The Story So Far Play Therapy

The Story So Far
of related interest
Childrens Stories in Play Therapy
Ann Cattanach
ISBN 1 85302 362 0
Play Therapy
Where the Sky Meets the Underworld
Ann Cattanach
ISBN 1 85302 211 X
Play Therapy with Abused Children

Ann Cattanach
ISBN 1 85302 193 8
Communicating with Children and Adolescents

Action for Change
Edited by Anne Bannister and Annie Huntington

ISBN 1 84310 125 8
The Story So Far

Play Therapy Narratives
Edited by Ann Cattanach
Jessica Kingsley Publishers

London and Philadelphia
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form
(including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or
not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written
permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the
Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London, England W1P 9HE.
Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this
publication should be addressed to the publisher.
Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in
both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
The right of Ann Cattanach to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by
her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
First published in the United Kingdom in 2002
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd
116 Pentonville Road
London N1 9JB, England
and
29 West 35th Street, 10th fl.
New York, NY 10001-2299, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright 2002 Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
The story so far : play therapy narratives / edited by Ann Cattanach.
p. ; cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 1-84310-063-0 (alk. paper)
1. Play terapy--Case studies. 2. Storytelling--Therapeutic use. 3. Play--Psychological
aspects. 4. Mental health counseling. I. Cattanach, Ann.
[DNLM: 1. Play Therapy--Child--Case Report. WS 350.2 S888 2002]
RJ505.P6 S76 2002
618.92891653--dc21
2002021880
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.
ISBN 1 84310 063 0
Printed and Bound in Great Britain by
Athenaeum Press, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear
Contents
Introduction
Ann Cattanach
When All the World was Slime
13
The Self is a Telling: A Childs

Tale of Alien Abduction
35
Jeffrey the Dog: A Search

for Shared Meaning
59
Sally Hanson
David Le Vay
Sue Allanson
All that Glitters is not Gold: The Adoption

Process as a Rite of Passage
83
Ruth Watson
In the Wake of the Monster:

When Trauma Strikes
Alison Kelly
6
7
The Wounded Hero

Maureen Scott-Nash
Finding the Way Back Home:

Childrens Stories of Family Attachment
Sheila Hudd
103
123
149
The Narrow Road to the Deep North:

Tracking a Life
187
The Biography Laboratory: Co-creating

in Community
209
Ann Cattanach
Christine Novy
Contributors
231
Subject Index
233
Name Index
237
Introduction
Ann Cattanach
This book describes the work of nine play therapists through the narratives of children and adults who come to play or play therapy to tell their
stories. First and foremost they describe therapeutic relationships and
within the relationships, the power of narratives and stories as a means of
communication for those people whose voices are not often heard.
To me, the major message, which shines through all the chapters, is
the sensitivity of the relationships between therapists and clients. In the
busy world there seems little time to sit and listen to what children, young
people and adults have to say about their feelings, emotions and their
understanding of the world. It is also the quality of the listening and the
importance that the therapist places on what children and young people
have to say which creates trust and belief in the relationship. It is about
people talking, empathic understanding, sharing creativity not power
and control centred on the therapist. Perhaps the ability to listen and
accept other perspectives, other worlds, could change the way we all live
with each other.
The stories and narratives in this book concern complex life events
like change of family, abuse, illness, death so are multilayered with many
meanings.
The encounters between clients and therapist are co-constructions.
The child plays, and tells stories about the play and the therapist listens,
perhaps asks questions to clarify meaning, and contextualises the story
around the social circumstances which exist for that child in their world.
7
THE STORY SO FAR
Some children and young people need explanations from the therapist
about their social circumstances and this is often incorporated into the
narratives and play. If play therapy is sometimes a rite of passage for a
child from one state of being to another, then sometimes the therapist
takes the role of an elder who can explain the rules and meanings of what
is happening in their society. Perhaps this is especially true of children in
the care system.
The stories are not often direct narrations of life events but concern
imaginary lives. These imaginative stories contain similar life changes to
the reality worlds of the children and adults. Complex life events cannot
always be understood through talking about what happened in reality
talk, because the full impact can only be described and contained
through metaphor, imagery, myth and story, or sometimes play without
words. For example: children explore their understanding of themselves
in vivid ways. So Jenny aged 4 presented me with her self-reflection
which she described as her map of life. It was a drawing of her face across
which were a series of roads.
The first road led from a green blob of slime placed on
the picture at the top of her head.
This was the earth.
The road led to her nose marked with another blob of
slime.
This was the hot planet.
A blob of slime in the left eye was the train.
The mouth was the star
And the ear the moon
And the rest of her body was the earth.
This was Jennys construction of identity. She saw herself as part of the
world and also part of a bigger universe. She wanted me to keep the
picture so I could think about her. When I think of Jenny I do think of her
world and her part in it, her resilience, the stories she told about adults
and, above all, the quality of her imagination.
There are many such stories of the bravery of children and young
people in this book and how they come to terms with life events. In
Chapter 1, Sally Hanson describes the way children use messy play and
INTRODUCTION
sensory materials to explore beginnings. As with the infant, the child in

therapy uses the sensory world to begin a journey of self-discovery. For
some children coping with difficult family lives, play with slime and
messy materials is a means of having their state of nothingness acknowledged. Sally Hanson vividly describes those meetings with very little
verbal communication when sensory play is the only way the children
can express the helplessness they feel. This play is crucial to start children
on a search for identity.
In Chapter 2, David Le Vay explores two stories from Daniel, a
7-year-old boy whose mother has a background of severe emotional and
mental health difficulties. Daniel was referred for play therapy with the
aim that it would contribute to a fuller understanding of how he
perceived and made sense of the complex and ambivalent relationship
with both his mother and the wider social system. David considers that in
examining the two stories which Daniel often presented, the text in one
sense becomes an analogy for the self, and through a fleeting sequence of
symbolic, co-constructed narratives Daniel graphically reveals a terrifying world inhabited by a monstrous alien made up entirely of teeth, eyes,
claws and guns. This is Daniels narrative identity as revealed through his
play therapy a scary place indeed.
In Chapter 3, Sue Allanson describes the narratives of two clients
who were able to make some sense of sexual abuse through the safety of
imaginative stories. She describes how a character like Jeffrey the dog acts
as symbol for the child and keeps the play safe. She notes how quickly
children and young people move from story to story. She states that
children have much to teach us about the fluidity of life and the mercurial
nature of feelings. A story which has vibrancy and importance in one
therapy session may be viewed with almost disinterest in the next, with
the therapist lagging behind, still excitedly clutching what is now history.
For the therapist the paradox of undertaking research into the
meaning of stories told by one child while in therapy is to let go of the
notion of certainty in order to be able to find a shared meaning together.
The journey into the labyrinth is unique to each child. Previous maps
made with other children are no help and must be filed away so that they
do not lead us down someone elses path.
10
THE STORY SO FAR
Chapter 4, All that Glitters is not Gold: The Adoption Process as a

Rite of Passage, is an apt title for a child who has to lose a family to gain
another. Ruth Watson tells Kates story about her move from a foster
family to an adoptive family and how she created rites of passage that
enabled her to make the transition from one family to another. Kate and
Ruth co-created narratives, with specific rites encompassed in play, this
being the way that Kate managed to cope with change and maintain her
sense of self. Ruth states that sometimes the journey was such fun;
sometimes it was very sad. Sometimes Kate got furiously angry with her.
Sometimes in the play, Ruth was a frightened child and sometimes Kate
was the bad mother. So in this way they made their journey from foster
home to adoptive family. The tale continues.
In Chapter 5, Alison Kelly describes the stories that she and a group
of young children worked on following the traumatic death of the childrens teacher. This was therapeutic work in school with a class of young
children. She states that it became important to co-construct these stories
with the children in the process of helping them to come to terms with
their loss. The trauma was contained through the use of story, drama and
play. This chapter also examines adult attitudes and responses to
post-trauma interventions with children and shows how little the
children themselves are consulted.
In Chapter 6, The Wounded Hero, Maureen Scott-Nash states that
for some children exceptional things happen which set them apart from
others. Jamie aged 6 is one of those children. His story is one of struggle
as he fights the life-threatening illness of leukaemia. Jamies world is now
a fragmented and unsafe place where he has to negotiate a painful
journey, with no escape from the invasive medical intervention vital for
his recovery. Maureen describes Jamie as a wounded storyteller and
herself as the listener. Together they co-constructed a safe and healing
space in which to tell Jamies story. Jamie used tactile material, red, runny
slime, as a visual narrative to interpret his story of the battle against
illness. This was his construction of identity, with its messy battles to win
the war for remission.
In Chapter 7, Sheila Hudd describes her work helping families where
there are attachment issues. She explores narratives of attachment in four
families and investigates the links between the parents own attachments,
INTRODUCTION
11
their parenting styles and their childrens attachment and behaviour.

Children were offered two ways to use stories: the beginning of a story to
complete and space to make their own stories. The therapist used these
stories and questionnaires from the parents to examine the attachment
patterns in the families. The chapter shows how assessment of families
can be linked to short-term, play-therapy interventions to support
families.
In The Narrow Road to the Deep North: Tracking A Life, Chapter 8,
I describe Carlas story. She is 14 and has been long-term fostered since
she was 6 years old. I have seen Carla on and off for ten years which gives
us a unique relationship. Children in the care system often meet many
professionals during their childhood so a long-term relationship with a
therapist can be very important. For the therapist, one of the great privileges is to journey with a child travelling through fragments and
moments of their childhood. The chapter describes Carlas struggles to
construct, amend and then reconstruct herself and to piece together a life
and a life story which she can own. Carla uses me in this construction as a
kind of sounding board for her ideas and notions of her life and identity.
In Chapter 9, Christine Novy describes the Biography Laboratory
project. This is a group of six women of different ages, cultures and backgrounds who are involved in action research together. The goal is to
explore story creation. The group are co-researching, co-imagining and
co-constructing meaning in community. The chapter shows how
narrative work, drama and play can be developed with adults exploring
aspects of their lives. The stories explored in the project are those which
may have been forgotten or dismissed, stories which tell of preferred
ways of living and being in the world.
Play therapy is an action therapy using all aspects of play as a way of
expressing what it is like to be in the world in a particular place and time.
It is a way of telling who you are and what you are feeling at that place
and time in your life. In order to be heard, there must be a listener. This
book describes moments in the lives of both clients and therapists as they
meet together, play together and listen to each other. It is never complete:
it is the story so far.
When All the World

was Slime
Sally Hanson
No sooner had life begun and it began to ooze. (Zalasiewics and
Freedman 2000, p.30)
Slime worlds
Science is now revealing how much of this worlds early existence was
spent covered in slime (Zalasiewics and Freedman 2000). It is suggested
that for 300 times as long as the dinosaurs roamed, a slime world ruled
over the earth. This sticky mucus dominated the planet, before more
complex life forms began emerging from this bed of oozing, sludgy,
slimy mud.
In my work as a play therapist I have seen many worlds whose beginnings were a very sticky, slimy affair. I have found Zalasiewics and Freedmans suggestion a very reassuring thought that amidst the slime, and
beneath this all smothering mass, lie the makings of new life and the
creation of all things as we know them. So now sometimes in play
therapy sessions, when we are grappling within the murky depths of
slime worlds, I remind myself that this is the way all worlds begin. These
qualities of slime worlds, seen as part of the creative process, are the focus
of this chapter on play therapy.
13
14
THE STORY SO FAR
The need to begin at the beginning, to explore what there was before
there was anything, to see how nothing becomes something, are
common themes when seeking to make sense of our experiences and
existence in this world. Science, art, religion and ancient myths, have all
endeavoured to describe the process of becoming, of creation itself.
An Ainu myth from Japan
In the beginning the world was slush for the waters and the mud
were all stirred in together.
All was silent, there was no sound. It was cold.
There were no birds flying in the air. There were no living
things.
At last the Creator made a little wagtail and sent him down
from his far place in the sky.
Produce the earth, he said.
The bird flew down over the black waters and the dismal
swamp.
He did not know what to do. He did not know how to begin.
He fluttered in the water with his wings.
He ran up and down in the slush with his feet trying to trample
it to firmness. He beat on it with his long tail, beating it down and
down.
After a long time of treading and trampling, and treading and
trampling, a few dry places began to appear in the big ocean.
The wagtail had created the earth. The islands of Ainu, he had
created the world.
It is no different for the child in play therapy, for here too the child is part
of a creative process. It is through creating a world in play that they begin
the process of defining a sense of themselves. But creating a world is no
easy mission, as this myth makes known. This is mirrored in the childs
experience in play therapy. They may spend some time submerged in the
slime world.
Linda took out the slime, a grunge-green, uniform mass spilled
onto her hand. She tried to break it, but its shape and form merely
WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME
15
stretched and slipped from her hands. As she pulled, the more it
stretched, separation still eluding her, a fine hair of slime holding
together the two blobs which remained in her hands. Still one
mass, it reached the floor in a gaping loop. The slime on her fingers
had begun to follow the flow, thickening the thread which, by
now, was trickling and circling around in patterns onto the mat.
On retrieving the slime, Linda held it high in her hand, watching it
make its way back to the floor. Shaking her hand, she saw the
slime quiver in response, a ripple undulating down its length, her
movements became marked out, solidified as the slime reached its
destination. She skipped around the mat, the slime following,
tracing her steps. This became an intricate dance between herself
and the slime on the mat, her feet placed carefully to avoid treading
on her slimy trail. She is beginning to create her world in play
therapy.
Play worlds
A child comes to play therapy. We make a world together. It is
shared, negotiated, kept safe by the therapist, but belongs to the
child. (Cattanach 1994, p.26)
In the Developmental Model of Play Therapy described by Ann

Cattanach, she suggests that in play children make fictional worlds as a
means to make sense of their experiences in the real world. She believes it
is this myth-making capacity that helps the child to heal the real hurts
they have experienced. In this method the emphasis of play is on its
creative and social qualities; its development is seen as emerging through
its social context, in relation to another. The therapist holds the play
space safe through structure and boundaries, but the meaning of the play
becomes a shared understanding between therapist and child. This is
negotiated through playful interaction and exists between them, rather
than being hidden in the threads of the unconscious for the therapist to
unravel.
I have found that messy, sensory materials, such as fingerpaints and
slime, are a source of much pleasure and intrigue with many children who
come to play therapy. In this chapter, by focusing on how children use
16
THE STORY SO FAR
them, I shall show that it is not only with words that we can give children
a voice. These materials can enable children to express themselves, their
feelings and the way they experience the world. But to listen to children
in this way we have to begin at the beginning of both the playing and the
creative process.
Joshua makes a beeline for the fingerpaints in his first session. He
scoops out dollops of paint from the tub and splats it on to the
paper. Carefully he places his hands over the paint. He hovers there
for a while, then slowly he lowers his hands onto the paint and
begins to press. The paint oozes out from between his fingers. He
smiles, increasing the weight on his hands, imitating the squelching noise that accompanies the paints response to his movements.
He lifts his hands, clenches his fists, looking at how the paints
texture fills every crevice on his fingers as he curls them up tightly.
He returns to the paper, and together we make sounds which
narrate the paints response beneath his fingers as he continues to
spread it around. On Joshuas face is a look of absorption, contentment and fascination, which flickers to satisfaction as we both look
in awe as the shapes and colours of paint unfold, created by his
movements. He begins to describe what he is doing as he swirls his
finger in the paint. Im making colours. You do it too. In the paint
we chase each others fingers. We play tag on blobs of colour. Soon
the paper is covered in a uniform grungy brown. He screws up his
nose, wiggles his fingers in the air, grunting and growling in
different directions. He laughs, If mum could see me now! He
returns to the paint, tracing back the marks he has left, leaving
hand and finger prints in random places on the paper. We are
coming to the end of our session, time to wash away the thick,
slimy, gunk clinging on his hands. When I ask him what he likes
about the play, he laughs again, Its messy! Words cannot encapsulate his experience of the paint, nor the shared meaning of our
interaction.
For adults, slime and fingerpaints may trigger all the worst fears and
dread of mess. In Joshuas family such messy play was definitely deemed
17
impossible. They have had to develop a rigid routine to cope with the
needs of Joshuas autistic sister. Her demands limit Joshuas play: order is
paramount to maintaining the family equilibrium. With the knowledge
that these sessions were to be his time, it was towards the slime and messy
play that Joshua was first drawn. This play seemed to satisfy a need
previously denied and provide a means of self-expression unattainable in
his home environment. The qualities of the slime and paint opened up a
channel of communication in which Joshua felt more able to release
anger and frustration, and explore different ways of being. The mess was
an important part of the message. In Joshuas sessions the ability of the
play space to accept, hold and contain the mess were an important aspect
of the interaction. The fact that we were in this mess together made it all
the more appealing. My participation in the play was seen as my willingness to listen and converse in the language of his choosing. This was a
means to hear and share experiences in a world of his making.
In play therapy, children from complex situations come to express
and to make some sense of their experiences. It is through the play that a
narrative for these emerge; a medium through which to tell their stories.
This is an intricate process in which many levels of meaning may exist at
the same time, co-constructed between child and therapist. Some of these
meanings live in the moment, in the doing and being their sense held in
the here and now, contained within the play experience itself. As Joshuas
play suggests, here is where communication can be multilayered, with
experiences illustrated through movement, sound and shape. This gives
the children the wider vocabulary they need to express themselves. These
are the first narratives of experience, where the child first gains a sense of
self. Joshuas wish to begin this exploration with the fingerpaints demonstrates a childs need to begin this process in this sensory world through
the sensory experience.
In my own experience of children in play therapy, many do begin
with the slime, or with making murky pools of paint with their fingers.
The elusiveness of form, slimes resistance to holding shape or structure,
seem to attract a child to these gooey substances. Seen as a creative
process, it makes sense to begin with the chaos, a sense of nothingness,
in order to acknowledge the possibility of somethingness. This becomes
a means to gaining understanding and experience of the process of
18
THE STORY SO FAR
forming and sculpting different ways of being. I have often noted that
much attention is given to the later stages of the journey, to the symbolic
worlds children make and stories they tell. However, for many children,
this initial stage entails a long and arduous struggle to which we often
return: a developmental process through which we move back and forth.
In this chapter, I aim to follow and describe aspects of this play; to
give more recognition to the sensory nature of play, the non-verbal
qualities of play interactions, and to look at these as the place where
meaning and the narratives begin; to explore the process of how children
begin to make and create their world through play.
Beginnings: the void

The bird flew down over the black waters and the dismal swamp.
He did not know what to do. He did not know how to begin.
Where, and how, to begin? In my experience, this question is an

important one for a child coming to play therapy for the first time. Many
have experienced much chaos and mess in their lives. When first setting
out to make worlds in play, to begin the task of ordering, containing and
making sense of experiences can seem like taking a leap into the darkness
the unknown a great void in front of them. Entering a new space,
another relationship and playing can all be difficult and daunting for
numerous reasons and hard for a child to voice.
In this context, the slime can seem the ideal substance for beginnings.
An unformed mass, no real edges to distinguish the beginning or end. Its
nature is a paradox of being and not being, mirroring the place from
where many children in play therapy are coming, with a bundle of disordered, chaotic experiences into which their sense of being is inextricably
bound. In play, slime can fill the void, hold and describe the emptiness
and nothingness the child may be experiencing within it. It seems that, as
with creation myths, we must begin at the beginning. In play therapy, this
is in the sensory world.
19
Sensory worlds
Sticky, sludgy, slippy slime, the sloppy ploppy creepy kind. (Cole
1985, pp.12)
In early childhood infants first gain a sense of themselves in the physical

world, through their senses, in their immediate environment. Much of
this happens in a space held and shared with their carers. This space
between them is where creative play begins. Early playful interaction is
not through the language of words, but eye contact, facial expression,
movement and sound. A non-verbal interchange develops in which a
shared understanding of the experience is created. Mother and child
follow and initiate an interaction with each other, responding in relation
to one another, so that the meaning is co-constructed, created between
them within the play experience. It is here that infants can discover where
their body begins and ends, their relationship to their physical world and
the space they take up within it. In this preverbal world, a sense of self is
created and held within the act of experiencing it.
Many children who come to play therapy have missed out on these
early experiences for various reasons. Cattanach (1992) describes how
the development of creative play can be seen to begin in the sensory
world. In play therapy, these play experiences are called Embodiment
Play, the first stage of a developmental continuum, where the mess and
slime can recreate the preverbal universe of the infant. As with infants,
children in therapy need to explore their environment through their
senses; to establish a sense of their physical self in relation to the play
space where they end and the rest of the world begins.
For many children coming to play therapy, building a clear picture of
their world and a sense of self within it, has been difficult in their
previous fragmented, chaotic experiences. Their self-image has become
distorted and bound up in their past.
The slime, and other sensory materials, are ways in which children in
play therapy can enter this world and use their senses to begin a journey
of self-discovery. Starting with the physical world, this process enables
the child to shape and form a sense of self in relation to the play space
provided in the session.
20
THE STORY SO FAR
The child must first become familiar with this world of play, be given
a safe space where their creativity can develop. This space must be
separate from the real world, so new worlds can be imagined, free from
the restraints and responsibilities children have experienced in their lives.
I introduce the play space in play therapy by providing a mat similar to
that outlined by Ann Cattanach in her first book, Play Therapy for Abused
Children (1992). We sit on the mat together. Between us is the space for
playing, which defines a clear boundary of where the play can begin and
end and also separates it from the rest of the world. In this space between
us lie the toys and slime which support the childs creativity in play
(Figure 1.1).
Figure 1.1.Using the mat to provide play space in play therapy
I bring a variety of toys to each session, and have found Slime and Gak a
very popular choice, especially with children first coming to play. As their
names suggest, the main aim of these gooey substances seems to be to
epitomise bad taste or taboo subjects. Each is packaged in garish pots,
shaped and coloured to hint at the gruesome nature of its contents. I pride
myself in having collected a good selection of the best these toilets,
monsters and vampire heads. When opened, all reveal substances of
21
different luminous colours: pinks, purples, oranges and some very

suspect hues of green. One of slimes most impressive qualities is to
resemble and mimic all manner of disgusting things, especially the more
uncontrollable processes, products and messy substances that come with
being creative and human. These bodily functions hold much fascination
for children. They are still mastering which are to be restrained and
contained, and the whys and hows of their acceptability in the adult
world. These are all part of our sense of self.
Pick-a-nose picks awful poem

A tadpole doesnt have much snot in its nose
But a whale has got a lot of snot I suppose.
Snot! Snot! Green slimy snot!
I like it a lot!
You can slip on it in the dark,
And spread it on bread for a lark.
Snot! Snot! Green slimy snot!
I like it a lot!
I think you will agree
Theres not much snot in a flea.
Snot! Snot! Green and hot!
I like it a lot!
Its snot a nice thing to write a poem about,
But Im snot going to leave it out.
Snot! Snot! Green and hot!
I like it a lot!
(Patten 1985, p.119)
Therefore as the above poem suggests, these are a favourite topic of play
and humour in children.
In Staceys first session she sat on the edge of the mat. Her arms
folded, she appeared reticent and unsure about being in the space. I
began to explain the rules and purpose of our time. Her stance
22
THE STORY SO FAR
remained rigid and hostile to the whole idea as I showed her an

array of toys. Her expression changed on sight of the pots of slime.
Interest glimmered in her face. With an air of distaste, she
asked for a closer inspection. I opened a pot and the slime slithered
out. At first, my offer was resisted. While returning the slime to the
pot it slurped, with some more familiar graphic noises following
Oops! I grinned. The ice was broken. She grabbed another pot. I
can do that. Soon farting noises were being exchanged, admired
and bettered a dialogue had begun.
This first session took place in a womens refuge where Stacey had been
living for three months her longest resting place for over two years.
There was a vast trail of different places where she had stayed in her
mothers attempt to keep one step ahead of her violent partners rage.
Making, breaking or trusting relationships were issues in the forefront of
much of Staceys experience in life. The opportunity to feel safe enough
to play was limited. It is important in play therapy to begin where the
child is and for some the issue is whether they feel able to begin at all. The
slimy, sensory materials appeared to provide a medium for interaction in
which Stacey felt more able to engage, a means to explore the safety of the
space and relationship.
Assessing the childs and your own limits when introducing
messy play is a vital necessity to ensure the safety of the child, the space
and the sanity of the therapist. The slime and mess is a means to test these
aspects of the space, play and relationship.
For Rosie, the slime appeared to affirm this was her space a place
where farting noises and disgusting things were accepted. After
five minutes of reciprocating exclamations, voicing our disgust, but
admiration, of the grossness in which the slime could sit and revel,
our rapport moved to intermittent resounding slurps and farts
(created with the slime!). We each praised the others triumphs,
which were achieved by wriggling and compressing the slime with
our fingers in its pot. Once this form of repertoire was established,
it was with the playdoh that she chose to go on to explore the
23
physical dimensions of the play space. Maybe the slime seemed a

little too risky to let loose from its container.
Using the playdoh factory, she produced a never-ending strand
of dough, which had to be accommodated within the space,
curled, balanced, supported and held as it grew and filled the
space. The remainder of the first session was taken up with this
activity needing all hands on deck to ensure the safety and development of the trail of dough. Finally, she looked with pride and
achievement. Thats all of it, she said, with a satisfied air. The
mission had been accomplished; there was no more playdoh left.
We retraced our steps from the end, carefully following the trail
back round to the beginning, while reflecting on some of the more
difficult bits of the operation. In the last few minutes of the session,
Rosie insisted in dismantling and returning the playdoh to its containers.
It is reassuring to see that things once released, and therefore
externalised, can still be contained. This play is a means to test the robustness of the space and relationship, to see what they can hold, accept and
contain. Strong foundations are essential in order to begin to build new
worlds.
Rosie was in foster care, one of many placements since being removed
from her own family. Rosie and her brothers were found living in squalor,
severely neglected. Rosies image of herself and her trust of others was
low. Rejection and chaos were the themes of many a story in later
sessions. The ability to accept and hold tricky and disgusting things is a
basic necessity to the safety of the therapeutic space and for testing and
building relationships.
In these scenes of childrens play, it can be seen how some of the
attributes of messy play may help a child enter into the play space. The
materials sensory qualities make it a perfect medium to test the space and
begin to forge a therapeutic alliance. In my experience, children often
begin with sensory substances which they can pummel, stretch and poke:
playdoh to squeeze rather than mould; paints to converse rather than
make pictures. The availability of these sensory materials makes interaction and self-expression more accessible to the child. I find the slime or a
24
THE STORY SO FAR
pile of squidgy things say more adequately than words that this is their
time and play space.
It is the therapists responsibility to provide a space into which the
child is able and can choose to enter. In early infancy, mother and child,
through subtle synchronicity, negotiate the context and content of their
interaction. Similarly, in the first few play therapy sessions, these issues
are being explored through the play medium that the child chooses
which suits their present situation.
Nothingness
Nothing testifies more clearly to its ambiguous character as a structure between two states than the slowness with which slime melts
into itself. (Sartre 1966, p.607)
Cattanach (1994) sees one of the values of slime as lying in its purposelessness. She suggests that, for a child coming to therapy, this serves as a
means of relief from expectations of attainment experienced from adults
in other contexts, such as school. It provides a medium in which nothingness is okay; a permission for existence in a formless state.
Much of my work has been with children who have experienced
domestic violence. This raises many issues about how, when and whether
one can begin a therapeutic intervention. As with Stacey, many of these
children may remain in limbo for a long time. They experience many
moves and changes, lengthy stays in refuges or transitory places a long
sequence of temporary homes, lives and relationships.
Though Stacey has now remained in one place the refuge for
more than four months, she has watched many other families come
and go; some arriving or disappearing, amidst much fear and
confusion, in the middle of the night. This is a constant reminder
that the refuge is only a temporary solution. Her play after six
sessions continues to be mostly with slime. Much time is spent
pouring it from hand to hand, or container to container, watching
with wonder and admiration its ability to stretch and fall, merge
and separate. A constant movement which seems never ending.
This was the world we created in play.
25
In these chaotic circumstances, no sense can be made of experiences, past

or present, but they can be acknowledged. While childrens lives remain
uncertain, with safety a constant issue and contact with the outside world
limited, it is hard to sustain a coherent sense of self. For some children, the
chaos remains and, at times, can be overwhelming. In these circumstances
the play therapy sessions can provide a secure, boundaried space in which
they feel safe enough to express these experiences. The slime is a means of
narrating this transient state; never still, no clear structure or foundations
on which to form or shape an identity. This play can be a way to acknowledge being, feeling, nothing.
Somethingness
He fluttered in the water with his wings. He ran up and down in the
slush with his feet trying to trample it into firmness. He beat on it
with his long tail, beating it down and down.
In the therapeutic play space, where the boundaries are clear and
constant, the child can begin to experience a physical sense of being. In
this slimy world, the concept of where one begins and ends can start to be
explored through the qualities of the material. The sensory nature of the
play brings out an awareness of a physical self, a means to experience me
and not me, the properties of being and not being. From the movement
and formations in this physical world there can emerge a more tangible
sense of self. The sensory play acts a constant source with which to experience the physical self in relation to the play space.
Lindas play in therapy revolved around the slime for some time.
Every week her ritual was to take out all the pots of slime. With
each one she opened their lids, then after poking it with an exploratory finger, she would judge its sticky properties and slimyness.
The pots were carefully placed in a row between us, each pots
position an indication of its quality in relation to its neighbour. She
pondered for a while. Which one will we take out today? Its the
pink one, stickier and faster flowing than the others. (Different
colours have different consistencies you know!) Many sessions
have been spent watching the slime ooze, stretch and spread
26
THE STORY SO FAR
around Lindas body and the mat, reflecting, marking out Lindas
movements and form. This time, sitting down, she let the pink
slime first trickle over her legs. This required her to sit quite still as
it followed the contours of her knees. She watched intently as it
slowly outlined the shape of her body. Next, she poured slime
around the perimeters of the mat, marking out our territory of play.
You mustnt cross this line, I was told quite firmly.
The slimes consistency and tactile qualities were a means for Linda to
experience a sense of being in the physical world, through her senses.
The clear boundaries of the play space allowed Linda to feel a sense of her
bodily self in relation to the space. This enabled her to explore through
the slime different ways of being held, supported and contained. With
this play in slime her focus has been on form and shape, their relationship
to the space in the play world. In this world that she has created in slime, a
sense of a separate self emerges, an identity not so bound by the chaos and
mess that exists in her real life.
Linda too has lived with domestic violence all her life. She is now in a
safe house, but her mother and fathers conflict continues to be a
prominent part of her world (when does his injunction expire?). Her
brother is in and out of care because of his outbursts (just like his dad).
The ability to be contained and invisible has been a necessity for
self-survival with Linda. The slime is the perfect malleable, transitory
medium with which to begin to explore physical shape and form to a
possible self that can emerge in play, experienced in the here and now, in
relation to the play space, a world separate from the real world.
I can recall many instances of childrens play which seem to demonstrate the ways in which children use these sensory materials, moving
them around in relation to their body and creating external maps of their
experience. When looking at Lindas exploration of slimes ability to
bend, twist and fold, its capacity to fit into any number of shapes and
spaces, nooks and crannies she could find, it would be easy to interpret
and relate the play to her past experiences. However, it would be
dangerous and inappropriate for me to place such deeper meaning to
these play interactions within the session and a breach of the rules of play
worlds. Its safety exists because of its distance from real worlds. More
27
importantly, these are not the words Linda used to describe those experiences in play, nor the meaning that was created between us.
Such connections do not need to be made for the child as part of the
therapeutic process. However, the symmetry between their play and real
worlds can give validation and recognition to a childs perceptions of
their worlds: the play a means to express them. It is usually in retrospect
that the way children have used the slime can be seen to reflect aspects of
their lives and experiences within it. It is all too easy to stifle the childs
own process and creativity through our haste to make sense and meaning
of the play.
For some children like Linda who are coping with domestic violence,
play is a means to acknowledge their abilities and coping skills rather
than make sense of past events. Their safety has been reliant on their
ability to maintain a fluid, flexible state. In the play space is the opportunity to express these aspects of his or herself, and begin to explore their
individuality as a separate entity from the confusion in their real worlds.
The sensory play world enables these children to create and look at
different ways of being, many of which may not as yet be realised or
possible in the outside world.
In slimey worlds
In the beginning the world was slush, for the waters and mud were
all stirred in together.
Mastery and control

In the play space the child becomes the creator of worlds. The play with
slime in play therapy gives them the chance to explore and control and
gain mastery over actions and events.
Lindas accuracy of directing and controlling the slime improved
greatly over the weeks, the slimes resting place now more carefully
executed. It takes time and skill to keep this elusive substance
under control, to master its movements within the confines of the
space. In these sessions, instead of watching the slimes own formations, Linda was more active in planning the slimes motion and
28
THE STORY SO FAR
destiny, pouring it from its pot into different containers, cups,

plates, and bowls. In this play, she cut, squeezed and squashed the
slime. She even dared to play catch with it, but (fortunately) only
briefly. Linda has become very adept in this play. Controlling the
slime has given her the opportunity to appreciate her skills; a
means to reflect on her own abilities.
For some children, the task is not to make sense of past turmoil, but to
experience a sense of themselves in the here and now, in a way in which
they are enabled to take charge of what happens. The advantage of these
messy materials is their instantaneous response to the childs handling,
the immediate gratification in their ability to yield to command. The real
world may be too chaotic, with little opportunity to be still enough to see
the consequences of their own actions. These experiences can only
happen in a space separate from the confusion, made possible through the
boundaries and safety of the space held between us. In the slime is the
chance to be master of the world they have created.
Containment
Ideally, therapeutic work begins when trauma is past. But in reality, as in
cases I have described earlier, the situation is often more complicated.
Experiences of past and present are hard to disentangle and, at times,
equally hard to live with. For these children, an appropriate time to begin
play therapy can seem impossible to realise. What is meant by stable or
safe enough bound by an adult perception of safety and stability
perhaps? For many children, uncertainty has become a consistent
component of their lives.
Stacy entwines the slime around her hands, faster and faster she
goes, until her hands are covered in fragments of slime. Blobs and
strands cling to her fingers. Carefully, she picks them off, wiping
the bits onto the rim of the container. Gradually, as the size
increases, it slips down the side to the bottom of the pot. Eventually, she manages to remove and disentangle all the slime from
her hands. She ensures it is all returned to where it belongs. The
containers lid is quickly snapped on tight.
29
When living with much chaos and confusion, it is hard to contain events
and experiences when their existence remains so fragile and fragmented.
It is impossible to order or make sense of these experiences when past,
present and future may merge and separate on a daily basis. At these
times, to hold and maintain a coherent sense of identity can be a constant
struggle. But in many circumstances, this is the existence that their world
necessitates. This play is a means to acknowledge their containment.
It is now common practice for children in foster care to continue
contact with their birth family. In some cases this can be difficult,
bringing back painful memories of the past and an enigmatic dynamic in
the here and now. Messy play can be used to narrate the inability of past
experiences to be ordered or fashioned into a more manageable form; to
narrate the way they may fade or re-emerge, or be a constant dynamic
that encroaches on aspects of their present world. Play with slime, and
similar materials, can be an enabling experience to help them cope with
difficulties they may be facing in the real world, and to explore different
ways to cope and contain feelings.
In one session, following a recent home visit, Anthony arrives
agitated, unable to settle. He chose to start the session with a
selection of sticky creatures and balls, and then with increasing
speed and force he throws them onto the mat, commenting on the
sound, shape and position they take up in the space. He marks out a
spot on the mat and continues to throw the stickys, laughing and
clapping when they successfully hit the target he has outlined. His
precision improves, and by the end of the session he celebrates the
success of all the stickys landing within these limits. In this world,
he has experienced a sense of control over events, and explored
strategies of containment.
This play can be a means to experience control over environments and
feelings, and how to contain unruly substances.
Rowen had been making good progress in play therapy, beginning
to make some sense of past events and experiences: being in foster
care, the separation from his mother. After Rowens last contact
30
THE STORY SO FAR
visit with his mother, our play in the session returned to the slime
world, the place we had first visited some time ago. He squeezed
the slime in his hands, harder and harder. The air trapped inside
the slime bubbled up, the globule expanded and popped, leaving
only a slimey trail on his thumb. His mothers escalating promises
had yet again ended in nothing. Harder and harder he squeezed
the slime. We watched its ever-changing form slipping through
his fingers. He repeated this process several times. The slime
escaped capture, no matter how tight he clasped his fingers. His
mother had not kept the contact arrangement. Not a word about
the visit was uttered in the session, the real world was much too
painful. The slime movements said it all. Rowen moved on to the
paints, the fingerpaints. His hand dived into the red pot. Red paint
was soon vigorously being moved around the paper. His anger at
the failed visit was scooped, expressed and released onto the paper,
externalised but contained within the confines of the space.
Many children are referred to play therapy because of their behaviour.
School or their carers find their frequent angry outbursts a cause of
concern. In play, children can gain mastery and control of these feelings
and find alternative means of expression. This is what Rowen did when
he swirled, splattered and spread the red paint energetically on the paper:
the edges were not breached which, for him, was quite an achievement.
Being
After a long time of treading and trampling, and treading and
trampling, a few dry places began to appear in the big ocean.
The wagtail had created the earth. The islands of Ainu, he had
created the world.
I feel it is no coincidence that in creating both play and real worlds, slush
and slime are the place where we begin. Just as in the real world, where
life is believed to have emerged from slime, so, when children are ready,
from the play with slime there also emerge more complex life forms.
Their worlds can begin to contain a more symbolic narrative of their
experiences. The wading in the slush and slime is an important part of
31
this creative process. From delving into the chaos and disorder, a sense of
being and meaning can develop. The children often then move on to
other toys to decorate and illuminate their fantasy worlds.
When children have created a play world in therapy and their present
circumstances are relatively secure, a sense of themselves can be explored
that is not so bound up in past trauma. The paints, clay, playdoh or slime
can begin to be a symbol or metaphor, and a means to bring some order
or sense to experiences. The emerging narrative is first held together in
the act of doing, seeing, being the immediate world experienced
through the senses.
Joshua in later sessions began to tear all the playdoh into small pieces,
spreading them strategically over the mat, then squashing them back
together again. This process would be repeated many times. One week,
after ripping up the playdoh, he chose some pieces which he began to
squeeze together. He did this until he had three different quantities of
dough. He squashed the largest piece flat and rolled out the other two
into sausages, which he proceeded to bend and place on each end of the
previously flattened lump. Thats you and me on the mat, he explained.
He tore the boy figure up. Hes broken. He then placed the pieces back
on the playdoh mat. He squashed this mixture together and then banged
and flattened it down again. He took out the gingerbread boy cutter and
pressed it hard into the smoothened dough. He spent some time carefully
pulling away the excess pieces from the edge of the shape, then pressed
the playdoh boy out onto his hand. See, now he is whole again, he said.
Not all children are able to narrate so eloquently the way in which
they use the materials to gain some sense of themselves or their process
within the play. But for many it gives them a means to explore and express
themselves, to experience the process of becoming and begin to develop
a sense of their individuality as a separate identity. Joshuas family had
begun to recognise his needs, making time to play with him away from
his sister.
In the dictionary, alternative words to messy are careless, untidy or
dirty which probably sums up the average adult view of such play activities. But for a child in play therapy, a very different perception can be
constructed. Within our interaction meaning is created, though it exists
often only in the moment. Mess can be seen as a necessary beginning of
32
THE STORY SO FAR
making sense, the disorder part of the process of creating meaning,

giving experience shape and form, even if only a temporary one.
Central to messy play is that it is in the doing that the child expresses
and explores their world, in the safety of the here and now, in a play space
on the edges of the real world. Often, emphasis of meaning is that it can
be abstracted in relation to something else symbolic form or a narrative
of words. But this evolves from first externalising and reflecting on experiences which as yet evade or transcend the world of words. Much can be
missed in ignoring the expression and meaning held within the moment.
Its existence is sustained in the experience itself, not in words.
I have tried to draw out from children the words to describe these
play experiences as a means to ensure I have grasped their understanding
of them. However, I have found that, wrapped and absorbed in the
moment, I can only glean an expression, a gesture or sometimes a grunt or
giggle. This seems to echo the essence of the slimes seemingly irresistible
nature, which the child in play has become a part of. I tend to agree with
them. Most of the meaning exists in the experience itself, within the
context of the play space created between therapist and child in the slime
world.
Some feelings or events may remain an enigma, as life is never that
simple. At times, words are too concrete to express or contain them. These
experiences can be acknowledged and externalised in a slime world,
where they may remain for 300 times as long as the dinosaurs roamed the
earth. Their transformation to be grasped at another time, in another
world.
While writing this chapter, I feel that many experiences which I have
gone through in this creative process mirror those of a child in play. I
started with a collection of intangible thoughts and intuitive feelings of
my past experiences in observing and participating in childrens play.
These were the ingredients of my slime world, with my beliefs, perceptions and theoretical background mulched in for good measure. They
have all influenced my direction, but constantly pulled me in different
ways. At times, framing and structuring them into a manageable form to
share with others has been an elusive task. The concepts fall through my
fingers in my attempts to capture them in words. I have struggled to
isolate different issues, to refine and stretch them. I have pulled them in
33
various ways to make yet another possible structure of ideas, only to find
them all to easily retracting, merging back into their original state a
formless mass just like slime.
From this stance, I can resonate with the childs first taste of the
creative world in play therapy. Finally, I hope I have given their perception of such experiences some life.
Maori
From nothing the begetting
From nothing the increase
From nothing the abundance
The power of increasing
The living breath.
(Gersie 1997)
References
Cattanach, A. (1992) Play Therapy with Abused Children. London: Jessica

Kingsley Publishers.
Cattanach, A. (1994) Where The Sky Meets The Underworld. London: Jessica
Cole, B. (1985) The Slimy Book. London: Picture Lions/HarperCollins.
Gersie, A. (1997) Reflections on Therapeutic Storytelling. London: Jessica Kingsley
Publishers.
Patten, B. (1985) Gargling with Jelly. London: Viking, p.119.
Sartre, J.P. (1966) Being and Nothingness. Trans. Hazel E. Barnes. London:
Methuen.
Zalasiewics, J. and Freedman, K. (2000) The dawn of slime. New Scientist 2229,
3033.
The Self is a Telling
A Childs Tale of Alien Abduction

