.
So, this isn’t an Agony Aunt column, this is you,

TG
chewing the fat with a few friends, sounding
MANDY out your buddies over a glass or three of
Chardonney.
I have had the great fortune over the years to
have had such a diverse group of friends, that if
I ever had a problem I knew there was SOME-
ONE out there I could ask....this has ranged
from the mundane ( what lippy goes with that
top? ) to the more complex like..... “ i’ve just
taken a PVC dress out the packet and it looks
like an inner-tube!!! how on earth do I get it

TS
shiny??!! “ ( I do not lie!!!!! )
So, now I felt that it might be an idea to get a
NICOLA few friends together and see if we might be able
to help you iron out the creases in your lives.
and I do mean ANY creases!! to this end I
thought it might pay to have a small spectrum
of views, so each issue you can ask advise from
a TG, a TS AND a GG!!! so if they cant solve it
NO-ONE can ( I even have a few suitable guys
to hand if the need arises! ) so come one, come
all.....

GG
LYNN so......need a top up?........

117
Q Okay. Um...geez I hope this doesn’t sound stupid. Well, I’m in
my early teen years, and a bio girl. Problem is I’ve felt like I
should have been born with a male body for my entire life. I kept
it quiet, but now I want to come out to my family. They are
liberal and very open-minded. Two of my friends and my sister
and cousin know. Everyone was great, except my sister wasn’t
exactly thrilled. She wanted a sister, not a brother.

Well, I really want to tell my folks. They’ve always said that

they would love me no matter what, with special empisize on if I
was gay (i’m not). I wrote a heartfelt letter that I am planning on
giving to my mom when before I go to bed. Then she will have to
time to read it and tell me what she thinks. But I’m really scared,
like maybe she won’t accept me. And then I wonder if I don’t act
‘masculine’ enough for them to believe me! So I’ve started having
doubts and all these stupid jitters. What I’m most worried about
is if I’m too young to know, or that my family would think so.
Help?

A What you are experiencing is what many have to

face with this condition, the doubts and the need
to be open about it. I would suggest that you do tell
your parents but tell them you have doubts about
your gender. Explain you think you should have
been born a male but at this stage you are confused
and you really want their support in finding out
who you are.

118
 Ask them to help find someone who you can talk to, to explore
your thoughts and feeling. Ask them if they will become
involved in helping you come to the right decisions and follow
what course of treatment, if any, you need.

You are their child, basically asking for their help and who
can deny that. I know that many have been rejected by their
families, me included, but your parents sound far more open
minded than many and love you for who you are. You do not
want to force yourself down any route and into acting one
or another just to please people. By asking for help to discover
who you truly are removes this pressure. You don’t need the
hassle of conforming to one gender or the other. Just spend time
discussing your feelings, in depth. Be brutally honest with
yourself is the number one priority. Only by being honest with
yourself can you truly find out who you really are.

Best of luck,

Nicola

A I think writing a letter is an excellent idea but think

through carefully how you write it as letters can be read
in more than one way and something you might mean
in a specific way could be mis-read in a totally different
way.

Also, I would put in your letter that although you’ve written this
initial broaching of the subject, you would very much like to discuss
it with them in person and would welcome any questions they may
have so that both sides get to understand the other sides feelings.

119
Based on what you have said about them being liberal and open-
minded and the fact that they have mentioned they will love you
no matter what, leads me to believe that they believe there’s more to
you than you’re letting on and that is a good thing as it sounds
as though they are open and loving enough to let you know in a
roundabout way that no matter who or what you are or believe you
are, they will be there for you and support you.

Hopefully by being able to discuss this with them in person, this

may allow you to help make up your mind about the person you
want to be or just confirm what you have believed all along.

I say go for it and if you’re folks are as great as you say they are,
continue to discuss things with them every step of the way and
allow them to support you for each of those steps.

Good luck hon

A I think that you are pretty much answering a lot of

your own questions here.

You can feel the conflict inside yourself, but are still
unsure whether it is a gender issue or an age ‘thang’

Your parents ,too ,seem to have their finger on the pulse and are
doing what any self-respecting parent would do, and leaving
the door open for you to make your own choices.
The other thing that you do have nowadays is ‘realisation’.
I am fast approaching 41 and when I was your age ‘transgen-
der’ and Gender Dysphoria was virtually unknown.

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