Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Better Tomorrow
By
3
First Published - October 1992
The publisher,
Treasure Vault Integrated Services (Nigeria) Limited,
(Books Division)
P. O. Box 71946, Victoria Island, Lagos
Tel. No. 08035200143; 08035200090 (Yemi)
or 08035200122 (Mary)
4
Why You Must
Read This Book
5
Table of Contents
(Pages 0-28)
Title page
Publication details
Why You Must Read This Book
Table of Contents
Dedication
Also by the Author
Media Comments
Acknowledgement
Foreward
Introduction
Chapter 1
My Roots ………………………………… 30
Chapter 2
Welcome to My Life ………………………………….. 31
Chapter 3
What Does the Future hold for Me and
How Do I Get There ………………………………… 50
Chapter 4
My Visionary Mother …………………………… 54
Chapter 5
My Biological Father and My Stepmothers,
As I Knew Them …….…………………………… 68
Chapter 6
My Paternal Sibblings …………………………… 71
Chapter 7
Chief Ilugbusi and His Influence on Me ……………… 76
Chapter 8
The Test of My Life …………………………… …. 80
Chapter 9
My Sojourn At Ajegunle, Idanre …………………… 82
Chapter 10
I came back to Iyin ………………………………… 91
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Chapter 11
Off to Lagos …………………………….. 93
Chapter 12
Back to My Education ……………………………. 102
Chapter 13
I Held my Destiny In my Own Hand ……………….. 106
Chapter 14
All Roads Closed ………………………………………. 108
54
Chapter 15
Wither My Life? ………………………………… 111
54
Chapter 16
My Wandering Days ……………………………….. 113
55
Chapter 17
The Road is Open …………………………………….. 116
57
Chapter 18
I left Uncle ‘Safe’s house …………………………….… 124
62
Chapter 19
I was Hypnotised and Tempted Too …………………… 135
69
Chapter 20
The Thought of Tomorrow ………………………… 142
73
Chapter 21
A Narrow Escape …………………………………….. 153
80
Chapter 22
My Marriage …………………………………….. 157
83
Chapter 23
Time up for Marriage ………………………………. 163
87
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Chapter 24
Our Wedding (I Met The False Prophet) …………… 175
Chapter 257
Bilding Our Home ……………………………… 178
Chapter 26
My Mother-In-Law …………………………………… 184
Chapter 27
How we Manage our Marriage ……………………….. 189
Chapter 28
How we Manage Our Finances ………………………… 202
Chapter 29
What Makes
Marriage Successful is
Compatibility ………………………209
Chapter30
How we Manage Our Children …………………… 211
Chapter 31
Why that hurry about Writing Autobiography ………… 220
Chapter 32
The Emergence of The Current Edition …………….. 226
Chapter 33
Publishing My Scripts ………………………………… 230
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
8
God’s Faithfulness …………………………………………237
Chapter36
Nigeria’s contribution to My Achievements ……………… 243
Chapter 37
A new Career Vision Emerged ……………………… 250
Chapter 38
My Sojourn at the University ……………………… 252
Chapter 40
My Experience as A Student-Worker ……….…….. 272
Chapter 41
My Spiritual Life …………………..…………….. 278
Chapter 42
I Settled for Christianity …………………………… 302
Chapter 43
My Life as A Student-Worker ……………………... 309
Chapter 44
Appreciation to Those who Supported
My Family ……………………………………….. 319
Chapter 45
My Mother’s Life A Lesson in Womanhood……….. 322
Chapter 46
I Release my Mum to God! 337
Chapter 47
My First Trip outside the Continent of Africa ………. 349
Chapter48
Back to My Mother’s Burial ………………………… 369
215
Chapter 49
My Adversaries Proved Wrong ……………………. 381
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Chapter 50
My Visit to Norway ……………………………………… 385
Chapter 51
My Spiritual Growth …………………… 391
Chapter 52
My Secular Siblings ……………………………….. 404
Chapter 53
Music and My Life ……………………………………… 406
Chapter 54
Overcoming Poverty ……………………………………… 414
Chapter 55
Eradicating Poverty From My Family ……………. 429
Chapter 56
Eradicating Poverty from My Extended Family .,,,, 435
Chapter 57
My Passions for People ……………………………. 449
Chapter 58
In The People’s Court /Photographs of
Events……… 461
Chapter 59
I Am Grateful ……………………………………… 481
Chapter 60
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Dedication
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Also by the same Author
• Better Tomorrow
• This Thing Called Marriage
• Family Budgeting: A Must For Your Home
• A Gallery of Positive Thoughts
• Positive Flashes
• Yemi Omogboyega’s 4-in-1( (this is a compilation of A Gallery
of Positive Thoughts, Positive Flashes, This Thing Called Marriage and
Family Budgeting: A Must for Your Home into one book)
• My Life is In My Hands
• Visit: www.treasurevault-ng.com click on the author’s
photograph and listen to the short video review of each
book.
(For more details, please turn to the end of this book
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Media Comments on
books written by the Author
“From the human foetus to the human corpse, and the soul,
either in heaven or in hell, the author gives some thoughts to
help the individual shape his life to achieve his set goal here
and hereafter.”
- Azubuike Ishekwene – Editor, The Punch
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“Family Budgeting”
“… the content is vast and of inestimable value.”
- The Guardian Newspaper Arts Page January 15, 2005
“Better Tomorrow”
“Positive Flashes”
“ The author, a lawyer, is able to capture activities in recent past and relate
them to the current socio-economic and political events, leaving a message that
nothing has really changed in Nigeria…”
.
“My Life Is In My Hands”
“… the writer cannot resist the ambition to touch on the issues that
are fundamental to the life of each mortal. In other words, from a
parent to the child and back to the parent, the book has something
revealing for everyone”
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“…what Omogboyega does in My Life Is In My Hands, is to offer
practical guides that see the individual through from the cradle to the
grave.”
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Acknowledgement
I wish to express my sincere thanks to all those
who contributed to the successful completion of this
book.
First in the role of honour is late Tunde Samuel
who read the first manuscript of the First, (1992)
Edition of this book .
I am equally deeply grateful to the following for
their immense support and useful advice, criticisms and
encouragement: Dr. Wahab Goodluck and Mrs.
Goodluck, Mrs. M.O. Ogun (for writing a second
foreward to the book), Sina Luwoye, Mr. Kunle
Adesida, Area Pastor Bankole Fabiyi, Mummy Fabiyi
and Mummy Adesida both of whom especially took
the trouble to scrutinize every word in this book before
its release to the market. . To my literary mentor, Bisi
Ojediran and author of the main Foreward to this
edition of “Better Tomorrow” and Elder Andrew
Masade who edited this book I am grateful.
In addition to my parents, the following people
gave me a solid foundation I needed as a child and I
sincerely appreciate them: Madams Hannah and
Iyaniwura Omogboyega and Late Pa Ilugbusi, his late
first wife, “Eye Salu”, and his entire household.
. Of course my wife, Mary, has always been the
first assessor of all my works. Her sharp criticisms
have remained spirited, and forthright, thereby giving a
sort of imprimatur of appropriateness to my writings
and thoughts. Mine is a blessed home!
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This is a golden opportunity for me to also
acknowledge and appreciate my other “wives”, Bunmi
Omogboyega, Dele Akinsanya and Kemi Omotoba.
Their coming prompted my first book on marriage
titled “This Thing Called Marriage” which is selling
well in the market place.
As real fathers are sometimes unable to name all
their children, I too should be forgiven here if I omit
any names of my children (biological as well as
adopted). I am grateful to them in whom I have
pleasure: Olumide, Muyiwa, Sunkanmi, Bosun, Tope,
Seun, Yetunde, Mrs. Busola Ajayi (nee Adeniyi), and
man others too numerous to mention here.
But I also thank Miss O. Osa who jointly
underwrote the initial printing costs of the earlier
edition of this book.
I thank you all in advance, who will purchase this
book and read it. I am certain it is going to be well
with you as it is with me now. Amen.
Above all, I give glory to God Almighty who has a
purpose to fulfill in His children and who spared me to
complete this work successfully.
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Foreword To
The First Edition
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The honour bestowed on me in writing this
foreward, I also extend to you, as I wholeheartedly
recommend this book to you.
PASTOR L. OSAGIE
Powerline Bible Church, Ijeshatedo, Lagos. (Sept.
1991)
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Foreword To
The Second Edition
At 48, Yemi Omogboyega may not be ripe to tell
his story: after all, they say life begins at 40.
Traditionally too, people who write autobiographies,
usually with lavish presentation ceremonies, are elderly
people with more degrees of life's experiences than the
thermometer.
Before I knew Yemi in the ever-busy corporate world,
he had started writing this book. When he saw the
writer in me, he bulldozed the writer's blocks in his
way and continued writing at a faster pace, and some
pages he had written long before our meeting were
dusted up.
I provided him some mentoring and stayed back
to watch him develop. He added to writing of
inspirational books, and what I saw later was a cascade
of publications. They were sprouting everywhere by
the quarter or so.
Today as I write the foreword of Yemi's
autobiography, I do so convinced that he is not being
boastful about it, nor is he trying to send signals that
he has arrived as a writer: it is never easy to be a good
writer.
Yemi has a story to tell, and as he had often
argued to convince me, he wants to give hope, send
comforting words of encouragement to children,
youths and adults alike, who are choking in deprivation
and poverty.
Above all, in this book, Yemi, as he told me, is
simply saying DO NOT GIVE UP. DO NOT GIVE
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UP, HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,
BELIEVE IN GOD AND JUST WORK HARD.
Considering the level of general poverty in the
countryside and the lack of social infrastructure like
schools, hospital, etc., many people there are born into
harsh environments that threaten to snuff out their
lives or their inherited potentials. But Yemi says, please
do not give up! That is the plea of a young man who
himself suffered so much poverty. To break the cycle
of poverty he, as a youth, had been involved in
farming, hunting and other occupations to make a
living.
Today, blessed with a fulfilled life, Yemi has tried to go
back in time, peeling the layers of his early life and
taking time to also explain the positive roles others
have played in it.
The hand of God in Yemi's life is obvious. And what
he has done here, I will simply describe as counting his
blessings, or even praise-singing. It is a thanksgiving
display of the Glory of God in his life. The Lord is
Good!
The wealth of the book therefore goes beyond
Yemi's achievements. It is a case of “see what God has
done in my life.” The Yemi Omogboyega I know is a
humble, God-fearing man. He is so open, you could
read him like a book, as this book shows.
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It is my pleasure to be associated in this way to a book
of such profound significance. As I have long
discovered, the combination of HUMILITY,
HARDWORK and the FEAR OF GOD never fails.
Bisi Ojediran
Author, Playwright
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“Better Tomorrow”,
A Book For All
M. O. Ogun (Mrs)
9th September, 2005
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Introduction
27
L-i-f-e
Is all about
Taking reasonable risks
No risk, no gain
No pain, no gain
No pain, no pleasure
The higher your risks and pains
The higher your returns,
Gains and pleasure!
Yemi Omogboyega
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Chapter 1
My Roots
Maternal
29
Subsequently, Ojorubutu got married again to one
of the Esan's family in Iyin Ekiti. There she bore her
remaining two female children, Olofinteye and
Adetola.
Thereafter, Olayinka (Chief Ejio Olupekun of
Okesale Quarters, Iyin Ekiti) my maternal grand-father,
got married to Ige. The couple bore Victoria Tomire,
Adeniyi (who later became Chief Ejio), Bosede,
Ibidunni and Folowosele. Tomire and Adeniyi have
died while Bosede, Ibidun and Folowosele (who
succeded his brother, Adeniyi as Chief Ejio) are still
alive as at the time of writing this book.
My Paternal Origin
30
Chapter 2
Welcome To My
Life!
(Childhood,Education
and Early)
31
My Birth
35
My mother, as usual, tried to shift our discussion to
something else which forced me to be agitated.
Thereafter, I pestered her to give me a straight answer
until one day, after a long emotional outpouring and
full of apologies for delaying for so long before telling
me the truth, she dropped the bombshell that Pa
Omogboyega “fathered you” biologically!
This revelation upset me greatly and weakened
me to my bone marrows. When I managed to control
myself, I realised that it was a nasty day in my history
as I felt totally cheated by my real father who had left
me to go through the personal sufferings I went
through up till then!
As catharsis ensued from my emotional
disturbance, something flashed the picture of Pa
Omogboyega through my brain and persuaded me to
compare and contrast our facial outlooks. Alas! I am
his direct replica! This fact further aggravated my
anger because I felt that this world had not treated me
kindly at all - what with such vivid resemblance by
which I was seemingly laughed or mocked at for my
naked incomprehension!
I vowed to my mother, there and then, that I
would have to change my name to reflect my father's.
After that, I went further to verify the truth of my
mother's denouement by confronting Pa Omogboyega
with my mother's confession. He confirmed her
statement and I promptly expressed my shock and
disappointment at the very unkind way he and my
mother had treated me.
36
He too apologised profusely and explained to me
that I was too young to be saddled with understaning
the whole thing and that it had not been his wish to
abandon me but he rather hoped that the situation
would sort itself out, especially at the period of my
maturity. Moreso that if he had boldly come forward to
claim me, the Ilugbusi family would no doubt have
reacted violently an implication that might have been
worse for me as a child . That was why he and mother
reached the agreement that “when the child is matured,
he will decide for himself.”
“Now that you have asked your mother and she has
confirmed the truth to you and I confirm it, the ball is
now in your court. I, and my entire family, will be too
glad to receive you. Indeed it is an open secret among
your younger brother, Ojo and sisters and indeed in my
entire family for I have always discussed your case with
them all. They have been anxious to meet with and
would gladly receive you whenever you decide to come
in. My two wives, too, are no strangers to you, they
eagerly await your coming to your rightful home. ”
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However, at the point it was clear to me that I was not
going to reverse my decision, I was compelled, full of
apologies for having hidden the matter from her and
our children till then, to narrate the full story to her
and all our children, biological or adopted. I also
prepared their minds for the crisis that would most
likely follow. It was one of the most uncomfortable
moments of my life. I summed up courage to go on.
So I leveled with them about the steps I had decided to
take. We discussed everything at length, the pros and
cons until we agreed on what to do.
That was why it was possible for us all to
accommodate the crisis that ensued as enumerated
already.
Another milestone we had to achieve was to let
my in-laws know about what was happening. But
before I could do that, one of my maternal siblings got
faster there than us. He had gone to my wife's family
to scare them! Eventually, when I got there, I had to
explain my position after which it was discovered that
the person that came to them was actually over-
reacting! So, I, accompanied by my father Pa
Omogboyega, my mother, and my two step-mothers,
Hannah and Iyaniwura with Uncle Ben Esan, visited
my in-laws to inform them about my whole
circumstance, during which I handed over to my
father-in-law a copy of the first edition of (“Better
Tomorrow”) and another pamphlet titled “Why I
Changed My Name” to them. Expectedly, they were
initially shocked, and expressed some anxiety but I
diffused their fears and convinced them that I had
45
been under a big yoke, which had been hanging upon
my neck from childhood. It was therefore inevitable
that I should change my name, which I assured them
had already been effected. They finally welcomed their
new set of in-laws and jointly prayed for better days
ahead.
Finally, my wife and my children physically moved
over to my biological father, Pa Gabriel
Omogboyega's house where his two wonderful wives,
Hannah and Iyaniwura as well as my paternal siblings
by them, who had longed to meet and receive us,
welcomed them with great joy.
So the heat from the Ilugbusi family was
counterbalanced and doused by the soothing balm
from the Omogboyega family. My relief was rooted in
the secret details of my relationship with my father and
his household as far back as when I was under ten
years old, even before Pa Ilugbusi's death.
However, as one of my children, Bosun, once on
reflection, rightly observed, “everything in this world
has advantages and disadvantages”. So I will
concentrate on the merits of my decision from this
point onward.
First, as I grew older before January 1993, I was
miserable because of the fact that I was not answering
my father's name. Secondly, the more I saw my father
and the fact that I am his carbon copy, it
psychologically made me wretched and I looked at life
as not worth living for me at all.
46
Before My Freedom
I Am Free!
48
so glad to be a uniting link for both families.
49
Chapter 3
Early Education
50
adjudged to be quite brilliant as my position in class
was invariably between the first and fifth, except on
one occasion when I inexplicably descended to the
20th position. I never sank beyond this position till I
passed out. I was in primary three when my foster
father, Pa Ilugbusi, died.
When Pa Oladimeji (Pa Ilugbusi's cousin) offered
to pay my school fees, I did not hesitate at all to
relocate to his home in Imesi Ekiti between August
and December 1967.
My Initial Ambitions
Let God also use you to show others the good in them.
Determine to find the rose within those people around
your life and ministry, despite their faults and defects!
Help others realize they can overcome their faults…!.”
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Chapter 4
My Visionary
Mother
Inspite of what I called the 'nasty' experiences so
far narrated, life has not been totally unkind to me. I
found love in my mother, father, stepmothers, brothers
and sisters, extended relatives, and, indeed, wherever I
found myself I was loved! Take my mother's corner
for an example.
Her life radiated boundless love. She was kind and
generous to a fault. To everybody, she gave all she had. She loved
children to a fault. She could not stand the sight of hungry
children around her. She would rather go hungry herself than see
children starve for food. Her kindness extended to adults alike.
She cared for all her siblings (and their children) the same way
she cared for her own biological children. But I was special,
being the last child and the most obedient of all her
children. I was never flogged by her once in a while to
correct me when I am drifting away from set norms
but I was done with deep affection..
54
was that I breathed with much difficulty in a virtual
state of coma. My mother said she had given up hope
that I would ever survive because I no longer ate, but
she had vowed not to bury me until she was certain I
was completely stone-dead!
So one day she took me to a local Church in the
village where they prayed for me. Back home, my
mother said, surprisingly, I started singing a garbled
version of one of the songs they sang in the Church on
that day:
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educationally, my education at the formative stage
would either have been aborted or become impossible.
My Mother's Nature In Me
I am Independent-Minded
From the symbiotic relationship with my Mum, I
have developed an independent disposition. I don't
like to be tied to anybody's apron strings!
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I love every of such visitors as they give me the
pleasure of consistently observing them!
In the end, what is Ikoyi or such-like places to me?
There is no more hankering or envy. By creating or
replicating my own pleasurable environment, I have
not only avoided the sameness and snobbish life-style
of Ikoyi but also set a new standard to be emulated by
my own neighbourhood!
66
Chapter 5
My Biological Father
And My stepmothers, As I Knew Them
My father, Pa Omogboyega, was a Blacksmith by
profession and a subsistent farmer.
From my earliest moments of awareness, I have
always related with him and his influences on me were
situated in his deep affection. But he never disclosed
his paternity to me then. Why he and mother
concealed the fact from me beats my imagination
although the degree of his closeness to me enabled me
to discover much later that he is my biological father.
He either lured me to his shop, or sent my mother for
me. At other times, he would send one or the other of
his two wives (Hannah or Iyaniwura) to get me.
Although he had no money to meet my financial
needs, his conduct showed that if he had it, he would
have lavished it on me. But what he had he gave - love,
which he showered upon me. The measure with which
he gave it to me he gave equally to the rest of his
children.
His workshop had become my usual playground
and I did some chores for him like heating up the fire
in the furnace used to melt the irons he shaped into
cutlasses, hoes, snares and such like. I also went to the
farm with him as often as feasible.
Even as a youth, I had not particularly cherished
the celebration of the famous Ogun festival. But I
67
accompanied him during such occasions and he made
me proud at the time. I usually received my own
allocation of the dog meat used for the festival.
I confess that I was always in a dilemma eating
dog meat. In the first place, dogs have always been my
friends, so I considered eating their meat as a betrayal
of friendship. I agonized over their slaughter for their
closeness to human beings with whom they have
always shared trust. Their being killed was therefore
also a betrayal of such trust.
In such contemplation I often ended up offering
such meat to my peers in our compound who relished
such opportunities.
Father's affection for me was so persistent and
consistent that our mutual intimacy is intact till now.
He is a lover of history, for he stands on the side of
truth. He is also firm but fair. He is a Christian but
(having seen their potency), he does not see anything
wrong with developing some aspects of African
religion. So all efforts to prevail upon him to stop
sacrificing to Ogun (the God of Iron) meant little to
him! Surprisingly too, though an illiterate by western
standards, he is very sound in biblical doctrines and he
quotes what the Bible says without any error
whatsoever!
My Stepmothers
69
Chapter 6
My Paternal Sibblings
Polygamy is not an Issue
70
focused on being able to create our own wealth
ourselves with our own hands!
If anyone of us makes a mistake, whoever first
observes it lovingly corrects it as if it were his own
error and we take it as a collective action. Each home
is taken as a common domain. Even though we are
born male and female, there is no sex discrimination in
our dealings. We respect one another reciprocally.
We take practical interest in ensuring that our
children interact and act together because they are our
legacies of love, oneness, openness, kindness, godliness
and all the virtues that distinguish the children of God.
We are so generous to ourselves that nothing is small
or too big to give to one another. In my daily wear, for
instance, I always notice that there is a gift from one,
two or more of us. Those who are yet to be strong
financially demonstrate affection and they care. Such
gifts are immeasurable and uncountable. We bless
ourselves spiritually and materially without any form of
public broadcasting. We thank God for all these.
We are particular that each and every one of us
should be economically independent and we act in
consonance with that belief. For this reason we strive
to lift up those of us who are yet to record appreciable
breakthrough in life.
We abhor gossip. Whatever we cannot say before all,
we don't talk about at all. Whoever hears one would
certainly tell others. Therefore, we believe in
transparency to the core.
Because of our concern for our corporate family
development, we frown at laziness and discourage it in
71
our midst so that we can work hard to attain progress.
While we accept that we are at different levels of
development and endowment, we believe that all of us
can reach the top by the special grace of God. We dine
and wine freely together. These are the secrets of our
unity, the strings that unite us, male and female.
On the social side, any invitation to a family
member is an invitation to all. We attend to any such
matter jointly as “THE OMOGBOYEGA FAMILY”
and not in our individual names. That is how we prefer
to run our family.
The presence of any of the three mothers
whenever we visit home is sufficient for any of us as
having met all the mothers. We feel safe and secured,
and our parents cherish our lives and unity.
Is this to say that there are no disagreements at all?
No! Our mothers in particular, occasionally disagree.
Our father also does have misunderstandings with his
wives but we, the children, isolate or distance ourselves
from such disagreements. Our parents know we don't
like such. So, as much as possible, they guard such
disagreements jealously so that their occurrence would
not leak to us. This is because they know we won't
accept any justification or rationalization of their
disagreements. We advised them to always examine
their own consciences.
On the occasions they have failed to live up to
expectation, we gather them together, do praise
worship, offer prayers and read appropriate passages
from the Holy Bible before taking them down memory
72
lane while examining them on some fundamental
questions.
One recurring observation we make to them is
that if God has been kind to them as to protect their
lives and make them happy, would they rather prefer to
court unhappiness? They always chorus: “No.!”
We would proceed: “Is quarreling amongst
yourselves the best way to appreciate God for His
mercies?” Again, their answers are with an emphatic
“No!”.
We would go further to ask: “Is quarreling
amongst yourselves the best way to appreciate God for
His goodness?” They say “No! ”
The next question would be: who amongst them
had God not favoured? Their answer was always in
the negative.
After such rigorous examination and cross-
examination, we counsel them to eschew quarreling
because it offends God. Finally we all kneel before
God to ask for the forgiveness of their sins, which can
provoke God to anger. We round off by praising and
worshipping God once more and then dance. After
that, we resort to the more important business like
group prayers for all members of our family at home
and abroad when we specifically pray for corporate
anointing for the growth of our family, with a
resounding chorus of “Amen!”. Such is how they are
reconciled to God and to us.
Our aim is not to know who is right or wrong. As
far as we are concerned, whoever the offender, they are
collectively wrong! With this ritual method of
73
cleansing, we discourage unnecessary quarrels and
maintain peace in the homestead.
Ours is a polygamous home others should emulate
for survival! And this is the foundation of my
postulation that if only we cared to love ourselves, our
homes, whether polygamous or monogamous and our
life would be peaceful. Someone in the family has to
start the emulation of the way of life we have
postulated and it is never too late to do so. Nobody
will die in the process of doing it!
74
Chapter 7
Chief Ilugbusi
And
His Influence On Me
Chief Ilugbusi, my surrogate father, was a
gentleman indeed. The fun about him was that he
liked to converse in the English language, even though
he had little education. However, most often, the result
of such disposition might have been laughable doses of
malapropism. For me, although I did not understand
anything other than the strange sound of his spoken
English, I admired him nevertheless whenever he so
spoke because he always explained to me in our native
dialect whatever he had said in English. He was a
subsistent farmer. Although a Christian, he was said to
attend church services only occasionally. I did not
witness any of such occasions throughout our life
together. But he did not associate himself with idol
worshippers. He loved me very much. That fact,
however, did not stop him from beating me as often as
I had played pranks that resulted, say, in the breaking
of the water gourds, palm-wine bottles, calabashes or
whenever I was too inquisitive. Yet he pampered me
with such unbelievable intensity almost immediately
after such beatings!
