IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST

MERCIFUL

Prepared by: mazhar@live.com

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POLYGAMY IN ISLAM

Definition of Polygamy:

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse.
Polygamy can be of two types. One is Polygyny where a man marries more than one woman,
and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited
Polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited. First we will discuss about
Polygyny.

Note: The words Polygamy and Polygyny are used interchangeably in this article.

HISTORY OF POLYGAMY (OR POLYGYNY)

Polygamy was permissible in all the religions:

That one man can have more than one wife was something considered permissible in all
religions of the world even before the advent of Islam. The custom prevailed in Arabia, India,
Iran, Egypt, Babylon and among people elsewhere. Its natural validity cannot be denied even
to this day. The Europeans of the present age tried to break away from the practice of their
predecessors and made multiplicity of marriage impermissible.

The history of nations and beliefs shows that no religion or law had drawn a line in this matter,
neither the Jews and Christians, nor the Hindus and Aryans or the Zoroastrians.

Davenport, the well-known Christian writer has deduced from the Bible that plurality of wives is
not only favorable but is a source of blessing from God. Others such as Father Nixon, John
Milton and Isac Taylor have supported this view strongly. Similarly, Vedic teachings permit
unlimited number of wives, even in tens and thirteens and twenty sevens, at one time. Shri
Krishna, a highly respected deity among Hindus, had hundreds of wives. Many Hindu religious
personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of
Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives. In earlier times, Christian men were
permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of
wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and
Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of Polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben
Yehudah (960 C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities
living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief
Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.

As per the 1975 census of India Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims. The report of the
„Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam‟, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66
and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was
5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only
Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India
to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as
compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the
number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it
became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that
restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

The Bible did not condemn polygamy. To the contrary, the Old Testament and Rabbinic writings
frequently attest to the legality of polygamy. King Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and
300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3) Also, King David is said to have had many wives and
concubines (2 Samuel 5:13). The Old Testament does have some injunctions on how to
distribute the property of a man among his sons from different wives (Deut. 22:7). The only
restriction on polygamy is a ban on taking a wife's sister as a rival wife (Lev. 18:18). The
Talmud advises a maximum of four wives. (Swidler, op. cit., pp. 144-148)
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European Jews continued to practice polygamy until the sixteenth century. Oriental Jews
regularly practiced polygamy until they arrived in Israel where it is forbidden under civil law.
However, under religious law which overrides civil law in such cases, it is permissible. (Hazleton,
op. cit., pp 44-45.)

Polygyny in earlier period of Islam:

During the early period of Islam, this custom continued without being limited. As a result,
people initially took too many wives to satisfy their greed. Later on they could not do justice to
all of them and these wives of theirs lived like prisoners bound in the chains of marriage. Under
such conditions, the idea of an equitable treatment of wives was practically non-existent. It was
all a matter of personal choice or whim which could make the darling of the day a history of
tomorrow. The concern for standing rights was a far cry.

WHAT ISLAM SAYS ABOUT POLYGYNY?

Let us now see what the Qur'an says:

“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your
choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them),
then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to
prevent you from doing injustice.” (4:3)

In the light of above verse, consider these points:

1. Polygyny was allowed specially for protection of orphans:

The above verse is from Surah (Chapter) Nisa (Women), a greater part of this surah, in which
these verses occur, deals with the society and its reformation. In this regard, the foremost
sphere in which directives were given was that of the welfare of the orphans since they are one
of the weakest sections of society.

The verse above (4:3) was revealed to Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him in Medina after
he migrated to it from Mecca. Right after the battle of Uhud in which many Muslim men were
killed. This loss had left so many Muslim women widows and some women not able to get
married if they were single.

To make matters even worse, the Muslims had faced yet another battle against the Pagans in
Mecca and its neighboring tribes who wanted to attack the Muslims in Medina to finish off Islam
once and for all, and by the Jews and the Christians in Medina who betrayed the Muslims in the
"battle of Trench" after signing a defense treaty with Muhammad peace be upon him against
the Pagans. All praise due to Allah Almighty. With Allah's Will and Mercy, the Muslims had
miraculously won the battle against the Pagans of Mecca.

These continuous battles against the Muslims were very costly in terms of Muslim men's lives.
The women had to be taken care of one way or another. For this reason, Allah Almighty
revealed the Noble Verse 4:3 to Muhammad peace be upon him to solve the social problems
that the Muslims were facing. That is why at the very beginning of the verse Allah says about
Orphans:

"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans... (4:3)."

