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Introduction:
feedback in the
process approach
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which is better than those first attempts. This is reflected in the fact
(remarked on by Leki 1990: 58) that much of the research on the subject
is about how feedback affects learners' revision of their work (e.g.
Fathman and Whalley 1990, Ferris 1997), and that most of the advice
given for teachers was that they should intervene during the writing
process so that the learners can use their comments in improving further
drafts (Reid 1994; Tribble 1996).
Providing this type of feedback during the writing process involves the
teacher in assuming different rolessuch as 'audience', 'assistant'
(Tribble 1996: 119), 'consultant' (Dheram 1995: 160), or 'reader' (Keh
1990: 301). These are in addition to the more traditional teacher role of
an evaluator of learners' work.
Problems with For a teacher to adopt some or all of these roles will often necessitate a
multiple quite considerable change in the manner in which he or she teaches.
teacher-roles Changes of this type are, however, frequently restricted by a variety of
factors, such as institutional requirements, the wider educational culture,
and the teacher's own personal beliefs, to name but a few (Clarke 1994).
These factors will often combine to produce a situation where, even if a
teacher is able to fulfil the roles of reader, collaborator, assistant, etc., he
or she is also forced into the role of ultimate evaluator. I suspect that the
majority of EFL composition teachers are further required to evaluate
their students' work at least once during a course. In my view, this
overriding and inescapable role of evaluator, in addition to the teacher's
status as the 'expert', adds an authoritarian dimension to the teacher's
attempts at collaboration, which leaves the learner with a fundamental
lack of choice when it comes to revising his or her work based on the
teacher's comments. At this point I should mention that I am primarily
concerned with written feedback on content and organization rather
than on surface-level errors, as these areas are more central to the
context of my research, which was academic writing at university level.
Of course, sensitive teachers in their role of collaborators would try not
to couch their feedback in overtly authoritative or threatening ways,
following advice such as that from Diffley and Lapp (1988, cited in
White and Arndt 1991: 125) to 'respond as a genuine and interested
reader rather than as a judge and evaluator'. None the less, the fact
remains that at the end of the day (or semester, course, etc.) judges and
evaluators are exactly what most teachers are, and the students know it.
I will illustrate my point using an example of mid-draft feedback
presented in White and Arndt's book on process writing (ibid.: 126). The
teacher's written response to a first draft on 'Family New Year
celebrations in your country' took the form of a letter to the student,
which included praise and reader-styled comments, e.g. 'I really enjoyed
reading your draft. You have some good expressions...'. The letter then
proceeds to make suggestions such as 'Why don't you begin with that
sentence?', 'Now, at this point you can tell your reader what night it is',
and 'Then you can explain what New Year's Eve means in Uruguay,
how ..., and 'You can end by ...'. The advice given is never threatening,
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James Muncie
and its content seems to have been very well thought ourexactly the
sort of thing any teacher would wish his or her students to take on board.
The student's final draft is then presented to us, incorporating all the
suggestions which the teacher had made. The draft is, therefore, much
better than the one before, and 'indicates the benefits of the work which
had gone into it' (ibid.: 135). The exercise has been a valuable one
according to the short-term aim, discussed above, of improving drafts.
However, it is hardly surprising that the text is better than the previous
draftafter all, it is now a product of the organizational skills of an
expert. This example, along with the many other studies which also show
how the quality of texts improves after teacher feedback (see Ferris
1995), can be viewed as demonstrating that either because of the
knowledge that the person giving them the 'advice' will eventually be
evaluating the paper, or perhaps simply out of respect for the teacher's
greater skill at writing, when reacting to teacher feedback on mid-drafts,
learners (consciously or otherwise) do not employ their faculty of
choice.
This lack of choice means that in producing the revised draft, the learner
does not have to decide what to do, only (at best) how to do it. This
implies a lack of critical processing and evaluation of the feedback. The
result of not having to deal with the feedback at this extra, evaluatory
and decision-making level of reasoning can be argued to reduce, in turn,
the impact of the feedback and revision process on the long-term
improvement in writing ability.
Reconsidering our
aims
I mentioned above that the overwhelming picture which one gets from
the literature on the subject is that the aim of EFL composition classes is
a short-term oneto facilitate improvement in drafts. Naturally, teacher
intervention is the most effective way of achieving this. If, however, we
reconsider our aims to incorporate long-term improvement in writing
ability, the usefulness of this short-term technique becomes less obvious.
