HOW TO DEAL WITH A SELF-RIGHTEOUS KNOW-IT-ALL

(NaturalNews) A self-righteous person enthusiastically oozes the following attributes:

His opinions are correct, just because he is the source.

OTHERS' OPINIONS ARE SUSPECT - especially when those perspectives are well informed,
because the self-righteous one is not the source.

SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE are most interested in THEMSELVES and only interested in others to
the degree that others support their image of rightness.

When a self-righteous person is truly out ranked, out smarted, or out classed, he usually shuts down
and doesn't know what to do. It's as if there were no inner program with an option that allows for
someone else to be better, smarter or have greater credibility.

THE CRAZY-MAKING TRUTH ABOUT SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

Self-righteous people are the ones most likely to view others as self-righteous.
So, the first thing to do when you perceive someone else as self-righteous is to look in the mirror.
You can be certain that you are NOT self-righteously accusing someone else of self-righteousness if:
Regardless of their attitude, you recognize and appreciate when they have a good point.
You see them as a person with an issue, rather than a walking, talking annoyance to humankind (a
convenient object of blame).
You can successfully ignore their self-righteousness and focus on the task at hand.
If you cannot let go of your own self-righteousness toward the self-righteous, then you are an equal
contributor to the problem.
When you are not part of the problem, here is the best solution:

Ignore it.
Here's why: IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. At least, you cannot expect it to. A solid case of selfrighteousness requires real help and outside insight. In other words, the self-righteous soul needs to
ask for help and then be willing to receive the most difficult kind of feedback over time.
You can't just show up to up in front of the average self-righteous person and say, "Hey, knock it off."
So, forget it. Focus on getting things done and do not allow a self-righteous attitude to get in the way.
Accept the self-righteous one's good ideas, rejected the bad ones, move ahead and do not be
intimidated or annoyed. You'll never regret this.

On the other hand, if you allow a self-righteous person to get under your skin, you'll be the only one
suffering. And the suffering is enough to turn the mildest soul into a raging lunatic.

Sleepless nights, incessant inner negativity, spinning thoughts about how anyone can think they are
such a god, etc...
IN OTHER WORDS, SAY GOOD-BYE TO ANY SHRED OF INNER PEACE!
IF YOU ALLOW A SELF-RIGHTEOUS PERSON TO DESTROY YOUR PEACE, THEN...
YOU ARE FULLY ENGAGED IN SELF-SABOTAGE.

#Complex
#Inferioritycomplex
#DunningKrugereffect
#Egotism
#Hubris
#Impostersyndrome

#Megalomania
#Narcissism
#Self-righteousness
#Superior(hierarchy)

Self Righteous Jerk

The SelfRighteousJerk is an AntiPattern observed several times in various contexts by
the author. This is not describing any one particular individual, more a composite of
several. The refactored solution, however, is only based on the author's experience and
could use some refinement (see discussion below).
The SelfRighteousJerk is the kind of person who starts categories such as
CategoryOfMoron. His prime differentiator is that HE BELIEVES THAT HE IS
ALWAYS THE MOST RIGHT PERSON IN THE ROOM, AND DOESN'T CARE
WHATEVER HAPPENS WHEN HE MAKES THIS 'FACT' EXTREMELY CLEAR
TO EVERYONE ELSE.
He is not stupid, in fact often intelligent. Since he wants to always remain
the most right, he will adapt his beliefs based on whatever criteria he believes makes
him more right. Not being stupid doesn't disqualify him from being a moron however,
because his righteousness is his most fatal flaw.
He will never be fully respected as the most right (regardless of how right he may be)
for the very reason that he insists on demanding this type of respect.
Ironically, this mission to be the most right makes it much harder for him to be right,
because it makes him a jerk. Few people like him, few people are willing to put up
with him to hold a decent conversation, and so he misses out on one of the most useful
methods of learning, which is through interaction with one's peers. He would have a
hard time recognizing his peers anyway, since they are so obviously lessright than he
is.
We all know a SelfRighteousJerk. Some of us (this author included) used to be one.
Refactored solution:
If you are a self-righteous jerk and no longer want to remain one, you have a lot of
work to do, but there is hope. It is possible to stop being this type of moron. It takes a
couple of key observations that you probably aren't aware of, or aren't aware of the
significance of:
I once wondered why no one would listen to my great ideas. They were
obviously stupid for not paying attention to them. I would argue, insult, use
brutal sarcasm, complain, and other various techniques to try to show them how
wrong they were. Some people would respond with their own arguments,
insults, sarcasm, and complaining. I never believed anything they said. In fact,
after a certain point I would just dismiss anything they said without even
bothering to listen to it. They were obviously SelfRighteousJerks.