This Noble Verse came down for the purpose of protecting the Orphans. The purpose was
absolutely not for man's sexual pleasure nor privilege, nor was it to support man's personal
ego. It was revealed to solve a major social problem to prevent major sins such as illegal sex
and prostitution.

2. Polygyny was limited to only four wives:

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On the one hand, permission has been given in this verse that more than one wife can be
conjoined in marriage in twos, threes or fours; while, on the other, after having taken the
number to four, restriction was placed that more than four women cannot be taken in marriage
at one given time. This particular restriction of the Holy Qur'an was made much clearer by a
ruling given by the Holy Prophet PBUH. It has been reported that, soon after the revelation of
this verse a person by the name of Ghailan ibn Aslamah al-Thaqafi embraced Islam. At that
time, he had ten wives who had also embraced Islam. Pursuant to the Quranic injunction, the
Holy Prophet asked him to select and retain four and release the rest by giving them divorce.
Ghailan obeyed the command, retained four women and severed his marital link with the rest
(Mishkat, p. 274, with reference to al- Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah).

Qais ibn al-Harith al-Asadi PBUH says: 'When I embraced Islam, I had eight wives. I mentioned
this to the Holy Prophet PBUH. He said: "Keep four of them and divorce the rest." (Abu Dawud,
p. 304)

According to a report in Musnad al-Imam al-Shafi'i, when Sayyidna Nawfal ibn Mu'iwiyah PBUH
embraced Islam, he had five women in his nikah. The Holy Prophet asked him too to divorce
one woman. This incident appears in Mishkat as well (p. 274) with reference to Sharh al-
Sunnah.

In short, the blessed practice of the Holy Prophet and his noble Companions very clearly
illustrates the meaning of this verse, that is, conjoining more than four women in the bond of
marriage is haram (forbidden).

3. Marry only one if you cannot do justice:

Let us now see what the Qur'an says after allowing up to four wives. It says:

“…But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman, or a
bondwoman you own - 4:3.

From here we find out that having more than one wife is permissible and appropriate only on
condition that equality can be maintained among all wives as required under the Shari'ah of
Islam, and that the rights of all can be duly fulfilled. This applies to housing, food, clothing,
kind treatment, etc. If one does not have the capability to discharge his obligations in this
manner, the rule is to keep to only one wife. As stated earlier, the injustice of multiple
marriages during the days of ignorance without any considerations of rights of wives had made
a mockery of this field of human relationship. So, the Qur‟anic command was: If you are unable
to do perfect justice between wives, then restrict yourself to no more than one.

The outcome (to be seen as a whole) is that the Qur'an has permitted having four wives in
marriage which means that marriages entered into within this limit will be correct and
permissible. But, under such a contingency, that of having more than one wife, it will be
obligatory (wajib) to maintain justice and equality between them. Doing otherwise is a grave
sin. So, anyone who thinks of having more than one wife should first think about all those
factors and conditions around him and, more importantly, look into himself, introspect, weigh,
deliberate and figure out realistically whether or not he has the ability, or the capability or
quality to treat all of them equally and justly without causing the least infringement of their
rights. If strong likelihood exists that one will not be able to come up to the standard and most
probably will fail to maintain such justice and equality, then, having the audacity to go ahead
and step into the bonds of more than one marriage is really a thoughtless plunge into a grave
sin. One must stay away from doing something like this and, human condition being what it is,
living with only one wife should be considered quite sufficient.

Speaking legally, if a person marries more than four women in a single offer and acceptance,
the marriage shall be void ab initio because nobody has the right to have more than four wives.
As far as marriages within the limit of four are concerned, they shall be deemed as valid
marriages all right, but any shortcoming in treating wives equally and justly will be an act of
grave sin. In addition to that, any infringement of a wife's rights can be challenged in an
Islamic Court and the aggrieved wife can receive redress from there.
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The Holy Prophet PBUH has laid great emphasis on maintaining full equality and justice
between all wives and he has given stern warnings against those who do otherwise. Above all,
he has demonstrated the desirable ideal through his own conduct, reaching the outer limits of
treating his wives equally even in matters in which equality is not mandatory.
In a hadith, the Holy Prophet has said:

“Anyone who has two wives and he cannot fulfill their rights equally and justly, shall be raised
on the Day of Doom in a condition that one of his shoulders will be drooping down.”(Mishkat, p.
278)

We should, however, keep in mind that this equality of treatment is necessary in things which
are within the control of man. For example, the coverage of personal expenses and parity in
overnight stays. As for things out of man's control, such as the natural inclination of his heart
which might tilt towards one of them, there is no accountability there for this is not a matter of
choice. And Qur‟an has mentioned that no one is responsible for something beyond his control
in case of equality among wives:

And you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives, even though you are
eager to. So, do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other hanging. And if you mend
and fear Allah, then, Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful. (4:I291)

Now the above verse will be explained in detail.