David Le Vay
Take the tale in your teeth, then, bite till the blood runs, hoping its
not poison, and we will all come to the end together, and even to the
beginning: living, as we do, in the middle. (Le Guin 1980 p.29)
During my time as a play therapist, dramatherapist and social worker I

have worked with many children and young people and have long been
fascinated by the stories that are told and shared within the safety and
security of the therapeutic space. It is a magical place where anything can
happen and where most things do, and over the years I have witnessed
stories and enactments that have been beautiful, moving, terrifying and
sad. We live in a world of stories that run through our personal, social and
institutional lives a narrative stream that at times can be fast flowing and
ever changing and at other times slow and meandering, carving out
patterns in our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
This chapter tells the story of Daniel, a confused and anxious child
who was referred for play therapy because of the complex emotional difficulties he was experiencing within his family, and particularly within
the relationship with his mother. It is a metaphoric tale of hope and
despair as revealed through a narrative sequence which provides a
window into an internal world inhabited by powerful monsters, creatures
which threaten to overcome his very self. My reason for writing about
Daniel and the process of his play therapy has emerged from my interest
35
36
THE STORY SO FAR
in the notion of narrative identity, by which I mean the internal stories

which children carry within them as a way of understanding, describing
and making sense of their personal and social relationships. But before I
talk specifically about Daniel, I will endeavour to place this work within
something of a theoretical context by discussing briefly some of the ideas
and thinking around the concept of narrative identity and how these
ideas can contribute to an understanding of the play therapy process.
My interest in the notion of narrative identity, and its relationship
with play therapy, developed partly from my involvement in the practice
of family therapy and the ideas which had developed within that profession over the last ten years or so; ideas which explored concepts of social
construction, narrative and text analogy, for example, in the work of
Anderson (1992), Hoffman (1992) and White and Epston (1990). I
became both engaged and inspired by the emerging post-modern,
post-structural position that was being adopted through the development of a reflexive stance to therapy; a position that consciously
distanced itself from the more traditional image of the therapist as
expert and moved towards an approach based more upon mutual reflection and collaboration, in which meaning is sought within a framework
of co-construction between therapist and client. In conjunction with this,
my play therapy practice with children who suffered trauma and abuse
was leading me to become increasingly drawn to a narrative model of
identity in which meaning, both personal and social, is created through
the sequencing and ordering of life events. In this sense, the self could be
seen to become an ongoing process of storying as new experiences are
continually re-evaluated and reintegrated into our understanding of who
we are and of our place in the world. I felt this model of narrative identity
could provide a helpful framework for understanding the process of play
therapy as children struggle to integrate their abusive experiences into an
understanding of themselves and their place in a confusing and unpredictable landscape.
Whilst I have found within my practice that children are often
resistant to the formalising of their stories, I have always been fascinated
by the semi-formal narrative sequences which are constructed during the
course of their play. This may be a brief sequence of dramatic play, a
period of projective play with objects and sand, or perhaps simply a child
THE SELF IS A TELLING: A CHILDS TALE OF ALIEN ABDUCTION
37
recounting earlier events of the day. Children in this sense act as their
own narrators, providing a running commentary on their play. In the
context of the play therapy space, these narratives become spontaneous
collaborations created through the interaction between child and
therapist.
In this sense then, one of the fundamental processes of play therapy is
the facilitation of the childs expression of narrative identity, in that they
are enabled to explore relationships via the symbolic and metaphoric
imagery that is co-created during the course of their play. The natural
inclination to story personal experience, which is so much part of the
human condition, allows for a richness of symbolism and metaphor to
develop within the healing process of play, and the healing narratives
themselves become embedded within the relationship between child and
therapist. So narrative frameworks are constructed which allow children
to begin to sequence, order, predict and make sense of the complex
feelings that can exist as a result of trauma and abuse. This capacity for the
storying and narratisation of human experience was emphasised well by
Barbara Hardy:
We dream in narrative, remember, anticipate, hope, despair, believe,
doubt, plan, revise, criticise, construct, gossip, learn, hate and love by
narrative. In order really to live, we make up stories about ourselves
and others, about the personal as well as the social past and future.
(Hardy 1968 p.13)
As we know, children who have experienced abuse often have great difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy and positive relationships.
Their narrative identity, their way of making sense of their abusive experiences, can involve personal constructs of blame, guilt, depression and
anger, resulting in a perception of themselves as bad and worthless. By
addressing the stories and narratives which children present in therapy it
is possible to reframe these abusive experiences and so reconstruct an
ongoing narrative for the child that is less influenced by their internalised
feelings of self-blame and responsibility. The transitional space that
occupies both the playroom and the relationship between child and
therapist provides a rich and fertile ground for growth and change, a
space where ghosts from the past can be safely conjured with and con-
38
THE STORY SO FAR
trolled and where new narratives of hope can begin to develop and
flourish.
In seeking to establish some form of definition for the term narrative
identity as I use it within this chapter, the family therapist William Lax
(1992) helpfully stated:
The narrative view holds that it is the process of developing a story
about ones life that becomes the basis of all identity and thus challenges any underlying concept of a unified or stable self. (Lax 1992
p.71)
Lax suggests that the development of a narrative becomes a process of

defining who we are in interaction with other peoples perceived understanding of us. Through narrative we forge and shape the world in which
we live, creating our own subjective realities within the context of a social
community of others. Lax proposes that narrative identity, or a sense of
self, arises not only through discourse with other people but is our
discourse with others. Within this narrative model of identity there is no
hidden self to be uncovered or interpreted and indeed, as Lax states: We
reveal ourselves in every moment of interaction through the ongoing narratives that we maintain with others (p.71). Essentially then, narrative
exists within a context of interaction between people. In the course of
play therapy a child reveals their social text in conjunction with the
therapist, in the role of reader and co-author. The stories and narratives
which emerge during the course of a play therapy session belong then
neither to the child nor the therapist, but are the result of a
co-construction between them both.
A narrative model of identity maintains the view that the act of telling
a story is equally an act of creating ones self, a construction of life
through stories that change depending upon the moment of interaction,
the purpose of the telling or perhaps the audience or listeners to the story
itself. Ricoeur defined narrative as something that makes identity
somewhat unstable, insofar as many stories can be woven from the same
material (Wood 1991, p.4). It is this dynamic, transient and context-driven essence of narrative that I believe to be so valuable in the
provision of a model for describing the play therapy process.
39
This concept of identity as a somewhat unstable construct is a theme

emphasised by Donald Polkinghorne, who proposed that both personal
identity and self-concept are achieved through the use of what he termed
narrative configuration:
We are in the middle or our stories and cannot be sure how they will
end; we are constantly having to revise the plot as new events are
added to our lives. Self, then, is not a static thing or a substance, but a
configuring of personal events into an historical unity which
includes not only what one has been but also anticipations of what
one will be. (Polkinghorne 1988 p.150)
In this sense we realise ourselves through the stories and narratives that
we tell both ourselves and others. The words we use, the sentences we
construct, the events that we choose to include or omit, all contribute to
the generation of a narrative identity through which we aim to make
sense and order out of experience. Like the saying that one can never step
in the same river twice, the self is a fluid, illusory construct that changes as
our stories change, through the continual need to reorganise, reassess and
reintegrate experience into our daily lives. There is a Tibetan Buddhist
saying that the self is somewhat akin to a candle flame in an open
doorway, vulnerable to all the winds of circumstance. Similarly, the
stories and narratives that children carry within them are shaped and
sculpted by the prevailing winds of circumstance that they each experience. Within play therapy, children can safely control and experiment
with the interplay between their internal narrative constructs and their
creative imagination and so explore new stories about themselves.
Internal conflicts are externalised through their play so that they cease to
become simply the bad bits of themselves and instead become objects
and roles which can be seen, played with and made sense of.
I feel it is important within any discussion around the concept of
narrative and therapy to make brief reference to the work of White and
Epston (1990), who proposed that an understanding of narrative
structure holds an advantage over other related concepts, for example, the
use of metaphor of fixed paradigms. They suggest that because narrative
places emphasis upon order and sequence, it can be a much more useful
and relevant way of understanding change, life cycles and developmental
processes. Through their employment of a text analogy, White and
40
THE STORY SO FAR
Epston talk of the storying of experience as a means of providing people

with a sense of continuity and meaning in their lives:
In striving to make sense of life, persons face the task of arranging
their experience of events in sequences across time in such a way as
to arrive at a coherent account of themselves and the world around
them. Specific experiences of events of the past and present, and
those that are predicted to occur in the future, must be connected to
a lineal sequence to develop this account. This account can be
referred to as a story or self-narrative. (White and Epston 1990,
p.10)
This concept of text as an analogy for the self is drawn from the notion of
hermeneutics, a theory and methodology of textual interpretation which
acknowledges the intersubjectivity of the therapeutic relationship and
places specific emphasis upon the reflexive loop of conversation and
dialogue. Children, in the context of play therapy, are not simply passive
scripts to be read and interpreted, but living texts which change through
the interaction between therapist and child, each bringing their own
socially constructed view of the world into the dynamics of their relationship. The text analogy for the self is complex, because no one reading
will ever be the same, but therein also lies the value of hermeneutic methodology in that it provides an interpretive approach to information, specifically text, whilst also acknowledging the value and importance of
subjectivity within this process. The relationship between text and
narrative is aptly summarised by Lax (1992):
The interaction itself is where the text exists and where the new
narrative of ones life emerges. The unfolding text is something that
occurs between people. Clients unveil the story of their lives in conjunction with a specific reader/therapist, therefore the therapist is
always a co-author of the story that is unfolding, with the client as
the other co-author. The resulting text is neither the clients nor the
therapists story, but a co-construction of the two. (Lax 1992, p.73)
It is through the use of text that I have explored the process of Daniels
play therapy, in that it provides a window through which the
co-constructive process can be viewed. Through audio-taping and transcribing a 15-minute section of a play therapy session, I was interested in
41
what the resulting text might reveal about Daniels narrative identity and
the extent to which his sense of location within his personal, social and
physical system was discursively displayed. Rom Harre (1994) proposed
that the mind of any human being is constituted by the discourses that
they are involved in and so it could equally be seen to be revealed
through this same process.
I was also interested in how this sense of personal narrative related to
the overall picture of Daniels play therapy, and to this end I have also
included in this analysis a story that Daniel told, and in fact dictated,
during the course of his therapy. From the inner to the outer, the micro to
the macro, two co-existing world views of a child in therapy are explored
and I shall discuss the contrasting nature of this process in greater detail
later. But first I should say something about Daniel and the story that
brought him to play therapy in the first place.
Daniel
Daniel was a 7-year-old boy living at home with his mother, father and
younger sister. Daniels mother had a background of chronic childhood
sexual abuse and associated long-term mental health difficulties, marked
by periodic admissions to psychiatric hospital departments, triggered by
emotional collapse and related hysterical physical manifestations, for
example, loss of use of legs, stomach pains and unexplained fits. She had
attempted suicide on a number of occasions and a diagnosis of
Munchausen syndrome by proxy had been slowly, and somewhat hesitantly, established over a number of years due to both Daniel and his sister
being presented to health professionals with a number of unexplained
injuries and health problems. Consequently, Daniel has spent periods of
time throughout his life in local authority care both on a voluntary and
involuntary basis.
The relationship between Daniel and his mother was characterised by
her extreme mood swings, explosions of anger and contradictory
messages of love and rejection. Her ability to meet the emotional and
physical needs of her children appeared inextricably linked to her own
state of mind. Whilst professionals had noted that she could at times
present as the perfect mother, she has also in the past talked of wanting
42
THE STORY SO FAR
to kill Daniel and threatened to suffocate him with a pillow. This

ambiguity in presentation led to social services walking an increasingly
precarious tightrope between support and protection, along with the
need continually to assess the potential risk to the children.
The rationale for play therapy intervention with Daniel followed a
referral from the familys social worker requesting a period of play
therapy with the specific aim of assessing the impact upon Daniel of the
ongoing difficulties he was experiencing within his family. Daniels
mother had for many years been receiving intensive psychotherapeutic
support and, whilst I had reservations about working with a child in such
an emotionally (and potentially physically) precarious position, I was
equally concerned about what appeared to be the historical pattern of
professional attention focusing on the emotional needs of a parent rather
than those of the children. It was my hope that a therapeutic assessment
of Daniels needs and of the impact upon him of living with a mother
who suffered from severe mental health difficulties, and who potentially
presented some considerable risk to Daniel, would help to shift the focus
of professional attention onto the present and future needs of the
children.
Over the course of eight sessions, Daniel dictated the story of the
Dinosaur and the Super Train. His control over this process was intense,
detailing precisely the wording, spelling and punctuation of his story.
Before even beginning this process of dictation, Daniel wrote out the
alphabet on a separate piece of paper and gave me strict instructions to
write the story in his language. The writing of this story, or the book as
it became known, formed the basis of Daniels play therapy.
The Dinosaur and the Super Train
Long long ago when the dinosaurs lived, there was some certain
dinosaurs which this story is about. There were Tyrannosaurus
Rexs, one Pterodactyl, four Dinonycous, six Diplodocus, four
Triceratops, one Stegasaurus. I really cant tell you all their names
because there are too many of them.
Now lets begin. This story starts when the mother of the T.
Rex was having a baby. It was a girl T. Rex who was very kind
because her mother was very kind. Of course when she grew up
she grew up to be kind.
Now the bit of the story when she was born. She was so cute
when she was born that she was not called T. Rex, she was called
Holly Rex. Oh you are such a lovely baby, she said. When Holly
Rex grew up, when she was three, she made lots and lots of friends
and they were all the ones I told you about at the beginning of this
book. She played lots and lots and lots of games with them and a
lot of games they played with her.
One day there was a strange noise when Holly Rex was playing
with her friends, a woo woo and then a chuff chuff chuff . Holly
Rex said, Whats that? in a whispering voice, and then there was a
strange voice and something appeared on the rails. I am the Super
Train. I have come to save every dinosaur from the evil T. Rex, and
then there was a great big ROAR.
And then the T. Rex came up and said, I will eat you and the
Super Train ran out on the rails and said, Oh no you wont, these
are my friends. I will turn on my wings and turn into a bomber and
drop bombs into your mouth. And then suddenly there was a great
big BANG. There was a puff of smoke and the T. Rex disappeared.
Thank you, said Holly Rex. You saved us from the evil T. Rex.
We didnt know about it. My pleasure, said the Super Train. I
would really appreciate to run my rails all over the land, said the
Super Train. And then there was a puff of smoke and the rails went
all over the land, under the volcano, through the forest, over a big
bridge over the sea, and then suddenly he vanished out of sight but
the rails were still there and they could still hear the chuff chuff
and woo wooing. And then, when Holly Rex got back to the cave
she said, Mum, Ive seen a Super Train. A Super Train, what on
earth is that?, and Holly said, A Super Train can turn into
anything in the whole world.
D:
Pretend Ive written it. Because remember Im telling the

story arent I.
T:
You are telling the story. Its your story.
43
44
THE STORY SO FAR
D:
So, by Danieland sayingby Danieljust drawn by

Daniel and written by Daniel, right?
T:
Where shall I write that?
D:
On the back of there.
T:
Underneath where Ive written the other bit or on the other

side?
D:
No on the back, on the other side.
T:
O.K.
Pause whilst Daniel plays with some lego.

T:
You feel like playing with the lego.
D:
Yes, but Ive got a whole pack of lego at home. Ive told you
that havent I?
T:
Yes you have.
D:
And its so, so biggo on, have you written it yet?
T:
Yes, Ive done that now.
D:
Right, now Dear Peter. Ill just draw, um, before I start
you stop and Ill draw aI think well skip that piece of
paper. Right, try not to tear this piece alright?
T:
Ill do my best.
D:
Draw a line on there. Right, now. That is where Ill do the

pictures so all the writing has to be down there.
T:
O.K.
D:
It has to be in a straight line though.
T:
In a straight line.
D:
Now remember, Ill put the padbecause thats where Ill

do the picture when you are not writingIll put the pad
there, right?
T:
Youll put the pad there.
D:
O.K.
T:
So. You are going to tell me what to write.
D:
Long long ago when the dinosaurs lived (comma), are you
writing it in my language?
T:
I am doing my best to write it like yours.
D:
Well, I hope mummy can read it though because I am going

to take the writing home. If we dont get the writing done
today, because Im going to write as much of it Long long
ago when the dinosaurs lived (comma), there wasthere
wassome certain dinosaurs which this story is about,
because we are telling about the story on this page, there was
three Tyrannosaurus Rexes.
T:
Alright, three Tyrannosaurus Rexes.
D:
Threethe number three, not like that.
T:
You want me to write it as a number and not a word?
D:
Yes. The next time you do a number do it what it looks

likethe number.
T:
Right, O.K., I will do that next time.
D:
One pterodactyl.
T:
O.K.
D:
Four Dinonycous. That is a very long word.
T:
Can you say that one again?
D:
Dinonycous.
T:
Dinonycous.
D:
Because that makes sense because Dinonycouses wouldnt

make sense would it?
T:
No, I guess it wouldnt. You like to get your words just right
dont you?
D:
Yes.
T:
So, weve got three Tyrannosaurus Rexes, one Pterodactyl,

four Dinonycous.
D:
Six Diplodocus. The number.
T:
Sorry.
45
46
THE STORY SO FAR
D:
Its alright, alright. Do you think this is a cool vehicle

[taking transformer car out of box]? Beep beep beep beep
beep.
T:
That looks very cool.
D:
Its a space thing. And do you know what? It lives in space,

and thisthat goes there, I mean therepretend that
thats one of these there and one of these there, and one of
them is up, probably there [manipulating components on
car] and this bit, the one at the back, goes down the tail and
through the front and into there, and one on the topsee, if
there is any danger on the topI have to fold it down into
the middle and into thereand they can see in front, behind
and on top and, I mean, um, one there, one there and one
underneath so that it can go full speed away.
T:
So it can see all around itself to see if there is any danger.
D:
Yes. And do you know what?
T:
What?
D:
Its got guns. Its got guns there, there, there, there, there,
there and there. You see everywhere its got that or that or
that or that then itthose are guns. So its guns on wheels.
T:
So if it saw any danger it could use its guns?
D:
Yes. They shoot a hundred bullets out of each part where

theres a gunat the same time.
T:
What sort of danger do you think it might see?
D:
Oh, when they go to Mars there is such a dangerous danger.

Do you know what it is?
T:
No I dont.
D:
You see itsumitsan alien. Do you know how big the

alien is?
T:
The alien on Mars? No I dont. How big is it?
D:
As big as this playroom and the big playroom down stairs.
T:
That is huge.
D:
And do you know what? Do you know how tall its things
are, the ones on top. Probably about as tall as this playroom.
T:
What does it look like, this alien?
D:
Its got all different coloured spots and its white and its got
long pointed teeth and do you know how big they are?
T:
No I dont.
D:
As big as me. As big as me. Its so big it could swallow the

smallest planet. Whats the smallest planet?
T:
The smallest planet is one called Pluto. Its very far way.
D:
Well, if its Pluto it could swallow good aliens, but he is the

king, so it would get all the aliens of there first and then it
would swallow it, so it could come to Mars. And do you
know how ithow itcouldthis is their friend but the
baddies have more guns, theyve got them all over the place,
in fact they are covered in guns, and their guns are in shields.
T:
Is the alien the king of the bad aliens or the good aliens?
D:
Well, hes king of the good aliens so he is ready for the

baddies becausedo you know what, he has actually got
claws, and do you know where?
T:
No I dont.
D:
Hes got claws on his eyes!
T:
Claws on his eyes?
D:
Yes. And hes got claws all over his face and all over hisin
fact hes got claws everywhere.
T:
That is a very funny place to have claws
D:
Yes.
T:
So does that help him to protect himself or are they for

fighting with?
D:
Its for fighting with and whateverwhenever anybody

who touches him will getdo you know how many people
he can kill?
T:
No I dont.
47
48
THE STORY SO FAR
D:
At the same time, two thousand.
T:
Two thousand! so hes very powerful.
D:
And very big.
T:
What does he eat do you think?
D:
He eats only baddies.
T:
Only baddies?
D:
And aliens. He also eats the baddies vehicles so they cant get
away, and he is such a fast runner. Do you know how big his
feet are? As big as this playroom.
T:
What, each foot!
D:
Yes!
T:
I wouldnt like to meet this alien.
D:
But hes friendly to you because you are friendly arent you?
T:
Yes, Im friendly.
D:
Now if you rob something It doesnt matter if you borrow

something. If, um, someone who is a goody explains that
hethey told him that he has, um, hes um, he has actually,
hes um, he has erits a goody and hes, and hes borrowed
it then he spits him down the watershoot and it cleans him
and then right at the bottom of the planet he comes out,
because he went right through the middle of the planet.
T:
Right through the middle?
D:
Yes.
T:
Can he talk? Has he got a voice?
D:
Yes, hes got a very kind voice when there is goodies around,
but when there is baddies he says in a really gruff
voiceand do you know how loud it is?
T:
No, I dont.
D:
It is so loud. Do you know what? If he roared or shouted

straight at the wall then it would fall to pieces, and do you
know how small those pieces would be? [Indicates with
thumb and forefinger.]
T:
Goodness, that tiny. So he could almost smash the whole

planet with his voice.
D:
No he doesnt, because he never knowshe knows that

there are goodies there and baddies so he only kills the
baddies when they come up. Theres always baddies because
baddies come from different countries, not just from our
country.
T:
Right.
D:
Now lets get on with the storyumfour Diplodocus.
49
Perhaps an appropriate starting point for this exploration into story and
narrative would be to look at some of the differences and similarities
between the two as presented by Daniel, with the aim of defining some of
the key elements inherent within both structures so that a distinction
between the two forms can be made.
A fundamental element that makes a distinction between story and
narrative possible is one of intentionality, in the sense that a story is communicated intentionally and is governed by certain formal rules of
structure and content. Clearly, Daniels story The Dinosaur and the
Super Train contains the classic elements of protagonist, plot, adversary
and outcome and has a well-defined sense of beginning and end.
Narrative, on the other hand, can be viewed as being embedded within
the conversation or interaction between people and is not formalised in
the sense that a story is and not necessarily experienced as a story by the
listener.
Daniel, in the process of telling his story, shifted into an unintentional
and spontaneous narrative sequence facilitated through his play with a
transformer toy. Whilst his fictional narrative contained some elements
of character and plot, for example, the King Aliens battle with the
baddies, it occurred informally within the dialogue between me and
Daniel and was neither signalled by him as a story nor communicated
with that intent. Indeed, it had no formal beginning or end, but simply
existed for a brief moment in time before being swallowed up within the
safety and security of structure and form.
It is interesting also to note the differences in grammatical structure
between the story and narrative. There is a strong sense of self-assurance,
50
THE STORY SO FAR
containment and formality within Daniels story, created through his

controlled use of words and sentences and general desire for grammatical
correctness. This emphasis on structure and careful word selection is in
stark contrast to the hesitant, faltering and at times confusing spontaneity
of the narrative in which words tumble out of Daniel; their meaning
being continuously created at the precise moment of their construction.
In looking at both Daniels story and the narrative text, it struck me
that they each provided a very different representation of how Daniel
viewed his world and indeed how he perceived his own place within that
world. The story of the Dinosaur and the Super Train could be seen to
present an idealised, projective fantasy of how Daniel would like his life
to be in that he creates a picture of a loving, nurturing mother and of a
child, Holly Rex, who is herself both likeable and lovable and with whom
other children want to play.
In contrast to this vision, the narrative text provides an alternative
description of how Daniel experiences himself, his mother and the
immediate world around him, with its dominant themes of fear, danger
and protection. It is as if the underlying but pervasive theme of duality
that runs through Daniels narrative identity has been graphically and
symbolically represented within the stark contrast between the story and
the narrative: one a desperate fantasy of love and nurture and the other a
grim portrayal of fear and confusion.
It is particularly poignant then that Daniel says of his story, I hope
Mummy can read it because I am going to take the writing home. It is the
safe, contained version of reality that Daniel wishes to present to his
mother, perhaps because of the message he wishes to give her or because
it is what he believes she wants to hear, or maybe because it simply feels
safe. There is certainly no clear distinction between truth and fiction in
Daniels world and he has in a sense provided two truths, two world views
which in themselves reinforce the polarities and splits that exist as a result
of the intensely unpredictable and ambivalent behaviour of his mother.
This sense of maternal ambivalence even emerges within the controlled
containment of Daniels story, wherein there is an inexplicable transformation from the kind to the evil T. Rex. So a significant theme of
duality clearly begins to emerge which could be seen graphically to
reflect Daniels experience of a mother who demonstrates her emotional
51
inconsistence through sudden and extreme changes of temperament, and

who could for Daniel be at once both safe and dangerous.
So what does a closer examination of the text reveal about Daniel and
the forces which have shaped his identity? The beginning of Daniels
narrative discourse and departure from the dictation of his story came
about through his spontaneous play with a transformer car. The car
becomes a space thing which to be alert to any potential danger has the
capacity to see in front, behind and on top, as well having the ability to
go full speed away. Daniel goes on to explain that the spaceship is
literally covered in guns as emphasised by his repeated use of the word
there so that it becomes momentarily transformed from being a
spaceship to simply guns on wheels.
If, as discussed earlier, one takes on the concept of text analogy, and
view Daniels use of narrative as an essentially metaphoric expression of
his own identity, we can clearly begin to see the emergent themes of
watchfulness, protection and danger revealed within Daniels narrative
discourse. These are characteristics which may for Daniel form part of
some kind of projective continuum in the sense that they may relate at
different times (or perhaps simultaneously) to his perception of both
himself and his mother, and which within the context of the metaphor of
the spaceship pose the question, whos watching who? If an abused child
internalises the social construction of the abuser, so Daniel struggles with
the distinction between what is his own and what is his mothers identity.
The themes raised here clearly relate to a child who from one moment to
the next is unable to predict the temperament of his mother, and the
image of a spaceship with 360-degree vision, a capacity for a hasty retreat
and bristling with guns, whether they be used for attack or defence, is
powerful indeed.
Daniel next presents us with the image of the alien with pointed teeth
as big as me and which is not only as big as the play therapy room but as
big as the big playroom downstairs. Within the space of 30 seconds
Daniel uses the word big seven times and reveals a frightening sense of
uncontainment which is in stark contrast to the controlled structure of his
story of the Super Train. Daniel takes the symbolic space of the play
therapy room to its very limits in his bid to portray the size of the monster
he has created. It is not bigger than the playrooms but as big and
52
THE STORY SO FAR
although it may have taken both playrooms in the family centre to

contain it, the monster is nevertheless contained. Daniel goes on to
describe the size of the teeth of the alien, and his quick repetition of the
phrase as big as me along with the rest of this whole sequence on size
conveys an urgent and frightening sense of being overwhelmed by
feelings that are barely containable.
It is this sense of uncontainment, so graphically portrayed within the
metaphor of Daniels narrative, that lies at the heart of the desperate
expression of control which was such a prominent feature of Daniels
sessions. The restless and tense body language, incessant talk, obsession
with detail and flashes of frustration and anger if his instructions were not
followed I believe were all part of Daniels way of managing the internal
chaos that he was experiencing a quest for internal containment
through external control. At no time was Daniel able to be still, for fear
perhaps that the alien would overwhelm him. The only way of managing
the resulting anxiety was through his intense manipulation of both the
play therapy space and his relationship with me.
The text then leads us to the concept of good and bad and reveals
some confusion on Daniels part within this passage of the narrative. The
transcript displays a faltering hesitancy as Daniel struggles in his identification with the scene he has created and with the question of who is good
and who is bad. In an attempt to seek some clarification over this issue, I
ask Daniel directly about the nature of the king alien and he clearly states
that it is the king of the good aliens and goes on to set the scene for the
great battle between good and bad. Similarly to many children I have
worked with, Daniel externalises his internal conflict through the
imagery of war, and interestingly at this point Daniel returns to the
weapons imagery used earlier when he says that the baddies are covered
in guns and their guns are in their shields. In relation to the theme of
duality discussed earlier, the image of a shield covered in guns is interesting, in the sense that he has turned the symbolism of protection that one
might usually associate with a shield into something that could also be
used to attack and harm.
Daniel then presents us with a graphic and somewhat frightening
vision of the king of the good aliens, a creature with claws on his
eyesclaws all over his faceclaws everywhere. This is a powerful
53
image indeed and it was only after reading through the transcript several
times that I was struck by its significance. I recalled that one of the
impressions I was left with after meeting Daniels mother was the
intensity of her gaze, to the extent that she brought to mind the expression staring daggers. I could imagine that both the use of her eyes and a
voice that could spin quickly out of control formed a central strategy in
her attempts to manage and control Daniels behaviour. His image of an
alien monster with clawed eyes presents a vivid picture of how he experienced these interactions with his mother. Daniel goes on to to say of the
alien that whenever anybody who touches him will get and the
implications contained within these hanging words can only leave one
guessing at what might have actually happened had anyone gone as far as
to touch the claw-covered creature. Once again, there are possible connections to be made here with a mother who, because of her own experience of childhood sexual abuse, found physical contact and the giving of
affection almost unbearable. It seems that Daniels struggle to understand
and make sense of the complexity of this relationship is central to the
symbolism contained within his fictional narrative.
Daniels depiction of the alien continues, of a monster that can kill
2000 baddies at the same time, which eats their vehicles to prevent them
escaping and which is such a fast runner that each of its feet is the size of
the playroom. The alien is even in possession of two voices, one kind
and one so gruff and loud that it can smash a wall to tiny pieces. In its
entirety, Daniel presents us with a vision of an alien creature which is so
vast and so powerful that it is essentially omnipotent. Although (after
some hesitancy) he establishes its credentials as good, the alien is introduced at the beginning of the sequence as such a dangerous danger. This
sense of ambiguity over the possible temperament of the alien reveals
further the frightening element of unpredictability that Daniel has to
negotiate.
The alien itself is given by Daniel the capacity of being able to distinguish between good and bad, so removing any sense of control that he
might have had over this process, and so further creates an image of an
all-powerful, barely containable creature moving through space and
making indiscriminate judgements about who should live and who
should die. Even if the alien succeeds in eating all the baddies, Daniel
54
THE STORY SO FAR
moves from the narrative sequence back into the story of the Super Train
with the final reminder that theres always baddies, because baddies
come from different countries, not just our country. This again conveys a
stark sense of helplessness and the feeling that the alien creature, with all
its power, strength and size, will ultimately be unable to kill off the surrounding badness. In terms of narrative identity, this image of badness
raises issues about Daniels own personal constructs of blame and guilt
and how, through his dependence upon his emotionally and physically
abusive mother, he has had to internalise the feelings that have resulted
from his abuse. Children often survive these situations by internally
reconstruing events, so blaming themselves for being bad and imagining
their carers as good. In this sense it could be suggested that Daniel has
sacrificed his self in order to maintain the image of a good mother and
constructed a false bad self in order to survive. So Daniels narrative
identity has been abducted by the metaphorical alien and the creature
inhabits an internal psychological landscape into which Daniel has
allowed a fleeting glimpse.
An integral element within the whole narrative sequence is the relationship between Daniel and me, in the sense of its co-creation within the
context of our interaction. Daniel clearly dominates the dialogue in terms
of word count, but I was struck by the extent and nature of his checking
out as he developed the images within the sequence. Did I know what the
danger was? Did I know how big the alien was? Did I know how big its
teeth were? Did I know where its claws were? Daniel is continually developing, constructing and re-evaluating his narrative imagery, a process of
co-construction through the reflective (reflexive?) backdrop provided
through the relationship between us. My interventions, although
minimal, created the reflexive loop within which the metaphoric
narrative could be developed. In this sense the whole of Daniels narrative
sequence with its rich and startling imagery could not have existed
outside the context of the therapeutic relationship.
This brings us back to the notion of hermeneutics and the way in
which it can provide a model for understanding the therapeutic process.
The art therapist Deborah Linesch (1994) described a model of the hermeneutic spiral as a concept that reflects the unending dialectical reverberations of the process of understanding and which in the context of
55
the relationship between therapist and client facilitates the emergence of

a co-construction of meaning, which provides the basis for new meaning
and potential for change. So through being able to externalise his fear, to
visualise, describe, name and manipulate it both verbally and physically,
Daniel can begin to play with the idea of a different relationship with the
conflict which had become so enmeshed with his narrative identity, his
story of himself.
The analysis of Daniels text revealed the extent of the internal
conflicts and ambiguities that he has been living with over the course of
his seven years and an everpresent sense of duality lay at the core of his
identity, as revealed through his narrative discourse. The conflicting and
contradictory themes of nurture and control, safety and danger, good and
bad, were embedded firmly within the text along with the pervasive
themes of watchfulness, fear and an almost overwhelming sense of
uncontainment. Place this in context of a diagnosis of Munchausens
syndrome by proxy, in which a mother on one hand physically and intentionally harms her child in the search for attention and on the other can
be a loving and caring parent, one can truly begin to understand the fears,
splits and confusion which lay at the core of Daniels personal identity.
Daniels text reveals a frozen moment of time within a stream of
narrative discourse, and the notion of text as an analogy for the self has
provided a helpful insight into the construction of his personal and social
identity. Within the context of assessment, which was the primary focus
of my intervention, the process of working with narrative and text was
valuable in that it was possible both to identify and predict existing and
future factors relating to Daniels emotional, social and psychological
development. These included a significant level of internal anxiety,
attachment disorder, difficulty in forming healthy relationships, a
splitting in maternal perception, domineering social interaction and to
some extent a developing difficulty in the capacity for empathy, as
indicated by Daniels dominant and controlling behaviour and problematic peer group relationships. In the longer term, there has to be considerable concern as to how these issues will manifest themselves over the
course of Daniels later years and the internal splitting and dualistic
nature of his identity, so manifest throughout the text, could well indicate
a potential within Daniel for future abusive and dangerous behaviour.
56
THE STORY SO FAR
Of course there is plenty of scope for debate about the limitation of

text itself as an analogy or representation of lived experience. It was the
deconstructionist Derrida (1972) who suggested that there is no clear
window into the inner life of a personhence there can never be a clear,
unambiguous statement of anything, including an intention or meaning.
To an extent Derrida is right and, as acknowledged earlier, any textual
analysis of narrative is always going to be a subjective and multilayered
process. As Daniel constructed a narrative that gave form to his world, he
is also narrated by those around him. It is their stories as well as his own
that he brings into the play therapy space and equally, as play therapist, I
carry my own stories into that same space.
Essentially then, the projective, metaphoric imagery contained
within the narrative allowed Daniel the emotional distance to engage, on
an unconscious and symbolic level, with the internal fears and anxieties
he was experiencing. Whilst there may indeed be no clear window into
the life of a person, Daniel certainly allowed both himself and me a brief
and tantalising glimpse into another world which existed for a brief
moment in time. A model of identity as something that can be revealed
through discourse and ordered through the construction of narrative has
enabled Daniels story to be heard.
References
Andersen, T. (1992) Reflections on reflecting with families. In K.J. Gergen and

S. McNamee (eds) Therapy as Social Construction. London: Sage, pp.54 68.
Derrida, J. (1972) Structure, sign and play in the discourse of the human
sciences. In R. Macksey and E. Donato (eds) The Structuralist Controversy: The
Language of Criticism and the Sciences of Man. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins
University Press.
Hardy, B. (1968) Towards a poetic fiction of life: an approach through
narrative. In H. Rosen Stories and Meanings. Sheffield: NATE Papers in
Education, p.13.
Harre, R. (1994) The Discursive Mind. London: Sage.
Hoffman, L. (1992) A reflexive stance for family therapy. In K.J. Gergen and S.
McNamee (eds) Therapy as Social Construction. London: Sage, pp.724.
Lax, W.D. (1992) Postmodern thinking in a clinical practice. In K.J. Gergen
and S. McNamee (eds) Therapy as Social Construction. London: Sage,
pp.6985.
57
Le Guin, U. (1980) It was a dark and stormy night; or why are we huddling
about the campfire? In H. Rosen Stories and Meanings. Sheffield: NATE
Papers in Education, p.29.
Linesch, D. (1994) Interpretation in art therapy research and practice: the
hermeneutic circle. The Arts in Psychotherapy 3, 185195.
Polkinghorne, D. (1988) Narrative knowing and the human sciences. In J.
Bruner (1990) Acts of Meaning. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press,
p.115.
White, M. and Epston, D. (1990) Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. New York:
Norton.
Wood, D. (1991) On Paul Ricoeur: Narrative and Interpretation. London:
Routledge.
Jeffrey the Dog
A Search for Shared Meaning

Sue Allanson
She sat on the chair, sitting as if she wasnt there, not looking, not
speaking, hoping I would not see her. That is how our story began
together. I did not know then that stories would help her find her voice. It
began that first session with me reading to her a childrens story and for
the first time she looked up in response to the sound of my voice reading
about a far-off land. I cannot remember how she came to tell her own first
story, just the excitement as the words came flowing out of her mouth, the
mouth of a woman who had been labelled as learning disabled throughout her education. She started to illustrate her stories with small pencil
drawings and the stories just continued to flow.
Lisa
For Lisa, an 18-year-old black young woman, stories provided her with
the dramatic distancing that fiction can provide and enabled her to
describe tragedy, abandonment, love and sometimes resolution. She
interwove elements of her own life story into the stories she told. She was
then able to receive my comments of empathy and dismay at the
treatment which the child had been given in the story. These expressions
of her own worth, if directly conveyed to her at this stage in the therapy,
might have been too overwhelming. She was able to absorb them from
59
60
THE STORY SO FAR
me as her audience. She revealed the low self-esteem in which she held
herself as a black woman through the telling of a tale of twins where one
was fair and beautiful and the other dark and ugly. The dark twin ran
away at the age of 8 because of the unfair treatment she was receiving
compared to the sister. The mother did however care enough about her
to search for her in the story, found her and returned home with her. The
story ended with the comment that the mother loved her in spite of the
fact that she was ugly. The story bore some similarity to the girls own life
in that she was removed from home at the age of 8 with her sister who
was white. She had been sexually abused by her stepfather and rejected
and disbelieved by her mother. She was then subjected to sexual and
racist abuse by her foster carers. The story was told at the point that she
was in a caring foster home which had had a positive effect on her, but
her poor self-identity as a black woman was still apparent.
This young woman continued to make stories in the sessions,
sometimes needing no prompts or structure other than the play materials
available, using the figures or the puppets to tell the story. Sometimes I
would select a story which I thought might resonate with her because of
the themes of rejection, brutality and abandonment, but which included
some hope and resolution. She never actually told me her story in the first
person, but we both knew she had told it in other ways. She ended her
therapy by writing a story for other children who came to see me. This
story described a girl who had been abused and who told her mother. She
believed her, comforted her and informed the relevant agencies, ending
in the abuser being imprisoned for a very long time. This story could not
have been more different from what had happened to her, but I felt the
story she told was the one that she knew should have happened. There
was comfort, belief, punishment and adults taking responsibility for
ensuring there was justice for a vulnerable child. She had developed a
sense of fairness despite what had happened to her. She wanted to make it
right for herself. This was the story she wrote:
JEFFREY THE DOG: A SEARCH FOR SHARED MEANING
Something Happened to Moesha

Once upon a time there was a young girl called Moesha who felt
very lonely and pretty much in the dark. She was feeling hurt and
pretty much unloved, hurt and ugly and dirty. She thought that
nobody wanted to know her and was very scared and very frightened. She had a secret but didnt want to tell anybody because of
the way she was feeling and didnt think anybody would believe
her anyway. She kept it to herself and just didnt want to go to
school just wanted to stay in her room all the time like she was
imprisoned.
Figure 3.1
Her mother was pretty much worried about her and was
wondering why she wasnt her normal self, like cheerful and
playful and loving.
She kept on asking her all these questions: Why she didnt
want to go to school, why she was always sad and miserable and if
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62
THE STORY SO FAR
there was anything she could do to help her, but Moesha didnt
answer and her mother asked her if she wanted to talk. Moesha
refused and said everything was all right but really deep down
inside it wasnt all right and she wanted to tell her mother very
badly but couldnt as she was scared. Her mother then called up to
her and said everything would be all right. Do you want a drink?
she asked her.
Her mother knew there was something upsetting her as
mothers do know when their children are upset. Moesha said,
Leave me alone, I dont want anything. But her mother refused to
leave her on her own. Her mother was curious to find out what was
wrong and would not leave her until she had got to the bottom of
it. Moesha still wouldnt tell her mother what happened that day.
Her mother was getting really upset now as she didnt know what
was going on. She shouted at Moesha, Tell me else I cant help
you.
Moesha realised that her mother was only trying to help her so
she started to tell her mum what had happened. She told her mum
that her father had touched her where he shouldnt have. Her
mother burst into tears and hugged her and then went and told the
police what had happened.
Figure 3.2
63
Later the police came round to ask Moesha some questions.

