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✽L❊❘❖❏❙G❙◗M❘❑✏❙❍M❍LIM❑LLM❘❑✆
Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail!
Dedicated to the proposition that all men and women were not created equal as the dullards come in all shape, form & color.
First Time Rail Reader? Great! We luv when that happens! From our ‘10 Winter Staff, The Supreme Masters of
“Money’s Worth” Relaxed Living of the World, We’d Like to welcome Y’all to our little neighborhood..,
❼✼❙L✸❏✽LI✫❙❊❍❼
Welcome Folks.., to one of the Low Country’s finest hours. If you don’t find something inside that moves you,
there’s a very good chance that you may be dead. Otherwise, we’d like to welcome the good folks of..,
Hilton Head, B’Town, Daufuskie, Moss Creek, Buckingham, Heritage Lakes, Colleton River, Sawmill Forest, Westbury park,
Woodbridge, The Farm, Lake Linden and now Pineridge. Welcome, you’ve got Rail! – Rail staff 2010 –
April-2010 Rail’s
Recovering Liberal’s Blog InSide:
✱❊❚❚✫ML❍❊✬❊❚MG❙❘ April-2010-Spring Kick
✼❚❚❙
PO Bx 6233, HHI-29938 a pact or agreement to end hostilities
between those who have been at war or
in a state of enmity, and a freedom from
❂❙✵❙G❊P
E:mail: disquieting oppressive thoughts. We as
railtrail@hargray.com a Nation have placed upon the nations
✶MGM❊❘
of Islam an unfair injustice which is
843-842 5156 WHY my Wife disrespects the Flag and
she and I have attended several flag
burning ceremonies in the past". BHO
✲➠❊PP❊❋❙ The Scheme Of Things
❀❊✭❙❘✼❙L❙❏✽LI✸P➠✫❙❊❍✻MI
Besides illustrating the ideal of the
It is a dream, a myth, and a rule of law -- in which everyone,
On All Political and Social Fronts its ...., fiction to believe that gov- regardless of wealth, rank, and posi-
ernment gives you wealth tion, is equally constrained from
Vituperative Outrage! out of its own productive
bounty. Governments don't
infringing the rights of others -- this lit-
tle parable shows the inconsistency of
and charismatic leaders, it is more produce wealth; they only believing that private citizens should
important than ever to look at the respect private property, but govern-
take it and redistribute it,
“Town” In Tatters actual track records of those brilliant ment leaders need not. Q: IS that
By Roger Franklin. and charismatic leaders. “HHI is the poster child for over-devel- which is personally immoral politically
As is obvious in Congress today, opment gone wild.” Truer words were moral? Apparently, the answer is yes.
So, here we go with the “vision” thing what’s become glaringly apparent never spoken. And what did Maybe what we're dealing with is
again. Local leaders have declared a locally is that neither the “Town” nor Councilman John Safay have to say in mob psychology. Perhaps it's rational-
panel of visionaries (pg 14) will lead the Chamber has a clue as to what our defense? “Where else is Wal-Mart ization. "It's for a worthy cause," we
us all into a prosperous future and the will lead us into a prosperous future. not viewable from the road”. Wow. tell ourselves, oblivious to the fact that
report is due in June sometime. They’re simply experimenting with our The communist principle is simple. the Eighth Commandment doesn't say
Recognizing that the Island is near money. But while they have no track "take from each according to his abili- "Thou shalt not steal ... except by
build-out, the Mayor has selected a record to point to, none, they’re ty, and give to each according to his majority vote." Governments don't
developer to chair the visionaries.(?) expecting us trust them to do what’s need." But for an “individual” to take produce wealth; they only take it and
David Ames was quoted as saying, "I effective. Truly an outrageous matter. from another is called theft. Hmmm, if redistribute it, substituting the political
think that the mayor and the Town the Government can do it then why judgment of the few (the governing
Council ... recognize the need to con- Alternative MO’s can’t we all do it? The answer is, “the elite) for the economic verdict of
sider how to keep the island vibrant However, we have a proposal that Rule of Law” is a myth. everyone acting in free markets.
