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Instructors Manual
Brian Van Brunt

Western Kentucky University

PSYCHOLOGY FOR LIVING:

ADJUSTMENT, GROWTH, AND
BEHAVIOR TODAY
11th Edition

Steven J. Kirsh
State University of New York Geneseo

Karen Grover Duffy

State University of New York - Geneseo

Eastwood Atwater

Boston Columbus Indianapolis New York San Francisco Upper Saddle River
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2014, 2011, 2008 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of
the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.

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ISBN 10: 0205909477

ISBN 13: 9780205909476

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TEACHING AIDS
CHAPTER 1: SELF-DIRECTION IN A CHANGING WORLD
CHAPTER OVERVIEW
Rapid technological and social changes are having a strong impact on the kinds of relationships
people form. This new technology allows for more fluid relationships that are less constrained by
geographical borders and distances. Individuals now face a greater challenge of self-direction
than in the past. Taking charge of our lives means facing up to the importance of decision
making, taking calculated risks for the sake of growth, and assuming full responsibility for our
lives. It means thinking differently about the boundaries between work and home life and about
the implications of managing a larger volume of relationships and social connections. Individuals
are increasingly being asked to assess the needs and requirements of their environment, to
determine how their current behaviors and attitudes match with expectations, and work to
develop new and adaptive coping strategies. This new freedom, while invigorating and exciting,
can also create anxiety and worry as individuals carve out their own choices and adapt to an
ever-changing landscape.
LECTURE SUGGESTIONS
1. Living in the information age. Describe some of the consequences and implications of living
in an information-oriented society, such as the need for more education and high-tech skills and
the importance of computers at home and work. Point out the proliferation of careers that depend
largely on creating, processing, and distributing information. You might explore the futuristic
information pipeline combining cable TV, telephones, and computers that will soon allow people
to browse through store merchandise, order the latest Hollywood movies, read world news, and
request a wide variety of information services, all with the push of a button.
2. Societal change. Explore the consequences of putting a greater priority on one's personal
needs and growth than on social conformity. To what extent does this orientation awaken people
and energize them to do their best? What about the possible pitfalls, such as confusing the search
for fulfillment with selfishness? Some critics claim that the extension of personal entitlement
without a corresponding sense of responsibility in our society has raised our expectations so
much that they easily exceed our efforts to achieve them, generating frustration and
disappointment.
3. Why arent more people self-actualized? A familiar explanation is based on Maslows concept
of the hierarchy of needs, namely that only as ones lower needs are relatively satisfied do the
higher needs for self-actualization come into play. Yet Maslow gave many other reasons, such as
the emphasis placed on material success and security. Eventually, he explained that the lack of
self-actualization may be due to the basic struggle between growth-fostering and growthdiscouraging forces, such as the fear of the unfamiliar. Individuals must have an intense desire to
grow in order to offset apathy and resistance to growth.

