Purity

Published October 2, 2010

Dennis first started our purity group while he was still a youth pastor at a local
church. After he stepped down, the purity group continued. These are the core values that hes
learned when he was at the purity group at BSSM (Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry).
About the group:
The goal of the purity group is to empower each other, to encourage each other to walk in purity,
and to be able to minister to people of the opposite sex without any issues. One of the goals we
have in our guys group to be able to walk into a room full of naked women, to not be phased, and
then minister from the heart of God to them.
Some of our core values:

Practice radical transparency

If you want your purity walk to succeed, you need to bring things into the light. Your purity is
like a plant; light will help it mature, and constant darkness will kill it. Opening up allows light
to come in as we edify/empower/encourage each other.
This is also about creating trust between members in the group, and practicing transparency so
that it will be much easier to pursue in marriage.

The value of the trophy (purity) I give to my wife is in the blood, sweat, and tears it
takes to get from the battlefield to the bedroom.

The value of a trophy is not in the cost in money, but the effort and time invested to obtain it
(think about any sport). Pursuing purity is a demonstration of love for my future spouse this is
all for her; I want to give something of very high value.

I radically pursue living in purity with eyes, thoughts , and actions.

Porn, lust, masturbation. The whole deal.

If the eye is good, the body will be full of light Matt 6:22
put off... your former conduct and be renewed in the spirit of your
mind, and put on the new man which was created according to God, in true
righteousness and holiness Eph 4:22-24

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute think about such things Phil
4:8

Im training myself to be sexually attracted to 1 person (my future wife).

If I train myself to be sexually attracted to only one person, that means that she will become the
standard of beauty in my life. If she becomes the standard of beauty in my life, she will never
feel the need to perform or feel the need to be someone else.

How to get free:

Before I start, you need to realize that it doesnt matter how messed up your history has been.
You can change right now. Youre forgiven (1 John 2:2, Col 2:13). You have grace to change. It
doesnt matter how bad your track record has been or even if youre caught in this right now.
You can get free, you are not condemned. Just like Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery,
I do not condemn you, go and sin no more (John 8:11).
Here we go!
1.) You are dead to sin.
Before you were born again, you were a sinner. It was your nature to sin. You sinned willfully
and had pleasure in it.
When you got born-again. You died! Dead to sin! Old nature is gone! (2 Cor 5:17)
How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Romans 6:2
For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death our old man
was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we
should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from
sin. Romans 6:5-7
Dead people do not respond. If you are dead to sin, it is in your nature to NOT sin. You are
dead. So that means that the thought to sin (temptation), is NOT yours. Why? Youre dead.
Its actually an evil spirit tempting you, throwing thoughts in your mind to tempt you. The
thoughts to sin (temptation), ARENT your thoughts, they are the enemys, an EXTERNAL
source.
This is why it says to take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:5). Not
every thought is yours, nor do you have to succumb to every thought that comes through your
head.

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If you can understand that, immediately you will realize that you are
empowered to NOT submit to that temptation. Why? Its the enemy tempting you. They are liars.
You are now empowered to say, No, to submit to God and resist the devil.
As long as you think temptations are your own thoughts, you will always be fighting against
yourself, and you will always lose.
If you can get through this video, it will help you significantly in this aspect.
If you can understand that you are DEAD to sin and that you are empowered to reject temptation,
you will not have to deal with an addiction, because the premise of an addiction is I cant help
it, I feel powerless to change and I am saying, Christ has set you free, you are empowered.
2.) Internal control vs. External control
After reading Danny Silks Loving our Kids on Purpose, I became a huge promoter of internal
control. I do not want [the majority of] my life to be driven by external circumstances or external
influence.

If the only reason I dont cheat on a test is because I might get caught, there is an internal
issue that needs to be resolved.
If the only reason why I dont murder people is because its against the law, there is a
heart issue.
If the only reason why I try to stay pure is because I must report to my accountability
partner/group, then there is a heart issue.

I must have an internal motivating factor that can keep me integrous at all times, regardless of
external pressure. If the only thing keeping me from lusting, watching porn, or masturbating is
the fact that I have to confess it and maybe disappoint a friend, then I am setting myself up to
fail when I am alone because the core issue has not been dealt with.
3.) Tools
Porn:
You can read a short version of my journey here, but this is an excerpt:
I dont remember exactly how it came about, but I got a Holy Spirit download.
God started showing me about the incredible worth of a woman. These pictures of
women, I realized, were also daughters of the King, made in His image, in His
likeness. I started meditating on the worth and the beauty that they carried, and it

