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Josette plank

Thursday, November 5, 2015 PENNLIVE.COM/LIVING B1

Please, keep
thoughts on
to yourself
I am done with having
babies. I popped out my
third and last baby almost
10 years ago, a few weeks
before my 40th birthday.
But eventhough my
youngest child is 9 years
old, I still remember what it
felt like to be pregnant.
The first three months
were horrible. The middle
three months were mostly
fine. But in the final three
months of pregnancy, a
womans body is doing odd
and astounding things
making gurgling noises and
springing awkward leaks,
swelling at the joints and
shrinking at the gums.
By the time I was eight
months pregnant, I was
big and tired and had lost
all sense of humor. I often
thought of kicking people
in the kneecaps for no good
I now have a friend who
is eight months pregnant. A
few days ago, my big, tired,
pregnant friend and I were
out walking and generally
minding our own beeswax
when a stranger approached
The stranger was a middle-aged woman like myself
(except not as fetchingly
lovely, lets be honest). She
came right up to my friend
and said, Wow, you look
like youre about to pop!
She said this not as the
opening to further conversation, but as a sort of
one-sided joke or a congenial critique.
My big, tired, pregnant
friend hauled off and kicked
the woman in her kneecap.
No, she did not do that.
My big, tired, pregnant
friend smiled politely and
explained that she had a
few more weeks of expansion before explosion.
The busybody lady
oblivious as to how close
she had come to being kneecapped returned a smug
look. Behind that faceshe
was clearly thinking, I
have special knowledge
concerning the state of your
uterus, and you, my poor
dear, are about to pop.
Immediately, I was
reminded of all the questionable comments people
made to me when I was big
and tired and unhumorously pregnant. And while its
rare to hear of a pregnant
lady smacking someone for
offering unwanted advice,
I thought Id offer a few
words of reverent caution.
Heres my brief list of
what not to say to abig,
tired, pregnant lady:
Look at you, youre pregnant!
Pregnant ladies have stretch
marks to remind them that they are
pregnant. Instead of being redundant,
try saying, Lets go get ice cream!
Many pregnant ladies love ice cream.

Photos by Dan Gleiter, PennLive

A model home by Liberation Tiny Homes at 648 East End Ave. in Lancaster is approximately 170 square feet and includes
another 60 square feet in the loft.


Cool spaces

By Jewel Wicker |

hen Lancaster resident James

Stoltzfus set out to build a tiny
home on wheels, he wasnt sure if
he and his wife, Rosemary, would live in it or
not. They decided they wouldnt live in it, but
James Stoltzfus design has since helped him
launch a company geared towardhelping others
gettiny homes of their own.

I actually just kind of built it for a fun project,

and it just sort of turned into something more, he
One year after its completion, the 230-squarefoot original home Stoltzfus built serves as a
model home for his company, Liberation Tiny
Stoltzfusconstruction background spans about
15 years and came in handy when he set out to
build thecool space in his spare time.
One ofthe most interesting features is in the
The hardwood floors serve as an inconspicuous
shower drain.Stoltzfus said there is a secondary
shower pan underneath the floor.
Most of the furniture serves a dual purpose,
The couch transforms into a double bed to
create more sleeping space. If storage space is
needed, all you have to do is lift the cushions.
In the kitchen, cabinets extend to the floor to
maximize space, and open box shelves give the
bedroom a modern feel while creating storage
space in lieu of a traditional closet.

Please see PLANK on Page B4

Top 13 concerts
to see in November
By Jewel Wicker |

1. Emery
Alt-rockers Emery
are known for their
music, but also for their
faith. They have spoken
openlyabout how their
Christian beliefs inspire
their work.They will be
joined by opening act The
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Details:6 p.m. Saturday at
Chameleon Club, 223 North
Water St., Lancaster. Cost:

2. Matthew West
While Emerys music is
inspired heavily by their
religion, they dont classify their art as
Christian Music. Christian adult contemporary
artistWest does. West has released six studio albums,
Please see CONCERTS on Back Page

Creating illusions of grandeur in a small space

1. Create zones: Breaking up a
long space into smaller, separate
areas makes your home seem bigger. Use furniture or rugs to define
rooms. Carve out a designated
entry area for keys and mail, a
comfortable spot for seating and a
functional work space.
2. Bring the focus up: Hang
artwork and curtains tall and wide.
Put curtain rods just below the ceiling. Install floor-to-ceiling shelves to
maximize storage without taking up
floor space. Stretching the surface
area of the walls creates the illusion
of height and space.
3. Paint, if youre allowed: Painting an accent wall or hallway creates

depth and dimension. Dont be afraid

of bold or dark colors; they give the
illusion of depth.
4. Light it up: Avoid using
overhead fluorescent lighting. Place
lamps and mirrors strategically
throughout your space to create
mood lighting and bounce natural
light around the room. Replace boring light fixtures with vintage finds.
5. Update your bathroom: Replace dated faucets and install a rain
shower head; stash the originals to
swap back when you move out. Consider building a screened radiator
cover to hide the bulky unit as well
as provide another surface.
The Washington Post

Please see SPACES on Page B4

Sex, violence could be bad for TV business

A study by the American Psychological
Association says viewers are less likely
to recall advertising content during
violent or sexually explicit programs.
By Sean Adams

Nielsen ratings show thatwhen

it comes to TV, the most popular
shows appeal to a mature audience.
Millions of viewers tuned in
to theseries finale of Breaking
Bad,and millions more forthis seasons Game of Thrones finale.
Programs such as The Big Bang
Theory, How to Get Away With
Murder, Scandal, The Blacklist
and Family Guy dominatedlast
years viewership on the broadcast
networks, according to Nielsen ratings. And while they dont have the
level of nudity, gore or brutalityas
their cable and premium cable counterparts, theres still plenty of sex
and violence.
Some would think, then, that

Amanda Berg, PennLive, 2015

Tim Winter, Parents Television

Council president, is trying to clean
up broadcast networks content.

Television Council. For him, cleaning up the broadcast networks content isnt just a moral crusade,its
also practical business for advertisers and networks.
We are a visually stimulated species, Winter said. That still hasnt
shut off. When you see something
sexually explicit, when you see
something violent, the chemical reaction in your brain is the same as it
has been for hundreds of thousands
of years.
That reaction, Winter said, means
that advertisers who are sponsoring
violent or sexually explicit programming are hurting their bottom line.

Study: Sex and violence decrease

advertising effectiveness

According to a study by the Amershows filled with sex and violence

would be the ideal target for adver- ican Psychological Association,
tisers.After all, more viewers is al- viewers are less likely to remember the content of the ads that aired
ways good, right?
That isnt the case, said Timothy
Please see TV on Page B4
Winter, president of the Parents