Social Skill Training

Introduction to social skills training

In some cases, the most devastating effects of psychological and mental disorders are their
effects on the social aspect of life. Humans are social creatures and thrive on interaction with
others. Without this, depression and isolation are inevitable, leading to further detrimental
consequences on ones mental health. Equipping people who otherwise have no social skills or
practice in social skills with the necessary tools is becoming a prominent technique
in psychotherapy.
What are social skills?
Social skills are the behaviors, verbal and non-verbal, that we use in order to communicate
effectively with other people. Social skills are governed by culture, beliefs and attitudes. They
continuously change and develop throughout our lives. Somebody that uses social skills to
effectively interact with friends, family, workmates and strangers is said to have social
competence.
Some examples of social skills are:

Eye contact with others during conversation

Smiling when greeting people

Shaking hands when meeting someone

Using the right tone and volume of voice

Flirting

Expressing opinions to others

Perceiving how others are feeling and showing empathy

Appropriate emotional responses (e.g. crying when something sad happens; laughing
when someone says something funny)
The list of social skills goes on and on. Many of us do not even realize that these are skills but
treat them as part of everyday life. Unfortunately, for some people socializing is not that
easy, perhaps because they lack social skills or do not feel comfortable using their social skills.
What is social skills training (SST)?
Social skills training is a type of psychotherapy that works to help people improve their social
skills so they can become socially competent. SST is predominantly a behavioral
therapy but cognitive therapy can also be used in some situations to maximize the success of
SST. This psychotherapy can be done one-on-one or in a group situation.
Who can benefit from SST?
SST is mainly used for individuals that are diagnosed with certain mental or psychological
disorders and whose symptoms involve poor social functioning. However, anyone who wants to
improve their social skills and social confidence can benefit from this psychotherapy.

The diagram below will help explain this. The arrows represent symptoms that negatively affect
one another:

There are many factors that contribute to worsening social skills, which in turn impair many
other aspects of our lives. For example, social skill deficits cause social isolation, and social
isolation worsens social skills. These are just some examples of the many vicious cycles that we
see in psychology.

What is involved in SST?

Social skills training will almost always be combined with some other type of psychotherapy,
most often cognitive-behavioral therapy. The amount of time needed to complete an SST
program varies depending on how well you are learning the techniques and how much
confidence you have in using the skills in a social environment. Typically, eight one-hour
sessions are standard.

Basic SST implementation structure

All social skills training follows the same basic structural and implementation outline:
Identifying the problem

Firstly, the major social problem needs to be identified. For example, are the problems with
socializing predominantly a fear of large gatherings of people? Or speaking to people at work? In
order to figure out the major problems, the patient and psychologist work together through
discussion. Sometimes the psychologist may want to observe the patients behavior; this is
mainly with inpatient settings or children in the classroom.
The underlying psychology behind the social problems also needs to be determined. Sometimes
social problems are a result of a mental illness (e.g. schizophrenia), or they may have arisen from
a past trauma. Once these problems and reasons have been determined, your psychologist can
determine what skills need to be focused on, how best to teach the skills, and what other
therapies are required to help with the underlying issues.
Setting the goals

As with any type of psychotherapy, develop specific goals for the therapy. This will include a
broad overall goal as well as focused goals that may change from session to session. For SST, the
broad overall goal may be the ability to socialize comfortably in the staffroom, whereas the
individual goals will be skill-specific (e.g. learning how to greet someone, ask how they are and
respond appropriately).Once each goal or skill is mastered, the goal for the next session becomes
more difficult. Keeping the overall goal in mind will help you overcome times when you feel like
giving up on the therapy.
Modelling

Before you are expected to perform the skill, your psychologist will model the skill you are
focusing on, so that you can see exactly what you need to do before attempting to do it yourself.
Roleplaying

After your psychologist has modelled the skill, you will be asked to roleplay. This practice is a
very important aspect of SST. It may feel odd to roleplay, but until you have practised the skill, it
is hard to use it outside the safety and confinement that therapy sessions provide.
Feedback
Your psychologist will provide feedback at the end of each session. This feedback will help you
to identify your strengths and weaknesses, and the things you especially need to work on and
practice.