He disdained to use any form of drugs, orthodox
or traditional, for healing ailments. He believed,
nevertheless, the Biblical saying that everything had its
75
own time: time for strength, time for weakness, time
for good health and time for sickness. Accordingly,
whenever he took ill, he would rest for a day or two and,
naturally, he would recover!
My habit that invariably infuriated him for which he caned
me, many times, was my talkative nature. As a child, I was
always telling stories, without prompting, of whatever meals we
ate whenever we were in our farm. Pa Ilugbusi did not
particularly like that broadcasting exercise. The consequences
were severe.
I remember vividly one occasion that I nearly paid
dearly for my abuse of liberty. The first sets of new
yams were harvested toward the end of April in the
community but with Pa Ilugbusi, some of his yams
were already matured by late March. It was the custom
that no new yam must be carried openly across the
market place until after the Ogun festival (sacrifices to
the god of iron) had been observed.
The festival was celebrated yearly between August
and September, but Pa Ilugbusi did not worship Ogun
and so he was not constrained to abide by such
injunctions. We used to eat new yams as soon as they
were strong enough for harvesting. We either pounded
the yam or ate it cooked, at times with a sauce of
garden-egg mixed with palm-oil and a tasty quantity of
hot pepper. I enjoyed such meals so much that I
thought only the life spent in Heaven might have
compared at all with the period spent in the farm!
This memorable day, Papa forewarned me not to tell
anyone stories of whatever we ate. His warning was particularly
stern concerning the new yam, which we had just pounded and
76
eaten for the first time that year. I promised to keep my lips
sealed. But when we got home, in the warmth of welcome
greetings, I forgot everything. Maybe, my tongue was faster than
my brain, I did not know. All I knew was that I had
summarized the event in the farm in the concise statement, “A
ji'yan l'oko at'usu ibunbun” meaning, we ate pounded yam in
the farm - laying emphasis on new yam. Papa shouted at me but
it was rather too late. The story had been told to the
fullest admiration and satisfaction of my eager
audience. The swift intervention of my step-mother
saved me from the dire consequence of his firm grip.
But I will never forget the terrifying swishing-sound of
the slim but strong, sun-dried atorin (cane) with which
he had tried to discipline me!
As I write this book, there is a kolanut tree,
somewhere very close to his tent then, which he made
me to plant as a historical monument. He dug the hole
and I inserted the kolanut seed, covered it up and he
told me that the significance of that joint exercise was
“if there is a dispute on this land tomorrow, you will be
able to say factually that (unknown to him that he was
not my biological father) your father dug this hole and
that you put the kolanut seed which produced this
tree.” That was around 1964 - three years before his
death.
77
The Relationship Between Chief Ilugbusi and My
Mother
78
Chapter 8
The Test
Of My Love
Right from my childhood, I have always cared for
others. I could not hurt anyone. I am also on the
gentle side. However, one day, a friend of mine, Bayo
put me to the test. Bayo was of my age group and
we were really very close to one another.
Bayo always ran errands for his parents who, I
later gathered, lived apart. His normal route cut across
our backyard, where a moderately sized rock, about
five feet high and of a circumference of about four
feet, sat lazily. It formed part of our playground during
the day and where, at night, we were told moonlight
tales, especially by “Eye Salu”, my stepmother from the
Ilugbusi side. Around this rock, too, was a heap of
ashes, which served as our staircase and ladder
whenever we chose to reach the top of it.
As it was our pre-arranged meeting spot, I never
one day missed Bayo. Whenever he passed by, it was
our opportunity to do our exciting evening exercises.
On such occasions, Bayo had always been on the
victorious side whenever we fought our inevitable
youthful fights.
79
I Overcome Bayo
80
Chapter 9
My Sojourn
At Ajegunle, Idanre
In December 1967, my maternal Uncle, Israel,
came home from Idanre to spend Christmas. I was
there with my mother in their parents house. Uncle
Israel was a very kind, humorous and loving person.
He had heard that I was out of School and offered
to take me with him to Idanre. Mother agreed. So, in
January 1968, we left for Ajegunle, a village some
twenty kilometers after Idanre town. Uncle Aimasiko
drove us from Ado-Ekiti where we passed a night with
him. When we got to Akure, we took a taxi to Odode-
Idanre.
In Idanre Township there were mountains of rock
everywhere! I had never seen anything like that in my
life - a town, which enjoyed, as it were, the support
and protection of rocks as in Idanre. I observed the
sure-footedness of goats climbing the steep faces of
the rocks without falling! They were, indeed, mountain
goats!
From there, the journey was still some 20
kilometres to Ajegunle, our final destination. We
boarded the “Agbegilodo”, the open-back timber truck
that was the popular means of transportation at the
time.
The vehicle was very uncomfortable during the
ride on the untarred road, which was full of bumps.
81
Any attempt by the driver to avoid potholes was
severely jolting and we struggled all the time to prevent
our luggage from falling off. Crossing the few wooden
bridges was the most frightening experience, as they
were very narrow and barely accommodated the lorry.
At every passage, I imagined myself falling with the
lorry over the edge into the rivers or chasms below!
But soon, as with every child, the experience began to
titillate me, and I enjoyed it.
The houses in Ajegunle were built in rows, with
very narrow passages between them for walking.
There were about eight such rows for about half a
kilometer in length.
Uncle Israel had been a contract cocoa farmer.
His income was determined solely by the amount of
cocoa he was able to produce in a year. Any such
output was divided into three equal parts, with two-
thirds going to the cocoa-farm owner.
Ajegunle had only one Methodist Primary School
at that time, consisting of two buildings, each of which
had four classrooms. In no time, Uncle Israel kept his
promise by getting me admitted there. I was glad he
did.
My teacher was one Mr. Komolafe, an Ekiti man.
Another personality I admired very much, was said to
be the son of the Oba of Igede Ekiti. I admired him
because of his love for sports, his talent as a drummer,
his beautiful voice and his smart, trendy appearance.
Mr. Komolafe and this man, name I cannot recall,
lived in the same compound provided for the village
schoolteachers. The house was a stone's throw to our
82
door-less house. What we used as a door then was a
board of the hingeless, thick bark of an Iroko tree,
about five feet high and four feet wide. We usually
supported it behind with some heavy layers of tree
trunks at night to prevent it from falling over or being
easily opened.
Our house contained four rooms and a large
parlour. We occupied one room and the large parlour,
while Pa Ogedengbe, a respected herbalist from Iyin,
and two other people from Gogo and Efon Alaaye, all
from Ekiti-land, occupied the remaining three rooms.
There was a large backyard where we grew vegetables.
It also provided space for our common kitchen and
separate bathrooms, as well as layers of holes and cages
where we reared some pigeons and fowl.
Shortly after I resumed school, Mr. Komolafe
noticed my studiousness. He soon became very
friendly with my Uncle and paid us regular evening
visits during which he reported to Uncle about my
academic performance and pleasant character.
I completed my primary three education in the
school that year and was promoted to four. But soon
after, there was a sudden closure of the school, creating
another disruption of my academic undertaking. In
those days, the period between late August and early
February each year was usually unsafe for children in
Idanre. It was a period kidnappers operated in the
surrounding villages. So, for safety reasons, my Uncle
like others, debarred me from going to school. That
was in 1969.
83
In the interim, I joined in farm-work, hunting and
domestic chores. In the midst of it, I did not stop
reading my books in the evenings when the day's work
was done. Because of my dedicated service, Uncle
Israel loved me the more and encouraged me to
maintain the attitude. I had my own small farm just
beside his that I looked after in my spare time. But I
never forgot my school time and was wont to hum this
popular school song:
85
I sang these songs one after the other as loudly as
I could so that anyone within a range of one hundred
metres could have heard me.
A few metres to where a trap was set, I stopped
singing to take a closer look as I noticed a pecularity
about it. In fact, the trap was no longer there! I was
excited and began to trace the bloodstained path of the
prey. I had to creep underneath the thick bush in the
process, not minding the thorns that pricked me.
At last, I saw the rodent at a distance and resolved to take
it home, come what may; so I crept towards it. I had had the
experience of some rodents escaping on traps at my advent. How
they managed it, I cannot say. Determinedly this time, I raised
my cutlass to hit the struggling rabbit. Then I heard a cracking
“Alee” (meaning Hello) from nowhere. I was stunned, with my
upraised hand arrested in motion. I looked about in my
crouching position but I saw no one. The bush was thickly
enveloping. I was frightened! Could it be a wild animal and if
so, what type? An elephant, a tiger, or lion? But, in any case,
animals don't talk! My heart beat fast and hard against my
ribs. Yet, I could not make a dash for it in such uncertain
circumstance. It was dangerous, so to do!
After a few seconds, the eerie greeting was
repeated and I fearfully responsed, “ooo Bai”. I was
literally floating in my fear! Could this be a kidnaper?
He would be as dangerous as a wild animal.
For the third time, he greeted me, at which point I
was able to catch a glimpse of the personality. It was a
hunter with his gun trained directly on my forehead,
ready to shoot. Luckily for me, I recognized him. We
were from the same village. He explained the situation:
86
“I had almost released the trigger before I observed
that you were not an animal. Why didn't you sing
aloud to indicate you are a human being?” he queried.
Thank God that I escaped being a hunter's game
that day. I went home, doubly rejoicing. But in the
evening, the hunter came to our house to inform my
uncle of what had nearly happened. I had been too
dazed to report the incident myself. However, my
negligence did not prevent Uncle Israel from
conceding to me the right to the head of the big rodent
as custom in such circumstance required!
88
careful intervention of Uncle Israel, I would have had
to re-learn my native dialect!
I continued to assist Uncle Israel on the farm until
the later part of the first term when, luckily, our school
was re-opened.
89
Chapter 10
90
examinations but our fears were groundless! The
School A where I begun my primary education in 1964
was where I finished nine years later in 1972! What
impressed me in my last two years was my membership
of the Boys' Brigade whereby I enjoyed exciting
opportunities during which we queued up to welcome
the then Governor of Western State, Major-General
Adeyinka Adebayo, who himself, incidentally, hailed
from my town, Iyin!
91
Chapter 11
Off To Lagos!
92
the baby things and ran ahead of her to the hospital as
if it had been my wife that was in labour! But God, in
His infinite wisdom, made the performance of her vow
impossible! Before I could obtain any forms for and
do the necessary examinations for secondary school,
my brother, Ajiboye, came from Lagos in December
1972 and offered me an irresistible carrot to go with
him (to a celestial place called Lagos!) with a clear
promise to sponsor the scholarship there! That was
how I inadvertently and permanently lost the chance of
having a full-time, secondary school education (but this
was not clear to me then).
Fehintola was unhappy with Ajiboye for taking me
away. She did not forgive him until the day (about a
year thereafter) when she observed from the letter I
wrote to her that my handrwriting “is now straight”.
She could not read but she could see a clear
improvement in the strokes of my handwriting. There
and then she concluded that I must have truly been
schooling. That false scale of judgment finally settled
the rift between her and her brother all on account of
me.
I had heard so much about Lagos, fascinating and exciting
stories that made me think, like other people, that inhabitants of
Lagos did not walk on their feet, but rather did so on their
heads! Another one that said that the dead and the living both
co-habited there together also reinforced this belief.
Fundamentally, those of us from the hinterland
saw Lagos as an escape route to liberty which consisted
ofreality eating bread not only during important annual
festivals such as Easter and Christmas as was in village.
93
So, going to Lagos was a rare opportunity to variagate
our culinary habits to include frequent eating of bread,
beans, egg, and so on. Bread used to be a status
marker of the Lagosians' superiority over their brethren
in the village. Even among Lagosians, as I later found
out, there was rivalry as to the type of bread one ate.
So, some resorted to buying bread with different
colourings to maintain class!
There was a variety that my brother used to buy
for us which we named 'Lagos bread'. It was of yellow
colouring and so tasty that whenever any aeroplane
droned over our village even at its great height, which
made it look only as big as a tiny symbolic cross drawn
on a classroom chalkboard, we would nevertheless
religiously appeal to it for bread on its return, as if the
pilot could hear us and take our orders!
I imagined that my sojourn in Lagos would fulfill
these expectations while the journey to it would give
me the opportunity of knowing towns and cities like
Ibadan and Abeokuta as well as all the places we had
read about in our English and Yoruba textbooks.
My excitement was indescribable. A few days to
my departure, I was full of songs, jubilant like someone
drunk and spoke imaginatively like Lagosians as I laced
everything I said with “Nigbati”. I invited everybody
to my meals with “Wa jeun” - come and chop ( as if I
was always so generous with my meal!). I was already
living the proverbial Lagosian: I dreamt Lagos, acted
Lagos and laughed Lagos. My appetite could only
savour Lagosian cuisine; it could no longer entertain
any other type!
94
I was so taken up with going to Lagos that I
refused to go on any errand for anybody except,
reluctantly, for my Mum and sister Fehintola. Anyone
else who wanted my services was confronted with my
ready-made answer: “By this time tomorrow, come
and send me on errand again.” I said the same thing to
my mother once, and she countered me promptly: “At
least you are still with me today and you must do
whatever I ask you to do.”
I arrive Lagos!
95
drivers recorded alarming rates of accidents with it and
the passengers were invariably trapped within it.
A little while after we took off, we got to Igede
about 5.30 a.m. and soon after, as we headed towards
Aramoko Ekiti, an edible big rodent dashed across the
road for the Cocoa plantation to the right. Pa Tijani's
attempt to crush it with his vehicle's wheels failed and
so he stopped abruptly, jumped down from the van
and started pursuing it in the early morning light.
Everyone in the vehicle responded in sympathy and
joined him in the chase. The rodent had no chance
with such a determined and hostile crowd after it, and
it was caught eventually. Papa promptly tucked it under
his seat and what finally became of it was beyond the
contemplation of this book!
For the rest of the journey, I was content enough
to feast my eyes on the kaleidoscopic passage through
Aramoko, Erio, Itawure, Ijebu-Jesha, Ilesha, Osu, Ife,
Ipetu, Gbongan and Ikire until we landed at Gate Bus
Stop, Ibadan.
Although we were at a corner of Ibadan, the
atmosphere was still impressive, what with the
cacophony of vehicular traffic, heckling bus
conductors and the general rowdiness. So this was the
Ibadan I had been hearing about and reading of in our
Yoruba books and during conversations! I saw very
big Austin Buses and 'Molues'. The sheer energy of
the bus conductors was bewildering: “Gbagii, Gbagii,
Beeree Beeree, Ojoo, Ojoo, ojeee ojeee, Mokolaa
Mokolaa, Ekoo, Ekoo, Ekoo, Lafenwa, Lafenwa!!!…”;
they shouted and heckled non-stop, announcing their
96
various destinations. The noise of stereo music that
blared from record stores all over the place
overwhelmed the entire environment. It was bedlam,
so it seemed to a newcomer like me. However, I held
on to my brother's apron string, for balance and a
sense of reality.
At last, we made up our minds to join one of the
big buses heading for Lagos. Unknown to me, my box
was erroneously stacked in the compactment of
another vehicle heading for Abeokuta or so! It was
during a final check of our situation as we boarded the
Lagos-bound vehicle that the error was discovered.
After a long and despairing search, it was eventually
located.
I had another experience that started as an
excitement but which ended in agony for me. It was all
due to my naivety. Our vehicle was full to the brim,
although there was a little room at the entrance or
tailboard of the vehicle for those who didn't mind
standing. In spite of the congestion, I had the offer to
sit on my brother's lap but I rejected it, preferring to
stand up at the door so I could have a tourist view of
our passage. I was advised against the choice because
the journey was too far to do that. I demurred out of
excitement and curiosity to see everywhere as we went.
Unknown to me, the Molue was noisier than its speed.
Although I was able to see so many places that I
cannot now remember, after one hour I was full of
aches and pains in my legs. It was so painful that my
spine was strained but I was too ashamed to let my
brother know the agony I was going through. It was
97
indeed a terrible experience as my legs finally collapsed
under me. As I toppled dangerously, those around me
quickly came to my aid. I was then squeezed inside the
vehicle where I was offered another but relieving
opportunity to sit on a gentleman's lap.
After traveling seemingly without end, we arrived
at Ijebu Ode, then at Shagamu and finally at Ikorodu
township. It was at Ikorodu that I started hearing the
vibrating noises of aeroplanes. I peeped through the
window and sighted some of them that seemed to be
sitting on top of us, as they were too low for comfort.
I feared they might fall off but, to my surprise, none
did. What I hadn't known then was that Ikorodu was
the direct tail-end of their descent route to land in the
Ikeja Lagos airport runway!
As from Ikorodu, I saw massive construction
works in progress, being done by gigantic caterpillars
and bulldozers. The snaking and frequent traffic jams
along the way, the high-rise buildings, the overhead
bridges, the extremely wide roads though crowded and
so many other things that a village boy like me had
never seen, fixated my deep interest. The Lagos State
Marcopolo Mass Transit buses were streaming up and
down, so were taxies, other big lorries, and molues. I
was excited to see them all, happy that I was finally in
Lagos. The date was January 3, 1973. As soon as we
disembarked at the suburb of Ketu, we joined another
bus heading towards the megabit bus junction of
Oshodi! Then we arrived at No 5, Salawu Street,
Oshodi which, was my first place of sojourn in Lagos.
98
Lagos is Unfriendly
100
Chapter 12
Back To My Education
Uncle 'Safe and My Education
101
Kingsway Stores, the Leventis Stores, UTC - and so
on, places which were famous in those days. It was also
Uncle 'Safe who enabled me to see the train for the
first time.
Uncle Idowu Omotoyinbo, like Uncle 'Safe, was
another affectionate one. He too had expressed his
regret for his inability to sponsor me or contribute
meaningfully to my education, but he made up by way
of counseling and charitableness. He gave me used
shirts and trousers which he amended to my size as he
did with all other items of clothing I received from
other sources, like my brother's friend, Uncle Samuel,
alias Jasper. Uncle Ayo Atoki always ensured that he
left for me some of the beans and bread he always sent
me to buy for him. All three of my relations Ajiboye,
Uncles 'Safe, and Ayo shared the same room at that
time. Uncle Idowu Omotoyinbo lived somewhere
close to Obey Street in Ikeja.
104
Chapter 13
My Destiny
In My Own Hands
My brother's unexpected withdrawal of sponsorship was a
fateful development, which marked when I had to take my
destiny in my own hands. I managed to remain in Lagos
thereafter because God destined it to be so. At that
crossroads, I must acknowledge the invaluable
contribution of my brother's late friend, Tunde Samuel.
He became my strong advocate but because God's will
had to prevail, all his efforts to see me back in school
came to nought. May his kind and gentle soul rest in
perfect peace. Amen.
My Future Is Uncertain
105
I stopped Attending Lessons
106
Chapter 14
All Roads Closed
In my first three months of solitude, I devotedly
practised Shorthand but by the fourth month, I began
to wonder if it was not pointless remaining in Lagos
with no definable future. I sought for what would
keep me constructively busy because I still yearned for
a life-long career, even if I had, meanwhile, given up on
my academic pursuit.
I agonized over my situation because I knew that going
back home after a year's stay in Lagos would affect my life
adversely as that would mean starting all over again. To gain
admission to a higher school would be difficult because I had
already given up the study of Arithmetic, which was a key subject
of any entrance examination! My progress so far in commercial
studies, especially in Shorthand, was something I did not like to
disrupt in any way. Of the seven of us who started Shorthand at
the Institute, I was clearly the most promising.
I reflected deeply and observed that the only two options
left for me was to either become a hunter or a driver but I felt
that any such undertaking was not good enough for me as I
believed strongly that my life's achievements would be anchored on
a good education. I was also conscious of the fact that poverty
dominated my total environment. Unfortunately, it was the
biggest heritage I had! Of course I did not like it and needed to
reject it as a fait accompli,if it were not to be the possible legacy
of the generations after me.
My path was therefore clear to me in two
perceptions, if I were to break out of the shackles that
107
threatened to engulf me: move closer to God and work
out my own destiny any way I could. These had been
the underlying thoughts that kept me going for three
months after my fees had dried up at the Secretarial
Institute.
As I have already acknowledged, Mr. Tunde
Samuel had made a significant entry into my life, which
he tried to keep on course. He was indeed a good
neighbour. He it was who encouraged me to read on
my own and weaned me from the idea of going back to
the village to hunt game. His was the timeliest moral
support I ever received from anybody. Despite the
encouragement, I was still in frustration and tired of
reading all alone without the school environment that
gives purpose to it. As a result, even my practice of
Shorthand, my best companion, began to suffer.
108
him. Each time I went to his house he fed me and paid
my transport fares back home, but nothing else.
Finally I lost faith in him and stopped visiting him.
On my way home one day, in the frustration and
disappointment that engulfed my total being, I
prophesied impulsively: “A a Pade Loke”, meaning,
“we shall meet at the top”.
109
Chapter 15
Whither My Life?
Precisely the above question was what I asked
myself at this point my life.
I confided in Jasper - that is, Tunde Samuel, a Printer by
profession - about the ghosts that hunted me. He then advised
me to take to printing, a profession where he felt he could
give me his unstinted assistance. After an extensive discussion,
I agreed, although I still doubted that I could make a career of
it because of the huge cost of establishing a printing press.
I had no money to my name and, to begin with, I didn't
know how I was to pay the sum of one hundred naira as
apprenticeship fee. Although my brother, Ajiboye, gave his
blessings to my change of career, his concurrence was not
backed up with the one hundred naira needed to pay the
apprenticeship fee. Neither did he promise to pay it at a later
date. Jasper himself wasn't bothered that I could not pay the fee.
He was satisfied that my brother gave his consent for
me to learn the new trade. So he proceeded to
take me on, free of charge!
In march 1974, I started attending his training
workshop. The workshop was located at Igbehinadun
Street, near Bolade Bus Stop, in Oshodi. I was one of
the three apprentices with Jasper then; the others
were Ade (now deceased) and Boluwaji, who were
Jasper's nephews.
I was designated the Compositor who set the
types. Late Ade was in charge of prints while
Boluwaji handled the menial jobs. I learned quickly
110
as I did with my Shorthand. Jasper was responsible for
only my lunch but, sometimes, he provided breakfast.
He clothed me too and gave me the first pairs of
leather shoes that I ever wore.
Unfortunately, a few months after I started my
printing career, the business collapsed. So was my
dream of becoming a printer, which died a natural
death.
111
Chapter 16
My Wandering
Days
The only way forward thereafter was for me to
take any kind of job that came my way and which
would fetch me the money to resume any form of
further education. For this purpose, I trudged
repeatedly to several companies including Enpee
Textile Industries Limited, Ilupeju, Aswani Textiles and
Arcee Textiles, both in Isolo. I walked across the gates
of almost all the companies in Ilupeju and Isolo but all
to no avail.
What I can never forget was the maddening rushes
applicants made anytime the Enpee gate was opened for the
selection of factory hands. I succeeded only once in those rushes
but my reward was being rejected for being too young to be
employed. I wept profusely inside me that morning but the
internal bleeding could not get me the job.
I had a companion in this job-seeking and
harrowing existence. Uncle Sola, a brother-in-law who
lived with us, was naturally a cheerful fellow but he was
weather-beaten by unemployment, which visibly
affected his personality. Our territorial job-seeking
covered Ilupeju, Ikeja and Isolo Industrial Estates
where the textile companies were strategically located.
We trekked all the ways, and still found the
perseverance to occasionally visit the zoo in way-out
Yaba to cheer us up. Whenever we went to Yaba, our
112
preferred route was along the railway line from
Oshodi. If our area of interest was in Ikeja Estate, we
would go through Arowojobe Street in the heart of
Oshodi, to the interior of Sogunle and come out at the
Shogunle Bus Stop. Sometimes if it suited us, we
would exit at Ladipo and then take our lonely route -
the railway line.
For me, many things recommended the railway
line: its quietness and straightness - confirming the
reality that the straight line is the shortest; the rats that
delightedly scurried across the rails every now and
then, and the clumps of thickets that used to adorn
both sides of the rail route. I loved the step-to-step
arrangements of the wood and iron bars that made up
the railways and which mostly determined our strides.
The whitish or sometimes brownish stones that filled
the gaps on the floors of the rails were also beautiful to
behold. But the serenity of the railway was also marred
by the fact that the surrounding communities of people
had turned it into a convenient avenue for waste
disposal, much of which contained raw human waste.
So at long stretches along the line, one had to fight to
breathe easily because of the stench that oozed in the
air.
I was so familiar with the railway routes that I had
accurate timing of their distances. From Oshodi,
through Shogunle, to Ikeja Industrial Estate was
exactly a thirty-minute pleasurable journey on foot.
And from Oshodi to Yaba Bus Stop, it was
approximately forty-five minutes.
113
Uncle Kayode Agbebunmi was another co-
traveller applicant with whom I would have
accomplished the most historic trekking exercise in
Lagos.
Our journey to Yaba, job-hunting, was, as usual,
unsuccessful; after which we decided to visit Uncle
Samuel Ayelabola in Ikeja and go on from there to visit
Uncle David Bankole at the interior of nearby Agege.
Even though I had no idea of the distance of the
proposed journey, I convinced Uncle Kayode to let us
trek it. At the time, the new Ikorodu, ten-lane
Expressway had not been constructed. There were
thick bushes on both sides of the existing two-lanes.