and prosperous." (A stunning state- some will deem daft but to this writer Decades ago, the oldest free-mar- Today, on Nat’l and local levels, the
ment to say the least.) “Recognize the at least, no more insane than expect- ket think tank, The Foundation for Governments in this Country are tak-
need”? Where do these gurus come ing “us” to trust “them”. Economic Education, Inc., published ing it on a historical scale.
from? Our Mayor has a vision that FIrst, get rid of Wal-Mart. Tear it Lewis Love's short parable, "A King of
after he ordains the inevitable sales down, plant azaleas and let the whole Long Ago." In the story, an artisan, a Global Economy
tax increase, the visionaries will have world know that this is the first step in mason, and a lame beggar petition
their king for aid. The artisan can't
Faux Pas
more of a budget to assists the vision- getting us all to a more properous It’s coming undone. The economy
aries with their visions. Incredible. future. What was it that the National attract enough customers, the mason of every Country on the planet is
In an age when facts seem to carry Geographic Traveler had to say about isn't getting hired very often, and the crumbling and isolationism is clearly
less weight than the visions of brilliant the Island a few years back? That beggar isn't receiving sufficient alms. making a come-back. We think its a
They implore the king to correct this bright spot. Think about this. The rash
unsatisfactory state of affairs. The of recalls on Chinese products has
king commands that each petitioner been in the news for years now. More
be given a sword and authorizes them recently, Japanese products have
to "go forth in the land and compel been under heavy fire and at a time
those who will not voluntarily deal with when American auto makers are tak-
them." "No! No!" the three men ing it on the chin. We think more than
demur. "We are men of honor and a coincidence. Our theory is that the
could not set upon our fellow man to powers that be, whether the Fed, the
compel him to do our will. It is you, O Illuminati, the Jewish Bankers or who-
King, who must use the power." ever, are conspiring to protect the
"You ask me to do that which you wealthy American elite and the “recall”
would not do because of honor?" scheme is being facilitated. We like
questioned the king. "I, too, am an this conspiracy. It sounds like capi-
honorable man, and that which is dis- tolism. Call me crazy, but think about
honorable for you will never be less it anyway. rf
dishonorable for your king."
Never underestimate
Rail Trail#7
DemSpin the power of stupid
Slight of Hand
6 Pack people in large
groups
Holy Molé folks, how uncomplicated
is it when the tax payers have no say
in where the tax consumers spend the
money? Uncle Sam doesn’t generate
any income, not a dime, but most tend own power and longevity in office.
to think its OK that entitlements are Dire alarms and heady crusades are Magicians have long
his call. That old saying comes to among the many distractions of our
mind: When Peter is being robbed to attention from the ever-increasing known that distract-
pay Paul, you can always depend on ways that government finds to take
the support of Paul. away more of our money and more of
ing an audience is the
For too long we have been compla-
cent about the workings of Congress.
our freedom to spend it as we please.
Magicians have long known that dis-
key to creating the
Many citizens had no idea that (1)
Congress members could retire with
tracting an audience is the key to cre- illusion of magic. It is by the same laws they come up with
ating the illusion of magic. It is also for us. Illustrious editor Franklin
the same pay after only one term; (2) the key to political magic. also the key to passed along an email that’s circulat-
that they didn't pay into Social
Security; and (3) that they specifically
Hate Card political magic. ing and its going to stir even more dis-
content.
exempted themselves from many of
the laws they have passed (such as Players as getting people to resent and, if nec- Proposed 28th Amendment to the
essary, hate each other. Politicians United States Constitution:
being exempt from fear of prosecution
What was the red hot hurry for the have used this divide and conquere "Congress shall make no law that
for sexual harassment. Congress's
immediate need for healthcare reform trick for years but just lately, its been applies to the citizens of the United
latest game is to exempt themselves
when it won’t go into effect for three turned around and its them that are States that does not apply equally to
from the Healthcare Reform Bill.
years? Alarms ranging from “overpop- the subject of hate. Little Joe is the Senators and Representatives;
Somehow, this doesn't seem logical.
ulation” to “global warming” and cru- stunned. Maybe Glen Beck is right and Congress shall make no law that
We now have an elite that is above
sades ranging from “affordable hous- about America finally waking up? applies to the Senators and Reps that
the law.
ing” to “gay marriage” and “universal I truly don't care if members of does not apply equally to the citizens
If eternal vigilance is the price of
health care” have been among the Congress are Democrat, Republican, of the United States."
freedom, incessant distractions are
distractions of political magicians. But independent, liberal, conservative, This is fair folks, to the point and
the way that politicians take away our
few distractions have had such a long progressive or whatever. But I hate non-partisan. Who could be against
freedoms, in order to enhance their
and impressive political track record the politician that doesn’t have to go it? A. Congress.