In order to make married life pleasant and stable, the Holy Qur'an has given important
instructions to both parties in these verses. Out of these, there is the above verse which says
that “you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives” which carries a special
instruction for both.

At this point it will be recalled that the Holy Qur'an has already established in the beginning of
Surah Nisa it was said: "But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one
woman (4:3). It means that a man who holds more than one wife in the bond of marriage is
duty-bond to maintain justice and equality among all wives, and that if one thinks that he
would be unable to fulfill this obligation, he should not take more than one wife.

The Holy Prophet PBUH has, by his word and deed, declared that maintaining justice and
equality among wives is a very emphatic injunction and he has given stern warnings to those
who contravene it. A'ishah PBUH has said that the Holy Prophet took great care in making
perfectly sure that he treats his wives equally and justly. While he did so, he prayed to Allah:

“O Allah, this equalization of mine is in what I have in my control; therefore, do not make me
answerable for what is in Your control (that is, emotional inclination) and not in mine.”

Who could be in control of his self more than the Holy Prophet PBUH, yet, the matter of
emotional inclination was what he too ruled as something out of his control and prayed to
Almighty Allah that he be excused on that count.

The veneer of the words in verse 3 of chapter 4 gave the impression that maintaining equity
between wives was an absolute obligation which, obviously, includes equity in emotional
inclination while this is something not in one's control. Therefore, in this verse, the matter was
clarified by saying that in things which one does not control, equality is not obligatory.
However, equality shall be observed in matters within one's control, for example, equality in
spending nights with them, their living standards and cost of maintenance. Allah Almighty has
revealed this injunction in a way which compels a God-fearing person to put it into practice. It
was said: (and you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives, even though
you are eager to. So, do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other hanging).

This leads us to realize that the inability to maintain equality pointed out in this verse actually
refers to the equality in emotional inclination which is beyond human control. Then, the words
of this verse (So, do not lean totally) themselves contain the justification of this sense. This is
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because the words mean: 'Even though maintaining equality in emotional inclination is not
within your power, yet you should not lean totally towards one of your wives so much so that
you start preferring her even in matters which lie within your power and control'.

Thus, this verse of Surah Nisa (129) becomes a clarification of the earlier verse (3) of the same
Surah which outwardly appeared to be suggesting that equality in emotional inclination too was
obligatory. Now, this verse makes it precisely clear that this is not obligatory because it does
not lie in one's power. Instead, what is obligatory is the equality in matters which do lie in one's
power and discretion.

The verse (4:129) cannot be used against polygamy:

Incidentally, the details appearing above also serve to remove the misunderstanding of those
who, by juxtaposing these two verses, wish to conclude that the verse appearing at the
beginning of Surah Nisa (3) says: 'If you cannot maintain equality between wives, marry only
one'; while, the other verse (129) says: 'Maintaining equality between two wives is just not
possible'; therefore, the outcome is: The very keeping of two (or more) wives in the bond of
marriage is impermissible as such!

Though surprising, Allah Almighty has Himself phrased these very two verses with the
necessary material to remove this misunderstanding. The indication given in the present verses
by the use of the words: (So, do not lean totally) has appeared immediately

before while the words used in verse 3 were: "But, if you fear that you

will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman." Here, in the later verse, saying: 'If you
fear' as a condition openly indicates that maintaining justice and equality between wives is not
beyond the realm of possibility or ability. Otherwise, there was no need for this extended word
arrangement, more so, not to the limit of two full verses. For example, the verse which says
“Forbidden for you are your mothers and your daughters: 4:23) carries details pertaining to
women marriage with whom is forbidden. Then, by saying: “and that you combine two sisters
in the bond of marriage: 4:23), it has been declared that combining two sisters in marriage is
unlawful. Similarly, it was quite possible to say that having more than one wife simultaneously
is unlawful. If so, the restriction of “two sisters” with “that you combine” would have become
redundant. It was possible to say this in one single sentence, something like: „and that you
combine two women in the bond of marriage‟ which would have made it unlawful in the
absolute sense. But, the Holy Qur'an avoids this lexical brevity for the sake of a longer
narration, the detail of which extends to as much as two full verses. This treatment also
indicates that the verse: “that you combine two sisters in the bond of marriage - 4:23” is, in a
way, suggesting the justification of combining more than one woman in the bond of marriage
which is quite permissible with the condition that they should not be sisters of each other.

