TheAbundantSingleLife

by
Joanna Jackson

P. O. Box 1099 Murfreesboro, Tennessee 37133

(800) 251-4100 (615) 893-6700 FAX (615) 848-6943
www.SwordoftheLord.com
Copyright 2012 by
Sword of the Lord Publishers
Distributed by Smashwords
Sample edition
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used or reproduced, stored in or introduced into a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (printed, written, photocopied, electronic,
audio or otherwise) without prior written permission of the publisher.
All Scripture quotations are from the King James Bible.

Dedication

(Photo taken by Andrae Michaels, 2012, used by permission.)

I wholeheartedly dedicate this book to my precious parents, Mick and Beverly Jackson, for always
supporting me, loving me, believing in me and pushing me to be all Christ meant for me to be! I love you
both more than life itself!

With Deepest Thanks

How thankful I am to my Saviour, Jesus Christ, for not only saving me but for making life here on
earth worth living!
Second, I am so appreciative of my pastor and his wife, Dan and Robin Parton. Their years of kind
love, guidance and patience as I grew as a single are what I needed to make it!
Third, I cannot thank my proofreaders enough for their careful diligence in this work. Miss Sarah
Glover, Miss Joan Lindish, Mrs. Jennie Morgan, Mrs. Julie Ribordy and Mrs. Linda Stubblefield all gave
of their lives to make sure this book was what it should be.
Additionally, I humbly thank the Sword of the Lord Publishers for seeing the worth in the publishing
of this work.
Finally, I am eternally grateful for my precious family and incredible church family for their love and
support of a single named Joanna Jackson. You each helped me to see value in being the one and only me.
I cherish each and every one of you!

Table of Contents
Foreword
Preface
1. Some Things Seem Impossible
2. I Want a Relationship!
3. MathGods Way
4. Someone Call Security!
5. Whats Your Focus?
6. Im Past My Prime
7. God Made a Mistake With Me
8. Independently Dependent
9. Where Do You Run?
10. Im Content but Not Satisfied
11. It Really Does Work!
12. Me Time
13. How Do You Measure Your Worth?
14. Whats My Purpose Now?
15. Why Is God Punishing Me?
16. Am I Missing Something?
17. I Shouldnt Have Thought That!
18. Let Go of the Rope
19. Everybody! Hands Up!
20. How Do I Stop the Hurt?
21. TrustIt Does a Soul Good!
22. Is God Really Still Good?
23. Getting to Know You
24. Tis the Season
25. The Flip Side of Fabulous
26. Its a Wrap!
27. Not Again!
28. I Want to Be a Dorcas!
29. Words Can Never Hurt Me?
30. Danger Zones!
31. Ill Stick Up for God!
32. From Our Hearts to Yours
Conclusion: The Abundant Single Life

Foreword

Rodgers and Hammerstein penned the words and music to How Do You Solve a Problem Like
Maria? In The Sound of Music, Maria was a young girl with whom no one knew just exactly what to do.
Sadly, this is somewhat descriptive of the many single young women in our Bible-believing churches
today.
While one missionary told me that he did not know what he would do without the single ladies in his
ministry, one pastor said that he would never support a single lady missionary. The pastors preach that
there is a place for everyone to serve the Lord, all the while relegating the singles to merely baking
cookies or delivering carnations to shut-ins and those bound by sickness or old age in hospitals or nursing
homes. While these activities are fine, in and of themselves, there is much more to serving the Lord and
living the Christian life to its fullest. Surely the Lord has more than these tasks in store for those without a
spouse!
Under the inspiration of the sweet Holy Spirit, David penned, God setteth the solitary in families
(Ps. 68:6). It might be interesting to note that the word translated solitary is found twelve times in the
Old Testament and carries with it a variety of similar meanings, though different one from another.
Among them are these two: unique and darling. In that it is actually God who has placed these solitary
ones in families, it undoubtedly means that He has a plan for these unique and darling individuals. They
may be single, but they are Gods precious treasures placed in this world with His purpose in mind. As
Ron Hamilton so aptly put it, God makes no mistakes. If, indeed, God makes no mistakes, why then are
singles often treated as though they are mistakes?
Often they are asked, When are you going to get married? Why arent you dating anyone?
Shouldnt you be married by now? Some would dare to say, I wonder whats wrong with her. These
questions and statements and others like them do nothing to encourage the single women in our churches
to reach their potential for God. Paul wrote, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto
good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them (Eph. 2:10). Everyone who
has ever been saved by grace through faith is Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good
works. If I read my Bible correctly, this includes singles as well as those who are married.
It seems that some believe that being married makes a person of more worth to the work of the Lord
and ultimately to the Lord Himself. This is simply not true! Apparently, every born-again individual was
worth Christs dying for. All of us are unworthy of even the least of Gods blessings, but the fact that
Jesus forgives us and saves us gives us worth. We must remember that He who knew no sin became sin
for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him (II Cor. 5:21). Im thinking that this
alone gives us worth, at least in Gods eyes. This worth must be recognized by someone besides God!
With these thoughts in mind, Joanna Jackson has Biblically and compassionately addressed these
issues and many others in this book, The Abundant Single Life. Abundant life is readily available for
every saved individual, not just married folks. That is the promise of the Saviour Himself, as written in
John 10:10: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. As you
read this book, you will be uplifted, inspired, challenged and blessed!
If you are a single woman looking for worth and purpose in a couples world, The Abundant Single
Life will help you to discover both without compromising Biblical convictions. If you are married, this
book will give you a new understanding of what being single is all about, with Gods plan and purpose in
mind. If you are a leader in any ministry, it will give you insight into how to Biblically deal with those
who struggle with being solitary in your work. Joanna Jackson has been single and never married. She