We had begun our journey along our favourite railway
line but a little after Mosalasi Bus Stop, we abandoned
the rail line and took to the pedestrian walk way of the
Ikorodu highway. We conversed and cracked jokes as
we trekked, oblivious of the world around us. The
animated conversation seemed to have taken away the
tedium of the journey. After Obanikoro Bus Stop,
almost opposite the Ilupeju Super market, I looked
down along the path and sighted a ten kobo coin lying
before me! As if it was about to disappear into thin air
I dashed for it, grabbed it and showed it to my Uncle.
That was how the Almighty God saved us from having
to trek all the way from Yaba to Ikeja that fateful day.
Such were our daily rather hopeless perambulations
throughout Lagos, and after several weeks of
unsuccessful attempts at securing a job, I wondered
what next I could do - go back home? I asked myself.
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Chapter 17
115
Winding Section. The Spinning Department spins the
yarns, passes them in cones onto the Sizing
Department, which, in turn, starches and rolls them
into “beams” of various sizes for onward transmission
to the Drawing Section.
The beams were of various sizes. We had the
1070's and the smallest size being the T.U.M's. Our
activities in the Drawing Section included loading the
beams onto trucks from where they were packed near
the Sizing Department, and pushing the trucks to our
own machine for drawing. Beams can indeed be very
heavy and, as Mr. Hu had rightly observed, my strength
was inadequate for the job. It took me some time to be
able to lift the smallest beam, the TUM.
On finishing our drawing activities, we then
passed on the beams to a depot where the Weavers,
with their own trucks or sometimes with ours,
transported them to any vacant weaving machines.
Excitement Indeed!
116
I Bag A Suspension!
No Right to My Income
117
Yes, it was true that brother Ajiboye was
instrumental to my securing the job. However it is
pertinent also to state that I was forbidden to take out
even one kobo from my wages. I must pass on the pay
packet to him en bloc whenever I received it. He was
not saving any of it for me either. But he gave me
transport money on daily basis.
The month following my suspension, I made my
intentions known to him and requested that provision
be made for my lesson fee from my wages. He would
not oblige. I was in a dilemma. Finally, I took courage
to deduct my lesson fees before passing on the rest of
the wages to him. He did not like this 'revolt' and
reacted by asking me to secure my own
accommodation. Our disagreement on the matter
dragged on for some time.
My Frustrations At Specomill
120
The second jolt of good news concerned a lady,
Edith Onyeka (now unfortunately deceased) who
passed the Stage 1 of the Royal Society of Arts (RSA)
London examination in Typewriting. She was soon
closely followed by Victoria Ikhile, who succeeded at
the same grade. This spate of successes spurred the
rest of us on as we realized that nothing could be
beyond us if we remained focused.
121
kept us focused about them was their (continued)
employment.
122
Chapter 18
I Left Uncle
'Safe's House
At the time that I enrolled at Ayedojo Secretarial
Centre, I was living with Uncle 'Safe, because my
brother, Ajiboye, had then returned to Iyin. Uncle Safe
and I were compatible in every way except on bedtime.
His latest time for bed was 10pm while I was used to
studying much later: sometimes I did not sleep until 3
am and, most such times, I slept outside. My stay with
Uncle 'Safe was therefore short-lived.
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passed both the 100wpm and 120wpm stages ahead of him.
Every step either of us identified as good, we both followed. We
joined the English Language course of Business Training
(Correspondence) College, London and completed it together
successfully.
Employment wise, we worked together at Lovell
Stewart Nigeria Limited (LSN). Later he left LSN to
join Unitan Construction Company in Anthony village
where, and sometimes, he slept in the office. From
there, he joined UpJohn a Pharmaceutical Company
located around Toyota Bus Stop along Oshodi-Mile-2
Expressway. Again, we narrowly missed working
together.
We registered once with the National College of
Commerce, Bariga, for evening classes. He was the
first to withdraw, I followed suit. Our quest for
knowledge continued apace and we joined the
Progresside Evening Classes at Mosalasi Bus Stop.
This time when I withdrew, he immediately followed
suit. We both studied at the United Christian
Secretarial College, Apapa, where I enrolled in the
1980/81 session. He joined me there the following
session, and we were both successful in the final
examinations. Ours was a twin or symbiotic existence
and whenever one of us was successful, the other
threw a party to mark it. We did not allow any room
for envy but rather emulated one another's good
qualities.
As I said, I had gone to live with Makaiva reluctantly.
My reluctance had been based, honestly, on tribal sentiment in
spite of my strong, natural attraction to him. But I am glad I
124
took the bold step of venturing out to break down a pointless
tribal barrier. I still wonder about what heights I would have
attained if I had not lived with Mr. Tombri when I did.
Makaiva's loving disposition erased for ever any consideration of
tribal sentiments from my life, so much so that our friendship
extended to his own siblings.
During the period we lived together at No. 5
Boladale Street, Oshodi, we organized private classes
for students including those preparing for fresh
examinations and those who had re-sits in secretarial
subjects. Some of our students then included Misses
Aminat Ayinde (now Mrs. Abe), Stella Njimanze, and
Justina. Nwogu. We taught them as much as we were
imbibing in our own studies. Makaiva led the speed
class while I handled the theoretical aspect. We
charged no fees, yet there were days I taught until I was
exhausted! Our major reward was that the exercise put
us on our toes at all times, thereby ensuring our
mastery of the subjects. This was great gain in the
circumstance.
Eventually, I was strong enough to rent my own
apartment and Makaiva and I lived apart for good.
Only God can reward him adequately for all he did to
make life easy for me. But I am also glad that today we
live together as neighbours where he and I have built
our own houses side-by-side!
Roll of Honours
133
Chapter 19
I Was Hypnotised
And Tempted Tool
I had funny and traumatic relationships and
experiences in my time. I once lived together with two
Hausa men (one a soldier, the other a civilian, both of
whom we simply called Alhajis). They lived together in
one room before ours at No. 5 Salawu Street, Oshodi,
for over two years or so. The soldier was a heavy
smoker of cigarettes, which he indulged in at night
behind our toilet building. Both Alhajis were very
friendly and kindly to everybody.
At the end of the first year, the civilian Alhaji
brought in a wife to live with them, but she did not
conceive. After some time, the Alhaji took another
wife who bore him a baby boy.
When our pit latrine became full, the landlord
decided to dig a new one in the open space between
the fence and the existing toilet. Incidentally it was
located at the spot where the soldier-Alhaji did his
smoking at night. One day, the pit latrine had been
dug to a depth of about eighty feet and was then
overlaid with some roofing sheets. Everyone in the house,
except the soldier, knew about this situation, because he usually
arrived home late in the night between 10 p.m. and 12 midnight,
often drunk. After he made straight for his smoking spot,
suddenly we heard a crashing noise as he apparently stepped
unsuspectingly onto the covering zinc sheets. The resounding echo
of his shouts “Allah, Allah, Allah!!!” as he fell to the bottom of
134
the pit woke up everyone in the house. Many of us were
already either asleep or dosing in our rooms. We all
rushed out to the rescue. A long rope used by the
diggers of the pit was located and lowered down the
pit. His military training came handy. He grabbed the
rope and tied it around his waist and under his arms.
This way, he was pulled out of the pit.
He had sustained serious injuries, outwardly and
internally, because blood came out of his mouth
whenever he spat. He was given first-aid treatment but
by the following morning, he could not stand on his
own feet. He had to be taken to a herbal home. For
some time, he got better but about three months after
the incident, he was dead!
But the civilian Alhaji and his first wife remained
in the house. I did errands for them willingly and they
were kind to me too. It was through them that I fell in
love with the meal, Tuwo Shinkarfar, taken with Nuru
soup. It is a very delicious Hausa meal. The wife was
also good at preparing delicious beans. Besides, the
Alhaji used to bring home the best of fresh cow or
ram meat which the wife cooked well. I always had a
great helping of the meat too. Alhaji also generously
gave me money. The two wives were very friendly.
One particular year, the Alhaji informed everyone
he was going on pilgrimage to Mecca and he duly left
with his wives. That was the last we say of them for a
long time, and eventually the Landlord had to let out
their room after storing their few belongings
somewhere else.
135
About two years later, on my way from school one
afternoon, I sighted Alhaji on the other side of Bolade
Bus Stop and hailed him. He was very glad to see me
again and immediately invited me to his new house. I
obliged him and we arrived at a one-storied building in
a street not far away from the point of our recent
meeting. We then climbed upstairs and he opened the
door leading into the sitting room where he welcomed
me.
But it was not a normal sitting room because it
was filled with some very voluminous Arabic Books, a
mat, a huge bowl filled with beach sand, a row of
assorted perfumes and all sorts of other things that
conjured bizarre thoughts within me!
I was indeed shocked but I kept quiet even in the
realization that I was in for some trouble. Alhaji
seemed to discern my uneasiness and tried to allay my
growing fears. He assured me that as a father, he
would only want to help me. He boasted of big names
he had already helped to became rich in life. He
dropped such names as the Abiolas, the Dantatas and a
host of other very prominent people in the society.
Then he requested for some money to buy some
perfumes with which he wanted to do something for
me. At this point, I was no longer myself. I plaintively
informed him that I was in fact looking for my school
fees and that I had little or nothing on me. However, I
searched my pockets and found a little amount which
was just enough to buy the perfumes. Painfully, I gave
it to Alhaji. He opened one of his stock of perfumes
and poured its contents into my palms. He advised me
136
to rub the liquid on my face, hands and body. I did as
he commanded willy nilly.
Next, he took out one of the big Arabic books,
tore off a piece of a plain sheet of paper, folded it and
enclosed it between the pages of the book. He then
asked me to kneel down and pray for whatever I
wanted. I prayed my desires, albeit, in Jesus' name. To
him, the mode and language of the prayer did not
matter.
After my prayers, he opened the book and
brought out the same plain sheet of paper he had
inserted into the Arabic book in my presence. Lo and
behold, the paper replicated everything I had uttered in
my silent prayers in black and white! It was in very
beautiful scripting and in my actual words! Besides, on
the same page metamorphorsed a beautiful talismanic
ring. A detail of the magical facsimile informed me that
all I requested had been granted. The actual requests
were spelt out. I had no problem with that
verisimilitude because I had prayed in Jesus' name.
But these disclosures were shackled with conditions
and claims I must accept in my life thenceforth
following God's favours I had apparently been granted.
It was at this point that the knowledge of the word of
God concerning temptations quickly came to my mind
to rescue me!
The first condition was that I should thereafter
regard Alhaji as my god and that his words would be
binding on me. I would worship his spirit too.
My immediate spiritual reaction was a silent
recitation of the Bible passage in Exodus 20:3 which
137
states: “You shall have no other gods before me”. So I
stood on the ground that the demand of this so-called
spirit negated the will of God in Exodus 20.5, which
says, “You shall not bow yourself down to them nor
serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous
God..”
The next hurdle was the claim of the devil-writer
that he was a spirit in the River Mississipi (USA). My
canceling reaction: the claim ran counter to Exo. 20:4
which says: “You shall not make to yourselves any
graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in the
heavens above, or that is in the earth, or that is in the
water under the earth.”
138
As I ruminated, the Alhaji was exhorting me to
take advantage of the 'golden' opportunity, otherwise, I
would risk sudden death.
Poverty Sets Me Free!
140
Chapter 20
The Thought
Of Tomorrow
Education, My First Priority
141
would be well in the end. The only way to overcome
the difficulty was to seek alternative employment.
Even though the human relations aspect of Jerriman
Travel was excellent, the volume of typing work I
coped with was far too much for one person to
discharge effectively. We did not close earlier than
7.30 p.m. daily. In fairness to the small but dynamic
company, it was a progressive organisation that
accepted and implemented good suggestions with the
utmost speed. An example of this outlook was when
my manual typewriter was replaced within one week of
my asking for a new electric one. So too, it accepted
my re-organised administrative procedures within the
month I joined the company. Another noteworthy
example of its dynamism was the speedy
implementation of my request for a supporting Typist.
Indeed, within one and a half months, the company
took full advantage of my administrative skills. In fact,
the Chairman, Mr. L.O. Ukeje (now of blessed
memory), had already discussed with both the
Managing Director, Mr. Jerry Nwosu and myself his
intention to convert me to an Administrative Officer.
But my reaction to this laudable plan was to decline the
offer because I knew it would be a serious obstacle to
my academic plans with its attendant responsibilities. I
was determined to attain the pinnacle of the secretarial
profession, broaden my work experience and make
myself financially strong to be able to pursue my first-
choice career of law (practice) and then other studies.
142
Tribal Considerations
143
examination in Office Practice and obtained a
certificate with credit.
The second interview was with Lintas Advertising
Company. Lintas was prepared to pay me well above
my Jerriman's consolidated monthly salary of N300.00
(three hundred naira). But I could not take up the job
because of the company's long working hours of
between 7.30 a.m. and 5.30 p.m. daily. It did not
correlate with my study programme and I foresaw no
likelihood of obtaining any study leave too.
144
advantage could be judiciously deployed for my
studies.
Second, United Christian Secretarial college's
study time began at 1.30 p.m Mondays and 3.00 p.m
(Tuesdays-Fridays). M.A.N., I hoped, might make a
time-allowance for me to start my lessons early. In any
case, notwithstanding its poorer conditions of service,
it portended the fairest opportunity of achieving
academic success, while working full time.
145
I Sought God's Help
146
been required to pay to signify my willingness to attend
the course.
147
I Obtained Study Leave
I Became a Unionist
151
Chapter 21
A Narrow Escape
From Death!
Hazards exist everywhere, including work-places,
even types with which danger would normally not be
associated. That's how circumstances of the seemingly
safest undertakings could lead to or inhere dangerous
occurrences or possibilities. That was the sort of fate
I almost suffered one day after I had been at sixes and
sevens in the office as to how to dovetail my work on
the day to accommodate my study programme. I was
saddled with a typing load I must finish before I caught
the 1.30 p.m. boat-ride from Marina to the Apapa-end
so I could get to my school in time for an important
afternoon test.
The time was 1.05 p.m. when I peeped through my tweltfh-
Floor, Unity House, Marina office-window at the Ferry
Terminal where the boat still lay at anchor. I had completed the
typing on stencils and I was just about to roll them out on the
stenciling machine. Since the central air-conditioners in my office
were as usual, not functioning, I opened the window for some
fresh air. Along the way, I had thoughtlessly placed the stencils
on the window ledge. Whereupon the usual Marina breeze
gushed in and, before I knew it, all the stencils were already
flying like kites out of the window, in all directions, down
towards the nearby buildings and adjoining streets. I was
appalled by the sudden turn of events.
The stencil s were seven vital pages of classified
information that brooked no leakage! It was the
customary yearly pre-budget Memorandum that
M.A.N. sent to the Federal Government. Like a
headless chicken, I flounced about down and up the
stairs, unfocussed about how to retrieve the flying
stencils from my 12th floor position! In that state of
frenzy, I still peeped through a window to ascertain
that the Apapa boat had not set sail. Then I rushed
152
back to my office, picked up the original
Memorandum and began re-typing… After five
minutes, I noticed that time was already 25 minutes
past one! Finally, I called my colleague, Mr.
Fagbenro, to whom I explained my situation and
he willingly consented to help. I sneaked out of
the office and raced down the stair case toward the
ground floor, not trusting or waiting for the lift. I
was determined to catch the 1.30 p.m. ferry or else I
would be delayed for another two hours and then
miss the test!
I ran as if on wings across the Marina to the
ferry gate as the boat began to drift off. With my face
virtually distorted with anxiety, the cashier quickly
issued me a ticket and I rushed out onto the
Lagoon deck. I waved frantically to the Captain who
sighted me and kindly reduced throttle to enable me
jump into the boat across a strip of water!
Which Ferry? The one I landed in was the smaller
Marina-Maroko boat; the Apapa ferry had broken
down. Since it was the only boat on the two routes, the
Captain decided to make it a Marina-Apapa-Maroko
trip, thereby lifting the combined commuters at the
same time. The result was over loading and the
boat was already listing! As we sailed, you could see
anxiety in all faces because most of us knew the boat
was dangerously overloaded. In no time, the seawater
was already overlapping into the boat and it began to
sink slowly with the flooding. Many people had
already removed their shoes; some, particularly the
women, were crying; the majority however were busy
bailing the water out.
I remained calm, although I thought that the end
had come for me. About the middle of the lagoon,
somebody screamed “Omiyalee” (the word, which was
in current usage, developed from the Ogunpa flood
disaster which claimed very many lives in Ibadan a
few months earlier.) It was an awkward attempt to
relieve tension but it turned out to be an expensive
joke not funny in the circumstance, to draw laughter
from the surrounding, agonized faces.
153
I looked steadily at the Captain's face, it gave no
sign of hopelessness. So I decided quietly to
rehearse the procedural use of the life-jacket as in an
emergency. Even though I could not swim, yet I
moved closer to the device so that I could grab the
nearest one. I imagined myself wearing one and
floating in the lagoon, flagging or flapping for
rescue!
To compound our dangerous situation, a big ship
was sailing in our path from the Apapa-end of the
Dockyard towards the terminal. As we were navigating
the same course, there was a possibility of collision.
In that eventuality, our boat would be in danger. As
it were, we were between the devil and the dee p
blue sea!
At the critical moment, however, the ship
slowed down for us to pass and in another
harrowing minute, we landed safely at the Apapa
quay!
I Left M.A.N.
In 1984, I left M.A.N. To join Ogilvy Benson ,
an adverting company located in Yaba. I worked
directly for the Executive Director Adminstration
(Ms Tola Olujobi). I did only one month at Ogilvy
Benson before I joined another company, a
multinational company, about which I cannot give
further details here because I have the principle of
not dwelling extensively on current occupations.
This stand stems from the fact that one is never
able to give a complete picture (which I am more
interested in) of a current situation that is not
concluded. So I prefer to write about companies
or people or places I have ceased to have dealings
with. In that way, I am able to give a fair and
complete account of my relationship with such
organisations and people. Unfortunately, some of
my friends will be disappointed here and I do most
sincerely apologise for this shortcoming. The
subsequent revisions of this book will give a
154
comprehensive and complete picture. Again,
although this book would have been richer in
content and wisdom, I think what I have narrated
so far is enough for those who will make it in life if
they learn to apply what we've already said and will still
say here after.
155
Chapter 22
My Marriage
My Visions of Marriage
156
have just lost a member that would have advanced its cause and,
above all, it is a sinful blight before God.
I had grown to recognize the difference between
love and sheer emotion or infatuation. I also knew
that love isn't blind, rather it is people who make or
construe it to be blind. I knew where to find these
facts of life. The word of God is rich and all-
encompassing and I was careful to align my feelings
with what the Bible says. I enriched my understanding
with the teachings of my Church and added my
common sense.
In reality, I had the wisdom of the practical case-
studies of the lives of my parents, my siblings, my
uncles, nieces and my friends. I read a lot of books on
marriage issues and discussed marriage openly.
After a seven-year research of the subject, I saw that its
success rested on compatibility. For my marriage to
work therefore, I had to find somebody on all-fours
with me on the fundamentals of life: equable mental
faculty, educational background, ambitious, visionary,
good temperament, objective, open-minded, humble,
hard working, patient, persistent, reliable, and so on. I
cast my net wide in the search for my type-cast partner.
I was interested in marrying a Christian by practice, not
a Church-goer. I disregarded the geographical barrier.
The girl I was looking for was to be my alter ego! If I
found one, I believed I would be at peace with myself,
my immediate and my extended families, my culture,
my town, my religion and other variables of life. If I
was not careful, any hasty decision would ruin the
beacons of my academic and religious pursuits. I
157
wanted a girl who would understand me and take me
for what I was. I wanted a truthful girl, not a selfish
gold-digger. I wanted a girl with whom to share my
innermost feelings without any foreboding of betrayal!
Above all, I wanted a godly woman who saw and
took life any way it turned out and who forged ahead
honestly, regardless of fruitless and un-ending
argumentation and disruptive nagging. Also, I wanted
a girl who chose good company and was not overly
fixated on her so-called bodily beauty. Yes, I have eyes
for both physical and character beauties, which are rare
and very difficult to find in a girl.
To be able to do all these, I had resolved that I
must stay with God, acquire a sound educational
background and be holding down a good job before
looking for the girl of my dream.
160
Based on my experience, unless a man wants to
deceive himself that he can remain pure above the age
of 25 years or so, I think my postulation in my book
“This Thing Called Marriage” that a man should get
married at 25 years of age or at the worst at 30 years is
well founded. Failure to set a time-table for marriage
can lead a man to frustrations and can affect his
spiritual life adversely!
161
Chapter 23
Time Up
for Marriage
As the Bible says, there is a time and a season for
everything. So it was that my time to look for a wife
was due. I did not embark on it, however, quite
willingly. My mother had been asking me grating questions.
She wanted to nurse my children and she felt I was old enough to
marry. She sang it aloud and in the secret. I heard her praying
loudly about it. Her carryings-on did not hasten me unduly
though. Whatever she felt about my maturity did not help what
I could do at my age. Preparedness to shoulder additional
responsibilities was more important to me. While mother and I
agreed that marrying was desirable, we disagreed on its timing.
External Influence
163
Where Would I Marry From?
Mary's Characteristics
168
Our Initial Fears
A False Prophesy
173
Chapter 24
Our Wedding
I Meet The False Prophet!
174
After first touring the township, we went to the
Olumo Rock. What fascinated me was that Abeokuta
was comparatively big, with a beautiful landscape that
looked more like Ekitiland in its rockiness! Then, one
of us wanted to visit someone and I gladly drove us to
the place. It was a one-storey building but the man we
visited lived downstairs. Behold, he was a prophet
dressed in a white robe with a white cap on his head
and about 1.3 metres tall! He welcomed us in the
midst of other people that were already there. The
man that followed us was the first to kneel down
before the prophet. He enquired as to whether
someone (a contractor) had been paid money for the
job he did! I was surprised by and displeased greatly
with this attitude. I became uncomfortable. The
prophet confirmed that the money had been paid but
postulated what would follow after that. He then
stated other conditions that would make the man
return to him.
The next persons that sought the prayers were my
own people! They too got their own portions of
revelations and conditions. But it was obvious to
everybody around that I was not impressed at all by the
seeming chicanery. However, to save the growing
embarrassment, I was persuaded to join the on-going
prayers too. I knelt down and it went on for a while.
After what seemed to me a pantomime, the revelations
began to come. My story from birth to date was
retold. My supposed future was revealed. All the
revelations tallied, of course, with all the previous ones
I narrated earlier. BUT he added that the original
175
profession that God had ordained for me was
soldiering and that if I had joined the military, I would
have risen very high and received an anointing for
power and authority!
I had no problem with that for, by my nature, I
always work with military dispatch and precision once I
am convinced of what I am doing! He moved gain to
the issue of my would-be partner. He said she was
pretty, of a good character and she would turn out to
be a very good wife. Although she would bear me
children, she, being an “emere” or “ogbanje” (familiar
spirit), would surely die after her third child! I then
reacted spontaneously by declaring that my Jesus
whom I serve did not promise me such a fate, which
declaration the prophet's quick concurrence settled!
Seemingly alarmed, Iyabo (my sister-in-law-to-be)
asked him what to do to avert the looming calamity.
The man promptly reeled out a list of items - a cock,
black soap, etcetera - everything amounting to N120.00
then for an atoning sacrifice!
But I was very much aware of what the Bible says
about false prophets who tell you things that will create
fear in you and so bind you unbilically to them! So I
was decided not to do or follow his prescriptions.
We Got Wedded
177
Chapter 25
178
Unhealthy Beliefs and Tendencies
181
At a point, I was affected by her deteriorating
attitude. Her joy had been my joy, her sadness mine.
But God controlled my temper so I was only disturbed
but not angry over the situation.
The pregnancy of our last boy, Olatunbosun, was
incubated within this stormy period of our marriage.
To aggravate the already bad situation, her elder
brother's wife who had recently given birth to a baby
boy died. I was hobbled with both having to get Mary
back to her real self and simultaneously consoling and
condoling her entire family over the recent death in the
family.
I was therefore worried for her psychological
disposition in her own pregnancy and the fear of a
miscarriage or complications to her health during
delivery. I was on tenterhooks.
At a stage, I changed tactics of therapy. I had
proceeded like a Pastor before, then I became both a
Research student and a teacher. I consulted many
available books on marriage in the attempt to diagnose
Mary's problems and discover a redeeming solution.
Daily, I verbalized to her, like a town-crier, my
assurance that she would establish herself in my home,
and that I cared for her. I assured her of God's
unwavering support and love for her and recounted
our enthralling past. I recalled vividly the beginnings
of our love and how we had successfully managed our
initial, teething problems. Our prevalent situation was
not different, I assured her. Above all, God was in
absolute control.
182
One night about 2 a.m., I woke up to find Mary
sitting on the bare floor with tears running down her
cheeks, I quickly jumped off our bed to her side but
her mumbled answers to my questions were lost in her
tears. I was troubled to my marrows. I helped her
back to the bed and began a fervent prayer session
while laying my hands upon her head. After all the
prayers, I re-assured her repeatedly until we were able
to go back to sleep.
Mary Recovered
183
Chapter 26
My Mother-In-Law
This is about the right stage to comment briefly
about my wife's parents.
