IM OK.

YOURE OK

Book Review on

AMIT PATHAK

IM OK. YOURE OK

Im OK Youre OK: A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis was published in 1969 and
went on to sell over 15 million copies in nearly 25 languages. The exact details of Dr. Eric
Berne, Transactional Analysis, and Harriss view are seen here. This page deals primarily with
the success of the book and its impact.
At the very outset, it took minimum 3 readings to understand the book fully, I am making it easy
for you to understand it in the very first reading, I hope I am successful. This is the only book
based on psychology that I have managed to finish. This one is on Transactional Analysis. It says
how a single person is actually a combination of three ego states - parent, child and adult. And
effective communication is only possible among individuals if they happen to be in supporting
ego states at the time of conversation. It gave me good examples of

How we behave and why are our actions such that cause problems.
How we can control our actions.
How would a mature adult react, and
How would the child inside you react and how would the parent inside you react to
situations.

Are you okay? That's probably the most important question anyone will ever answer, and Dr.
Thomas Harris's groundbreaking bestseller has already helped millions respond in the
affirmative. IM OK YOURE OK is the product of a search to find answers for people who
are looking for hard facts in answer to their questions about how the mind operates, why we do
what we do, and how we can stop doing what we do if we wish.
Using TA, which confronts the individual with the fact that he or she is responsible for what
happens in the future, Dr. Harries explained how to distinguish the three active elements that
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make up everyone's personality(Parent, Adult, and Child), as well as the four life positions
underlying people's actions. Best of all, his theories are presented in wonderfully easy-tounderstand language, and there's practical advice on how to change harmful behavior. Anyone
can lead a happier, more effective life and better understand friends and family.
How to gain control of your future, no matter what has happened in the past that is the promise
Dr. Harris holds out in his well-illustrated book in thirteen chapters. The author says that most
people have come to accept that psychiatry is a good thing, but exactly what it is and what it does
has not been made clear, especially as the words psychiatrists use seems to mean different things
to different people. Dr. Harries has taken up the challenge in this book, in simple (though not
simplistic) terms.
Dr. Harries says that people do not have to be mentally ill to benefit from reading his book; for it
has applications in marital relations, bringing up children, understanding adolescent behavior and
time management among other things. The tools at his disposal are the tools of TA. All of us are
familiar with the term childlike behavior; the author says that the child within us reacts
primarily by way of expressing emotions and feelings. As the individual matures, the adult
begins to differentiate between life as it was taught to him (parental control), life as he wished it
(childlike) and life as it really is. Everything that the childs parents did and said in his early
years becomes part of him. In the adult conflict arises when parental data conflicts with his
desires and with reality as he perceives it.
The goal of TA is to restore to the individual his freedom of choice, the freedom to change. Most
people are not even aware that they can change; it is the purpose of TA to show them how. The

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book explores the concept and idea that we humans act according to one of three basic ego
states: Parent, Adult, or Child.

Dr. Harries believes that it's never too late to change your ego state. This book has techniques
which work well on an individual, couple, or group level written in language that's easy to
understand with its systematic approach which can be easily followed by people of any age
group.
What makes people behave the way they do? Can anyone analyze 12 billion brain cells to
determine how and why the mind functions the way it does? How it that people is being similar
in physiological terms, are yet so different in psychological terms?
Man has a multiple nature, there is a constant conflictbetween good & evil, between the urges
& restricting forces, between thoughts & feelings, head & heart, soul & body, lower nature &
upper nature, inner core & outer shell , why? Is it what is life of Mahabharata?
History shows that there is an element of goodness in human nature which manifests in various
forms as justice, wisdom, love etc. It is also true that there is an evil side of human nature which
manifests in form of violence, deceit, crime and disease. The good is always at war with
something, what is that something? Various such questions have been plaguing the mankind
hundreds of thinkers, analysts, philosophers, behavioral scientists, psychologists, and
psychiatrists have been coming out various theories, to answer the questions. Modern Scientists
such as; Freud, Adler, and Jung, did considerable work in this field and came out with their