Moesha told them what happened when she went to her fathers
house, cos her parents had split up about two years ago. Her father
was later arrested and put into custody and her mother said that she
was safe now. Moesha hugged her mother and thanked her. Her
mother said if she had a secret like that again she mustnt keep it to
herself and she must tell people. He went to court and admitted it
all and said how sorry he was and was sent to prison. Moesha was
pleased.
The End
Lisa had managed to transcend the distortions she had been fed and was
able to give voice to her own sense of knowing of fairness, through the
vehicle of storytelling. I think that this last story of Lisas shows that
creating stories can enable children to start to imagine other healthier
constructions of reality which they can be in control of, dissimilar to their
own lived life so far. Creating and thereby experiencing this reality can
have a beneficial effect on children who have experienced some adults as
brutal and controlling and received no retribution.
The magic of stories

Stories and metaphors are professed to have a more direct impact on
emotions and behaviour because the information is processed in the right
hemisphere of the brain.
Bettleheim (1976) thought that the attraction of fairy tales to
children was that they helped them to cope with the psychological
problems of growing up and enabled them to resolve their particular
psychic struggles. He noticed how different children remembered
different elements in stories and attributed this to them highlighting
aspects that were resonant with their own existential predicament.
Stories are being increasingly used by researchers and therapists as
assessment and therapeutic tools. Buchsbaum et al. (1992) used story
stems to prompt stories from children. Story stems are the beginnings of a
story which are told by researchers or therapists to stimulate the child into
64
THE STORY SO FAR
continuing with a story of their own. They sometimes introduce ethical

dilemmas or describe relationship difficulties to provoke a response from
the child. There were marked differences between the kind of stories
abused children told compared to those who were not. They found that
the stories from the abused group of children contained more aggression,
punitiveness and abusive language and they frequently perceived the self
as bad.
Lahad and Cohen (1997) developed the six-part story structure to
elicit stories from the child which could then be analysed for the childs
dominant coping styles. This can then assist the therapist in identifying
which therapeutic intervention would be most effective, building on their
strengths initially rather than focusing on the trauma. Gardner (1993)
felt that the dilemma for psychotherapists has been how to use childrens
stories in therapy in order to promote a childs well-being. He argues
against the psychoanalytic model of the need to bring the unconscious
into conscious awareness in that he had experienced children being
resistant to such an analysis. This led him to develop the mutual storytelling technique in which he would encourage a child spontaneously to tell
a story. He would deduce its psychodynamic meaning and respond with a
story of his own, introducing healthier resolutions. From the engagement
with which the children received the story, he would gauge how accurate
his interpretation had been. Childrens stories seem to reflect more accurately their inner world and preoccupations than directly questioning
them about their lives reveals.
Negotiating the relationship

Is it enough to facilitate a child telling a story and to listen attentively or
should the therapist be more active in order to enhance the therapeutic
process without directing to such a point that it becomes less the childs
story and more the therapists? Lineschs (1994) research is useful in
describing this relationship through the concept of the hermeneutic
circle in art therapy. She describes a spiral which the therapist enters in
order to explore meaning with the client, so allowing the images to
unfold further meaning:
65
This spiralcreates a backdrop for therapeutic conversation and

then engages with the client and the therapists in a dialectical experience out of which emerges joint constructions of meaning on
which can be based new understandings and the possibility for
change. (Linesch 1994, p.190)
She describes how the roles can then be child as expert with the therapist
as learner, rather than the other way round. This model provides a
balanced framework as the story that a child tells may have been distorted
by the abuser, so passively listening to the child would not necessarily
promote a healthier story in itself. The therapist with their own construction of reality can, through dialogue, explore with the child their
meaning and out of that can come something created within the relationship, neither one nor the other, the story the child needs to tell and then to
hear the response.
When a stone is not just a stone

Children can be resistant to returning to their stories once they have been
told or responding to an adults desire to know what it means. A story
which has vibrancy and importance in one session may be viewed with
almost disinterest in the next, with the therapist lagging behind still
excitedly clutching at what is now history. Children have lessons to teach
us about their ability to let go of the object of their creation, the fluidity of
life and the mercurial nature of feelings. Sometimes my own desire to
understand the meaning behind the stories I am told can block the very
creative process I want to encourage. By wanting to fix a meaning, the
story can be prevented from having a life force of its own, to ebb and flow,
to explore dark caves and then leave them behind.
The paradox is to be able to be open to as many meanings as possible,
letting go of certainty in order to find a shared meaning together, so that
the child can feel understood and their concerns attended to through the
metaphors of the story. The journey into the labyrinth is unique to each
child. Previous maps drawn by others may hinder rather than help us
explore that particular childs territory. Therein lies one of the difficulties
of research into the creative art therapies: metaphors can be unconvincing
witnesses unless you are a child.
66
THE STORY SO FAR
Jeffrey, the dog, however, is one such witness; a witness to Kristens

progress in therapy, but more than that her talisman, her power animal or
the embodiment of her self-care. I had decided to combine my role of
therapist with that of researcher in order to examine the stories which
children told in therapy to test out whether they reflected the meaning
they had made of their lives. Prior to seeing Kristen, I decided that I
would transcribe three stories she told in therapy, one at the beginning,
one in the middle (as far as this was possible to know) and one near the
end, analysing them for themes. Kristen had been sexually abused by her
father who was in prison when she started coming to see me. She was
white, 8 years of age and lived with her mother and three other siblings. I
am intentionally not giving much case history in order to invite the
reader to be more able to know Kristen through her stories. You may
also want to pause before reading my interpretation to be open to your
own. It was tempting to devise a structure which I could then apply to all
the stories but I could see the benefit of applying the concept of the hermeneutic circle in order to enable the story to continue to evolve in a way
which did not fix it in time and allowed for new meanings to emerge
through the dialogue. This would allow for the potential of alternative
stories and meanings to develop through the dialogical relationship.
In the second therapy session I asked Kristen to tell a story using any
of the small figures I had selected. There were 25 figures in total ranging
from different kinds of animals, prehistoric, domestic and wild, people
figures and objects, which were more ambiguous, so allowing for more
imaginative projections. She took a long time selecting the figures and
seemed to have difficulty starting. This idea of projective play seemed
unfamiliar to her, but once she started the story it was told with an
urgency, where she hardly paused for breath. This is her first story:
Once upon a time there was a dog called Jeffrey. She went for a
walk and saw Kristen, she tripped her up, trip, and then she went
back, and she told me to and fetch her so I went and fetched her
and picked her up and brought her back home, then my daddy
went to work and then he came back from work he took the dog
for a walk, so he went walking through the mud, he took him to
the park, then he took him back and then mummy came out, then
67
mummy went to buy some sweeties and then mummy came back
and grandma went for a walk with the dog again and the dog got
covered, so grandma went back and slipped up, so she went back
up and went to get daddy. She stayed there and she went to find
the doggy, Doggy, where are you? And then we went back and
then mummy tripped up, so then we had to get mummy back up
and then Zara came and she messed, and Kristen messed the room,
messing up the room, and then Zara went down and to tell mum
and then Kristen got sent to bed and then they went to the fair, my
family, and then they saw a dinosaur and when they got there they
all fell over. And then there was the keeper and he picked them all
up and then he went back home and had a nice drink and they had
a very good time and the dog disappeared, and they couldnt find
him and they saw a spider in her bedroom and so she went to her
bedroom aaargh theres a spider so the dinosaur came and ate it
and then he ate it, and then they went on holiday and they started
playing in the sand, Zara did, so she got the sand and buried
everybody up. They sent her to bed and went back home. It took
her half an hour to bury them all up. And when she had buried
them, she ran away and when all the sand got away they went to
look for her and couldnt find her and then they went to a
policeman.
S:
And what did the police have to say?
K:
The police said it was their fault.
S:
Why was it their fault?
K:
For letting their child go with them.
S:
So where has Zara gone?
K:
She went to live with her grandma, cos she had another
grandma and then she got back home The End.
But what does it all mean?

Kristens tentative beginnings were in sharp contrast to the eventual flow
of the story. It had an urgency in the telling, linear time ceased to have
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THE STORY SO FAR
importance, grammar flew out of the window and it felt as if it was vital
for her to tell it. It took Kristen a painstakingly long time for her to
choose the figures and even though I told her the characters could be
imaginary ones she chose to name them after her family, but then
swopped the names around so it was all very confusing. Some dramatic
distancing did start to evolve though. She started as the storyteller in the
first person; and then she went back and she told me to and fetch her, so I
went and fetched her, and then she quickly moved into the third person.
This story illustrates well the idea of stories opening up alternative
possibilities. She describes two parallel sequences before deciding which
path to go down: so she got the sand and buried everybody upthey
sent her to bed and went back homeand when she buried them she ran
way and then when all the sand got away they went to look for her and
couldnt find her.
Conducting the story in the sandtray offers the possibility of a
different texture and dimension to the story. The concepts of life and
death or almost death can be conveyed. The underworld beneath the sand
can be used to express feelings of safety when hidden, or helplessness
which may be a reminder of the feelings evoked when your body has
been colonised by someone who is bigger and stronger than you. The
near-death experience can be shown as well as surviving against all odds.
This was vividly expressed by another child in one of her stories, where
the sand both literally through the therapeutic value of its sensory
elements and metaphorically contained the tiny almost imperceptible
seed of hope and survival:
Once upon a time there were animals, who could not stay in the
water for too long or the sand as they would die. When they are
older they can choose where they live so they dont have to keep
moving
Then there was a storm and it went on for three days. It
stopped. All the animals were nearly drowned, the trees have gone,
only the goose is still alive as its on the pond.
The next night there is a storm again. The animals are now
drowned but a couple of years later they are still alive as there is
food under the sand
69
The burying in the sand in Kristens story could be interpreted as the justifiable anger felt by the protagonist in the story towards the adults.
However no logical reason for this is given in the story and although the
police, representing justice, agreed she was justified in her actions and
blamed the adults, this could not be explained satisfactorily in words:
they went to look for her and couldnt find her and then they went to a
policeman.
S:
And what did the police have to say?
K:
The police said it was their fault.
S:
Why was it their fault?
K:
For letting their child go with them.
The meaning I placed on this following the dialogue I had with Kristen
whilst she was still immersed in the storys meaning was that the burying
of the adults had some emotional meaning for her. In relation to her own
life we could speculate that she felt angry with the adults around her for
not protecting her from the abuse, which can be a commonly held feeling
by children who have been sexually abused, regardless of the mothers
actions. At this point in Kristens life, her relationship with her mother
had deteriorated to such a point that her mother was not able to say
anything positive about her and described her as aggressive and
unhelpful.
The terrain of the sand also enabled Kristen to convey the instability
and precariousness of life events through the persistent tripping, slipping
and messing that went on in the first part of the story. Did the ground no
longer feel solid for Kristen after her traumatic experiences? There was
no one in this landscape that the main character could rely on, hence the
ending of the story with the main character going off to live with her
grandmother who just appeared magically at the end of the story. Again
through dialogue with Kristen about the ending I got the impression that
she felt that the only resolution at the moment was to have this fantasy
ending in order for her needs to be met:
S:
Could anyone say anything to persuade Zara to live back at

home?
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THE STORY SO FAR
K:
Grandma could have asked her why she wasnt back with
her parents.
S:
Could there be another ending?
K:
No.
I found that trying to enter into a dialogue about the story the following
week or even when it had just been completed was usually met with
patient but disinterested responses, the authenticity of the answers being
somewhat dubious. It was another reminder for me about how the need
to know can impede the therapeutic process. Staying with my interest
about one of the characters in the story had much more resonance for
Kristen. Linesch (1994), in her article on exploring the role which interpretation has within art therapy, states that we should ask the question:
Where does the imagery point us? not, What is behind the imagery?
(p.191).
This question reminded me to maintain a focus on exploring shared
meaning between Kristen and me rather than deciding on an interpretation and selecting data which confirmed this the process then defining
which meanings are more acceptable and thereby silencing the childs
voice. Linesch encourages her client to expand on her metaphor of a
house through image making and conversation and demonstrates how
the client was able to reconstruct her personal meaning of self through
this process.
My overall impression was that the story seemed quite confused and
chaotic with no coherent close relationships being described between the
adults and children except for grandma and Zara, which is conjured up in
the last few sentences of the story. The dog seemed to be an anchor in the
beginning of the story, having a relationship with most of the characters,
whereas they were all quite separate from each other. The first disappearance of the dog resulted in bringing them altogether to look for it. The
final disappearance of the dog was linked with them all having a good
time together: and they had a very good time and the dog disappeared.
I wanted to know more about this dog, who he was and what
meaning he might have for Kristen, and she was eager to tell me. Again
she became immersed in the story and it was obvious that Jeffrey had a
meaning for her of emotional significance. I was reminded again of the
71
power of stories to convey more accurately the emotional tapestry of

childrens lives. Buchsbaum et al. (1992) illustrate this with their
comments on their findings: The same child who answered fine when
queried about his relationship with his maltreating mother during a
clinical interview session, elaborated on themes of maternal neglect,
rejection and punitiveness throughout the course of the narrative technique (p.617). I asked Kristen to tell me more about Jeffrey and she told
me this next story:
My Dog Jeffrey
My dog Jeffrey lived in a pet shop and when I was 19 on my
birthday I went to the petshop and bought Jeffrey. I had a list of
names and they told you about what they were like.
He was fierce to people and he was really a nice dog to me so I
bought him. I put him on a lead and then we went home and then
he had his food, his supper, I watched TV and then I made myself a
cup of tea and Jeffrey had his nice water and when it was time for
bed me and Jeffrey went to bed.
Jeffrey woke me up in the middle of the night. Jeffrey met
another dog and its name was Jenny and they went out and they
had some puppies and then Jenny went to live with us and Jeffrey
and then he had his own room to his self. But in the middle of the
night hed still wake me and bark and bark and bark. He was
barking at people who came up the stairs.
But when we were downstairs we didnt know who it was. We
stayed downstairs and Jeffrey stayed awake and in the morning
Jenny wondered where Jeffrey was. If Jeffrey hadnt barked we
could have had things stolen.
Time had a magical quality to it with whole life events happening as if in
an instance:
Jeffrey woke me in the middle of the night. Jeffrey met another dog
and its name was Jenny and they went out and had some puppies and
then Jenny went to live with us.
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THE STORY SO FAR
There is also no clear ending which I thought may reflect Kristens continuing need for his presence in her life at that time. She viewed him as
her protector and through the actual telling of the story she begins to
show a lessening need for him, an example of how the actual creating of
an imagined reality can begin to have an effect in itself. We start off
telling how things are and then by the telling it changes in front of our
eyes. I think Jeffrey gives a vivid example of how stories not only reflect
childrens inner worlds but can then transform them. The dialogue with
Kristen later demonstrates this.
There is a clear linking between cause and effect in the description of
a hero whose purpose is clear and who has intentions behind his actions
which result in certain consequences. Bruner (1986) describes these
ingredients as important in the narrative mode: If Jeffrey hadnt barked
we could have had things stolen.
The story overall appears less chaotic than the first story she told.
There are fewer characters and their relationships to each other are easier
to understand. Kristen continues to tell the story in the first person. She
started the story being very clear about what kind of dog she wanted: I
had a list of names and they told you about what they were like. I speculated that Kristen wanted the dog in her story to externalise the fierceness
that she was showing towards other people in her life at this time: He was
fierce to people and he was really a nice dog to me so I bought him.
I wondered if the aggression was a coping strategy to prevent anyone
getting near enough to hurt her again. If you did not know who to trust,
then barking at everyone seems like a good idea. She needed him to be
very close to her when she first got him. He slept in her room: and when
it was time for bed me and Jeffrey went to bed.
No one could get into her room without him barking and waking her
up. I wondered if the intruders in the night could be representing her not
feeling safe. It was even scarier if you did not know who the intruders
were. Feelings of generalised anxiety and fears can be common effects for
children who have been sexually abused:
But in the middle of the night hed still wake me and bark and bark
and bark. He was barking at people who came up the stairs. But
when we went downstairs we didnt know who it was.
73
I wondered whether Jeffrey going off and having his own life and
separate relationship and family represented a lessening of a need for him
to protect her as much as he had done, that she was feeling less scared in
her life than she did. She still needed to know however that he was
available to her just in case she needed him: and then Jenny went to live
with us and Jeffrey and then he had his own room to his self. But in the
middle of the night hed still wake me.
I explored the meaning of the story for Kristen about two months
after she told it. She told me that she had been very, very, very scared
before Jeffrey cameand I feel a bit happier now. She corrected the age
she was when he came to 10 rather than 19. She told me the people had
been coming up the stairs to steal Jeffrey.
I introduced the idea of Jeffrey as a talking dog in order to check out
my interpretations of his meaning for her:
S:
OK so is there anything else you think Jeffrey would say.

What would he say now?
K:
That he was glad I was starting to get happy.
S:
Right. That he was glad that you were getting happy [K

saying yeah]. So hes noticed has he that youre getting
happier? How could he tell that then?
K:
Cos, every night when I go to bed he comes and gets me to

sleep and that, and I started to get really happy.
S:
Oh.
K:
I dont need him.
Jeffrey had played an important role in Kristens healing and as he could

talk he had provided me with some helpful insight about the positive
changes that had occurred for Kristen. I had also been told by her mother
that their relationship was much closer and that she was not showing the
aggression she had previously. Jeffreys opinions were very valuable in
deciding the appropriate time to end therapy for Kristen. Sometimes I am
aware that childrens agreement to ending therapy may be more a
reflection of their powerlessness and compliance than positive decision
making. Whilst considering the ending of Kristens therapy, I introduced
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THE STORY SO FAR
the same structure as I had for the first story, giving her the same figures
without suggesting a theme. She then told her last story:
K:
Once upon a time there was a mummy called Sue, a daddy

called Mark and a little girl called Sinead and they had four
horses and three cows and three ducks and they had people
used to come and visit them, and one day when they all three
went to the park they went to meet a friend, and they went to
go to the shop.
S:
And how did they get there, to the park?
K:
They went out the house, go through the back, gone out the
gate, go through there and to the shop. And then they went
to buy some bread from the shop to feed the ducks and then
they went all the way to the pond and they gave them all the
stuff and chucked some bread. And the ducks kept eating
them until they found out all the bread was gone, and when
they got home they had some supper.
S:
Who makes the supper?
K:
Dad makes the supper.
S:
What does mum do whilst dads making the supper?
K:
Putting the bath on for the baby Oh, we havent got a

bath?
S:
Shall we have this as a bath?
K:
Yeah.
S:
Ill put baby in the bath shall I?
K:
Yeah.
S:
And mums over there bathing baby and dads making tea.
What is he making for tea?
K:
Cornish pasty, and when they ate their dinner, baby went to
bed, and when baby went to bed mummy washed the pots,
whilst daddy read a story. And when he read baby a story,
and when he finished he came downstairs and then mummy
and daddy always watches TV and when they watch TV the
baby creeped downstairs, because mummy and daddy fell

asleep, and she creeped downstairs.
S:
Did she know they were asleep?
K:
Yep and then they watched TV, and she went back upstairs.
S:
They didnt know she was there?
K:
No, and then she went upstairs and went back to bed and
then after when mummy and daddy woken up they went to
bed, but daddy went to bed and then mummy went to check
on her and she was OK and they turned the [inaudible] and
they all went to sleep, but then there was a burglar and he
took their purses and left and they heard a noise and all they
could see was a tree. Baby and mummy went downstairs and
all they could see was a tree and they couldnt find their
handbags, so they called the police and told them and soon
after that they smelled fire and there was fire so they pulled
the fire alarm and went to the station. And they saw what
handprints were on that tree and then they found the purses,
they found him, and after they found him he went to
prison.
S:
So who found the burglar?
K:
The police.
S:
Right, and how did they know it was him?
K:
Because of the handprints.
S:
So let me get this right. When mummy and baby went off to
the police station, what was daddy doing?
K:
He was asleep.
S:
So they didnt bother waking him?
K:
No.
S:
No, so what do you think he felt when he woke up that they

werent there?
K:
He wondered where they were, and then he went to the

station to find out where they were.
75
76
THE STORY SO FAR
S:
So he went to the police station to find out where they were,

and then he found them. Yeah OK. [Pause.] So does
anything else happen in this story? Is that it?
K:
Uh, Uh.
S:
OK then.
Kristen locates the beginning of the story in the home followed by a trip
to the park to return home where the dramatic high point of the story is
developed, similar to the second story. This story follows conventional
time and logical sequencing, all of the story taking place within 24 hours.
Although she still uses the names of people in her life for the characters in
her story, on this occasion she is clearly in the role of storyteller.
Although Kristen starts with a lot of potential characters, four horses,
three cows, three ducks, a mummy, a daddy, a baby and a friend, the
central characters soon become the mummy, daddy and baby. Although
the mummy and daddy are shown to have a relationship with each other
separate from baby, mummy is clearly paired with baby. This is the first
time that this relationship has been to the forefront in Kristens stories.
Another striking feature for me was that within the story there were
activities from the adults in relation to the child which were focused on
satisfying the childs basic needs. The childs emotional needs were being
satisfied through doing something child centred altogether by going to
the park to feed the ducks. She was being comforted and stimulated intellectually through being read to by her father. She was physically cared for
by her father making supper and her mother bathing her. Her safety was
being considered by her mother checking on her in the night whilst she
slept. Hodges and Steele (2000), in their research using story stems, have
commented on the description of ordinary domestic pleasures being
more prominent in stories told by children from non-abusive homes or in
adoptive homes compared to the ones told by children who had been
abused.
In the second part of the story the theme of intruders in the night
reappears, but with some important differences. Theres no sign of Jeffrey,
so I wondered whether this might reflect Kristens increasing ability to be
able to trust adults to protect her and keep her safe. This time the child is
77
supported by the mother and they get up together to pursue the intruder,
seeking help from the police.
In dialogue with Kristen about the story she said it was a happy and
scared story. She liked the character of the mother best and thought that
the baby was the most scared. She thought daddy was happy and brave
because he could beat up anyone. I pointed out that he was sleeping
whilst mummy and daughter went off in pursuit. She said that they
thought it was the girls turn not to be scared!
In analysing them together the following headings emerged: main
characters, themes, sensory experiences, endings, intentions. I have
therefore grouped examples from the text under these headings in Table
3.1.
Needs
One of the striking changes in the stories was the way that the main characters needs were met. In the first one they were met outside the family.
In the second, they were met through the form of an animal and in the
final one all the basic needs of the child were itemised: food, shelter, stimulation, love and health and met by the parents. This progression was also
reflected in the mother and daughters relationship through the period of
therapy, so providing some external evidence that childrens stories do
reflect their reality.
Relationships
In the first story there were many characters who acted independently of
each other with some shared activities. The way that Kristen set them out
was in a long line looking outwards, with none of the figures facing each
other. In story two there is a combination of shared activities and separate
activities. In story three all the characters have relationships with each
other and as a whole group. The progression of the stories reflects an
increasing appreciation of relationships as varied and nourishing and
finally displaying a balance between autonomy and interrelationships
which are satisfying.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Table 3.1 Analysis of stories

Story 1
Story 2
Story 3
Characters
10
2 and self
Qualities
Good
Fierce
Brave
Horrible
Kind
Scared
Happy
Bad
Helpful
Themes
Sensory
experiences
Separate activities
Separate and shared

activities
Shared activities in
group and pairs
Fear of being
punished
Fear of unknown
intruders in the
night
Needs not being met
Need for protection

met by animal
Fear of intruder
identified as outside
the family unit. All
childs needs met by
carers
Dinosaur ate the

spider
Watch TV
Buy some bread
Tripping up
bark and bark and

bark
Ducks eating all the

bread
Being buried
He had his food, his

supper
Making tea
Covered
Cup of tea
Cornish pasty
Mess
Nice drink
Ate their dinner
Nice drink
See a tree
Buy some sweeties
Hearing a noise
Smell of fire
Watch TV
Sleep
Bathing baby
Ending
Resolution through
heroine living
outside family
Living at home with

dog, no sign of
carers
Living at home with

carers, resolution of
safety issues,
intruder in prison.
Intentions
Mum will miss her

when shes gone
Dog needed less

now to keep her safe
Girls can be brave

too
79
Fear
Fear in the night is common to stories two and three. In story two the
intruder was unknown which could be more scary. The way that the
intruders were dealt with seemed to be different: in story two the intruder
was unknown and perhaps therefore this is more scary and she had to rely
on a dog to scare them away. In the third story the mother and daughter
joined forces: the intruder was imprisoned and therefore the object of the
fear was known and dealt with, so not leaving residual anxiety of further
intrusions.
Sensory experiences
Sensory experiences are prominent in all Kristens stories but the full
range of all the senses is present in the final story: taste, touch, sight, smell
and hearing. Fahlberg (1994) states that if a babys expression of discomfort is not responded to by a carer that tension continues for the baby and
their capacity to perceive the outside world is reduced. That Kristen did
have a general appreciation of the sensory experiences in the world
coupled with other observations indicated she had a secure attachment to
her mother, but the trauma of her experiences had temporarily affected
their relationship. When Kristen started coming for therapy she was
showing signs of her distress through her behaviour, but her mother did
not know how to comfort her. Using this hypothesis we can see that as
her ability to describe the sensory experiences in her stories expanded, so
her ability to receive comfort increased and her mothers ability to give it
to her. As the tension and fear in her inner world had less of a grip she was
able to relax and enjoy ordinary domestic pleasures again.
Endings
The endings of the stories also seem to reflect the themes already highlighted. In the first story the main character ends up living outside the
home without an idea about how this could change. In story two the resolution is achieved through the introduction of a protective character. In
story three the fear is dealt with and removed outside the home.
80
THE STORY SO FAR
New meanings
Stories offer a way of organising events when nothing seems predictable
any more. They provide a grain of hope where there has been a famine for
the last seven years, which when planted flourishes and replenishes itself.
The power of being able to scare your audience and for you to decide
when and how it will end is good, but is there something more? Perhaps
it is to relinquish a little control and give the other a small part in the
drama just as long as they do not take over. After all they do seem to be
interested in your stories, even the gruesome ones. Gradually that need to
be right because the world can be a scary place no longer dominates all
the time and it seems much more fun again to have someone join in, even
if they get it wrong sometimes.
Kristen was able to show me the chaos in her world where the rules
about fairness and justice were incomprehensible and you have to invent
your own endings and protectors to tackle the demons in your life. The
stories reflected the past and the present and she was able to try out
possible solutions to see how that felt. She was able to express her
feelings through the fierceness of Jeffrey and started to experience a
feeling of safety within the story. This in turn seemed to enable her to
absorb the care and protection that was there for her in her life and for
those who cared for her to be able to respond more warmly when they
were not being kept at a distance by her aggression.
Of course these are only my interpretations, but they are backed up by
Jeffrey in places, so perhaps it is more fitting that we end this chapter with
the words of Jeffrey and Kristen:
S:
What would he [Jeffrey] say now?
K:
That he was glad I was starting to get really happy
K:
I dont need him.
The process of seeking shared meaning is paradoxically both simple and

complex. There is a need to let go of certainty in order to allow other
meanings to emerge within the therapeutic relationship, let go of being
the expert, the one who knows, of introducing happy endings with the
eagerness of a rescuer. One thing known is that, despite sometimes
clumsy attempts to understand, something happens and the stories
81
change. They tell us but in a way that were still not quite sure. The child
continues to hold the key and that is the magic as this last dialogue with
Kristen shows:
S:
So do you think Ive understood this story properly then?
K:
Bits of it.
S:
[Laughs]
K:
I think you did.
References
Bettelheim, B. (1976) The Uses of Enchantment. London: Thames & Hudson.

Bruner, J. (1986) Actual Minds, Possible Worlds. Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press.
Buchsbaum, H., Toth, S., Clyman, R., Cicchetti, D. and Emde, R. (1992) The
Use of a Narrative Story Stem Technique with Maltreated Children. USA:
Cambridge University Press.
Fahlberg, V. (1994) The Childs Journey through Placement. London: BAAF.
Gardner, R. (1993) Story Telling in Psychotherapy with Children. Northvale, NJ:
Jason Aronson.
Hodges, J. and Steele, M. (1999) The Effects of Abuse on Attachment
Representations: Narrative Assessments of Abused Children. Journal of
Child Psychotherapy 26, 3, 433455.
Lahad, M. and Cohen, A. (eds) (1997) Community Stress Prevention. Israel:
Community Stress Prevention Centre.
Linesch, D. (1994) Interpretation in art therapy research and practice: the
hermeneutic circle. The Arts in Psychotherapy 14, 1, 7784.
All that Glitters is not Gold

The Adoption Process
as a Rite of Passage
Ruth Watson
They found the treasure but they did not live happily ever after.
A little background information

In the period following World War II, adoption was seen as a solution to
the problem of infertility. This was a time when nurture was supposed to
rule over nature. Great effort was put into matching infant and parents in
an attempt to create a family as much like a biological one as possible. An
adoptable infant was, generally speaking, white, healthy, of normal
development and from an acceptable background. For the prospective
adopters, there were strict regulations regarding such things as age,
religion and length of marriage before they could be considered suitable
to adopt.
Bowlbys (1969) theories on maternal deprivation and bonding were
very influential. It was thought that children separated from their parents
after the age of two would fail to attach themselves to adoptive parents.
By the late 1960s older children or those with even a minor disability
were not considered for adoption and were likely to be raised in residential accommodation. Adoption was more concerned with the interests of
those adopting rather than the children.
83
84
THE STORY SO FAR
By the 1970s there was a drastic drop in the number of young white
children available for adoption. This in part was explained by more
effective contraception methods, the legalisation of abortion and also in
part the result of changing sexual mores. In Britain it was increasingly
socially acceptable for a single parent to raise a child. The availability of
state welfare benefits now made it financially possible for some single
parents.
By the 1970s awareness was growing of the thousands of children in
either residential care or foster homes who had no realistic possibility of
returning home to their own families. These were not the children traditionally seen as adoptable. They were older, some with physical or mental
disabilities, some of mixed race, some had siblings and many of the
children came from a background of abuse and neglect. These children
came to be known as special needs or hard to place children.
Happily, both in the UK and USA, projects demonstrated that these
children could be found adoptive families, and there was a shift to finding
families for children as opposed to children for families. This resulted
in broader definitions of suitable family placements.
The children now placed for adoption have experienced difficult
childhoods and need help to deal with these painful and traumatic
memories of the past. The adoption worker needs to explore with the
children their ideas about a new family and their wishes, expectations
and fantasies about family life.
The decision to remove a child from his or her family and to find a
new permanent family is one that is not made lightly. It involves a great
many systems working to make the best decision where the childs
welfare is paramount. In Figure 4.1 I have tried to give a sense of the
many systems involved. The reasons for adoption are many and varied.
The common theme is that the child is in care to the local authority, and a
decision has been made regarding the future, as to whether the child
needs short-term or long-term care. The decision to place a child for
adoption will be made, and then a search for a suitable family begins. The
move to adoption starts at the point when a suitable family has been identified and the local authority has made the decision that they can meet the
childs needs. Introductions then begin from the foster family to the
adoptive family, and it is at this point that play therapists can play a part in
ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD: THE ADOPTION PROCESS
85
helping the child in the transition of leaving one family and joining
another.
Figure 4.1 The many systems involved in making the decisions about removing the child
from the birth family and placing in an adoptive home.
Children in transition: play therapy with Kate

This is the story of Kate, a 9-year-old girl who is in care to the local
authority and of her journey from foster family to adoptive home. It is
also a story of discovery, a new way of structuring transitional work for a
child in care going from foster home to adoptive placement.
86
THE STORY SO FAR
Conversations with myself

When I was asked to do this work, my first conversation was with myself.
Could I find a way of empowering Kate in a co-creative relationship? She
had already experienced an imbalance of power between adults and
herself through the involvement of courts and local authorities making
decisions about her present and future life. Could she trust me enough to
tell her story, or was I just another bossy adult who came to tell her what
had been decided for her?
My personal philosophy of direct work with children is that I follow
the children in relation to the story they need to tell. It is my responsibility to provide a safe structure, both emotional and physical, within which
their story may be told. This containment and safety is especially crucial
in a situation where the child is encouraged to take control.
My approach is predominately that of social construction theory
through narratives between child and therapist within a framework of
creative play. Within this framework I do not have to be neutral or take a
dominant power position. We establish a relationship together where
both child and therapist have their own special knowledge and skills to
bring to the relationship.
My aim is to encourage the children to explore and make sense of
their world through play. I always try to work in a way which enables the
child to lead the way. It is important that the play they create is their own
and not mine. I hoped to enable Kate to deal with the major life changes
she would experience.
I had been interested in the subject of rituals as a way of helping
children in transition. I had not been happy with the way they were
currently used in direct work with children as a way of leaving the past
behind. However, I was aware that a number of writers saw rituals as
having a cathartic effect. Eldelman (1971) described this in relation to
direct work with children and Jennings (1993) as a response to situations
of anxiety and fear. The rituals required for transitions like adoption need
to be fluid and Van Genneps Rites of Passage (1960) provided the idea of
progression through stages: that not only went forward but could also
pause or sometimes go backwards. Kates transition would not just be a
linear progression as she dealt with this difficult period in her life.
87
Van Gennep observed that the life of the individual in any society is a
series of passages from one age to another and from one occupation to
another. He states that there are distinctions between age or occupation
groups, with the progression from one group to another marked by
special acts, likening them to an old apprenticeship in the trades. Van
Genneps stages in the development of rituals are as follows:
Stage 1: Separation and loss
Stage 2: Transition or in-between
Stage 3: Incorporation or reincorporation.
From my observation of childrens transitions from being fostered to

being adopted, there appeared to be a need for a rite of passage which
would help the child make sense of the major changes taking place in
their young lives. As a non-anthropologist I initially wondered if one
could create a rite of passage for an individual going through this transition. However, I then thought that people, ordinary people like me, do
create their own rituals, particularly in times of crisis. This is supported by
the work of Turner (1982) who explores the links between ritual and
theatre, explaining the connections between social dramas that
punctuate our lives both on the large scale and the small scale.
Jennings (1993) states that we place a ritualistic frame around certain
life events such as birth and death which enables a special form of
reworking to take place that is both collective and in the public domain.
She describes the concept of the healing ritual, which she maintains is
part of the passage through life, providing signposts which mark major
changes in status and relationships as well as life crisis or illness. We also
ritualise the aspects of our belief system in order to make symbolic statements which affirm our beliefs. All of the arts are part of a ritual: art,
music, dance and drama. She makes the point that, no matter how impoverished we are, we have a basic need for the creative experience and
artistic expression. Theatre and ritual are essential for survival and allow
us to develop not only as individuals but also as communal groups. She
sees rituals as assisting us to know who we are and where we are, as well
as providing boundaries for the journeys of the dramatic imagination.
An important feature of ritualised events is that they are often
rehearsed, thus helping us to know what to expect. This then enables us
88
THE STORY SO FAR
to move into other events or try something that is less familiar or

unknown. This aspect could be important for children waiting to join a
new family who might use play rituals to practise family life.
As a play therapist I could connect the concept of rites of passage with
aspects of play to create an ideal framework to contain Kates journey as
she moved from one status to another. In adoption work, some practitioners do involve the use of rituals, often preparing children for adoption
by creating life story books. Ryan and Walker (1985) describe this as a
way to help children understand what has happened to them from birth
to the present.
Rituals are sometimes used by the social worker, for example, the
candle ritual which was originated by Jewitt (1982). She considers that
these rituals provide markers which could be helpful to the child.
However, these are rituals that the worker constructs and the child takes
part instructed by the adult. Jewitt described one of the rituals:
A row of candles is used to represent all the people that the child has
loved in his life. In front of this row, a candle is placed to symbolise
the child. Lighting the candle it is explained that it represents his
birth when he came into the world with an inborn ability to love
people. Next, if it is significant, the first candle representing his
natural mother is lit and it is explained that this was the first person
he loved. Down the line the process continues, a candle being lit for
each new situation the child moved into and each new person he
loved. He is told that because he was born with the ability to love
people, it is not necessary to extinguish the love for a previous
caretaker before he can love another. (Jewitt 1982)
However, in my mind neither Ryan and Walker (1985), nor Jewitt (1982)
address the complex family issues involved in adoption, particularly the
conflict of loyalty that the child may feel about beginning to attach to the
new family.
One of the most difficult tasks in adoption is helping children move
into an adoptive family when the court has made the decision that the
child cannot be cared for in their own birth family. The birth family is
often opposed to the adoption and is not able to give the child permission
to move on. This leaves the child torn by guilt over their family of origin
89
and a feeling of disloyalty as they begin to form bonds with their new
family.
What Van Gennep (1960) illuminated is still valid: that this is a
process from one social status to another. He describes rituals which deal
with key life changes like coming of age, marriage, birth and death.
Whereas he was looking at existing cultures and subgroups, the child
moving to adoption and I create our own culture where the transition can
happen. There is no formal rite of passage for adoption.
The play therapy

I do not work in a formal setting. I work instead with the children where
they are living, either in the foster or adoptive home. This means I must
take with me all the media that the children can choose to play with, so I
have some limitations on the material I can offer.
Initially, I take a large selection of toys in separate bags. I have a
monster bag, a bag of sea creatures, a collection of family dolls of various
ethnic groups, farm animals, dolls furniture, toy mobile phones, plenty of
paper and pens, felt tip pens, glitter glue pens, dressing up clothes,
puppets and fingerpaints. The child chooses what media they want to use
and how. We either work on the floor or I bring a magic mat which represents the playroom. Before working I explain to the child my role and
how we will work and play, and together we create the playroom rules.
I also meet with the earlier foster family and the adoptive family and
they complete a permission slip. I give them some printed information
about play therapy, along with our complaints procedure.
If the child tells me a story during the dramatic play, I carefully write
it down. I give the child the choice of either having a special book into
which I write the stories direct, or else we create a special folder with their
photograph on the outside and decorate it, and I bring their story typed
on my next visit.
Kate was very clear that she wanted a folder with her photo on it,
which she then decorated, and I would bring her typed stories to her. At
the end of each session Kate and I would discuss what she wanted to share
with her adoptive parent. We would then do a presentation together and
perhaps read her story and show her drawings or artwork.
90
THE STORY SO FAR
Kates family
Kate is 9 years old and has been in care to a local authority for a number
of years. She is the second youngest of four children, having a brother of
20, who was adopted as a baby, a sister of 18 who was living independently and a younger sister of 6 who was placed with her (Figure 4.2). The
children were taken into care following the conviction and imprisonment
of an adult family member. As so often happens, the story of the family
was difficult to untangle, although there do seem to be instances of abuse,
unknown fathers and other incidences of sexual abuse.
Kate is a bright, intelligent and articulate child who loves reading and
creative play, but she is also watchful and suspicious of adults, in particular social workers. She has a tendency to be secretive. Physically she is a
striking looking child, with long black curly hair and green eyes.
Her social skills are a concern. She is finding it hard to make friends in
her peer group, tending to be overly bossy and controlling. Within her
relationship with her brother Peter, she is close to him, overprotective,
but also watchful in case Peter gets more than her or something she does
not get. Kate relates more easily to men than women and indeed is quite
flirtatious with men. She had a strong relationship with her older sister,
Gina, but contact was terminated because it was felt that Ginas influence
through manipulation and self-harm was negative.
Figure 4.2 Kates birth family
91
The aim of the intervention was to help Kate make sense of the transition
from foster care to an adoptive family. This meant helping Kate explore
the families she has known and answer the question who is my family to
her satisfaction. There were 14 sessions of play therapy, which took place
over a period of eight months. The therapy began in the foster home with
four sessions. When Kate moved into the adoptive home I met her there.
Kate was free to choose whatever play materials she wished. There
was a wide variety of portable media including glitter glue pens, gold and
silver pens, puppets, miniature dolls and dolls furniture, toy mobile
phones, toys, dressing-up clothes, dramatic role play, stories and poems.
Kate quickly established her favourites and did not use much of the
media. Her sessions soon developed a pattern and she enjoyed drawing
and dramatic play best.
I employed a multidimensional model of play therapy where the centrality of play is acknowledged. It was important for me to assist Kate to
make sense of her chaotic world. In the play and storymaking Kate
created narratives, with me being part of that narrative, as opposed to me
making interpretations and being a reflective presence.
Kates entire life had been turned upside down. She had been
removed from her birth family and was in transition from foster to
adoptive family. Her life was in turmoil and everything known and
familiar was lost. In these circumstances, my question was whether Kate
would be able to create her own rites of passage, if given the opportunity.
Do rites of passage help a child feel safe, and would they help Kate deal
with her move to an adoptive family? For me, it felt like an act of faith.
Could we make rituals to mark the transition from one family to another?
If rituals were created and performed, could they become embedded
within the individual and continue to work as a positive structure to cope
with change? I was interested to explore whether Kate could be helped to
find her own healing rituals.
For Kate the play therapy process was an exploration via play, narratives and dramatic role play. The form and content was decided by Kate,
and I was an active participant in that process, sometimes entering into
the play, sometimes expanding it by asking questions or clarifying
information, but also keeping the play safe. I was responsible for the
92
THE STORY SO FAR
boundaries of play. The journey we undertook had many twists and

turns, the occasional false start and the odd dead end.
To use Cattanachs words (1992), for all children who begin by being
lost in the maze of abuse there are three stages in the play therapy
process. The first stage concerns the establishment of a relationship
between child and therapist, so that trust is engendered and the transitional space between therapist and child is a safe place for exploration.
The therapist can become aware of the specific problems presented by the
child at this stage. In the second stage, child and therapist explore
through toys, objects and dramatic play but in a more focused way, to
help integrate and make sense of some of the horror of the past. There is
much repetitive play at this stage. The goal of the final stage is to develop
self-esteem and identity not so bound up in abusive relationships of the
past. The child needs to feel that they are not being judged, but rather
respected and heard, but at all times it is critical to keep the child safe.
It seemed to me that there were links here with Van Genneps (1960)
work on rituals, so in my work with Kate I wanted to see if she could be
helped to discover Van Genneps three stages in the development of rites
of passage.
Stage one: separation and loss

During the early sessions Kate explored a variety of themes to do with
sadness and separation. Initially we spent some time looking at what Kate
wanted in a new family. The family must be nice, kind and not be cross in
the morning. Kate wanted contact with her older sister but acknowledged that she would not be able to see her mother and father. In Kates
stories the theme of death reoccurs time and time again.
Kates first story was about Natalie who is a sad little 9-year-old girl
whose mother left her because she did not do as she was told. Natalie
lived with her sister Lorna, Lornas dad Tom, and her brother Earl:
Natalie is a sad 9-year-old little girl whose mother left her because
she did not do as she was told. Lorna had to leave school because
people kept asking her where her mother was.
Again in session three the theme continued, with the story of two
children, Dominic and Sarah, who lived with their grandfather because
93
their parents had been killed in a car crash. The children were not with
their parents in the car when it happened, but were home alone. They
were very frightened being on their own; frightened that someone might
come and knock on their door. They were worried that it might be their
mothers boyfriend Robert, who is big and would hit them. The story
was accompanied by a gold and glitter drawing of Sarah and Dominic. In
the next part of the story, the children are with friends, one of whose
mother does not look after them or care. Then Kate told this story:
Chris was with the children. Sarah was good with children and she
loved looking after them. Sarah wanted to be an adult, so she could
look after the little kids.
One day it was Sarahs birthday, people kept knocking at the
door in Grandpas house. It was her friend Natalie.
Sarah was pleased to see Natalie.
Dominic said, Why are you here idiot?
Sarah goes, Why did you call my friend an idiot, you are the
idiot, you dont know how to clean your teeth properly.
After a few hours, Natalie had to go home because her mother
did not know she was there.
Her mum was not looking for her, her mother is never cross,
she doesnt care.
Everyone else would be worried except her mum.
However, for me, the most poignant story was the poem Kate wrote about
her mother and sister who live on the bottom of a pond. This was the first
session after Kate had moved into her adoptive home. She began the
session with a drawing of the windows and doors of her former foster
home. There was no structure for the house, just doors and windows.
Kate had said she wanted to draw something from her past. She went on
to draw the garden and a golden pond with fish and water lilies, which
was the garden of the previous foster family. Then she wrote her poem
(Figure 4.3):
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THE STORY SO FAR
The Deep Pond

The pond is yellow
Yellow like the sun
Its pretty and I love it
Gina lives in the pond with mum
They live on the bottom of the pond
No one lives with them
The pond is in Court Lane
And they are happy.
Figure 4.3 Kates poem to her mother and sister, who live in the bottom of the pond
95
Kate then narrated a brief story.

