‘COSTAMBAR: Venny's Market Catamaran Beach Bar El Corey Costambar Library Pedro's Bar & Restaurant La Otra Vik’ Place ‘Sharky’s ‘Sam's @ Loase Resort PUERTO PLATA Big Lee's Beach Bar Tropical Bar Supermercado Jose Luis . Page 6 - Silence is golden! RUSA Money Exchange What To Do This Month Page 10 - North Coast winter boots! LAS ROCAS Definitely Not The News _| Page 13 - New childhood diseases! Los Tres Cocos The Rainy Day Page Page 17 - Our favourite gym machine! __| COFRES! Useful Telephone Numbers So Ocaan World Marina Classified Ads And Lots More Fun Stuff! | [event] alt [ tn | ei ° UTM TD NOVEMBER 25 | enovi TaniCostambar Monthly page 2 da Wee om le) a Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Call 809-993-4503 for details. Fine dining at it’s best! At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you'll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a million dollar view! Enjoy a relaxing breakfast on the beach. Every day they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. Their food never disappoints! WIFI ZONE!!! They inaugurate their brand new Seafood Lounge - The Jolly Lobster - on Monday November 2 at 7pm - free drink for all who attend! The Jolly Lobster is available for dining until 9:30pm with reservations only. Please reserve by 6pm! Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon has fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Kitchen now open 9:30pm to 11:00pm. Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach your way!! Every day 2 cuba/santo libres for RD$100 from 5-7pm. Lobster empanadas are back! The best burger in town, Kevin’s homemade Mamajuana and fresh made Pina Coladas! On Saturdays & Sundays they are serving Rice & Beans. Yummy ground beef empanadas! They have a new menu this month!! WiFi! Pedro’s Bar & Restaurant has a full menu including Pedro’s Famous Cordon Bleu. Fridays 4-6pm they have cocktail specials. Watch all your favourite sports events here! WIFI Zone! Tropical Bar on the Malecon has over 20 types of Belgian beer and 8 sports channels! They serve a variety of food and tapas and every Friday have karaoke - including Dutch songs! Wednesdays get 3 crepes for RD$100 with real Belgian sugar & syrup. Daiquiris on special every Thursday - buy 2 get the 3rd one free! Fresh new meal specials all the time - pass by and check them out! And relax in comfy new lounge furniture! Over 30 different types of beer for you to try! Try the famous Belgian Bicky Burger!!! La Otra is celebrating their first anniversary this month. Party on November 7th with a free welcome drink and stage with DJ! They are holding a raffle - you can buy tickets for RD$200 all month at various Costambar locations. They would love to host your next event - from baptism to bachelor parties to weddings. Vik’s Place has cold drinks, hot music and yummy burgers! Breakfast 9am-4pm. Burgers, spaghetti and wings served all day every day! Ribs on Saturdays!!! Happy Hour & A Half from 6:30-8pm! Help Vik celebrate his birthday on November 14th! First bar in, last bar out! Sharky’s Food & Drink has something for you to enjoy every day but Monday. Tuesday to Saturday from 4:30-7:30pm they have Happy Hour with 2X1 Brugal Anejo drinks. Tuesdays they have 7 different types of Mojitos for you to try at only RDS150 each! Wednesdays are 10% off Wing Night! Thursdays are 10% off Tequila and Tex Mex food! Fridays they have Live Music and Saturdays it’s Karaoke! On Sunday they have all your favourite sports on 3 TVs!! Sam’s Bar & Grill at Loase Resort reopens on November 5 at 11:30am. Stop by for Leslie’s great food - fish & chips, fajitas, curry & more! Join them on November 26th for a Thanksgiving Feast with 2 seatings - 2pm & Spm. Turkey and all the trimmings - prepaid reservations only! Syl’s Place will be open on November 27th at ‘6pm for Thanksgiving Dinner. Reservations with a deposit are required.Costambar Monthly page 3 Pd Definitely Not The News