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4. Three-phase cycle: Discuss the three-phase cycle of change. How individuals 1) realize things
are different than they were, 2) react to the change with adaptation or anxiety and discomfort; 3)
grow from reorganizing and altering their attitudes behaviors and values in response. Have class
members choose a particular event in their lives that matches this three-phase cycle. Examples
may include moving from high school to college, ending of a dating relationship, or moving to a
different area geographically or culturally. Focus on the process of how the students adapted to
the change. Consider having students give an example of where they adapted well and where
they struggled to adapt.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What changes can we expect in the job market as a result of the information age?
2. In what ways are individuals taking greater charge of their lives today?
3. How do the problems of other countries impact our society?
4. What are the effects of American individualism on our society and on international relations?
5. What are the positive aspects of personal freedom? What are some of the drawbacks?
6. How have social media and technology caused problems in the ways we communicate with
our peers? How have they improved our communications?
7. What are some of the traits we possess that remain relatively stable over time?
8. In discussing adaptation and change, what is the value of tradition and consistency both for
individuals and for a larger society?
CLASS ACTIVITIES
1. How our world has changed. Ask students to think of all the scientific and technological
advances that have occurred in American society since their birth, and list them for the class. Do
the same for all the social, cultural changes that have taken place during the same period. Then
discuss the impact of these changes on our livesboth positive and negative. How have these
changes affected the quality of our lives? What are some of the contributions and/or problems
that have resulted, either directly or indirectly, from the widespread use of television and
computers?
2. Your growth inventory. Ask students to take out an 8 x 11 sheet of paper and draw a vertical
line down the middle of the page. Have them label the left-hand column "Personal Strengths"
and the right-hand column "Shortcomings." Then ask them to jot down as many of their positive
qualities and features that need changing as they can think of in the appropriate columns. Since
most of us do not dwell enough on our assets and potentials, instruct the students to make the list
of positive qualities longer than the list of shortcomings. You might ask students to write a page
or so indicating their personal strengths as well as the particular shortcomings most in need of
improvement.
3. Universal human values. Ask students to develop a list of what they believe are universal
human values. Ask them to examine each value and analyze how each value relates to their
personal philosophy. Ask them to arrange the values in order of their importance to themselves.
You might also ask students to share their most important values and explain what makes them
so important.

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4. Social media. Ask the students to draw several equal-sized large circles on a piece of paper.
Have them group their relationship in these circles by the different ways they form relationships.
One may be social media sites. Another may be those people they text message with. Another
may be friends who live close to them. Discuss how these circles change over time. Ask them
how the circles cross and overlap. Talk about the various strengths and weaknesses of each type
of social network.
4. Suggestions for self-actualization. Divide the class into small groups of three to five students.
Then ask them to think of as many different suggestions as they can for actualizing their human
potential. Encourage them to use their imaginations, but also include some practical strategies,
such as the better use of time. Have someone in each group record the suggestions as they are
made. After 15 to 20 minutes, invite each group to share some of their suggestions with the rest
of the class.
EXERCISES
1. Social change. What two or three societal changes are having the greatest impact on your life
(e.g., changes in technology, the economy)? Write a page or so about how your life is affected by
these changes. For example, think about how a computer has altered your academic, business,
and personal life. Are most of the societal changes having a negative or positive impact on your
life? Are you coping with the changes appropriately? Are the changes helping you grow?
2. Change as a challenge or threat. Select some change that has occurred in your environment
recently, such as a new professor, a marital engagement, or layoffs at work. Then write a page or
so describing how you feel about this change, especially whether you see it as a challenge or a
threat and why.
3. Identify your level of interdependence. Identify at least one important aspect of your life, such
as a job, a friendship, or marriage. Then describe in a few paragraphs how much youre prepared
to give to this relationship and how much you expect in return. Are your expectations fair? If the
give and take is unbalanced, how do you think your expectations will affect your relationships?
4. How important is self-fulfillment to you? Think about what you do that is fulfilling. What are
your life goals? Are they generally other-centered or self-centered, and is this adaptive and
growth-oriented? What do you do to actively meet these goals?
5. Self-fulfillment and personal and social involvement. Select some area of your life that has
been very gratifying to you (an accomplishment, relationship, etc.) and describe the extent to
which your sense of fulfillment depended on involvement with others.
QUESTIONS FOR SELF REFLECTION
1. Are you more optimistic about your own personal future than that of our society or the world?
Sample Answer: I am more optimistic about my personal future. Despite the news that talks