She sits under a golden apple tree with golden apples.
She is sitting by herself.
She has a good book called Spice.
Her favourite Spice Girl is Baby Spice.
The apples have all gone bad.
There is a worm in the apples.
At the end of this session, Kate wanted to sit on her adoptive mothers lap
whilst she read a story of Kates choice, Tom Thumb.
Stage two: transition or in-between

A recurrent theme for Kate was love hearts. They first appeared in session
three when she drew a card with love hearts on it for her prospective
adoptive mother. They appeared in session four and briefly in session
five, then there was a break then till session seven. This story is from
session four (Figure 4.4):
The hero was Mickey Mouse; he lives with his wife Minnie. He
wants to find the treasure, gold in a chest with a lock on it, in it
there are golden necklaces with love hearts on them, his wife is to
help him find the treasure.
Minnie Mouse spilt blood, No its not blood, its tomato sauce
on her wonderful golden dress that has love hearts on it.
Eventually Minnie and Mickey find the treasure, but they do
not live happily ever after.
In session five Kate describes apples which have gone bad because there is
a worm inside them, but there is also a love heart. It says I love you.
From session seven onwards love hearts appeared in every session,
always making an appearance towards the end of the session when Kate
would like to draw and I had to copy her exactly. She always drew love
hearts. I asked myself, what do love hearts mean to Kate? Are they part of
the safe status passage, a reassuring familiar symbol?
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THE STORY SO FAR
Figure 4.4 Session four: Minnie Mouse split blood, no its tomato sauce on her
wonderful golden dress that has love hearts on it
Stage three: incorporation

The Spice Girls made their appearance in session five, the first session
after Kate moved into her new home. They appeared in a number of her
drawings and I had to copy her drawing exactly. Failure to do so resulted
in a severe telling off or the threat of some punishment. The Spice Girls
then made appearances in most sessions.
In session seven, in her story the little girl aged 7 lives with her
brother aged 19. Again their parents are dead, but the little girl is having a
party and is dressing up as a Spice Girl. In the story I was the child and
Kate the punitive adult, who would threaten me with the ultimate
sanction, which was being sent to the childrens home for naughty girls.
In dramatic play, we did Spice Girl dances. Kate was Baby Spice and I
was Ancient Spice. We prepared and practised for our concerts. We
dressed up, were very sexy and admired. But as always I had to obey Kate,
otherwise I was threatened with being sent home. In a number of sessions
that followed we were Spice Girls, Baby and Ancient, and we would
dance and perform. I was always under Kates watchful eyes and any
deviation was liable to the threat of harsh punishments.
97
In session eleven we were making a story for television. There were

four girls, aged 9, who lived with their mum. Their father does not want
their mum. He sees other women and only sees the girls once a month.
The theme then changed and we were Spice Girls. Kate was Baby Spice
and I was Ancient Spice. We were going to the school disco, but we were
also schoolgirls going to the disco and we dressed up. I was her best
friend Laura, aged 14. We had to do Spice Girl dances and we practised.
We flipped in and out of reality, checking out the boys at the disco.
In the final two sessions we were Spice Girls, but we were also mother
and daughter, who were invited to sing and dance at the Spice Girl
concerts. We performed our hearts out and again I had to obey Kate absolutely or be punished. Finally, we were girls going to Spice Girl concerts,
where we too had to perform, and so we had to practise our dancing and
dress up. Again I was in trouble for not doing as I was told and was taken
home, because as the child I did not do as I was told. But I was later taken
back.
Other themes
Control issues
A major theme was of control, where it would seem that for the first time
Kate had some control over her environment or situation. Her exploration of this issue links with mothers. We see at the beginning harsh and
punitive mothers, but as the sessions progress we see her exploring a more
hopeful situation where mothers can become better.
In session six, Kate developed a story which we enacted. I was
Claudia and Kate was her mother. The scene started with mother
phoning Claudia, telling her off and complaining about her. Then
Claudia came home and mother dragged her to her room and hit her for
giving cheek. Claudia cried and cried and her mother got angrier and
angrier.
In session seven the dramatic play involved two children, a girl aged 7
and a boy aged 19. Their mum and dad are dead.
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THE STORY SO FAR
The girl is having a birthday party.

Her mother promised not to hit her anymore and she is
dressing up as a Spice Girl for the party.
The mother is going to put her in a home for naughty children.
The mum had lived in a childrens home because her mum
slapped and hit her.
The mum told her daughter about the nasty children who lived
there.
The children there died in a fire.
However, as the sessions progressed Kate began exploring a more
hopeful situation where mothers can become better and were kind to
their children, even if this didnt happen all the time. It was from these
sessions that Kate really got into dramatic play and indeed got quite
carried away. I introduced a calming mechanism. The session would
begin with mobile phones with Kate giving me a list of phone numbers
which I had to write down. We would then have a conversation. Often, I
was the social worker and Kate was complaining as mother or foster
mother about her children. Kate was a harsh and punitive mother and I
was the victim or child. It was from session seven that a new pattern
developed. Near to the end of the session we had to sit at the table and she
would draw mainly messages to the Spice Girls and I would have to copy
her drawings exactly.
Mothers
Another theme was mothers harsh, punitive and unforgiving who had
boyfriends who hit and frightened the children. The harsh mother
figured in nine sessions altogether. However, in session seven the mother
is trying to deal with a child in a better way, promising not to hit the child
any more, but later the mother threatens to put the child in a childrens
home for being naughty. In session nine the mother is making efforts to
be a good mother, but has difficulty when her son does not do as he was
told. In the later sessions the mother is having some success in relating to
the child and finally the mother is a good mother who keeps her children
clean and had their hair combed, and they have a teddy.
99
Love hearts
A reoccurring symbol was love hearts that could change and adapt. They
were the transition, the vehicle that allowed Kate to move in a non-linear
way. With hearts you can go back, they can be love hearts filled with hate,
or gone bad, they do not have to be either/or.
The love hearts also provide a graphic illustration that can be easily
understood the black heart and the golden heart. They were the engines
that allowed Kate to move back and forth in her uncertainty between the
stages of transition. They allowed a frightened child in a world where all
was changing to feel she had some control via a symbol that was familiar
and reassuring. Whilst this meant that Kate did not proceed along the
path in a straight way, it allowed her the freedom to return and visit an
earlier stage and so played an important part in helping her deal with the
conflicts of loyalties to the past, especially her mother and sister.
Gold and glitter pens

Finally, the gold and glitter pens were a feature in most of the sessions.
Kate chose to use gold pens in 9 out of 15 sessions. Gold represents
something costly, precious and rare. However, in her drawings Kate illustrated how gold can also cover up or mask something nasty underneath
like worries or anxiety. In session four, Minnies golden dress somehow
gets blood on it. Kate then denied it and said it was now tomato sauce.
Session five saw Kate writing a poem partly in gold. In a later session
Kates golden love hearts turn black with anger, when the child in the
dramatic play does not do as she is told.
This was a time of great anxiety for Kate. Everything in her life was
changing. Kate tries to make some sense of her life and create some order
by coating her drawings with gold. The gold and glitter gives a superficial look of well being, that all is well on the surface reminding me of
the saying All that glitters is not gold.
Closing reflections
For me the experience of working with Kate was an exciting voyage of
adventure, as I struggled to bring together the various theories of social
construction, narrative identity, adoption and its best practice, play
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THE STORY SO FAR
Figure 4.5 Kates love hearts that turned black with anger my drawing was not correct
therapy and anthropology with my overriding aim of helping Kate to

make the best possible transition into her new home.
At times I questioned the advisability of allowing the Spice Girls so
strongly into my work, and here the support of my excellent supervisor
was invaluable. I was able to explore and look at this issue in depth. I was
able to view this area of work in the context of the initiate seeing the
Spice Girls as important since they enabled Kate to bring forth her
idealised young women, the Spice Girls, just as the initiate going into his
ceremonial circumcision has a vision of the sort of warrior he wants to be.
This view helps the young man deal with the pain and discomfort, the
reward being that one day he too will be a brave warrior. For Kate, the
Spice Girls provided her with a role model that she aimed for, hence their
incorporation and weaving into her story.
There was also a sexual element to the Spice Girls, but with safe
boundaries and limits their dancing was certainly quite sexualised, but
here Kate could experiment with being sexy in her dancing within safe
boundaries. The Spice Girls gave me a ritualised context in which to enact
101
idealised roles, create sexualised dancing within safe boundaries as well

as testing social skills for the reality of her future world.
A closing personal observation is that when Kate and I performed at
our concerts we were not only Spice Girls but also mother and daughter
contained safely in distanced roles where I was temporarily in role as a
mother who would share and support her aspirations.
This therapeutic intervention has also been a rite of passage for me,
with the reflection that I too was very much the new initiate, testing out
my own transitional roles within Kates rite of passage. I feel that in the
end I survived what at the time was a baptism of fire, but as always Kate
was able to put things into perspective: No its not blood, its tomato
sauce.
References
Bowlby, J. (1969) Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1 Attachment. London: Hogarth Press.
Bowlby, J. (1980) Attachment and Loss, Vol.2 Separation, Anxiety and Anger.
London: Tavistock, Hogarth Press and Harmondsworth: Penguin.
Bowlby, J. (1980) Attachment and Loss, Vol.3 Loss, Sadness and Depression. London:
Tavistock, Hogarth Press and Harmondsworth: Penguin.
Cattanach, A. (1992) Play Therapy with Abused Children. London: Jessica
Edelman, M. (1971) Politics as Symbolic Action. Chicago: Markham.
Jennings, S. (1993) Playtherapy with Children: A Practitioners Guide. Oxford:
Blackwell.
Jewitt, C. (1982) Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss. London:
Batsford.
Ryan, T. And Walker, R. (1985) Making Life Story Books. London: BAAF.
Turner, V. (1982) From Ritual to Theatre. New York: PAJ. Publications.
Van Gennep, A. (1960) Rites of Passage. London: Routledge.
Further Reading
Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. and Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of

Attachment: Assessed in the Strange Situation and at Home. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Aldgate, J. and Simmonds, J. (1988) Direct Work with Children. London:
Batsford.
Burr, V. (1995) An Introduction to Social Construction. London: Routledge.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Cattanach, A. (1994) Therapy Where the Sky Meets the Underworld. London: Jessica
Cattanach, A. (1996) Drama for People with Special Needs, 2nd edn. London: A. &
C. Black.
Cattanach, A. (1997) Childrens Stories in Play Therapy. London: Jessica Kingsley
Publishers.
Fahlberg, V. (1981) Fitting the Pieces Together. London: BAAF.
Fahlberg, V. (1991) Journey Through Placement. Indianapolis: Perspective Press.
Holmes, J. (1993) John Bowlby & Attachment Theory. London: Routledge.
Jennings, S. (1995) Theatre of Ritual and Transformation. London: Routledge.
Jennings, S. (1998) Dramatherapy with Families, Groups and Individuals. London:
Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Schon, D. (1987) Reflective Practise Educating the Reflective Practitioner. San
Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Triseliotis, J., Shireman, J. and Hundleby, M. (1997) Adoption Theory, Policy and
Practice. London: Cassell.
In the Wake of the Monster

When Trauma Strikes
Alison Kelly
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers oer-fraught heart, and bids it break. (Shakespeare,
Macbeth)
When a teacher is suddenly murdered, how do her class of infants cope

with such a tragic event? A class of 6 year olds were all affected when they
heard of the sudden and shocking death of the teacher they had known
for a considerable portion of their young lives. At such stressful times it
can be helpful to use the metaphor of a story to help children make some
sense of what seems unbearable.
Two years ago I was asked to go and work with a class of such
children, and use a group intervention to support and help them to make
some sense of a very traumatic event. Mrs X had been murdered one
evening on her way home from work. Children heard about it via a
variety of means, some from friends and family, some from the media,
some in assembly at school the next day. Stories varied and events were
distorted and changed according to the source and accuracy of information.
Before meeting the children I met with the staff group who were
deeply shocked at the loss of their colleague and friend. They were struggling to cope with their own individual reactions to the event and their
own personal experiences of loss and trauma. There was great anxiety
103
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THE STORY SO FAR
and fear about how to talk with the children, what to say and what not to
say. There was fear at how they as adults would cope with seeing the
children distressed. One member of staff left the room in distress. She
said afterwards that she found it too painful talking about death and that
it brought up for her painful feelings about personal bereavements she
had experienced. Several teachers were concerned that they should not
cry or show their emotions in front of the children.
For both adults and children alike sudden deaths are more difficult
to cope with. They leave no time for preparation on a mental level,
and the childs sense of security in the world may be shattered. Such
deaths have a stronger impact on the adult world, with consequences
for how childrens needs are handled. In addition, such deaths are
often characterised by traumatic aspects that adults want to shield
the child from. (Dyregrov 1991, p.47)
Before commencing a therapeutic intervention I needed signed permission from every childs parent or carer. The headteacher met resistance
and anxiety from many families about what was meant by the group
work: would it upset the children even more? Everybody eventually
agreed.
One of the integral aims of the intervention was to assess childrens
coping strategies and through processing and exploring their feelings
help to prevent the effects of post traumatic stress, which can and does
occur when feelings following a traumatic event get buried or are so overwhelming because they have not been acknowledged or explored
(Oaklander 1978, p.247).
When I met class B they had all been told of their teachers death by
the head of the school and had also had some time at home experiencing
very different responses from families according to beliefs, cultures and
anxieties and the need for parents to want to protect their children from
such abhorrent reality. I met the 28 children, their substitute teacher and
their familiar classroom assistant at the end of the week which was to
mark the first weekend after the death of their teacher. A group intervention was appropriate not only because the whole group was affected, but
also as a means of assessing how individual children were coping within
the group.
IN THE WAKE OF THE MONSTER: WHEN TRAUMA STRIKES
105
Story as a metaphor
Due to the very young age of the children, I felt that a story was an appropriate way to start as they were not ready to take in cognitive information
at that early stage. It would also offer a metaphor for their loss. Many
stories came to mind that would be fitting after a death, but this death was
very specific in that it was a sudden and brutal death of someone who was
not old or ill but the victim of a violent crime and someone who was
known to them in a very close capacity, and someone who had a huge
impact on their lives.
I chose a story from India, The People Who Hugged the Trees,
because it tells of a child who experiences a sudden and violent assault on
the tree that she loves. Despite attempting to save the tree, she is unsuccessful and thrown aside to witness the brutal destruction of her beloved
tree.
The People Who Hugged the Trees
Long ago in India there lived a girl who loved the trees. Her name
was Amrita. She lived in a village on the edge of a great desert. Just
outside the village grew a forest. Every morning Amrita would run
to the forest, her long braid dancing behind her, and find her
favourite tree. She would wrap her arms around it and feel its
strong rough bark. Amrita kissed her special tree and whispered,
Tree, if ever you are in trouble, I will protect you. The tree
whispered back with a rustle of its leaves.
Her tree shaded her from the hot desert sun and guarded her
from the howling desert sandstorms and wherever trees grow there
is always precious water. The village depended upon that water for
their survival.
In the hot sun Amrita would sit and read under her tree, surrounded by its big branches. Sometimes she would climb up into
the tree, where she had a wonderful view over the forest. She
thought that her tree was the biggest and the most beautiful in the
forest.
One day just before the monsoon rains, a giant sandstorm
whirled in from the desert. In minutes the sky turned dark as night.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Lightening cracked the sky and wind whipped the tree as Amrita
dashed for her house. After the storm ended, there was sand everywhere in Amritas clothes, in her hair and even in her food. But
she was safe and so was her village, because the trees had stood
guard against the worst of the storm.
As Amrita grew so did her love of the trees.
One morning by the well, Amrita spotted a troop of men with
heavy axes. They were heading towards the forest. Cut down
every tree you can find, she heard the chief axeman say. The
Maharajah needs plenty of wood to build his new fortress.
The Maharajah was a powerful prince who ruled over many
villages. His word was law. Amrita was afraid. The tree cutters will
destroy our forest, she thought. Amrita ran to the forest and hid.
From her hiding place she saw the chief axeman swing his blade
towards her special tree. Stop, she shouted as she jumped in front
of her tree to protect it. She hugged her tree with all her might. The
axeman shoved her out of the way and swung his blade. He
chopped and chopped until Amritas tree crashed to the ground.
Amrita knelt down, her eyes filled with tears. Her arms tenderly
grasped the trees dying branches.
When news of Amritas tree reached the village, men, women
and children came running to the forest. Wherever the tree cutters
tried to chop, the villagers stood in their way.
The Maharajah will hear of this! threatened the chief axeman.
But the people would not give in. As soon as the Maharajah heard
the news he was furious. He mounted his fastest horse. These
tree-huggers will pay for disobeying me! Followed by many
soldiers, the Maharajah found the villagers gathered by the well.
Amrita stepped forward. Oh great Prince, we could not let the
axemen destroy our forest, she said. These trees shade us from the
baking sun, they protect us from the sandstorms and show us
where to find precious water.
Without these trees I cannot build my fortress! the Maharajah
insisted.
Without these trees we cannot survive, Amrita replied.
The Maharajah glared at her. Cut them down! he shouted.
107
The villagers raced to the forest as the soldiers flashed their

swords. Step by step the soldiers drew closer, as the sand swirled
about their feet and the leaves shivered on the trees. Just when the
soldiers reached the trees, the wind roared in from the desert,
driving sand so hard they could hardly see.
The soldiers ran from the storm, shielding themselves behind
the trees. Amrita clutched her special tree as it lay on the ground.
The villagers hid their faces as thunder shook the forest. Finally
when the wind was silent, they came out of the forest.
Amrita brushed the sand from her clothes and looked around.
She saw that the trees had stopped the desert from destroying the
well and the rest of the village. The Maharajah stood staring at the
forest. He thought for a long time, then he spoke to Amrita. You
have shown great courage and wisdom to protect your trees. From
this day on they will not be cut down.
The villagers rejoiced when they heard this. Where Amritas
tree had stood they marked a special place. Villagers brought decorations, flowers, ribbons and treasures to decorate Amritas tree. It
became a place where the villagers would go and sit.
One day as Amrita sat there she saw from the roots of the
chopped tree, tiny shoots appear.
Attempting to make some sense of the trauma: a group

intervention
A six-week project
Traumatic aspects of the death are often ignored or glossed over. If
the traumatic circumstances of a death are not worked through, the
childs grieving process may slow down or even stop. (Dyregrov
1991, p.28)
Delayed stress reaction can appear in the aftermath and need special
attention. (Ayalon 1992)
The aim of the intervention was to allow the children and staff involved
in the group the opportunity of exploring and expressing the thoughts
and feelings following the death of their teacher; also to assess how the
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THE STORY SO FAR
children were coping and to look for any signs of children who may be
experiencing emotional difficulties, any signs of post-traumatic stress.
Using a story with a class of 6-year-olds was a way of getting their
interest and attention in a more indirect way than just talking immediately and directly about the death of their teacher. It also gave them an
opportunity not only to listen to the story, but also to choose roles and
enact the story, with the experience of embodying different roles and
characters. They were able to put what happened into an imaginary
context.
An important element from the story was the value put on remembering and creating a ritual to celebrate and remember the tree and express
their sense of loss and grief. It became a place where the villagers would
go and sit, it would not be forgotten. Whilst the story ends with a sense
that life goes on as the new shoots grow and there can be hope for the
future, that was quite far from where the class group work was at the
beginning. As with story the place to start was the beginning and the
beginning of the trauma for the children was the moment of hearing of
the death of their teacher.
WEEK 1: THE BEGINNING
There is a very special quality to a relationship based on storytelling.

There is the storyteller and the listener, and the story acts in the
middle as a way to negotiate a shared meaning between the two.
(Cattanach 1997, p.3)
Our initial session was five days after the murder of Mrs X, at the end of
the first school week since her death. Although I did not know the class, I
was familiar with the school and children would probably have seen me
around the building prior to this intervention. Their substitute teacher
with whom they were very familiar introduced me to the class. There
were also two classroom assistants joining us in the group. It was
important that those adults were seen as part of the group, as it was also an
opportunity for them to share and explore their feelings and for the
children to witness their process equally.
As a group of Year One children they were used to sitting as a group
to hear stories and talk together. I started by saying that I had heard their
109
sad news of Mrs Xs death, and that I was sorry for their loss. I told them
that I had a story that I wanted to tell them which was about a little girl
and something sad and shocking that happened to her. Everybody told
me their name.
I told the story of Amrita and her tree. The children listened intently,
the power of story holding their attention. Almost every child wanted to
choose a role in the subsequent enactment. The carpet area became our
stage and the story unrolled with brief bits of narration from me. Six
children played the little girl; many chose to be trees; two boys chose to
be her special tree; others were villagers or the maharajah and many were
guards and horses. Several children and the adults chose to watch from
the outside. After the enactment, we discussed the story and the feelings
and thoughts the children had. Several children linked her loss to their
own.
I arranged with the class in negotiation with the teacher and
headteacher that I would come back on a weekly basis for a few more
weeks, possibly until after the forthcoming half-term break.
WEEK 2: SHARING FEELINGS
In our efforts to protect children from pain we may deprive them of

their own best means of managing pain and overcoming the effects
of loss. (Lendrum and Syme 1992, p.58)
This session began with recapping of the story, what the children had
remembered and what they had taken symbolically from the story. We
then looked at the links from the story with the death of Mrs X and the
feelings that were evoked. I asked them what they thought when they
heard about her death. The children were very keen to talk about what
they thought and felt on hearing the news. The adult staff also took part
and some voiced their feelings too. Every child and adult did a picture or
image about their experience. Images and pictures varied enormously,
covering a wide spectrum of emotions. It was evident that some children
preferred to talk about it in small groups at the tables as they drew while
others talked in the large group with no apparent difficulty.
The types of images and drawings appeared to be in several categories. Some drew very graphic images of knives and blood, coffins and
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THE STORY SO FAR
tombstones; some drew pictures or words that they connected with Mrs
X. A group of about three boys drew pictures of footballers and football
matches and giggled with each other. It was interesting to see the
different strategies at work. Many children asked lots of questions about
the incident, what it meant, how it impacted on them and their families.
The issue of families and their very different approaches was raised a lot:
My mum says I can go to the funeral, in contrast to My mum and dad
say that a funeral is not a place for children or My gran says Im too
young to go to a funeral.
A sudden loss will often traumatise the parental system. While
children are trying to grasp, understand and make some sense of
what happened, they often face parents who want to shield, shut out,
prevent and hide facts and feelings. Often information is kept
hidden from the child or it is manipulated before it reaches him or
her. Many family secrets have their origin here. (Black 1993, p.30)
After the children had worked in small groups on their drawings we all
came back together as a group and some wanted to share their images.
They also clearly needed an opportunity to share, voice and question
their thoughts and fantasies about the actual death: How did it happen?
How did she die? Did she feel pain? Where did her body go? I was
struck by the childrens directness and apparent uninhibitedness about
asking questions.
I felt that it was important to reassure the children that such a death is
rare. Most people do not die this way. We talked about the different
services that are available in emergencies: that very often the police,
ambulance and fire services are able to help and frequently do prevent
tragedies.
The fact that it was a group activity was helpful as some children
would have their questions answered vicariously, others hearing some
children ask questions had the confidence to ask a question of their own.
Hearing and sharing the shock was clearly beneficial. An acceptance of
tears and giggles, questions or silence was reassuring to the group that
their own individual feelings were valid and accepted.
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WEEK 3: FINDING WAYS TO REMEMBER
The child who is helped to face grief will not only be better
equipped to cope emotionally from day to day but will also not be so
vulnerable to future loss. (McMahon 1992, p.140)
For a large majority of the children, their teachers death also connected
to previous bereavements and losses that they had experienced. Every
child that spoke shared another previous experience of personal loss.
Within a class of 28 6-year-olds there was already a substantial personal
experience of death and loss. In other subsequent interventions with
other school projects on the theme of bereavement, I noted that in every
class there was a sizeable amount of children who had experienced losses
within their immediate family. Many had lost grandparents or family pets
and in each case there was more than one child who had lost a parent or
sibling. One child talked about the baby that had recently died in her
mummys tummy.
In small groups the children drew pictures of Mrs X and how they
would like to remember her. Inevitably this raised more discussion about
her death. We had discussion in general about practical differences
between life and death: what things you can do when you are alive and
what things you can no longer do when you are dead such as breathe,
sleep, eat, talk, etc.
Due to post-mortem investigations, the funeral had not yet been held.
It was to take place before our next session, which was to include the
half-term break. We agreed to have two more sessions after the half-term
break. As a class group we talked about who might be going to the
funeral and what a funeral was; what sorts of things happen at funerals;
who had already been to a funeral. There were also different cultural
influences and rituals that some of the children knew about or had experienced.
We ended this third session by talking about different ways of
remembering Mrs X. Following on from the story about Amrita and her
tree, the class decided that they wanted to create a tree of their own. The
children wanted to make a tree in the classroom that could remain there
for some time; a tree in which they could hang things to remind them of
Mrs X; a tree that would become part of the classroom.
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THE STORY SO FAR
WEEK 4: AFTER THE FUNERAL
Children often tended to be left out of the family grief. They are
often not allowed to attend funerals and are sent away to play when
they really should be joining in the family rituals. (Black 1993, p.31)
This session came after the funeral and in the large group some children
wanted to share with the class that they had been with their parents to the
funeral. Others wanted to hear what had happened and what it had been
like. About five or six children had gone to the funeral while others had
not gone but their parents had. There were lots of questions about what
happens to the body and the coffin after the funeral, where does it go. We
talked about the difference between cremation and burial. Mrs X had
been buried. Some of the children were familiar with or actually went to
the church where she was buried.
In the second part of the session each child and adult had the opportunity to make their own individual leaf to be hung on the tree. Each leaf
was totally unique. Some children wrote poems on the leaf, some wrote
words. One of the adults wrote words of remembrance. Others drew
pictures, some decorated them. We had a large selection of art materials
available: feathers, beads, paint, crayons, felt pens, pencils, fabric, etc. I
noticed that one little boy was crying and one of the adults was comforting him. When I spoke with him, he was clear that he did not want to do a
leaf. He was upset because he had not got on very well with Mrs X and
said that he hadnt really liked her. He seemed to have a mixture of
feelings. He needed to have his feelings validated equally. It gave us the
opportunity to talk about a spectrum of feelings that we experience when
someone dies. He decided that he wanted to decorate a leaf but said that
he did not want to hang it on the tree.
Another little girl cried quietly as she did her picture on the leaf. She
said that it made her sad to think about Mrs X being dead. In her small
group several children talked and shared times that they had cried about
Mrs X.
WEEK 5: ERECTING THE TREE AND HANGING THE LEAVES
Dealing with death is not necessarily depressing or frightening for

children. Ignorance and prohibition are frightening and may lead to
113
an arrest of emotional growth. Knowledge and understanding of

the mysteries of natural phenomena can relieve the living from
crippling anxieties. (Ayalon 1992, p.135)
This session involved making and erecting the three-dimensional tree.

We discussed ideas as a large class group and then in small groups. The
children made parts of the three-dimensional tree that we had agreed on
in small groups. Some made parts of the trunk and others made branches
and roots.
We located a corner of the room that could accommodate the tree. It
had to be central whilst also spacious enough that it was protected and
would not become an obstacle in the room. It involved each child or
group of children bringing their painted pieces of bark, branch or root.
Some were still wet as we constructed, stapled to enable the tree to take
shape. There was a great deal of excitement as the tree began to emerge
from the classroom wall. Its roots went right from the floor and its
branches reached right up and onto the ceiling of the classroom. It was
quite a messy operation! Each child chose coloured ribbon with which to
attach their leaf and decided where on the tree they wanted to hang it.
Every child also had the opportunity to have their photograph taken next
to the tree.
WEEK 6: ENDING
The journey towards recovery comes once we are able to help the
child play again. (Gersie 1987, p.47)
This was the final week of the project. We recapped the previous weeks,
going back to the story, remembering the reason for the project to share
and explore feelings around the death of Mrs X. The tree was now a part
of their classroom, with the leaves gently fluttering in its branches.
I gave every child their photograph mounted in a small green card
with a little leaf on the front. The children appeared happy to receive their
photographs. They had discussion among themselves about where they
would keep their pictures at home. One little girl said that she would keep
it under her pillow. Two children had chosen a photograph of the tree but
not with them in it.
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THE STORY SO FAR
As a class group we discussed how long to leave the tree up and when
and how to dismantle it. It was agreed that the tree would remain up until
the final week of the summer term which would have been their final
week in that class with Mrs X had she been alive. They decided that the
class would do the dismantling themselves and that I would not go back
for that ritual. The children said that they would then take home their
leaves if they wanted to.
Inevitably the theme of this last session was change, memories and
the future. The class asked me if I would come back for the memorial
service that the school was to hold later that term. I accepted the invitation and acknowledged that I would see them all again then. We talked
about the future and obliquely about the importance of hope and a sense
that life will go on, as in the story new shoots eventually appear at the
roots of the felled tree.
Feedback from the school

The feedback from the school was that the children and staff appeared to
have found the intervention helpful. Despite initial concerns from some
of the parents, after the project parents gave positive feedback to the
headteacher.
I did return for the memorial service, where I met up with the class
again. The school had bought a rose tree and planted it in memory of Mrs
X. This was a very appropriate choice and fitting as the class had created
their own tree. It felt as if it linked back to our initial session and the story
with its tree.
In the aftermath
When a death is sudden or happens in a traumatic way, the shock for
both adults and children can be enormous. The child in particular
can suffer anxiety, fear and stress which can affect their entire
emotional and physical well-being. The nature of the death and the
manner in which they are informed has a big effect on them.
(Furman 1974)
115
Due to the traumatic death of their teacher and the fact that there had
been media coverage, it was vital that the children were given as much
clear information as possible in order for them to feel empowered and to
enable them to have the time and space to grieve and find ways of making
some sense for themselves of a very shocking event.
It was also an opportunity for caring and informed adults to help
affirm and validate their spectrum of feelings. This requires that the adults
are confident in supporting and validating the childrens emotions, and as
a consequence have some awareness of their own feelings and what is
evoked for them in seeing children grapple with what they may experience as difficult feelings. It was a significant advantage that there were
also adult staff involved in the class group intervention. They were
mutually beneficial to each other. One of the teachers involved told me
that she had found it very helpful being able to feel real with the
children and not having to totally suppress her own feelings in front of
them.
Professor William Yule of the Institute of Psychiatry and a world
expert in the field of childhood trauma describes in one of his papers
(1992) a 6-year-old boy who survived the sinking of the Herald of Free
Enterprise. The child had drawn many pictures of the bad ferry and often
spoken about it in class with an understanding teacher. The day the
headteacher took the class she forbade him to talk about it again. That
night he began having nightmares and a few months later he tried to kill
himself by sticking a metal rod into an electric socket. He said that he
wanted to die to stop the pictures of the bad ferry in his head.
This illustration of the little boy demonstrates the devastating effect
that can result from a responsible adults attempts to silence painful and
traumatic images. There appears to be a convenient assumption that if
something is not spoken about or ignored, it no longer exists. It has been
my experience that after a certain length of time following a traumatic
event some adults are of the belief that it is best to put it behind you
now.
Very little hard research has been done to provide evidence in this
area with very young children and pre-school children. One is dependent
on information from adults, carers and parents. If they too have been traumatised, it is difficult to sort out direct effects of the trauma on the
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THE STORY SO FAR
children from those mediated by effects on the adults and parents. It is

not surprising that adults are greatly upset to see children traumatised
and distressed. However, it raises the question whether it is to avoid
causing further grief to the child or whether it is also a blocking
mechanism for the adults themselves that they would rather put it
behind them.
Follow-up work: reflection at the time of the

anniversary
Now (after the event) everything is alright
The children are OK now
Why should we wake the monster up? (Lahad 1984, p.3135)
Waking up the monster feels like a very accurate metaphor for many
adults who think that it is far wiser to let the monster sleep and not stir it
all up again. This was the attitude that I was met with when a year after
the group intervention at the school, a year after the teachers death, I
proposed returning to do some follow-up work with the class after the
first anniversary of her death. Although the feedback had been positive
from the school, I felt that it would be valuable to see whether the
children were in fact still coping one year after the traumatic event. It
would also act as a means of assessing the therapeutic value of the intervention and as an assessment tool with the children.
I was met with suspicion, anxiety and concern for the children.
They have got over it now and put it behind them. I wouldnt want to stir
it all up again. It would also stir it up for the parents of the children as
well. Lots of parents were very upset at the time. I would have to deal with
that all again, was the response of the headteacher. She was very
defensive and appeared to respond to me as if I was incredibly insensitive
and wondered why on earth I would want to stir up all those feelings
again.
117
Stirring up feelings
A personal response
Evidence shows that many children, aware of how their parents feel,
proceed then to conform to their parents wishes by excluding from
further processing such information as they already have: and that
having done so, they cease consciously to be aware that they have
ever observed such scenes, formed such impressions or had such
experiences. (Bowlby 1979, p.404)
I have had a long-term interest in the affects of bereavement, especially

on children. When I was 6 years old I experienced the death of my baby
brother. For me his death was clouded in mystery and secrecy. I am aware
that his death and its effects have had an enormous influence on me and
my perceptions of death and loss. That wound was certainly part of the
foundation that influenced my journey to becoming a therapist and I feel
that it has also affected my choice of client group as children.
I have seen clearly with my own 3-year-old daughter when her
grandfather died that she was very aware of her fathers distress and of the
great sense of loss. When she saw him crying she said, You are sad
because grandad died. I was greatly struck by her reaction at just three
and a half years old. It affirmed for me that at the age of 6 I must have
been only too aware of my parents grief. However, as an adult I have no
conscious memory of that period of my life. I am sure that my parents
went to great lengths to try and protect us from their grief and from what
they thought might be too much for me and my sisters to cope with. On
the day of my brothers funeral my sisters and I were apparently taken to
the funfair by family friends. I know that my parents were doing their
best to shield us from the sadness and loss. Thirty-five years ago it was
certainly unusual for children to attend funerals. Even today in our
society many people still believe that it is inappropriate for children to be
involved in the funeral rituals.
Do you want to be buried or burned daddy?

Last year an aunt of my husbands died whom both our daughters knew
quite well. We all went to her funeral; one daughter was 3 and the other 5
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THE STORY SO FAR
years old. They were both fascinated and very curious about the entire
event. We had prepared them by explaining a bit about what to expect in
terms of the coffin, the church, etc. They were full of questions: What is
she wearing in the coffin? Are her eyes closed? Will they lift up the
lid? Can we see inside? During the ceremony they whispered
questions: Why are the curtains closing? Where is she going now?
Although they had lots of questions and comments they were also
very respectful and had a natural sense of the dignity and seriousness of
the occasion. Outside the church as we looked at the flowers we
explained that some people are cremated and some are buried. We looked
at all the flowers and messages from people and they put their own
bunches along with all the others. My elder daughter wanted to read the
tombstones and to know who was buried under them and what their
names were.
In the car on the way to the reception, our elder daughter asked, Do
you want to be buried or burned daddy? I felt a lump in my throat
hearing our daughters discussing their funeral plans, as one said to the
other, We want to be buried next to each other. Can we all be buried in a
row? I was also struck by their relaxed and healthy curiosity about the
very natural and unavoidable reality of death. Their questions and observations were uncensored and spontaneous, often things that I think we as
adults fear or are embarrassed to ask. Do they burn the coffin as well?
Will she feel anything? What do they do with her bones and the bits
that are left?
Why should we wake up the monster?