 Then I stopped one day, tired after a long and fruitless debate about Truth, and
thought, "This sucks. This isn't any fun, and nobody listens to me anyway. I
wonder why." Then it hit me. When people use the same techniques I use, I
never listen to them. Here's the kicker that I never realized until that very day:
Everybody is just like me. We're all built from the same stuff, and to a greater
or lesser degree, we all have the same social instincts. When I'm talking to
jerks, I never listen to them. When I act like a jerk, nobody ever listens to me.
You could have the greatest ideas in the world, and for the mere fact that you're
a jerk, nobody will ever listen to you. Doesn't that suck? If only the world
would change...
You cannot change the world. Especially if you're a jerk. People are happy
living their lives and it's very very easy to ignore people they don't like. It's
very hard for them to go through the bother of changing their lives which they
are already happy with anyway. If you're a jerk, and you give them a choice to
ignore you or change themselves, the obvious choice is to ignore you. In fact,
the harder you try to change them, the easier it is for them to ignore you. Before
you criticize them for acting in this obviously stupid way, you should know that
you do exactly the same thing. Remember all thoseSelfRighteousJerks you
ignore?
You can change yourself. You can choose to behave differently. If you could do
this, people might start listening to you more, you might get along with people
better, you might feel happier with the new relationships you can now form
with people who aren't SelfRighteousJerks. You will have more opportunities in
life, more respect, better friends, more love, and more happiness. With all these
reasons for you to change, why the heck didn't you do this before? "Ah, yes,"
you recall, "I value Principles, and Truth, and being Right!"
There is no Truth, so stop looking for it, and stop trying to make others look for
it too. Instead, search for what is useful to you. First of
all, TheSearchForTruthIsFutile. But that's not the most important thing. More
important is that you are very unlikely to ever find real Truth and Rightness.
Many many people have tried before, and the only ones who think they found it
are the mystical/religious people you can't stand anyway. This endless search
leads no where. You get nothing out of it in the end. Second most important is
that nobody believes in your version of the truth anyway, and nobody likes it
when you try to force them to believe it. Trying to make others believe in your
Truth will only bring you more pain, and will fail anyway, so there's just no
point. Better to search for what is useful (CollectWhatWorks). Useful is the
knowledge of how to deal with people in a constructive way. Other

people like to learn useful things, so you can share your ideas that way. People
will likely return the favour, and you'll learn more useful things too. People will
also show you respect. And who said you can't be principled and social at the
same time? Look at all the famous people you respect for being principled. To
the very last one of them, they are social people, I am without doubt. Even
Einstein and Feynman were nice guys, though sometimes shy.
So, where do you go from here? It won't be easy, but there are places to start. Despite
the silly title, HowToWinFriendsAndInfluencePeople is still one of the best books for
transforming yourself from aSelfRighteousJerk into a happy, successful person.
Another book to look into is SevenHabitsOfHighlyEffectivePeople, which addresses
the desire to remain principled.
The song, Revolution by TheBeatles? (JohnLennon/Paul McCartney):
I wish I could quote it here without copyright infringement, but instead here's a couple
links:
http://www.bbgcarpet.com/beatlesrevolutionlyrics.html
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=revolution+lyrics+beatles
In relation to the SelfRighteousJerk, this song basically says it all as to
why SelfRighteousJerk should be considered an AntiPattern. SelfRighteousJerks are
the ones who most want a revolution, and in the end, they never manage it. You need
people to accomplish anything in this world, and you can't gather support from people
if you are a jerk.
Multiple versions of this song exist. A (filmed) fast version with lots off squealing
guitar, a slower normal version, and John and Yoko's fun with tape thing (#9, #9...) on
the WhiteAlbum?. Interestingly, on the faster version John says "You can count me
out - in." This, he said, is due to his undecided take on destruction in a revolution.
Discussion regarding "TheSearchForTruthIsFutile" and "You can't change the
world":
Apparently the reason to be polite is because nothing matters. I don't buy that, so
apparently I have been wasting my time whenever I've tried to be polite, right?
How does that mean that nothing matters? I believe both of those and yet there is
plenty that matters to me. For example, having a good life and having friends and
family to share it with.TheSearchForTruthIsFutile means that the search for Truth
doesn't matter, not that nothing matters. Also, you can't change the world, but people
around you do change in response to you. "You can't change the world" is simply a
wake-up call that you can't control other people's beliefs. Only they can change