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about a difficult job market for me in the future and some of the global conflict that is going on
around the world, I have been successful in learning that hard work pays off. I work hard on my
studies and have a plan for the future that I am very hopeful about reaching my goals.
I liked the part in the chapter that talked about taking calculated risk. There are no guarantees for
success other than trying your hardest to reach your goals and finding ways to overcome
obstacles that get in your way. Having an understanding that my future is connected to the larger
society and world is important, but in the end I think I am in charge of my own destiny and that
hard work and determination are the best tools for me to reach my goals.
2. Are you so concerned about keeping your options open that you may suffer from the inability
to make decisions? Are you too perfectionistic?
Sample Answer: There are certainly times where I get so caught up in doing something right that
I struggle in order to complete a project or paper on time. I notice this in some of my classes
where I set very high goals for myself in terms of both understanding the course material and
earning the best possible grade that I can. For me, I dont think Im too perfectionistic, but I do
have a drive that pushes me to do the best I can on each given assignment.
I do find it funny that I am always more reasonable and forgiving when trying to help my friends
reach the goals that they are struggling to reach. I think I would be better if I took my own advice
when it comes to make decisions and trying not to always find the perfect solution to things I am
trying to choose between.

3. How much control do you feel you have over your life? How much control do you think you
need? Are you a self-directed person?
Sample Answer: Right now, I dont feel like I have a whole lot of control over my life at all. I
have a set number of classes I have to take in order to do well in school. If I dont take all of
these classes now and do well, I will have setbacks in reaching my goals for graduation. Even
my free time is limited because I play sports and have to also work in time for practice, studying
and friends.
I think I am pretty self-directed when working towards my goals. I think the problem comes in
when I have to sacrifice the things I want to in order to finish the things I need to do. I need to
have the control (and maybe willpower) in order to reach the goals Ive set for myself. After
reading this chapter, I also have come to realize that I need to make sure I dont just see change
and challenge as a threat, but as a byproduct of the choices I make towards the things I want to
accomplish.

4. Would you agree that many of the ground rules in our society have changed from one century
to the next? How so?
Sample Answer: I think some things change and some things stay the same. Obviously, things

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like freedom of speech and not killing each other (at least in America) dont change very much
from one century to the next. However, the more subtle social rules like how we related to our
parents, how we raise our children, how we interact with our friends and work seem to have
shifted pretty strongly.
I also think there are things that change very drastically. An example might be how we see
homosexuality and gay marriage. There is no way these things would be seen even close to
normal even fifty years ago---let alone 100. So society often changes some ground rules in
order to reflect the social needs and development that occurs in a growing society.
5. Have you met people who act as if there are no rulesthat anything goes? What are such
people like?
Sample Answer: Its funny that you ask this question. You have described one of my closest
friends. Sometimes I watch how she makes decisions and I just wonder what might be going on
in her mind. She seems outside of the normal social rules and pressures of what is considered
right and wrong. She also seems to live her life without any sense of shame or regret. She just
does what she wants.
Ive seen this have a negative impact on some areas of her life. Her grades are definitely not as
good as they could be if she followed the rules and spent more time doing things that were
healthy for her. I imagine it must be fun for her to live life without feeling as constrained as other
people might feel, but I also wonder if that might get old for her after a while. It might be that
her wild and carefree days might come to an end and she will have to work harder to reach the
goals she wants to achieve.
6. How important are self-fulfillment values to you?
Sample Answer: Being self-fulfilled is important to me, but its not the most important thing to
me in my life. I like to have the feeling that I am reaching the goals I strive for like passing a
class with a certain grade, saving up for a new video game or sending time with friends that I
really like. These kind of things are important to me and I enjoy feeling fulfilled in my social,
physical and psychological life.
On the other hand, it is very important for me to live my life in a way that also has a sense of
service for others. As a religious person, this is one of the core values that I try to live my life. It
is important for me to give back to others, to be altruistic and to care about how other people
feel. I suppose since this is part of what I want from life and helps me feeling fulfilled, this is
another example of living my life in a self-fulfilled way.
7. Do you expect more out of life than your parents did?
Sample Answer: Thats a tricky question. My parents have been very successful in their careers
and have made a lot of money by choosing careers that are financially rewarding. I have never
had to go without when I wanted something and they have always provided for me and my
brother and sister.