Adults denial is the principal difficulty for children who are trying
to grapple with death and bereavement. (Lendrum and Syme 1992,
p.113 )
The metaphor of the monster seems particularly appropriate. The fear of

death and grief can feel like or be perceived as something monstrous and
if it is sleeping why should you wake it up? My feeling is that the intervention is not about waking the monster but confronting it, acknowledging and exploring it and perhaps discovering that it is not necessarily the
119
monster we fear it to be. Consequently the follow-up work would not be

about reawakening it, but about reflecting on it and not denying it.
Access to the children was made impossible for follow-up work in the
school where Mrs X had been a teacher. I used this experience to inform
my practice and adapt future initial contact with headteachers following
critical incidents or traumatic events. I then established from the outset
that part of the intervention would involve follow-up work on or around
the anniversary of the event. Subsequent events included: following the
very sudden death of a child from meningitis, the death of a headteacher
after a prolonged terminal illness, the unexpected death of a 9-year-old
child and the suicide of an adolescent. In each case my initial experience
was borne out. Despite the inclusion of stating at the outset that
follow-up work would be an integral part of the intervention package,
the responses were the same. In each case the fear of stirring up feelings
and the insistence that the children have all got over it and are coping
well was greater than accepting that follow up work could be beneficial.
I found myself confronted by the fears and anxieties of responsible
adults which impeded the healing process of the children for whom they
had responsibility. It was evident that there was a thread throughout my
personal and professional experiences connected to adults seeking to
protect children from painful and difficult feelings.
Shielding children from the morbid aspects of life is thus preferred
to helping them acquire coping abilities. (Ayalon 1992, p.134)
Within the education setting I was frequently met with adults inability to
deal with childrens responses to painful emotions. I attended a training
day run by Elizabeth Capewell on Loss, Grief and Trauma in School. I
was interested to discover that my experience was far from unique within
the education framework. I found that the intervention I had carried out
in Mrs Xs school was affirmed and validated. It had been important to
meet the children and staff as soon as possible after the death of their
teacher.
It is valuable to have access quickly after a critical incident; while
people are still in shock they are more open. Once they get through
that initial stage and feel that they have coped it is more difficult
afterwards for people to accept help. (Capewell 1994)
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THE STORY SO FAR
Elizabeth Capewell runs the Centre for Crisis Management in Education

(address at end of chapter), which acts as a focal point for initiatives which
lead to understanding and reduction of post-traumatic and
post-bereavement stress. She developed her model of working following
the events of Hungerford in 1987 where, after massacring 16 people,
Michael Ryan finally killed himself. That event marked the start of her
involvement in a field where she is now an internationally renowned
expert. She states how important she thinks follow-up work is and how
detrimental its lack. She uses the metaphor of not finishing a course of
antibiotics to describe not conducting follow-up work: A crisis can
provide opportunities for much real life learning at a time when children
want and need to find solutions (Capewell 1994)
The area of trauma and death is so emotive that it elicits strong
reactions. The head in the sand approach appears to be quite a common
strategy for coping amongst adults. The denial of many adults of their
own feelings frequently creates barriers to work in schools. Barriers can
be personal and institutional, for example, unresolved past distress and
hidden grief of adults and staff and beliefs about the role of school and
the purpose of education (Capewell 1994).
Adults need to feel secure and confident to acknowledge and face
their own fears, their own monsters, so that they are able to support and
facilitate the process for the children in their care. Staff may be willing to
agree to follow-up work at the time of the crisis, but when the crisis is felt
to be over and the status quo seemingly regained, the possible resurgence
of feelings is not an inviting prospect. However, if we let the monster
sleep and refuse to face the grief or loss, at some time it will reawaken in a
manner that might feel uncontrollable and distressing. If the adults
perceive the trauma as a monster, to the children it may seem something
quite different.
In the story told at the start of the intervention, the maharajah sees
and rewards Amritas courage and wisdom when she protects the precious
trees. To best and most effectively support children through trauma and
loss, the adults around them need to find courage and wisdom to trust
how they can protect, support and empower the children for whom they
are responsible, so that the children will eventually dance in the wake of
the monster.
References
121
Ayalon, O. (1992) Rescue! Community Oriented Preventative Education. Haifa:

Chevron.
Black, D. (1993) Helping young people grieve. In B. Ward and associates
Good Grief 1: Exploring Feelings, Loss and Death with Under Elevens, 2nd edn.
London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Bowlby, J. (1979) On knowing what you are not supposed to know and feeling
what you are not supposed to feel. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry Vol. 24,
404.
Capewell, E. (1994) Systems for Managing Critical Incidents in Schools. Report to
Churchill Memorial Trust. Centre for Crisis Management and Education,
93 Old Newton Road, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 7DE. Tel: 01635 30644
Publishers.
Dyregrov, A. (1991) Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults. London: Jessica
Furman, E. (1974) A Childs Parent Dies: Studies in Childhood Bereavement. New
Haven: Yale University Press.
Gersie, A. (1987) Dramatherapy and play. In S. Jennings (ed) Dramatherapy
Theory and Practice for Teachers and Clinicians. London: Routledge.
Lahad, M. (1984) Working with children under threat of shelling.
Dramatherapy: The British Association of Dramatherapists 7, 2, 3135.
Lendrum, S. and Syme, G. (1992) The Gift of Tears. London:
Tavistock/Routledge.
McMahon, L. (1992) Play Therapy. London: Routledge.
Oaklander, V. (1978) Windows to our Children. USA: Read People Press, p.247.
Shakespeare, W. (1967) Macbeth. London: Penguin.
Yule, W. (1992) The Management of Trauma following disaster. In A. Lowe
and A. Millner (eds) Child and Adolescent Therapy. A Handbook. London: OUP.
The Wounded Hero

Maureen Scott-Nash
For some children exceptional things happen which set them apart from
others. Jamie, aged 7, is one of those children. His story is one of struggle
as he fights the life-threatening illness of leukaemia where he has to
negotiate a painful journey with no escape from the invasive medical
intervention vital for his recovery.
To children diagnosed with leukaemia their world is now a fragmented and unsafe place as they become the main players in the drama of
their illness and face a potentially fatal outcome. The emotional impact of
leukaemia, with its severe threat over a long period of time, has been
referred to as the Damocles syndrome as the sword of Damocles has
come to represent a persistent and paralysing threat of death (Koocher
and OMalley 1981).
While advances in medical technology have heralded enormous
optimism, it is vital to recognise the tremendous challenge presented by
diagnosis of cancer for both the child and family. The expected safe
haven and innocence of childhood has gone as the child with cancer
enters the complex world of hospitals an experience which Spinetta
and Spinetta (1981) have compared to being transplanted into an alien
culture. Life now revolves around frightening and complex medical procedures, while strange smells, sights and sounds can heighten feelings of
fear, insecurity and loss of control. All these fears can be compounded by
the anonymous power of the medical professionals.
123
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THE STORY SO FAR
Whilst much depends on the age and maturity of the child, and the
willingness of adults to divulge information to them about their illness,
the child may have very little understanding of the necessity of essential
treatments and the likelihood of having to endure periods of fatigue and
distressing side effects from the very treatment meant to make you
better. Even with the most sensitive words of reassurance and optimism,
children can pick up parental fears and anxieties and hear medical terminology more usually associated with aggressive warfare and military terminology such as kill, attack, wipe out, invade, antibodies, cell counts,
resistance and defences.
Sontag (1996) points out that the patients body is considered under
attack or invaded by the disease, while needles and tubes become
probing channels for essential but toxic chemicals. The childs body is
bombarded by chemotherapy, radiotherapy and steroids, enduring blood
transfusions, blood tests, bone marrow tests, bone scans and lumbar
punctures, to name but a few of the medical procedures which have now
become everyday words and experiences in a childs scary new world.
This chapter invites you to follow the unfolding journey that Jamie
took in the matrix of play therapy. Frank (1995) found the concept of
illness as a journey emerges recursively as the ill person seeks alternative
ways of being ill: The journey is taken in order to find out what sort of
journey one has been taking. This is the story of how Jamie, injured both
physically and emotionally, sought to reconstruct and restore the sense of
self that had been lost in the midst of his illness.
My approach is predominantly based on social construction theory
where play therapy is seen as a socially constructed process between
therapist and child. Drawing from a pool of creative therapies Jamie and I
co-constructed a space and a relationship that formed a safe and healing
place where together we explored themes of recovery and resolution.
Jamie, who played the passive role in a treatment that can be brutal and
traumatic, gained a sense of autonomy and safety in the gentle reflexive
medium of non-directive play. Through his play, narratives and stories
arose that gave shape and meaning to the ensuing chaos that had threatened to overwhelm him: There is the story teller and the listener, and the
story acts in the middle as a way to negotiate and share meaning between
the two (Cattanach 1997). Whilst I have found that some children are
THE WOUNDED HERO
125
resistant to formalising stories, a narrative in itself can convey their

stories of identity. This child-centred approach, where meanings are
explored together, allowed Jamie to belie feelings of helplessness and
loss of control and to act as the narrator of his own story.
Jamies story had began nine months before our first meeting and just
days before his seventh birthday. As the play therapist attached to the
social work team at a day hospice I received a request for play therapy for
Jamie from his paediatric oncology nurse who oversees his treatment in
both the hospitals and in the community. Jamie had been diagnosed as
having acute lymphoblastic leukaemia within a day of a visit to his GP
and an emergency admission to hospital. Jamies treatment programme
was planned to proceed over a period of two years, later expanded to
three, while monitoring continues for up to five years post diagnosis
before he can be considered to be disease free. Given the best currently
available treatment, over 75 per cent of children in the standard risk
category will remain in permanent remission, but relapse is still all too
common, frequently occurring unexpectedly (Lilleyman 2000).
Whilst the impact of this illness may not in itself be a reason for therapeutic intervention, in Jamies case there were additional factors for
referral. The illness and treatment course is not always linear and essential
treatment can also become life limiting, with complications occurring.
Jamie had experienced frequent emergency admissions to hospital with
recurrent medical problems such as infections as his body reacted to and
rejected the very drugs and treatment needed to ensure a cure, causing
increased pain, discomfort and trepidation.
Jamies parents felt that his fears also stemmed from the difficulties of
receiving treatment within the shared care system between two
hospitals. It is common for children with leukaemia to receive maintenance treatment at their local hospital while more intense treatment is
obtained from a specialist unit, in Jamies case a London hospital.
However, only a short time into his treatment the specialist paediatric
oncology ward was transferred from one London hospital to another
causing a change to a still fragile routine in his programme and leading to
anxiety and uncertainty for both Jamie and his parents at a difficult stage
in his treatment. Shortly after, they endured a slow response from their
local hospital in recognising a seriously painful infection of the pancreas
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THE STORY SO FAR
which left Jamie extremely vulnerable and overwhelmed by his feelings

of helplessness as he struggled to make sense of it all. Consequently,
Jamie had become resistant to and fearful of his essential medical intervention, to the extent that his anticipatory fears were causing distressing
panic attacks between treatments.
The concept of psychic trauma lends itself to understanding the experience of life-threatening illness in childhood. The description of psychic
trauma offered by Terr (1990) relates to an overwhelming sense of helplessness for the child in this situation:
Psychic trauma occurs when a sudden, unexpected, overwhelming
intense emotional blow or series of blows assaults the person from
outside. Traumatic events are external, but they quickly become
incorporated into the mind. A person probably will not become
fully traumatised unless he or she feels utterly helpless during the
event or events. (Terr 1990, p.8)
Sourkes (1995) confirms this loss of control and feelings of helplessness

experienced by seriously ill children as they are overtaken by the shock of
diagnosis, the indelible imprint of the sustained assault on the body and
psyche, and the uncertainty of the outcome; while the culprit in
life-threatening illness is the inexplicable, impersonal, randomness of
fate.
Decisions about what to share with a child with a life-threatening
illness present complex dilemmas for parents and professionals. There is
now much more of an ethos among paediatricians to inform children
about the nature of their disease and proposed treatment. The open proponents approach suggests that children who are informed are more
amenable to treatment, less likely to be difficult patients and better
adjusted because of their greater trust in doctors and parents to tell them
honestly about what is involved (Eiser and Twamley 1999, p.140). The
general trend is to help the child cope through guiding the parents to be
open and honest concerning diagnosis, treatment and prognosis, thereby
allowing the child to adjust at an early stage. If they are told later they
may feel betrayed, shocked and more fearful of the consequences. If the
information is inadequate, children develop their own views built on
fantasy or what is gleaned from parents reactions. But this is no easy task
for a family under stress and struggling towards its own adaptation of
THE WOUNDED HERO
127
living with the threat of the death of their beloved child. Many families
prefer to protect their child from complex and threatening information
as much as possible. They fear this would cause unnecessary distress and
reduce the extent to which the child complied with treatment.
Jamies parents had faced this dilemma and chosen to deal with it on a
need to know basis without giving the full picture. Leukaemia is
obviously a huge shock for any family to cope with and a familys
response to cancer is influenced by social and cultural factors. Jamies
parents held a strong religious faith that underpinned their decision. As
they told me their story, their distress was apparent; nine months on they
were struggling still to believe the unbelievable. Daily they witnessed the
difficult path that Jamies illness was taking as they coped with the
dilemma of having almost to force Jamie to accept the treatment. For him
not to have it was more than they could bear as they grappled with anticipatory fears about the future alongside their deep religious beliefs that all
would be well in the end. They were also coming to terms with the unexpected death of Jamies paternal grandmother just months before Jamies
diagnosis. The social work team at the hospice offered a systemic
approach to all those touched by cancer, ensuring psycho-social support
via counselling, medical and financial advice and practical support to
Jamies parents alongside play therapy and beyond.
As I reflect on my first visit to meet Jamie in his home, my abiding
image is of devoted parents telling an abridged version of their story with
more positive connotations, so making it possible for them to give reassuring smiles for the benefit of their young family. Jamie and his two
younger sisters, aged three and five, were all seeking attention and conversation alongside three dogs and four cats in a room filled with toys. I
marvelled at his parents ability to dispense cuddles, cookies and comfort
to all, while managing to create an image of apparent normality in the
midst of the uncertainty of this illness in their lives.
Jamie was clear about the reason for our work together, but of course
there was an air of anxiety and caution at taking the new and uncharted
path of play therapy in a venue more associated with medical intervention
and illness; daunting for a child who had already been through so much.
To help alleviate these fears and aid a sense of control and autonomy I
invited Jamie to visit my playroom prior to the beginning of our work
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together. Access is via a pleasant reception area and up a flight of stairs

through to the administration part of the hospice, with no sight of
medical personnel or treatment areas essential for the patients use. I do
not benefit from the luxury of my own play space but share a counselling
room which is easily adapted by pushing chairs to one end and creating a
therapeutic space with a mat, cushions, art and play equipment and a
large sandtray.
We established a contract for our work together, agreeing 12 sessions
after school as he had lost a lot of school time through treatment. In the
event we were not able to start for three weeks due to a severe infection in
Jamies Hickman line which meant a hospital admission. Despite our
earlier positive meetings, Jamie arrived for our first session looking
anxious, pale and tired. He was still struggling to recover from his recent
hospital stay. He sat quietly before slowly exploring the play equipment
around him for some time. Deciding to use the paint, he chose a pot of
black fingerpaint and slowly and cautiously painted a shape that
resembled a black heart on the white paper. He then painted two frames
around it the inner one blue and black, the outer one red (Figure 6.1).
His painting conveyed the ever-present threat of his illness, its shape and
colour a visual image of the trauma he experienced to his body. The heart
looked as if it was squashed and trapped in a box. At the most basic level
Jamie was grappling with the concepts that had become salient with the
onslaught of the illness and the recent infection in his Hickman line.
Jamie appeared to be searching his painting intensely as if seeking
some meaning of what was happening inside his body. He then sat back
against the cushions and I asked him to tell me about his painting. Thats
what my heart looked like when I had the infection, he said.
I reflected back on this description of his heart looking black inside.
Jamie confirmed that thats how it was, thats what infections did to it,
made it all black. I asked what colour he thought it was now. Red again,
but my lines clean now, he said. It was important to acknowledge Jamies
fears, without denial. He had shown me how he viewed his heart under
threat, that he felt the impact of the infection in his Hickman line was as
dangerous as the leukaemia. Infections for a child with cancer are of real
concern, often heightened by the wearing of gloves, aprons and masks by
medical staff during procedures and by visitors.
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Figure 6.1 Jamies painting
I was also aware of the fact that Jamies grandmother had died of a heart
attack and I acknowledged that it must feel scary to have a line right
inside his chest. He nodded, adding in an anxious voice that it was right
next to his heart, then shrugged his shoulders to indicate his lack of
options in this matter. I nodded too at the sadness of it all and in the
fullness of silence around us we continued to explore the painting which
was now the focus for our joint sorrow. Jamie suddenly lifted up his
football shirt. This is my Hickman line, he said.
My reaction at seeing this device was genuine surprise, but not shock.
Wow, thats amazing, I said. This physical manifestation of the illness
can impact on the childs sense of identity: compounded with their own
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difficulty in adjusting to an altered body image is the fear of others shock

and revulsion at their appearance. Having seen that I was able to cope
with this image, Jamie told me all about how it worked. Although Jamies
tone was slow and matter of fact as he described the purpose of this
device, it did not belie the emotional anxiety in his voice. However, Jamie
did not touch on the emotional impact of having this device, just on the
technical detail. Such a response is common and, indeed, Sourkes (1995)
found that intellectualising facts can often be a crucial defence as a means
of coping for a child with a life-threatening illness.
The central venous catheter, consisting of thin plastic tubes, is pushed
under the skin of the chest, tunnelled over the outside of the ribs and
inserted into the large vein directly above the heart and stitched into
place. The aim of this device is to make the administration of treatments
easier for the child. Chemotherapy drugs, antibiotics, blood products and
blood sampling can be administered via the capped barrels hanging from
the wound in his chest. However, the Hickman line is not without its
problems, requiring scrupulous care and needing to be regularly flushed
to avoid infection and blood clots (Lilleyman 2000).
It was evident that this device was a double bind for Jamie, almost an
umbilical cord, a lifeline providing essential healing fluids, yet a direct
line to a vein by his heart and possible source of infection allowing access
to toxic chemicals that ravaged his body and a visual daily reminder of the
physical consequences of his illness and its essential painful treatments.
However, once he finished describing the details of this device the
subject was closed. This was all he could deal with today and he pulled
down his football shirt firmly as if hiding all the evidence of his illness
away.
In the second session Jamie was recovering from a recent visit to
hospital because of a low platelet count. He sat quietly fingering the sand
in the tray for a few moments, then slowly moved over to the paints and
slime. As soon as he saw the new body-shaped container of runny red
slime, he tore it open. It oozed out quickly through his probing fingers
and flowed over hands, wrists and up his arms. As the slime advanced,
Jamie screeched sounds which conveyed horror, disgust, and anguish.
Yuck, its nasty, it wont get off me, yuck, its a bloody mess, he said while
stretching and pulling the slime. He wrung his hands together and the
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slime slithered and snaked its way over fingers and between palms. His
hands were quickly buried in its web of bright red wetness. He flexed his
fingers and circled his hands over and over each other for a long time,
almost lost in the sheer sensory pleasure of the slime, while continuing
his exclamations of disgust, though more softly now, almost to himself.
He then tried to shake it off, but with little enthusiasm. He sat quietly for
a few moments letting the slime drip onto his trainers and over the paint
board, then quickly gathered it up and stretched it back over his hands
again. He pulled a face of revulsion at having it back on his skin, yet it
was almost too scary to let it go.
He picked up the body-shaped container and said determinedly, Ill
get rid of this. Tugging and yanking the slime off his hands and trying to
squeeze it back into the container he shouted, Go away, youre horrible,
its horrible time and again as it flowed over the edges of the container
and back onto his fingers. He gave up then and looked at his slime
encased hands with the empty shell of the body-shaped container now
trapped between them and sinking in the mess. He turned towards me
holding out his hands as far as possible and asked me to help him get it
off. Together we struggled to pull and push the slime back into the
container where it belonged. This was Jamies construction of identity, a
visual narrative of his struggle to know his illness with its messy battles to
win in the war for remission.
The psychological impact of a blood disorder is immense for a child.
The aim of chemotherapy is to destroy progressively some of the bad
blood, allowing the good blood to establish itself and become dominant.
This is a complex issue for a child to grapple with; that their body can
simultaneously contain both good and bad blood (Eiser 1993, p.21). The
image of blood gushing, oozing and spilling out of bodies is frequently
portrayed as the shock horror factor in books, films and plays, whilst in
nursery rhymes and fables Jack feared the giant smelling the blood of an
Englishman and Dracula drinks the very fluid from the body that makes
the difference between life and death. Skin is stitched up, sewn together
to stop the body losing this vital fluid. In Orbach (1999), D.W. Winnicott
described the childs skin as a limiting membrane: the child experiences
an inside and an outside, a me and a not me. These are all facets that
add to a sense of frailty and entrapment. Through the vehicle of play
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therapy Jamie was able to show me his struggle to negotiate a meaning at

a stage of his treatment journey that was painful, confusing and very
scary.
Jamie still appeared pale and fragile when he arrived for the third
session and chose to use the clay, taking time to explore its texture and
suppleness before giving it shape. The end result showed a lifeless figure
lacking facial features (Figure 6.2). The leg fell off as soon as Jamie tried
to stand it on the board and the arm quickly followed. He made no
attempt to repair it and just nodded when, aiming to convey respect for
his experiences, I acknowledged how sad and broken the figure
appeared. The clay had offered a bridge between the sense of touch and
his inner thoughts and feelings. The broken body, too tired to be repaired
or maybe unable to recover at all, was a projection of his feelings about his
illness and altered body image. His perception of his body as broken was
Figure 6.2 Jamies clay figure
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a fundamental part of this. For children with cancer their developing

body image can be especially threatened by illness, pain, drugs, treatments and surgery. Physical changes produced by cancer treatments
include loss of hair, changes in weight, loss of strength and energy and
scarring to the body. The clay model showed visually his broken and
fragmented sense of self.
In the fourth session Jamie ran into the room, obviously feeling
stronger and anxious to start. He moved straight over to the bag of
monsters, soldiers and dinosaurs and found a plastic finger monster. He
buried it deeply saying, Go on monster, get buried. As he worked, I
asked if the monster had a name. No, its just a little ugly monster, Jamie
replied. I asked why he thought it was ugly. Because its got no hair and
its scared and ugly, he said loudly. A black knight on horseback also
came out of the bag and became a constant companion over the next nine
sessions, always leading the knights into battle and never getting killed.
Jamie always referred to it as the black knight, no name was ever given.
But it was the monster who lived in the sandtray for the duration of our
sessions together and became a symbol for Jamies progress on his
journey. It never moved from the sand despite visits from dinosaurs,
soldiers, horses, tanks and canons; with each object and character frequently fighting for space and making demarcation lines around their
territory. Battles ensued around him and still the monster claimed its
place in the tray, a permanent witness to the chaos of war.
As I was currently only seeing Jamie in my playroom I was able to
leave his play items just for him and this small figure generated a discussion at the end of each session as Jamie chose what position the monster
was to be left in while all other items were pulled out by him. Sometimes
it was buried as deeply as possible. Sometimes it lay half buried, described
as injured, but alive. Towards the last three sessions Jamie built a hill
with the sand and placed the monster on top, as if surveying the terrain
ahead with orders to be on guard this week.
The theme of defences and battles was emotionally important to
Jamie as he was living with this battle inside him every day. This was his
story in the sand. The monster, with no hair and ugly appearance
resembled the clay model Jamie had made the previous week. The
sandtray was used during every session from this time onwards, although
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towards the end only fleetingly. The sessions continued and Jamie frequently returned to the embodiment and projectile materials as he
grappled to create some order in the chaos of his illness. There were gaps
in the visits to the playroom due to colds, admissions to hospital for treatments, tests or potentially worrying infections.
During this period of uncertainty, one session was particularly
relevant. Jamie entered the room slowly and opened the bag of knights
and soldiers. He set the knights up in a fighting position in one half of the
sandtray, with the black knight leading the charge as in previous weeks.
However, this time there was no movement to set up the opponents. He
sat silently, fingers trailing in the empty half of the sandtray. Gently I
asked if the soldiers were going to fight a battle today. Yes was the reply,
but still he sat. After a long silence he altered the knights position
slightly, moving it closer to the troops, and sat back on his heels.
Well, it looks to me like they are fighting an invisible enemy, I said
eventually. He seemed pleased with this description. Smiling he said
softly, Yes, thats right, they are fighting an invisible enemy. He pronounced invisible enemy slowly and distinctly. Jamie moved away to
other tasks, then came back to look again at the sandtray. Suddenly he
swiped his hand over them, knocking them all down in the process. The
resulting image was scary, all the figures lay defeated as if the invisible
enemy had won (Figure 6.3). Have they been defeated? I asked.
Theyre just tired, he said. Jamie then buried the monster totally in the
sand.
This single image seemed to convey the nature of leukaemia a silent
and invisible enemy within. These metaphors construct the experience of
illness; recovery or deterioration is now framed as winning or losing the
fight in relation to the healing process. The treatment aims to kill the
cancer, so the child is exposed to the message that a deadly war is being
waged within his own body. Today, fragile and vulnerable from yet
another bout of unexpected infection, he appeared like a wounded
soldier, weakened, worn out by the fighting. He seemed to have lost a
minor battle, to have had a setback, but the war goes on. I guess they
need to retreat for a while, I said. Thats what all winning armies did,
took time to recover, gathered their strength and planned their next
strategy for battle.
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Figure 6.3 Jamies play in the sandtray
Did they really? Which army? Jamie asked cautiously. I confirmed that
they did and racked my memory for an example. I recounted the story of
the D-Day landings with its elements of defeat, rescue, recuperation and
eventual victory. Jamie listened and asked me to go over the bit about the
rescue by hundreds of fisherman with small crafts who dragged wounded
soldiers off the beaches (which I have to confess contained much poetic
licence). Smiling now, he lay on the cushions and chose a book for me to
read him before he went home. He then casually mentioned a hospital
appointment due to take place the following week.
Jamie was fearful of having invasive procedures, particularly this
bone marrow aspiration biopsy, a painful procedure performed under
conscious sedation when the child is anaesthetised at the site of the
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procedure and sedated to reduce anxiety, but sufficiently alert to respond

to the medical teams directions (Malchiodi 1999).
The very nature of this illness makes a child vulnerable to a sense of
loss of control. Bodily processes which were taken for granted are
suddenly in question as the administration of the treatment can seem to
overtake the very being of the child and feelings of helplessness prevail.
Anger and frustration are feelings that are frequently hard to express in a
safe way. However, in play therapy Jamie found a way to play out his deep
sense of anger at the repeated assaults on his body as he recovered from
the procedure conducted two days before our next session.
Going straight to the sensory box, containing many gruesome items
such as eyeballs, squeeze balls, sticky monsters and a variety of slime, he
chose the tub of pale green slime with a thicker consistency than the red
Figure 6.4 Jamie spears the slime with the bayonet
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one he had used before. He pulled and stretched it into long strips, then
folded it back up again and repeated the pattern for a while. Jamie then
asked me to pass him the box containing all the Action Man figures and
equipment which he had explored several times before. Jamie found the
small dagger and began stabbing the slime time and time again, cutting
and slicing into it as it hung limply from his hand. He changed the
weapon for a three-inch bayonet, now poking in the blade and twisting it
as he grunted with the effort of it all. He swung the slime around on the
end of the bayonet like a piece of meat on a hook. The slime hung powerlessly against the penetrating bayonet and the image was of a piece of
flesh being pierced, poked and prodded time and again (Figure 6.4).
Sourkes (1982) recalled how a child described feeling like a piece of
paper that everyone cuts into whenever he was hospitalised. This was
certainly the impression that Jamie had presented. He pulled the weapons
out then and dropped the slime, but continued the attacking motions as
he shadow-boxed around the room with a weapon in each hand. Jamie
was able to vent his feelings of anger and helplessness at the invasive
treatment, acting the part of aggressor instead of victim and gaining some
essence of metaphoric autonomy. These actions are facets of his struggle
to maintain a constant sense of self and not lose himself to the illness in
his now fragmented world.
At the next session Jamie appeared stronger and more agile. He
wanted to draw, but could not decide what to do. I cautiously suggested
he drew a picture of himself. Jamie appeared keen but simultaneously
reluctant to start. He said I should draw him instead. I suggested we both
could do some if I were to draw around him for a life-size body shape. It is
important to note that by making this suggestion I used a more focused
approach with Jamie than I have previously done. This change in my
approach was made after careful assessment of his progress so far and in
the knowledge that, at this stage in his therapy, Jamie was beginning to
show an innate strength and resilience in the face of his illness. I would
not have suggested this task at an earlier stage as Jamie may not have been
able to cope with the impact of a full body drawing. If Jamie had showed
the least bit of resistance, then it would have been essential not to
proceed.
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Jamie liked this suggestion and we found large sheets of paper to stick
together with tape so I could trace around him. He giggled as I did so and
was surprised at his size. He thought that he was fatter because the
steroids pills which he had to take for one week each month made him
feel bloated and hungry. He moved to the paints and chose red and blue
pots and two brushes. I fetched the water and sat beside him as he started
to paint the chest and arms with the bright red. He then painted the
bottom part with blue. The painting seemed to confuse him as he sat back
to examine it. Looking at the blank face, he suddenly said that a mask
would look good on the painting. I agreed and found a mask form in the
cupboard while Jamie chose the colours to paint it with, slowly lining
them up before starting.
Figure 6.5 Jamies full body picture
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The final result was a scary red and green face, with large black scars with
stitching effects across them. He placed it on the body picture carefully
and stood up to see the painted body in full (Figures 6.5 and 6.6).
Figure 6.6 Jamies decoration of the mask
This image provided a vivid example of the body under attack, an encapsulated reality, shocking in its starkness. To witness an image of such vulnerability and aloneness was almost too overwhelming. It felt appropriate
to capture and hold the moment as we sat silently together looking at
Jamies body shape on the floor. Jamie sighed and sat back, staring
intensely at his painting as if confronting and examining his illness from a
whole new position. Through his painting Jamie conveyed the
ever-present threat to his body with its tainted blood. In his struggle to
know his illness he had created a literal image of its presence in his body,
symbolically giving characteristic form and colour to the task. This
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metaphor is his story: what it is like to live with this illness, just under the
surface of his skin, but always there, inside his body all day and every day
with the aches and pains caused by it and its treatments etched on his face
mask.
I had my own struggle to clarify what I saw. Jamie had confined the
red paint to the inside of the bodys outline, keeping to the boundaries of
his skin, unlike the second session when the wet red slime seemed to
overwhelm him as it flowed out of control. This blood-redness was
contained and Jamie appeared to be confronting and challenging the
source of the enemy within as his eyes explored the painting intently. The
mask was scary, but the facial cuts were closed and stitched, albeit
hanging by a thread with still a way to go before being fully healed. It felt
safe to speak now as Jamie smiled as if with a sense of achievement in the
very task he had undertaken.
Wow, this body looks like it has been through an awful lot, I said.
Ya, he said, as he nodded slowly and wiped his hands together in a
gesture of completion.
Themes in Jamies play so far reflected his fears, experiences and
fragile sense of self. His choice of tactile materials such as paint, slime,
clay and sand had enabled him to create images held deep inside, when
talking about them was still too difficult and painful. This series of
images had marked a shift in his struggle to understand his illness and the
trauma it causes, achieving insight through his own interpretative efforts.
Now Jamie was ready to narrate his experiences and, speaking in a
soft, gentle and deeply moving way, he narrated his story of painful
treatment, frightening episodes of infection, continuing tests and anxious
hospital visits that endlessly weave a thread which casts an unremitting
shadow over normal life. He told me about how sick he felt during chemotherapy and how horrible it was losing his hair. The worse bit was
having needles pushed into him time and again. Even with the Hickman
line in position he had to have injections in his legs. He also feared going
to the hospital as he was never sure of what was going to happen to him
and he hated waiting for the results of the never-ending tests. It must be
so terrible for you, I said. Nodding gravely, he agreed.
We sat side by side as Jamie told me his story and looked at the body
on the floor which still appeared vulnerable and alone. But leukaemia is
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141
not an illness to fight alone and Jamie had shown strength and courage
by confronting the illness through his painting and in his narrative,
gaining a quality of resilience not in evidence before. Although still vulnerable, he had found ways of dealing with this vulnerability and thereby
reducing its negative impact. As a means of encouraging this resilience I
introduced the subject of football, which is a passion of Jamies. Whos
on your team here, Jamie, whos on your side in this battle?
Jamie caught the spirit of this metaphor.
Well, the doctors and nurses, he said. Then he went on to name
others and I suggested we list the people involved. When we had
exhausted the list of those who had been in his world since his diagnosis,
we moved on to list the medication and equipment and procedures used,
to the three hospitals involved, then the wider community including his
school, church and local community centre, currently fund raising in his
name to finance research for a cure for leukaemia. We explored his world
from the micro to the macro system and the list was extensive. To give this
task a more visual impact, I suggested we draw an eco-map. This
technique is used frequently for children in the care system to help clarify,
in pictorial form, people, places and moves that they have made (Fahlberg
1981). Jamies map provided a full and informative visual image of his
new world within the context of his ecological environment. We then
drew him in the centre, surrounded by all the resources fighting in his
team.
Jamie asked me to take a photo of his painted body for his folder and
sought reassurance that it would be safe in my cupboard until he took it
home. Malchiodi (1999), exploring the role of art with paediatric
patients, found that the resulting image becomes important, not only for
communication of feelings and experiences, but also as a visible and
external record of the self. I gave Jamie the camera to take the picture.
Then together we gently lifted the body off the floor and reverently
folded it in half to fit into my cupboard. We placed the mask on top, as if
putting it all to bed then Jamie quietly closed the door.
Illness happens in a life that already has a story (Frank 1995). This
story goes on, changed by the illness but also affecting how the illness
story is told. As mentioned previously, Jamies love of football played a
major part in his world. Known as the beautiful game or the peoples
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game, it was a passion encouraged and supported by his father and they
were both Arsenal supporters. This passion had emerged at our first
meeting and early on I confessed my own love for Arsenal and enjoyed
listening to Jamie discussing the results, players, manager and league
tables at every session.
In the next session Jamie arrived excited and eager to show me a pair
of football gloves given to him by none other than David Seaman, the
Arsenal and England goalkeeper, during a visit to the childrens ward at
the local hospital. (It was Bacon who said that adversity is not without
comforts and hopes.) I showed the envy and longing to touch them that
Jamie had hoped for as he laughingly put them on and jumped around
the room. He also brought an eight-inch plastic model of his team hero,
Dennis Bergkamp. We discussed the mid-week match results and I
suggested that as he knew so much about football he could write a story
about it. Jamie was reluctant because, having missed so much school, he
had anxieties about his literacy skills and didnt like writing or making up
stories.
Using the story stem technique, I suggested that I start off the story
and Jamie could continue it while I did the writing. Jamie agreed. I started
the story by introducing his football hero who has a back problem and
cant play in a vital cup semi-final. Jamie carried on with the next part,
then the next, and in fact completed the story. In Jamies story Dennis
Bergkamp had to undergo chemotherapy to recover, then went on to
score the winning goal in the last moment of a penalty shoot out at the FA
cup final at Wembley, becoming the hero of the day (Figure 6.7). It was a
story of success and ultimate achievement, of triumph over adversity.
Even the battleground was an important factor. The hallowed ground of
Wembley, famously described as a field of dreams with its ghosts of
heroes past and its promise of heroes made, set the scene for this dramatic
victory. The story had many parallels with Jamies own, but included a
magical ending, so far out of reach but one that held an essence of hope
and possibility for the future.
I read the story back to Jamie and we both got excited as we reached
the part when the goal was scored. Jamie decided to complete the story
with a drawing of the magic moment the goal went in. I then suggested
that we act out the goal-scoring part and Jamie fetched a gruesome red
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Figure 6.7 Jamies football story
plastic eyeball containing runny red fluid and placed it ready to kick as I
set up a makeshift goal of two cushions. Acting as commentator I set the
scene and Jamie charged forward, kicking the ball directly between the
goalposts. We cheered and shouted yes! as Jamie paraded around the
room. I now set the scene for the presentation of the cup. We visualised
Jamie leading his team up Wembleys legendary steps to collect the magnificent cup which proclaimed him the hero of the game and he held up
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his Bergkamp model high above his head with pride. I took a photo for
him to take home as he posed with confidence, then kicked the ball into
the goal again for good measure.
The final session coincided with the anniversary of Jamies diagnosis.
He arrived with a rolled up piece of paper which he presented to me with
pride. It was a computer printout of a calendar onto which a copy of the
football hero picture we had taken the previous week had been superimposed. Beside that days date had been drawn a small figure (Figure 6.8).
The figure looked ugly with sticky-out ears. I asked Jamie to tell me about
it and he said it was a drawing of him a year ago when he had lost his hair
Figure 6.8 Jamies calendar
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from the chemotherapy and his ears looked big. Again it was important
to acknowledge his feelings about that trauma without dismissing them
and I did so.
Jamie described the importance of the date to him. It represented a
whole year of living with this illness. I marvelled at his achievement and
congratulated him. Jamie was ready to put the trauma of this time into
words and told me the story of going into hospital and being diagnosed
a very dramatic event for him. I suggested that I wrote it down as it is
such an important story. Jamie was able to capture the drama of it all as
he spoke and I read it back to him to ensure it was an accurate account of
his narrative. I then drew attention to Jamies hero picture which was in
complete contrast to the sad figure which hed drawn on the calendar and
emphasised the progress Jamie had made this year.
An anniversary is a time of reflection and in this last session we
reflected on the journey we had made together, looking at his artwork,
paintings, photos, stories and discussing the content of his play. Jamie
then told me of a meeting with two of his favourite Arsenal footballers he
had had this week. Frequently, when surrounded by bad and sad things it
is important to find good bits that can be celebrated. As a means of giving
this difficult year a different focus and a way of finding some good bits in
the midst of his illness, I exaggerated my envy at these meetings and
suggested we write a list of the good and bad things that had happened
this year. Jamies top good bits were meeting his heroes and his four-day
trip to Lapland to see Santa for the Noel Edmonds TV Christmas
Special. I had been aware that this holiday had been a particularly
difficult time for Jamie as he had experienced frequent panic attacks and
even found it hard to watch himself on the television because of this association. Jamie was now able to talk positively of the holiday and I made
much of his TV star status.
As Jamie was about to go, with his body painting and folder held
tightly under his arm, he pulled the monster out of the sand and asked if
he could take it home. The answer was obviously yes. It had been a
worthy companion on his journey so far and they still had a way to go.
In this chapter I have detailed the way that Jamie reconstructed a
sense of self in his scary world. Jamies panic attacks have stopped and,
although still a little anxious, he is now able to accept the essential
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medical treatments. Together Jamie and I had co-constructed a place of

safety and healing in which to tell his story, to explore the emotional
stresses and fears engendered by his illness with its threat to every aspect
of his being. The stories are more than just stories, they are the vehicle
through which Jamie made sense of his illness, giving shape and meaning
to the ensuing chaos that had threatened to overwhelm him.
White and Epston (1990) state: In order to make sense of our lives
and to express ourselves, experience must be storied and it is this
storying that determines the meaning ascribed to experience. They
propose that it is not only the stories people have about their lives that
determine the meaning that they ascribe to their experiences, but these
stories also determine which aspects of lived experiences are selected for
the ascription of meaning. I had accompanied Jamie on part of his
journey, had borne witness to his struggle against leukaemia as he slowly
opened the scary part of his world. Jamie showed me his emotional and
physical battle scars as he continues his fights to win the war for
remission, even when feeling fatigued, scared and confused.
One of the difficult aspects of our work as therapists is to listen to the
narratives of children who have suffered. The self-reflective nature of play
therapy has led me to consider the stories and narratives that I have constructed in my own life. As I heard the stories of Jamies anxiety and fears
it touched on a part of my own story of childhood illness. This experience
formed my belief in the need to find ways of hearing the child, of giving
them a voice to story their experiences, and patterned my choice of career
in social work and play therapy. Throughout my work with Jamie I held
on to the fact that he was telling a story of living with a life-threatening
illness, not a story of dying from it. But the telling didnt always come
easily, and neither did the listening.
Sourkes (1995) states:
The therapist must be capable of witnessing and tolerating the
anguish of threatened separation and loss. To witness is not a passive
process. In working with the child facing the possibility of death,
the therapist must be able to enter the threat with the child,
accompany him through the steps, while knowing that this may be a
journey that they cannot complete together. (Sourkes 1995, p.109)
THE WOUNDED HERO
147
Jamies journey continues, still fraught with uncertainties. His illness had
wounded him in both body and voice. Jamie had struggled to know his
illness, to state its nature and thereby give it meaning and in so doing he
recovered his voice and became the storyteller. Frank (1995) states that it
is through their stories that the ill create empathic bonds between themselves and their listeners. These bonds expand as the stories are retold.
Those who listen then tell others and the circle of shared experience
widens. I hope this chapter goes some small way to widen that circle of
shared experience and allows me to acknowledge the bravery and
courage of all children fighting leukaemia, but especially of Jamie, my
wounded hero.
References

Publishers.
Council, T. (1999) Art therapy with paediatric cancer patients. In C.
Malchiodi (ed) Medical Art Therapy with Children. London: Jessica Kingsley
Publishers.
Eiser, C. and Twamley, S. (1999) Talking to children about health and illness.
In M. Murray and K. Chamberlain Qualitative Health Psychology. London:
Sage.
Eiser, C. (1993) Growing Up with a Chronic Disease. London: Jessica Kingsley
Publishers.
Fahlberg, V. (1981) Fitting the Pieces Together. London: BAAF.
Frank, A. (1995) The Wounded Storyteller, Body, Illness, and Ethics. London:
University of Chicago Press.
Koocher, G.P. and OMalley, J.E. (1981) The Damocles Syndrome. Psychosocial
Consequences of Surviving Childhood Cancer. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Lilleyman, J.S. (2000) Childhood Leukaemia: The Facts, 2nd edn. New York:
Oxford University.
Malchiodi, C. (ed) (1999) Medical Art Therapy with Children. London: Jessica
Sontag, S. (1996) Illness as Metaphor. In D. Judd Give Sorrow Words, 2nd edn.
London: Whurr.
Sourkes, B.M. (1982) The Deepening Shade: A Psychological Aspect of
Life-Threatening Illness. Pittsbough: University of Pittsburgh Press.
Sourkes, B.M. (1995) Armfuls of Time: The Psychological Experience of the Child with
a Life-threatening Illness. London: Routledge.
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Spinetta, J.J. and Deasy-Spinetta, P. (1981) Living with Childhood Cancer. St.
Louis, MO: Mosby.
Terr, L. (1990) Too Scared to Cry. New York: Basic Books.
Norton.
Winnicott, D.W. (1999) The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating
Environment. In A. Orbach Life, Psychotherapy and Death, The End of Our
Exploring. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Finding the Way Back Home

Childrens Stories of Family
Attachment
Sheila Hudd
Introduction
This chapter sets out to describe how play therapy was used in assessment
to explore the links between four families histories of attachment, their
style of parenting and their childs attachment and behaviour. This work
took place when I worked in a family centre where the underlying philosophy is to promote childrens welfare within their families. The family
centre offers a wide range of assessment and treatment services to include
programmes of individual or group work on parenting skills or family
therapy. The children may be offered direct work, for example, to help
promote social skills or self-esteem and, where appropriate, play therapy.
Children and their families are usually referred to the centre when a
child is experiencing difficulties and/or when parents are seeking
support in managing them. The first approach at the centre is to offer
advice on behavioural strategies, but these may not have proved sufficient
to resolve the childs difficulties. It is at this point that it becomes
necessary to shift the focus and look at the underlying situation, particularly the factors relating to the parents own backgrounds. It is often at
this stage that a request for an assessment of the child and family is made.
149
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At the centre an assessment is undertaken by a qualified social worker

who will work closely with all members of the family and any other
health and education professionals involved with them. Children are
cared for by trained staff and observations of the children and
parentchild interactions will be an important part of the overall assessment. Children will have several individual sessions with the social
worker, many of whom have additional therapeutic qualifications, for
example in play or family therapy.
When assessing families it is useful to gain some understanding of
both parents attachment history in an effort to identify any significant
separations or losses. Attachment histories may highlight episodes of
separation and/or loss that can range from periods where the main carer
has suffered from depression to the loss of a family pet. It will be
important to gain some understanding as to how the child in the family
has reacted to any kind of loss, as it is possible that the childs behaviour
may reflect anger, confusion, or lack of a grieving process. The space to
play with a child is a therapeutic process in itself, but in assessment it is
helpful to gain some understanding of a childs perception of their
attachments, both in terms of identifying any future areas of therapy with
the child and, similarly, any future work with their parents.
Attachment theory
Attachment theory and the research which supports it advocate that an
infants attachment to its mother (or other primary caregiver) builds an
internal working model of expectations and assumptions that will
influence subsequent relationships and will not be easily changed
(Bowlby 1973). Researchers from this perspective suggest that childrens
early attachment experiences have a dramatic effect on their day-to-day
behaviour, as well as on their social development in later life (e.g.
Bretherton and Waters 1985; Main 1991; Sroufe 1983). A number of
research studies have linked a disruption in attachment to a variety of
childhood disorders including attentional deficit and hyperactivity
disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder, borderline personality disorder and
a simple form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Fonagy and Steel
1997; Fonagy and Target 1998). There is also growing evidence of the
FINDING THE WAY BACK HOME: CHILDRENS STORIES OF FAMILY ATTACHMENT 151
link between security of attachment and the social development of

cognition (Meins 1997). Research also supports the view that when main
carers engage in interactions appropriate to the childs developmental
level and focus of interest, this reduces the childs cognitive and
emotional workload, freeing the childs cognitive resources for development and learning (McCune et al. 1994, p.163).
Children who are rated as securely attached (Type B) have been found
to have an internalised representation of a responsive, sensitive caregiver
(Ainsworth et al. 1978; Sroufe 1989). Children rated as having an
insecure attachment have been found to internalise their experiences in a
more negative way. For example, those rated as insecure-avoidant (Type
A) appear to expect rejection when in need of comfort and as adults go on
to show difficulty with expressing negative feelings (Kobak and Sceery
1988). Insecure-ambivalent children (Type C) tend to have expectations
for an unavailable, ineffective parent, resulting in a dependent helpless
relationship (Cummings and Cicchetti 1990). Some researchers argue
that whilst children rated as insecure-ambivalent are able to express their
negative feelings, rather than manage them they tend to be overwhelmed
by such feelings and become fearful, sad or angry (Oppenheim, Emde
and Warren 1997; Sroufe 1983).
Disorganised-disoriented attachment (Type D) has been noted in
children who have been frightened by their main carer and/or environment or experienced abuse. Children categorised as Type D are those
who demonstrate both approach and avoidance behaviours and other
signs of apprehension when in the presence of the main caregiver (Main
and Solomon 1990). Main and Hesse (1990) suggest that this pattern of
attachment may result when a caregiver alternates between nurturing and
threatening behaviours towards the child.
Researchers (e.g. Sroufe 1990) argue that early internal working
models of the self form alongside the representations of the attachment
figure. A securely attached child will have a representation of him- or
herself as someone who is acceptable and lovable, whereas the insecurely
attached child is likely to form a representation of him- or herself as
unlovable, corresponding to her experience of an unavailable main
caregiver (Bretherton and Waters 1985).
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Attachment and behaviour