4. The Qur’an is the only religious book that says, “marry only one”:

The Qur‟an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase „marry
only one‟. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of
the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the
Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to
these scriptures one can marry as many as one wish. It was only later, that the Hindu priests
and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

5. “Marry” not kidnap:

The verse says “Marry,” not kidnap, buy, or seduce. What “marriage” is as understood in
Islam? Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is not valid unless both contracting parties
consent to it. Thus no wife can be forced or “given” to a husband who is already married. It is
thus a free choice of both parties.

6. Qur’an stopped the injustice:

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As said earlier that in early period of Islam, there was no limit on number of wives and no
justice among them regarding their rights. It was the Holy Qur'an which stopped this great
injustice prevailing in the human society at large. It restricted the plurality or multiplicity of
wives by declaring that keeping more than four women under the bond of marriage was
forbidden (haram). In addition to that, stern warning was given against any contravention of
the Divine command which emphatically demanded that equality in fulfilling the rights of
women taken into the bond of marriage at the same time must be maintained faithfully.

From the verse 4:3, we also find that polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but
merely permitted and permitted not to anyone but only those who can do justice among their
wives. So if anyone who has married to more than one wife and is not doing justice among
them, then he is doing sin and Islam is completely against such an act.

7. General norm in Islam is monogamy:

You should know that the general norm in Islam is monogamy and not polygamy. More
importantly, the permission to practice polygamy is associated with compassion towards
widows and orphans, and is not associated with mere sexual satisfaction.

It is both, honest and accurate, to say that it was Islam that regulated this practice, limited it,
and made it more humane and instituted equal rights and status for all wives. What the
Qur‟anic decrees amount to, taken together, is a discouragement of polygamy, unless necessity
for it exists.

8. Polygamy is rare in many Muslim societies:

It should be noted that in many Muslim societies today the practice of polygamy is rare since
the gap between the numbers of both sexes is not huge. One can, safely, say that the rate of
polygamous marriages in the Muslim world is much less than the rate of extramarital affairs in
the West. In other words, men in the Muslim world today are far more strictly monogamous
than men in the Western world.

Billy Graham, the eminent Christian evangelist has recognized this fact: "Christianity cannot
compromise on the question of polygamy. If present-day Christianity cannot do so, it is to its
own detriment. Islam has permitted polygamy as a solution to social ills and has allowed a
certain degree of latitude to human nature but only within the strictly defined framework of the
law. Christian countries make a great show of monogamy, but actually they practice polygamy.
No one is unaware of the part mistresses play in Western society. In this respect Islam is a
fundamentally honest religion, and permits a Muslim to marry a second wife if he must, but
strictly forbids all clandestine amatory associations in order to safeguard the moral probity of
the community." (Abdul Rahman Doi, Woman in Shari'ah (London: Ta-Ha Publishers, 1994) p. 76.)

OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO THE FIRST WIFE:

It has to be added that polygamy in Islam is a matter of mutual consent. No one can force a
woman to marry a married man. Besides, the wife has the right to stipulate that her husband
must not marry any other woman as a second wife. 74 The Bible, on the other hand, sometimes
resorts to forcible polygamy. A childless widow must marry her husband's brother, even if he is
already married, regardless of her consent (Genesis 38:8-10).

a. She may be barren or ill and see in polygamy a better solution than divorce.

b. She may divorce him (unilaterally) if he is married to a second wife provided that the nuptial
contract gives her the right of unilateral divorce (Ismah).

c. She can go to court and ask for a divorce if there is evidence of mistreatment or injustice
inflicted upon her.
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d. Each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as prescribed in Islam (as a
part of justice among wives). It is not permissible for the husband to force his wives to live
together in one house.