Homework!
In between sessions, your psychologist will set little homework challenges that you are
required to do in your own time throughout the week. Usually the homework will carry on
directly from the session, so that you practice the new skill you learnt. Depending on your
success at meeting the challenge, you will focus on a new, more difficult skill in the next session.
Bullying and peer pressure
Bullying and peer pressure are very prominent issues in primary schools. A lot of the time,
children who have not quite developed social skills are isolated and picked on. Not only does this
severely damage childrens self-confidence, but it also causes them to withdraw from most
aspects of school life.
SST for these children aims for peer group acceptation. The training is a combination of
cognitive-behavioral and social learning. It focuses on:

Encouraging attitudes and behaviors which enhance positive social interactions (i.e. pro
social behavior); and

Building coping strategies for dealing with peer pressure and bullying. This is will also
work positively on self-esteem.
Throughout the sessions, basic social skills are also taught, depending upon what specific social
area the child struggles with.
Maintaining the skills learnt in therapy
PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE! There is no other way to maintain or improve skills. If a
skill is practiced enough, it will become second nature, much like driving a car. People who have
social difficulties will never improve by avoiding social situations. The skills learnt in SST must
be remembered and constantly used in day to day activities. This is the only way you will
overcome your social issues.
You should also attend follow-up psychotherapy sessions.
Effectiveness
Social skills training can be very effective if you have self-efficacy. If you are consistent and
determined, practise your skills and come back for follow-ups, you are likely to benefit from
SST.
Assertiveness training
The word assertiveness is used to describe behavior which helps us to communicate clearly our
WANTS, NEEDS and FEELINGS to other people without abusing their rights as human beings.
It is not about 'getting what you want' all the time, but about negotiating life without constant
anxiety or lack of self-confidence, It is an alternative to aggressive, passive or manipulative
behavior.

There are few people who manage to be assertive in all areas of their lives. Some of us may be
assertive at work but experience difficulties with our personal relationships, others may cope
well within their personal relationships but lack assertive skills within their work situation.
Assertiveness skills affect all areas of our lives, personal, social and work, from communicating
with friends or partners, to returning faulty goods to shops or asking the boss for a rise.
The way in which we behave and communicate with others is an important factor in the
development of stress. Poor communication may often lead to unhealthy relationships which
may subsequently result in increased stress. Assertiveness skills lie at the heart of good
interpersonal communication and poor assertiveness skills can lead to the development of a
variety of problems. If we are unable to say 'no' to other people we run the risk of being
overwhelmed by their demands. If we fail to speak up for ourselves, express personal feelings or
thoughts then we are unlikely to feel comfortable or fulfilled with our identities. On the other
hand if we can only communicate in an aggressive or manipulative way we may fail to develop
healthy or trusting relationships.
Assertiveness training is a structured intervention aimed at improving the effectiveness of our
communication skills in all these areas and involves a number of components:

Understanding the underlying principles of assertiveness.

Recognizing the different styles of communication.

Identifying specific situations in which we would like to become more assertive.

To prepare, rehearse or role play a different, more assertive response.

Transferring that behavior into 'real life' situations.

The philosophy behind assertiveness is based on the premise that:'we are all equal, with no one being more, or less, important than anybody else and because we
are all equal we all possess the same basic human rights'
The goal of assertiveness training is that: we learn to stand up for our rights without violating
the rights of others'
However, learning to become assertive means that we make certain changes in the way that we
behave and communicate with other people. Relationships are at the best of times complex, and

it may be that when one partner begins to change, the other will feel threatened. Therefore it is
important that we discuss changes that we intend to make in ourselves with those people who
might be affected. In this way we can reduce the risk of this occurring.
Developing Your Assertiveness
Some people are naturally more assertive than others. If your disposition tends more towards
being either passive or aggressive, you need to work on the following skills.
Value yourself and your rights

Understand that your rights, thoughts, feelings, needs and desires are just as important as
everyone else's.