In many cases children demonstrate a secure attachment to their main
carer towards the end of the first year. Once the child becomes mobile
and able to explore, other factors are introduced into the relationship.
Observations of parentchild interaction from this stage often reveal the
child to be confused and unhappy at the main carers anger and frustration with negotiating developmental stages of behaviour or their
emotional unavailability. Hyperactive, aggressive or withdrawn children
keep adults away. Others may show indiscriminate affection, appearing
pseudo-mature or over-competent.
Research being carried out in the field of antisocial behaviour
suggests a strong link between attachment and behaviour difficulties. Van
Ijzendoorn (1997) linked attachment problems with emerging aggression and antisocial behaviour in the child, particularly with regard to the
emergence of empathy, morality and social adaptation. Lyons-Ruth
(1996) found that aggressive and antisocial behaviour is associated with
non-responsive care giving to the infant, social adversity and
avoidant/disorganised patterns of attachment in the toddler years. Other
researchers have noted that disorganised patterns of attachment in
infancy are linked with controlling behaviour in the pre-schooler (Main,
Kaplan and Cassidy 1985). Conduct problems can be associated with
disturbed attachments and relationship problems, but not necessarily so.
However, Greenberg et al. (1991, 1993) found patterns of controlling
attachment in boys with oppositional and conduct type behaviour
problems.
It is evident that children can suffer from a variety of behavioural and
psychological reactions to stressful events. Poor parenting and poor
attachments can be equally stressful to infants and young children and
can contribute to emotional and behavioural disturbances in children
which may then go on to be diagnosed as a psychological or psychiatric
disorder.
Play therapy in family assessment

Play therapy using social construction ideas concerning the development
of mentalisation and cognitive and affective processing abilities in
children are useful to explore and understand more about how children
internalise their experiences and expectations. By exploring childrens
attachment representations and internal conflicts, early antecedents and
risk factors may be better understood. Children who have experienced
difficulties may be helped via play therapy to learn to recognise internal
cues of affect and to change strong negative feelings into socially
adaptive behaviour. Play therapists working within a social construction
framework are uniquely placed to offer appropriate preventative intervention to help alleviate a childs long-term distress. There are three
concepts used in play therapy for assessment:
representations of a childs external world
as a means of reintegrating attachment relationships
narrative play and stories.
Play therapy and representations of a childs external world

The social constructionist model of play therapy favours the view that
personality continues to develop through childhood during important
developmental stages and evolves throughout the life span, which may
necessitate change in order to be negotiated (Erikson 1963; Erikson,
Korfmacher and Egeland 1992). The social constructionist view of
development is threefold and comprises body identity, social and cultural
identity and psychological/emotional identity. These are all influenced
by social and cultural beliefs and mediated by thought in terms of images,
memories and inner language to include the stories we tell about
ourselves.
How do children represent their external world, especially the world
of relationships, internally? Theories such as Bowlbys developmental
psychology (Bowlby 1973) elaborate the concept of an operative
internal model. This includes internal mental representations and
memory structures. The way in which external experiences are perceived,
the emotions and memories they bring about and the individual
responses that they evoke all depend on the internal working model
(Zeanah and Barton 1989). One of the ways in which children represent
their external worlds and try to gain mastery over their experiences is
through the medium of play. The childs play in turn enables the therapist
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THE STORY SO FAR
to think about how children may internalise their experiences and to

assess modification for change and outcomes.
Play therapy as a means of reintegrating attachment relationships

A main function of play is to provide a space between thinking and reality
and to try and make sense of experiences. Play therapy enables children
with damaging social experiences to rework their feelings into more
healthy socialisation patterns (Cattanach, 1997). Crittenden (1992)
suggests that troubled children usually need an opportunity for play even
more than normal children because it is one of the essential interactions
with carers that they have usually missed out on. Play therapy can indeed
offer the child a chance to recreate a situation where s/he feels safe,
secure and accepted. S/he can rely on the therapist to respond promptly,
appropriately and predictably. Even a short intervention can help to
promote a childs expectations of security and provide a space to use play
to explore emotional problems and renegotiate the organisation of their
internal affective responses. By gaining understanding of the childs
attachment relationships in this way, the therapist can use the themes
which emerge to plan further areas of work with both the child and main
carers.
Narrative play and story stems

The underlying approach to narrative is the concept of a story as a form of
representation. These representations are stored not as fixed images but as
scripts that can be understood as active sequences of behaviour. People
can and do construct and convey meaning through narrative (see, for
example, White and Epston 1990). Current work in narrative therapy
regards stories as a means of gaining access to and facilitating change in
basic underlying scripts. These ideas are particularly helpful when
working with children who may have experienced a range of difficulties
in their lives. Play therapy within the safety of narrative can help to
challenge scripts and distorted beliefs and to assist with the generation of
a number of alternative storylines.
Assessment work is usually time limited and story stems are considered to be useful when you may have restricted time with a child or when
a child may be difficult to engage with. Story stems involve giving a child
the beginning of a story and inviting him or her to complete the story by
playing and/or dramatisation using a range of dolls or animal figures.
Story stems were used initially to explore childrens feelings and fantasies
(Moore and Ucko 1961). More recent researchers have found that giving
a child the beginning of a story to complete (narrative story stem techniques) is a good way of eliciting themes about their relationships and
conflicts (e.g. Buchsbaum and Emde 1990). This technique was built
upon and adapted to allow researchers to explore childrens moral development (Buchsbaum et al. 1992). The authors research found that
children as young as three years were able to produce narrative representations of emotional themes and were able to represent moral themes in
the areas of empathy, prosocial behaviour, adherence to rules, reciprocity
and aspects of family relationships (Buschaum et al. 1992, p.607).
Story stems used in this way have been found to provide an accurate
way of exploring internal representations of attachment alongside experiences of being parented (e.g. Hodges 1996; Hodges 1999). For
example, disorganised and insecure attachments often create expectations
of abandonment and/or rejection alongside low self-esteem and a sense
of isolation. However, whilst childrens story stems are viewed as a useful
tool in time-limited assessments, childrens own stories are thought to
reflect similar themes.
Subjects
Four families were selected at random from a sample of ten families
attending the centres advice and assessment programme. The children
were all in mainstream schools, although the schools had expressed
concern regarding the childs behaviour in relation to educational
progress and peer relationships. The childrens parents had also identified
problems with the childs behaviour at home. The childrens age, gender
and the concerns expressed about them are listed in Table 7.1.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Table 7.1: Childrens age, gender and behaviour

in home/school
Child
Age
Gender
Behaviour at
home
Behaviour in
school
Nicholas
5.2 years
Male
Defiant
Withdrawn
Angela
5.7 years
Female
Sad, miserable
Attention seeking
Paul
8.3 years
Male
Aggressive
Aggressive
Zo
8.8 years
Female
Aggressive
Aggressive
Parental interviews and observations

The parents semi-structured interview schedules were adapted from the
Adult Assessment Interview (see Holmes 1993) and were analysed by
identifying themes from their own history of attachment and relationships. The parental styles were found to fall into six categories: sensitive,
insensitive, neglectful, authoritarian, harsh, or a combination of several
styles. Direct observations were recorded of the children leaving and
rejoining their parents before and after their play sessions. Trained
childcare staff supervising the children when their parents attended their
own sessions also co-rated observations of parentchild interaction
during family play periods.
Table 7.2 gives a brief overview of common themes in the parents
experiences of childhood and their rated style of parenting.
Table 7.2 Themes of parent(s) history of

relationships/parenting
Family
Separation/
loss
Abuse
Problem
relationships
Parenting style
Yes
CSA, DV
Yes
Insensitive
Yes
CSA, DV
Yes
Neglectful
Yes
Physical, DV
Yes
A/H
No
Physical/emotional
Yes
A/H
Key:
CSA = child sexual abuse
N = neglectful
DV = domestic violence
I
A
H
= insensitive
= authoritarian
= harsh
Play therapy sessions with the children

Each child was offered six sessions of play therapy to complete story
stems, create their own stories and enact them if they wished. The childrens story stems and their own stories were written down as agreed
with the child. There was a period of free time/play allocated at the end
of each session to help ground the child in reality.
Analysis of story stems and stories

The method used to analyse the childrens stories is based on the hypotheses that the content of the story completion will be similar to an analysis
of direct observation of attachment behaviour in children, and that the
structure of the childs story can be studied to give information about
how the child is beginning to process his or her experience in their
internal representation of their relationships. The following case
examples give brief details of the four family histories, how play therapy
was used with the children and samples of the stories and artwork.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Case study 1
Family A: Nicholas
Nicholass parents described difficult relationships with their own
parents and both left home at the earliest opportunity. Nicholas
was not a planned child but the couple decided to marry and set up
home together. Mrs A had not given much thought to how she
would parent Nicholas as during her pregnancy she suffered
mental health problems which included psychotic thoughts about
her unborn child and self-harm. After Nicholass birth she recalled
that professionals were concerned that she was very quiet, tense
and showed no motivation. She did not know how to hold
Nicholas and constantly needed prompting to take care of him.
This changed gradually with considerable help from a range of
professionals. Mrs A feels she now shares a close relationship with
her son and spends a lot of quality time with him. However, she
still suffers from periods of depression and self-harm and been
hospitalised on several occasions. Nicolas is now 5 years old. His
parents expressed concern that Nicholas refuses to listen to them
and generally does as he wants. Teachers advised that Nicholas
presented as sad and withdrawn in school and had few social skills.
He often made growling noises when he wanted to be left alone.
During the first session it was notable that Nicholas did not directly
engage with me or make any direct eye contact. As I spoke to him about
why he was coming to see me and some of the rules we had agreed for
play, he explored the room and stared at some of the artwork, particularly
studying the sea world section of the room. He gave no indication as to
whether he had heard me or taken on board anything I had been saying
until I said that I thought he had understood me and if so to nod his head.
Nicholas gave a small nod and carried on observing the room. However,
if I asked whether he particularly liked something he ignored me and
moved on. I wondered whether he was communicating to me his
experience of early deprivation and, as he slowly joined me at the table
where I had laid out some farm animals, I began to talk about wondering
whether he would enjoy playing with the animals who sometimes
couldnt hear or understand people. Nicholas at that point smiled shyly
and stated that he loved wild animals. I found a large book for him and
together we looked at the wild animals. He agreed that he would like to
make up some stories about animals and to draw some of them together,
which we did.
Nicholass first story stem

The little pig goes for a walk and gets lost and doesnt know how to get
back. Show me what happens
Well, he ran and ran and ran
Until he realised he was all alone
No one came to look for him
He was all righthe killed animals for food
But he felt hungry a lotand a bit scared
But it was nice and peaceful
If anyone came near him he just growled rrrrrrr and they
went away.
Everyone just left him alone
He liked it on his own.
At night he used to hide in the bushes or climb a tree
where he felt safe and could look down on everyone
and could see what they were doing.
He was OK.
Nicholas chose not to extend the story to finding a family or friends and
expressed a wish to leave the story. However, despite expressing this wish
it was noted that he returned to play with the animals he had left behind,
making tentative steps to look for someone but then going back to
work. At the end of the session I asked if he wanted to put the little pig
with the rest of his family. Nicholas responded that he thought the pig
preferred it where he was and would like to stay there. He found a place
for him with the wild animals and we agreed to see what happened the
following week.
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THE STORY SO FAR
In a later session Nicholas was able to ask for my help to draw an

animal and when I too had difficulty we laughed and agreed we would
trace it from the book together. Nicholas insisted upon calling a large
stag a reindeer and this is Nicholass own story:
The Reindeer Alone on a Mountain
Once there was a Reindeer
And he lived on a mountain
It was good therequietlots of places to climb
He never got bored
Until one day he slipped down a really really steep bit
He fell and hurt his foot
Help, help, he cried
But no one heard him
He was actually all alone on the mountain
And then he was scaredreally really scared
He had been quite happy before then
But now he needed someone
Andno one came
He was all alone on the mountain.
Nicholas was adamant that the Reindeer did not have a family and that he
had always been alone. When asked what happened to the Reindeer in
the end, Nicholas replied, Oh, eventually he got up and stumbled
aroundhe was all right because he was used to it. Nicholas did not
wish to pursue exploring any other ending to this story. However, he did
like the idea of acting the story out and we agreed beforehand that if the
Reindeer was so hurt that he could not move, I would be allowed to enter
into the play just to help him [the reindeer] a bit while he has difficulty
walking. We agreed I would be an old mountain goat who would help
him back to his cave and make sure he was warm and to bring him food
and water until he got better. As we ended the play I talked generally
about people who can help when we need it. Nicholas thought for what
seemed a long time. Finally he gave a deep sigh and said it was difficult to
trust anyone, but maybe he would one day.
As Nicholas particularly enjoyed stories about monsters, I asked if he

would like a story to be read to him about a monster while he played, to
which he agreed. I selected The Flying Head (from Cattanach 1997,
p.199). Children particularly like this story as it illustrates the possibility
of someone being able to outwit a monster that everyone is frightened of.
Nicholas laughed at this story and asked for it to be read to him again the
following week.
As we left the playroom, Nicholas suddenly told me he was worried
about his mother and whether she would be at home or in hospital. We
talked through his worries with his father who reassured Nicholas that
his mother was well and waiting at home for him. As discussed and
agreed with Nicolass parents during our initial meetings, Nicolass father
was able to reassure Nicholas that he was brave to talk about his worries
and that it was good to do so.
The themes of Nicholass stories appeared to reflect his perceived
isolated position within his family. Although Nicholas had remained
with his mother at home for the most part, his history was such that there
were long periods where she was not emotionally or physically available
for him. His father was a busy professional who travelled a great deal and
often appeared agitated due to the demands of home and work. It was
clear that Nicholas was beginning to work through some of his feelings
of loneliness through his stories. He was beginning to ask for help from
me during play and to express his fears about his mothers health and
whereabouts.
Given Nicholass expression of concerns for his mothers health, I was
able to introduce some books relating to childrens fears around parental
illness. During the following sessions Nicholas enjoyed drawing as I read
to him. Occasionally he asked me to repeat a sentence and/or looked up
to see the pictures in the books. He later produced the following story:
The Scary Monster in Sea World
Once there lived a really really really scary monster who
lived under the sea
He lived in a dark, dark cave where no one could see him
It was very hot in there
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THE STORY SO FAR
Everyone else in Sea World was frightened to go in

BUTHE WASNT LONELY!
He had two very big eyes that went right around the side
of his head
So he could see everything
As he got older he grew more eyes
One eye could go to the top of the sea and see out
His teeth were so sharp and got bigger and bigger
He could eat ANYTHING
And he had a slimy tongue [rrrrrrrr]
That was sharp around the edges
One day some men tried to go into the cave
But they were weak menthey didnt even think to
bring a sword with them!
And the monster ate them all up
When they were inside they were sooooo frightened,
And they couldnt get out
They were so hot in thereso hot they burned
One of the men tried to speak to the monster
He wasnt strong but he WAS clever
But the monster would not listen to him
So they stayed in there forever
The monster really liked it in the cave
[Me: what about the others?]
I dont know about the others
But it must be really really scary dont you think?
We talked about how we feel when things get scary, sometimes when
mummies and daddies argue or do scary things. Nicholas nodded
seriously and said he wanted to draw a picture of a Sea World (Figure
7.1). He appeared to gain a lot of satisfaction from drawing and painting
this picture and stated several times how hot it was in the cave and how
scary it was, although it was clear he was enjoying talking in this way and
did not appear frightened.
Figure 7.1
Nicholas was once again happy to leave the story and did not want to find
an ending for it. As he worked on his drawing I suggested an end to the
story whereby the men inside the monster got together and planned their
escape. Nicholas did not comment on this ending and concentrated on
finishing his painting, adding more glitter and glue to emphasise the heat
in the cave. When he was satisfied with the picture I asked if he would like
me to read him the monster story that he so enjoyed. Nicholas nodded
silently and listened intently whilst playing with the slime. He seemed to
gain comfort from this activity and laughed aloud at the point in the story
when the flying head went screaming and screaming over the mountains,
streams and forests. We agreed it was good riddance to the monster.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Nicholas added that he would like to wrap his head in slime first and
proceeded to punch the slime with his fist, laughing as he spread it all
through his fingers. The monster theme continued throughout Nicholass stories and together we tried to work out plans to avoid or escape
them. Subtle changes were noted as follows:
The Monsters in Sea World
Once upon a time
There were some monsters who lived in the sea
One day they found an island and decided to live there
They were really scary monstersall big and slimy
They could do whatever they wantedeveryone was
scared of them
The people on the island were all scared and ran and hid
Come out! said the blue monsterIm hungry and want
to eat you
Go to the woods the people saidthere is food there
Off they went to the woods
But they fell down a big hole
Downdownaaaah they cried
And all the sand went on top of them [lots of burying]
The end
[Me: What happened to them do you think?]
WellI expect they[shrug]they couldnt get out.
Nicholass play terminated abruptly here, as childrens play often does.
He later returned to build a sandcastle on top of the mound of sand where
he had buried the monsters. In it he placed a king and queen who were
in charge and proceeded to place lots of soldiers around the castle for
protection against monsters. Lots of people tried to get past the soldiers
into the castle and it all ended in fighting and killing, although no one
got to the king and queen.
I wondered whether this story and play might be related to Nicholass
parents being helped to understand a childs need for parents to be in
control of them. Nicholas did not want to talk about his story or sand
world and instead expressed a wish to pour water on the sand. His play
then regressed to becoming quite messy with sand and water. He
indicated a wish to continue with messy play and the rest of the session
was spent fingerpainting an equally chaotic mess. His play became quite
frenetic when I advised that we had ten minutes left and he had to be
stopped from scooping the fingerpaint out with his hands and throwing
it onto the paper in true artistic form. It felt difficult trying to contain
him. At the end of the session Nicholas gave a deep sigh and said he felt
tired. It was clear he had worked through quite a lot of anger during this
session, but was perhaps there was an element of him saying goodbye to
the chaotic mess he was used to, as the king and queen remained in
control, thus allowing him to experience a stage of play he had missed
out on. I hoped so.
Nicholass last story stem involved a leopard from the wild animal
selection instead of the farm animals that were also available to him
alongside other family type dolls.
The Wild Leopard
Once there lived a leopard in the jungle. One day he went for a walk and
he got lostwhat happened next?
Once there lived a leopard in the jungle
He was all black and furry
You could stroke him nicely on a good day
He was a special leopard with magic powers
He was BIG
He was STRONG
He had great big magic horns that came out when he was
angry
He had great long teeth, dripping with blood
He had great long sharp CLAWS
He had special glitter on his legs and he sparkled
But underneath some of the glitter was splintersthey
hurt him a bit
But he could do anything he wanted to
[Me: What sort of things?]
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THE STORY SO FAR
He used to KILL animals

[Me: Why was that?]
Sometimes because he was angry but mostly because he
was hungry
All the other animals were frightened of him
Why do you kill the other animals, they said
The leopard just growled wrrrrrrr so they went away
BUT
There was one thing he was frightened ofDINOSAURS
He was frightened they could come and get him
One day they did come after him and he ran and ran and
ran
But then he fell down, Oh, oh, he cried what will
happen now?
A small boy found him and said, I will help youdo you
have any magic powers?
Yes, said the special magic leopard
And he made himself so small that the little boy carried
him into his bedroom
He kept him there where he was safe until he got better
Then he went back to the woods
He felt better and he made some friends
He was happy sometimes because he didnt feel SO angry
and he tried not to growl as much.
Nicholas later suddenly grabbed the leopard and replaced him with the
other animals, shyly looking at me and saying Its all right now hes not
so angry any more. (A drawing of Nicholass leopard is shown in Figure
7.2). It was noted that Nicholas enjoyed placing layers of materials for the
leopards fur. Underneath the red fur are layers of yellow, blue and green
felt material. Was this perhaps a way of Nicholas communicating his need
to cover up his past hurts or an attempt at trying to heal them and make
them better? The gentle and loving manner in which he tended to his
wild leopard suggested that this was a positive experience for him. Our
final session included free play when we pretended we were in a special
garden where we found safe places to hide from or confront monsters

and dangerous animals.
Figure 7.2
During this assessment it was considered that Nicholas had been able to
communicate how things were for him in his internal world through the
medium of story and play. Overall Nicholass stories represented his
parents as unavailable and ineffective and these findings relate to children
rated as having insecure-ambivalent attachments. Through the safety of
story his sense of isolation could be challenged in a secure and distanced
way that enabled him to begin to seek and accept help from others a
small beginning to a long journey.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Alongside this work, Nicholass play had helped identify particular

areas for his parents to work on. They had been helped to understand the
impact of their own attachments on their current relationships and
parental style and to understand their childs emotional and developmental needs within the parenting task. Nicholas was considered to have
made good use of his sessions and was offered therapy in his own right.
Case study 2
Family B: Angela
Angelas mother described a difficult early childhood where she
witnessed violence between her birth parents and experienced
abuse. Angelas mother later set up home with a younger man who
had no previous relationship ties. Her stepfather was described as a
kind but difficult man in that he was unable to express emotion
and liked a quiet life. She talked about feeling left out at home as
her mother devoted all her time to her new young husband.
Angelas mother has misused drugs and alcohol from the age of 14
years, Angelas father was also involved in drugs. Angela was
premature and placed in isolation for the first three months of her
life. The marriage was volatile and violent. Angela spent time with
various family members until she was 2 years old. She returned to
her mother full time when her father went to prison where he
remains to date. Angela is now 6 years old. The school expressed
their concerns that she has few friends and tends to gravitate
towards older children who continually reject her and make her
cry. Her attention span is poor and her behaviour in school is
described as attention seeking. Her mother describes a close relationship with Angela but complains that she is often reluctant to do
as she is told.
Angelas first story stem

Wellthe little pig walks along
He is very scared as he doesnt know what way to go
Then he meets a cow
Hello Mr Cow can you tell me the way back to my farm?
Nogo away said the cowI dont speak to pigsclear
off !
The little pig began to cry
Go and ask Mr Lamb said the Cowhe might help you
On the little pig went
Hello Mr Lambcan you tell me the way back to my
farm?
No I cant said Mr Lambfind someone elseyou get
on my nerves
The little pig began to cry again
Ohgo away before I hit youGo and find Mr
Doghe might know
Hello Mr Dogcan you tell me the way back to my
farm?
Yescome with me little pig
They walked along and the dog looked after the pig
He saved him from a FOX and a BEAR and a BIG BIRD
Who came swooping down
GET OFF said Mr Dog
GET OFF said the little pig and they fought and fought
until he went away
When they got back it was dark
The little pig tiptoed into the shedvery quietly shhhh
He didnt want to wake anyone because he thought he
might get told off
He was a BIT happy to be back
But he missed Mr Dog and the way he looked after him
And he thought he might do it all again some day.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Angelas story stem is also suggestive of an insecure attachment relationship. According to attachment theory insecurely attached avoidant
children expect rejection or low levels of concern and comforting
behaviours (Main et al. 1985). The insecurely attached child is also likely
to internalise an unlovable representation of self to correspond with
experience of an unavailable caregiver (Bretherton and Waters 1985). For
example, if a child is distressed, the expectation is that parents will
normally provide comfort. Children who learn that a need for comfort
evokes indifference or rejection may go on to ignore painful feelings and
to cope with distress in alternative ways. In extreme cases there is concern
that this may result in the child experiencing a lack of empathy for others.
Angelas stories often ended mid-way and were bizarre in content.
Some stories went back and forward in time and did not offer any resolution as a way of providing the possibility for reducing at least some
aspects of the tension created. This was thought to reflect her anxiety
suggested by the story or indeed what she might have been visualising as
a response. Angela had difficulty in understanding and acknowledging
the distress of the main character in her stories.
The prominent themes throughout Angelas stories were of aggression, rejection and a wish to be looked after. Her part stories identified a
main carer who was unable to hear her cries and distress and how these
feelings impacted on her sense of self. From this familys assessment it
was agreed that whilst Angelas mother underwent treatment and individual support in her own right, Angela would stay with alternative
carers. Angela was able to make good use of further play sessions to work
on the emotional issues identified in her play, self-esteem and social skills.
Case study 3
Family C: Paul
Pauls mother described a poor relationship with her own mother
and was placed in local authority care from the age of 8. She had
her first child when she was 16 years old with whom she continues
to have a poor relationship. Pauls mother has a history of broken
relationships with family and friends and has experienced harassment from neighbours wherever she has lived. Pauls mother later
had two children from another relationship and all three children
witnessed severe domestic violence. Pauls mother has suffered
from bouts of depression in the past and currently receives support
from a community psychiatric nurse.
Pauls mother advised that she did not know how to relate to
Paul as a young baby and described him as a child who always
cried and was weak, needing to learn from an early age that he
could not get his own way. She considered her main aim was to
toughen Paul up in order to help him survive. It appears that
Paul was fed, changed and cared for by whoever visited whilst his
mothers life revolved around her violent relationship with his
father. Paul spent two years in care from the age of 1 year when his
younger sister was born. Pauls mother described him as a difficult
but loving child and she feels that since she ended the relationship
with his father she makes some effort to return his affections.
Paul is now 8 years old. He is a quiet child who is performing
reasonably well at school but has suffered bullying from older
boys. He has recently been observed being verbally and physically
abusive to some girls in his class. Paul has told teachers that he constantly worries about his mother and her safety and never knows
what mood she will be in when he gets home from school. His
mother complains that he is continually aggressive towards his
younger sister.
Pauls first story stem

Wellthe little pig gets lost and does not know what to
do
He finds a chicken and asks him where he lives
But the chicken is also lost
They join up and walk to the river
And see a frog
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THE STORY SO FAR
The frog gives the pig a map

So the pig goes back to the woods
But they get chased by a fox
The fox catches the chicken and eats it
The pig manages to escape and can only find half the map
He looks and looks and when he finds the other half he
puts it together
And goes back to the farm
All the animals had been trying to find him
When they all saw him they cheered
And threw a party.
Common themes in childrens stories of being eaten up are often
associated with children who have been hurt or abused (Cattanach
1997). Avoidant patterns of attachment place the child near enough to
the parent to feel safe and far enough away to escape rejection and
punishment often meted out by parents who feel they cannot cope with
any more demands.
Pauls story stem reflects common themes of finding support but also
losing it. People cannot be relied upon. The fact that the little pig
manages to find his way home and is welcomed is positive. However, it is
suggestive of idealising a home situation and attention that Paul craves,
which is far from his reality.
Pauls Elephant in a Bad Mood
Once upon a time there were loads of animals living in
the jungle
The elephant was always in a bad mood
He stamped around and
All the other animals were scared
So they ran out of the jungle
Except for the King of the Jungle, the tiger
The tiger ordered the elephant to stop
But the elephant ignores him and stamps all the trees
down
And the tiger calls his friend and they both try to stop the
elephant but they cant
And the elephant goes on to kill all the wildlife and really
really hurts the tiger
So all the tigers friends go to get help from the humans
All the humans come with sleeping darts
And shoot the elephant to make him go to sleep
It takes the elephant a long time to go to sleep and he
goes on killing all the wildlife
Then there is this MASSIVE BANG
And the elephant finally goes to sleep
All the humans get a truck to put him on to take him to
the vets
All the animals come and ask the tiger why the elephant
was in such a bad mood
The tiger said he didnt know
So they all went to try and find out from the humans
And when the elephant came back he realised what
damage he had done to the jungle
He helped all the others to rebuild their homes
And says sorry
The elephant also helps the humans to plant new trees.
Although situations identified in Pauls story cause hurt and upset, Paul
has been able to use his cognitive understanding to try and make sense of
and handle his emotional distress. There is also his ability to use constructive behaviours including discussion, compromise and negotiation. Again
this is suggestive of having received some good early care. It is probable
that consistent care was available to him during his time with foster carers
from the age of 1 to 3 years. Paul was too young to understand why he
was placed in care and/or to have fully understood why he was rehabilitated home. We know that his mother tries to give him affection and
attention but is not always consistent in doing so because of her own
distress.
For children such as Angela and Paul, who have a history of either
witnessing or experiencing abuse, the most prevalent attachment style is
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THE STORY SO FAR
avoidant-resistant (Howe et al. 1999). With experience some abused and

traumatised children will learn that displays of distress and attachment
behaviour fail to bring comfort or protection and may also be the cause of
fear and danger.
The main themes throughout Pauls stories were confusion and anger
and they allowed him to communicate feelings he was unable to express
verbally. Paul was later helped to work through some of these early
feelings through story making in play and to explore more acceptable
ways of managing his anger. By being helped to understand the impact of
early relationships, Pauls mother was able to begin to focus on areas that
would help to rebuild relationships with all her children. It was hoped
that this work could then lead to Pauls mother accepting more specialist
in-depth work on her past and current adult relationships.
Case study 4
Family D: Zo
Zos mother, described her childhood as normal and happy.
Further exploration revealed that she felt her mother never liked
her and considered her elder siblings were jealous of her close relationship with her father. She recalled strict discipline, including
physical abuse and rejection from her mother. Zos father was
adopted into a large family from an early age. He recalled little of
his early life. Zos parents were involved in a physical relationship
whilst at school. Zo was born when they were both 16 years old.
Zos mother found it difficult to relate to Zo and perceived her to
be a demanding, spoilt baby. She acknowledged she was
resentful of the attention Zos father gave her as a baby and these
feelings persist to date. The couple relationship was soon in difficulty due to Zos fathers alcohol misuse. Zo lived with her
maternal grandparents on and off from the age of 6 months to 5
years but returned to live with her parents two years ago. Zos
behaviour was described as spiteful and manipulative by her
parents and teachers. She was not performing well in school and
other children refused to play with her. Her brother is 1 year old
and has special needs. Ms D expressed concern that Zos
behaviour makes her angry and rejecting of her and that she
favours her son.
Zos first story stem

Once there was a little pig who went for a walk and got
lost
He walked and walked and walked until he saw a castle
It was a big castle with water all around it
He went across the bridge
He felt a bit scaredwhos therewhos there (it was an
echo)
Suddenly a big net came down and lifted him up
AHA said the monster (a dinosaur)
I will put you in my pen and see what you do
I like BACON
And the pig was dumped in the pen
He started to cry and cry he didnt like the dark
Suddenly he heard a voice
Dont be afraid I will look after you
He saw an old pig in the corner
Come here I will keep you warm
And together we can KILL that dinosaur
The next day the dinosaur asked them what they wanted
to eat
Dont know, said the pig, not until I see whats in your
kitchen
The dinosaur said all right and took him to the kitchen
IN the kitchen was an elephant and a giraffe cooking
The pig didnt like what they were cooking and so said
he wanted to go back to the pen
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THE STORY SO FAR
On the way he pushed the dinosaur in the water and he

drowned
The pig went and got the old pig out of the pen
They made friends with the other animals
And decided to stay together in the castle.
[Me: What happened to the family he left behind?]
I dont knowthe pig didnt want to go back to his old
world
He was happy in the castle The End.
This story was thought to be a clear reflection of Zos home situation,
the conflicts she feels towards her parents and her wish to live with her
grandparents. The old pig could refer to her maternal grandparents or
the therapist. Zos story suggests she feels she has power and control
within her world. This is a common theme with abused children who are
confused by the power they are able to exert over adults and unhappy
when they are unable to use the same power to make friends with other
children.
Zos choice of an elephant and a giraffe to represent significant
others was consistent throughout her stories and was thought to
represent Zos parents in terms of their physical appearance. Zos
stories suggested her internal working model represented her parents as
unreliably available, insensitive and not to be trusted. She therefore
approached them with an attitude that presumes they will be denying and
unresponsive, but also suggests an approach which is demanding and
complaining. This approach is suggestive of a defence mechanism associated with ambivalent patterns of attachment. However, themes of aggression were in the majority of her stories. Some researchers suggest that
children may develop an aggressive response to experiences of fear and
helplessness, such as when a child is too young or unable to escape, as in
most forms of abuse (Pynoos and Eth 1985). Zos behaviour was
notably controlling both in her environment and in her stories, a pattern
of behaviour that tends to be associated with a disorganised attachment.
This type of attachment is often seen in boys with oppositional or
conduct type behaviour problems, especially in families in which there is
antisocial disorder (White et al. 1990). As we noted in the introduction,
children with disorganised and insecure attachment often create experiences of abandonment, rejection, low self-esteem and a sense of isolation.
For children with this type of attachment, it is particularly distressing for
them when other people threaten to withdraw their care and interest.
Zos parents had both experienced this style of parenting themselves
and acknowledged they used threats of abandonment and rejection in an
effort to control Zos behaviour.
Zos Story with Puppets
One day a boy was walking through the woods and he
saw a cave
He went inside and saw a ghost
And ran home
His mum and no one believed him
Until one day this little boy said I am going to the cave
Be careful, said the boys mum
What of ? said the boy
That little boy in the cave he is a menace
I will, said the boy and off he went
Aaaaah, he screamed and ran home to his mum and said
Mum, mum, I saw a ghost.
Dont be silly, she said,
I told you not to go in there.
So he took her there to see itbut no one was there
again
But of course there was really
BUT it was not a ghost but a sheet with holes in it
Because an old man had lived there
And that old man WAS ME!
THE BOY WHO COULD SEE THE GHOST!
When the boy and his mum had run away
The ghost said, I wish everyone was dead
And that wish came true
He found everyone WAS dead
But he did not say everyone except ME
178
THE STORY SO FAR
So we are still worrying whether he meant to want to live

or not!
Cattanach (1997) says that when things are too painful a child will often
change sex in a story. In this case Zo was aware that her younger
brother was the favoured child who could do no wrong in her mothers
eyes. This is a painful reality for Zo and it is possible that her stories
reflected her wish to be a boy so that her mother would like her more.
The themes from Zos stories enabled me to find stories with similar
themes and she was helped to understand that she was not alone in her
fear of her own powers of wishing people dead and the impact this may
have on her own immortality.
Zos Story with Slime
One day there was this boy and he was bored at home
So he went to the shops to buy some goo
It was all red
And the boy left it on the table and it grew overnight
He was worried that the wicked mother might give it to
someone else
Dont touch itplease, he said.
All right, have your own way, but I dont like it, said the
wicked mother
but the goo grew and grew so big that he built a house
out of it
but it killed him because he ate it and ate it until one day
it was all gone
and his mum said
MENthey are so silly sometimes.
The themes of this story again included Zos conflicts about gender and
highlighted fears of her power and needs. Zos parents and grandparents had mentioned that she was tending to crave food, possibly as a form
of comfort eating when things were difficult between her and her mother.
This may have been compounded by the fact that Zos brother had to
have a diet rich in calories due to his health problems. Zo had difficulty
on an emotional level understanding why the family allowed her brother

dessert when he had not eaten his meal and not her.
Zos stories enabled her to communicate her past and current experiences and fears. She had space to express her feelings of anger within the
safety of story. Her stories provided areas for future work with her parents
in an effort to reduce those anxieties and improve Zos situation within
the family home as a first step. Direct work on attachments by way of relationship play therapy with all members of the family also helped the
family to deal with their difficulties.
Conclusion
Attachment theory is essentially about how people relate to one another
and how those relationships are influenced by an overall need for a sense
of security. Maternal sensitivity and responsiveness to an infants signals
of feeding, play and distress during the first few months are predictive of
the quality of attachment at the end of the first year (see Nezworski,
Tollan and Belsky 1988). These researchers argue that a cycle is set up in
the early months, even if parents respond better as the child grows. This
suggests that babies who have experienced insensitive mothering may
refrain from negotiating their psychological needs with others as they
grow up because they have developed a negative model of self and do not
expect significant others, for example, parents, teachers or peers, to
respond and this can become self perpetuating.
Common themes in the parenting style of children with behaviour
problems include a history of poor prenatal care, limited early
parentchild patterns of interaction and a poor understanding of child
development. As children grow and become more independent, a lack of
understanding of a childs developmental stages and abilities can contribute to parents developing negative perceptions of their child which may
result in communications containing elements of blame, alongside harsh
and authoritarian methods of parenting. Many children reared in such
environments have been observed to exhibit difficult behaviour and
problems in social relationships from as early as 3 years.
Children who are raised by unloving, unresponsive or otherwise
emotionally neglectful parents appear to be at risk for psychological dis-
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THE STORY SO FAR
turbance in the short and intermediate term, perhaps especially in terms

of disturbed attachments and relationships with others. Such psychological neglect may have severe pervasive effects that, unless treated, may
persist across the life cycle. An association between attachment and
behaviour may become problematic when the quality of care changes in a
manner that is inconsistent with a childs developmental stages.
Therefore the quality of parental input is considered to be a main factor in
childrens future adaptation and resilience in general (Cattanach 1997,
p.121). Children who have experienced such difficulties need to be
parented in a consistent, predictable and non-punitive way.
In this study a considerable level of adverse life experiences in each
parents history was noted, even though this was a random selection of
families who were experiencing difficulties and requesting support. A
significant factor was that all parents had experienced some form of
childhood abuse and/or early separation loss. One parent who suffered
severe abuse in childhood experienced several psychiatric breakdowns as
an adult, whilst the other continued to receive a level of psychiatric
support. The common themes emerging were that all parents interviewed
considered adult relationship difficulties to be ongoing and had difficulty
in managing their childs behaviour. The childrens behaviour was noted
to be problematic in school to the extent that schools had expressed their
concern.
During assessment the use of story stems did enable children to communicate patterns of attachment that were associated with difficulties in
relationships and behaviour. The themes from the childrens own stories
also reflected issues of deprivation, early separation and loss, and some
themes of either witnessing or experiencing physical abuse that were
considered to be impacting on their overall emotional and behavioural
development.
The intergenerational linking of disorganised and insecure attachment in parents and their children is interesting and supports findings
commonly found in the clinical literature. A consistent finding is that separation is not the only factor that causes harmful effects. However, more
detailed studies are needed to look at the childs early relationship with
both parents, given patterns of attachment relationship with fathers are
found to be relatively independent from those with mothers in infancy

(Schaffer 1996).
There is a wealth of research that supports the view that early attachments affect self-representations and that negative views of the self are
more common among children with insecure, ambivalent or disorganised
attachment relationships. However, this study supports the view that as
children mature they are able to integrate multiple positive and negative
characteristics and dimensions (e.g. Russell and van den Broek 1998). It
follows therefore that by the time a child reaches the pre-conceptual stage
of cognitive thought (as defined by Piaget) there may be a different
pattern of association between attachment, behavioural adjustment and
the characterisation of self. These patterns will develop between the child
and his/her significant relationships by way of constantly constructing
and negotiating meanings.
The results of this study support the view that attachment styles are
not necessarily fixed across the lifespan, although there may be predisposing factors for later vulnerability in relationships. In accordance with
Piagets theory of object constancy, internal working models are not pictures or passive introjections of past experiences, but active constructions
and can therefore be reconstructed.
Children develop attachments not just to their main carers but to
siblings and those in the wider cultural network and with help can build
on existing attachments and go on to incorporate new ones. With appropriate support and intervention, children and their families can work
through their difficulties, gain understanding and move on. Play therapy
methods using story and metaphor provide a vehicle whereby children
may express emotions and ideas that they may find difficult to express in
any other way. They may help to alleviate withdrawal from a mental
world and to organise memories in a way which is easier to access,
retrieve and understand. Play therapy can help reframe a childs experiences and assist in the development of new internal working models. Play
therapy therefore is an invaluable intervention with children who are
experiencing difficulties.
Story stems are a useful assessment tool to gain some understanding
of the childs attachment history and identify areas of work needed to
support the child and his/her main carers. But there is no substitute for
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THE STORY SO FAR
once upon a time to enable children to use their imagination creatively

to work through attachment issues and related problems in play therapy.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank the children who took part in this study and the
parents who worked so hard to achieve change.
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135235.
The Narrow Road

to the Deep North
Tracking a Life
Ann Cattanach
During his lifetime (164494) the great Japanese haiku poet Basho
wrote of his travels as he journeyed through Japan. He called his journeys
The Narrow Road to the Deep North. He described life as a traveller in this
way:
Days and months are travellers of eternity.
So are the years that pass by.
Those who steer a boat across the sea, or drive a horse over the earth
till they succumb to the weight of years, spend every minute of their
lives travelling.
One of the great privileges for a therapist is to journey with a child travelling through fragments and moments of their childhood. There is much
to sort through when childhood has been complex and difficult. Perhaps
family have been lost and there are hurts to be resolved, but good times to
be remembered and the present and future to consider. The journey we
make is a search for identity, a struggle to find meaning for life events.
Often the child has made many physical journeys from one carer to
another so the idea of a life journey seems a familiar one.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Carla
Carla and I have journeyed together for ten years. Our meetings change in
form and frequency as she changes and grows with the years, but always
and at all times we have been travelling back and forth between past,
present and future. Carla struggles to construct, amend, then reconstruct
herself and piece together a life and a life story which she can own. She
uses me in this construction as a kind of sounding board for her ideas and
notions of her life and her identity. We can co-construct together in this
way because I am part of her story. We have weathered storms together
and have enjoyed peaceful sunny times.
Basho describes one of his travels as The Records of a Weather Exposed
Skeleton. He writes this haiku:
Determined to fall
A weather-exposed skeleton
I cannot help the sore wind
Blowing through my heart.
But all is not trial and tribulation in our journeys. Carla and I juggle with
sadness, laughter, anger, ridicule, pleasure and pride in achievements.
Although we are exposed to the weather of life, sometimes we put flesh
on the bones of our skeletons and laugh at the stories we can tell about
each other and the time we have shared.
It is within the frameworks of social constructionism that Carla and I
have boundaried the therapeutic relationship. Meanings shift as Carla
contemplates her past, present and future with someone who has
travelled alongside. She explores aspects of identity in the safety of the
therapeutic relationship, experimenting with ideas about herself and
ways she wants to live in the context of her experiences. In that way she
uses therapy as a formal place to tell her story so far.
Play therapy as social construction