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theories which were major scientific breakthroughs in their times and laid the basic foundations
on which one could proceed further.
Problems of the world are the problems of the societies, communities, and of individuals who are
the constituent members. If individuals can change, the course of world can change! Why do we
do what we do? Can we stop doing what we normally do if we wish to? The book says yes! The
answer is Transactional Analysis, which is a tool to map the blue print of the mind. Dr Harris and
Berne take over from here. The theory of TA, as I have understood is as follows;

The unit of social intercourse is a transaction which comprises of a stimulus, and a

response. Both these can be verbal or nonverbal communications which indicate a

transaction. If the transactions are analyzed, one can analyze the human nature.
Parent (P), Adult (A), and Child(C), are three parts of any persons personality.
Parent, is the collection of recordings of unquestioned & imposed set of external events
accepted as the truth. This is the ''taught concept ''of life. P can be parents, teachers,
elders, authorities, religious heads or anyone whose benedictions and commands are
accepted without question. P is judgmental in an imitative manner seeking to live by and
enforce borrowed standards and ideas. The recordings are permanent, these cannot be

erased.
Child, is the recordings of internal events in response to the external events. The feelings,
emotions, and interpretations/classifications of experiences. This is the Felt concept of
life. The actions and reactions are abrupt on the basis of pre-logical thinking, poorly

differentiated & unanalyzed perceptions. These recordings too cannot be erased.

P & C recordings cannot be erased, but one can choose to turn them off!

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Adult, is the thought concept of life. Based on exploration, data collection, processing,
and then arriving at a decision or conclusion. A draws upon the recordings of P and C

to analyze the variables, and then takes a decision based on testing and analysis.
Every person is structurally alike, everyone has 3 parts of P A & C, what makes him or
her different is;
o The content of the recordings of P and C sections.
o The extent of contamination, overlap of 3 sections, i.e, the composition of the
personality and the percentage constituent of each section.
o The exclusions, the deliberate blocks placed between different sections.

A person having high contamination/content of P in his personality make-up, is likely to

be prejudiced, has lot of pre-conceived notions which prevail over reason.

A typical P dominated personality is one who is traditional, god-fearing, bound by

customs & rituals, work-to-rule, play-by-book kind of person.

A person with high content of C, on the negative side has delusions and hallucinations,
unexplained phobia and insecurity/inferiority complexes. On the positive side, he has
childlike curiosity, creativity, ability to laugh, play and enjoy, desire to explore,

wanderlust, but may also be obstinate, tantrums.

A person with high content of A to the extent that P & C are utterly sublimated, is amoral,
has no scruples, no feelings of guilt or remorse, self-centered, analytical, cool, ruthless,
non-conformist, & utterly flexible in self-interest.

Once the concept of the composite personality is understood, and the typicalitys of each section,
then it is easy to anlyse the transactions to determine from which section of the personality is the
stimulus coming and to which part of the personality of the respondent is it aimed at. If the
respondent gives correct response, correctly aimed, then it becomes a parallel transaction, there
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is no conflict, communications can continue unhindered. If the response comes from a wrong
part of the personality, and/or is aimed at a section of personality different from the one that gave
the stimulus, the transaction is crossed, there is a conflict, and communications break down.
As person I learnt a lot from this reading. It is an excellent book and highly recommended for
people who want a better understanding of themselves and others. This practical guide to TA is a
unique approach to your problems. Hundreds of thousands of people have found this phenomenal
breakthrough in psychotherapy a turning point in their lives. In sensible, non-technical language
Thomas A Harris explains how to gain control of yourself, your relationships and your future no matter what happened in the past.
This book is the solution for everyone who faces communication problems, who feels being
cheated, who generally cannot express or is over-expressive, someone who has difficulty to deal
with "difficult people"
For me, it explains why we sometimes do some really stupid things! For another, you realize
why somebody else or why you yourself have certain pre-set notions about things. Going back to
our childhood, what have we been taught to understand?

AMIT PATHAK