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That being said, I think there are also ways to get different things out of life. Success can be
defined different ways. For example, while we never went without when it came to material
possessions, a nice house and lots of vacations there were times when I saw both of my parents
working much harder then they probably wanted to in order to give us the things we wanted. So I
supposed having free time and enjoying life instead of just being financially successful is another
way to get more out of life without following them in their busy career paths.
8. Can you remember a difficult time in your life and, in retrospect, realize it was a time of
growth?
Sample Answer: I remember back in high school I was trying to date a girl that I really liked and
she just wasnt that into me. I spent time talking to her, being a friend and hoping that she would
see it as something more. I put all of my time and effort into trying to change that friendship into
something more. When I finally asked her, she said she didnt like me that way.
At the time, I was devastated and overwhelmed. I thought I would never be with anyone like her.
When I look back on it now with some perspective, I can see that I what I was doing wasnt
really that healthy and I kind of was obsessed with her. Now I am in a relationship with someone
who is into me as much as I am into them. This is a much healthier way to be. I think I grew
from the past mistakes I made.
9. Would you agree that personal fulfillment is achieved mostly in and through our relationships
with others?
Sample Answer: I both agree and disagree. I think knowing who you are as a person is the most
important thing to establish a healthy view of self. If someone defines their own fulfillment on
their relationship with others, there is always the chance that they will be let down. Instead, I
think people need to know who they are and feel good about themselves without having to define
their fulfillment through others will be happier in the long haul.
On the other hand, you cant really be happy unless you have some kind of social connections
with those around you. Happiness depends on having some people to lean on, hang out with and
who have your back. If someone doesnt have any friends or relationships, I dont think they can
really know what kind of person they are. Its like living your life without any mirrors. You can
only truly see yourself in the reflection of other people.
10. What keeps you from self-actualizing?
Sample Answer: I think time is the one big thing that keeps me from self-actualizing right now. I
have so many competing things I have to do it becomes overwhelming to think about living a life
with a sense of balance while I am trying to juggle so many things. I have five classes Im trying
to do well in so I can eventually get into graduate school. I have to balance my time with friends,
family and the clubs and organizations I go to on a weekly basis.
I think when I am older; I will be able to live my life in a way that is more self-actualized. I will

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have achieved some of my goals and will be able to reflect more on the things Ive
accomplished. Right now, I have too many of my basic needs that are competing to be met.
When I have graduated college, gotten my degree and have a job, then I think it will be easier to
see myself as self-actualized.
MEDIA RESOURCES
1)

A Christmas Carol starring Alaistar Sim (1951) or the animated version of the movie
starring Jim Carrey (2009). Scrooge goes on a journey of self-redemption with the help
of three ghosts.

2)

Disney's the Kid (2000) starring with Bruce Willis. Russ is a 40-year-old image
consultant who is failing in his personal life. With the help of an 8-year-old boy, Russ
tackles issues from his childhood in or order to experience personal growth.

3)

Forrest Gump (1994) starring Tom Hanks, Gary Sinese, and Robin Wright. Over the
course of decades, Forrest, who is of below average intelligence, has a powerful influence
in the lives of those he meets, including his friends Jenny and Lieutenant Dan.

4)

Groundhog Day (1993), starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. What would you do
if you had to live the same day over and over again? Would you use the time for personal
gain or personal growth? Groundhog Day is a romantic comedy that addresses this very
issue.

5)

Schindlers List (1993) starring Liam Nielson, Ralph Fiennes, and Ben Kingsley. Oskar
Schindler is a man driving by greed. He drinks heavily, gambles, and womanizes. He
also becomes an unlikely hero during World War II as he risks everything trying to save
Jews from Nazi concentration camps.