It is arguable that greater learner choice, albeit accompanied by less
successful results in the short term, will eventually produce learners who
are able to function more autonomously and with a greater degree of
self-confidence in their writing than would otherwise have been the case.
We could also add to our aims the general educational principles that
teachers 'have only been really successful when they have made
themselves redundant', and that they ought to 'encourage learner
autonomy, not teacher dependence' (Lewis 1993: 188). Providing middraft feedback which has the effect of reducing the necessity of learners
having to choose and discriminate would not appear to be the best way
of realizing these principles.
Alternatives to
mid-draft teacher
feedback
49
avoid the problems stated, then it is better provided by the writer's peers
than by the teacher. When this is the case, the feedback is more likely to
be perceived to be coming from people who are genuine collaborators
and interested readers of the writer's work, roles which are unaffected
by any overshadowing role of evaluator. This being so, the writer has
complete choice over which comments to utilize, and to what extent, as
well as being faced with the problem of how to utilize them. It could be
argued that the quality of the feedback received from peers would not
be the same as that received from the teacher, but any feedback which is
honest fulfils the purpose of providing the writer with some reader
awareness. The provision of structured feedback sheets and other forms
of learner training also go a long way to alleviate that risk (even, and in
fact especially in the eyes of the learners themselves who, in my
experience, come to value peer feedback sessions as one of the most
useful parts of the writing cycle).
Results from a questionnaire given out to 29 upper-intermediate
composition students at a Japanese university tend to support these
ideas. The questionnaire was designed to elicit students' attitudes to and
use of different feedback types in the writing process. When asked to
rate the value of peer feedback sessions in 'making you a better writer',
on a scale of 1 ('not at all useful') to 5 ('extremely useful'), the average
rate was 4.03 (sd 0.66). Evidence of the use made of the feedback from
one session showed that of 29 students, 26 (90 per cent) made
amendments to their texts as a result of the feedback they received.
At the same time, 17 of those 26 (65 per cent) reported that they did not
use all the recommendations of their peers, which would indicate that
the students were discriminating in their incorporation of the feedback.
In contrast, in answer to the question 'If the teacher gave you feedback
on your second draft, would you use it in writing your final draft, and if
so, how?', only 6 out of the 29 (21 per cent) responded with some kind of
'conditional yes', e.g. 'Yes, if I agreed with it'. The majority (79 per cent)
did not indicate that they would exercise any kind of discrimination or
choice in utilizing a teacher's mid-draft feedback. Naturally, these results
must be viewed with some caution, especially as they do not reflect
actual use of feedback, only students' perception of its use, or in the case
of the last question, how they might use it. Nevertheless, they do serve to
lend some support to the belief that when faced with feedback from
peers or teachers, learners would exercise much less critical choice when
dealing with teacher feedback. Whether this is due simply to a desire to
please the teacher in order to get better marks, or whether it is because
the learners have greater respect for the teacher's skill at writing is not at
issue here, as both cases reflect a lack of the kind of reflection and
critical evaluation of the feedback which would be likely to result in
internalization and a positive long-term effect.
Using teacher
feedback
50
All this is not to say that teachers of writing have no role to play beyond
that of a classroom organizer. The fact that the teacher is more
knowledgeable than the learners about the linguistic and rhetorical
James Muncie
51
References
Clarke, M. 1994. 'The dysfunctions of the theory/
practice discourse'. TESOL Quarterly 28/1:
9-26.
Dheram, P. 1995. 'Feedback as a two-bullocked
cart'. ELT Journal 49/2: 160-8.
Diffley, F. and R. Lapp. 1988. 'Responding to
student writing: teacher feedback for extensive
revision'. Workshop presented at TESOL
Chicago.
Fathman, A. and E. Walley. 1990. 'Teacher
response to student writing: focus on form
versus content' in B. Kroll (ed.).
52
James Muncie
The author
.
.,
. .
,
._.,.,
currently a Lecturer in English
Language Education at Hiroshima University. He
has a n M S c in
Applied Linguistics from the
University of Edinburgh, and has experience of
teaching English in Greece, Portugal, and the
UK, as well as in Japan. Current interests include
the teaching of composition and oral fluency,
a n d the effects of wider learner purpose on
learning.
J a m e s M u n c i e ls
Email: <muncie@ipc.hiroshima-u.ac.jp>
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