hit me like a brick in the face. I had been treating daughters of the King as if they
were objects, for my personal lusts and satisfaction.
I got free from this by realizing that those women were not objects. They are people! God began
to show me their potential, who God had called them to be, and I began to see them through His
eyes.
As a result, I could no longer take pleasure in what I now saw as perversion. How could I do that
to a Kings daughter? I am royalty, how could I behave like that?
Masturbation (self-pleasure):
I started to get free from this when I was reminded that self-pleasure was another term for
masturbation. I realized that this was, in fact, an act of selfishness; it was all about me, me, me,
how I felt, what I wanted
One of the main reasons why many relationships fail is because most people get into
relationships for what they can receive rather than what they can give. They are in the
relationship more for themselves than for the other person. The outworking of love is humility
(love does not seek its own; 1 Cor 13), and the nature of love is to give (John 3:16).
With that in mind, I purposed to set myself up for an awesome marriage. I no longer wanted to
experience self-pleasure, I purposed to save that experience only for my wife. I realized that this
experience was not for myself alone, but it is supposed to be experienced with another to whom I
have given my life.
Lust:
I got the most freedom from when I finally realized what it meant to have someone become the
standard of beauty in my life
A few months ago, I was on my computer and then I saw a picture of a really good-looking
celebrity. I searched this ladys name on google and at the top of the results page there were
few pictures of her. I was gawking at her for a few seconds and then something clicked.
*Lightbulb*
It hit me so hard I realized that I was actively making this woman the standard of beauty in my
life. Whether it was her facial features or her body or anything else, I was unknowingly making
her the standard of beauty in my life.
When that revelation hit, I immediately stopped. I couldnt and didnt want to do that to my wife.
I finally understood what it meant to have my wife as the standard of beauty. Its not that these
other women arent attractive, Im just choosing to not have them be the standard of beauty.

If another woman holds the standard of beauty in my life, my wife will have to perform to win
my eyes, or she will feel jealous, or not good enough, or she will never feel like the apple of my
eye.
So, if I purpose to have her become the standard of beauty in my life, then she will always know
that my eyes are on her and not another.
If these tools do not help you, bring it to God. Figure out what those heart issues are so you can
ask God to show you the way out. What God showed me is working for me, so if what I share
doesnt help, figure out what works for you. Get vision!
How to stay free:
4.) Maintaining Vision
In pursuing freedom, there must be a distinct goal. The goal cannot be, to not watch porn or
to not masturbate. If the focus is on not sinning, you will reproduce what your focus is; you
will keep sinning.
You do not get free from habitual sin by focusing on the fact that youve messed up x-amount
of times. You get free by realizing the righteousness that has been given to you, and walking in
that righteousness (Eph 4:22-24).
It is not, Dont submit to the devil, and he will flee from you, it is, Submit to God. Resist the
devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7).
It is not, Dont walk in the flesh, and you will walk in the Spirit, it is, Walk in the Spirit, and
you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Gal 5:16).
The focus is on the doing, rather than not doing.
I am living in more freedom because I have a vision and a desire to give my wife a trophy, and
because I want her to know that she is the standard of beauty in my life. Those are the main
driving forces and motivations for me to live in freedom rather than not living in bondage.
I havent had an absolutely perfect track record since these revelations, but its pretty darn close
and a lot better than what I was stuck in before.
Now, if I get a thought to lust after a girl that walks by, I think, Too bad, shes not the standard
of beauty in my life, and my focus is now about my wife becoming the standard of beauty in my
life instead of ogling a girl because it makes me feel good.

If the thought to masturbate comes into my mind, I think, Nope, that pleasure is for my wife, I
am building the value of this trophy, so my focus is now about my wife and the trophy I want to
give her, instead of how I want to feel good.
If the thought to watch porn comes into my mind, I think, Nope, Im better than that, theyre
daughters made in the image of the King, so myfocus is now off of me, and my desire to please
myself, and now on honoring daughters made in the Kings image.
As I said in the beginning, part of overcoming temptation learning to take every thought
captive and casting down every argument that is contrary to the knowledge of God (2 Cor 10:45). You can choose which thoughts you will partner with. You can choose to partner with
temptation (thoughts) or Gods righteousness. You choose whether you lust or walk in purity.
It is a choice. You are empowered. Temptation is from an outside source. It is not you. You are
empowered. It is easier to choose what you are aware of. Allow your vision to be ingrained into
you so any option that is contrary to the vision becomes easier to ignore.
It is a lot easier to get-in-shape/work-out when you have a strong vision to be cut, ripped, toned,
without flab, compared to just saying, I dont want to be over-weight.
Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained Prov 29:18
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If you dont have a clear vision, you will consider different paths,
you will take bunny trails and allow yourself to be side-tracked; you will do things that will not
get you closer to your vision.
Since these revelations, the ONLY times that Ive goofed up are when I lost sight of my vision
for a moment. About a month ago, I came across a very attractive picture of a girl on facebook
(total stranger). I got carried away for about a minute lusting after her until realized what I was
doing and snapped out it.
I knew where I slipped I lost sight of my vision. So when I caught sight of my vision again,
lust seemed like such a stupid option. As a result, I gained more resolve to always stay on track
with my vision.
5.) Community

Surrounding yourself with like-minded people is one of the easiest ways to continually walk in
freedom/purity. Your community should not be the sole reason why you pursue freedom, but
they should help in maintaining your vision.
In our purity group, we do not solve each others problems. If people mess up, we edify them
and then ask powerful questions that lead to self-discovery and self-empowerment. If someone
messes up big-time, we do James 5.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may
be healed. James 5:16
We love them, remind them who they are [in Christ], and build them up. If they picked up any
condemnation we kick it out and affirm them
Any group that comes together to discuss these things requires a very high level of trust and
transparency. What happens in guys group stays in guys group. It is like a second family, a
brotherhood it is priceless.
Start one if there isnt one like it where youre at!

Go and sin no more! (If Jesus said this, that means you can actually do it. He wont command
you to do something He didnt empower you to do)
Enjoy your freedom. Freely you have received, freely give. Share away!
Be sure to message me and/or Dennis if you have more questions about purity or about starting a
purity group.
If youre a lady and you want a womans perspective, bug Laura/Sue to write an article or
message them with your questions =P.