FURTHER READINGS
Bucher, R. D. (2009). Diversity consciousness: Opening our minds to people, cultures and
opportunities. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. This is a readable book that i.ncorporates
current research and works by other authors to help the reader move to better understanding and
respect for diversity.
Lechner, F. J., & Boli, J. (Eds.). (2008). The globalization reader. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley &
Sons. This edited book is a comprehensible compendium of ideas on globalization. It turns a
complex and important topic into a thoughtful set of essays from various vantage points.
Johnson, D. W. (2009). Reaching out: Interpersonal effectiveness and self-actualization. Upper
Saddle River, NJ: Pearson. An expert on group behavior and interpersonal relationships
examines the relevancy of other people to the concept of self-actualization and vice versa.

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Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and wellbeing. New York: Free Press. Explains the importance of meaning and purpose, positive
emotions, relationships, and accomplishment to happiness and fulfillment.
Patterson, K. (2011). Change anything: The new science of personal success. New York:
Business Plus. Provides a new approach to how individuals can change their lives for the better.

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CHAPTER 2: THE PUZZLE OF CHILDHOOD
CHAPTER OVERVIEW
Those who study child development understand this period of adjustment and growth can be
explained from a variety of perspectives, each providing a limited view of how children grow,
think, feel, and interact. The biological perspective calls attention to the genetic factors that
influence our personal attributes, such as intelligence and sociability. The ecological perspective
focuses on four distinct but interrelated settings that influence childrens development: the
microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem. The psychodynamic view focuses on
how key elements in the environment shape the way children resolve various crises and conflicts,
such as trust versus mistrust and autonomy versus shame. The social learning perspective
emphasizes the importance of learning and environmental influences and the possibility of
modifying our behavior throughout our lives. Each approach to understanding childhood
development, adjustment, and growth contributes to our overall understanding of how children
develop their temperament, attachment to others, and their self-concept.
LECTURE SUGGESTIONS
1. The person-situation issue. Describe how each perspective contributes to our understanding of
this issue. For instance, the biological view emphasizes the importance of genetic, ecological,
and physical factors in our makeup, though these, in turn, depend on our interaction with the
environment, as described in the ecological perspective. Although the psychodynamic view
stresses the importance of a person acting out of character, so to speak, current thinkers are
paying more attention to the individuals relationship with his or her present circumstances. In
contrast, the social learning perspective emphasizes the primary importance of the environment
(situation), though the recent emphasis on cognitive psychology includes how the individual
perceives and reacts to the environment.
2. Birth order. Discuss the role birth order may have in terms of childhood development. Recent
research points to birth-order effects being more myth than fact. Help students understand the
thinking behind how birth order impacts development from a social-cognitive perspective. Refer
to the text box titled Do Birth Order Effects Really Exist?
3. Three developmental tasks. Focus students on the three developmental tasks and how each
task is influenced by the four perspectives outlined in the chapter. For instance, how
temperament and attachment are primarily influenced by biology, while self-concept is
influenced strongly by early caregiver relationships and the environment.
4. Parenting. Parenting style has a considerable influence on child development. Discuss parents
influence on attachment, which in turn affects a variety of cognitive, emotional and social
characteristics. Discuss the four parenting styles presented and how children raised in each of
those styles might develop. Finally, address physical punishment and its efficacy in child rearing.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