US’ Baddest Notice:
Banks HH Rugby Seeks
Forrester's annual Customer Individuals interested in
Advocacy rankings ranks nearly 50 trying-out for 2011 HH
US financial services firms in the US
by the percentage of customers who
Rugby Team should contact
agree "my financial provider does “Irish” Murphy @ 842 3448.
what's best for me."
The financial services firms that
rated lowest on the answer to that
question are, in order:
• HSBC potentially program a phone to eaves-
drop on a meeting, track an owner's
• Citibank travels, or rapidly drain its battery to
• Fifth Third Bank render the phone useless. Computer
scientists from Rutgers recently
• TD/Commerce demonstrated these problems and
• Capital One say they could occur without the
• Chase owner even being aware of what hap-
pened.
• Bank of America "Smart phones are essentially
HSBC fared the worst of all, with becoming regular computers," says
only 16 percent of its customers Vinod Ganapathy, assistant professor
agreeing with the statement. Forrester of computer science in Rutgers'
said it was the lowest customer advo- School of Arts and Sciences. "They
cacy score ever recorded run the same class of operating sys-
tems as desktop and laptop comput-
HH Gators
Rail Trail #11
Grins: Go Granny Go
Defense Attorney: Will you
please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell
us, in your own words, what hap-
pened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sit-
ting there in my swing on my
front porch on a warm spring
evening, when a young man
comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: What hap-
pened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub
my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you try to
stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop
him.
Defense Attorney: What hap-
pened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub
my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop
him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop
him.
Defense Attorney: What hap-
pened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I
was feeling so 'spicy' that I just
laid down and told him 'Take me,
young man. Take me now!'
Defense Attorney: Did he take
you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just
yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's
when I shot him, the little bas-
tard. Snic snic!
REEL FLIX
By Sara Simms, HHI
COMING THIS MONTH: PG-13 (For sexual content
Never before has love seen
including references, some
By Sarah Simms a courtship where a wild
crude material and language.)
Release Date: April 23, 2010 night of sex involves three
Death At A SYNOPSIS: in a bed – Stan, Zoe and the
The Back-Up Plan is a come- ever-present massive
Funeral dy that explores courtship, love, pregnancy pillow.
Starring:Starring: Chris marriage and family in reverse.
Rock,Tracy Morgan, Martin After years of dating, Zoe signs of pregnancy becomes a
Lawrence, Loretta Devine, (Jennifer Lopez) has decided comedy of errors for Zoe and
cadavers and indecent expo- waiting for the right one is taking creates confusing signals for
Danny Glover, Regina Hall, sure. While the original was set
James Marsden, Zoe Saldana, too long. Determined to become Stan. When Zoe nervously
in Britain, the new film will take a mother, she commits to a reveals the reason for her
Columbus Short place in an urban American set-
Director: Neil LaBute • Comedy plan, makes an appointment unpredictable behavior, Stan
ting. and decides to go it alone. On commits fully and says he’s in.
/ DramaRating: NR
Release Date: April 16, 2010 Backup Plan the day of her artificial insemi- Never before has love seen a
nation, Zoe meets Stan (Alex courtship where a wild night of
Starring: Jen Lopez, Alex
SYNOPSIS: A re-imagining of O’Loughlin) – a man with real sex involves three in a bed –
O'Loughlin, Eric Olsen
Death at a Funeral, the 2007 possibilities. Stan, Zoe and the ever-present
Director: Alan Poul • Genre:
MGM comedy directed by Frank Trying to nurture a budding massive pregnancy pillow. Or,
Comedy / Romance • Rating:
Oz. The plan is to make an relationship and hide the early where date night consists of
ensemble comedy about a being the focal point at a near-
Quick-Takes: stranger’s water birth which
funeral ceremony that leads to Simms sez..,
the digging up of shocking fami- does for kiddie pools what Jaws
ly secrets, as well as misplaced • See It • Go For The Ride • Take A Hike • Get Out’a Town did for swimming in the ocean.