My mother-in-law was one of the most reasonable
mothers I have ever come across. Naturally mothers
have first knowledge of their daughters' love life,
including issues of marriage. Through my early
relationship with Iyabo (Mrs. Abe) and her husband, I
had an easy link-up with my mother-in-law-to-be.
Thereafter, she took me as if I were her own child.
She tutored me early enough on what to do to avoid
the wrath of my father-in-law to be. She gave me
freedom to access the family, as often as I wished,
partly through my good friends, the Abe family. In this
way, I was able to appreciate her deeply.
The greatest contribution she made to my marriage was
shielding me from any attacks during my courtship. For over 20
years of our association until her death in August 2003, I never
had a moment of regret with her as my mother-in-law. Madam
Amudalat Ayinde never intruded in our marriage as some
mothers-in-law do in the guise of so-called 'love'.
As much as possible, she distanced herself from our day-to-
day relationship. Rather she prayed for us unceasingly. On the
few occasions she visited us, she was usually very brief and would
come in as early as 6a.m. with cooked food and gifts for her
grand-children. Within an hour or so, she would be gone. Like
my mother, apart from praying for us, she always expressed her
deep appreciation to us for the little we were able to offer her for
184
her comfort. Happily, she never witnessed any quarrel
between Mary and I throughout her life! May her
gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.
My Father-in-Law
187
relationship that has enabled our children to be close as
one big family.
188
Chapter 27
How We Manage
Our Marriage
I Preach what I Practise
192
I do believe that a man's home is a reflection of
his vision of it. I have always thought of my home as
one where my wife, my children, my mothers, my
fathers, my brothers and sisters and all segments of my
extended family are not only fairly treated but see
themselves being so fairly treated. This principle
touches friends too. I have always reassured my wife
that we could suffer some pains to achieve this. She
has stood by me.
My wife knew early enough in our marriage that
she was entitled to acquire real property in her own
name, but she had to be open in doing so. In other
words, she had to involve me whenever she went
about and performed such self-actualisations. I would
not welcome surprises. I too was obliged to so treat
her whenever I went about my own acquisitions. Our
transparency has, therefore, remained mutual.
Mary whole-heartedly accepted my all-inclusive
treatment of family members as long as I was able to
provide the means to do so. After all, she grew up in a
community of people and would not enjoy living
where people are not fairly treated.
I made some early pledges to her: I would be fair
to her at all times and would not obstruct anything that
would bring about positive development to her life.
She was free to improve herself academically; by the
way, she married me as a Secondary School Leaving
Certificate holder but today she is a University of
Lagos graduate in Accountancy. (Ironically, we
entered into the Universities of Lagos and Lagos State
Universities respectively the same year and graduated
193
the same year!) Besides, she is already engaged in the
Chartered Institute of Bankers examinations.
I also promised to provide for my home to the
best of my ability. While doing so, she would always
see my pay-slip and know how I spend all the monies I
earn. But to allow for flexibility, we would not operate
a joint account, although we would together do the
Family Budgeting. All these are the reality of our life
today.
I convinced her that she has actually been a
member of Omogboyega's family from the beginning
but only had sojourned awhile in her paternal (Pa
Ayinde's) family just as I had done in Pa Ilugbusi's
house. So, like the Ruth-Naomi relationship in the
Bible, my home is her home, my people her people.
Interestingly, our likelihood of conduct might have
been the case of why people see us as look-alikes
(albeit facially!). I have had to do a bit of research to
establish whether there is indeed any historical or
biological relationship between us from ancient times!
I found some notional connection. She hails from
Abeokuta. My maternal grandfather, Olayinka, the son
of Olatomi, hailed from Aisegba Ekiti. I have read in
one newspaper publication that Aisegba people are
descendants of a particular segment of Abeokuta.
They had left Abeokuta for Aisegba-Ekiti because of a
chieftaincy dispute. In their new settlements, they
disclaimed their origins thus, “A-a ki-i-se-Egba”,
meaning “We are not Egbas” which pronouncement
metamorphosed by malapropism into : “Aisegba”.
This is how far I have gone meanwhile but even now I
194
can claim with some measure of certainty that my wife
and I are consanguineously or ancestrally related!.
I re-emphasized to my wife that in the day-to-day
running of our nuclear family, she is next in command
to me. I let all those who live with me realize that
whatever affects my wife affects me too. Therefore,
there was no room for rudeness or allowance for those
oppressive traditions, which made a married woman
subservient in her own home to relatives of the
husband who could slap or disdain her without
repercussion.
As for succession to my estate, I am a strong
believer in making a written will. My wife has nothing
to worry about as to how I want my estate to be
managed whenever I die. I wrote my first Will at under
40 years of age and it has been revised over and over
again since then as occasion and significant events
compelled.
As I explained my concept of 'fair treatment' to
my family, my wife realized that my family does not
rate higher than herself. Reciprocally, she too has no
licence to abuse my relatives in any manner
whatsoever. They are family, not beggars. Thank
God, we detest abusive language in my immediate
family because such practice offends God and all that I
stand for. We know the lethal nature of the tongue
which, according to the word of God, “is the smallest
part of the body but it is the most powerful”. Instead
of abusing somebody in anger, we rather say the
opposite, and we have trained all our children and
those around us to do this from early on.
195
When there is a serious family issue to resolve
with any of my people, she understands that she has to
leave such matters exclusively for me to handle. Any
such issues should not be the basis for denying any
member of the family the necessities of life or for her
to develop negative attitude towards such a member or
members of the family.
To us, the word “family” incorporates the nuclear
and the extended. As far as I am concerned,
everybody (father, mother, step-mothers, brothers,
sisters, uncles, cousins, neighbors etcetera) contributed
one thing or the other to my upbringing. Truly I
cannot pay them all back for their goodness but I
would appreciate them in whatever little way in my
power. Therefore I have appealed to my wife that
whenever they are around, she should make them as
comfortable as possible, while it would be my duty to
meet their specific needs. It is in the execution of such
expectation that many self-centred women ruin their
marriages through insensitivity. But my humble wife
has succeeded through her acquiescent disposition, and
today she is a model in the family!
Another important issue in our relationship is the
importance of identifying with my origin, my culture, etcetera. I
have, for instance, stressed that no matter how rosy Lagos may be
for us, Iyin-Ekiti remains my fountain, as it is for my
descendants. Neither want nor favour will ever make my
children to claim Lagos or anywhere for that matter, as their
State of origin. Likewise, they can have dual citizenship of
countries in addition to that of Nigeria, but Nigeria remains
their natural origin. Whatever Ekitland is, is what I and my
196
children are and will be. We are grateful to God that Lagos, for
instance, remains a land of opportunities but Iyin is the
nurturing environment that, historically, will not reject me and
my generations, past and present. My family and I must form
part of her development. God willing, we shall have a place
there that will be our own home. We should frequent
the place at will. Knowing the powers that women
wield to formulate the perceptions of children, I have
appealed to Mary to please ensure that she does not in
any way discourage or divert my children from
patronizing their origins. It is their land and by the
special grace of God, nothing shall hurt them there.
Rather, she should herself commendably identify with
Iyin people and their culture for the children's
emulation.
Today, Mary speaks Ekiti dialect better and much more
fluently than I do! She understands the geography of
my father's farm, perhaps more than I do and mixes so
freely with my entire family that everybody thinks she
was originally from Iyin. The relationship between her
and my mother was as between mother and daughter.
Indeed she has been my mother's last child!
199
Mary has practicalised what I meant by fairness in
the family. Today, all those who lived with us accept
her as the Mummy and matriarch. They appreciate and
see her as God-sent. They reciprocate her good
gestures through ceaseless gifts, phone calls, visits, etc.,
by which they maintain contact with her. From the
comments I overhear and am told, Mary is a jewel of
inestimable value to the entire family. They shower
praises on her for the noble roles she's playing in the
entire family. To many, she is “Iya jeje” - the quiet
woman. Everybody in my family blesses Mary and her
children!.
201
Chapter 28
How We Manage
Our Finances
The issue of managing finances by a family is one
of the most fundamental issues that have built or
destroyed several homes. The lack of understanding of
how to manage homes financially is an unending
trouble to current day couples. It will continue to be
so for the foreseeable future!
However, to alleviate this problem and enable couples
to live happily together, there are three main theories
of managing financial resources to avoid jeopardy to
matrimonial homes. None of the three recommended
approaches is superior,one to the other.
First what is important is the underlying mutual
understanding that exists between a couple. They have
the essential need to co-operate with one another to
ensure the success of the method of financial
management they adopt to work for them. A sensible
couple should interchangeably try out periodically any
of the three methods as and when the subsisting
practice is failing to deliver on expectations maximally.
The switch or change-over must be mutually and
maturely managed to eschew any acrimony whatsoever.
In the end, they might be able to stick to the most
enduring method that aggregates the smooth running
of their home.
The first theory is about the husband and
(especially the working) wife maintaining a joint
202
account whereby they put all their incomes in the same
purse. And then decide together how and when to
disburse the common wealth.
This method requires total transparency as to the
incomes earned by the couple. They plan together and
do everything in common. Since the management of
money is a major source of problems between people,
the ability of any family to operate a joint account
successfully leads to a closer rapport between them and
invariably eliminates the scourge of suspicion totally.
However, its practice has remained very difficult.
This is because of the unfathomable changeability of
the human being, resulting from pre-marital
agreements and expectations being broken by character
changes after marriage. Add the fact of the strong
natural tendency to be in control of one's personal
affairs! Divorces, breakages and breakdowns do occur,
and the threat of them disrupts even ideal
arrangements. Wills get disputed or litigated after the
death of couples, and settlement for myriad
beneficiaries or interests can be messy. So along the
way, reality intervenes to stump or put asunder a bond
of good living! Particularly in Africa, by the peculiar
nature of family configuration and relationship, joint
accounting is the exception rather than the rule.
The second practice enables husband or wife to
have total control of their separate earnings but they
contribute pro rata to the upkeep of the house. The
main feature here is that there is flexibility and
freedom. It is not to say that the freedom is absolute
or that each partner is not financially accountable to
203
one another. It may work this way for instance: if the
couple is pursuing a capital project, the wife might take
over the responsibility of providing for the house such
as feeding, clothing, etcetera, while the husband's
income is expended upon such capital project. At the
end of the specific project, the husband resumes his
full responsibilities again and the wife reverts to her
previous role, whatever it might have been.
Another benefit is that this practice establishes the
man as the main provider for his home including his
wife. Though the woman contributes but her income
should not be a factor in running the home. But what
happens in the situation where the woman earns more
than the husband? This still does not change the
principle per se. The man only needs to be transparent
in his financial dealings with his wife. Once a woman
is so convinced, she willingly takes on responsibilities
that will benefit her family without complaint or
immodesty. However, it is important therefore that
the man seeks and strives continually to improve his
financial status so he does not degenerate eventually to
relinquishing his responsibility to and headship of the
family!
The weakeness of this method of financial
relationship and management is that the inherent
freedom could result also in gross abuse and lack of
transparency whereby married partners go their
separate lifestyles which probably results in broken
homes. Only a very compatible and transparently
honest couple can practice this method successfully.
204
(This is the method we adopt, for now, in our own
marriage and it is working perfectly for us).
The third financial management style is one
whereby there's an agreement between husband and
wife to jointly manage a certain percentage of their
incomes. For this, a joint account is opened. The
husband contributes a certain per centage (say between
60-70%) of his income while the working wife
contributes, say between 30-40% to the same account.
This arrangement is particularly good when a couple
decides to jointly finance capital projects such as
building houses, establishing businesses, paying school
fees of childen and so on. This ensures a common
understanding between couples that are in well paid
employment, and they are thereby left with freedom to
expend the rest of their separate incomes any way they
each like to do. .
It is also, perhaps, the most appropriate method
for a couple to start their marital life in that it allows
for them to truly understand one another after which if
successfully practised, they can progress to the second
method and from there to the first method, if need be.
This method is attractive as it provides appreciable
but limited freedom for either party to enjoy part of his
or her income while it enables the family to pursue a
joint vision, or such-like. However, where a couple is
not compatible, it may fuel or engender controversies
as to what extent any estate so jointly financed belongs
to the woman exclusively since, often, all relevant
documents bear only the husband's name. Also, a
partner may wish to withdraw midway through the
205
project, with the attendant reluctance or bitterness of
the other partner, thus creating an impasse or legal
debacle.
Like the totality of marriage itself, which is
humankind's greatest life's navigation, all three aspects
of accounting have merits and demerits!
206
our children's school fees, she comes readily to manage
the domestic front.
207
Chapter 29
What Makes
Marriage Successful is
Compatibility
“For every male, God has created a female who
is like him”- Yemi Omogboyega
209
Chapter 30
How We Manage
Our Children
I have a clear vision of how I want my children to
turn out to be in every facet of life. I also believed
that for such visions to be fulfilled, I had to start early.
My first vision for them is to know God. With that, I
know that they will be easy to manage. For this reason, right in
their conception, my wife and I had prayed for them fervently and
prophesied to their lives. I had the habit of feeling how they
kicked in my wife's womb and, in conjunction with Mary, we
spoke the word of God to them as they wallowed therein. I had
appreciated how active as foetuses they were although
sympathising with my wife who had no choice in the discomfort of
bearing them.
As the children were given birth to, we delivered
them in faith into the hands of someone who was
much stronger and knowledgeable than we were, my
late mother, Victoria Tomire. She took care of
spiritual values thenceforth. That was when we
worshiped with the C.A.C. (Oke Aanu Parish) at Orile
Iganmu, Lagos. Although I had my personal
misgivings with CAC as a church, I remained there
because of my mother and my Pastor, Owaseye (a.k.a.
Jesu L'oba). My mother would not brook changing
from the CAC church and in Pastor Owaseye, I
discovered what was missing in previous CAC pastors -
enlightenment. Pastor Owaseye's sermons were rich
210
and progressive. In the end, all my children, except the
last baby, were named in the CAC church.
My mother shepherded them through every
programme in the Church while at the home front I
demonstrated to them, as a ministration (morning and
evening): consistently - right mannerisms, attitudes
and prophetic statements to mould their upbringing,
even though they didn't understand what I was saying
for a long time. By the time they started talking, I sang
along with them, mimicking their joyful, though
imperfect renditions! And as they began their A,B.C in
the Nursery Schools, I introduced God to them in like
manner. We all flowed together and early enough!
However, one of them was markedly different,
energetic and very restless, and he got my hands full
indeed. At his own insistence, he started schooling at
the age of one, on the day his elder brother who was
two years old, started. We thought it was a joke but he
stayed the course with his brother until primary five
when they were about to secure an admission into the
Secondary School together. Then Apata Memorial
School which they were moved to, decided to separate
them, allowing the older one to go to JSS1 while
insisting, for age reasons, that the junior be enrolled in
primary six. In natural progression, until then, I
virtually nursed twin brothers in every way!
As the junior grew, his restiveness increased and
he disdained to sit down during praise worships. He
fiddled with every available electronics equipment in
the house, wanting to know what made them function.
When he and his elder brother went for the National
211
Common Entrance examination and he urged him to
let them pray before writing the exams, he retorted
thus “that is how you will be wasting your time praying
instead of doing first what you are required to do”.
Incidentally, his senior subsequently scored 501 out of
600 in the exam while he scored only 438! Whenever I
wanted to review his day's work in the school to guide
him, he would say, “Daddy, don't teach me; I know it
all”.
He disrespected his elder brother whom he would
not accept as his elder. When anything was to be
shared, he chose first and the bigger part as well. He
overrode his elder brother in all situations and
challenged him into a fight every time!
One day, we called his bluff and cleared a ring for
them to fight, in order to put an end to his constant
harassments and restore his brother's birthright!
Indeed, his elder brother thrashed him so thoroughy
that he actually ran for his dear life! Thereafter, he
acquiesced and accepted, as it were, the pecking order
of the family. We forced him to recognise that his
elder brother was not only entitled to the larger portion
of anything they had to share, it was his brother's
prerogative to share any such things between them.
Finally, as a mark of respect, he was henceforth to call
his elder, 'brother', whenever he addressed him but
this order he was not prepared to swallow, he
seemingly regarded as a bitter pill - no matter the
threats we subjected him to. In the end, I resolved that
the matter needed a spiritual solution, whereby we
212
made it a recurring prayer-point during the daily family
altar.
Nonetheless, he continually kept the entire
household on their toes and seemingly perpetually
conjured a noisy atmosphere, although no one could
pin him down to it as the perpetrator!. But his
youthful progress was ceaselessly remarkable.
When he was enrolled in the CAC Nursery School
which my mother chose for the children, he fought all
comers, disrupting school activities in the process.
When eventually they were moved to a more
organised Nursery and Primary School, he was expelled
within two weeks for being too restless, thereby
incorrigibly disturbing the peace of other children!
This development really alarmed us about him and
emphasised the magnitude of the challenge we faced. I
intensified the practice of committing him to and
feeding him with the word of God, as well as
cultivating his companionship with me. In the course
of this remedy, God apparently came to our aid and He
appeared to him in a dream which he himself related to
us the next morning thus:
216
Again, God took control. My son became
contemplative and the spirit of the Lord took hold of
him. He was opening up to me once more and we
prayed together often. Although he remained friendly
with my nephew, he shed the bad habits he had learned
from him. There soon was a dramatic improvement in
his academic performance. He began to score credits
rather than passes. That was the position when he
wrote his JSS.3 examinations, whereas his elder brother
had made distinctions in virtually all his papers at that
level.
However, by the time he was promoted to SS1, he
had fully regained lost ground. Whenever I dropped
him and others at school in the morning he would go
straight to a particular quiet classroom to read his
books. When the school authorities themselves
observed this constant resort, they most often left him
out of the morning assembly so as not to disrupt his
studies. When he subsequently wrote his first term
exam, he took first position which he maintained until
he passed out of SS3!. Like his elder brother at the SS2
class, he passed the GCE papers with flying colours!
When he wrote his SSCE/NECO exams, they were
walkovers! Not only that he came home with the best
student's prizes in four core science subjects like
Maths, Physics, and two others, he also obtained the
Neatest Boy's prize in that academic year. His elder
brother had obtained 5 of such prizes in the core -
science subjects and topped it with the prize for the
best overall student! I was glad to fly down from
Abuja on the day of the graduation ceremony,
217
purposely to attend his valedictory service. I am proud
of him (nay, them)! He had become so focused and
competitive that one day he dared his elder brother
prophetically in my presence, thus:
218
blessed us with (including those who are not our
biological children but living with us).
If only for the transformation of this boy, I thank God
for my decision not to put my children in the hostel
early in their lives. Whatever they missed by not being
in the hostel cannot be compared to the balanced
education (spiritual, academic and home training) they
have been able to receive from us as their parents.
Again, by the kind of environment God has granted us
the grace to create in our house for children, any child
who steps into our house, stands automatically
transformed academically, morally and socially, because
he or she becomes inured to hardwork, godliness and
sound moral grounding!
No doubt they become children of God as well as
assets, not only to themselves, their families, their
employers in the future but to this Nigeria and, of
course, the world at large. Spiritually, nothing stops
them from becoming top-class Ministers of God, in
addition to their secular callings. This is because we
have been consistent in their mentoring and
upbringing, from which they would not depart.
Indeed, the impact of our process of godly character-
moulding will manifest in subsequent pages.
219
Chapter 31
I Begin to Experiment
223
early nor too late to write autobiographies. People are
interested in reading about other people…”
A big and recurring challenge was having to write
and re-write many times whatever I wrote. Initially this
effort was in long-hand and it was certainly tedious for
me. Later, I had access to manual typewriters with
which I typed the hand-written scripts. Then through
my Secretarial occupation, I was relieved with electric
typewriters, which gave me neater copies. Then came
the early Word Processors, which, for the first time
ever, helped to save my scripts as well as make editing
easy.
After eleven years of toddling efforts, I thought I
had produced an acceptable draft (as adjudged by all
those who read it). The big question was who would
publish it? As I contemplated this in 1992 or
sometime earlier, I saw a newspaper advertisement by
the Ilesanmi Publishers in Akure, inviting good scripts
from prospective writers. I quickly dispatched mine to
them by registered mail, which they promptly
acknowledged with a promise to get back to me after
scrutiny. When this promise was not forthcoming, I
made a follow-up trip to Akure but unfortunately,
Chief (Mrs.) Ilesanmi who had the final say was not
available.
I came back to Lagos in frustration. It was while
I fiddled that personal computers were introduced and
I was lucky again to have access to one by which I
quickly transferred my manuscript to a diskette. It
began my progress towards realizing a publishing
career. At a point, I used the computer to print the
224
contents and contracted out the printing of the back-
cover to a Printer-friend. I was able to produce just a
few copies. Later, a professional printer made plates of
the contents by which finally, one hundred or so copies
were produced at a token fee.
That was how I accomplished my publishing goal.
But I gave the books as tokens to all those I knew
would benefit from it. The feedback I received from
them encouraged me very much and it gave me the
greatest booster which spurred me to publish this
current edition in 2005.
225
Chapter 32
The Emergence
Of The Current Edition
Updating my Scripts
226
Fagbohun: Please sir, do you still have a copy of
your autobiography which you gave to me sometime
ago?
227
To me, that was a major call to produce this (2nd)
edition.
228
with the paper covers! I appreciate this personal touch
very much.
229
Chapter 33
Publishing
My Scripts
But having related what good works could
achieve, it must be stated that having them published
had become a problem. Most publishers only consider
scripts that would yield them instant profits. In the same spirit,
they would rather solicit for and publish the life histories of highly
successful people like the Bill Gates of this world, the Rotimi
Williams, the Soyinkas, the Lord Dennings, the Chinua
Achebes, The George Bushes, The Bill Clintons and a host of
other renowned public men whose names ring a bell. They will
go to the graves of Williams Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, and
Abraham Lincoln, and a host of other past but very successful
leaders to re-echo their works to the present day generations.
Those are where the immediate profits lie for every publisher who
will not accommodate the likes of the yet-to-be-known Yemi
Omogboyegas of this world, even with riveting manuscripts and
interesting stories.
Of course it makes good business sense to take
such route, for no business wants to put its money
where the chances of making a tidy profit are
uncertain.
But, to new writers, this is a hurdle to jump before
they can come to limelight. That is the challenge before
me.
However, I have always seen opportunities in
adversity. Since I believe in myself, I should be
prepared to invest in myself. I do believe my stories
230
carry substance, for which, I stake my all to get them to
the target audience!
Therefore, this has been opportunity to turn a
seemingly unfavourable situation to my own advantage.
That's why I resolved that I would not only publish
and market all my works myself, with my own
resources, I will continue to do so until reputable
publishers will run after my scripts! Meanwhile, if I
lose, I lose; if I gain, I gain all! As I write, I strategise
simultaneously as to how to finance its production.
That was how I have published “Better Tomorrow”
(1st Edition in 1992) followed by “This Thing Called
Marriage” in 2001/2003 “A Gallery of Positive
Thoughts” in 2003 with the financial assistance of
friends (names I have acknowledged somewhere in this
book), “Family Budgetting, A Must for Your Home”
and now, this - “Better Tomorrow” (2nd Edition) in
2005.
But, keeping the publishing pace with the rate at which
I write had begun to pose some problems because my
literary capability had enabled me in the past to sustain
the writing of different books at the same time, apart
from putting some two or three other completed
books in reserve. I had to consult friends and relations
for a way out.
Recently, I met a topmost Executive of a multinational
company who confirmed that he has been seeing
(unknown to me) my works in the marketplace.
He wanted to know how I had been able to publish my
books and whether I have been covering my costs. I
explained to him what I have just said but emphasized
231
that in the past, what mattered to me was reaching out
to people whose positive feedback had been quite
encouraging and inspiring. He gladly told me how to
find local and international publishers who would
relieve me from the financial burden. Indeed, he
promised to always supply me the necessary
information about the international do-gooders
whenever it was available to him!
Such attitude has been a fountain of inspiration and
encouragement to me to continue to write but also a
relief in knowing of an existing opportunity out there
that would undertake to publish my works without
further stress to me.
Meanwhile, I am developing enterpreneural skills
through my self-help efforts in the publishing industry
which are invaluable assets to me in other spheres of
business.
I Got Sponsors/Publishers!
233
Chapter 34
234
was reflected in my writing. I was young in such issues
as marriage, nuclear/extended family management,
child rearing or home economics in which I had
practised barely a few years when I wrote the first
edition but after two decades of marital exposure at
which point I had written the book “This Thing Called
Marriage”, I had to have a better offering!
That's why, as I stated before, my hopes are
palpably high about the feedback I would get from
concerned readers whose lives need a boost and a new,
happier direction or purpose.
235
Chapter 35
God's
Faithfulness
I had challenged God as I stated earlier, to spare
my life, when death threatened, so that I might see the
results of my numerous examinations. He was indeed
kind to me towards the tail end of 1981 when the
results began to trickle in.
First, before the end of my second term in the
United Christian Secretarial College, I received the
result of the Pitman Shorthand Speed at 120wpm test
which I passed. Shortly thereafter, the result of the
exams with the Royal Society of Arts, London, in the
much-needed Office Practice Stage II was also
successful. From then on, it has been success after
success.
In summary, I passed virtually all the 39 subjects I
offered in the different examinations - that is, GCE,
RSA, Pitman and the final result in the United
Christian Secretarial College!