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1. How much of your own personality do you believe is determined by temperament? Or by
learning?
2. To what extent is our behavior motivated by unconscious needs and conflicts?
3. Do you agree that the way we interpret and react to events is often more important than the
events themselves?
4. How important is ones self-concept and self-esteem in the larger scheme of things?
5. How much of our behavior springs from free choice? How much is determined by our
circumstances?
6. Ask students to name at least one major contribution from each of the four perspectives to our
understanding of personal adjustment and growth.
7. How has the discipline practice of spanking and media violence shaped our society?
CLASS ACTIVITIES
1. Eriksons developmental tasks. Ask students to review Eriksons first five stages of
psychosocial development and to identify the developmental task that is characteristic of their
age group. Then each student is to discuss in a page or so how well he or she is coming to terms
with the positive and negative aspects of the appropriate developmental task. For instance, those
in their late teens and early twenties who are normally wrestling with the task of identity
achievement and its associated confusion might comment on areas of their identity with which
they are most concerned. These could include their career or marriage, how well they are
progressing, and the doubts they are experiencing.
2. Cognitive variables. Select a typical student problem, such as not doing well on an exam. Then
ask students to suggest different ways one could understand and respond to this situation.
Emphasize that how we perceive and respond to an event is more important than the event itself.
Thus, one student may make it a learning experience by going over her answers on the test and
getting suggestions for improvement. Another may prematurely conclude that the teacher is
unfair or that he cant do the work, will exert less effort, and will continue to do poorly.
3. Freuds view. Ask students to discuss what their thoughts and feelings are about Sigmund
Freuds approach. Have students list the stages in Freuds theory and identify relevant examples
from each stage that they have observed from their own life.
4. Videogame violence. Divide the class into two groups. One group will argue that there are
negative effects to videogame violence (i.e., exposure leading to aggressive behavior), while the
other group will argue there is no relationship between videogame violence and aggressive
behavior. Have each group prepare a ten-minute statement that outlines five clear statements to
support their main argument. Give each group five minutes to offer a rebuttal to the other group.
5. The Role of the Father. Based on the text box titled Recognizing the Importance of Fathers,
discuss the influence of fathers on childhood development. Are there activities and lessons that
are better taught by mothers? How do same-sex couples or single parents raising children impact
development?

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EXERCISES
1. Apply Eriksons stages to your childhood. Write approximately a page explaining how well
you mastered the appropriate developmental task for any of Eriksons stages while you were
growing up. If possible, comment on how your past development affects your current state of
well-being.
2. Identifying ecological influences. Think about the various ecological influences in your life.
Identify two examples for each system in the ecological environment.
3. Barriers to personal growth. Each of the four major perspectives covered in this chapter offers
a different view of the barriers to personal growth. The biological view reminds us of the
importance of heredity to our temperament, the ecological perspective highlights the importance
of the interrelated environments we face, the psychodynamic view stresses the cumulative effect
of the crises we face across development, and the social learning view emphasizes faulty models,
environments, and maladaptive behavior. Write a paragraph or so explaining how each of these
views may help to account for the barriers to your own personal growth.
4. What can you learn from watching violence on TV? According to the social-learning theory,
we learn by observing others. Watch a show containing real violence (such as that shown in the
evening news), realistic violence (e.g., a dramatic series), and cartoon violence (makes sure
its a funny cartoon). What did you learn about violence when watching each of these shows?
Write your experiences down so you can compare and contrast what you learned.
5. Which major perspective most reflects your views? Select one of the four major perspectives
that is most compatible with your own thoughts on adjustment and development. Then write a
page or so explaining why you prefer this viewpoint. To what extent are you receptive to
viewpoints different from your own? Would you agree that no one perspective possesses the
whole truth?
QUESTIONS FOR SELF-REFLECTION
1. Why is it important to take a perspective approach to the study of development?
Sample Answer: I think it helps to have a perspective approach because we know that there are
so many different factors that influence an individuals sense of development. It is not just a
biological process by which an individual matures, but one that involves multiple perspectives.
To offer a practical example, I am the product of not only my biology, but also my upbringing.
My teachers, church, friends and society as a whole have influenced the person I am today. To
assume that I am who I am because of a single developmental factor would neglect the broader
diversity of the influences on my life.