Classic Film Quotes: from Camden High School in 1960,
✻I◗I◗❋I
from school I was supposed to prac- the playing of higher-pitched pas- the U.S. and a CD soon to be
tice, then he would listen while he was sages at a more comfortable position. released.
❀LI❘#
eating his dinner. It was an unwritten At the age of age 17, he began play- After all this and " Something More",
law that I had to play it right or hear ing with Gene Ammons and Sonny the logical question for Buster is, "
about it. I was going to be the best. I Stitt, just one month after graduating What's next "?
✭❊❖ ❀M❘I✖✔✕✔✼❙L❙❏✽LI❙P➠✫❙❊❍✻MI
By Cork James
✼❚❙
tions this small Irish themed pub has
“Here comes th’ sun regained much of the Park Plaza reg-
doot’n doo-doo ular walkabout clientele once enjoyed
by the former Tavern on the Park.
Here comes th’ sun an Keeping a consistent live music
I say, its awrite” schedule Thu-Sat there co-owner
Dave Borasky and GM Al Notte are
LocalBars
Located via 278 Mile Markers
Traditionally, a genuine Island local
bar was characterized by peaked bot-
tom lines during the off-months and
reflecting the year's slowest as May
thru August. However this year’s
recession atmosphere had most post-
ing yet weaker #’s and as many long- blks w/eyes (R).
time residents tend to stay closer to Callahan’s Featuring a money’s
the house during the warm months cit- worth median priced lunch and brisk
ing the crowds, the traffic, awful driv- 4-7pm happy hour Callahan’s casual
ers etc. this WInter’s local bar com dinner offerings ranging from $6 to
petitions may be the stiffest ever with $10 and post midnight burgers and
a handful chooseing to cut loses by finger food makes this long-time
closing their doors. local’s destination one of the most
popular year’round.
The Drydock celebrated it’s 16 Pass MM #10 & left
annual January B-Day jam to a on New Orleans
packed house. Hat tips! NFL Doings and 1/2 mile w/
and the home away from home for eye’s left.
many NY Yankee fans is evident. The
Dock’s frugal minded lunch and
Sunday BBQ’s will run throughout the Adult
Winter there and regular live music is
offered. Take 278 to Seapine's circle
and 3/4's around to Pope Avenue
Local hangs continue to feature the best of as tight money has the more accom-
plished musicians and entertainers in financial reach. The Lodge at Hilton Head
Doin’s
and R @ the CVS and straight Plaza and Remy’s and Island Bistro at Heritage Plaza both have regular live
Thee Diamond Club has been an
around to the 2nd driveway on the music scheduled throughout the warm season and accentuated by nightly steal-
deal offerings the Spring months are already showing signs of good numbers. integral part of the nightlife of Hilton
left. Head Island for the past six years and
As the N-end’s latest The Zone as the only competitor in adult nightlife
music on Fri&Sats there accentuated Hinchey's Chi Bar is one of the
located at Beach and Tennis is one of re. Club Paradise closeddoors perma-
by a full median priced menu and South-end working local's fave wee
a handful doing steady numbers along nently in July TDC is once again the
steal-deal happy hour daily. From any hour destinations featuring the real
w/the heavy boosts from the new only game in town. The beautiful
approach take the SeaPines circle music from around midnight on Thur
Shoreline’s concert nights is combin- women that this popular adult gentle-
to Greenwood Drive to the 1st and Sunday nights there. Take
ing for some of the better local bar man’s club attracts have wowed any-
street and L to 2nd Park Plaza Seapines circle to Pope Ave, go to
numbers Island-wide. Happy Hour one who is an island native or a fre-
entrance w/eyes straight ahead. the end re. Coligny Circle and 3/4's
offerings 4-8 as well as 10-2am fea- quent yearly visitor. All of these beau-
While The Lodge was initially for- around with an immediate right at
tures $1.50 house drafts, $2.00 Rum tiful women are dancing all night for
matted and generally most frequented the first drive for convenient under-
and Vodkas, and daily 1/2 price appe- your pleasure and enjoyment. The
during the off-season’s cooler months ground parking.