CIRCUMSTANCES IN FAVOR OF POLYGYNY

1. Strong physical desires of men: There are some men who may have strong physical
desires, for whom one wife is not enough. If the door is closed to such a man and he is told,
you are not allowed more than one wife, this will cause great hardship to him, and his desire
may find outlets in forbidden ways.

2. Intercourse during menstruation period is forbidden: A woman menstruates each

month, and when she gives birth, she bleeds for forty days (this post-partum bleeding is called
nifaas in Arabic), at which time a man cannot have intercourse with his wife, because
intercourse at the time of menstruation or nifaas is forbidden, and the harm that it causes has
been proven medically. So plural marriage is permitted when one is able to be fair and just.

3. What if a woman is infertile:

Polygyny is, in fact, a thing in favor of women themselves. If it happens that a wife becomes
invalid or even disinterested in sexual intercourse, how does she expect her husband to
behave? Also, if we suppose that a woman is infertile and her husband has a very great desire
for having children, what should he do?

In a situation as this, the man would either have to:

a) Suffer the deprivation of fatherhood for life,

b) Adopt a child

c) Divorce his barren wife and get married to another woman who is not barren.

In many cases, neither solution can be considered as the best alternative. Polygamy would
have the advantage of preserving the martial relationship without depriving the man of
fathering children of his own? The best way to solve the problem is to seek a second wife that
helps the first one and preserves the husband from resorting to deviation. Indeed, the society
will be safe and secure, and both parties will experience a happy marital life.

4. When a wife becomes chronically ill: A man whose wife becomes chronically ill, may be
because of serious accident and made her handicap for life, then the man would have one of
possible alternatives:

a) He may suppress his instinctive sexual needs for the rest of his life.

b) He may divorce his sick wife at the time when she needs his compassion most, and get
married to another woman, thus legally satisfying his instinctive needs.

c) Or he could compromise by keeping his sick wife, and secretly take for himself one or more
illicit sex partners..

d) The first solution is against human nature. Islam recognizes sex and sexual needs and
provides for legitimate means for their satisfaction. The second solution is clearly less
compassionate, especially where there is love between the two parties. Furthermore divorce is
described by Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as the “permitted thing which is hated most by God.”
The last solution is plainly against the Islamic teachings which forbid illicit sexual relations in
any form.
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To sum up, Islam being against immorality, hypocritical pretense of morality and against
divorce unless no better solution is available, provides for a better alternative which is
consistent with human nature and with the preservation of pure and legitimate sex
relationships. In a situation like this, it is doubtful that any solution would be better than
polygamy, which is, after all, an optional solution.

4. Eradication of adultery: The truth of the matter is that a religion or law which aims to
establish an infra-structure of chastity and modesty and considers the eradication of adultery
as necessary has no way out except that it permits plurality of wives. Apart from being a
preventive measure against adultery, it serves as a remedial approach to the problem of
comparatively larger female population in some areas as compared to that of men. If such
permission was not granted, mistresses and prostitutes will proliferate. This is why nations
which do not permit plurality of wives must live in rampant adultery (calling it 'free sex' hardly
changes the reality). Even in our own time, if we look at the state of nations in Europe and
America, we will see that they look down on what they call polygamy and put a ban on plurality
of wives, but they permit a man to practice adultery with as many women as he can get under
the cover of 'friendship', (and unlimited are the euphemisms invented to give it other names,
such as, 'relationship', 'affair', 'consenting adults', 'union', 'partner' to get around the ban).
Saying no to marriage and yes to adultery is certainly very strange!

5. Young widows and divorcees: Many young widows and divorcees with small kids
experience a life full of misery with no one around to take them as wives. Such widows and
children can lead normal lives if the dispensation of Polygyny is benefited from. Similarly, many
young women who, after embracing Islam, have been abandoned by their non-Muslim
husbands need Muslims to marry them. So, a number of problems can be solved by using this
permission, which would have been impossible to overcome had Islam totally forbidden
Polygyny.

6. Anthropologists declaring polygamy a social and economic necessity: Anthropologists

tell us that among various tribes and societies, polygamy is a social and economic necessity. In
some very poor areas, the infant morality is very high. Children on the other hand, are a source
of additional labour for the earning capacity of the family. To have more children under such
situations would require the practice of polygamy. It is by this very reason Christian
missionaries in some African regions justified their permission to local people to practice
polygamy without being excommunicated from the church. One researcher has even found,
through his studies that women in such societies not only accept polygamy, but some of them
even prefer this. (See for example Campbell, D., In the Heart of the Bantuland, Seeley, service
and Co.,Ltd., London, 1922, p. 160, and Cory H., Sukuma Law and Customs, Oxford University
Press, N.Y., 1953, p.52.)