Burr and Butt (2000) state that postmodern thought proposes that we
will never be able to penetrate the real with our imperfect perceptions
and constructions. But we are naturally sense-making beings who
interpret events and confer meanings upon things. They posit an
THE NARROW ROAD TO THE DEEP NORTH: TRACKING A LIFE
189
objective world that is revealed to us through our senses. There is a split

between this objective world and our subjective reality which mirrors the
objective world in consciousness.
The world we experience is between subject and object. What we experience is both made and found. So we are limited both by events in the
world and by our constructions of those events. We might describe this as
the lived world. The perceived world is not a more or less perfect replica
of objective reality: we produce constructions that serve our purposes and
help us in our projects. Read the construction of a foolish man. This is a
Sufi story.
The Foolish Man, the Wise Man and the Jug
[A foolish man may be the name given to an ordinary man who
constantly misinterprets what happens to him, what he does, or
what is brought about by others. He does this so convincingly that
for himself and his peers large areas of life and thought seem
logical and true.]
A foolish man was sent one day with a pitcher to a wise man, to
collect some wine.
On the way the foolish man, through his own heedlessness,
smashed the jar against a rock.
When he had arrived at the house of the wise man, he
presented him with the handle of the pitcher, and said: So-and-so
sent you this pitcher, but a horrible stone stole it from me.
Amused and wishing to test his coherence, the wise man asked:
Since the pitcher is stolen why do you offer me the handle?
I am not such a fool as people say, and therefore I have brought
the handle to prove my story.
This story describes the way we interpret events for our own purposes.
Some of these descriptions are not helpful in the way we present
ourselves to others and the way we perceive ourselves. Sometimes
distorted narratives can change whole communities read this Sufi story:
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THE STORY SO FAR
The Founding of Tradition

Once upon a time there was a town composed of two parallel
streets.
A dervish passed through one street into the other, and as he
reached the second one, the people there noticed that his eyes were
streaming with tears.
Someone has died in the other street, one cried and soon all
the children in the neighbourhood had taken up the cry.
What had really happened was that the dervish had been
peeling onions.
Within a short space of time the cry had reached the first street;
and the adults of both streets were so distressed and fearful (for
each community was related to each other) that they dared not
make complete enquiries as to the causes of the furore.
A wise man tried to reason with the people of both streets,
asking why they did not question each other.
Too confused to know what they meant some said: For all we
know there is a deadly plague in the other street.
This rumour too spread like wildfire until each streets
populace thought that the other was doomed.
When some measure of order was restored it was only enough
for the two communities to decide to emigrate to save themselves.
Thus it was that from different sides of the town, both streets
entirely evacuated their people.
Now centuries later the town is still deserted and not so far
away are two villages. Each village has its own tradition of how it
began as a settlement from a doomed town, through a fortunate
flight, in remote times, from a nameless evil.
So distorted narratives and lack of communication between people can
change the way whole communities live. In therapy with children we can
together evaluate the effectiveness of the narratives they bring to us and
decide together the impact of their stories on their sense of who they are
and how they function in their lived world.
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The concept of personhood

A social constructionalist stance describes the self as distributed amongst
people and not localised within an individual, it is fluid and constantly
changing. The following Arab story exemplifies this construction of the
individual:
Bring Me Four
One day Aklar said to Birbal, Bring me four individuals: one, a
modest person, two, a shameless person, three, a coward, four, a
heroic person.
Next day Birbal brought a woman and had her stand before
the emperor.
Akbar said, I asked for four people, and you have brought only
one. Where are the others?
Birbal said, Refuge of the world, this one woman has the
qualities of all four kinds of persons.
Akbar asked him, How so?
Birbal answered, When she stays in her in-laws house, out of
modesty she doesnt even open her mouth.
And when she sings obscene insult songs at a marriage, her
father and brothers and husband and in-laws all sit and listen but
she is not ashamed.
When she sits with her husband at night, she wont even go
alone into the storeroom and she says, Im afraid to go.
But then, if she takes a fancy to someone, she goes fearlessly to
meet her lover at midnight, in the dark, all alone, with no weapon,
and she is not at all afraid of robbers or evil spirits.
Hearing this Akbar said, You speak truly, and gave Birbal a
reward.
Carla and I use the therapeutic space to co-construct narratives and
stories together. Like Birbal in the story Bring Me Four, Carla stories her
life to make sense of a variety of worlds she inhabits. A constructionist
stance states that the way we make sense of the lived world is to story
our experiences. Gergen (1994) states that the terms and forms by which
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THE STORY SO FAR
we achieve understanding of the world and ourselves are social artefacts,

products of historically and culturally situated interchanges among
people. Words can only take on meaning within the context of ongoing
relationships. In An Invitation to Social Construction (1999) Gergen states
that meanings are born of co-ordinations among persons agreements,
negotiations, and affirmations. From this viewpoint relationships stand
prior to all that is intelligible. Nothing exists for us as an intelligible
world of objects and persons until there are relationships.
White and Epston (1990) make the assumption that individuals
experience problems when the narratives in which they are storying their
experience and/or in which they are having their experience storied by
others do not sufficiently represent their lived experience and that in
these circumstances there will be significant aspects of their lived experience that contradict these dominant narratives. The story of The Kings
Favourite shows how the meaning of events can be changed and individuals misrepresented:
The Kings Favourite
Long ago the beautiful woman, Mi Tzu-hsia, was admired by the
Lord of Wei.
Now according to the Lord of Wei anyone who rode in the
kings carriage without permission would be punished by amputation of the foot.
When Mi Tzu-hsias mother fell ill someone brought the news
to her in the middle of the night. She took the kings carriage and
went out, and the king praised her for it. Such devotion to your
mother, for your mothers sake you risked amputation.
Another day she was flirting with the Lord of Wei in the fruit
garden. She took a peach, which she found so sweet that instead of
finishing it she handed it to her Lord to taste.
How she loves me, said the Lord of Wei, forgetting her own
pleasure to share with me.
But when Mi Tzus beauty began to fade, the kings affection
began to cool. And when she offended the king he said, Didnt she
193
once take my carriage without permission? And didnt she once

give me a peach that she had chewed on?
In an article in The Sunday Times, Gill (2000) evaluates the appeal of The
Royle Family, a TV comedy programme. He describes how the
programme has dispensed with plot. He states that plot is not the same as
narrative and the programme has a clear narrative, which is a major part of
its appeal. He formulates the idea that real life doesnt have a plot, but it
does have a narrative. What we tell of our lives are our own haphazard
stories. The following stories belong to Carla and me and we have chosen
to share them with you, the reader.
Meeting Carla
Carla was born in London in 1984. Her mother is of white Irish and
German origin and her father is black, origin unknown. Carla and her
mother were involved with social services from Carlas birth and many
attempts were made for five years to help keep Carla with her mother.
During those five years Carla experienced much disruption, moving in
and out of foster care when her mother couldnt cope. Several times
during this period, Carla disclosed sexual abuse by one of her mothers
boyfriends and by an adolescent who was the son of one of her foster
carers, but little heed was paid to her complaints. By the time Carla was 8
years old she had been under the care of ten social workers and a flow
chart records 96 changes of life circumstances.
When she was 6, Carla was placed for adoption with Eunice Gibson
who also had an 11-year-old daughter called Mary. Within days of being
placed with Eunice, Carla disclosed the sexual abuse in her birth family
and in foster care. Her adoptive mother found these disclosures very
difficult to accept and was very angry with social services who had placed
Carla with her. Eunice worked with small babies and felt that she could
not cope with her work and a sexually abused daughter. She had
discussed this at length with social workers prior to the placement. She
accepted that a child might disclose sexual abuse once settled in a family,
but the social workers had assured her that there was no indication of this
in Carlas history. However, when Eunice later read her file there were
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THE STORY SO FAR
repeated records of disclosures, which were not investigated appropriately.

Eunice felt angry on behalf of Carla whose complaints had not been
heard and shocked at the lack of order in the record keeping of social
services. She felt daunted by the task of caring for Carla and how it might
impact on her ability to do the nursing work which she loved so much. It
was at this point that I first met Eunice and Carla.
Carlas story about herself at this time was that until she met Eunice
nobody had listened to her and the only way to be heard was to shout
loud and be angry. She wanted to tell about the hurt of the abuse and the
fears she experienced and to express her desire for vengeance. At the same
time she wanted to attach to Eunice and Mary and be part of their family,
but found it hard to know how to achieve this in the light of Eunices
distress. It was a never-ending circle. Therapy for Carla was not enough.
The family unit required respect and an apology from social services.
Racist attitudes had to be challenged and Carlas life history, contained in
numerous files, needed to be put in some sort of order so she would have a
greater understanding of her past.
I supported Eunice in her battles with social services to get some
acknowledgement of their lack of openness. Eunice does not suffer fools
gladly. She is sharp in her attention to detail and can toss off a great letter
and she got results. The director of social services upheld her complaint
and an external consultancy were brought in to create order out of Carlas
files and to make recommendations for long-term support. This was
financed by social services. It was at this time when Carlas files were
ordered that the chaos of her early years was truly recognised. But the
battles took their toll and Eunice felt that she could not trust social
services to keep their promises to support the family once she had
adopted Carla so the placement remained long-term foster care.
Carla has taken Eunices surname and is clear that Eunice is her
mother and Mary is her sister. She considers Eunices former husband to
be her father and both girls have an extended family within the
Afro-Caribbean community. They belong and feel to be family in that
cultural context. However, the fragility of the care system is evident in the
years I have known the family. Meetings are often cancelled at the last
minute, social workers and managers change and the fragmented nature
195
of life in care is very evident. It seems that the family history has to be
repeated for the benefit of each new member of staff and it can emphasise
the powerlessness of the individual child caught up in the care system. If
our identity develops by the stories we tell about ourselves, endlessly to
repeat negative stories about abuse and hurt means that this aspect of
identity becomes embedded rather than transformed. Some professional
workers seem to want constant disclosures and the child in care comes to
recognise the negotiable value of horror stories and uses those narratives to gain attention or rewards from professionals. So the child remains
a victim and the stories become trade. Carla wrote about this:
Change
I walk into a room
The moment in time has been captured
Everything thats private to me
Has been laid bare.
There is no cover for me
Nothing to hide under
Everything I know has been laid before
Let no person put asunder.
Do you know where I come from?
Or where Ive been?
Thats one mystery I have about me
Or has the answer already been seen?
Everyone is quick to wonder
Everyone is quick to stare
But why not deflect attention from me
And focus on someone who cares?
Think about yourself for once
In your life make a change
Theres things in this life cant be stopped
But once in motion can be changed.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Carla felt exposed at meetings with professionals as though she was the
only one with problems. Children in the care system feel shame and
humiliation from all the victimisation they experience and so they build a
wall around themselves. They want to be like the rest of their friends and
not thought of as odd or mad. Carla hated coming to a clinic to see me
because it set her apart from her friends, so I often saw her at her home.
When I retired from the clinic, Carla chose to continue to see me now and
then and to make the journey to my office at home.
Another difficulty of being looked after is the constant invasion of
professionals into the lives of children. This can make it difficult to attach
to the primary carer and the continued experience of loss is repeated as
social workers leave and foster carers change.
The interventions: ten years of stories

Beginnings stories of abuse
Initially the meetings with Carla and her foster mother were times of
stress and anger as Carlas childhood abuse emerged. It was important to
help everybody to think about Carlas circumstances in a calmer way so
that she didnt feel further abused by telling her story. Carla at 16 says
that sometimes she regrets telling this particular story when she was 6
and she wishes she had kept quiet. She is not sure why she feels that way
but thinks it might be that it colours her relationship with her foster
mother who she feels now worries excessively about her friends and relationships. It is a story which she feels contaminates trust between her
mother and her.
In play therapy when Carla was 6, she developed imaginative stories
which expressed some of the terrors she experienced as a result of her
early abuse. The stories shifted as Carla perceived herself as hero as well
as victim. I have written about Carla in earlier books, describing how she
emerged from the story of contamination in Childrens Stories in Play
Therapy (Cattanach 1998, pp.168177). Her early drawings showed a
child with the body of an adult but over time her perceptions changed.
She developed a hero who became a persecutor of all monsters. Her story
was called The Man-eating Guagwoga Meets the Giant Detector. She
also has a sense of humour, which emerges in her imaginative stories and
197
her evaluations of life events. She still perceives herself at times as the
Giant Detector, a heroic figure rooting out evil and punishing evildoers.
Later narratives
After Carla was satisfied that her stories of hurt had been heard, there
came a period of adjustment to her new circumstances with Eunice and
Mary. Over the next four years I still saw Carla about once a fortnight to
support her placement in her family. There were struggles with school,
choosing friends, negotiating with teachers. At times family life became
difficult and there were explosions of anger and jealousy normal family
life but often expressed through extremes of feeling. We explored gradations of feeling to consider the subtlety of relationships.
We still laugh wryly about the time Carla took 36 from Eunices
purse to buy tuna sandwiches for herself. She defined it as anger towards
her mother, mixed with a puritan streak. She took money to own a part of
her mother, but then had to spend it on healthy nourishment because she
felt guilty. I feel I would have bought chocolate as my nourishment but
Carla thinks healthy eating is better. Carla smiles at my weaknesses. We
began to think about the kind of healthy nourishment Carla wanted from
her mother. Eunice and Carla talked about this together. Eunice understood Carlas need but was still angry about the theft. Carla repaid the
money. There was constant testing of the relationship, both mother and
daughter feeling the pain involved in trusting one another. No narratives
are ever finished and Carla returned to themes from her past again and
again when she felt helpless and vulnerable.
Stories of vengeance
Throughout these years Carla still felt a strong desire for revenge about
her childhood abuse and the lack of nurture and support she had received
when in care and supposedly safe. She felt she was victim and avenger at
the same time. We shared stories and Carla showed me this story.
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THE STORY SO FAR
When the Dust Falls the Feathers will Settle

Tick tock tick tock. The ticking and the tocking of the clock reverberated off of the cheap whitewashed wall in front of her eyes. It
had been three months since they had put her in, locked her up,
and she had had a lot of time to think about what had happened.
How much of it she regretted, she was still unsure, but all she
knew, he had deserved every bit of it, every bit of the hell hed
endured the same hell shed tolerated at his hands for eighteen
years. Five hours was not enough, but she took comfort in the
knowledge that he had gone to hell. Her head became awash with
the painfully sharp memories of her childhood, the tears of sorrow
cried in her pillow every night, as she fantasised about the perfect
childhood that was not hers.
She cried now for all the lost years, the lost memories and lost
feelings that had gone along with her sanity. It was a long road that
she had travelled to get where she was, but was sure that she had
travelled it well. The memories of the hot heavy breathing, the
screams of pain and terror, came flooding back.
All of a sudden she was being suffocated, the walls of the room
closed in on her, leering at her, laughing a cruel laugh, that she was
infinitely not a part of. She was not a part of anything that mattered
any more, a transparent shadow on the wall of life, the shadow
easily blotted out by anything important. It was going to be like
that forever, and the tears of self-loathing and regret would not
stop it happening.
So she cried again, but she cried tears of blood, as she clawed at
her flesh trying to tear away the hatred, to release the feathers of
hurt. Eventually she calmed down and began to think.
There was that clock again, the same monotonous rhythm that
she had to listen to every night for the last three months. It was like
she was a friend with the clock, they had a conversation each day,
the clock ticking way with her thoughts.
199
She could really feel the loneliness now, a suffocating, smothering blanket that muffled her cries for company as the voices of
loneliness whispered come.
She curled up in the foetal position but, as she thought bitterly,
she had probably never been a foetus. She was too evil for that
foetal positions were for the nice children, not her. She wishes she
had a mum, a sister, anyone to be with her, but he took all that away
with one fell swoop of his hand.
He had been God over life and death; he decided who lived
and who died. She wished he had chosen her to die, but as she lay
there she doubted if she was even worthy of that.
Carla was 15 when she wrote the story. She enjoyed writing extremes in
her fiction. It wasnt her life, her experience, but she had at times felt
those extremes, being annihilated as a person, and then wanting
vengeance, which would only bring further victimisation. So the circle
went round and round.
Carla wrote the story as part of her school coursework. Her teacher
was impressed and empathic towards Carla. Eunice found it very
powerful and it helped her understand how low Carla sometimes felt
about herself. Their relationship deepened. I told Carla the story of The
Mother of the Sea Beasts a story of the Netsilik people of the Arctic
regions. It expresses the harshness which Carla felt about her own life
and how cruel acts could create a desire for revenge. In the same way as in
Carlas story, the hurt is endless and goes on forever. But the Mother of
the Sea Beasts also created seals out of her pain and hurt. So much is
paradox.
The Mother of the Sea Beasts
Once long ago, the people of Sherman Inlet left to find new
hunting places.
They made rafts to cross the water. There were a lot of them
and they were in a great hurry.
At the village there was a little orphan girl called Nuliajuk. She
jumped onto the raft with the other boys and girls, but no one
cared about her, so they threw her into the water.
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THE STORY SO FAR
She tried again and again to get hold of the edge of the raft, but
they cut her fingers off, and as she sank to the bottom of the sea the
stumps of her fingers became alive in the water and bobbed up
around the raft like seals. That was the beginning of seals.
But Nuliajuk sank to the bottom of the sea. She became a sea
spirit and the mother of the sea beasts because she created seals.
She became mistress of everything else alive, the land beasts
and every creature which mankind had to hunt.
She had great power over mankind, who had despised her and
thrown her into the sea. She was the most feared of spirits and
many taboos were directed towards Nuliajuk in the dark time
when the sun is low and it is cold and windy. That is the time when
life is most dangerous to live.
Nuliajuk lives in a house at the bottom of the sea. She lives like
a hermit, and often gets very angry. Then she punishes mankind.
She notices every little rule and when it is broken. She knows
everything. When people break a taboo she hides all the animals
and mankind begins to starve.
People then have to call on the elders to help them. One way is
for the shamans to shut her in a passage in a special house. They
block up the entrance from the passage to the room where the
people sit, with a block of ice and Nuliajuk tries to break out
through the ice to get to the room and the people. Everybody is
scared. It is only when she cant break the ice that she promises to
free the animals. Then the shamans let her go.
Nuliajuks own house under the sea is very scary. In the passage
is the ruler of the passage who keeps the records of the breaches of
taboos. He reports everything to Nuliajuk and tries to keep the
elders and shamans away. There is also a big black dog.
Nuliajuk lives with Isarraraitsoq, The One with no Wings, The
One with No Arms. Nobody knows anything about her.
They have the same husband, a little sea scorpion.
There is a child called Ungaq, The One who Screams, who
was stolen from her mother.
This is all we know of Nuliajuk.
She created seals but shed like to get rid of mankind.
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As Carla grew older she experienced some of Nuliajuks desire for strict
rules and vengeance for those who broke them. Carla found rejection
from friends intolerable as it reminded her of her early times. It became
unthinkable. Her vengeance was physical and she threw a strong punch.
But with time Carla has been able to tolerate the ebb and flow of
friendship and love without making extreme judgements or taking
extreme vengeance as she did in early adolescence.
She always wonders what she might do if she met any of the perpetrators. After her disclosures at the age of 8, the police tracked her birth
mothers boyfriend and interviewed him. There was insufficient evidence
to prosecute, but Carla had a discussion with the police officer involved,
which helped her because her complaint had been heard and acted upon
however late in the day. She wrote a poem to her adult perpetrator:
Johnny
Whats the difference between me and you?
Perhaps its that I got on and you didnt
Or maybe that you tried to bring me down to your level,
And I rose above it, a little balloon
Floating on a vile, rank air of deception and hatred.
Ill hand it to you,
I almost didnt rise above it,
There were many things that you did to me,
Many things that took away my innocence
and robbed me of childhood naivety.
But you didnt take away my mind.
The bright, crystal clear stream that runs through my
head.
You took my dignity but not my integrity.
And I did rise above it, I rose above you.
And Ill keep on rising as high as I can,
Until I can rise no more.
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THE STORY SO FAR
Stories about lost and loving mothers and unknown fathers

Like many looked after children, Carla has had to cope with complex
relationships and especially what it means to her to be cared for by a
mother. She is angry at her birth mother for not keeping her safe as a
child and for rejecting her because she was ashamed that Carla is black.
But there are other memories of a softness and vulnerability about her
birth mother.
Then there is Eunice who is also her mother: black, loving, strong, but
critical, demanding and also vulnerable. Eunice fears rejection with some
of the same anxiety as Carla, so Carla finds it difficult to express loving
feelings about her birth mother for fear of causing distress to Eunice.
When Carla was attaching to her foster family she expressed angry
feelings about her birth mother. It was a thin narrative about a
one-dimensional relationship. But as Carla entered adolescence she
began to think about her early life with her birth mother, Jane. Carla
wanted to understand what had happened to Jane and the family and why
Jane had put her into care. Carla decided that she wanted a meeting with
Jane and asked me to go with her. Janes social worker prepared Jane for
the meeting and explained that Carla had questions she wanted to ask.
Carla had prepared a long list of questions about her early years. The
meeting was tense. Jane tried to be honest as Carla went through her list
of questions. Jane said the meeting was much harder than she thought it
would be. It was clear to Carla how vulnerable Jane was so just meeting
her helped Carla understand how difficult it was for Jane to care for
children and keep them safe. Jane was able to say that when Carla was
little she was ashamed of her for being black. This sounded shocking but
it was a truth. Jane was not able to say much about Carlas father and the
circumstances of her conception because of this shame.
I took Carla home after the meeting and it gave us time for Carla to
think about what had been said. She was furious with Jane for admitting
her shame about Carla, but at the same time admiring her honesty a
double-edged sword that cut to the heart. The meeting was hard and
difficult and for a time Carla became very sad. Eunice had also found the
process difficult and worried about how it might affect their relationship.
Carla wrote this poem about her birth mother at this time:
203
Reciprocated Love
Did you love me?
I look down at my hands,
Inspect them,
And wonder if their achievements make you proud.
Everything I did,
What name I tried to make for myself,
Was pushed under a carpet,
A carpet that was patterned only of you.
Is that love?
I tried to look into your eyes,
Perhaps see beyond,
My veil of hurt and anger,
To find love.
Do I make you spit the blood,
That I have cried for you?
Does the hatred leave you upside down?
Like the hurt I feel.
I curl up like a foetus,
Hoping you might love me
As I have loved you.
At some time in the future Carla would like to meet her mother again, this
time to find out about herself as a small child. The questions are less an
interrogation, more a desire to reminisce. We look at the questions she
wants to ask and deconstruct them. We discover that she can throw them
out of the window and perhaps the conversation between mother and
daughter will just flow. Carla says this visit will be her last. We think
about why that should be. Carla decides to wait and see and not put such
boundaries around herself.
Woven into the narratives of mothers, with the one who is distant and
emotionally unavailable is the one who is there and a bit too emotionally
available: Eunice who worries, nags, makes sure you get to school, work
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THE STORY SO FAR
hard, be a credit, be proud to be black; the one who picks into your brain,
fears disaster and most of all fears being abandoned by her child. The
love is palpable. I told Carla the story of Mrs Darling organising her
children in Peter Pan (Barrie 1928). Mrs Darling heard about Peter Pan
when she was tidying up her childrens minds. She did this every night,
as is the custom of every good mother after her children are asleep.
Mothers rummage in the minds of their children and put things straight
for the next morning. They repack and put back in their proper places the
many articles that have wandered during the day. When you wake in the
morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed
have been folded up and put away in the bottom of your mind, and on the
top, well aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put
on.
We smile at the description. There is recognition. Carla understands
Eunice and knows she loves her, but she needs to grow and find her own
way. Are mothers really envious or just anxious as their daughters grow to
womanhood? The voice of Nuliajuk, the sea spirit in the story, rises to the
surface. Carla starts to be strict and critical. Mothers should be pure; they
shouldnt have feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and fear. We consider the
question whether mothers are human. Carla finds this hard to believe. I
say that Carla and Eunice have a strong and supportive love for each
other. Carla reluctantly agrees.
Fathers are different. Carla looks in the mirror and visibly sees the
blackness and beauty of her father and experiences the loss of his identity.
There are many stories of her conception. I say she is mysterious,
beautiful, conceived when her mother was happy, having fun at a party.
Isnt that a pleasant way to be conceived? Maybe, but the not knowing
and never being able to find out is hard to bear. So Carla feels she wasnt
conceived, never a loved foetus, not worthy, born to a mother who was
ashamed. We think about sexual desire, youth, fun and the consequences.
I tell her this Hillbilly story.
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Father and Mother Both Fast

Oh yes, well a young man stayed with a girl, and by and by he went
to his father and he said, Father, Im going to marry that girl. His
father says, John, let me tell you Ise fast when I was young, and
that girls your sister.
Well he felt bad and he left her. By and by he picked up another
girl and he stayed with her for a while and he went to his father and
he said, Father, Im going to marry that girl. Father said, John I
was fast when I was young and that girl is so your sister.
The young man felt very bad and one day as he was sitting by
the stove with his head hung down his mother said, Whats the
trouble John? No nothing.
She said, Theres something and I want to know what it is.
Why did you leave that girl the first one you stayed with and
then you left the second one?
Well, he said, father told me he was fast when he was young
and theys both my sisters.
Says she laughing, Johnny; I want to tell you something.
I was fast when I was young and your father aint your father at
all.
We laugh wryly. At least there is some universality about Carlas story, but
the pain and loss will always be there and visible in the beauty of her
body.
Still walking
Life changes for both Carla and myself. I, like Basho, took my narrow
road to the deep north and moved to the Highlands of Scotland. Carla
found this difficult. She thought of me as an immutable part of her
landscape. Ten years is a long journey. Will I like Scotland? It is cold
there? She fears the distance between us. I say she is a woman of the new
millennium. There is always e-mail, text, phone. She smiles. Soon Carla
will go to university. She looks forward to independence but wants the
safe home with Eunice to be there for her. These are exciting times. I tell
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THE STORY SO FAR
Carla a Scottish story. A new landscape for her to imagine and for me to
live.
Angus Og and the Birds
In the north of Scotland the daylight lingers long during the
months of summer. Sometimes it seems that sunset will last until
the coming of the next dawn, and there will be no night at all. But
there must be time for sleep and that comes when a great hush falls
upon the earth one hour before daybreak.
There is an old story, which tells of the time many hundreds of
years ago when there was no end to the day. Time for sleep was
hard to find, for always all the time birds would be restless on the
moors and in the woodlands, keeping their neighbours awake with
their endless singing.
Angus Og, the god of Spring, listened to the voices of the birds
and they displeased him. He could not banish the light, but he
decided he must put such a weariness on the birds that they would
be glad to rest. This is what he did.
He summoned all the birds from the moors, the mountains and
the glens, and when they were gathered around him on the green
mound, he asked which of them was the loudest singer. At that
there was a fierce argument because none could agree.
Very well, said Angus Og, from daybreak to-morrow all of
you will sing. I will sit on Ben Cruachan mountain and the voice I
hear singing above all others will tell me who is master.
But there were some birds like the wren, the owl and the little
brown martin whose nests were hidden in holes. How will we
know when the hour to sing is come? they asked.
The red rooster will tell you that, replied Angus Og smiling to
himself. Next morning, no sooner had the day begun than the red
rooster crowed from his perch as Angus Og had promised. First to
wake was the lark and he soared high up in the sky singing his
song. He woke the rooks in the trees, the thrushes, robins and
linnets, until all the birds had joined the great chorus of song that
ran through the forest and far into the mountain glens. Each little
207
bird, even the rook and jackdaw, made the best of what voice he
had.
All through that day Angus Og sat on Ben Cruachan listening.
He laughed for it happened as he predicted. All the birds sang to
beat their neighbour and not one of them could be heard alone. By
sundown all the birds were weary and hoarse from their singing.
Go to Angus Og, they told the pigeon, and let him tell us who is
master.
But Angus Og shook his head when the pigeon came with his
message. It is hard to say. Go back to the birds. Tell them they must
sing again to-morrow and every day when the dawn breaks, and I
will listen more closely until I have found the master.
That night, in spite of the long hours of twilight, the birds were
glad to rest. But as before the rooster summoned them at daybreak
and they tried again. Once more the pigeon went to Angus Og
with the message, but Angus Og sent him back with the same reply.
Nor did he ever decide who was master, for the singing of the birds
made them ready to sleep.
Angus Og still listens to the birds when they sing their dawn
chorus. If you doubt this, get up in springtime when the rooster
crows and you will hear it for yourself. And if you are lucky in the
evening you may even see the wood pigeon on his way to Ben
Cruachan with the question that Angus Og will never answer.
And a spell from the Highlands to keep us all safe. It seems to cover most
things:
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THE STORY SO FAR
The Red Stalk

Pluck will I the little red stalk of surety,
The lint the lovely Bride drew through her palm,
For success of health, for success of friendship,
For success of joyousness,
For overcoming of evil mind, for overcoming of evil eye,
For overcoming of bewitchment,
For overcoming of evil deed, for overcoming of evil
conduct,
For overcoming of malediction,
For overcoming of evil news, for overcoming of evil
words,
For success of blissfulness
For success of blissfulness.
References
Barrie, J.M. (1928) Peter Pan. London: Hodder & Stoughton.

Basho, M. (1966) Trans. Yuasa N. The Narrow Road to the Deep North. London:
Penguin.
Burr, V. and Butt, T. (2000) Psychological distress and postmodern thought.
In D. Fee (ed) Pathology and the Postmodern. London: Sage.
Publishers.
Gergen, K.J. (1994) Realities and Relationships Soundings in Social Construction.
London: Harvard University Press.
Gergen, K.J. (1999) An Invitation to Social Construction. London: Sage.
Gill, A.A. (2000) The Royles, Monarch of Our Time. The Sunday Times, 22
October.
Norton.
The Biography Laboratory

Co-creating in Community
Christine Novy
What I remember most from my years working as a drama and play
therapist with young people is the sheer enjoyment that comes from
playfully and artistically authoring stories. The stories themselves were
very often sad or angry or even terrifying, but the tellers delight as they
directed the narrative seemed to provide a welcome subplot to their life
experiences of helplessness outside our shared play space. In the act of
creation, the young persons perspective shifted from that of victim to
agent.
Adults, like children, can find themselves stuck in self-stories that are
unhelpful and limiting. These stories may accompany a social role or
diagnostic label. They may have been assigned by outside experts or
reflect popular sociopolitical discourses. The dominant stories do not
always sit comfortably with a persons real life experience or intentions.
Yet often these counter-experiences and intentions remain unstoried.
The re-authoring process for an adult may well involve remembering
and imagining lost, hidden or forgotten stories as they recollect the
events of their lives, and to remember what is forgotten or imagine what is
lost mostly calls for a playful relationship with reality (Jones 1996,
p.115). The description that follows will illustrate how a playful narrative
approach becomes an invitation for adults, as, in my experience, it was for
209
210
THE STORY SO FAR
children, to experience their own creativity, thereby reclaiming their

authority in the narration and shaping of their lives.
When I was 8 or 9 years old, my mother organised a family and friends
puppet production of Hansel and Gretel. Everyone was involved in some
way. My two brothers played the witch and the hunter. My best friend
played Gretel, I played Hansel and my sister accompanied us on the flute.
My mother is an artist. She had made the puppets herself with the utmost
attention to detail. I remember that the hunters moustache was made of
fur and Gretels hair of raffia. Each fabric for each costume was carefully
chosen and sewn, each face was beautifully painted. We had such fun
rehearsing, all of us tightly packed behind the puppet stage. I still
remember my lines to this day:
Gretel: Hansel, are you afraid?
Hansel: Afraid Gretel? Whyme? No, Im not afraid!
The lights were low. There was the occasional sound of an owl hooting
from backstage. My voice, as boylike as I could make it, tremored slightly
as I spoke those words. We performed the puppet play at our local village
hall to a packed and enthusiastic audience. This is my earliest memory of
community. Since then my experiences of community have always
centred around art, drama and creativity: shared activities that involve
making, building and creating things together. I have always valued the
skills that I learned in these settings: skills of friendship, of co-operation
and of working together. Sue Jennings writes:
Being in a play is one of the greatest social skills of all time because,
in the end, there has to be cooperation in order for the production to
happen, and there has to be awareness of the skills and necessity of
other people and their roles. (Jennings 1998, p.74)
Certainly, as a dramatherapist working with children, I have seen how

shared drama activities in a group can invite experiences of validation and
friendship. For some children this might be their first-ever experience of
feeling valuable. The opportunity to be part of something and integral to
its success helps children combat feelings of social isolation and worth-
THE BIOGRAPHY LABORATORY: CO-CREATING IN COMMUNITY
211
lessness. Through their experience of collaborative creation they are able

to construct a new identity.
When I arrived in Montreal to start a new job teaching
dramatherapy at Concordia University and a new life, I too was vulnerable to feelings of isolation. I knew that I had to find community in order
to survive. The first community I found was the narrative therapy
community in Evanston, Illinois. I had already been introduced to social
constructionist ideas by Ann Cattanach, who supervised my
dramatherapy practice in England. The ideas intrigued me enough to
make the trip from Montreal to Chicago every month during my first year
in Montreal. What I didnt anticipate at that time was the principal role
that community plays in narrative therapy practices. Their use of reflecting teams as an aid to story co-construction has effected a shift in their
work from private to social arenas. As Tom Andersen explains:
What was once a very individual process has become increasingly a
back-and-forth community process. A model of therapy that
upholds the therapists sole expertise can often be a very isolating
and individual experience. These ways of reflecting have moved us
more towards community ways of working. (Andersen 1999,
pp.89)
Dramatherapy has always been principally a group process. Its roots are
in theatre and drama. As Madeleine Anderson-Warren and Roger
Grainger explain in their inspirational book, Practical Approaches to
Dramatherapy. The Shield of Perseus, even if carried out one-to-one, drama is
capable of inventing other members of the cast who are able, although
invisible and inaudible, to take on roles as extra members of the group
(2000, p.20).
Both dramatherapy and narrative therapy share an understanding of
the integral roles that community and relationship play in the promotion
of health and well-being. Both have provided inspiration for the project
that I shall describe in this chapter. The Biography Laboratory project
was born out of a curiosity to explore and develop further the connections between these two, equally innovative, approaches to therapy.
Before I describe the project, I shall first introduce narrative therapy and
dramatherapy practices of co-construction and co-creation.
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THE STORY SO FAR
From narrative co-construction to dramatic co-creation

The narrative therapy world view rests on a belief that people are not
their problems (White and Epston 1990); that a problem story is just one
out of many possible narratives we might choose to represent our lives.
Narrative therapists believe instead that people are multi-storied and
that the stories we choose to tell about our lives profoundly influence
how we live. Michael White and David Epston, in Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends, propose that people seek therapy when the narratives in
which they are storying their experience, and/or in which they are
having their experience storied by others, do not sufficiently represent
their lived experience (1990, p.14). To help people re-story their experience in preferred ways, narrative therapists use conversation and written
documents.
When an individual or family arrives with a problem story, our
objective is to construct an alternative story, or counterplot, of that
persons or familys life. This will be a story that generates new relationships with problems and promotes preferred ways of living and relating
(Freedman and Combs 1996). These alternative stories are not necessarily waiting to be told. Very often they need to be constructed from
something discovered and frequently involve reclaiming vital aspects of
lived experience that lie neglected or forgotten outside the problematic
story (White and Epston 1990). To this end, narrative interviews are
composed of questions inviting a person to think outside the way they
might normally think. The questions and responses together
co-construct an alternative story. As such, they are a tool of collaboration (Schneider 1998, p.423). Amy, whose story I shall present,
described her experience in this way: As you were asking me questions, I
was choosing from the images in my imagination. Your questions helped
me decide where I needed to go, the next step in my story.
In the Biography Laboratory we are interested in alternative stories:
stories which may have been forgotten or dismissed; stories about which
we can feel proud because they tell of preferred ways of living and being
in the world; stories that give purpose and meaning to our lives. Our story
creation process is inspired by narrative therapy re-authoring practices.
Our intention, however, is to take the work in a rather different direction.
The Biography Laboratory projects long-term goal is to provide people
213
from marginalised social groups with the opportunity to dramatise

preferred stories of self within the framework of theatre art; literally
entering into stories, taking them over and making them their own
(White and Epston 1990, p.13).
One notable difference between dramatherapy and narrative therapy
is their choice of storytelling media. Whilst narrative therapy uses conversation and written documents to co-construct preferred outcomes,
dramatherapy uses drama and theatre processes to bring about change. A
dramatherapists trust in the creative process to transform experience and
open up new possibilities is similar to the narrative therapy belief that
people are multi-storied (Schneider 1998, pp.4267). Both reflect a
faith in people and their resourcefulness. Both promote a decentering of
the therapists role. Marina Jenkyns writes about her role as
dramatherapist: The journey is not for me to determine rather I provide
the means of transport(1996, p.60). Before I describe the means or
media of the Biography Laboratory, I will first briefly explain the
journey of dramatherapy.
In dramatherapy literature the metaphor of a journey is frequently
used to describe our work. We leave what is recognisable, our everyday
reality, and enter into dramatic reality. It is within dramatic reality that
alternatives are explored and new meanings discovered. As such,
dramatherapy offers a highly specialised form of structured creativity
which enables a process of transformation to take place (Jennings 1998,
p.75). Transformation lies at the heart of theatre and we borrow extensively from theatre art to facilitate a similar process in our work. The
means of transport then are those focused dramatic and theatre processes
which foster a creative response to life: the dramatic body, dramatic projection, play, role, symbol, metaphor and ritual (Jones 1996).
The Biography Laboratorys objective is to expand peoples storytelling options beyond words. To this end, we are exploring alternative
non-verbal and symbolic languages of gesture, image and prop. Our
intention is to experiment with various expressive forms and media,
testing for the inherent opportunities within each language to transform
our stories. Here members of the Biography Laboratory discuss some of
the possibilities of expression, feeling and association that have arisen out
of our work with movement and fabric:
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THE STORY SO FAR
Susan: There are so many possibilitiesthe fabric allows me to be

bigger and to flap my wings, it enhances, it hides, it becomes
a shelter, it protects.
Amy:
Its like the imagination is no longer locked away in your

head it flows through your whole body and out through
your hands. In your mind you can think I wish I was floating
on the wind right now, but when you have the scarfyou
are floating on the wind!
Susan: The imagination just seeps through all your bodyinto

your feet and your toes! And the movement connects everything.
In dramatherapy being creative means setting out to discover meaning in

things (Anderson-Warren and Grainger 2000, p.141). In the Biography
Laboratory project, being co-creative means setting out to discover
meaning together. We combine narrative therapys practices of
co-construction with dramatherapys focused application of symbolic
and dramatic media. We are playing. We are using imagination and our
bodies to create meaning. We are dramatising our stories in community.
From creation to performance

As I have already mentioned, community features prominently in
narrative therapy re-authoring practices. Narrative therapists, wherever
possible, identify and recruit communities of concern to participate as
audience to the preferred developments of peoples lives (White 1999,
p.55). The idea behind spreading the news (Freedman and Combs
1996) in this way is to support and strengthen a persons alternative story
by making it more widely available (White and Epston 1990). Freedman
and Combs alert us to the susceptibility of new stories being obscured by
problem-saturated stories:
How persistent problematic stories can be. People have usually been
living them for a long time. Often their local culture includes
attitudes and practices that support the problem-saturated story. It is
not at all unusual for an alternative story to fade between therapy
conversations. (Freedman and Combs 1996, p.195)
215
Their chapter Spreading the News (1996) offers suggestions on how to

keep these alternative stories alive: inviting an audience to therapy
meetings; teams; reflecting processes; circulating the story through tapes,
letters, documents and ceremonies, and leagues. Theatre is not
mentioned. Yet Freedman and Combs preface their chapter with a
quotation from Victor Turner that caught my attention: The hard-won
meanings should be said, painted, danced, dramatised, put into circulation (1996, p.37). The rhythmic call of Turner reads almost like an invocation and certainly an invitation to celebrate in community. His words
warmly resonate with my perception of the role that theatre might play in
spreading the news. Theatre offers an opportunity not simply to share
the news, but to artistically frame and dramatise it: to add colour and
image, movement and song; to present the news in three glorious dimensions; to make a spectacle of and truly celebrate our creativity and our
lives.
The Biography Laboratory project will make available the theatre art
skills, media and technical support that are necessary for the creation and
dramatic performance of alternative stories in community. One aspect of
our work will be to teach applicable skills for people to be able to engage
playfully and creatively with their lives. In this way we are also inviting
people to become artists reflecting on their lives. The Biography Laboratory projects title denotes a multi-storied perspective: this is a story
about me, a biography. It also signals an invitation for the storyteller to
step back from their life and view their experience with dramatic
distance; to create their preferred story with the vision and licence of a
dramatist.
Essentially the Biography Laboratory project is an invitation for
people who might not readily describe themselves as artists to try the
artists way in life (Cattanach 1992, p.10). My own experience in
community theatre projects and my observation of children participating
in dramatherapy groups has shown me just how validating it can be to
witness our own artistry: the choices we make as we devise, stage and
perform our stories. Phil Jones (1996) suggests this is due, in part, to a
transformation of identity: the artist in the client is foregrounded within
dramatherapy. The creation of dramatic products, the involvement in
dramatic process, can bring together a combination of thinking, feeling
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THE STORY SO FAR
and creativity (p.121). This has transformative potential in the way an

individual apprehends and responds to themselves and their world. I
have always marvelled at the way writers and painters are able to
transform their lives into art. It seems to me such an advantage to be able
to step back, through narrative or aesthetic distance, and playfully
engage with the sense and nonsense of it all, creating meaning, story line,
image and form out of chaos. I believe we can all benefit from trying the
artists way. My motivation in the Biography Laboratory project is to
share these skills of co-construction and co-creation with a larger public.
Eventually I intend to move the process out of the therapeutic milieu
altogether, but for now it is a work in progress.
The Biography Laboratory project: our work in progress