has learned the lessons contained herein and now wishes to share these lessons with other single Christian
ladies. Youll not be sorry for reading this bookno, not at all!
So how do you solve a problem like being single? As always, the answer is in the Word of God.
The Abundant Single Life is a fulfillment of II Corinthians 1:36.
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the
God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort
them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in
the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for
your consolation and salvation.
DAN PARTON
Pastor, Timberline Baptist Church
Manitou Springs, Colorado

Preface

While growing up, I loved to play with dolls, pretending to be their mommy. Being married and
having a family was always a part of my lifes plan, as was my serving the Lord. The opportunity to serve
the Lord did happen as I had prayed, but the husband and family did not. I was not prepared for the many
realities that being single brought my way.
In looking for some help with my needs as a Christian single lady, I found many sources; but I
discovered that few conservative resources were available. Because of this, I felt Gods leading me to
share some of the lessons I had learned. I am not claiming that I have all the answers, nor that I have
arrived in my single life. Rather, this book is meant to help those who would like a conservative source
for the single lifestyle that is often overlooked or ignored. Also, this book is to help those who want some
keys to the door of the abundant life that Jesus promised us in John 10:10:
...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
I have come to dearly love single people, and I have seen the difference they can make. I have
likewise seen and experienced some of the enormous struggles that a single faces in what is basically a
couples world. I wish I could have been more emotionally prepared for my journey. At times, it has been
very difficult; and, at times, I have felt defeated. Im glad to say that there is a victorious side to the single
life! I hope to share part of that victory with you. Although no two stories are identical, I ask you to look
deeply within these pages and see the answers for the areas that you, as an individual, may need.

Some Things Seem Impossible

Its fun watching a child learning to walk. At the beginning, he appears extremely wobbly. He often
falls, is easily tripped by obstacles and sometimes gets hurt, but the child continues to try to walk. The
stumbling slowly lessens, and the walking becomes more stable until hes finally mastered it. Does this
mean the child never wobbles again, never trips again, and never gets hurt again by falling? Not at all!
These hurtful times just become fewer and fewer. With that thought in mind, I would like to share the
following:
A dear friend of mine was sharing that she had been having an especially hard time regarding her
lifes circumstances. She related that she had finally come to the point where she accepted the fact that
Jesus was all she needed. When I heard her say that, I knew I couldnt say that I was at that point yet in
my life.
Once, while talking with another single lady, when I shared something that I had learned, she replied,
Im not there yet.
I have another friend whose personality is all-or-nothing when it comes to learning spiritual truths
and character lessons. She has come away from ladies meetings feeling discouraged because she knew
she couldnt do it all.
In each of these instances, the setting of goals is vital. After hearing my friend say Jesus was all she
needed, I made that a goal of mine. After another single lady said she wasnt there yet about a lesson I
had learned, I told her she didnt have to be there in that particular area. I shared that she just needed to
make it a goal. My all-or-nothing friend has learned to make one lesson a goal instead of throwing
away all the lessons because it seemed impossible to fulfill them all.
The same principle must be applied to the lessons in this book. In all honesty, what I have learned
has taken years to finally click with me, and each lesson has come in its own time. Just because youve
tried something before and it hasnt worked doesnt mean that its a bad principle. Just because it hasnt
worked so far doesnt mean that it wont work. It may just mean you need more time to be able to apply
it, or more time to grow, or both. May I encourage you to make a list of goals and focus on each one at a
time. To help you in doing so, I have included pages in the back of this book for you to list goals in areas
you would like to grow.
I have found there are times when I still struggle in an area in which I have already attained victory.
Then, I wonder why I have to relearn what I thought I had already grasped! I guess its a product of
human nature. I so look forward to the day when I will drop this earthly robe of flesh and no longer have
these struggles. Until then, Im not giving up on trying to grow in each area, no matter how many times I
must relearn a lesson!
Its not always easy for any of us singles, and, often, the lessons have to be learned time and again.
When you struggle, try to picture yourself as that child trying to learn to walk. As much as he struggles,
he continues to keep trying until he is successful. To you, Dear Reader, I say, please do not give up just
because some lessons may seem difficult to learn and to live. Behold, we count them happy which
endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very
pitiful, and of tender mercy (Jas. 5:11).
Yes, sometimes, it does feel like some things are impossible; but really, theyre not with the Lords
help even for a single! For with God nothing shall be impossible (Luke 1:37).