7. Women outnumber men: In most human societies, females outnumber males. In the U.S.
there are, at least, eight million more women than men. In a country like Guinea there are 122
females for every 100 males. In Tanzania, there are 95.1 males per 100 females. 55

What should a society do towards such unbalanced sex ratios? There are various solutions,
some might suggest celibacy, and others would prefer female infanticide (which does happen in
some societies in the world today!). Others may think the only outlet is that the society should
tolerate all manners of sexual permissiveness: prostitution, sex out of wedlock, homosexuality,
etc.

For other societies, like most African societies today, the most honorable outlet is to allow
polygamous marriage as a culturally accepted and socially respected institution. The point that
is often misunderstood in the West is that women in other cultures do not necessarily look at
polygamy as a sign of women's degradation. For example, many young African brides, whether
Christians or Muslims or otherwise, would prefer to marry a married man who has already
proved himself to be a responsible husband. Many African wives urge their husbands to get a
second wife so that they do not feel lonely. (Ibid., pp. 92-97)
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The problem of the unbalanced sex ratios becomes truly problematic at times of war. Native
American Indian tribes used to suffer highly unbalanced sex ratios after wartime losses. Women
in these tribes, who in fact enjoyed a fairly high status, accepted polygamy as the best
protection against indulgence in indecent activities. European settlers, without offering any
other alternative, condemned this Indian polygamy as 'uncivilized'. (John D'Emilio and Estelle B.
Freedman, Intimate Matters: A history of Sexuality in America (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1988) p. 87)

After the Second World War, there were 7,300,000 more women than men in Germany (3.3
million of them were widows). There were 100 men aged 20 to 30 for every 167 women in that
age group. (Ute Frevert, Women in German History: from Bourgeois Emancipation to Sexual Liberation (New York:
Berg Publishers, 1988) pp. 263-26). Many of these women needed a man not only as a companion but
also as a provider for the household in a time of unprecedented misery and hardship. The
soldiers of the victorious Allied Armies exploited these women's vulnerability. Many young girls
and widows had liaisons with members of the occupying forces. Many American and British
soldiers paid for their pleasures in cigarettes, chocolate, and bread. Children were overjoyed at
the gifts these strangers brought. A 10 year old boy on hearing of such gifts from other children
wished from all his heart for an 'Englishman' for his mother so that she need not go hungry any
longer. (Ibid., pp. 257-258)

We have to ask our own conscience at this point: What is more dignifying to a woman? An
accepted and respected second wife as in the native Indians' approach, or a virtual prostitute
as in the 'civilized' Allies approach? In other words, what is more dignifying to a woman, the
Qur‟anic prescription or the theology based on the culture of the Roman Empire?

Aside from cases where women outnumber men, devastating wars, in the past and at present,
have taken their roll mainly among men. The result is not simply more women who cannot find
husbands, but even more widows who may aspire to a respectable family life. In such a
situation, if polygamy is bad, the limitation on polygamy is even far worse.

Both unmarried women and widows are human beings. Unless their instinctive needs are
legitimately satisfied, the temptation is great for corruption and immorality. But aside from the
moral question these women are also exploited. They are used as tools for men‟s pleasure, yet
have no guarantees, no rights or security, financial or emotional. Should they become
pregnant, it is their burden alone. But even if such women are ready to pay the price for this
personally, society also suffers seriously from such situations. The increasing number of
illegitimate children born today under conditions such as these provides a potential base for
tomorrow‟s maladjusted and even criminals. Furthermore it is inhuman, humiliating for those
children to grow up without knowing who their fathers were and without enjoying a lean and
normal family life.

8. Average life span of females is more than that of males: By nature males and females
are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child.
A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason,
during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.
During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents
and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at
any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

9. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and
infanticide: India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighboring countries, in
which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of
female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female fetuses are aborted
every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped,
then India too will have more females as compared to males.

10. World female population is more than male population: In the USA, women
outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to
the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gay i.e. sodomites.
The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do
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not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males.
Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more
females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole
world as compared to males.

11. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical: Even if every
man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A
who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays).
There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany
and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. Suppose my
sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens
to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she
either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes 'public property'. There is no other
option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

Most women would not like to share their husband with other women. But in Islam when the
situation deems it really necessary Muslim women in due faith could bear a small personal loss
to prevent a greater loss of letting other Muslim sisters becoming 'public properties'.

12. Marring a married man preferable to becoming 'public property': In Western society,
it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case,
the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a
man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honorable, dignified position in
society and lead a protected life. Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a
husband is to marry a married man or to become 'public property'. Islam prefers giving women
the honorable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second. There are
several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited Polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the
modesty of women.

13. Polygamy still right if men outnumber women: Polygamy could still be practical even if
the population of men were greater than women! Because we must not forget that it is the duty
of the man to take care of his wife. Most men today are either poor, in jail, in the army, killed
in battle etc. Therefore, there is still a shortage of men for women to get married to.

14. Results of surveys: A survey of over six thousand women, ranging in age from 15 to 59,
conducted in the second largest city in Nigeria showed that 60 percent of these women would
be pleased if their husbands took another wife. Only 23 percent expressed anger at the idea of
sharing with another wife.

Seventy-six percent of the women in a survey conducted in Kenya viewed polygamy positively.
In a survey undertaken in rural Kenya, 25 out of 27 women considered polygamy to be better
than monogamy. These women felt polygamy can be a happy and beneficial experience if the
co-wives cooperate with each other. (Philip L. Kilbride, Plural Marriage For Our Times (Westport, Conn.: Bergin
& Garvey, 1994) pp. 108-109)

Polygamy in most African societies is such a respectable institution that some Protestant
churches are becoming more tolerant of it. A bishop of the Anglican Church in Kenya declared
that, "Although monogamy may be ideal for the expression of love between husband and wife,
the church should consider that in certain cultures Polygyny is socially acceptable and that the
belief that Polygyny is contrary to Christianity is no longer tenable." (The Weekly Review, Aug. 1,
1987)

After a careful study of African polygamy, Reverend David Gitari of the Anglican Church has
concluded that polygamy, as ideally practiced, is more Christian than divorce and remarriage as
far as the abandoned wives and children are concerned. (Kilbride, op. cit., p. 126)

It is interesting to note that in an international youth conference held in Munich in 1948 the
problem of the highly unbalanced sex ratio in Germany was discussed. When it became clear
that no solution could be agreed upon, some participants suggested polygamy. The initial
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reaction of the gathering was a mixture of shock and disgust. However, after a careful study of
the proposal, the participants agreed that it was the only possible solution. Consequently,
polygamy was included among the conference final recommendations.

In 1987, a poll conducted by the student newspaper at the University of California at Berkeley
asked the students whether they agreed that men should be allowed by law to have more than
one wife in response to a perceived shortage of male marriage candidates in California. Almost
all of the students polled approved of the idea. One female student even stated that a
polyganous marriage would fulfill her emotional and physical needs while giving her greater
freedom than a monogamous union. (Lang, op. cit., p. 172) In fact, this same argument is also used
by the few remaining fundamentalist Mormon women who still practice polygamy in the U.S.
They believe that polygamy is an ideal way for a woman to have both a career and children
since the wives help each other care for the children. (Kilbride, op. cit., pp. 72-73)

15. Weapons of mass destruction: The world today possesses more weapons of mass
destruction than ever before and the European churches might, sooner or later, be obliged to
accept polygamy as the only way out. Father Hillman has thoughtfully recognized this fact, "It
is quite conceivable that these genocidal techniques (nuclear, biological, chemical, etc) could
produce so drastic an imbalance among the sexes that plural marriage would become a
necessary means of survival....Then contrary to previous custom and law, an overriding natural
and moral inclination might arise in favour of polygamy. In such a situation, theologians and
church leaders would quickly produce weighty reasons and biblical texts to justify a new
conception of marriage." (Hillman, op. cit., p. 12)

16. A practical solution to some of the social ills of modern societies: The communal
obligations that the Quran mentions in association with the permission of polygamy are more
visible at present in some Western societies than in Africa. For example, In the United States
today, there is a severe gender crisis in the black community. One out of every twenty young
black males may die before reaching the age of 21. For those between 20 and 35 years of age,
homicide is the leading cause of death. (Nathan Hare and Julie Hare, ed., Crisis in Black Sexual Politics (San
Francisco: Black Think Tank, 1989) p. 25)