When I was leaving the United Christian
Secretarial College, I was the proud possessor of
Pitman 120 and 130w.a.m in Shorthand and the
College's Diploma. The following year, 1982, I made
RSA Shorthand speed at 140w.a.m, thus bringing my
Typing/Shorthand qualifications to 50/140 words a
minute.
236
With these certificates, I returned to the
Manufacturers Association of Nigeria with gratitude to
its top Management (including Dr. Uma Oke Eleazu,
Mr. Tunji Olajide and Mr. Uzor Okeke (now late). I
was later promoted to the substantive position of a
Personal Secretary to the Executive Director, Dr.
Eleazu.
Apart from that promotion, thanks to both Mr.
Olajide who recommended it and Dr. Eleazu who
approved, I was granted a loan of N4,812 (four
thousand, eight hundred and twelve naira only) with
which I bought my first ever, a brand new Volkswagen
Beetle 1500cc car! That was on April 24th or so in the
year 1982. Let me add at this juncture, with gratitude
to Dr. Eleazu, that he was actually the person who
triggered off my interest to own a car at that time by
offering to sell to me cheaply, his own air-conditioned
504 car! I opted for a Volkswagen Beetle because I
was very particular about owning a new car.
Appealing as all these elevations might be to my
reader, I left the Manufacturers Association only barely
one year after. I could not stay longer, not only
because the opportunities to grow abounded
elsewhere, but perhaps because that was how God had
destined my sojourn in the Manufacturers Association
of Nigeria to be; indeed I had vowed that I was not
going to stay in one place for poverty to catch up with
me again!
As I was concerned with my own growth, so was I
deeply and emotionally committed to the progress of
my brother, Ajiboye and my sisters. My vision of
237
success embraced mine as well as those of the entire
family.
About six months before I purchased my car, my
brother, Ajiboye, had acquired a 14-seater Litehace
bus (thanks to Uncle Ayelabola's wife who made this
possible through her brother, Jide)on hire-purchase
terms. The bus made commercial runs within Ekiti-
land but touched Lagos once in a month strictly to
make installmental repayments as they fell due. The
vehicle cost N3,500 but it was given to Ajiboye for
N7,000 on the hire-purchase terms. Ajiboye had paid
about N3,000 out of the N7,000 when misfortune hit
him on the 12th day of March, 1982. The vehicle was
involved in a serious road accident which completely
wrecked it and led to its remnants being sold off as
scrap. Ajiboye narrowly escaped death in the accident.
He was a guest of the University Teaching Hospital,
Casualty Section, Ibadan for a long time!
As often happens in poor economic circumstance,
this catastrophe had a domino effect on our entire
family. I was particularly devastated, knowing that
Ajiboye would have to start life all over again. Things
had totally fallen apart for him.
While we regretted the loss of his vehicle, we were
thankful to God for sparing his dear life. Soon though,
we were celebrating the purchase of my own car, even
if under the shadow of mounting family debts. At the
time too, it was not very well with my two sisters
either. Fehintola, my eldest sister, had lost her
husband while in Julianah's case, she was neck-deep in
personal debts and scared of a looming public disgrace!
238
What could have been my mother's joy was
instead dotted and soured with escalating debts she had
to help settle. The circumstance rather aged her, so
that she needed more medical care and sustenance, as
well as personal assurance. This development greatly
handicapped me, reducing my ability, not only to
operate at my spiritual best but to care for Mum as I
had vowed to do in my life. The situation also
affected, negatively, the welfare of my nuclear family.
But my faith remained firm in God Almighty whom I
believed would certainly turn the situation around for
good.
Uncertainty
240
will continue to plan, provide for and protect your
life's work and progress.”
I had hope! So I tried my hands on many
things thereafter, including an application to join the
Nigerian Navy, which failed. However, precisely two
weeks before the expiration of my tenure in M.A.N., I
secured a job as a Confidential Secretary with
Ogilvy Benson and Mather, an advertising
Company based in Yaba as earlier reported. My
immediate boss then was Ms. Tola Olujobi. This
timely occurrence confirmed to me that God was
still on my side as ever and that He would not
allow me to be put to shame.
241
Chapter 36
Nigeria's
Contributions
To
My Achievements
Nigeria Is Good
248
Chapter 37
A New Career
Vision Emerged
“My immediate concern now is
To make a choice
Between being a "lake"
And a "flowing river"
249
there could be a People's Assembly. The last
alternative was being an expert Human Resource(s)
practitioner- a profession I loved because one way or
the other, it has to do with solving people's problems. I
particularly love the industrial relations aspect because
it blends with my desire to know much about people's
rights in the workplace.
I have always admired and regarded Lawyers as
wise people with poise, who have a good command of
the English Language. They epitomised my ideal
society wherein justice and fairplay prevailed. I hate
cheating. Such feeling had underlined my earlier
involvement in active student unionism while in the
Secretarial School and, even much later, when I had the
opportunity of working for another organisation as an
active member of the Senior Staff Association. I do
believe that unions should see themselves as partners
in progress in an organisation but not equals with their
employers. I believe that only facts, no longer might,
should be relevant in the process of collective
bargaining. Beyond that, if any employer was
recalcintrant and reluctant to accept irrebuttable
evidence laid before it, then labour was free to employ
all the legal provisions available to improve the lot of
the workforce. Likewise, if an organisation's position
was transparent enough, it would be foolhardy and
irresponsible for union officials to instigate a strike
action.
My experiences in students and trade unionism
have, however, shown, most often, the phenomenon
of power play and politics because of selfishness on the
250
part of some leaders. For the same reasons,
unfortunately, this politics and powerplay is not even
excluded in some houses of God! Nobody seems to
recognize that God can do anything for him or her.
Rather manipulations are the order of the day. There
will be shockers in heaven!
Another consideration for change was so that
whenever I left paid employment, I could transit easily
to the chosen career seamlessly as my own employer.
Since the opportunity to read law appeared not to be
immediately feasible then, I opted to enrol with the
Institute of Personnel Management of Nigeria where I
passed all their three-stage examinations to become a
certified HR expert. Again, to be on the side of the
people, I specialised in the Industrial Relations aspect
of the practice. My thesis was titled “The Effect of
Government Intervention in Trade Unionism in
Nigeria…” using a multinational organisation as a case
study. About the time I was completing the IPM's
training, I still felt thirsty to read law.
To keep the hope alive, I therefore first enrolled
for the Diploma in Law programme in the 1990/91
session at the Lagos State University where I went on
thereafter to complete a six-year course for the LL.B
(Hons.) Degree in Law and the Bar examinations at the
Nigerian Law School. My experience at the University
was rather long and turbulent for the reasons to be
explained shortly.
251
Chapter 38
My Sojourn
At The University
A Taste Of The Law
My Joy
My Frustrations
253
I Meet Mr. Fagbohun
256
We parted ways but, for sometime again, I never
bothered to go to LASU although I kept abreast of
events until the admissions list was published. When I
learnt that the first admission list was published and
my name was not there, I was consoled that another
list would soon be out so I had to exercise some
patience.
The second list was out but my name was missing
from it too. Worried, I went to LASU several times to
consult the then Law Faculty Co-ordinator, Prof. Mike
Ikhariale. He assured me that I would be contacted if I
was admitted. As a professional HR Practitioner, I
understood that such statements lacked merit.
Then I decided to see Mr. Fagbohun for
assistance. He was very solicitous and assured me that
by God's grace, things would work out in my favour.
He advised me to leave matters in his hands. Indeed
he later secured my admission. That's why I will
forever be grateful to him and his friend, Mr. Mustapha
, for all they did for me without any strings attached. I
consider it a divine favour of the Almighty God!
Mr. Fagbohun's goodness to me did not end there.
In the course of the degree programme, he did not
spare himself to assist me. I remember the period
when I had difficulty making sense out of the Law of
Evidence despite the excellence of my wonderful
lecturer on the subject, Mr. Collins Enesha. Mr.
Fagbohun had to sit me down in his office for over an
hour to review the subject with me in its totality. It
was such patient tutoring that enabled me to assimilate
the subject and fully understand what the statement
257
“the fact-in-issue” meant in the legal sense. Initially it
was very confusing to me.
Again, his organisation of an international seminar
on Environmental Law in 1997 opened yet another
chapter in my life as it was the first time, as a
participant in that conference, that I became fully
exposed to the environmental complexity or in
particular, the general legal aspects of it. This
awareness and experience led to my choosing to write
my final research project on it with Mr. Fagbohun as
my Supervisor. My experience with him as my
supervisor again proved to me how thorough Mr.
Fagbohun was in scholarship. We had to brush aside
any form of closeness we ever had during the exercise.
I was thoroughly drilled and made to know my onions
before my script was accepted. And the day he finally
approved my project was like the day a long-time
prisoner is granted a presidential pardon! I fully
appreciate him for it.
259
Our Computer Lecturer (name I cannot recollect at the
time of writing) was a very thorough man. Mr. Fakoya
took us in The Use of English. The easy-going lady,
Mrs. Adesanya (who later became a Judge of the Lagos
High Court) did Contract.
The famous “Mama Susu” who taught us on the
Law of Torts will be remembered for her constant
exhortation, “you all matriculated together but don't
necessarily have to graduate together. I want to
produce lawyers who would be able to stand boldly
before renowned legal luminaries wherever they go. If
you scored my 1.0, you will surely be able to do that.
Once you are able to scale my subject and Professor
Smith's Land Law, you are rest assured that you have
graduated from LASU”. Indeed our final results
showed that she meant every word she uttered because
a considerable number of students had carryovers and
some eventually only passed her paper in their final
year! As for me however, I took her words as a big
challenge. Thank God I escaped her stricture. I am
not aware that anybody in the history of LASU Law
Faculty had ever recorded more than a 3.0 in her Law
of Torts, up to my own time. It might happen some
day, before she retires but that will surely be a
Herculean task because the Mama Susu that I knew
was rather very uncompromising!
However, except for the low volume of her tone,
lecturing was down-to-earth and as exciting as it was
interesting.
Professor I.O. Smith, popularly known as “1.0
Smith”, because he marked many students 1.0 in his
260
subject, as aforementioned, handled Land Law. He
taught clearly and was a very punctual and regular
lecturer. His explicatory skills were fully demonstrated
in his two books, namely, “Land Law In Nigeria” and
“Practical Approach to Land Law in Nigeria” . They
teach Land Law from elementary level to the most
professional standard, providing all the tools required
to make the best out of the subject. The main
difference between the two books is that every word in
the smaller book, “Land Law in Nigeria” is very
pregnant while the second book “Practical Approach
to Land Law in Nigeria” is not only very detailed, it
ensures that all the foetuses in the smaller book are
safely delivered, thereby leaving no room for
speculation or darkness about land law in Nigeria.
As complex and fundamental as Land Law is,
Prof. Smith could award a 5.0 (the maximum score) if a
student merited it. Land Law turned out to be one of
my best subjects although in the first semester exam, I
recorded a zero in it! This happened to me not
because I did not prepare well but simply because I
missed the part (a) of a question in the exam so that all
my subsequent answers to (b), (c) and (d) parts were
all adversely and terminally affected. That was the
peculiarity of Prof. Smith for you. Whenever he sets
his questions, your answer to the first part may earn
you his full marks or a zero. So you needed to analyse
a question fully before ever attempting to write your
answer; otherwise, you would be fatally destablised in
all the rest. To him, it was simply a make or lose affair.
For this reason, he warned students to, in their own
261
interests, steer clear of his essay questions because he
was very difficult to please thereon. So if a student was
foolhardy enough to plunge into such an area,
whatever the result was, he or she was on his or her
own.
Now comes my able, Law of Evidence lecturer,
Mr. Collins Enesha. Though comparatively young, he
measured up to the likes of Prof. Smith, both in his
delivery and marking. He took the trouble to ensure
that students understood him but warned regularly
thus: “Even when you take the horse to the stream, it
may refuse to drink. Some people destined to fail will
fail, no matter what a lecturer does to encourage him
or her to succeed, because he or she will not give it the
seriousness it deserves to pass. To such students,
when the chips are down, I owe no apologies. Before
the exams, I will do all within my capacity to lecture
very well and I will encourage students to come for
clarifications on aspects they don't understand but
once the exams have been written and you refuse to
cross River Jordan, your result shall be your result. I
will read everything, including your punctuations, so
that I will satisfy myself that I did what is right”.
To me, Collins had been a natural and gifted lecturer.
Prof. Adaramola
Mr. Odum
Mr. Sofowora
Mrs. Ipaye
269
Chapter 39
A God-Sent Driver
During my 400 level at LASU, it became obvious
that I had not been kind to my body by the excessive
daily driving exercise I undertook and endured. This
soon manifested itself with excruciating pains around
my waist, and a more concentrated pain on the left
side of my stomach. This spread to my spine and it
became very unbearable. I went for various medical
check-ups and the area around my spine, waist and my
tommy was x-rayed and even scanned. The first
examination of the x-ray revealed that there was a
slight bending of my spine, especially on the left side. I
attributed this to my excessive clutching while driving
and the fact that the seat of my Datsun car was
uncomfortably bevelled and I had tried to correct its
positioning a number of times. I was treated and the
pain subsided then. However, shortly thereafter, the
pain resurfaced, usually after some driving. On the
average, I covered approximately 110km every day and
60km every Saturday or Sunday. The distance might
not have been the problem, but the constant traffic
gridlock which was stressful to health.
Finally, I had to engage the services of a
professional driver! My experience with the first driver
was however unsettling. He was uncouth and a victim
of his domestic problems, which made him to lose
concentration even at top speed! He finally gave me an
unpalatable 'present' one of my birthdays, July 22nd,
270
when he woke me rudely from a tired sleep after the
day's work as he battled with the car, zigzaggedly
toward the concrete divide at the Anthony Bridge
apron along the Gbagada-Oshodi Expressway. Before
I could comprehend fully our dangerous situation, he
had lost total control and the car hit the culvert with a
crunchy dive, thereby exploding one of the front tyres
of my Mercedez Benz 230 car before, mercifully, we
came to a jolting halt! That accident effectively ended
my employer-employee contract with the driver.
Then I reverted to driving myself but soon my
backache returned more painfully than before. Yet I
was afraid of engaging another driver and foolhardily
kept on managing to do so to the detriment of my
health.
But my suffering fortuitously ended when I had to
go to my hometown on a week-end to attend my
younger brother's wedding. For the distance, I had to
engage, on an ad hoc basis, someone (this time, one
Mr. Mukaila) who was himself jobless at the time. He
drove excellently and safely throughout the period.
Impressed with his overall manner, I asked him about
his antecedents and he confirmed that he had just been
released from a contract employment with an oil
company for which he had worked several years. I
then informed him that if he was willing to accept my
offer (which would surely not be as high as his
previous earning), I was prepared to employ him
permanently. He agreed and became my driver, a
relationship which covered three crucial years of my
life.
271
On joining us, Mr. Mukaila - a 55 year old man, a
highly disciplined Muslim and a lover of children, not
given to laziness - worked with me so well that he
eventually became a member of my family. I trusted
him with my children to anywhere. He was a good
family man who did all within his capacity to train his
own children. He never looked at his watch once he
started his work and his driving was smooth and
consistently safety-conscious. I was so impressed that
within the three years he worked with me, I had
doubled his starting salary through gradual increments.
He made my life easy for the rest of my academic
pursuit, during extensive night driving and at week-
ends. My children, my wife, everybody in my
household, loved him very much.
Another unique thing about Mr. Mukaila was the
fact that he did not have the bad habit of frequently
requesting for salary advance! He was contented with
what he earned and managed it reasonably well.
Fortunately for him, at the beginning of his fourth
year with me, he secured a better appointment and had
to leave us. Even after he left, he was very active in
trying to source for a good replacement for himself. I
appreciate this good man, especially for the peace he
gave me throughout that turbulent period during which
an upset was capable of tearing me apart, healthwise.
272
Chapter 40
My Experiences
As A Student-Worker
Working and studying at the same time brought
me many challenges, such that I had to live strictly - a
lifestyle that curtailed my relationships within my
nuclear and extended families as well as my social and
spiritual activities.
It affected my friendships and impacted, adversely,
on my health - indeed my total being. This state of
existence had its good and bad sides. On the one
hand, I gained intellectual improvement as a good
human capital for the employment market. I was
exposed to the latest technological developments that
made life much easier for me: e.g, access to palm-tops,
mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets that made
the achievement of several goals feasible
simultaneously. (This explains my attachment to such
gadgets even as I write this book!) They made life easy
for me. For instance, with my Psion's Series 3a & 5, I
was able to continue with my various presentations -
typing, excel sheets etc - outside office hours, and
wherever I was in the car, the airplane, in public
transport, in the toilet, on my bed, etc, etc. Also the
fact that these gadgets were operated on ordinary
batteries eliminated the need for dependence on
electricity, which was more predictable in terms of
supplying darkness than light. All I needed to do was
273
to download the stuff from my main computer to the
palm tops and continue my work outside the office.
The next morning, I would download the updated
version back to the computer and then produce the
final copy, ready for submission to my boss. This way,
I did not suffer any set-back in my official capacity.
Neither did my academic aspect suffer too. My first
set of Multilinks land phone cost me N171,000 (one
hundred and seventy one thousand naira) while the
mobile one cost me N151,000 (One hundred and fifty
one thousand naira only): both purchased on a credit
basis. I did not mind these seemingly exorbitant prices
then, because I needed to communicate, if need be, 24
hours daily. Because of the need to enjoy latitude, I
migrated to the use of the Thuraya phone sets but only
to discover that, because they charged in dollars, I
could not sustain its use. Thank God for the
introduction of GSM phones, which have today
plugged virtually all the avenues the older phone
companies employed to thoroughly exploit Nigerians.
The way I was able to manage my busy
circumstance of a working-student gave exemplary
leadership to my entire household, so much so that a
reading culture was fostered among my wife, children,
nieces, nephews and other dependants. As I said
earlier, my wife and I graduated the same year,
2000/2001 academic session - she, in Accountancy and
I, in Law. The same year one of our children, passed
out of Secondary School with flying colours. Beside
winning the top prizes in five core science subjects and
also the prize for the best-behaved boy in his set, he
274
had been the School's Prefect. The following year,
his younger brother, performed similarly very well. He
too won the best prizes in four core Science subjects
and topped them up with winning the prize for the
overall neatest student in the whole school that
academic year!
During the period, I was able to network with
good people whose homes thereby became my home.
It was then I met Mr. & Mrs. Wahab, who were
respectively employees of the Lagos State University
and the Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education,
Ijanikin. While their home virtually became mine,
Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education also
became my reading spot.
So was my relationship with Rev. & Deaconess
Asaju who both work for the Lagos State University as
well. Their home too became my home. With
Deaconess Asaju heading the Law Library, I had
uninterrupted access to the library materials at will, of
course following laid down procedures.
Mr. Ferdinand Ojiemen was my Tutorial Lecturer
who chiefly was responsible for my indepth
understanding of ALL my courses from 200 to the 600
levels of my Law School courses at LASU.
Mr. & Mrs. Ajayi were also in the network of
happy second or alternative homes for many fellow
students who have remained my close friends. So was
Mr Remi Fatunase (now the Registrar) of the French
School, Badagry. With him, I was able to have access
to the serene study environment of the French school
where I studied during week-ends.
275
I owe all of them a deep gratitude. I equally had a
rough passage while always on the road, day and night.
On one occasion, I ran into a gang of armed robbers
along Governor's Road, Ikotun about 9pm while
returning home from LASU. God saved me and
Bimpe Adewale, a Youth Corp member, who was in
the same car with me.
276
Chapter 41
My Spiritual
Life (1)
As I grew up, I queried every axiom of life.
Religion was one particular area where I went into
extensive research to convince me of the need or
necessity to serve God at all!
While my research confirmed that God exists, I found Him
too awesome, big and complex to be subjected to human scientific
proof. So I had to draw the curtains on my research in order not
to present myself as either faithless or agnostic.
However, that did not stop me from doing a comparative
study of the various religions, as a result of which I chose to
remain a Christian. So I am now competent to speak
elaborately on Christianity to which I belong.
But I am not satisfied with the fact that there are many
denominations in Christianity. Why, for instance, can't we be
one Church as in the beginning and then have branches of it all
over the world? I have since discovered that achieving universal
Christian unity (or ecumenism as currently packaged) is an
impossible mission because churches are now founded on their
founders' convictions or callings in the different dimensions of how
God Almighty allegedly allowed them to establish the
denominations!
That I remain a Christian in this unresolved disunity is
strictly due to my conviction that there is no superior
alternative.
I came to this conclusion after reading so much
about the origins of several of the religions I was
277
privileged to research - their bases, their doctrines, and
so. I am shedding more light on my adventure into
religions to enable my readers emulate me and be able
to hold on to what they consider to be the best choice
rather than tie their faith to mere religious inheritance.
The issue of salvation is personal to everyone.
While seeking the benefit of my readers, yet, I
cannot fully digest the contents of my research into the
religions of this world in a book of this nature. If I did
so, I would depart from the objective of my auto-
biography which is to lift the spirit of my readers
towards achieving good successes in life rather than
enmesh them in unending, seeming eschatological
arguments.
However, I have endeavoured to explain briefly
the religious concepts that are common to our
environment here in Nigeria.
Christianity
278
read a considerable part of them, especially their
introductions and the teachings of Jesus Christ himself.
I researched thoroughly into their origins. I was
very much interested in the extent of their
completeness or otherwise. I discovered the nature of
man through the Bibles and also the number of
innocent lives that were lost in the process of trying to
make the Bibles available to everyone as we have it
today. I understood the meaning of the
word“Authorised” appended to the King James'
Version and all the troubles concerning its origin, the
life that was lost who made the moving statement “if
only God would open the King's eyes”, - uttered by the
man being executed for his daring to make the Bible
available to the society at large! I discovered the fact
that there were some other books containing the works
and miracles performed by some Kings, Prophets, and
even Jesus Christ that were not contained in the Bible.
Islam
285
The Jehovah Witnesses
289
My discoveries in the book were quite many and
very exciting. For instance, Deeper Life as a Church,
emerged as a result of the zeal to serve God in an
IMPROVED way under the cornerstone of
evangelism. Pastor Kumuyi disagreed with his Church,
the Apostolic Faith , on some fundamental issues and I
quote below excerpts from pp124-127, which I found
really useful for me:
“I just had a concern to teach young people
because I had been involved with the Scripture union
and young people's groups. We were teaching these
young people to be born again , and to live consistent
Christian lives. We also emphasized evangelism in
those days. Now the church I was going to at that time
did not accept the way we carried out personal
evangelism. They felt that young Christians who
evangelise might fall into false doctrine. They
encouraged you to invite people to the church services,
and believe that they would be saved. I didn't agree
with that, and so I was the target of the preaching there
a lot of the time. They would allude to 'the young man
who is going astray'. But I kept on going to the
church, and a lot of people who were coming to Bible
study went to different churches-some to that church,
some to Pentecostal churches., Evangelical churches,
and some remained in the 'orthodox churches like
Anglican, Methodist and Presbyterian.
“Then we had retreats. After the retreats, Deeper
Life members would go back to their own churches
and evangelise those people who they felt were not
born again. That approach may have been wrong, it
290
may have been right; but that's what they did. They
felt the people in the churches were not receiving clear
teaching on the new birth; and that their lives did not
show clear evidence of the new birth, although that
was a subjective judgment. But that was their reason
for evangelizing them. They also taught them about
what they believed was consistent Christian living:
holiness, and other practical issues like 'do not smoke,
do not drink'. Now as young people, they had zeal,
and it was good. But sometimes they were wrong in
their emphasis, so I would correct them at the Bible
study but the churches did not know about the
correction, because they were not at the Bible study!
Eventually some of them were driven out of the
churches. For example one denomination gave a
general type of statement at their headquarters:
'Anybody who attends any other Bible study outside of
the church's, especially Deeper Life Bible study, will be
driven out of the church'. The brethren who attended
the Bible study therefore left that church and went to
another church. But the story repeated itself; other
churches also drove them out. Eventually my own
church sent me out too. I didn't want to tell you all
this earlier on, because I didn't want to sound negative
about the local churches. The local churches were
doing good work; it's just that there are differences in
our convictions. I think, to be consistent, I would
rather say that the way they felt was the only option
they had. My Overseer called me and told me that he
didn't enjoy what I was doing. He said I was not
practising what the church taught me, and that that
291
might have some consequences. I explained my
perception and admitted that if what I was doing
would hinder the growth of the church and the
Kingdom of God, I would patiently bear whatever they
would do. And yet I couldn't give up my convictions
on evangelism. Finally, the church took the decision to
ex-communicate me…
“Now, when they excommunicated me, I didn't
join any other church. The church I had been going to
preached on holiness, and restitution. I felt that if this
church (which stands on the Bible) could drive me out,
then any other church not standing on the totality of
the Bible could do worse. I was driven out in 1977, and
we just continued the Bible study. The people coming
to the Bible study and who had also been attending
that church with me, kept going. I made sure that they
were not negative about it. I excused the church,
saying that they were not committing sin; that they did
the best they knew. OUR DIFFERENCE WAS IN
OUR CONVICTION.