tizers running daily from 4-8pm there. gowns are stunning. These ladies
this cozy Barmuda Triangle nightlife The Frosty Frog now in a 7th year
Go 278 from either direction and know how to dress to impress. They
destination has over the past few has recently reached local bar status
take the turn @ Folly Field Rd-3 all know how to treat a gentleman.
years acquired such a substantial reg- and much like the Earl’s annual
blocks to Beach & Tennis & (R) Have a drink with a southern belle or
ular clientele base that year’round Summer/Tourista to off-season/locals
w/eyes (L) an exotic princess.
local bar status has become apparent. transition caters to a mid-aged group
Remy’s has no doubt reestablished Located on Dunnagan’s Alley @
From any ap-proach take the Sea early and the 21-25 set post midnight
itself and long time Islanders are tak- Palmetto Bay near the Seapines
Pines circle to Greenwood Dr to there.Take SP circle down Pope
ing to the new diggs very well. Circle. Say hey to John Laney & Mom.
first (L) w/eyes (R) w/entrance Ave and (L) on Lagoon & (R) @ 3rd
Maintaining consistency from the
behind Reilley’s-S. driveway. Eyes straight ahead OK
meat and 3 lunch offering, a $5 happy
The Wild Wing Cafe continues to for parking@ Nash Drugs after 7p.
hour menu offering and regularly
be one of the S-end’s hotter local While Aunt Chilada’s long time
scheduled live music Tues-Saturday
spots featuring live entertainment year’round gathering gets interrupted
nights there.
Wed-Fri-Sat & Sun accentuated by during the warm season this bar nev-
From the seapines circle take Pope
the Island’s most frugal minded menu, ertheless has a loyal patronage
ave & go (L)@ lagoon Rd. w/a quick
-never a cover-. 278 to Seapine's cir- envied by most Irish and Sport’s bar
(L) @ 1st drive past the bike shop
cle and 3/4's around to Pope formats due to the 4-7 happy hour and
to the end with eye’s straight
Avenue, go half mile to circle cen- all the action taking place during NFL
ahead.
ter complex w/ eyes R. Say hello to and MLB seasons. Take SP circle to
Park Plaza’s Tavern On The Park
Brian Corey behind the bar there. Pope Ave and U-turn @ Lagoon & 2
is now Kanaley’s and features live
✬❙❘GI❼✼L❙❼✳❊◗
Kavanaugh
Thur Nights
@ Hinchey’s @ 12
✽❊❑I ✽LI✫❊❘❍
Kingfisher on
Wed-6:30-10pm
✪❚MP✖❘❍✑✗❍ Thu-Fri-Sat 8-12:30 @ The
Mezzaluna
✽LI✳❊✬❙❘I
✜✡✢✣✗✔❚◗ Mondays- Hebrew
Brother
Mose Alternating Thur Nights
w/Earl @ The Jazz Corner
Wed- PATWA
Allison
Friday-
BEAGLES Dinner@8
Saturday- Jack Jones
plays Buffett for dinner
with Jessie Watkins
@10pm
Big Bamboo
HHI
Wingo
Jessie Watkins- Sats @ solo’s Thursdays @ The
KingFisher @8pm
The Brick Oven
April
@ The
Wild Wing
Hilton Head, SC
3rd- Villanova
4th- Tokyo Joe
5th- McFly ✽LI✪PPM❑❊❙✰MPPI ✩✜❚◗
6th- Silicone Sister
✭MMIP❊❘❍✳❊ 10th- Skinny
jams the last Sunday of every
11th- Hooked On Tonics
month @ Jazz Corner 2-5pm.
12th- Corey Cup After Party
FREE *possibles- Cravin Melon Or
Live Bait
17th- Deas Guyz
18th- Moonshine Jenny
19th- Fernando
24th- The Design formerly
Sugar
25th- Sun Domingo
26th- The Gullah Roots
B’Town
Deas Guys 5th- Tokyo Joe
Sundays nights this 12th- Sun Domingo
month 19th- The Unmentionables
@ The Jazz Corner-HHi 26th- Silicone Sister
The
Beagles
Friday @ 7
The Big Bamboo