HARD TO BE NEW SEAFOOD LOUNGE BOHEMIAN THESE DAYS! NOW OPEN! Serious DINING UNTIL 9:30PM shortages of WITH RESERVATIONS Bohemia beer are plaguing BY 6PM the North Coast lately. Rumours of production problems, voluntary shortages by the company and that it has been discountinued completey have many alarmed! There even seems to be a ‘black market’ for whatever Bohemia is available causing some bars to increase their prices - temporarily? ao WE HAVE SERIOUS BUYERS COSTAMBAR Real Estate _ !NQUIRING DAILY ABOUT Specialist for the Amber Coast PROPERTIES IN COSTAMBAR. YOUR PROPERTY COULD BE THEIR CHOICE!! Call 829-898-0607 to list your property www.costambar-realestate.com info@costambar-realestate.com aS COSTAMBAR Construction call 829-898-0607 No feb wamall orto bel Email klaasdomrep@gmail.comCostambar Monthly page 4 = — - Moreen DEB RO "¢ Pa fr Ge = ee BAR & RESTAURANT SINGING A BEE GEES SONG In front of jenny’s lopen Monday-Saturday 10:30am-9pm Closed Sundays| Ms THE DOOR, IT WAS JUST we ee BIG LEE’S Beach Bar lopen Every Day at 9am - 3rd caseta from La Sirena FULL MENU SERVED 9:30 AM - I:00 PM Enjoy Breakfast, Our Fantastic Fish & Chips, 809-970-7786 G® Ahhotel quest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May [help you?" ‘The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's Cheeseburgers & Fries or our Great Sandwiches! going to jump out the window." ‘The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter.” ‘The man replies, "Listen you idiot. The window won't open...and that's a maintenance matter” 809 848 9009 calle Prreipal ust past the fermaca = e< 6yl’s Place >>|! mber 20 NOW THEY'RE SHOVING BREAD UP A TURKEY'S ASS. THIS. costambarmonthly@gmail.com FLAN Has ies meee “LAST MONTH THEY WERE LOBOTOMIZING PUMPKINS,Costambar Monthly page 5 erent Rta sig ESE MOMENTO WHEN YOU START PENSAR EN DOS IDIOMAS AT THE SAME TIEMPO Vee sas tte Available for All 809-970-7617 Your Special Events! 829-770-0661 at the: moses sie oe they __ INTERNATIONAL GOURMET. are Wi e like: CUISINE and rm just tke: Los Tres Cocos RESTAURANT & AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES. Tego) 970-7627 (e808 993-2503, Las Rocas Cofesi, Mares CerradoCostambar Monthly page 6 Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every ‘year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter. Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that ae helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty wr dollars mene, (One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris ‘MORE THAN 20 TYPES OF BELGIAN BEER! said, ‘Esther, I'm 85 years old. IfI don’t ride that 8 SPORTS CHANNELS! helicopter, I might never get another chance, VARIETY OF FOOD & TAPAS! ‘To this, Esther replied, ‘Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars: ‘The pilot overheard the couple and said, ‘Folks Ill make you a deal. Il take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars” Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard, He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, EVERY FRIDAY but still not a word. ' NIGH’ When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, . Check us out on but you didn't. I'm impressed!" TropicalBarPOP © tripadvisor Morris replied, ‘Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty ON THE MALECON, CASETA #3, PUERTO PLATA dollars ie fifty dollars!" OPEN FROM 12PM. CLOSED TUESDAYS. p- El Carey 4 WELCOME TO KEVIN & PATRICIA’S EL CAREY Where you can enjoy the beach your way! 2 NEW MENU THIS MONTH Parking Peas Can we get these translated into Spanish? Pronto! gplacePuertoPlata.com The Best i ! OPEN Nov 2, 10, 22, 24, 26 & Dec 1 JAVAILABLE FOR ALL TYPES OF EVENTS! : ; Uri) asset are ore res When cruise ships are here Spanish 809-918-1443 English 809-924.8233 CLOSED MONDAYS (Calle Juan Bosch 60, Puerto PlataCostambar Monthly page 7 A group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One tranefers to another city and