“It was primarily pressure from existing churches
which led Pastor Kumuyi to start Sunday worship for
Deeper Life members thus forming a new Church,
rather than remaining as an interdenominational
ministry”
That is the unvarnished (or plain) history of
Deeper Life. Many people who were ex-
communicated from their various Churches and
needed more 'comfortable' place to worship - a place
that would go deeper into the doctrines of the Holy
Bible - gathered together to form Deeper Life Bible
292
Ministry into a Church. One cardinal initial doctrine of
the Church was for members to give their 'all' to God.
Again, according to Alan (p. 105) on some Deeper
Life's initial doctrines
'…Conversion to Christ does affect the whole of our
lives, and members of Deeper Life are committed to
placing themselves unreservedly under the demands of
the Gospel. For example, in the early days of Deeper
Life it was unacceptable for women to wear trousers,
jewellery, or make-up in church or at prayer. Men were
to wear simple clothes; unflared trousers (despite the
fashion of the time) and plain shoes (acceptable heel
heights were specified). Born-again Christians would
not watch television or drink minerals such as cola or
lemonade, but only fruit juice. Marriage was not really
acceptable for the truest disciple of Christ although
this teaching was modified after Kumuyi's marriage to
sister Biodun in 1980! All this has led to charges of
legalism, which are still made. These accusations
regarding the past are no doubt true, but certainly in
Lagos, and in most of the other places I visited, I did
not hear such strict lifestyle regulations being preached
any more.”
Mysticism
299
My Wife's Roles in My Days of Adventure into
Spiritualism
300
Chapter 42
I Settled
For Christianity
When I lived at Adesina Street, Ijeshatedo area of
Lagos between 1990-1993 or thereabout, I worshipped
with the Powerline Bible Church headed by Pastor
(now Bishop) Lawrence Osagie. One Mrs. Olajumoke
(now late), then a classmate of mine at the Lagos State
University, introduced me to the church. When my car
was faulty, she it was who conveyed me in her car from
classes - a fact that helped to evangelise me into the
Powerline Bible Church. At Powerline Bible Church,
the word of God is the enzyme which boosts the
vision of the Founder, Pastor Osagie. Pastor Osagie
was such an energetic preacher. From the accounts of
Paul the Apostle I have read in the Bible, it was
obvious that Pastor Osagie patterened after Paul in
zeal. This is a man who openly confessed that in order
for him not to be tempted to seek alternative
employment other than serve God, he had to set all his
hard-earned certificates on fire! He preaches the word
of God undiluted!
I was fairly close to him but the fear of being
trapped into priesthood made me to keep a safe
distance from him! Pastor Osagie is one person who
consistently marvels at the level of resemblance
between my wife and I share. He was the one who
wrote the foreward to the first edition of this book
301
published in 1992. He was the one from whom I took
counsel when I wanted to change my name and I
remember his words: “you don't have to be emotional
about it, change to your biological father's name!”
Although I loved to continue to worship in
Powerline but I was forced to leave because I moved
house from Ijeshatedo to Iba Housing Estate which
was about 20km away.
Before leaving Powerline, I had made up my mind
that I was moving to the Redeemed Church wherever
I found one.
302
I made thorough investigations about the Church through its
own literature and from discussions with friends. Good enough,
they had ample materials revealing so much about the founder,
the doctrines and the incumbent General Overseer, Pastor Enoch
Adejare Adeboye. The more questions I asked, the more
answers I found. I became fascinated.
During mid-week and Sunday services, I flowed
very well with everything done. First, there was a
balanced preaching of salvation and the need and how
to succeed here on earth. Their presentation aligned
with my belief! Secondly, RCCG, as a church, caters
absolutely for the souls of everyone irrespective of
whether you are holy, semi-holy or unholy. RCCG has
the passion to win ALL souls to its fold.
RCCG receives you the way you are. You are then
indoctrinated with the Word of God through such
channels as its Believer's Class, the Sunday School, The
School of Disciples and other Biblical trainings until
you come to self-realisation and acquire the sound
ability to make mature choices!
The Church elevates you to appreciate holiness
and righteousness, which informs the choice of names,
such as Model and Classical, given to parishes. If the
parish is classical, they are likely governed with much
do's and don'ts in the pattern of the CAC, brooking no
compromise at all. If you can't stand such toughness,
you may belong to the Model parishes, which
predominate in the Church. They contain the trendy
ones, mostly the youth and females who invariably
prefer to sport trouser suits, flaunt the airs of the
303
generally fashionable and the educated diction exudes
class!
My understanding of the church leadership's
philosophy is for one to serve God with one's heart
through the full exposure to the Word of God, by
which one should operate at one's individual capacity
to please God. I share this view very much. It differs
from the outlook of the previous places (except
Powerline which shares the same approach with
RCCG) where I have worshipped before joining the
RCCG..
The policy of establishing branches within five
minutes of walking (or for car owners, five minutes of
driving) distance to worshipers' residence is laudable
and visionary. It is admirable . It challenges those who
are zealous for God to become leaders quickly and has
reduced leadership tussles in the Church to the barest
minimum by the ready opportunities available to the
ambitiously restless. It answers Christ's statement that
the harvest is plenty but that the labourers are few!
One other thing I cherish in RCCG is the
inculcation of the spirit of hard work and intellectual
development through continuing education. Much of
the preaching is decidedly educative and a constant
reminder to the student adherents in particular to
buckle up always and not relent in their studies. So
mediocrity has no foothold in the congregation.
Above all, salvation of every member is the ultimate
goal in RCCG. Holiness and righteousness are her
emphasis and a lot of biblical training opportunities for
adherents to know how to attain the much desired
304
salvation. No doubt a lot of miracles happen during
preachings, which only evidences the fact that God still
performs the wonders of old today. If any member
wants to really understand this policy of the church
clearly, it is important for him or her to join the School
of Disciples. The practical aspect of RCCG is manifest
there! RCCG is rooted on holiness, rightgeousness
and salvation.
RCCG also believes that good Christians are
needed in all facets of leadership (including politics) to
run the affairs of any nation well.
These two goals for a man to live an accomplished
and balanced life to inherit the kingdom of God tally
with my own understanding of God's purposes for our
lives.
307
Chapter 43
My Life
As A
Student-Worker
Sometimes, when I recall the events of my life, one
aspect that makes me feel disturbed is the fact that I
had to combine studies with fending for my livelihood.
The implications on all facets of my life are far too
serious. I would wish that my life had not been ordered that
way.
First, during my work-school-church life, I was spiritually
weakened and my spiritual growth seriously hampered. My first
contact with RCCG was at the Iba Estate Parish.
Pastor Obed Akinmulewo - a very pragmatic Pastor-
headed the Church then. Through convincing and
resourceful sermons, he finally succeeded in
convincing me to grow in the church and spiritually.
He was ably assisted by (then) Assistant Pastor
Olugbemi. Indeed it was Pastor Akinmulewo's down-
to-earth teachings that decisively impacted my life (and
that of my wife) spiritually. It was in that Parish that I
got re-baptised in the RCCG's way and there I became
an active worker in the true sense of the word, having
attended the Workers-in-Training course.
308
I Became A Landlord!
Social Relationships
I Graduated!
314
I Was Called to the Bar!
July, Is My Month!
317
Chapter 44
Appreciating Those
Who Supported
My Family
318
unforced homely ambience where there were no social
or family distinctions or prejudices. Happily, things
have turned out right for everyone concerned, and my
wife and I remain grateful to all those who helped to
see us through our numerous transitions in life.
Throughout their stay with us, we all had a sense of oneness,
such that nobody could draw the line between where the nuclear
family ended and the extended family began! Till date, they
remain cordial and happy with us. Busola Ajayi and her
husband have taken me (and is eager to take my wife) out of the
shores of Nigeria, seemingly to continue our good old days
together in unending love! Rotimi Ibitoye has been a
major pillar in the sponsorship of my children, even at
the University level. He was there to collaborate fully
with me to give my mother - his grand mother - a
befitting burial! Bola Ogunloye (my sister-in-law),
Janet Oyelami (nee Olayinka) and Abiodun Jimoh (my
nephew) were fully with me during my late mother's
burial. Kazeem Ojo Olanipekun, my Uncle's wife's
brother, has always been with us and he has continued
to buy me and our children Christmas clothes annually.
Imagine that!
This is why I maintain that human beings are
created good. When they see love, they recognize it.
When it is extended to them with all genuineness of
heart, they reciprocate it. If I had hurt him when he
was with me, he would most likely have reciprocated it
also.
It stands to reason therefore that extended family
members (so dreaded by some so-called nuclear
homes) can be very helpful in building homes if only
319
we demonstrated genuine love towards them. When
they climb the ladder of fortune, they will not forget
those who have been kind to them when they were
down below.
As we appreciate them, we know that God
appreciates them more and He will continue to reward
them accordingly.
With these testimonies, I expect any doubters to
bring their families (poly or monogamous, extended or
nuclear) together in love. Let us stop justifying evil. No
half measures! It just pays to do so and you, my
reader, should initiate the conduct or practice. What I
practised and still do, is what I am preaching to you. I
am not postulating theories but earnest practicalities.
You won't die if you do it. Rather, your life is bound
to be the better for it in the long run!
320
Chapter 45
My Mother's Life,
A Lesson in Womanhood
“I am not educated, but I know my mind!”
- Madam Victoria Tomire Ilugbusi (Circa 1910-Nov. 20, 2002)
How it happened.
323
My “uneducated” mother, Tomire, lived by such
considerations throughout her life-time - a legacy of
which I am a direct beneficiary. I particularly dedicate
this chapter to womanhood as a whole.
Because our mothers tolerated what are called the
“excesses” of their husbands, most modern day
married women claim to be wiser than their 'stupid'
mothers. This is moreso because such mothers
stoically tolerated other women's children, especially in
a polygamous setting. Some so-called modern woman
ridicule their prdecessors for not alienating their
mothers, fathers, sisters and relations but rather drew
them closer for harmonious living.
My mother's life demonstrated the absolute need for a
woman not only to look beyond her husband's but carry along
every member of that family. That was what my mother did in
her life-time. She demonstrated that a married woman should
equally remain an active partner-in-progress in her parent's home
for life while bonding her own children with her husband's
extended family, rather than separate them. In short, my
mother proved that in a heterogenous family, the
woman should seek and work towards total unity and a
loving ambience in which all the children would grow
without undue affectation.
My mother's life revealed that contrary to the
wisdom of man, God's purpose is served in all human
sociological relationships and that in the upbringing of
children, what should matter is not their mothers'
selfish interests but those of the children, which the
mothers should co-operatively work towards. The
children's life should be the center of the daily
324
supplications to God because, as my mother
demonstrated, “what you sow is what you reap”.
From such understanding, I have developed a
philosophy to work according to His pre-ordained plan
for my family (poly or monogamous), by yielding to
His will to beneficially enhance our interrelationships
as we make the voyage of life.
If my late mother had wanted me isolated from all
the homes to which I belong, she would have
succeeded to do so. If she had wanted to turn me
against my father, step-mothers, brothers, uncles,
sisters and aunties, I would surely have become their
enemies. If she had chosen to unsettle my home, she
might equally have succeeded. But her aspirations
and way of life exuded the spirit of unity, harmony and
love. Throughout her life-time, she was a true lover of
God and humanity. For every aspect of life, my
mother had a clear vision. Her goal for us her children
was to see us all glued to God, fully educated in the
Western way and fully integrated to our extended
family. She did all she could to realise those goals in
our lives.
326
Family Unity
Family History
327
I failed her in this respect. My consolation is that
Folowosele, her brother, knows the place.
328
a-day program. Rather, Tomire ate many times as we
gave her food, yet, ever asking for more.
My observation however was that much as she ate,
rather than increase in stature the opposite was the
case! She became smaller and smaller physically by the
day. Two years before her death, she started
experiencing memory loss and became very emotional
while her speech became less and less co-ordinated.
She behaved like a baby - full of emotions and
expressed such either by crying at the slightest
provocation or by engaging in prayers. Her reaction
time to everything became slower and slower by the
day but with some sort of determination she still
continued to walk into the kitchen to search for food
or to the lady's to ease herself or have her shower.
However, many a time, she had to be supported back
to her room.
329
Eni Olorun Steps In
Seun Step In
330
Seun, a young girl, bubbling with energy, zeal,
great affection and extra-ordinary love of old people,
took charge of my mother. Indeed she became our
version of “Eni Olorun” in the evenings. Seun
obviously enjoyed what she was doing which finally
conquered my mother's long pathological fear of being
neglected at old age. When she was still agile, my
mother would hold my hands and pleaded with me and
my wife:
“Yemi, Eye Olu (Mummy Olumide), please take good
care of me, and, by the special grace of God, your own
children will take good care of you”.
Her statement always moved me and I was glad
that finally my mother's expectation was fully met by
both Mrs. Odufunwa's Abolarin (aka Eni Olorun) and
my energetic 'daughter' (for she is more to me than a
cousin), Seun Obalore.
I remain eternally grateful to both women for their
labour of love and pray that God in His infinite
goodness will not only meet them at their points of
need, He will give them long life and provide for them
similary in their old age. Let me also appreciate my
nephew, Emmanuel Ibitoye and my cousins (or permit
me to call them my daughters) - Janet, Eunice, Busola
and my Uncle Julius' wife's brother, Kazeem, as well as
my nephew, Biodun Jimoh, and my sister-in-law, Bola
,who, during their stay with us, cared very well for my
late mother. I also appreciate my Auntie, Mrs. Mary
Owoeye, in whose presence my mother passed on.
They all shall not lack in Jesus Name. Amen!
331
Madam Comfort Omogbemile and Her Children
333
Afterwards, my mother eventually joined me.
Whenever she went home, she only stayed with Mrs.
Comfort Omogbemile, Julius's mother. Comfort was
the only person that could cook to my mother's
satisfaction; she was both her confidant and
companion because they understood each other very
well.
When old age began to set in, Madam Comfort
was never irritated with mother's old age-induced
childish tantrums or incoherent presentations. She
behaved to my mother throughout like a truly
affectionate daughter and took good care of her unto
the end.
335
Chapter 46
I Released
My Mum To God!
Mum Was About To Go!
My Father's Role
336
My Parting Prayers for My Mother
342
would not reckon with the perfect will of God for my
life!
344
Finally, I invited mother's siblings and mine to a
planning meeting. We discussed at length and I
pleaded with them for co-operation. I told them that I
could surrender or leave all the burial arrangements to
them and stay aloof if that would bring peace in the
family. But if that happened, I would have been
deprived of a fundamental opportunity to honour our
beloved mother, and it would remain a sore point till
my dying day.
I revealed to them that I was aware that my
mother's burial ceremony was being primed as a time
bomb to explode for some subjective reasons. I
pleaded with them to remember that nobody
(including our late mother herself) had been or was
faultless. So we had to tolerate our strengths as well as
our weaknesses. I pointed out that failure to unite to
give our mother a befitting burial would do us no
good. Rather it would permanently divide us to the
devil's advantage and to our own shame. I then posed
a question to them: “Does my changing my name
remove your blood from my veins as my maternal
sibblings?” They chorused “No!”. I went further to
ask: “Even if I continued to bear Pa Ilugbusi's name,
would that remove Omogboyega's blood from my
veins?” Of course the answer was “No”.
Again I asked: “Since I moved over to my
biological father's home, has my behaviour to you and
the Ilugbusis changed for the worse?” “Of course, no!”
they responded.
345
Then if all these were true, did that not confirm
what I had been saying that both homes were my
homes?
I emphasised that if we allowed our emotions to
control our situation, the implication would be that we
would have succeeded in destroying the foundation
and the legacy of love and unity, which our mother
bequeathed to us all.
I concluded that my situation was providential,
which had made me the bond cementing the two
families who had no sanguinary relationship. They
should let God's plan prevail by burying the hatchet
and forging an everlasting unity for both families.
Their reactions turned positive and very open
thereafter, as they pledged to co-operate with me
thenceforth. We then proceeded to discuss the burial
programme extensively. We agreed on the burial date
and prayed for God's guidance for what needed to be
done. Once again, our faithful God took absolute
control of our affairs, so that two months to Mum's
burial, we were able to meet again to conclude our
plans together.
God's Miracles
346
bills, buy an appropriate coffin and invest on other
innumerable burial protocols.
347
Chapter 47
My First Trip
Outside Africa
With all the activities I had on my plate, my life
had become a pressure cooker and I urgently needed a
respite. Having concluded my study project therefore,
I had time to consider, afresh, opportunities (which I
had long been offered but pushed aside) to have the
much needed leisure in a short, recuperative vacation
overseas. My younger brother and the Ajayi family,
both in the United States of America, had persistently
offered that I spent my holiday with them.
Before this time, I had a subsisting valid visa to
the USA on my passport; so I had no further reason to
decline their most recent invitation. I was therefore
prepared to make the trip to one of them (the other
had since left the USA). Always, whenever I have
planned any undertaking, God, to whom I have
constant recourse, showed His hand thereabout and
alerted me to certain or specific considerations -
through dreams mostly. This time around, about two
weeks to the date of my travelling, I dreamt that I lost
a vital but unidentified document. Since I was unable
to relate or interprete the dream, I discussed it with my
wife and we decided that it would be safer to ask for
God's guidance so that the warning would not affect
my impending travel.
With such a possibility at the back of our minds,
we were particularly careful therefore in the handling
348
of my travel documents and at every stage of the
boarding process at the airline check-in, immigration
and customs counters as well as at the boarding point
at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Ikeja,
on the night of my flight to the USA. Coincidentally I
ran into two of my colleagues at the airport, namely
Andrew Umoru and a lady with her child, whom, to
my personal embarrassment, I could not then
pigeonhole. Although she greeted me warmly, I was
too shy to ask for any clarification.
Our flight was by the Dutch Airline, KLM, and,
for me, it meant that I would have a change of aircraft
or airline in Amsterdam, Holland, for a reconnection in
the second stage of my journey to the USA.
352
In the process of immigration clearance at the JFK, New
York, we were given forms to fill which required stating the
names and addresses of our hosts in the USA. I immediately
went for my letter of invitation from my would-be hosts, the
Ajayis, but a near nightmare began. I searched through all my
documents, emptied my pockets and rummaged through my hand
luggage for it but it was nowhere to be found. In desperation, I
alternately searched through my Nokia 910i Communicator
where I had stored the addresses and telephone numbers of my
hosts but could not locate them because I was confused over the
right entry of their storage!
I then asked the supervising immigration officer to enable
me use the public address system of the airport to contact my
hosts who were probably waiting outside but my request was
politely turned down whilst I was warned that until I provided a
specific address I would not be allowed to depart from the arrival
hall area.
All this while, I observed from the corner of my eye the lady
I mentioned earlier (from Lagos through Amsterdam) walking
up and down the hall inexplicably, until we were the only
passengers left there. Virtually at the end of my tether, I then
appealed to the immigration officer to allow me seek the
assistance of my friend, the lady! He obliged me. She responded
promptly to my beckoning and willingly and cheerfully gave her
own address in the USA for my relief. And thereafter, the kind
immigration officer completed the necessary formalities
while assuring me that he had no intention to frustrate
my passage. From my form, I was able to know that
my timely rescuer was Mrs. Edith Ibojie! She was the
pleasant lady that God had sent to extricate me from a
damning ridicule.
353
It was after I had recovered from the shock of my
short-lived dilemma that I recalled my home dream of
a lost document! That was what my merciful God had
forewarned me about, but true to His faithful nature,
He still made a way out for me in the end!!
JFK's Airport
357
Our Journey To North Carolina
Reflections
362
My Second Dream
366
2003, at about 7 p.m. or so, we landed safely at the
Murtala Muhammed Airport!
I was then totally refreshed to face up to my
mother's burial which had been fixed for Saturday,
26th April - a process we started in earnest.
367
Chapter 48
Back To
My Mother's Burial
Help Came from Above!
368
Again my only acknowledgement of their
generousity is to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for honouring not only my late mother, but
also my twin families and to wish divine control of
their own affairs.
I Am Free!
371
The Adenigbas apart from heavy cash gifts, physically
went to the market to help buy and promptly deliver all
the four cows we used during the occasion.
The Ibitoyes featured actively. Desola and Ayo with
their husbands featured prominently on all the
occasions. Bose and her partner too were not left out!
I missed the physical absence of Remi and Bunmi,( his
wife) but I must say that the husband made very
appreciable contributions (on phone) to the plans and
he actively financed the execution.
At that moment, I hoped my mother saw for
herself what had happened, for which I knew she
would have held a special thanksgiving service on the
very following Sunday in celebration (we did that on
her behalf anyway!).
So, contrary to my initial fears, God had, again, worked
things together for me and upheld the efficacy of
prayers, which I had resorted to in my hour of need.
372
The caterers from Lagos did not disappoint us
either! Their cooking was good, neat and efficiently
and effectively handled!
During our exuberant joyfulness, one miscreant
tried to mar the occasion that was (actually being)
policed from heaven, by dipping his devilish hands into
my pocket and stealing a fat envelope containing the
sum of N10,000 which had been given to me by an
Association to which, I belong. But unkown to the
thief, Angels, from above, directed the watchful eyes of
loyal young children, who loved me very much to his
malfeasance. They exposed him faster than he took
the money, retrieved my money for me first and then
dealt harshly with him. I had to plead for his life to be
spared!
That confirmed the potency of God's anointing
on my life (which he had earlier revealed to me in a
dream) that anyone who cheats or deals with me
dishonourably does so at his or her own peril! This
thief tried it and he had a taste of his pudding!
It is not possible for me to list all the names of
those who came to honour my mother, one-by-one,
for the purposes of appreciating them. Let me
however appreciate Dr. Oni, Mr. Sofowora, Mrs. Ajayi
and Pastor Wole Daniels, Mr. Dayo Awani, and all my
colleagues who trooped in during the occasion. I
appreciate their presence, I appreciate their gifts in
kind and cash!
373
At about 6pm, the showers of blessings in the
form of a heavy downpour came from our heavenly
Daddy to cool us off but the children and some adults
frolicked in the rain and continued with their dancing
gyrations as if nothing was happening until about 11
p.m. when the band stopped performing! That marked
my mother's glorious end on this planet, Alleluyah!
In my quiet time, after all participants had
returned to their bases safely, I began to ruminate on
God's wonderful handling of my mother's burial
ceremony which had turned out more successfully than
anyone had hoped for. I reviewed before Him
fractious events that had reared their ugly heads,
threatening to wreck or disrupt plans for Mum's
obsequies. The situation had been like that of two
enemies trying to cross a very narrow bridge at the
same time, disregarding the dire consequence of a fatal
dislodgement in such a foolhardy scramble.
Yet, God had turned the seemingly impossible
situation around by converting the enemy's weapons
into plough shears and raging minds into co-operative
instruments. In the end, there was neither accident nor
fatality, rancour nor breach of the peace. Money
meant to ensure the presence of the police at the
occcason had been embezzeled but 'You, Father, God,
had provided our heavenly guards instead and
everything went fine.' Even those who tried the anti-
social tricks were confounded. “You provided good
weather throughout the joyful period! And above all,
the state of my health couldn't have been better!” Why
did everything work out perfectly this way?
374
God whispered in my wonderment: “Don't you
know that you are my favoured child?”
I replied: “Thank You Daddy, thank you Daddy; I
thank you for allowing me to bother You! No more
murmuring!”
I could then see how and why Abraham became
the “father of faith”; Moses “the apple of God's eyes”
and Jesus Christ, “My beloved son”. I myself had been
given my own unique identity, “favoured child”, by my
Creator! Putting aside the burden of the rough journey
of my life, which I have chronicled, have I not become
the truly favoured of God? That realisation was the
origin of the “Divine Favour” which I conjoined with
my name when registering my Legal Practice with the
Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) and which is
engraved on my letter head till date.
379
Chapter 49
My Adversaries
Proved Wrong
Difficult to Write!
380
compare and contrast issues of life, I have, reluctantly,
to make reference to the case, which I had once closed.
While my change of name had my desire to align with
God's own arrangement for my life, adversaries had
manufactured several damaging and unrelated reasons for my
action. Many had become 'prophets of doom' who openly and
falsely predicted that the Omogboyegas (my real biological clan)
would stop at nothing until they killed me!
My reaction to all the insinuations was to go to my
Creator in prayers thus:
383
Chapter 50
My Visit to Norway
I had another opportunity for overseas travel and
relaxation after Mother's obsequies. Happily, it was a
fulfilling reunion with my younger brother, Remi, his
wife and children, Bunmi and Fola, who had relocated
to Norway.
The opportunity came in November, 2003 and, as
usual, my flight out was by the KLM Airline, via
Amsterdam. We landed at 6 a.m after a six-hour, non-
stop flight from Nigeria and, barely an hour later, our
change-over flight from The Netherlands (Holland) to
Noway, across the North Sea, was a kaleideoscopic
overview of unspoilt nature. It was a beautiful stretch
of natural waters as well as an architecture of man-
made dykes, aquiducts, well-tended agricultural farm
lands and hordes of diary farms and cattle in a
choreographic, slow motion! To the West, one could
see the stringy outline of Great Britain, enveloped in
the vapours of the swelling waters of the North Sea.
