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Acknowledgements
I am grateful to Rob Kosberg and his team at Best Seller
Publishing for helping me create this transformational
book.
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION ...........................................................................................8
CHAPTER 1 OUR MIND AND OUR BELIEFS LIMITING BELIEF
FUNDAMENTALS ...................................................................................... 13
WHAT MAKES THIS BOOK DIFFERENT? .................................................... 14
THE IMPORTANCE OF A STRONG FOUNDATION ....................................... 15
HOW TO APPROACH INFORMATION IN THIS BOOK................................. 16
THE KEY TO LASTING CHANGES.................................................................. 17
OUR MIND ........................................................................................................... 18
HOW OUR MIND WORKS ................................................................................ 22
OUR BELIEFS ...................................................................................................... 29
HOW WE FILTER EXPERIENCES .................................................................... 32
WHAT IS A DISEMPOWERING OR LIMITING BELIEF? ......................... 36
HOW A DISEMPOWERING LIMITING BELIEF IS BORN ........................ 39
WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE SOMETHING YOU DISLIKE ............................ 46
CHAPTER 2 WHY WE BLOCK OUT THE GOOD NOT FEELING
DESERVING AND WORTHY ................................................................... 50
THE GATEKEEPER OF POSITIVE CHANGE .................................................. 52
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? .................................................. 55
I SAVED A LIFE BUT STIFLED MINE............................................................. 56
IDENTIFY YOUR FIRST SABOTEURS............................................................. 60
SPECIAL NOTE: .................................................................................................. 63
CHAPTER 3 THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SCARCITY MINDSET ..... 64
SCARCITY OR OPPORTUNITY ......................................................................... 69
START BREAKING YOUR SCARCITY PATTERNS ...................................... 70
CLIENT SESSION ................................................................................................ 72
CHAPTER 4 I AM ALONE THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE ......... 76
FAR BEYOND THE PHYSICAL ......................................................................... 77
THE MAIN REASON WHY HUMANS SUFFER ............................................. 78
THE TOXIC TRIO THAT CREATES SUICIDE ................................................ 79
THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE .......................................................................... 80
THE LACK OF SELF LOVE ............................................................................... 85
CHAPTER 5 SECRETS TO LASTING SELF ESTEEM ......................... 86
SELF-ESTEEM INFLUENCED FROM AN EARLY AGE................................ 88
Introduction
I have been a Master Hypnotherapist and Master NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner since 2010. I
was introduced to this field after my corporate life came to
a halt in my early forties, when I began to experience
painful seizures and my left arm and left leg became
partially paralyzed after a small stroke.
It was a very painful and intimidating experience as I
became unable to move freely or even complete simple
everyday tasks. My body was shaking, and I had
inexplicable emotional outbreaks. I didnt recognize
myself. I became physically and mentally incapable of
taking care of myself, and incapable of functioning in my
engineering career. My life as I knew it ended.
Before I hit the bottom, I experienced pain for many
years, both emotional and physical. To find solutions, I
tried many things from yoga courses to psychotherapy and
medications for over twenty years. They all helped to some
degree, but I was not able to sustain a happy and healthy
life despite the many avenues explored. I had temporary
relief here and there, but the problems kept coming back,
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Chapter 1
Our Mind and Our Beliefs
Limiting Belief Fundamentals
Despite years or even decades of hard work and effort,
many people may find it difficult to reach their goals and
desires in life. Goals and desires tend to be universal in
nature as almost every person is interested in finding a
loving relationship, obtaining perfect health and happiness,
becoming physically and emotionally well and making
more money while having time left to spend with family
and friends.
All these different ideas are possible to achieve for all of
us, but the majority of the population doesnt know the
reasons why things are not happening for them. There are a
few different reasons, but the biggest culprit is because
most people travel through life with heavy baggage, not
realizing that much of it should be left behind. This
baggage slows them down from moving forward, and it
gets in the way of progress.
The baggage I am talking about is the unresolved
negative emotions and destructive beliefs people carry
subconsciously, sabotaging them daily outside of their
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get in the way of it, we will pay a big price. Most people
think that by avoiding change they will find peace, but as
you could suspect that thought is driven by denial,
indecision and fear. Good feelings come from
accomplishments and positive changes, not from
stagnation.
It is true that change initially comes with some
discomfort, but being stagnant is guaranteed to create pain
in the long run. To avoid this, we must be willing to accept
change, adjust and learn new things. These changes and
learnings need to take place at a subconscious level! I will
show you how that can be done.
"You cannot change your destination overnight, but you
can change your direction overnight."
Jim Rohn
Our Mind
We may know about the mind-body connection, but I
have found that most people (and even studies) focus
mainly on our physical aspect. The physical part of us is
very important; exercise, diet, nutrition and good rest are
much needed in order to feel good and have the energy and
health to enjoy life. However, I have learned the great
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storage, and it does not care what it records; it does not get
emotionally involved. Just like the satellite box does not
care if it records a cooking show or a war movie. We are
the ones who experience emotions, and our mind pays
attention to those emotions.
If we like something and feel good in the event, the
mind files it in the Happy category. If we experience
something unpleasant, our mind takes note of it and puts it
in the Needs work category.
Here is something very important to be aware of. Our
mind wants us to feel good at all times, so it suppresses
negative events and emotions as long as it can. As we move
through life, later our mind pulls old events from the
Needs Work category and presents them to us for
resolution. Most people run from these inside messages and
have no idea that these are happening for specific reasons.
Our mind has a very deep understanding of our true
potential and journey, and when we deviate from that path,
and we neglect to learn the necessary lessons, it will send
us signals to direct us and guide us.