Our present goal in the Biography Laboratory is to explore story creation.
I am guided by a call from Gene Combs, one of my narrative therapy
trainers, to try to create the kind of space within which a person can feel
proud not just to tell, but to make a story. I shall now describe some of
the elements that contribute to this kind of space in the Biography Laboratory project.
We work in a group: six women of different ages, cultures and backgrounds. We are involved in action research together. Our focus is to
explore how dramatherapy and narrative therapy might usefully connect
to promote a legitimate space for the creation and performance of
preferred stories. The research project is collaborative in its design. Many
conversations and shared enactments have contributed to this work in
progress. We frequently sit in a circle, discussing our process and how we
experience it. We pool our different points of view. As such the project
reflects in its methodology some of the values it embraces. We are
co-researching, co-imagining, co-creating and co-constructing meaning
in community.
To further this active dialogue I make regular visits to Evanston
Family Therapy Center, Evanston, Illinois. EFTC is run by Jill Freedman
and Gene Combs, co-authors of Narrative Therapy. The Social Construction
of Preferred Realities (1996). The meetings are designed for a small group
of practising narrative therapists to explore and develop new projects and
217
practice. In this setting I present the Biography Laboratory project

descriptively or through video recordings to further the interdisciplinary
exchange.
What is so fascinating to me as I sift through the many tape and video
recordings of shared conversations in Montreal and Evanston evidence
of our efforts to reflect upon, identify and articulate this common
endeavour is just how multi-voiced this project has become. The
Biography Laboratory project is a co-creation that reflects openness,
transparency, multiple viewpoints and a decentering of my role
(Freedman and Combs 1996, p.284). As I write this chapter I am interweaving their voices with my own, attempting to capture the rich
layering of perspective and experience so generously shared in
community.
We meet fortnightly in the dramatherapy studio at Concordia University in down town Montreal. When our focus is story creation, we
work with a number of dramatic and narrative structures adapted to our
setting and designed to support the storyteller in the creation of their
story. Each week one team member will self-select to work on a story or
theme of their choice. The remaining team members become an audience
to her story as well as supportive and active participants in its co-creation.
We have named this group role the chorus. Certain guidelines are
followed by the chorus to ensure that the story is witnessed, acknowledged and enriched as the storyteller moves through the different stages
of story creation.
These guidelines are inspired, in part, by narrative therapys purposeful use of community groups as an aid to story co-construction. Michael
White has named this community approach the metaphor of definitional
ceremony (1995, 1997, 1999). The definitional ceremony opens with a
consultation between an individual or family and narrative therapist,
witnessed by a reflecting team. Following this conversation, the individual or family and reflecting team switch roles. The individual or family
assumes the audience position as the reflecting team engages each other
in conversation about what was heard and about their responses to what
was heard: In these retellings, the stories of the lives of the people who
are at the centre of the definitional ceremony are frequently linked to the
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THE STORY SO FAR
stories of the lives of others around shared themes, purposes, commitments and values (White 1999, p.63).
The individual or family then share their responses to this retelling
in further conversation with the narrative therapist. This back-and-forth
community process (Anderson 1999, pp.89) is designed to achieve
multilayered tellings and retellings of the stories of peoples lives. In this
way identity moves from being single-voiced to multi-voiced and stories
from being thinly to thickly or richly described (White 1997, p.4).
Many dramatherapists use a similar structure in their work. Audience
and enactment areas are clearly marked within the dramatherapy space
and this delineation of space and role enables the process of creation to
take place optimally and safely (Anderson-Warren and Grainger 2000;
Jennings 1998; Jones 1996). What distinguishes both approaches from
the theatre structures they resemble is the influential role played by
reflecting team or dramatherapy group members in the storytellers
unfolding narrative.
Like the chorus in ancient Greek theatre, the Biography Laboratory
chorus is both inside and outside the developing drama. They witness the
story, they mirror the story, they engage with and eventually join and
extend the story. They remain decentred yet influential (White 2000,
personal communication). The chorus structure and guidelines are
designed to promote practices of acknowledgement and validation in our
work. Everyones role in this shared process is valued and acknowledged.
We have been working with fabric and movement as an alternative to
verbal conversation in story creation. We begin our meetings with a
warm-up that is designed to offer participants an alternative language
which may encourage them to create and present their story in a different
way. It also serves, quite literally, to warm-up the body, voice and imagination in preparation for the drama. I introduce a number of structured
exercises designed to foster a playful and expressive relationship between
the participants and the fabric. During the warm-up the Biography Laboratory participants begin to engage with personal stories and memories.
We have a rich supply of fabrics and have discovered that the colours,
textures, sounds and smells all evoke strong memories. The transformation of thought, image and memory into dramatic reality begins even as
the participants survey their choice.
219
Following the warm-up a group member will select themselves for

the story-creation process. The remaining team members take their seats
as audience to her story. The storyteller chooses the fabric she intends to
work with and, as facilitator, I join her in the enactment space. Amy
shared this story on 13 February 2001. I shall begin with a simple
description. I am greatly helped by a video recording of our work that
day. Even so, I cannot hope to capture the full, rich impact of her exploration through body, motion, gesture and coloured fabric. As far as possible
I am using Amys own choice of words as I narrate her story.
Amy wraps several layers of fabric around her, one red, one khaki. I
invite her to show me rather than tell me where her story begins (Wharam
1992). She places a large piece of floral fabric on the studio floor, kneels
at its centre and wraps another, brightly coloured, embroidered square of
fabric over her head like a scarf, covering her face. My curiosity prompts
me to ask Where is she? Who is she? Amy tells me that she is in the
Appallacian Mountains in North Carolina. Its really early, the sun is just
coming up. Shes in a field surrounded by members of her family: her
grandmothers grandmother, her grandmothers child, her grandmothers mother, cousins.
She explains that there is movement in the scene. She carefully ties
the scarf under her chin, picks up the fabric used to represent the field and
pulls it with effort over her shoulder, stretching her body forwards. She
identifies this movement as holding on and shares that it stirs up feelings
of sadness in her. She mentions that the movement belongs to the women
in her story. I ask if there is a sound to accompany the movement. Amy
begins to sing as she moves: Swing low sweet chariot, mummas gonna
carry you home, swing low sweet chariot
Amys story opens with a scene from her imagination. The women
she represents go back three generations in time. She knows very little
about them. I am reminded of a quotation from Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends: Stories are full of gaps which persons must fill in order for the
story to be performed. These gaps recruit the lived experience and the
imagination of persons (White and Epston 1990, p.13). Together, Amy
and I embark on an imaginative reconstruction of experience (Anderson-Warren and Grainger 2000, p.54).
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THE STORY SO FAR
This is the setting for the story she would like to share. The story is
about Camouflage and Conspiracy and about not being seen or heard. I
sense the voice of Aloneness as Amy speaks about Camouflage. Yet I
wonder about the field of women. I am curious to explore Amys connection with these women. As she creates her story, as she purposefully steps
from behind the Camouflage to share with us, I ask how the women in
the field might respond.
Amy kneels on the flowered square of fabric and holds a piece of blue
lace to her cheek. She explains that her ancestors would cry, but in a
strong way, still holding on to their rage. She identifies this feeling as
familiar to her. It reminds her of her work with young people as a practising dramatherapist: I feel like when I sit and listen to a young person Im
working with and they speak about injustices and they share their anger
and their pain. I wonder if in her story Amys pain and anger are being
witnessed, in a similar way, by the past generations of women in her
family. Just now, she answers.
As I am collaborating with Amy it is helpful for me to focus on the
idea of story as progression (Anderson-Warren and Grainger 2000;
Gersie 1990). I retell the story back to Amy purposefully arranging the
images she presented into a storyline. The story opens with a lineage of
women from Amys family sitting in a field together; and what they all
share is the knowledge of holding on in sadness. Amys role in this story
is to uncover the rage, pain and sorrow that is hidden by so much camouflage. As she does this the women watch her and feel pride. I ask Amy to
show me an image of this pride. She stands in the field, holding a bundle
of voiles and lace knotted together in one hand, and motions with her
other arm. I ask what the movement signifies. She repeats it and adds,
Youre not alone. She explains that in the bundle the women are carrying
their sadness and their hope, their happiness and their rage and that the
bundle is now a part of them, its no longer a burden. Amy titles her story:
Amys Throwing the Doors Wide Open. Not Fearing to Feel.
Following the enactment the Biography Laboratory team members
move from their audience role to their chorus role to engage in a
movement reflecting team process using the fabric. I invite Amy to choose
an image from this re-enactment that holds meaning for her and to give it
a title. Amy chooses the title Connectedness.
221
I interviewed Amy, as part of the research process, on two different

occasions following her enactment. During these interviews Amy spoke
about her experience of story co-creation. She described the flood of
images that pressed for her attention at the beginning of her enactment:
Im not a visual artist, so I was surprised how visually things were coming
to me. I had to decide which images to choose, what perspective I was
going to take. It was just too difficult to put into words. I couldnt find the
right words, but I could see it and so physicalise it.
Amy chose to create and communicate her story through the
metaphor of movement. Her story in fact evolved as a succession of
movement images:
I really like the idea of staying in the metaphor of the movement. I
loved when you asked about what I was doing physically. Im
curious about that bundle or As you were moving I noticed you
did this Because it felt like you were really seeing me. You were
even seeing the things that I wasnt seeing. These movements held
no meaning for me until you brought them to my attention.
During the warm-up, enactment and chorus sequences I will frequently

invite participants to choose a movement image or sculpt from their
movement with fabric exploration and to name it. Madeleine Anderson-Warren and Roger Grainger identify the first step in this process as a
first step towards creating meaning: Sculpts are never used in a static way
but always as part of a process, as unspoken words in sentences where
final meaning has not yet been fixed (2000, p.84). It is as if the
movement offers a root metaphor signalling the bodys intentionality as
a striving for meaning (Srivasta and Barret 1988, p.47). Amy moved her
arm as she stood in a field, representing her ancestors and feeling pride.
Her gesture moved the story along. The next step towards creating
meaning is to ask her to name the movement image or sculpt she has
chosen. In this way, the body and mind engage together in discovery
(Jones 1996, p.113).
In the Biography Laboratory naming serves two purposes. It begins
to shape the story, clarifying and concretising something that can seem
quite chaotic, and it enables myself and the other participants to follow.
This is especially important when the story is non-verbal. Gesture and
symbol invite multifold interpretations. Naming guarantees the story-
222
THE STORY SO FAR
tellers place, centre stage, in their unfolding story and, in this way,
ensures that they remain the primary interpreter(s) of their own experience (Freedman and Combs 1996, p.45).
Amy and I also discussed the direction that her story took and the role
that the movement, her imagination and my collaboration played in
shifting it from a problem story to an alternative story; how in fact the
prepared story that Amy had intended to tell about Camouflage turned
about to become a story she was creating about Connectedness: In the
beginning of the process I felt I was alone and carrying lots of camouflage, my own and for all these women and I didnt know how to take the
camouflage off and make the connection. I wanted to, but I felt stuck.
Amy explained that her thinking was shut down to a certain extent and
that her kinesthetic and sensory experience assisted her to imagine
outside the way she might normally think. As she physically encountered
her desire for connection through the enactment, she was able to forge a
creative response to her story (Anderson-Warren and Grainger 2000,
p.53). Phil Jones describes the dramatic body as a place where imagination and reality meet (1996, p.150). This facilitated another meeting
between Amys ancestors and herself.
Questions are informed by particular ways of thinking (Morgan
1999, p.203) and my curiosity was prompting me to search with Amy for
this alternative story. We didnt go the route of the Camouflage, the route
of the problem. I asked Amy what happened to the camouflage along the
route that we chose: It just sort of disintegrated. It became the new story,
this story, Amy Throws the Doors Wide Open. Not Fearing to Feel, is the story
of the disintegration of the camouflage. In other words, the problem
story got smaller as the alternative story got bigger. The idea of
Aloneness, of not being seen or understood, shrank as it made way for the
idea that these women were connected to Amy and witnessing her story.
In Amys own words:
The second story was about my imagination and my connections
with these women In the story I felt they were witnessing me as
me, and accepting my story. They were accepting my story of camouflage and pain, and in accepting that story, it changed, became a
different story. It was no longer about camouflage it was about them
and about my no longer being isolated.
223
Remembering
The Biography Laboratory project has engaged us in a process of remembering. Weve remembered how we used to play with fabric as children,
making tents and forts out of blankets, sheets and clothes pegs. Weve
remembered our grandmothers: the quilts they made for us and how they
taught us to crochet and to sew. Weve remembered dressing up. Weve
remembered the clothes we wore as children. Weve remembered
jumping on the bed. Weve remembered playing and laughing with
siblings and with neighbours. As one participant explained, the work we
share has connected me to memories of things I had forgotten
aboutand those memories are enriching the relationships I have now as
an adult.
It is my impression that a lot of womens experience lies hidden and
unstoried. It is no surprise to me that Amys first story was about Camouflage, which disconnects. Remembering, in our experience, reconnects us
with our past and with others. The Biography Laboratory is taking a
stand against some of the discourses that silence these alternative stories;
discourses that powerfully shape a persons choices about what life
events can be storied and how they can be storied (Freedman and Combs
1996, p.43).
In our second interview I asked Amy about the Camouflage and the
various disconnections in her story. In speaking about the Camouflage,
Amy told the story of her early adolescence. She described the social
pressures on young girls at that time to hide early experiences of
sexuality, even if these involved transgressions against them:
Well its definitely a message about women and womens bodies that
pervades in our society. The classic if youre wearing a short skirt
youre asking for it, if you get into a car with an older boy youre
asking for it. The girl is being precocious, the girl is being a slut or a
whore, as opposed to the boy being manly. It was always the girls
fault.
Amy explained that she learned early on to cover up what happened to

her as a young girl. She did not think she would be believed so she began
to hide her past and her history: who she was, where she came from and
224
THE STORY SO FAR
what she had experienced: The camouflage was primarily my perceived

inability to show the world the real me.
I also wondered about the women in her story from generations past
and how it came about that so few of their stories had been passed on.
Amy thought for a bit and suggested that in the USA there was a general
feeling of: Weve arrived here from elsewhere to make a better life and to
provide for future generations to come, why look back. She explained
that as a child shed made up these women in her head, based on the few
images she had. In her story she had connected with their movement and
their carrying things and the movement of pulling something over my
shoulder When I was experiencing that it was very representative of
the Trail of Tears which is the trail that went from North Carolina to the
Indian reservations in south western United States.
These women were the original pioneers. They were on the field, they
were living off the land. Amy was looking for an audience who would be
sensitive to her own pioneering qualities and her determination to show
who she really was to the world. She was looking for role models to help
her understand her own choices in life. She chose to look back and in
doing so was able to experience a commonality with these women who
had survived displacement and war. She felt a connection with their
ability to adjust and survive. I am reminded of a quotation from Dorothy
Allisons Two or Three Things I Know for Sure; Allison grew up in South
Carolina: Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is just this
if we cannot name our own we are cut off at the root, our hold on our
lives as fragile as seed in a wind (1996, p.12).
Amy explained the effect of telling this story on her current life was
to feel richer as a person. It also solidified her resolve not to let her
mothers or her grandmothers stories slide. She told me that her family
were working on her family tree. She explained that family trees are
traced through the patriarchal line of the family and that her contribution
was to attend to the matriarchal side of things:
I recently got my grandmothers old wooden recipe box and pulled
out recipes that were so old and crumbling, I dont even know how
they were still bound by the fibers of the paper, and I made photocopies of all of them and have passed them down to family members.
225
Those recipes didnt just come from her, but from her mother or her
cousin, from all of these different people.
I asked Amy about her great great grandchildren and wondered how they
might remember their great great grandma Amy, what qualities did she
think they would identify in her? She answered:
An Adventurer; a Stoic Pioneer; Alive.
The role of community in co-creation

Ive heard it said that if Michael White could rename narrative therapy he
would call it Connecting People Therapy. Certainly this has been my
experience in the Biography Laboratory project. The progression in
Amys story towards community mirrors a similar progression in many of
the tellings and retellings I have witnessed and been a part of. Stories
become multi-voiced as we remember. In fact, the word remembering
refers to a special type of recollection. Inspired by the work of Barbara
Myerhoff, White uses it to mean Re-membering in the sense of
reuniting with the members of our lives, our own prior selves, as well as
significant others who are part of the story (Myerhoff quoted in White
1999, p.66).
In narrative therapy and in the Biography Laboratory this
re-membering takes place in community. Amys ancestors became her
audience, as we too, the women in the Biography Laboratory, were
audience to her enactment, assisting in the telling and re-tellings of her
remembering. Concurrently this re-membering fosters community.
Over and again weve been struck by the similarities in our stories: shared
themes of family history, womanhood and the social discourses that
affect our lives, ourselves and our bodies.
What distinguishes the Biography Laboratory approach to story
creation from narrative therapy community practices is the extended
nature of our collaboration. In the Biography Laboratory, because we are
enacting rather than telling, there is an opportunity for the storyteller not
simply to remember, but to remember and relive (Anderson-Warren and
Grainger 2000, p.227). When the chorus joined Amy in her story, she
was able to re-enact with them the storys resolution. The team became
the women in Amys story. They embodied the expressions and gestures
226
THE STORY SO FAR
that Amy had imagined and performed. In this way Amy was able to
experience a dramatic re-membering of her ancestors in her life, and an
embodied acknowledgement by them of the story she had shared.
This ability to co-imagine with other people so that we create a
shared scenario is unique to dramatherapy. As Madelaine Anderson-Warren and Roger Grainger explain, co-creation in dramatherapy
introduces us to a way of knowing in which we experience life by participating in it, rather than just thinking about it (2000, p.224). In the
Biography Laboratory project our participation is twofold. The chorus
team has a dual role in the story-creation process. They become the actors
in the drama and they are collaborators in its creation.
Our search for similar models of co-creation has elicited childhood
memories of shared pretend play. The dual participatory role of complementary actors involved in mutual exploration is reminiscent of the way
children play together and make meaning through their play.
Marie-France shared this story of playing with friends during her
childhood:
As a child, in the summer, Id find all my summer friends and there
was this wood at the back of the house where no one was allowed to
go, and we were so sure that witches lived there, in the trees. It was
like this real big story. I remember how we loved to scare ourselves!
Wed come back from the beach at six or seven oclock when the sun
is starting to go down a little bit and the shadows start to elongate
Now that is co-creating something!
As child psychologist Judy Dunn (1988) explains, joint pretend play

requires an ability to co-operate and co-ordinate towards a common goal.
She recognises this ability, even in very young children of 2 and 3 years
old, to stem from the equal power relations that are implicit when
children interact with other children. As I prepared to write about the
Biography Laboratory project, I invited the team to share some of their
stories and ideas about shared creativity. We met in our usual space and
warmed up with the movement and fabric in our usual way. What
followed was a shared conversation during which we gleaned some of the
skills and circumstances that promote experiences of co-creation:
a willingness to share the creation of something
knowing that your contribution will be valued
an absence of judgement
flexibility and compromise
letting it grow, going with it.
227
Leigh spoke about her experience in this way:

I found when we were kids that there were bossy kids and kids that
wanted to control, and that thats part of it. Part of co-creating is
interaction and I think there were times when things just blended
well, and that was a good day! Sometimes we didnt know how to
play When it didnt work it was very painful. I remember Id take
my toys, its over, today its not working! and youd realise how
important it was: it wasnt about playing, it was about playing with
that person.
We have found in our work together that a large part of our enjoyment
comes from the connectedness we experience as we co-create meaning
together. Connecting with each other helps us to connect with ourselves.
As memories spark other memories, so playful interaction extends the
dramatisation of our stories. In the acting community the golden rule of
improvisation is to say yes to the ideas of our co-actors. In this way,
scenes, stories and entire worlds come into being. One Biography Laboratory member explained it this way: In play the power is playful, its not
a control thing. Powers exchanged.
As adults, the value we place on competition has made it difficult for
us to collaborate in joint activities (Wheelan 1994), or be willing to share
in the creation of something as equal partners. These skills acquired in
community are easily passed over in a culture that prioritises individual
achievement, professional expertise and hierarchy. As Susan Wheelan
explains:
Common sayings such as I am the captain of my own ship, and Do
your own thing attest to our favoring the individual over the group
or society. While there are many positive outcomes from such a
world view, including the protection of individual rights, this
228
THE STORY SO FAR
emphasis also makes it difficult for us to see our interconnectedness.

(Wheelan 1994, p.42)
My involvement with the Biography Laboratory project has reconnected

me with values that I hold dear. It has inspired me to remember other
occasions when co-creation in community played a part in my life,
memories that help connect me to a preferred story and a preferred self;
from the time when I was 8 years old and my mother organised a joint
family and friends puppet production of Hansel and Gretel, to the various
community theatre projects I have been a part of. These have been the
happiest and richest times of my life. The Biography Laboratory project is
another such venture, contributing to the alternative story line of my life.
As we share our stories and reflections in co-research, we are contributing
to the ideas that are helping to build the Biography Laboratory project.
As we combine our personal and professional lives in this way, we are also
contributing to the richness of our lives and relationships outside the
Biography Laboratory. We are choosing more and more to become
co-creators in our personal and professional lives. Amy and Susan ended
our conversation about co-creation in this way:
Amy:
I feel camaraderie with the group, and its like sharing these
stories and remembering these stories with the group really
concretises them. It changes from being an alternative story
to being my story. It switches in the sharing.
Susan: Thats what I find too. I find its so much more real for me.
Sharing memories today has been like connecting to
everyone and sharing in the richness and it does make my
alternative story just the story. It feels like the more
important part of the story.
Acknowledgements
The co-researchers in the Biography Laboratory project are Leigh
Bulmer, Marie-France Gauthier, Csilla Przibislawsky, Amy Thomas and
Susan Ward. The project is funded by a Concordia University Faculty
Research Development Progam Grant.
References
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Allison, D. (1996) Two or Three Things I Know for Sure. New York: Plume.
Andersen, T. (1999) The reversal of light and sound: from an interview with
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Cattanach, A. (1992) Drama for People with Special Needs. London: A&C Black.
Dunn, J. (1988) The Beginnings of Social Understanding. Oxford: Blackwell.
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Gersie, A. and King, N. (1990) Storymaking in Education and Therapy. London:
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Jennings, S. (1998) Introduction to Dramatherapy: Theatre and Healing Ariadnes
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Jones, P. (1996) Drama As Therapy. Theatre as Living. London: Routledge.
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White, M. (1995) Re-authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays. Adelaide: Dulwich
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Contributors
Sue Allanson has been working therapeutically with abused children for the past ten years
both with statutory and voluntary agencies. She set up a therapy centre for children in Leeds
under the auspice of FSU and currently works for NSPCC as a play therapist trainer and
consultant. Whilst undertaking the MA course in play therapy at Roehampton Institute she
became interested in using stories as part of the therapeutic process. She is also a sculptor and
enjoys the process of image making for herself.
Ann Cattanach is a play therapist and dramatherapist and has an MSc in Developmental
Medicine and a PhD for Play Therapy research. She has worked in schools, institutes of
higher education and universities in the UK, Singapore, Malaysia, and the Netherlands. Ann
has been a childcare consultant therapist for Hammersmith and Fulham Social Services and
Harrow Community NHS Trust and developed the first MA programmes in Play Therapy in
the UK. She is now a freelance consultant therapist.
Sally Hanson is a qualified play therapist and is currently completing an MA at the
Roehampton Institute. She has worked with children for over 25 years, where much of her
involvement has been with children who have experienced emotional and behavioural difficulties. She now works as a freelance play therapist for voluntary and statutory services and
also provides creative workshops and training about play for a small charity she co-founded
in North Wales.
Sheila Hudd has a BSc (Hons) in Psychology, MSC (Econs), DIPSW, Cert. Couples and
Family Therapy and a Post Graduate Diploma and MA in Play Therapy. She has worked as a
part-time lecturer in Psychology and as a researcher in the fields of social and medical
research and has published and presented her research in these areas. Sheilas experience
with children and families includes working in a Family Assessment and Treatment Centre.
She is currently employed as a play therapist in a Child Adolescent and Family Mental
Health Clinic in London. She also works on a project supporting the mental health needs of
231
232
THE STORY SO FAR
looked after children. Her area of special interest continues to be early parentchild interaction and all aspects of child development.
Alison Kelly has a background in special education, having qualified in 1985 as a drama
and movement therapist at The Central School of Speech and Drama in London. She also has
an MA in Play Therapy from Roehampton. She currently works as a state-registered
dramatherapist for Croydon Educational Psychology Service, working with children and
young people who have emotional and behavioural difficulties and also has a private practice
as a dramatherapist and registered supervisor.
David Le Vay has experience as both social worker and therapist working with children and
families within a child protection context. His work as a play therapist has focused on
children who have experienced significant loss, trauma and abuse. He is a full member of the
British Association of Play Therapy and sits on their executive committee and is also a
Visiting Lecturer on the Play Therapy Graduate Diploma at Surrey University, Roehampton.
David currently works for ACT, an organisation which specialises in providing assessments
and therapeutic support to children and young people who present with problematic and
abusive sexual behaviour.
Christine Novy began her career as a play and dramatherapist in London where she worked
with children, adolescents and their families in a variety of settings. In 1997 she moved to
Montreal, Canada to teach in the new Drama Therapy programme at Concordia University.
There she is principal investigator for the Biography Laboratory, an action research project
combining ideas and practices from dramatherapy and narrative therapy to further a new
methodology of story co-creation and performance in therapy.
Maureen Scott-Nash is a qualified social worker and play therapist and has spent much of
her 20-year career working directly with children. The main area of her work has been in the
field of adoption and fostering children with special needs. Since becoming a freelance play
therapist Maureen has worked predominantly in the hospice movement where she has
particular expertise in working with bereaved children and those living with a life threatening illness. Maureen also acts as an adviser to families and volunteers on all aspects of
understanding the effects of these life-changing experiences for such children.
Ruth Watson is an Australian who came to the UK in the late 1960s and fell in love with
London. She has completed a BA degree in Sociology at LSE and has a CQSW and two
Masters degrees one in Deviance and Social Policy (1977) and the other in Play Therapy
(1998). Ruth is both a practice teacher and the deputy director of Independent Adoption
Service in Camberwell where, for many years, she has been working to find families for older
children who have been damaged and hurt by their experiences. Ruths interest in play
therapy arose when she was trying to find a better way of working with children and wanted
to use something that would enable the childrens imagination and play to be utilised.
Subject Index
abused children
attachment styles 151, 1734
common story themes and content 64,
172, 176
disclosure 1934
narrative identity 36, 378, 54
stages in play therapy 92
stories and narratives 9, 429, 5981,
196205
adoption, and disclosure of abuse 1934
adoption process, as a rite of passage 10,
83102
background information 835
children in transition 859
play therapy 8992
stage one: separation and loss 925
stage two: transition 956
stage three: incorporation 967
themes of therapy 979
Adult Assessment Interview 156
Ainu myth from Japan 14
Angus Og and the Birds (Scottish story)
2067
antisocial behaviour 152
art, and ritual 87
assessment
families 14950, 1525
through stories 64, 1545
work with narrative and text 55
attachment 1011, 79, 83, 14985
and behaviour 152
case studies 15879
family assessment 14950, 1525
study subjects 1557
theory 1501, 179
attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder
150
behaviour problems
attachment and 152, 155, 156,
17980
play therapy 30
bereavement, childrens experience 111,
117
Bergkamp, Dennis 142
Biography Laboratory 11, 20929
the artists way 21314
co-creation in community 2258
long-term goal 21213
possibilities of expression 21314

remembering/re-membering 2235
work in progress 21623
birth families 90
disclosure of abuse in 193
exploring contact problems 2930
meeting birth mother 2023
opposition to adoption 889
story of separation and loss 934
blood disorders 131
bodily functions, fascination for children
212
body image, children with cancer 12930,
1323
bone marrow aspiration biopsy 1356
borderline personality disorder 150
brain, right hemisphere 63
Bring Me Four (Arab story) 191
candle ritual 88
care system 8, 11
imbalance of power 86
shortcomings 1946
Centre for Crisis Management in Education
120
Change (Carla) 195
Childrens Stories in Play Therapy (Cattanach)
196
clay 1323
co-construction
mother and infant 19
therapist and client 78, 36, 38, 40,
545, 645, 124, 188, 212
co-creation 214, 217
role of community 2258
cognitive development, attachment and
151
community
earliest memory 210
importance in narrative therapy 211,
214
role in co-creation 2258
conduct disorder 150, 152
containment 86
in play with slime 2830
control 52, 978
loss in leukaemia 136
through play with slime 278
Damocles syndrome 123
death
life-threatening illness 1267, 146
as theme of childs stories 923
see also trauma
233
234
THE STORY SO FAR
Deep Pond, The (Kate) 94

developmental psychology 1534
Dinosaur and the Super Train, The (Daniel)
423
domestic violence 22, 24, 26, 27
dramatherapy
co-creation 226
as group process 211
the journey 213
value to children 210
dramatic play 967, 978
drawings and paintings 956, 99, 10910,
1623
self-portraits 8, 13740
duality 50, 52, 55
eco-map 141
Embodiment Play 19
enactment 109, 1424, 21920
endings, of childs stories 7980
Evanston Family Therapy Center, Illinois
216
fabric, use in Biography Laboratory 214,
218, 219, 223
fairy tales 63
families
assessment 14950, 1525
attachment 1011, 14985
attitudes and responses to trauma 104,
110, 117
response to childs leukaemia 1267
transition to adoption 902
family therapy 36
family trees 2245
Father and Mother Both Fast (Hillbilly story)
205
fatherchild relationship 1801
fathers, unknown 204
fear, in childs stories 79
fingerpaints 1617, 30, 128, 165
Flying Head, The 161
Foolish Man, Wise Man and the Jug, The (Sufi
story) 189
football 1414
foster care 11, 23, 29, 173, 1936
abuse in 60, 193
transition to adoption 845
Founding of Tradition, The (Sufi story) 190
funerals, children and 110, 111, 112,
11718
Gak 20
gold and glitter pens 99
group intervention 103, 104, 10714

Hansel and Gretel (puppet play) 210
healing rituals 87
Herald of Free Enterprise disaster 115
hermeneutic circle/spiral 545, 645, 66
hermeneutics 40
Hickman line 12830
Hungerford massacre 120
identity
construction through drama 210
construction through messy play 10,
26, 31, 131
effect of repeated disclosure 194
safe exploration 188
threefold development 153
transformation through art 21516
see also narrative identity; self
infancy 19, 24, 152, 179
internal working models 1534, 181
interpretation
and exploring shared meaning 70
play with slime 267
Invitation to Social Construction, An (Gergen)
192
Johnny (Carla) 201
joint pretend play 2267
journeys
dramatherapy 213
life 187
Kings Favourite, The 1923
learning disability label 59
leukaemia 10, 12348
and body image 12930, 1323
emotional/psychological impact 123,
126, 1312
as enemy within 134
informing children 1267
medical procedures 1234, 1356
shared care system 1256
life journeys 187
life story books 88
local authority care 41, 84, 90
see also foster care
love hearts 956, 99
Maori (Gersie) 33
messy play 89, 1333, 165
metaphor 37, 39, 51, 56, 66, 13940
story as a 1057
Monsters in Sea World, The (Nicholas) 164
SUBJECT INDEX
Mother of the Sea Beasts, The (Netsilik story)

199200
motherchild relationships 69, 79, 197,
199
attachment study 158, 168, 171,
1745
infancy 19, 24
and narrative identity 9, 35, 412,
501, 53
mothers
lost and loving 2024
theme in childs stories 98
movement, use in Biography Laboratory
214, 218, 219, 221
Munchausen syndrome by proxy 41, 55
mutual storytelling technique 64
My Dog Jeffrey (Kristen) 71
narrative
compared with plot 193
compared with story 4950
emergence through play 17
relationship with text 40
and stories of identity 125
narrative configuration 39
narrative identity 9, 3641, 516
definition 38
Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends (White
and Epston) 212, 219
narrative therapy
creating alternative stories 154,
21213
definitional ceremony 21718
role of community 211, 214, 217
spreading the news 21415
Narrative Therapy (Freedman and Combs)
216
Narrow Road to the Deep North, The (Basho)
187
needs, in childs stories 77
Noel Edmonds TV Christmas Special 145
parents, attachment study
attachment histories 150
case studies 158, 168, 1701, 1745
experience of abuse 157, 180
parenting styles 156, 157, 17980
relationship difficulties 157, 180
Pauls Elephant in a Bad Mood 1723
People Who Hugged the Trees, The (story from
India) 1057
personhood, concept of 1913
Peter Pan (Barrie) 204
Pick-a-nose picks awful poem (Patten) 21
235
play spaces 20, 89, 128

play therapy
in adoption process 8992
developmental model 15
in family assessment 1525
reintegrating attachment 154, 181
social construction approach 86,
1245, 1523, 18890
Play Therapy for Abused Children (Cattanach)
20
play worlds 1518
playdoh 223, 31
post-traumatic stress 104, 108, 150
postmodern thought 36, 188
Practical Approaches to Dramatherapy
(Anderson-Warren and Grainger) 211
psychic trauma 126
psychoanalytic model 64
racism 60, 194
Reciprocated Love (Carla) 203
Records of a Weather Exposed Skeleton, The
(Basho) 188
Red Stalk, The (Highlands spell) 208
reflexive stance 36
Reindeer Alone on a Mountain, The (Nicholas)
160
relationships
and birth of meaning 192
in childs stories 779
parental difficulties 157, 180
see also fatherchild relationships;
motherchild relationships
rite of passage
adoption process as 83102
play therapy as 8
Rites of Passage (Van Gennep) 867
rituals 869, 91, 108
Royle Family, The (TV programme) 193
sandtray play 689, 1334
Scary Monster in Sea World, The (Nicholas)
1612
Seaman, David 142
school
behaviour problems 30, 155, 156, 180
trauma intervention 10321
self
attachment and 151, 181
as ongoing process 36, 389
physical 19, 256
social constructionalist stance 191
text analogy 3941
see also identity
236
THE STORY SO FAR
self-esteem 60, 92
self-perception 64
self-reflection 8
self-representation, attachment and 151,
181
sensory experiences, in childs stories 79
sensory worlds 9, 1924
sexual abuse 41, 53, 60, 66, 73, 90
six-part story structure 64
slime 9, 10, 1333, 1301, 1367, 1634
and beginnings 18
and being 303
containment 2830
mastery and control 278
and nothingness 245
play worlds 1518
sensory aspects 203
slime worlds 1315
and somethingness 257
Slime 20
social construction approach 86, 1245,
1523, 18890, 1912, 211
social services 42, 1934
Something Happened to Moesha (Lisa) 613
Spice Girls 967, 1001
sticky toys 29
stories
magic of 634
search for shared meaning 9, 5981
ten years of 196205
story
compared with narrative 4950
as a metaphor 1057
as progression 220
story-creation process, Biography
Laboratory 21922
story stems 64, 1545
childrens stories 142, 159, 1656,
16970, 1712, 1756
storying experience 36, 37, 40, 146,
1912, 212
text analogy 9, 3941, 51, 55
limitations 56
theatre
and ritual 87
spreading the news 215
and transformation 213
therapistclient relationship
co-construction 78, 36, 38, 40, 545,
645, 124, 188, 212
developmental model 15
sensitivity 7
social construction approach 86, 188
Tibetan Buddhism 39
transitional space 378
trauma 10321
adult attitudes and responses 10,
1034, 11516, 117, 11820
aftermath 11416
follow-up work 116, 11820
group intervention 10714
school feedback 114
story as metaphor 1057
Two or Three Things I Know for Sure (Allison)
224
uncontainment 512, 55
When the Dust Falls the Feathers will Settle
(Carla) 1989
Wild Leopard, The (Nicholas) 1656
womens experience 2234
Zos Story with Puppets 1778
Zos Story with Slime 178
Name Index
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Belehar, M. C.,
Waters, W. and Wall, S. 151
Allison, D. 224
Andersen, T. 36, 211, 218
Anderson-Warren, M. and Grainger, R.
211, 214, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222,
225, 226
Ayalon, O. 107, 11213, 119
Barrie, J. M. 204
Basho, M. 187, 188
Bettleheim, B. 63
Black, D. 110, 112
Bowlby, J. 83, 117, 150, 153
Bretherton, I. and Waters, E. 150, 151,
170
Bruner, J. 72
Buchsbaum, H. K. and Emde, R. N. 155
Buchsbaum, H., Toth, S., Clyman, R.,
Cicchetti, D. and Emde, R. 64, 71,
155
Burr, V. and Butt, T. 1889
Capewell, E. 11920
Cattanach, A. 15, 19, 20, 24, 92, 108,
124, 154, 161, 172, 178, 180, 196,
211, 215
Cole, B. 19
Combs, G. 216
Crittenden, P. M. 154
Cummings, E. M. and Cicchetti, D. 151
Furman, E. 114
Gardner, R. 64
Gergen, K. J. 1912
Gersie, A. 33, 113
Gersie, A. and King, N. 220
Gill, A. A. 193
Greenberg, M. T., Speltz, M. L., De Klyen,
M. and Endriga, M. 152
Hardy, B. 37
Harre, R. 41
Hodges, J. 76, 155
Hoffman, L. 36
Holmes, J. 156
Howe, D., Brandon, M., Hinings, D. and
Schofield, G. 174
Jenkyns, M. 213
Jennings, S. 86, 87, 210, 213, 218
Jewitt, C. 88
Jones, P. 209, 213, 21516, 218, 221,
222
Kobak, R. R. and Sceery, A. 151
Koocher, G. P. and OMalley, J. E. 123
Lahad, M. 116
Lahad, M. and Cohen, A. 64
Lax, W. D. 38, 40
Le Guin, U. 35
Lendrum, S. and Syme, G. 109, 118
Lilleyman, J. S. 125, 130
Linesch, D. 54, 645, 70
Lyons-Ruth, K. 152
McCune, L., DiPane de Fireoved, R. and

Fleck, M. 151
McMahon, L. 111
Main, M. 150
Main, M. and Hesse, P. 151
Eiser, C. 131
Main, M., Kaplan, N. and Cassidy, J. 152,
Eiser, C. and Twamley, S. 126
170
Eldelman, M. 86
Main, M. and Solomon, J. 151
Erikson, H. 153
Malchiodi, C. 136, 141
Erikson, M., Korfmacher, J. and Egeland, B. Meins, E. 151
153
Moore, T. and Ucko, L. E. 155
Morgan, A. 222
Fahlberg, V. 79, 141
Myerhoff, B. 225
Fonagy, P. and Steel, M. 150
Fonagy, P. and Target, M. 150
Nezworski, T., Tollan, W. and Belsky, J.
Frank, A. 124, 141, 147
179
Freedman, J. 216
Freedman, J. and Combs, G. 212, 21415, Oaklander, V. 104
217, 222, 223
Derrida, J. 56
Dunn, J. 226
Dyregrov, A. 104, 107
237
238
THE STORY SO FAR
Oppenheim, D., Emde, R. N. and Warren,

S. 151
Patten, B. 21
Piaget, J. 181
Polkinghorne, D. 39
Pynoos, R. S. and Eth, S. 176
Ricoeur, P. 38
Russell, R. and van den Broek, P. 181
Ryan, T. and Walker, R. 88
Sartre, J. P. 24
Schaffer, H. 181
Schneider, M. F. 212, 213
Shakespeare, W. 103
Sontag, S. 124
Sourkes, B. M. 126, 130, 137, 146
Spinetta, J. J. and Spinetta, D. 123
Srivasta, S. and Barret, F. 221
Sroufe, L. A. 150, 151
Terr, L. 126
Turner, V. 87, 215
Van Gennep, A. 867, 89, 92
Van Ijzendoorn, M. H. 152
Wharam, T. 219
Wheelan, S. A. 2278
White, J. L., Mofit, T. E., Earls, E., Robins,
L. and Silva, P. A. 176
White, M. 214, 21718, 225
White, M. and Epston, D. 36, 3940, 146,
154, 192, 212, 213, 214, 219
Winnicott, D. W. 131
Wood, D. 38
Yule, W. 115
Zalasiewics, J. and Freedman, K. 13
Zeanah, C. H. and Barton, M. L. 153

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The Story So Far

Where the Sky Meets the Underworld

ISBN 1 85302 211 X

Play Therapy with Abused Children

Communicating with Children and Adolescents

Edited by Anne Bannister and Annie Huntington

The Story So Far

Jessica Kingsley Publishers

When All the World was Slime

The Self is a Telling: A Childs

Jeffrey the Dog: A Search

All that Glitters is not Gold: The Adoption

In the Wake of the Monster:

The Wounded Hero

Finding the Way Back Home:

The Narrow Road to the Deep North:

The Biography Laboratory: Co-creating

THE STORY SO FAR

sensory materials to explore beginnings. As with the infant, the child in

THE STORY SO FAR

Chapter 4, All that Glitters is not Gold: The Adoption Process as a

their parenting styles and their childrens attachment and behaviour.

When All the World

THE STORY SO FAR

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

In the Developmental Model of Play Therapy described by Ann

THE STORY SO FAR

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

THE STORY SO FAR

Beginnings: the void

Where, and how, to begin? In my experience, this question is an

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

In early childhood infants first gain a sense of themselves in the physical

THE STORY SO FAR

Figure 1.1.Using the mat to provide play space in play therapy

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

different luminous colours: pinks, purples, oranges and some very

Pick-a-nose picks awful poem

THE STORY SO FAR

remained rigid and hostile to the whole idea as I showed her an

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

physical dimensions of the play space. Maybe the slime seemed a

THE STORY SO FAR

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

In these chaotic circumstances, no sense can be made of experiences, past

THE STORY SO FAR

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

Mastery and control

THE STORY SO FAR

destiny, pouring it from its pot into different containers, cups,

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

THE STORY SO FAR

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

THE STORY SO FAR

making sense, the disorder part of the process of creating meaning,

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS SLIME

Cattanach, A. (1992) Play Therapy with Abused Children. London: Jessica

The Self is a Telling

A Childs Tale of Alien Abduction

During my time as a play therapist, dramatherapist and social worker I

THE STORY SO FAR

in the notion of narrative identity, by which I mean the internal stories

THE SELF IS A TELLING: A CHILDS TALE OF ALIEN ABDUCTION