they're lost without him. A new woman joins their Club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if Ijoin you next week?" No one wants to ay 'yes’, but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says. Okay, but we start at 6:30 am, He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem, and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late, They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay". She's there at 6:30 am. sharp, and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She's fun and pleasant, and the quys are impressed. They congratulate her and invite her back the next week. She smiles, and says, "I'l be there at 6:30 or 6:45." ‘The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she plays left-handed. The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off- hand. They're totally amazed. They can’t figure her out. She's very pleasant and a gracious winner. ‘They invite her back again, but each man harbours a burning desire to beat her. The third week, she's 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys. This week she plays right-handed, and narrowly beats all three of them. The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she's so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they can't hold a grudge. This woman is a riddle no one can figure out. They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse, and finally, one of the men asks her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?” The lady blushes, and grins. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous” she replies. "like to switch back and forth. When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude, From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him, If his Willie points to the right, I golf right- handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed.” The quys think this is hysterical. Astonished at thie bizarre information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?” She says, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late.” SPORT BAR FOOD & DRINKS ©. <==) CALIFORNIA STYLE tea ‘Open Tues to Sat from 4:30pm Calle Principal, Costambar (beside the ferreteria) MONDAYS Closed TUESDAY- SATURDAY Happy Hour 4:30-7:30pm 2X1 Brugal Anejo Mojito Day Only RDS150 7 different types! TUESDAYS WEDNESDAYS THURSDAYS FRIDAYS SATURDAYS 110% off wings night! 110% Off Tequila and Tex Mex Food! Live Music!! 8pm Karaoke Night! 8pm (Open from NOON! Sports Bar! 3 TVs & All Your Sports! “unless otherwise noted all specials start at €:30pm= 809-970-3438 809-402-2553 SUNDAYS Vik’ s Place [a = No THE Rock place‘in Costamba The finest Selection of beers Breakfast served from. 9am "tilh4pm Burgers,Spaghetti,Wings... Now served every,day, all day Ribs on Saturdays!! And we're throwing a little party for Vik's birthday on the 44th So make sure to come by for the party!! FIRST BAR IN, LAST BAR OUT!!Costambar Monthly page 8 SMOOTH SAILING! It was hard not to get caught up in the excitement surrounding the arrival of the first cruise ship at Amber Cove. It was palpable! And it was wonderful to see Puerto Plata business owners and residents alike show their happy and friendly personalities to the tourists and to see everyone really really feel proud of the North Coast again! The cruceristas (cruise ship passengers) must have felt like celebrities with all the fuss made over them. With at least the first ship there were a decent number of independent visitors opting to do their own thing and visit the area on their terms. CM has personally seen tourists in Supermercado Jose Luis and La Sirena and walking around the area visiting some shops and attractions. The show put on in Central Park is lively and fun and you should go see it even if you aren’t a tourist. They repeat the show several times as long as the buses keep bringing the cruceristas. There is a little souvenir market and a visit there showed the prices, in