Besides, many young black males are unemployed, in jail, or on dope. (Ibid., p. 26) As a result,
one in four black women, at age 40, has never married, as compared with one in ten white
women. (Kilbride, op. cit., p. 94) Moreover, many young black females become single mothers
before the age of 20 and find themselves in need of providers. The end result of these tragic
circumstances is that an increasing number of black women are engaged in what is called 'man-
sharing'. (Ibid., p. 95) That is, many of these hapless single black women are involved in affairs
with married men. The wives are often unaware of the fact that other women are 'sharing' their
husbands with them. Some observers of the crisis of man-sharing in the African American
community strongly recommend consensual polygamy as a temporary answer to the shortage
of black males until more comprehensive reforms in the American society at large are
undertaken. (Ibid)

By consensual polygamy they mean a polygamy that is sanctioned by the community and to
which all the parties involved have agreed, as opposed to the usually secret man-sharing which
is detrimental both to the wife and to the community in general. The problem of man-sharing in
the African American community was the topic of a panel discussion held at Temple University
in Philadelphia on January 27, 1993. (Ibid., pp. 95-9) Some of the speakers recommended
polygamy as one potential remedy for the crisis. They also suggested that polygamy should not
be banned by law, particularly in a society that tolerates prostitution and mistresses. The
comment of one woman from the audience that African Americans needed to learn from Africa
where polygamy was responsibly practiced elicited enthusiastic applause.

Philip Kilbride, an American anthropologist of Roman Catholic heritage, in his provocative book,
Plural marriage for our time, proposes polygamy as a solution to some of the ills of the
American society at large. He argues that plural marriage may serve as a potential alternative
for divorce in many cases in order to obviate the damaging impact of divorce on many children.
He maintains that many divorces are caused by the rampant extramarital affairs in the
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American society. According to Kilbride, ending an extramarital affair in a polygamous

marriage, rather than in a divorce, is better for the children, "Children would be better served if
family augmentation rather than only separation and dissolution were seen as options."
Moreover, he suggests that other groups will also benefit from plural marriage such as: elderly
women who face a chronic shortage of men and the African Americans who are involved in
man-sharing. (Ibid., p. 118)

OBJECTIONS

1. Disputes may arise between co-wives:

Some people may object and say that plural marriage means having co-wives in one house,
and that the disputes and enmity that may arise between co-wives will have an effect on the
husband, children and others, and this is harmful and should be avoided, and the only way to
prevent that is to ban plural marriage.

The response to that is that family arguments may occur even when there is only one wife, and
they may not even happen when there is more than one wife, as we see in real life. Even if we
assume that there may be more arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept
that they may be harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things in a plural
marriage. Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what everyone hopes is that the good
will outweighs the bad, and this principle is what applies in the permission for plural marriage.

Moreover, as said earlier, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as
prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force his wives to live together in
one house.

2. Why Polyandry is prohibited?

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from
having more than one husband? That is why Polyandry is prohibited in Islam?

Answer:

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have
more than one spouse while denying the same „right‟ to women. Let me first state
emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created
men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and
women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are
different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:

1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can
easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a
woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such
marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the
identification of parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know
their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often
they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not
have a healthy childhood.

If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name
of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in
science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of
genetic testing. Someone might say that a DNA test would be able to do so. However, even if
this test is used, there still are great chances of dissent between all the husbands with one
claiming to be the father and the other denying him.
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Since lineage through the fathers is hard to demonstrate compared to mothers, it would be
saved and preserved through polygamy. On the other hand, it would be impossible through
polyandry. In the case of polygamy, the father of a child is always known and therefore the
lineage is easily determined. As for the case of polyandry, the father is not necessarily obvious
and therefore the lineage of a child is also obscured. The DNA is still not accepted as sufficient
evidence to prove lineage by Muslim Jurists.

2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.

3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several
wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to
perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes
due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.

4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same
time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can
also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is
not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.

5. It is common sense that if a family is to come into being, not only should there be only one
head but also one person should not be placed under the command of multiple heads,
otherwise, great anarchy would result.

6. Since, in Muslim family, husbands takes the horn of leadership, if a wife has more than one
husband, she would be placed under the authority of many husbands at the same time. This of
course would only hasten to tear apart the fabric of a family unit.

The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more
reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited Polyandry.

Prepared by: mazhar@live.com