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C: Oh, I think that he made them sit because he invited them to sit because theyre
therapists and theyre accustomed to having conversation sitting down. Tony is used to
making interventions standing up. Tony never sits. Rarely sits. And so he was doing
what was most comfortable for him and what he thought was more comfortable for them.
Dont you think?
MP: Yeah. I think so. I mean thats a great point.
C: Yeah.
MP: I think also whenever he has two people who have differences like he was from
another film (Inaudible) he likes to sit them face to face but they were kind of diagonal to
each other so it wasnt really a face to face in the beginning so I think youre right.
C: Yes. I have my I just gave a workshop and this weekend and I did a demonstration
with a married couple and Im doing that now more and more always having people stand
then face each other standing. But I I dont have to be, being a therapist myself, I dont
have to be so careful with these therapies but Tony wanted to be very respectful and have
them feel very comfortable.
MP: Great. Also Ill get back to the step five.
C: Yes.
MP: It was really the elevation strategy also. So when he took her fingers, he brought
her back up to the highest level of the relationship and brought her back to that. Right.
And so thats also in terms of the 7 Master Steps. Thats step five. So youre basically
helping the couple get resources and creative ways of solving the problems. So, while he
was taking her to the positive memories Sorry, I lost my thought here.
So, anyway, the intervention is starting towards what Michael has done and succeeding
which are Judys and so building on the success and things that he could do to make
things happen. And so thats creating and empowering alternatives. Thats step five.
Now, look at the couples defining challenge and theyve gone to the excitement of
scoring each other and breaking out of the pattern, things serious and sad. Its time to
create basically an experience of where they do succeed and this is where it is really
important not to just be talking. Its for to think emotionally also. So Tony basically
takes them through a second exercise which is developing presence of receptiveness.
And so he had seen this early on that the couple is depolarized and so this is kind of a bit
worrying that has been going all along. He has a process for this.
And so in order for us to go to his next exercise, Tony goes back to step three which is
define the real challenge. And so now he defined the challenge and Mikes ability to
inspire trust and not just the trust in the sense that he will betray Judy but that she can test
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