most cases, to be very fair, the selection of items good and the vendors friendly and helpful without being pushy. It is a little out of the way for people to notice it and it could use a bit of shade as it can be crazy hot in there. Security is visible but not overwhelming and seem friendly and helpful. And yes, some of them are riding around on Segway type vehicles! And while many things that should have been completed in time for the cruise ships haven’t been even yet, a walk around Puerto Plata when a ship is in leaves you with a good feeling about the future of our new tourism venture. Yes, there will be growing pains and yes, there will be those who think they should have got rich overnight. But if calmer and saner heads prevail this could be the beginning of overall growth for the North Coast - even outside of the direct benefit of the cruceristas.Costambar Monthly page 9 THE RAINY DAY PAGE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 10 THANKSGIVING SUDOKU PUZZLES Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid, The remaining letters spell a hidden message Fill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number I througho. MA CP |LGRIMSPARADE SMAYSWEETPOTA OY N BEGINNER GNIREHTAGSHTHGAOS DNPLLABTOOFFRNICE osSuCKSNSLGEAONRLO OTMIERE!I!VSYIUAAODT FUPIOLODOVTYTENUNGA RFKCNAE!!TIRBNENAT |FtlyYOvYBOTENKGHOAGA EI|!NDAAVARRAEAYTNP NNPNLORERAELTPUAOD DGIAMTSYMWTREFOPE SYEKRUTRGBAILERMMH HARVESTNUVEAOQEYAS HSAUQSQUEHSRANLWA RFAM!LYLATTLADPEM 1, Use again after eee 5. Gastronome = 6. Paradigm a -... e 1. Go back to a previous 2 iesenee 4, AdjureCostambar Monthly page 10 The Best Value for your Advertising Peso! | Bag ST kS Trae DOT!) NEW RATES EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 2015 ; SIZE ‘APPROX. SIZE|_PRICE/MONTH FULL PAGE — BACK $4200 FULL PAGE - INTERIOR $3700 1/2 PAGE SxS" OR AKIO") ROS2I00 1/aPAGE xs" | _-aogiis0 1/8 PAGE ROSES UBINESS CARD AD a RO§520 ‘CUSTOM SIZE/SHAPE ADS Contact Us for a Quote Contact Us 809-970-7507/809-449-1820 costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca www.costambarmonthly.com SOLUTIONS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 9 MOR COI TOS T ena Care en ee) ele] = Em |i Oo D M T = PEER °° E sMa Ej t/t BEGINNER INTERMEDIATE 216 EE 4]6]2]5]9]e]3)1 s[7l4[1lel9l2/8 2[s[3|1[7[9l4/6 g[e[s[5[2[6l4/7 o[slelel4[2[5/7 HIDDEN MESSAGE 7\3[4[6[2|1]/e[9|5]]2\6l9]1/s[3[4]7/5 MACY’S THANKSGIVING 5 6lalel3i4l7|1/2]|slel7[6i4l2|1j93 DAY PARADE 2jeli[s|7iafa[sle|{4[3iil7[9[slel2 6 we she Neg @/4f2tolela[s|7|1| [3] 4[4[5|2[el7 [6/9 2 = bd [1 /s{2[4[7/3[e[9] els l2[ol7[1[3 [8/4 Cee C&C &”_—s (ei sblelshelele| fo zlefelsfels [ileCostambar Monthly page 11 Here Are 30 Things You Can Say to Both A Toddler and Your Drunk Friend: 1. You can't nap here. You need to go to your bed. We don't eat food from strangers. We never touch our private parts in public. We pee in toilets, not in the street. Chew with your mouth closed. Keep your fingers out of your nose. Tam not playing that song again. We have heard it 15 times. Put on your pants. Don't put that in your mouth. It's not nice to stare. Yes, those are boobies, but we don't touch those. 11, I know, couch is a funny word. 12, You have to eat all your food. 13. Stop looking at me like that. 14. I'm going to tell your father. 15, We need to use our "inside" voice. 16. Please keep your hands to yourself. 12. Don't point, it's rude, 18. Please go back and wash your hands. 19. Do you really think whining will get you what you want? 20. Please hold my hand in the parking lot. 1 don't want you to get hit by a car. 21. I don’t have any more money. Please stop asking. 22. Tknow I said you could have ice cream, but it's too late now. 23. Please don't roll around in the grass, you are going to get your clothes dirty. 24, 1am not going to ask you to sit down again. SIT DOWN. 25, Please don't ask me if we're almost there. will tell you when we get there. 