384
For starters, I was infact the only black passenger on
the plane from Amsterdam, in addition to the fact that
the flight stewards/stewardesses spoke only their own
Norwegian language except when they had to speak
English to me while serving snacks.
However, soon after completing the immigration
and customs formalities, I was in the happy embrace of
my beloved brother, Remi. It was exhilarating to
experience a re-enactment of the meeting of the
Omogboyega family in a foreign clime!
For all practical purposes, Norway is virtually
enveloped or buffeted by the Sea. And perchance, its
shoreline was a display of shops and yatchts. The
streets of Sola city where Remi lived were beautifully
tree-lined, paved up to the buildings, which were full of
shops. The air was pure and fresh but extremely chilly,
although I was swathed in appropriate clothing and in
a heated car.
When we got to his house, Remi and Bunmi, little
Fola and a sister named Mowa equally gave me an
enthusiastic welcome. I could hardly do justice to
Bunmi's sumptuous services, for which I (with
apologies) disappointed her and virtually everyone in
the house most times. Since my U.S. experience, I
have found that I could only take two meals a day even
though I could consume almost limitless amounts of
fruits including apples.
Norway is an ideal place for holidaying because of
its peaceful and quiet ambience. Everybody and every
activity went on quietly. Although there was a railway
behind where Remi lived, its utility was unlike my
385
rattling experience back home in Lagos, Nigeria,
where, at the Oshodi suburb in which I had lived, the
passage of a train was fearful, as it kept residents on
the alert. Whereas in Norway, the passage of the train
was virtually sound-proof: a vibration, a caressing
tremor echoing at high speed, clean beauties of
outstanding engineering design and streamlined luxury
apartments, along routes that are secured from human
invasion!
Another impession worth noting about the
Norwegians was the dedicated manner they kept their
history. I visited the museum at Sola City. Its treasure
was not just artefacts and sculptures but also records of
the working of nature: of things above and beneath the
ground as well as exploratory simulations that altered
the physical formations of the universe.
A common feature in their transportation system
was the straightness of the routes - rail or road. The
people apparently operated on the principle that the
straight line is the shortest line. The result is that no
route was ever diverted by reason of a physical
impediment such as mountains or rocks! So, roads or
railways were tunnelled through them, even if they ran
the entire length of any mountain range to the desired
destination!
This phenomenon took my mind back to the
situation at home where roads and railways were
snaked round every physical confrontation, so that
trains moved at snail speed and road travel became
unnecessarily long and hazardous. I wish I could bring the
Norwegians to Ekitiland in particular where mountains needed
386
to be tunnelled, not only to make our roads safe and straight but
also to give it the tourist attraction it deserves. I wish I could
invite them to come and do something about “Akannasan'', a
particularly most dangerous, double-bent, hill with a deep valley
which continually swallows so many lives and properties and on
which, rather than adopt the Norwegian way, we have wasted
millions of naira sacrificing to the man-made gods, whose
appetites are insatiable, even as I write this book!
I wish I could bring the Norwegians to “Oke
Idanre” in Ondo State to come and make the work of
nature manifest through their unparalleled skills in
tunnelling through rocks!
During my Norwegian tours, the excellence of
Caucasian life was re-enacted everywhere: automated
trade and commerce, unbroken conventions of life and
evidence of why the people would never again have to
pray the poor man's mantra, “… for our daily bread”.
There were no congestions of any kind, the school
system and the learning environment were proficient
and humane, and there was order everywhere. One
could only surmise that in these circumstances, the
menace of social miscreants was inconsiderable.
387
drugs as a health remedy. The frequent medical advice
was drink, drink and drink water!
The Norwegian practice in water therapy actually
gave me some more understanding in the Christ
Apostolic Church where the therapy plays a prominent
role in their solutions to problems, which are presented
as miracles!
Another observation I made in the Norwegian
System is the policy of leaving on vehicle headlamps
during broad day light! On inquiry from my host, I
was informed that the vehicles over there were so
designed that their headlamps came on immediately the
ignition was switched on so that drivers did not bother
about forgetting or remembering to do so at night or in
darkeness!
The banking system was beautiful - no
congestions whatsoever and new notes were freely and
continually issued. Electronic banking made life totally
easy, such that cashing was a 24-hour daily service.
Like in the USA, there were no police checkpoints
or road blocks. Yet the policemen did their jobs
effectively well. Traffic lights and radar monitors
equally dotted their motoroways as in the USA.
After two weeks of such wonderful idealism, I
returned to Nigeria. I had firm reasons to be grateful
to my hosts in Norway. I was particularly glad that
despite the doomsday prophecies of detractors about
my biological fatherhood, the Omogboyega was the
family, which had taken me, first constructively to the
USA and, second, physically to Norway - which most
relations never do for their family members.
388
I thank God for all my paternal siblings: Florence,
Comfort, Desola, Dunni Adenigba, Remi, Ayo and
Bose. So also do I thank God for our wonderful
wives, Mary and Bunmi Omogboyega, who are in no
small way instrumental to the happenings that
cemented our relationship the more. I can only pray
that we will never cease to advance the frontiers of
love and sense of unity among our clan. Amen!
They have all challenged me to good works and by
His grace, I shall endeavour to live up to that billing.
389
Chapter 51
My Spiritual
Growth
Back To My Beat
390
The first sign that the training would be different
was the detailed Manual on it. It was unlike the
conventional RCCG's training Manual. We had two
very dedicated teachers: Mummy Fabiyi herself and
Sister Ayo who was quite caring, firm and loving too.
But Mummy Fabiyi added to those qualities: strictness,
punctiliousness and extra-ordinary pushfulness. By her
very nature, she was a got-getter who would not
compromise on anything to achive results!
Our first lessons included the history of RCCG
and its doctrine. As a research student, I loved this
because it gave me further authentic information about
the origins of RCCG. The roles of a worker, his
attributes, and many more other things were laid bare
to us.
However, three messages sank deeply into me:
first, we were nobodies and we should therefore
subject ourselves to the service of the Lord with
humility.
Second, the training was a 'charater-moulding
course' and, finally our vision as followers must be
subsumed to that of the church to avoid confusion. In
other words, our visions should align with that of the
leadership of RCCG. We studied the book of
Nehemaiah thoroughly and wrote a full test on it
before our graduation into the Workers' fold.
Let me at this juncture appreciate all my Pastors:
Okanlawon, Oluwaniyi and Wole Daniels (and their
wives), particularly for showing understanding during
my academic pursuit which virtually took me away
from the Church most times. I also appreciate Pastor
391
& Mummy Fabiyi for being the people God used to
uncompromisingly restore us to our spiritual beats.
For this reason, I consider the Fabiyis to be our closest
spiritual mentors.
I Had A Revelation
393
But surprisingly, that condition did not stop God
from giving me revelations in a dream! I think we
human beings tend to want to see God from the
punitive aspect but my life reveals to me that God is a
merciful God. Whoever He has decided to favour, He
will not withdraw from, even when he or she is in
critical condition or even running away from Him!
That's my Father!
That night, I dreamt and I saw a lot of people
searching for me all over the place. Eventually they
located me. I asked them why they sought after me so
fervently. They replied that the General Overseer,
Daddy E.A. Adeboye, had sent them to look out for
me wherever I was. I asked why? They replied that
there were some issues concerning the children that
needed urgent attention and that only I would be able
to resolve them and for that reason, Daddy Adeboye
had sent them to fetch me and that I must come down
urgently to attend to the issues. For that reason, they
insisted, I must go with them for they could not return
to Daddy Adeboye without me! They did not allow me
to offer any reason(s) why I could delay my coming
and in that process, I woke up!
It is pertinent here to add at this juncture, that my
wife had previously dreamt years before on an issue
relating to my spiritual calling too. In that dream
(which she narrated to me) she said that she went to
our former Pastor, Owaseye, for prayers to resolve a
very burning issue concerning her life. And on getting
there, the Pastor simply burst into laughter. As she
was wondering why, Pastor Owaseye, according to her,
394
referred her back home to me saying that she already
had a Pastor as a husband and that the annointing
upon him (her husband) to break such yokes was
greater than the one upon him.
She woke up that morning and from then onwards, she
started addressing me as “Pastor” even before she
narrated the dream to me! I considered all these
happenings as pointers to something about God's
direction for my spiritual life. But then the issue of
when and how remained unresolved for I did not want
to venture without a clear direction.
The Challenges
397
As I desired to be more relevant in the things of
God, however, I suddenly discovered that the
incompatibility between my office location and my
abode squeezed me in between and made it difficult
for me to move as close to Him as my desire to do so
was becoming more and more manifest. As I struggled
to balance both assignments, my health started to
experience unprecedented depreciation almost on daily
basis!
This development threw a big challenge to me. I had
two options: one, resign my appointment and face full
time Ministry where I had been assigned a major
responsibility or change my location by moving my
house closer to my office. Either way, I would face
new sets of challenges.
It was obvious that I was mid-sea as far as family
responsibilities were concerned. With three children in
the Universities and another in a private secondary
school at JSS2 level, I needed to be cautious in taking
such a decision without proper consultations with God
and man. I was yet to conduct proper feasibility
studies on my proposed next line of business- legal
practice combined with writing.
Careerwise, I was still mid-way into my career in my
office and it appeared opportunities still abound here
and there.
Above all, I had not received any specific direction
from God to relinquish my secular career to a full-time
ministry; so whatever decision I took, I must be
prepared for the consequences which will also affect
every member of my family!
398
In the midst of all these considerations and seeming
confusions, early in the morning two weeks before the
end of December 2005, my wife and I engaged in
fervent prayers to our God thus:
399
Daddy, please interevene in Jesus' name we pray.
Amen”
402
Chapter 52
My Secular
Callings
404
Chapter 53
Music and
My Life
My readers will wonder, what's my business with
music? Am I a musician? What's so special about
music and what direct linkage does music have with me
as a person or how is it related to my story?
I have promised, right from the beginning of this
book, that I would go beyond the ordinary boundaries
of the usual autobiography. I did say I would stretch
its frontiers to the inspirational domain. This is why I
touch so extensively on every topic I have since
covered. It is a story that blends theory with practice.
All the things I write about apply to you as they do to
me.
Secular music has become so controversial in the
Church, especially amongst those with intense religious
beliefs. There has been the recurring question:
“should a Christian listen to secular music?” I have my
clear views. My readers do have theirs too.
We should exchange our views and experiences so that
those who are still in the 'tunnel' would see light.
On the positive side, good music is the soul of life.
Good music is like the good books we all read for our
spiritual, academic and professional examinations.
Good music is a tonic. Good music reawakens a
dry or (even) dead spirit. Good music gives hope to
the listener and it not only reduces anxiety, it is a
405
therapy for psychological illnesses. Good music could
be a direction to our lives, and an energy booster. It
helps the blood to flow and regulates our heartbeats.
Good music supplies a quick and sublime access to the
Lord Almighty. No wonder, King David sang his heart
out to God, thereby becoming the man after His heart
(whom He rewarded by giving him unending
inspirations). Till today, the book of Psalms is arguably
the most spirit-lifting segment in the Bible. God loves
music and cherishes it. The Bible tells us that even
Satan was once the Choirmaster of God before pride
brought him low.
God enjoys good music.
Human beings have followed suit. It is remarkable that
even newly born babies react to music. For instance, if
your baby is disturbing you anytime of the day and
nothing else has worked to calm him or her down,
please look for a good gospel or cool music for the
baby. You will be amazed at its spontaneous calm
down.
Music removes boredom and like football, it cuts
across all barriers (racial, space or belief).
On the negative side, bad music corrupts the body, the
spirit and the soul of a man or a woman, boy or girl. If
you would corrupt the generations after you, play
corrupt music to the unborn. Through it, pass down to
them immoral messages, let them dance to it naked in
the street and do so with abandon. In no time, nobody
will remember God anymore.
But I have chosen to be tremendously and positively
impacted by the good musical works of good
406
musicians. That is why I am so taken up with music.
Don't ask me whether it is gospel or secular please.
Music is inherently good and does not per se engender
contrariness. Its lyrics are however manipulated by
men to debase or descend to immoral or unacceptable
tunes and levels!
Good music is good music. There are some
gospel as well as secular works that are lacking in
creativity and the power to pass the elevating messages
and feelings. There are the copy-cat musicians who
add no substance to the renditions and they are many
in gospel music. I do not enjoy abusive and or
immoral music too because they do nobody no good.
I am also concerned with the stuff my musicians are
made of. For instance Fela was a giant in the music
industry. He was a profound and relevant social critic
with his beautiful music and engineered an enduring
and distinct genre of music but his attack on religion,
especially in one of his works titled “Suffer suffer for
World”, though beautifully packaged, definitely
impacted negatively on our youths because it tended to
make the youths and the unwary adults alike tend to
think that all our religious leaders are cheats and that
serving God does not have any positive role to play in
influencing our moral attitudes. It would have been a
perfect work if he had removed those offensive words
portraying pastors and Imams as people enjoying while
the congregation suffers. That he did not believe in
God does not in any way nullify the importance of
religion to our lives. (I hear you say but it's a fact for
us all to see!) Yes, I agree but good Christians or
407
Muslims are not responsible for the level of poverty in
our society. It is the bad leadership, and the fact that
they bear John, James or Ismaila or Fatai does not
necessarily qualify them as good leaders.
The world would have definitely been a worse place to
live in if the religions were not there and if their leaders
had not been passing on all the moral messages to the
populace over time!
Indeed, there are Nigerian musicians who have left rich
veins of wholesome music for the society, like the late
Comfort Omoge whose works brought out the best
heritage of Africa, Onyeka Onwenu (Ekwe, One
Love), Mike Okri (Awo Omo Alaigboran po nile
iwe…), Late Jim Rex Lawson, Victor Uwaifo, Sonny
Okosuns (Who Owns the land), Adewale Ayuba (Baale
Ile Yi Eweso), Late Haruna Isola (B'obinrin dara bio ni
wa), Late Jim Reeves (This World is not my home), Ipi
Tombi and Oliver de Coque - to mention a few. I
don't understand the language or dialects in which
some of these musicians sang but the contents of their
works are highly moralistic and life-moulding.
In the early 70's, King Sunny Ade's “Alaanu l'Oluwa”
(The Lord is Merciful) gave me hope that God would
have mercy upon me. Today that hope has been
fulfilled. His “Baba Jen'tegbe” (Father, make me head)
passed a serious message to me that I must work hard,
earn enough money to be a true head of my nuclear
family and to be very relevant in my extended family
and even my society at large. What he said about the
married man who, blinded by poverty, had to
accompany his wife to beg bread from her lover was an
408
eye-opener to me that a man who lacked money was an
unacceptable victim of an intolerable fate!
In his latest release he says: “Boko ra teru, k'ale ra
sanyan, oko la maa ki ku inawo Ase danu ni t'ale je”
(Let the husband buy his wife cheap materials while the
concumbine buys the same woman expensive ones, the
husband that receives the commendation; concubines
are prodigals!). Sunny has passed a frank message to
our men who would abandon their homes and spend
lavishly on strange women. Such are the messages
good musicians should pass across to their audience.
Because of religious bias, here and there, it is only
secular musicians who can reach out to every segment
of our society.
In his desperate moments,KSA sang “Esu biri biri
ke bomi ooh, Iwaju lo'loko nwami lo ehin l'oloko
nwami lo emio mo o” (please rally round me, I know
no more the direction of my life!). Whenever I am
desperate, I did cry this kind of cry to God. We all
have desperate moments and at relevant times such
music elevates us to higher grounds. “Eniyan laso iyi
mi ti mo fi nbora”(people are my clothing which gives
me warmth). These vital messages emp hasise the need
for us not to live in an isolated world.
Jim Reeves, even in his grave, has continued to
remind every living soul by no means, that this world is
not our home. It is instructive and a reminder to us all
to take life easy.
Dr. Orlando Owoh's “Masika” (Do No Evil),
“Asaro Elepo Rederede' (the wicked woman who in a
polygamous home attempted to kill the son of her rival
409
but erroneously poisoned her own child) , 'Bopo
Bariwa l'ode won a wowa tembelu” (those who look
down on people should desist from doing so) - are all
powerful messages to humanity.
Back home in Ekitiland, there are Ishola
Adepoju's 'Ayege Ni Nigeria…” , Late Ajoyemi's
numerous good works, King Femi Ariyo's over sixty-
two well researched records amongst which are:
“Omiye Lala” (Our siblings are important), 'Oni sun
ale kedide” ( wake up from your slumber), “Oni sare
laye nse' (we are the cause of road accidents, not the
enemy -a timely warning to our commercial drivers),
“Kan bati bani fo se loni mei gbo” (Take to good
counsel), “Bere Ko to wobe” (investigatigate your
would-be spouse before going into marriage), “Opolo
ni mei lo…” (I am creative), “B'aye baferan re” (if you
are loved, do not be puffed up), “Onimoto Rora
Wami” (Mr. Driver, drive me safely) and so on.
Chief Elemure Ogunyemi's “Ekiti Kete” (A unity
call to the Ekiti's in diaspora to identify with their
origin) “Ati Rio un ka Iwa” (we've secured what we are
seeking for), “Seranko Seniyan”, (an unstable man) and
many more good works from this highly rated Ekiti
musicin are highly instructive. Others include I.K.
Dairo's “Owuro Lojo” (make haste while the sun
shines), Ebenezer Obey's “Ketekete, Ninu Odun timbe
laye, Aimasiko Londamu Eda” (if we knew our destiny,
we won't have been in dilemma) and “Ko sogbon te le
da” (You cannot please the world).
As can be observed, I have dealt more extensively
with good secular musicians than I did their gospel
410
counterparts. That is deliberate because it is the former
that is controversial, not the latter. What is important
is to remember that both secular and gospel music
constitute the vehicle for conveying messages of hope
and a veritable instrument for resolving issues of
morality and wellbeing of the people in a famished
world by the church and the society.
412
Chapter 54
Overcoming
Poverty
Average Syndrome
413
The next category is the class of the wealthy. Thse are so
rich that they can afford to put some millions in fixed
deposits for, at least, six months.
At the upper extreme is the class of the flourishing. These
are so rich that they lend to nations. God wants to take
you to the level of the flourishing. But you must determine
never to be average any more.
Liberating Myself
414
These notable men of God Pastors Adeboye and
Chris Oyakhilome, actually expressed what I have
believed since I was young. I stated this similarly in the
introductory page of this book.
A cardinal vision of my life is one without poverty.
I hold the same vision for my nuclear and extended
families and for all those I would come in contact with
somehow in my life. It is a legacy I want to bestow to
humanity.
I am ready to conquer the monster called poverty,
which is my greatest enemy and that of man generally.
Poverty and I are not compatible. So, from my own
generation onwards, by the special grace of God,
poverty will have no place in my family any longer.
Poverty is not limited to lack of cash in hand. It
includes poverty of ideas or its management. It has to
do with intellectual poverty by way of being an
illiterate. Many of us are already rich and (we do not
even realize it) ignorant!). Poverty and ignorance are
twins!
However, my conquest of poverty will be guided
by the will of God, and diligence. I will not do it by
resorting to short-cut or contrary methods. I will only
engage myself in anything godly, anything legal,
everything ethical, anything good, anything transparent,
anything verifiable and considered fair in the process
of hacking down this enemy called poverty. My
method is going to be exemplary to all who will ever
fight to rid society of poverty.
God created all human beings equal but it is
poverty that has created classes in degenerating order,
415
and it has led some otherwise good people to anti-
social behaviour in society.
To effectively fight poverty, one has to identify its
root causes. One cause is definitely poor thinking and
lazy disposition. Most people believe that wealth will
drop into their laps without effort or by mere wishful
thinking!
For this reason, most Christians, who routinely
engage in fasting and praying dutifully, live careless and
planless lives while they wait for God and governments
to make them comfortable in life.
My observation about Nigeria in particular is that
God has blessed us with abundant resources, both
human and material. So He has done His good bit.
But our ignorance has left us poor in the midst of
plenty through our own (individual and collective)
choices.
Individually, we have failed to be realistic in our
approaches to life while our leaders have themselves
failed us by manifesting all sorts of ungodly
behaviours, mostly selfish leadership and corrupt
practices in running the affairs of the country.
As a result, we are mired in anti-social behaviours
that do not task our innate ingenuity and
resourcefulness but which bring quick gain
nevertheless: gambling, commission agency, '419',
surrogate money-laundering and other levels of sharp
practices. Life should not be so. Every facet of our
lives should be planned purposefully and judiciously
managed. We are lazy in managing our finances, our
marriage, our spiritual lives, our careers, our health, and
416
so on. I wonder how we would analyse our lives
without creating and maintaining a consistent database
for our transactions including our incomes and
expenditures.
Again, the truth is that every naira we have is a
seed. Where we plant it and how we nurture it to bear
multiples of fruits matter very much. But alas! We are
irresponsibly wasteful in our spendings. An average
working person should be able to assess his total
worth, his net worth, his liability as well as his overall
incomes and expenditures, which constitute his assets.
If we are lazy at keeping records, how can we assess
our self-worth?
All these failings lead us to poverty. For instance,
we are even so planless that we get married when we
are not prepared for family responsibilities! Because
we do not want to experience pain, we pursue pleasure
as our primary objective. Admittedly, there are
problems that are not directly ours like our parents
who produce more children than they could cater for,
thereby foisting responsibilities on their innocent
offspring right from their cradle. But often times, as
soon as we acquire money, rather than partner with our
wives to pursue common goals, we go for unrealistic
and grandiose ones. We make emotional pledges that
we cannot redeem. We spend money carefreely,
thereby creating wrong impressions of the statuses of
nouveaux riches. We lavish money like confetti at
social occasions to which we are invited as if we grow
money trees behind our houses! We acquire wasteful
properties needlessly, and self-injuriously try to please
417
everybody - our families, friends, community and so
on, for self aggrandizement!
418
In fact, we were 12 persons living in the apartment
at 21 Osemeka Street, Orile Iganmu, Lagos, then!
Certainly that was no way for a principled man who
wanted to eradicate poverty from his life to live! In my
foolish and do-gooder behaviour, I had been forced to
such a situation that I could not feed well anymore and
resorted to harvesting pre-mature cassava tubers from
my undeveloped plot of land for food
supplementation!
Anytime I remember this period (1989) of my life
as a married man, I always thank God for my wife
whom He gave me, because she bore all my excesses
equably even though she possessed fewer than four
good dresses in her wardrobe!
One day I had to apologise to her profusely for
my foolishness. Though we agreed to continue to help
our extended family members but we also resolved not
to do so at the expense of our nuclear family. So we
made the necessary adjustments.
Over three years, we were able to reduce the
population in our house to seven inhabitants in a
humane manner that did not hurt those affected. But
their population was still too much for our levels of
income. So finally, I secured a separate
accommodation for my wife and I, leaving the five
other persons in the old apartment. For two years
thereafter, I still paid the rent for two of those left
behind. But it had been a painful period for me,
particularly for my wife but she had borne everything
with equanimity.
419
Today, while still helping extended family
members to the best of our abilities, we do so outside
our nuclear setting, not permitting more than a
maximum of three persons to live with us at any given
period. This strict rule has been uncomfortable or
unpalatable to prospective beneficiaries, and I
understood why. People loved to stay with us because
they believed we could influence their lives for the
better! We loved that too but there has to be a
boundary, otherwise they would kill the goose that lays
the golden egg and that will be bad for the goose as
well as her keeper. So, we have had to put our foot
down without looking back!
Naturally, we are still prone to wasteful spending
in some other areas but it is now due to the occasional
failings of the heart, not thoughtlessness nor
carelessness.
I had tried to play 'god' attempting to meet
everybody's needs. But I nearly killed myself in the
process. Now, I have since realized that those I had
sacrificed for would have lived on, regardless of my
ultimate fate. Now I know what 'help' means. It
means “an occasional assistance based upon needs that
would add measurable value to the lives of those being
assisted”. It is obvious that there is a thin line between
'help' and over-indulging people. Everybody must be
prepared to work with his own hands to become
economically independent!
With the new understanding, I can distinguish
between 'must-do' and mere 'desirables' in do-goodism!
I apply the same principle with my own children whom
420
I have counseled to realize early in life that they would
not live with us for ever but that, God willing, at
adulthood (25 years old or a little while beyond that), if
not on their own already, they should be on the way to
being so.
By God's special grace, as I write, I appreciate the
fact that I now earn well, though not well enough - for
I still resort to (thank God for the opportunities)
obtaining loans - credit purchases here and there to
meet some essential needs which are capital in nature.
However, I am grateful, for my level of earning has
made me to be credit-worthy in the first place and
suffices to the extent that I don't have to borrow
money to buy food anymore!
Also, having put the issue of shelter behind me, I
think I am on the threshold of Maslow's Physiological
Needs Theory or Pastor Adeboye's Comfort Zone
Theory, which marks me for nobler pursuits like what
Pastor Adeboye calls the rich, the wealthy and the
'flourishing zones'. The flourishing zone, is my
ultimate goal. In that zone I would pay higher than
10% of my income as tithes and make other huge
financial contributions to the furtherance and
upliftment of the gospel and humanity in general
without struggles and pain. At that zone, I can build
churches, establish viable Trust Funds for scholarships,
sponsorships and other charities which would impact
positively upon my immediate and distant
environments. That is my petition to my Father in
heaven and once granted, I would be able to leave this
421
world much better than I met it and die a peaceful
death!