To best understand things lets call our subconscious
mind our imagination." Our imagination brings us many
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since you are hungry like a wolf. It might show you the
wolf because you are a lone wolf, and that lifestyle may not
fit you.
These messages vary based on the individual. The same
image and message can represent something different for
the next person. I will give you many real life examples
throughout the book what these lessons are and how our
mind communicates them to us.
These messages are never expressed negatively, and
they are not meant to be mean or hurtful. They are always
presented with love and the desire for us to improve, learn,
and have a good life. The lack of awareness is what causes
humans to ignore these messages and continue to be in
emotional pain.
Once they understand this and learn the necessary
positive lessons, the old pain is released, and it is not
presented anymore!
Here is an example of how people miss the positive
learning by focusing on the wrong thing. You can see and
hear this everywhere. I asked several people after they
experienced something unpleasant, what they learned and
took away from that event. Unfortunately, almost every
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Our Beliefs
What the mind of man can conceive and truly believe, it
can achieve, said Napoleon Hill in his famous book:
Think and Grow Rich. I have learned to appreciate this
statement, and I have learned this to be true.
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We may not realize this, but our beliefs write the script
to our lives!
A well-known example for a disempowering belief is the
story of the elephant chained to small wooden stake in the
ground. The moment the elephant feels the chain tightening
between his leg and a wooden stake, he stops moving and
stays where he is. Why is this? When he was young, he was
tethered to a concrete pole, and he learned that he could not
move beyond a certain point. Once he accepted this reality,
he stopped fighting. Today, he could easily pull the wooden
stake out of the ground and walk away, but he was
conditioned to believe he could only go so far. Now that
conditioning and belief is his limitation and his reality.
Similarly, circus fleas only jumps as high as the top of
the jar, because when they were trained there was a hard lid
on the jar, and they hit their heads if they jumped too high.
They learned to jump only up to a certain height to avoid
pain and now they are conditioned to jump slightly below
where the lid used to be.
Are we humans any different? No! We move through
life based on what we consider true; what we believe and
what we dont. Whatever limitations we learned in the past
we also engraved in our mind that anything above those
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can ask yourself these two questions each time you feel
negative emotions or thoughts that are not pleasing.
1. What does this mean / say about the outside world
/ other people?
2. What does this mean / say about you?
Write down the answers you get for each question. Dare
to express honestly, even if it sounds strange or like
whining." Dont allow your own conditioning to interfere
with being honest with yourself. This is your chance to
decode your own self-talk and thoughts.
The answers you get for the first question will express
some feelings and beliefs about the world, and the second
will express some feelings and beliefs directly about you.
You might get something like: the world is unfair," life
is hard," or people are mean." The answers to your
second question might be: I am not appreciated," or I
am not good enough." Remember these answers.
Throughout the book, I explain what these statements mean
and how they present problems.
We have a going joke with my hypnosis trainer friends
any time we utter statements that are possible
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Chapter 2
Why We Block Out the Good Not
Feeling Deserving and Worthy
I would like to show you how to find some of the hidden
blocks your mind holds and how to bring them to the
surface, so that you can become familiar with them. From
now on, I will talk about specific negative thought patterns
and negative beliefs, what they do and how they show up in
life.
This chapter is about the first important building block
of self-worth and self-esteem, explained in terms and
expressions that may not be familiar to everyone. The terms
are simple, but we dont use them in our daily lives in this
form, but our subconscious mind does.
Our subconscious mind speaks a unique language.
Throughout my coaching career and years of
participating in events, I have met many people who were
talented and had everything it took to be successful and
happy, but somehow they managed to self-sabotage and
turn down offers and opportunities. Some of these seemed
like a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
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was surprised, but I told him that this is how it works, and
thats how our mind speaks to us.
I worked with another client who had a rough childhood
with abusive parents. Nothing was working out for him, so
he came to see me. He did not feel safe to enter a
relationship; his job situation was less than ideal and
overall, he was unhappy with his life. We talked, and he
was very familiar with the concept of disempowering
beliefs and he flat out said: I guess, I dont deserve a
good life.
These statements come from a very deep place, and
should never be discredited. They are gifts of the
subconscious mind, which are not always presented readily.
We need to learn to capture them, write them down and
resolve them as they create problems for us.
During my initial client interviews, I found that almost
every one of them had these beliefs. When I explained to
them that they can have a life that is happy and
fulfilling, many of them expressed hesitation, because it
sounded too good to be true. Is it really too good to be
true or are they feeling undeserving and unworthy of this
new and happy life? I think you know the answer!
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I am worthless.
I dont matter.
I am not important.
I dont deserve a good life.
I deserve a bad life.
I dont deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be unhappy.
I am not worthy of love.
I am not worthy of success.
I am not worthy of money.
I am worthy of happiness.
One client said this: Because I dont deserve to be
stood up for; no one else will stand up for me, and I
cant stand up for myself, because I am not worth it.
This statement had both deserving and worthiness issues in
it.
There are many possible answers. These beliefs may
sound simple, but they run very deep in our neurology and
can be very damaging.
If you had to do the minds job for a day and you had to
honor these beliefs, wouldnt you go crazy? How could you
give a person money, when they dont feel worthy of it?
How could you give them the necessary love, when they
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Special Note:
According to my research, the belief: I dont matter is
very serious. This belief can suggest deep issues, and it can
also greatly contribute to feelings of suicide. I will talk
more about that in Chapter 4.
How much we feel we deserve and feel we are worth in
our core is going to determine the upper limit of our
success!
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