26. Do you need to sit in my lap? 27. Ineed you to use nice words. 28, We don't hit. Hitting is bad. 29. Why are you holding yourself? Do you need to pee? 0. Itold you to sit here. Why did you leave? You have to tell me when you're going ‘somewhere. WHEN I TURN 80 I WON'T NE@D GLASSES... PLL Just DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE! NOWSWN Som HAVING RUST PROBLEMS? Rust I Will work on clean steel or rusty steel, galvanized metal. zinc. aluminum, ‘un oF previously painted surfaces. + Is a universal paint primer. and a "rust ‘converting paint primer + Can overcoat with all different types ‘of paint - no restrictions. + Needs no sanding or deglossing. = is a self etching primor that "bicos™ into a painted surface, + Isa unique I-step process. DS EES SOMETHING STUPID SAT TE WO a MAKE IT WORSECostambar Monthly page 12 Lena goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. Lena says,"Excuse me, sir. Can yew tell me anyting about dis rod and reel?” He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.” She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00." She says, "Uffda, it's amazing dat yew can tell all dat yust by de sound of it dropping on the counter. Til take it!" As che opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts, At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it, was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please.” Lena is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't ‘yew tell me da rod and reel vere on sale for $20.00? How did yew get $34.50?" He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50." DO YOU HAVE A LICENCE FOR THAT THING! Time again folks to get your marbete or licence sticker renewed. The price has not changed - RD$1200 for cars up to 2010 and RDS2200 for cars after 2010. The deadline is January 8 2016 and there are apparently lots of places, including the internet (dgii.com.do) to pay for your renewal. It is advisable to do this as soon as possible to avoid the inevitable last minute rush in January! Pe) PcG Health Insurance Available Through “International Residents Club” RD$1580 Includes Dental RD$1890 with Drugs FOR DETAILED INFO OR TO PAY Tuesday Nov 3 & Dec 1 Barcos, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pm Pedro’s Bar, Costambar 6:30pm Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr 809-904-8535/809-543-2155 ¢ Sport massage 4 Deep tissue massage ¢ Trigger point massage ¢ Lymph massage/ drainage 4 Relax massage NOW OFFERING LASER THERAPY! Home And Hotel Visits Tel: 829 549 9516 Email: plokkie@hotmail.comCostambar Monthly page 13 ATTENTION BOATERS! NOW AVAILABLE! Blue Water Antifouling Paint Ablative and hard Also Topside paint and varnish All at U.S. Prices! Call 809-449-1819 or Email drcigarman@yahoo.com For details and orders BLUE WATER’ Marine PAINT IT'S GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS. THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE FIGHTING, MY IMAGINARY FRIEND IS RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, AND AT ONE POINT ONE OF MY PERSONALITIES WANDERED OFF. OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME! Immigration has recently released new overstay fees. The only difference appears to be that the tourist card is now valid for 60 days instead of 30 days. This may be to ease fears of snowbirds and other long stay visitors. So a stay of up to 60 days and you pay nothing. Stay 61 days to 90 days and you pay RDS2500. And so on. PRORROGA UNICA DE PERMANENCIA (ESTADIA) CP-PP-01-01 61 DIAS A 90 DIAS 2,500.00 CP-PP-01-02 3 A.9 MESES 4,000.00 CP-PP-01-03 9 A 12 MESES 5,000.00 CP-PP-01-04 12 A 18 MESES 6,500.00 CP-PP-01-05 18 A 24 MESES 8,000.00 CP-PP-01-06 24 A 30 MESES 9,500.00 CP-PP-01-07 30 A 36 MESES 11,000.00 CP-PP-01-08 36 A48 MESES 16,000.00 CP-PP-01-09 48 A 60 MESES 20,000.00 CP-PP-01-10 6 ANOS 30,000.00 CP-PP-01-11 7 ANOS 40,000.00 CP-PP-01-12 8 ANOS. 50,000.00 CP-PP-01-13 9 ANOS 60,000.00 CP-PP-01-14 10 ANOS 70,000.00 Be eats en et a When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School . One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. ‘Those who answered spine are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email. Beautiful lot just a couple of minutes from the Star Market in Puerto Plata. 