themselves, and if they perceive you as an influential figure in their lives, they
will choose to be influenced by you. You cannot force them to change.
If people around me change in response to my actions, then I can change the world, or
at least help in the process. And I still don't buy that the search for truth is as futile as
you say. Is believing so a necessary prerequisite for being polite, or not? If it isn't,
why would you act like it is? This seems like a cheap attempt to introduce some
philosophical agenda, but disguised as promotion of civility so nobody can object to
it. Well, I object to it regardless of the wrapper.
Whether or not you can 'change' the world is just arguing about words. The world
doesn't magically transform from 'changeable' to 'not changeable' when I say "You
can't change the world." But hopefully your perception does change. It's all about
how you are going to focus your time and energy. If you spend all your time trying to
"change the world" the way a SelfRighteousJerk does, you're going to be beating your
head against a wall. That's what it means.
The same thing with the search for truth. I've never met anyone who was preoccupied
with searching for the truth who wasn't also very very frustrated at their lack of
success in finding any. The problems with trying to force others to search for truth is
actually more important than whether you believe the search for truth is worthwhile
or not. Perhaps it wasn't clear that the search for usefulness replaces the search for
truth. At least you feel like you're getting somewhere when you find out something
useful. And like I said, other people will like to learn useful things you know; they
dislike having the 'truth' shoved down their throats. This is just a fact of life.
Also, I don't believe in politeness for politeness' sake. Politeness is useful to me, so I
usually try to remain polite.
I believe in the search for truth, and I think reasonable progress has been made. I
wouldn't force anyone to look, but I would encourage them to do so, and I'm sure as
hell going to object when someone tells me not to. This page strongly implies that to
not be a SelfRighteousJerk, you have to accept the author's pragmatic beliefs. The
hypocrisy there is transparent. I agree with the assessment that this page is noise.
Ok, well it only describes one person's transition from jerk to non-jerk. I'm sure there
are other ways to make the transition that don't require a belief that the search for
truth is futile. Unfortunately, I personally can't help on that side, not having
experienced it that way. Do you have other ideas as to how to make this transition?
The question that needs to be answered I think, from the currently-an-jerk point of
view, is "Why should I give up my strongly held beliefs that being a jerk is good, and
switch to a very different strategy of life?" For me, that question was answered by my
belief that the search for truth leads only to frustration, and the search for utility is
more fulfilling.
Either because it makes others more likely to learn from them, or because it makes
them more likely to learn from others. In both cases, not necessarily the same person
who is being addressed. If this is not the case, I'd be hard pressed to see the point. I

should note that evanglelism of relativism is not necessarily less self-righteous than
evangelism of any particular brand of truth, so I don't see how that change would help.
If you've changed - I don't know who you are, what you are like now and were like
before - I imagine it's independent of your change in position.
Note especially that the description above doesn't correspond to
SelfRighteousIndividual?. As described above, a SelfRighteousJerk is a combination
of SRA and BlatantIdiot?.
It corresponds to neither. It is an AntiPattern, not a category of moron. I think it's
appropriate to keep the two concepts separate, since the purpose of each page is quite
different. This page is about identifying, understanding, and modifying behaviour that
people have noticed is counter-productive. The category of moron pages are an
exploration of various AdHominem labels you can attach to people. It would be good
for this page if it was toned-down, whereas the category of moron pages are
intentionally volatile.