Original: In this case, Weng Sai Qin was unable to testify in the administrative proceedings before the BID because she left the country on February 6, 1993, or even before the administrative complaint against petitioner was instituted. Revised: Here, Weng Sai Qin was unable to testify in court because she left the country before the complaint against petitioner was instituted. (Records, p. 53)
B. Use Strong and Precise Verbs
Original: The petitioners and the private respondent are substantially in agreement concerning the facts as found by the Trial Court. Revised: Both parties agreed substantially concerning the facts as found by the Trial Court. (G.R. No. L-514450, February 10, 1989)
C. Turn -ion Words into Verbs
Original: Wherefore, it is respectfully prayed that after proper hearing, the defendant be adjudged guilty of contempt of court, and be committed to prison until he withdraws the application, or asks for the cancellation and revocation of any authority that might be granted him in case No. 48802 of the Public Service Commission. Revised: Wherefore, it is respectfully prayed that after proper hearing, the defendant
be adjudged guilty of contempt of court, and be committed to prison until he
withdraws the application, or asks any authority to be cancelled and revoked that might be granted him in case No. 48802 of the Public Service Commission. (G.R. No. L-46174, November 29, 1938)
D. Simplify wordy Phrases
Original: The plaintiffs-appellants rely on the survey plats of the claims of Albert Wright on the two mining claims, which plats were approved in 1907 by the Director of Lands and on a publication entitled "The Mineral Resources of the Philippine Islands for the Years 1921, 1922 and 1923" issued by the Division of Geology and Mines, Bureau of Mines, Manila, and which was printed in 1925 by the Bureau of Printing. Revised: The plaintiffs-appellants rely on the survey plats claim of Albert Wright on the two mining claims, which were approved in 1907 by the Director of Lands and on a publication entitled "The Mineral Resources of the Philippine Islands for the Years 1921, 1922 and 1923" issued by the Division of Geology and Mines, Bureau of Mines, Manila, and which was printed in 1925 by the Bureau of Printing. (G.R. No. L-18904, July 11, 1964)
E. Avoid Doublets and Triplets
Original: To permit parties to alter and modify their contracts as they please, and to hold the sureties answerable for the performance of such parts as were not altered, would be transferring their responsibility, without their consent, from one contract to another. Revised: To permit parties to modify their contracts as they please, and to hold the sureties answerable for the performance of such parts as were not altered, would be transferring their responsibility, without their consent, from one contract to another. (G.R. No. L-13307, February 3, 1919)
F. Make Everything You write speakable
Original: It is, however, here contended for the surety that the court erred in holding him liable for any part of the debtedness which is the basis of this action. Revised: However, it is contended here for the surety that the court erred in holdling him liable for any part of the debtedness which is the basis of this action. (G.R. No. L-13307, February 3, 1919)