750 square metres, quiet road, nice neighbourhood. Mountain view and harbour views. Spectacular view of the city lights at night. CALL PHOTO MIKE 809-492-9146 moonphotos@hotmaiCostambar Monthly page 14 Medical Liaison & Veteran Assistance (MELIVEA, SRL) Serertt ht Cryreier eer Perea nec rit Peete ee nen ene eee eee ee ere Honoring AllWhe Served + + * EXTREME MAKEOVER COSTAMBAR EDITION While new construction Definitely Not The News FM exciting and makes everyone think of progress, we at CM also get very excited about renovation projects like this one on calle Guayacanes because it seems that every time a new building is erected, another one is abandoned to rot. It’s hard to recognize this building from it’s former state of disrepair but it is now beautifully restored. A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird, Why are your feet so gross?" "Thad tolio as a child," he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.” The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued undressing, When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again wrinkled up her nose. “What's wrong with your knees?" She asked. “They're all lumpy and deformed!" “Asa child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.” ‘The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed hie underwear. "Don't tell me," she said. "Let me quess. Smallcox?" REYES & ASOCIADOS INSURANCE BROKERS We have the best prices We have the best health insurance plans We work with the biggest and best company. RD$965.00 includes Dental RD$1,140.00 includes Drugs For more information visit us February 27th Avenue #57 Puerto Plata or call us at 809-261-1105 from Monday to Friday from 8: 00am to 5:00 pm. GUARANTEED PRICES!Costambar Monthly page 15 Sy DI Marilyne WA. arilyne M.A. Keraokedi onitce For Any Event of ¥6 NA With Animation in Various Langu Large screen, Plasma screen & Light E 809-204-4172 I1’S BEEN A ROUGH MONTH BUT ON A POSITIVE NOTE I DIDN’T NEED ANY BAIL MONEY AND DIDN’T HAVE TO HIDE ANY BODIES! HAVING RUST PROBLEMS? More™ Rusty Metal Primer = Will worl on clean steel or rusty steel, galvanized metal, zine. aluminum, ‘tin or previously painted surfaces. + Is a universal paint primer: and a “rust converting paint primer”. = Can overcoat with all different types ‘of paint - no restrictions. + Needs no sanding or degiossing, + Ie a self etching primer that “bices™ into a painted surface, + Ie-a unique I-step process. A GUY BROKE INTO MY APARTMENT LAST WEEK. HE DIDN’T TAKE My TV, JUST THE REMOTE. NOW HE DRIVES BY AND CHANGES THE CHANNELS. SICK BASTARD! OPEN DAILY (INCLUDING HOLIDAYS) Mon-Sat 8am-10pm_ Sundays 8am-8pm Ean Mee IioMeestost ya Delivery, Service Available! Calle Principal Costambar (justinside the gate) 809-970-3028 QUALITY DOMINICAN _ CIGARS!! $e _suy virect AT FACTORY PRICES! DELIVERED TO YOUR HOTEL CALL THE CIGAR MAN 1-809-449-1819 eC AUN ‘APLATANADO’ WHEN When you see this new chocolate bar and know exactly what the name means! {aplatanado means you've become native) Cc MERCADO RENT-CAR SANTO MERCADO Manager Prices from US$30! = { Mercado Rent C: Rosary PeeCostambar Monthly page 16 A first qrade teacher presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the second half. It's hard to believe these were apparently actually done by first graders. Their insight and humour may surprise you. 1. You can lead a horse to water but... how? 2. Strike while the... .. bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before. Daylight Saving Time. 4, Never underestimate the power of... termites. until they stop, &. A miss is as good as a... 9. You can't teach an old dog 10. If you lie down with dogs, you' morning. 