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2. Given what you now know about development, do Americas children stand a reasonably
good chance of being happy and well adjusted?
Sample Answer: I believe each generation in America has done better than the previous
generation. While it may not be perfect, I believe the way children are raised today creates a
number of opportunities for them to be happy and well-adjusted. There have been amazing
improvements in schools, medical care, and protective factors placed by society to ensure a
successful development for todays children.
I believe a large factor in this is related to parents being better educated about the developmental
needs of children. By educating parents, the knowledge of how to raise children well is passed
onto the children. While things arent perfect and there will also be gaps in knowledge, I believe
Americas children have a reasonably good change at being both happy and better adjusted than
previous generations.
3. Are there personal characteristics that seem to run in your family tree?
Sample Answer: I would say that there are. We have always been a family that had put a
premium on working hard to obtain the things we went. This has been driving force in my family
that I can trace back to my grandparents creating a chain of restaurants in New York City prior to
the great depression.
I also see a potential for the males in my family tree to tend towards slightly more aggressive
methods to resolve conflicts and arguments. They tend to be more forceful in their interactions
with authority figures and tend towards yelling when they dont have things go their way. I
wonder how much of this is a biological developmental process within my family and how much
is more related to how we were raised.
4. Do you agree with Erikson that across development we are faced with specific crises?
Sample Answer: I do think there are specific crisis that we encountered throughout our lives and
that part of being a happy and well-adjusted person requires that we meet these crisis events and
work to resolve the two sides of the coin in front of us. This may require some sacrifice and
difficult times of argument as we try to find a middle ground and balance.
Im not sure the stages are as clearly laid out in Ericksons model as I have experienced in my
life. I wonder if some of the crisis points we face are different given things like gender, ethnicity
and our upbringing. I do think each person goes through a series of developmental challenges,
however Im not so sure they are exactly as how Erickson lays out in his theory.
5. How do you feel about Freuds psychosexual stages of development? Are they realistic?
Sample Answer: Ive heard about these stages even before I took this class. They have always
seemed kind of contrived to me. I have a hard time believing that people are either well adjusted
or they arent because of when they were toilet trained or how they learned to stop sucking there
thumb.

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I do think Freud was onto something about how we view marriage and our relationships. For me,
I think I am dating someone who has some very similar traits to my mother. Im not sure that this
translates to me having some kind of weird complex against my father or anything, but I do think
we learn who we want to be with from the early relationships we have with out parents.
6. Why is attachment in infancy important to relationships later in life?
Sample Answer: From the book, Ive learned that these early connections are important because
they create some stability for the rest of our lives. I think when people have a chance to be raised
in a way where things are consistent and stable; they learn something about how the world
works. I think this helps us understand that the world is a safe place and gives us some
permission to explore without worrying so much.
I think the opposite is true as well. If you were raised in a way that didnt provide you safety or a
sense that tomorrow will be the same as today, then I think that may lead to struggles with how a
person sees the world for the rest of their lives. They may learn that people shouldnt be trusted
or that you should just take what is in front of you because there is no promise that it will be
there in the future.

7. Have you experienced birth-order effects? What might account for differences between
siblings, other than the order that they were born?
Sample Answer: I totally have experienced birth order effects in my life. I am the older brother
and have one younger brother. When I went away to college, I know it was really hard for my
younger brother. We didnt always get along well with our parents and I feel like he thinks I
abandoned him when I went away to school. I think some of that was always being the little
brother looking up to me for answers.
I also think the kind of things I like to study like psychology is different than the sports he likes
to play. I think we each have found our own special place to excel and some of that has to do
with our birth order. However, as I learned in reading this chapter, I do think some of this could
be related to our different gifts like intelligence and genetics.
8. Do you think that if caregivers knew more about adjustment and child development, the world
would be a different place? How so?
Sample Answer: I think it could really help if people who were caring for younger children
especially had a better understanding of how they see the world. There are times when I see
people watching their kids or other peoples kids and they seem to expect so much more from the
little kid then I think they are capable of giving.
For example, I saw a little kid who must have been like two at the store the other day. The
parents were yelling at him for reaching for stuff on the shelves. I think that is pretty normal for a
two year old to be curious about all those different colored packages and stuff. I also think hitting

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