I Want a Relationship!
Companionship is a basic necessity, as proven by what the Bible says in Genesis 2:18: And the
LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. In
talking to some of the most independent women I know, I have found that they too want to have someone
with whom they can converse from their hearts and someone who can help to bear the everyday load of
life. For some, this desire is quite deep and extremely gripping. For others, it is a true desire but not allconsuming. No matter how strong the desire, it is still very real.
The ability to have many good relationships in life is often an intangible thing over which a person
has no control. For example, not everyone has wonderful parents. Not everyone has enjoyable siblings.
Not everyone has a sweet church family. Not everyone has the opportunity to meet special friends.
No matter what other kinds of relationships we have been privileged to have, only one is necessary.
At this time in my life, God has not granted me my desire to have a husband, but I do not need to be
without a true relationship. Neither do you! The reason is that everyone can have that one essential
relationshipwith Jesus Christ!
The Bible story about Mary and Martha is familiar to most Christians. Martha was busy serving the
Lord. Being busy serving the Lord is not bad, but believers must do what Jesus said was the one needful
thingto sit at His feet, as did Mary. Some people only sit at Jesus feet; others only serve. However,
Christians need to be doing both, and they must start with what Jesus deemed as the most important
sitting at His feet.
Once my friend Joan Lindish, a godly single woman, told me one of her morning rituals. She gets a
cup of coffee, sits in a chair in her living room, and says, Okay, Jesus, Im listening. She takes time
solely to be with Jesus while sipping her coffee. Although coffee is not my beverage of choice, I can take
time to be with Him.
Please note that being with Jesus is not only spending time with Him at the beginning of the day. We
need to communicate with Him all throughout the day. We additionally need to get to know His character,
His likes and dislikes, and His personality. Every Christian needs to get to know all about Him.
Some people view Jesus only as their Saviour; others view Him as their friend, their buddy, and their
companion. Why is that? It is not necessarily because one person is better than the other; rather, one has
chosen to go beyond the initial introduction.
My spiritual life was challenged years ago when I heard Dr. Jack Hyles say that he tells Jesus he
loves Him one hundred times a day. He explained that while he would sit alone at a hotel eating breakfast,
he would tell Jesus he loved Him with each bite of food. Oh, how my heart was challenged to tell Jesus I
love Him all throughout the day, not only in the morning or in the evening!
Look deeply inside your heart and life. Do you have an intimate relationship with Jesus? Is He the
Saviour of your soul only, or is He the Saviour and Lover of your heart? If you sincerely desire to live an
abundant single life, it is impossible to do so without a true relationship with Jesus.
Joan Lindish also wrote me a letter that touched me deeply regarding my relationship with the Lord.
I asked her permission to share some of what she wrote. Allow her thoughts to touch your heart as well.
Singleness can give us a depth of longing that acknowledges our need of Him. The blessing
is ours to embrace and cherish, knowing that we are loved in the fullest sense and accepted by
One Who enjoys our company very much.
When singles feel as if they are missing a piece in the puzzle of life, the missing piece is
more than likely a relationship with the God who made them. Few realize that what they are

searching for has been made so readily available to them in God who loves them. He is nearer
than anything else they pursued while seeking to satisfy their human needs. A sense of
belonging and being someone who is desired and loved by another is not unique to any of us.
Just maybe, God has kept you from being married because He wants to be your Spouse,
your Lover, the One whose company you would seek and enjoy. Just maybe, He wanted to be
the One in whom you would confide, the One you would talk about, brag on, and praise to
others. And just maybe, He has kept you from heartache.
Perhaps God is longing for you to love Him as He loves you. Have you ever wondered how
God felt when He had these words penned in His Holy Word, O Jerusalem, Jerusalem...how
often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under
her wings, and ye would not! (Matt. 23:37). Can you sense the loneliness and
disappointment God felt when He was forgotten or seemingly ignored? Perhaps God allowed
you to experience loneliness because He was lonely too. Just perhaps, He was lonely for you
and longed for your attention.
He needs to become the object of your affection. Perhaps as the day breaks, He listens for
you to say to Him, I love You. It should be the Bible you reach for in the morning to bathe
in His love, to enjoy the intimate companionship you find in Him. Just like you are reaching
out for love and acceptance, He too is reaching out to you for acceptance, love and
companionship. He longs to spend time with you, to share with Him the life He has given you,
and to listen as you brag on Him to others. He longs for you to give Him praise and
adoration, to tell others about Him, to embrace His wonderful creation, and to share the
wonders of His power with Him. He is altogether lovely (Song of Sol. 5:16).
Each person, married or single, who has freely decided to take Jesus Christ as Saviour can
enjoy a whole, precious relationship with the Father, regardless of what life affords him.
When we feel alone and forgotten, perhaps it is an opportunity for our Heavenly Father to
pursue us to get our attention. He who loves us the most is satisfied with even our least
acknowledgement of His presence.
Reading her words encouraged me to have a more intimate relationship with the Lord. Do you find
yourself crying out, I want a relationship? So does God! The God of the universe, the Saviour of the
world, wants a relationship with you! Will you allow Him one?
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