1 Love all, trust. me, 12, The pen is mightier than the. 13. An idle mind i: relax. 14, Where there's smoke there’. 15, Happy the bride who... presents. 16. A penny saved is... 17. Two's company, three’. 18, Don't put off till tomorrow what..... you put on to go to bed. 19, Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, ery and.. grounded. 22. at firet you don't succeed.. batteries. 23. You get out of something only what you. wu see in the picture on the box. 24. When the blind lead the blind... the way. And the best for last. 25. Better late tha Husband is walking behind his wife and says, “Your bottom ie getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.” ‘The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the husband starts getting amorous. Wife says, ‘I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it, by hand!” MARK YOUR CALENDARS! 5TH ANNUAL ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW & SALE IN AID OF BLANCO’S KIDS SATURDAY FEBRUARY 6TH ICostambar and area artists and crafters are invited to contact Archange at 809-970-7437 lor Judith at 809-970-7276 for more details. All art and craft lovers are invited to attend!! Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the circus, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." STL ey ry Parasite Clinic Saturday November 7 10am-Ipm Old El Portal Restaurant (Luz Maria’s) (Just outside Costambar Gate) ale BR Poison Antidote Kits Now Availabl RDS1500 FOSTER & FOREVER HOMES, DONATIONS AND TRAVEL COMPANIONS VeCostambar Monthly page 17 WHO'D A THUNK IT! It recently came to the attention of CM that there are actually surveillance cameras en Central Park in Puerto Plata! Guess it’s dark glasses and floppy hats from here on out!! I HAD A REALLY BAD DAY. FIRST My EX GOT RUN OVER By A Bus. THEN I GOT FIRED FROM My JOB AS A BUS DRIVER. SOMETIMES I WRITE ‘DRINK RUM’ ON MY TO DO LIST JuST SO I FEEL LIKE I ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING! Py 3 GALLON ONLY RD$2300 Always know how much gas you get or have left! Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine It's great though. It does everything - - CLEAR FIBERGLASS PROPANE CYLINDER TANK IDEAL FOR BOATS Tanks & valves are brand new Made in the USA Lightweight & rustproof! CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819 in, Only used it for half an hour, as started to feel sick. KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.” VIVERO MAIMON @& NN GREEN THUMB bey caping/Gardening/Maintenance Bouyer aca LCi! ere aia’ BITES arti 4 BUT Ma Coe Tt) NYA BEST PRICES ON THE Btw (iC George 7 CTS} 809-543-8041 OPEN Pt ley al BENS Cr ~~Costambar Monthly page 18 Crs WANTED Need 1-2, maybe 3 [if group) to join my 2 other friends from the States, Chartered boat out of Ocean World Marina. Deep sea fishing at its best. Top notch boat, equipment, captain. Cost $200 per person. May be less if we get 2 or 3 more fisherman, Date is Nov. 24th, with possible 2nd day on Nov. 25th. Boat fishes 7 people with no problem.Call Lou at 849-243-2141 or 809. 523-3999. Better to WhatsApp. Or e-mail at longashes1945@gmail.com. FOR SALE Unused 4k gasoline generator 2204/110v. Martneli ES4O0OXA, 10 hours use per tank. Bargain RD $25,000. Call 809 350 9595, FOR SALE Water pump (new) 0.5HP 1800pes0s, Myers Submersible Borehole Pump 1HP 220 volt 6000 pesos, AO inch electric miter saw 6000 pesos, Inverter thw 3500 pesos, Hammer Drill 600 pesos, es0watt petrol generator (used twice) 4500 pesos, Delta Scroll saw 4500 pesos. Mitsubishi L200 4x4 pickup, Diesel with manual gearbox, 2001 many new parts. real workhorse. 