But remember they are not more important than anyone else's, either.

Recognise your rights and protect them.

Believe you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.

Stop apologizing for everything.

Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied

Don't wait for someone to recognize what you need (you might wait forever!)

Understand that to perform to your full potential, your needs must be met.

Find ways to get your needs met without sacrificing others' needs in the process.

Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behavior

Don't make the mistake of accepting responsibility for how people react to your assertive
statements (e.g. anger, resentment). You can only control yourself.

As long as you are not violating someone else's needs, then you have the right to say or
do what you want.

Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive manner

Allow yourself to be angry, but always be respectful.

Do say what's on your mind, but do it in a way that protects the other person's feelings.

Control your emotions.

Stand up for yourself and confront people who challenge you and/or your rights.

Receive criticism and compliments positively

Accept compliments graciously.

Allow yourself to make mistakes and ask for help.

Accept feedback positively be prepared to say you don't agree but do not get defensive
or angry.

Learn to say "No" when you need to

Know your limits and what will cause you to feel taken advantage of.

Know that you can't do everything or please everyone and learn to be OK with that.

Go with what is right for you.

Suggest an alternative for a win-win solution.

Assertive Communication Techniques

There are a variety of ways to communicate assertively. These can easily be adapted to any
situation you are facing.
I statements
Use "I want.", "I need." or "I feel." to convey basic assertions.
I feel strongly that we need to bring in a third party to mediate this disagreement.
Empathy
First, recognize how the other person views the situation:
I understand you are having trouble working with Arlene.
Then, express what you need:
...however, this project needs to be completed by Friday. Let's all sit down and come up with a
plan to get it done.
Escalation
This type of assertiveness is necessary when your first attempts are not successful in getting your
needs met.

The technique involves getting more and more firm as time goes on. It may end in you telling the
person what you will do next if you do not receive satisfaction. Remember though, regardless of
the consequences you give, you may not get what you want in the end.
John, this is the third time this week I've had to speak to you about arriving late. If you are late
one more time this month, I will activate the disciplinary process.
Ask for More Time
Sometimes, you just need to put off saying anything. You might be too emotional or you might
really not know what you want. Be honest and tell the person you need a few minutes to
compose your thoughts.
Dave, your request has caught me off guard. I'll get back to you within the half hour.
Change Your Verbs

Use 'won't' instead of can't'

Use 'want' instead of 'need'

Use 'choose to' instead of 'have to'

Use 'could' instead of 'should'.

Broken Record
Prepare ahead of time the message you want to convey:
I cannot take on any more projects right now.
During the conversation, keep restating your message using the same language over and over
again. Don't relent. Eventually the person is likely to realize that you really mean what you are
saying.
I would like you to work on the Clancy project.
I cannot take on any more projects right now.
I'll pay extra for you accommodating me.
I cannot take on any more projects right now.
Seriously, this is really important, my boss insists this gets done.
I cannot take on any more projects right now.

Will you do it as a personal favor?

I'm sorry, I value our past relationship but I simply cannot take on any more projects right now.

References
1.

Myers DG. Chapter 17: Social Psychology. In: Brune C. Psychology 7th Edition. New
York: Worth Publishers; 2003. 694-741.
2.
Bellack AS. Skills training for people with severe mental illness.Psychiatric
Rehabilitation Journal. 2004; 27(4): 375-391.
3.
Kopelowicz A, Liberman RP, Zarate R. Recent advances in social skills training for
schizophrenia. Schizophrenia Bulletin. 2006; 32(1): S12-23.
4.
Hofmann SG. Cognitive factors that