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miroslaw balka at the tate.this has nothing to do with anything.the unilever series---in the tate modern's turbine hall "how it is" until 4-5-10.it is fair to say, it is holocaust memorial, or genocide.moved by him walking through auschwitz, near his home in poland. speaking of beckett, and their unintended similarities.and feeling very much the stark minimalism, implicit after genocide.and think of genocides of women. and then also the austerity of the veil, and the feminine,unattainable. the mystery of darkness, and being a child, and carmelites, therese.read about the book Rage Against the Veil and wish too to rage against its opposite, of a suicide, andalienations, and the extremities of existence.of all the foolhardy ways of youth, revolting at freud, and then revolting at sartre, and reveling insimone.the smog is thick upon us in los angeles, clouding our thinking.i think of the british petroleum gas flares, and the few bits of information that might string us alonguntil tomorrow.as a child, i was to keep my arms covered, against sin. and when i wanted a summer sundress, it was aterrible thing to negotiate the innocence of my shoulders, and at once the immense desecration of formwas enacted in my mind, as women were incapable of priestliness, with a rational beyond my thirteenyears, as though life or bodies bad.and so quietly i disbelieved, unwilling to argue hopeless causes, equality.and so with this, from this, in mourning, not enough cloth could shroud me from the world when ayear's isolation, or incarceration held me from the real.can't have any more words or opinions anymore. existence sheer trauma.saw cam powell.he has my genocide art piece on his wall.he said, when people walk in, it is the first thing they see. they have to stop and look at it, and see theworld differently.i told him, cam, its like i gave you my pain, and you give us your pain, in music.i spoke of hangings, and then he spoke of human snakes and recited the new lyrics. i could feel thewords were so close to the sea, where he goes. and then also close to my father, who smithed wordsand spoke some.that silence be the best i could give.i read karen parker's UN work on compensation for victims of war rape, and wonder, rape is war, uponwomen. jugun ianfu. a body of international law supports compensation for sexual crimes. and of thesexual crimes at abu ghraib, of the torched girl, and within halliburton.forty lashes for wearing pants.what money pays.how it is.and dylan thomas rage, rage against the dying of the light.and that i saw my brother, and one returns, and chaos in between. and more now silent as the settingsun, and the rising sun, and the nowhere and one book, texts for nothing.i would never hurt women, and i do not even wish to postulate there is such a thing. that's where wewent wrong. treating women as though they were more or less than people, and men the same, as if there is such a thing.this project hurts my mind.napalm--white phosphorus--lambs.a life sentence of torture in the clarity of too much knowledge.that women live, by whatever means necessary. humdililah! jugun ianfu.
 
and what is this heart that is curious beyond the immediate.deep back into the black pit of ash, or the kerosene.for doctor darabi, and for her sister. for hirsi.what is god, beyond death or pain? brutalization? submission? himsa?that we live to speak, and speech becomes our death, and silence answering all the riddles of himsa.as i study this and lately, the most recurring feeling i have is of a lamb led to slaughter. i feel the knifefrom left to right, of humiliation, bloodletting, and weakness.some days more than others.and by pantomiming the feeling, i restore the mind to the actual, in which i am not dead. before, it was the deadbolt gun to the temple i felt, to numb the pain before slaughter, at a particular corner of yucca near wilcox, where must have been murder. there were many murders there.and the lotus heart came and went, and the empty wind heart before it.i think of the auschwitz drawings of the women sadists, who beat mercilessly their prey. and sovividly, the telegram to roosavelt flashes before my mind three times a day. the boats wandering.and that a return to nihilism might extinguish the suffering of compassion.
hijab wiki redux
 jilbab--cloaks, in indonesia means hijab, or pre-islamic head coveringskhumur--over necklineskhimar or shayla loose @shouldersafgan chadrisaudi arabia--more complete coverage burka -orig in pakistan, salafi adherencekhumar worn under the jilbabhadith--sayings accepted by sunniscover jilbab (cloak)salafihijab--curtain cover veil---defined as covering everything but face and hands in publicveil that which separates man from godkhimar---old word for cloth covering headmahram--reciprocal condition relating to familial or marriageable statusform allowable escorts when traveling proxemicsedward t. hallhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proxemicssocial space normsaurasrada--wetnurse mother  produces kin-tie, changes marriageabilityhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding_fatwaconsanguinitykoran cover except for family, male servants free of needs, children
 
do not strike feet to call attention to hidden ornaments (heels?)hygenic---allah makes pure and spotless women who stay at home and pray, and who do not comportthemselves publicly for display as of oldhygenic values and their excesses esp. re:women, ethnosquite excited to see thisveil predates islam and was a significant social status clue indicating wealth, that a woman need notwork but stay inside, secluded and veiledre:barthes and women expressing the family wealth---visible sign.see leila ahmed---harvard divinity schoolhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leila_Ahmedso the interruption offerred by the west----then disrupts the civic display of affluence, of which thefemale is the signcultural relativist flexibilityveils stipulated for mohammed's wives only to preserve their inviolability627 CE other women take the veil to be like mohammed's wivessee as similar to the convent systemislamic revival increase in wear turkey, tunisia ban in university and schoolscolor--tribein Iran---young women wear transparent hijabs instead of chadors to protest but keep within laws of staterich enough to be idleislamic emirate--face covered as women's face a source of corruptioniranafganistanS.A.informal non-governmental coersionin france women wear veils---77% to protect from physical threatswomen unable to state true feelings40 lashes for wearing pants in sudan capitalazar nifisi rage against the veilwrites that even little boys have the feeling it is okay to tell women to wear ithttp://books.google.com/books?id=Wyq3AAAAIAAJ&q=rage+against+the+veil&dq=rage+against+the+veil&ei=do6fS473OI_clQSVjuyhDw&cd=1how is this similar to they (M&F) that tell me to wear heels, miniskirt, etc

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