200,000 Pesos Te! 809 639 9393 or 809970 3287 FOR SALE Garage Sale, 14th of November, €. Brito #3. Water pump (new) 0.SHP Myers Submersible Borehole Purp AHP 220 volt, 10 inch electric miter saw, Inverter 1kw 3500 pesos, 650watt petrol generator, Delta Seroll saw, Skil saw 3000, 24 Volt battery charger, Instant Gas Heater, 4 Inverter Batteries 6 volt, Chainsaw, Car Radio/Cd player, UPS 600watt, plus many other DIY and domestic items Telephone 809 970 3287 FOR SALE Drone-Dil PRO PHANTOM~2 PLUS, lke new with back pack carrying case and many extras. us$1200 Call Ed 809-386-5506 WANTED 2.0r3 bedroom apartment, 2 bathrooms, swimming pool Needed December 30 for Long term. Call 809-988-1322 FOR SALE Original paintings on canvas, framed and ready to hang, Costambar. dorne@ymail.com FOR SALE TEKA kitchen gas stove top, 4 burners, used, in good condition. 3,500 pesos, negotiable. Call 809 392 0000. FOR RENT Halfway house for long term rent in Costambar. Very private, quiet despite central location, 1 min, to the beach, private parking. Big furnished apartment with one bedroom. Little pool, garden, Monthly rental US$450 all costs inclusive: 24 hour light, cold-warm water, gas for cooking, Claro-cable-TV, Wi-Fi look for pies on costambar-beach.de.tl Call cellphone 829 7276 845 Irina, German, English & Russian [costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only be placed by emailing costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca lr calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820 PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items. commercial properties or enterprises (including real estate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds will usually be run for one month only unless we are otherwise notified ©USEFUL NUMBERS Police Office 809-320-8510 809-320-8840 809-970-7877 809-970-7015 809-220-1114 809-261-1844 809-586-9823 809-970-7318 809-586-5761 809-586-4244 809-586-4204 809-586-6995 809-320-7601 809-586-2342 809-586-2519 809-970-7607, RU ew att SAY YOU SAW IT IN Ct ag a a ae) Costambar Community Center & Library ‘Open Sam-Spm Monday-Saturday Located next to the farmacia Separate English & foreign language book rooms WB) | WEL EEECostambar Monthly page 19 Costambar Dominican Republic INFO www.loase.com 809-970-7861 ~ i I. f_\ 809-837-6845 i \\ a7 — jojovco@aol.com Retreat & Recreation Center Check Out i, Tues-Sat samsbardr.com for Sam Ss Cafe 11:30am-8pm complete menu & events Sunday “Like” Sams Bar & Grill A t L oase 10am-4pm On Facebook Closed Mondays COME FOR LESLIE'S GREAT FISH & CHIPS, FAJITAS, CURRY, CHILE AND MORE! REOPENING NOVEMBER 5TH AT 11:30AM THANKSGIVING BER Thursday November 26th Menu 2 Seatings - 2pm & Spm. Turkey Mashed Potatoes & Vegetables ga Pumpkin Soup and Bread Prepaid reservations only by November 24th, Cranberry Sauce of Apple or Pumpkin Pie Because of the size and time to prepare Coffee or Tea TWIST aU ONAL a GES ee VOU WILE THINK VOURIGRANDMA\MADEMT! VOASE HAS ROOMS FOR RENT ASS ON A DAILY OR WEEKLY BASIS CASA OBEAR/VILLA IS RENTED “Reg BY THE WEEK. ate cist coon — CALL JOSE ALLRoaDs CI a 809-837-6845 ee tense OR VOASE s 809-970-7861 WWW.LOASE.COM noose ‘nota scale ResortCostambar Monthly page 20 PET & MARINE INSURANCE Edward William Insurance Services Edward William was incorporated in 2004 as an insurance agent afering quality pet and marine insurance at competitive premiums. Pet Insurance + Careful owners rewarded with no claims discounts + All pets and breeds considered Marine Insurance + Careful sailors rewarded with no claims discounts * All hull types considered, including Ferto, Steel & Timber dnard William is not led by a computer generated quotation system that says yes, no and how much, they have underwriters wh using the authority granted to them by the insurance company look at each risk on its merit and charge the appropriate premium for the cover required. Edward William has representatives all over the world to offer local advice and assistance wherever you are For no obligation quotation call us or go to our website and complete the online proposal forms. aR ed) ee PS (pyoTaMiaor Mss ello ome- Reco: ecm CME: MTom RTOesld ET ee@rec nets Tt www.edwardwilliaminsurance.com