Anything short of that achievement will amount to
a failed vision. As I enunciated at the beginning of my
life-story, I am one of the three identified groups for
whom I have a strong concern: a fellow “struggler”.
That is why I am ruled by vision.
How do I intend to get to that level? I have earlier
touched on the issues and virtues that I should
cultivate to overcome. They include a new way of
conducting my life which incorporates transparency,
honesty, accountability, budgeting (for which I have a
fast-selling book in the market, “Family Budgeting, A
Must for Your Family”) and data banking by which I
have cut out wasteful spending and indulgences.
Today, I am working on multiple streams of
incomes rather than limiting myself to a linear income
strategy, which had hitherto been the case. The
present-day economic challenges require that every
individual develops between five to ten sources of
incomes simultaneously! Unfortunately, many of us
have not got that message yet. Many parents are still
training their children for paid employment instead of
pointing them in the direction of self-actualisation and
establishing their own productive businesses ab initio.
423
As I have stated already, Nigerians are exposed to
all the avenues to make life meaningful if only they
would take them. Apart from the Igbo people in the
Eastern part of Nigeria who practise the multiple
streams of income system, all the other ethnic groups
in the country are so contented with the linear method
of income that once it is jeopardized, calamity stares
them in the face!
So, our salvation lies in developing the culture of
reading to keep us abreast of the available methods by
which we can live our lives in the light and sound of
our Creator!
If my readers want to be rich, let them find out
the secrets of wealth creation, starting with the Bible
which contains ample resources; then read up all other
books they can lay their hands upon. If they want to
be healthy, start with the Bible too and they will find
what will give them perfect health. If they want to be
an effective Pastor, follow the initial routine and go on
to read all the literature they can lay their hands on
regarding pastoral duties. If they want to be a Lawyer,
start with the Bible, from Genesis to Malachi! Do they
know that the very first principle of 'fair hearing'
origininated from the Garden of Eden when God gave
Adam the opportunity to explain his position regarding
the commission of original sin? If they want to marry,
let them start with the Bible where they will find all it
takes to have a successful marriage. While on it, they
shouldn't fail to read the whole Book of Ruth and also
Proverbs 31:11-31 for the revelation of the roles of the
good woman. They will discover that a woman is not
424
supposed to be caged in the kitchen or she should be
the breadwinner of the family!
They may well ask, why the emphasis on the
Bible? I have since realised that it is the complete
source of wisdom and knowledge. Every true wisdom
contained in other good books is transplanted from the
Bible and, similarly, every good book - motivational,
professional, leadership, etc - is a true distillation of
the contents of the Bible too. Someone, somewhere,
had practised and preached all human habits before in
the Bible, but it is good for my readers to discover for
themselves in the Bible. For instance, every leader
whether in the home, the workplace, the Church, the
Club, anywhere there is leadership challenge, should
be thoroughly familiar with the book of Nehemaiah to
see how godliness is effectively combined with hard
work and how every distraction of the adversaries (if
you like it, enemies, within and without) were
successfully warded off in order not to disturb the
vision of re-builing the walls of Jericho.
The Bible has rightly summed it up by saying in
Hos. 4:6 that “My people perish from lack of
knowledge.”
Lack of or poor reading habit amounts to 'lack of
knowledge'; lack of knowledge amounts to ignorance
and mediocrity, and mediocrity begets poverty.
Unfortunately poverty is a major bane in the African
continent and until that is eradicated, we will not see
true emancipation. I, about whom you are reading
today, have years ago done it. Let my life story
register something in you - that you cannot fail unless
425
you choose to fail. Secondly, you cannot succeed
without taking the pain to search for the hidden
treasures wherever they may be. I will give you more
details …
As I have stated earlier, what I practise is what I
preach. I had freed myself from the grip of ignorance
by first changing my attitude to reading and the natural
and practical effect of that new culture includes the
writing of this book!
However, a cardinal purpose of this book is to
encourage readers to use what they have learned to
make a success of their lives, whatever the
circumstances they might face. I also look forward to
their responses, which would make me organise a
crucial meeting of stakeholders to discuss, or interact
on, the numerous issues that have been raised herein.
The published outome would certainly profit the world
at large.
What I am driving at is that it is necessary to
establish that in order to be wealthy, it is imperative to
earn income from many sources that couldn't be done
or achieved from receiving wages of a single
employment, no matter the additional overtime pay!
(which I discarded as far back as the late 70's) . That
has been proved from the pages of Robert G. Allen's
“Multiple Streams of Income”.
When I look back to my beginnings, my first
employment at Specomill Textiles in 1974 or
thereabout on a wage of N1.05 (one naira and five
kobo) per day and compare it to my present worth of
far more than 0.50k per second, I must say that I have
426
made a tremendous achievement which was only made
possible by God who favoured me with a clear vision
anchored upon hard work. That is the type of
transformation I wish my readers to also achieve in
their lives.
427
Chapter 55
Eradicating Poverty
from My Family
My Children
Serving God
433
Chapter 56
Resistance To Change
441
To avoid the actualisation of such a frightening
scenario, I have since carried my enlightening
campaign of the ideal family to the doorsteps of my
own extended families.
I shall continue to preach the message to anyone
who would listen in my life time. If we want to step
out of poverty, we must do things in moderation. For
instance, if I want to help you to grow, I must see that
you are willing to grow. I won't make myself unhappy
by continuing to pay the school fees of a child that has
no interest in his or her studies. I do not see why I
must involve myself in building the life of a man who
would rather descend the elevator of poverty by
producing children indiscriminately. I don't see any
justifiable reason (except for stupidity of course) why I
should sit by the side of the impoverished who has
chosen not to use his or her own hands to work and
listen to his stories of woe. You must work to earn a
living and you must be engaged in a worthwile cause to
attract assistance. Your offerings must be attractive for
other sympathetic people's investment. Only such a
situation would let God minister to the hearts of His
chosen 'do-gooders' to intervene in the lives of the
truly needy.
My readers, hear this: I was once told of a story of
a Tea girl who worked for one of the topmost banks in
the country but who pretended to a sympathetic man
that she needed money to pay for her GCE
examinations. The man believed her story and gave
her the money. However, fortuitously walking down
the staircase of their multi-story building later, the man
442
came upon the same girl where she was buying clothes
with the money! That is the kind of 'wasteful help' that
some people plot. The dresses she bought would have
since been torn but if she had applied the money for
the announced purpose, her GCE Certificate would
have exposed her to better opportunities in life that
would not tear or fade! Let's assume that she even
failed the exams but she would have thereby added
value to her life having read the books. The
experiences would have improved her chances of
passing the next exams and the first benefactor might
have been persuaded by her perceived zeal to fund her
again.
Believe it or not, the truth is that our helpers do
monitor, or at least they are interested in our progress -
not only to see whether they could invest more in us
but also for personal satisfaction.
My Siblings - generally
My Paternal Sibblings
446
identifying in my little way with their children to
achieve common cause.
In other words, we interact as frequently as
possible, not only physically but also through constant
communication and counselling. We have a sense of
unity and there is no reticence. We throw open our
doors to ourselves uninhibited.
However, my main target is to perfectly knit our
children together so that their own unity will surpass
our own as their parents. I have particularly been
interested in opening their eyes to the menace of
poverty in our family and that they should do
everything honestly possible to ensure that it has no
foothold in their lives. This is one major gospel I have
continued to preach to them and I am happy they are
understanding the message. It is a project which I have
given them to deliberate upon and which we discuss
from time to time. The younger ones will meet us and
join the train as they grow and expand in
understanding. I want the corporate anointing for the
eradication of poverty to extend to every member of
our next generation and the generations after them
from now till eternity! They are being groomed for
research that will open them up to wealth-creating
ventures pari passu with their ongoing higher
education. This is to enable them ample exposure
academically and intellectually while my house is their
University of Wealth. I have a library full of
knowledge treasures and, whenever they are on
holidays, they resume classes, as it were, in my
'University' where they read inspirational books and we
447
discuss their contents from time to time to properly orient
them for self-actualisation and wealth creating to make a better
world. The challenge I have for them is to be their own employers
and thereby avoid the ignorant choices we, their parents, made to
struggle thereafter as worker-employee earners..
I am happy to see our children interact, especially during holidays
when as much as possible I mix with them personally to lay bare to
them my basic and utilitarian philosophy of life - an antidote to
poverty. I think I have had my bearing right and we shall all flow
together.
My Mother's Siblings
448
Chapter 57
My Passions
For People
As I stated at the very beginning, I am prone to
some specific categories of people. The are children,
women and genuine strugglers (their sexes
notwithstanding). I am not committed for anyone
outside these groupings, no matter the close or blood
relationship. Whenever I see or meet this category of
concern, I instantly recognise them and we empathise
automatically.
So let us examine briefly some of their attributes,
after which I will use my wife as a symbol for the
women's group.
The Children
The Women
449
They are akin to children, very fragile and very
trusting. Once convinced, they stake their totality to
whosoever seeks them. Between the ages of one and
ten years, they are like the young flower stems in the
garden. Between 12 year and 18 years, they blossom
and are full-blown rapidly.
Everything about them gives hope but at the same
time they become targets of all sorts. They therefore
become problems: to themselves, their parents and all
categories of people, especially to their male
counterparts. Soon, their parents are unable any longer
to vouch for their purity of heart. Thereafter, they
become, fully, their mothers' children and
responsibility because their father ceases to vouch for
their character. They become problems to themselves
when, with the evolving experiences of womanhood,
they soar with the dizzy feeling of the freedom to
manage themselves. So they begin to see, erroneously,
their parents as threats (some in-house rivals). They
want to take time out. They want to venture into the
world. They want to attend the night parties. They
want to belong to the group of those 'who have
arrived'. Their skirts become mini and minier. Their
blouse (these days) end high above their navel. Their
jeans trousers are worn below the belt. Some of them
go for the 'tights'. Their lips are multi-coloured, their
steps now well calculated to attract. Above all, they
become very fashion-conscious.
This is the period when boys will obey whatever
the girls say, ever trying to please them. They (the
450
boys) swarm around them like bees for honey or palm-
wine. Even the grown-up men (married or not) are not
left out of the game of natural dance of life. They give
them unsolicited gifts of all sorts, which make some
girls to regard cautioners, including their parents,
siblings and well-wishers as either enemies, fools or un-
progressives. They are admired by their irresponsible
teachers who, willingly, offer them cheap marks
whenever they are ready to 'play ball'. Their steps are
now guileful. Indeed, they tempt people and people
reciprocate.
Yet the tragic-comedy of this period is that it determines
whether they will be a success or failure in life. Only a few girls
avoid acquiring permanent scars after experimenting with the
signposts of adolescence: sex, drug, stubbornness, abandonment of
their studies, dalliance in disco, entertainment life, weird fashion
and all that. Some would have even over-indulged in spiritual
gerrymandering to the detriment of their studies!
Unfortunately, in emotional matters, women are
ruled totally by their hearts and, under such pressures,
they end up in catastrophe. They are either
'accidentally' impregnated or they become so exposed
to the world of contraceptives that they virtually
become prostitutes with the attendant consequences.
Their educational status, whether they are in the
Secondary or Tertiary institutions of learning, doesn't
affect or dampen their thoughtless reactions.
It is only a few of them, who learnt on the side of
God and humbled themselves, that are able to escape
the inevitable social scourge. They are those who
listened to their parents (whom they so cherished) for
451
guidance and read good books and watched films of
sound moral content. They are those who kept good
company and shared progressive views. They are they
who appreciated spiritual matters while remaining
studious as they pursued their visions.
Above all, they are those who did everything in
the fear of the Lord and in moderation, determined to
excel in life and be a pride to their Creator, their
parents and the larger society.
When they graduate into marriage, women are
sometimes victims of the battering of cruel husbands.
That's not all. They have no permanent names of their
own, unless, God willing, they are married into good
homes or are met with good fortune. Otherwise they
are victims to everlasting agony.
When they are visited by the calamity of divorce
or broken marriage, they are invariably declared
persona non grata in their own parents' homes. If they
did, as in the Yoruba setting, they acquire a name no
responsible lady ever wants to bear, “ilemosu”, which
is a serious stigma for life. As single parents, the
society perceives them as if they are irresponsible
whilst burdened by the total responsibilities of caring
for their offspring. In a man's world, their erring male
partners would have 'mended' their ways and begun to
perch unabashedly with other women in their lives.
Thenceforward, loneliness dogs their days until many
of them end up in the psychiatric wards.
Even when they are happily married, they are on
permanent sojourn. It's God's doing if their husbands
live long enough to keep their company. Even so, after
452
successfully rearing their own children, their position
changes to that of a nanny, caring for their grand-
children, and a house-help to their own children! They
move from one child's house to another in a ceaseless
circle of life-long catering. If the places where they
sojourn are rosy, they partake of the joy. But if they
boil, they boil along or are boiled in cognito.
If their husbands die, even when they were as old
as the Biblical Methuselah, autopsy reports would trace
it to them as the killers of their husbands. If the
women are young, they are easily appropriated like
chattel as a remnant of the dead man's properties to be
shared. These considerations are the basis of my
passion for women. They are at the receiving end, and
they are to be pitied.
It formed the basis of my early attachment to and
sympathy for my own mother, and I thank God that
He used me to wash away all her sorrows - at least for
the last twenty-five years of her life. She died a happy
woman and I survived her a happy child! That is why I
am passionate in my prayers that, God willing, my wife
should not taste of the bitter pills women swallow. It
is why I have resolved to be unconditionally
compassionate to virtuous and genuinely struggling
women (young or old) wherever we meet - without
any strings or conditions whatsoever attached. Women
deserve good treatment.
The Strugglers
453
I regard this category of people as those destined
to win but are faced with all sorts of odds in this world.
Male or female, their common denominator is their
undying vision and their unquenchable spirit to stay the
course of the necessary struggle until they arrive at
their goals.
They are willful, and do not believe anything is
impossible. They may be in a quandary for a long time
finding a solution but they never give up. And when
the opportunity comes, they grasp it with both hands,
use it judiciously and come up at the end with positive
results for their labours. They believe in hard work,
which they display in all situations in order to feed
themselves by the works of their hands. They are
selfless, too, even in their dire situation because they
look forward with hope for a better tomorrow - in
which time and elevation they are prepared to help
others out of their misery. They are invariably close to
God who always shows them mercy.
Above all, they understand the true concept and
meaning of assistance or 'help' and would not demean
it by converting it into an art of 'dependency' like
people I call “The Milkers”. (I shall talk about this
group presently). Left to them, they would not bother
people but the necessity for self-actualisation impels
them to do so. Whenever they receive help, they show
genuine appreciation and do not see themselves as the
clever manipulators of their seemingly foolish helpers.
The female amongst them do not see such assistance as
an opportunity to seduce their helpers, whilst the male
are forever grateful to their benefactors - whenever or
454
whatever they may be or have become. They employ
their personal means fully until it is exhausted before
they would think of or entertain any thoughts for
outside assistance.
And when they secure the assistance, they do not
exploit it for ulterior or selfish gain or profit. They
respond to others in like manner, and whatever they
receive they spend on the sole purpose for which it was
requested. These are some of the people I am
passionate about. They are highly ambitious. It
radiates from them, whether they be permanent,
temporary staff, apprentices or Youth Corpers, even
Industrial Attachees: they have a common propensity
to achieve and a fiery determination to make it happen.
Whenever I see them, I court them, and reason
with them as we jointly identify their problems and I
contribute my widow's mite in genuine cases. My
assistance is unconditional. In most cases, I am able to
introduce the beneficiaries to my home where, I
believe, they would elicit more favours and ultimate
understanding from my family.
Thank God, my good wife who shares my vision
in this regard, integrates them into our family and
sometimes the outreach also envelopes their families.
We have maintained this tradition even in the face of
some scandalous detractors who have tried to exploit
the situation to disrupt the harmony of our family. It is
part of the risk in the war against poverty. I accept the
pain joyfully since it will produce rich and better
people in our society. It is for their sake and the sake
455
of women and children in particular that I write this
book to encourage them.
My prayer is that God will remain our guide to
support others to the best of our abilities and that He
would not allow the gates of our enemies to prevail
against our stand.
The Indolent
457
the creation of good visions that will elevate the lot of
Nigerians and the world at large. That's a great legacy.
My current contemplations are many. I can
choose the pulpit on a ful-time basis to radically preach
the Word of God to transform lives for the better; or
write books on how to achieve the necessities of a
successful life. I could create a website by which to
reach out to countless people around the globe and
pour out life-transforming information therein to them
or join the handwaggon of those dedicated to praying
ceaselessly for Nigeria. I could also create a trust fund
to provide for the training of people for impactful
vocations. All these I have brainstormed upon. I have
also contemplated the possibility of venturing into
politics but have seen that in the way it is currently
played in Nigeria, it is dangerous for people like me.
The electoral process is fraught with bobby traps
without transparency, and the growth of a genuine,
democratic culture that will advance the harmony of
heterogeneous Nigeria is being denied, suppressed and
killed.
To me, politics, politics in such a stage is not
synonymous with service to others' but like a
professional career practice meant solely for selfish and
heartless acquisitions! How does one operate in an
atmosphere where the elected are a bunch of puppets,
bought and shackled under the constantly
manipulating, proverbial monsters called political
godfathers. There is no room therefore for the
independent-minded, like me. And yet, politics
458
remains the only direct and surest public avenue for
the rapid redressing of chronic social ills and inequities!
We therefore look to God for guidance as Nigeria
battles against mighty corruption for her very survival.
If the battle is won to the extent that those who
would hold political offices are prepared to be the
servants of the people (which might not be impossible
during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the
political bandwagon!
I have therefore resolved to continue to watch the
turn of events as they unfold (especially considering
the current bold battle against corruption in the
country) while exploring alternative schemes to fulfill
my aims. If the battle is won to the extent that those
who would hold poiltical office are prepared to be the
servants of the people (which might not be impossible
during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the
political bandwagon!
For now, however, I have concentrated on a
combination of what Robert G. Allen, in his book
“Multiple Streams of Income”, calls Inforpreneuring,
network marketing and internet fortunes, as well as the
exhortations of the pulpit to advance my goal of
helping people to acquire the necessary knowledge to
eradicate poverty from their lives.
I have already identified writing books as another
avenue to achieve this, and I plan henceforth, God
willing, to release books to the market as often as
possible.
I will also do whatever I can within the shortest
possible time, to properly populate my website
459
(www.joent-ng-com), not only with the electronic
versions of my books but also conduct interactive
sessions in the same web by which people, generally,
would key into their own visions.
460
Chapter 58
In The
People's Court
One criticism that has always greeted auto-biographies
is the fact that they are self-exalting. Because I am
normally self-effacing, if there had been a way to say I
achieved this or that, without a tinge of self praise, I
would have adopted that approach. If there's anything
like praise-singing in this book, then it is to God Almighty, and
the good people He sent my way whom my achievements in life
are centred around, certainly not me. I am only favoured by
Him!
In that understanding therefore, I would advise my
readers to ignore the urge to criticize my tendencies or
seeming hyperboles and simply use my related
experiences to moderate their own lives for good.
They should see how I identified with and received the
help of God, surmounted one obstacle after the other,
and the successes that resulted from the struggles.
That track is where the benefits lie.
But in the course of writing this book I had this
inspiration to allow a few people who knew me closely
enough to make some input. I particularly appealed to
them not to ignore my weaknesses dwell too much on
my strengths (if any). Understandably, I gave room
first to my closest ally, my wife; then my children
(biological or otherwise). I contacted one of my
'children' who worked with me sometime in the 1990's.
As may have been observed at the beginning of this
461
book, one of my greatest benefactors, Mrs Ogun,
contributed the second foreward to the book after Bisi
Ojediran's.
From what follows, my readers will agree that this
book has been actually co-authored by many people
(whom I appreciate for their frankness):
465
On polygamy into which we were both born, he
believes that its problem is not in the number of
women or the children that constitute or comprise it.
Rather its inherent turbulence arises from the fact that
the women in it do not particularly love themselves.
Naturally, they transfer their attendant bitterness to
their children. His dispassionate role in his own
polygamous homes, where he ensures that everybody is
treated with unconditional love without discrimination
- a practice he extended to my own family after our
marriage, has taught me a lesson to live above
sentiments in our dealings with all human beings,
especially in a polygamous culture as in Africa. I am
indeed surprised at his high commitment to his family,
nuclear or extended. He drums it into us that God
who created us into polygamous backgrounds
deposited blessings therein for our benefit. Therefore,
those who revolt in the circumstance or environment
reject their ordained messianic roles in them!
Genuine love is the need for everyone to practise
it wherever one finds oneself. That is his greatest
gospel. Relying on the relevant provisions of the Bible,
he teaches it to us in the family, day and night, and
practically demonstrates it in everything he does -
sometimes at the risk of everything he has!
Because he is trustworthy, the disposition attracts
people to him from all spheres of life. He is, clearly, a
crowd puller who enjoys the recognition (whenever he
is not in isolation writing his books or carrying out his
numerous researches), solving everyone's problems to
the best of his means. He regards all his interactions
466
with people in all spheres of human engagement no
matter their ages as family, whom he treats equally. I
was initially disturbed by this all-inclusive existence (for
I considered him too plain for the Nigerian
environment) but eventually accepted the situation as
his natural inclination. He once told me: “I would
most likely die early if I am not allowed to relate freely
with people!”
He hates cheating and admonishes that “we can be
rich without stealing”. He believes that people should
endeavour to keep proper records of their properties
so as to be able to explain themselves whenever the
situation arises.
While he may be regarded as a core giver, he
makes the distinction between a “Father Christmas”
and a “purposeful” welfarer. Apart from his generosity
due to “general love for people”, he likes to be
convinced of the productive use to which his giving is
put before committing himself.
If you offend him, rather than keep malice, he
believes he could call you and tell you exactly where
you went wrong and continue to relate with you as if
there had been no ripple!
He has an especial soft spot for women and
children whom he sees as vulnerable victims in our
society. He therefore encourages me to own
properties as much as I can and supports me in doing
so.
Another unique quality of Yemi is his ability to
tame people no matter how difficult they may be. So
he can cope with all manner of men, women and
467
children. He simply operates at their levels and thereby
registering himself in their hearts in no time at all! I am
not gifted with such patience!
He's delighted when people visit but upset if they
are ill-treated or mistreated. Until amends are made, he
will continue to worry! So to avoid embarrassment, you
must treat visitors correctly and his definition of
proper treatment is 'total comfort'!
Yemi has some weaknesses like everyone else.
For instance, when he decides to talk, he does so
ceaselessly but when he chooses to keep quiet, he's
withdrawn, dumb and irritating!
He's a restless fellow too. I have had to appeal to him
to have days when he rests and eats properly. Each
time we served his food, we are very cautious about the
size. If, in trying to please him and make him eat well,
the food exceeds a certain measure, he would not eat
the food. He would simply complain that we have
succeeded in spoiling his appetite! If the salt is not
enough or a little bit more than necessary, he might not
eat food! The position of our bed shifts according to
his mood and the whole house is re-organised
endlessly! He pays serious attention to details.
On the spiritual side, I see him as deep-rooted in
the word of God, yet he claims as far as the
understanding of the Bible is concerned 'I am a
novice'. I think the Bible is his sustenance and driving
force.
He manages to harmonise his love for me with his
obsession for (and addiction to) his electronic gadgets
(computers of all shades, sophisticated handsets,
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desktops, palm-tops, etc), which he treasures so much
and with which he acomplishes feats. He is very
sensitive about these gadgets and his books! Above all,
he loves taking what I call 'positive risks'!
His ability to effectively manage crises was fully
demonstrated through the way he prayerfully and
coolheadedly managed the change of name sometimes
in the early 1990's apparently without hurting anybody,
even in the face of provocation!
I must confess that Yemi is the one who actually
opened me up to several facets of life (how to relate
with extended families, children, neighbours,etc) and
still continues to expand my understanding even as I
write.
Whatever successes I may have recorded in my
marriage and in some other areas of life, I achieved
them because he has good visions for his home. I
identify with those visions, as he has done with mine.
No doubt Yemi is an asset to all.
- Mary
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Our Father, As We Know Him
My dad is a man, a real man if you know what I
mean. He is made in the image of God indeed and I
really thank God for him as I observe his many virtues
, apart from his discipline, maturity and fatherly love.
He leads us by example and, as his son, I know that his
example is a great challenge for me now and in the
future.
I don't think I have found a better example of a
true father, a loving husband, and a family-oriented
man than him. He makes his mistakes sometimes, but
admits his flaws too. However, such natural
shortcomings haven't diminished his being loving. He
has truly laid a great example of self-development for
us all. Whatever he has done in the family, he has
always carried my mother particularly along. Any
decision he has taken concerning the home or
whatever he tells us about anything, he always
concludes with “Your mother and I have discussed and
this is our conclusion…” .
Another delight for the family is that he speaks our
local dialect fluently with our mum and we are able to
share because the rest of us have been taught well in
the use of language. I thank God for making him my
mother's loving husband who has cared for us the way
only a good father could have done.
- Olumide
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I cant' really write all I know about this man called
Yemi Omogboyega than to say he is a worthy father.
He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed
poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was
determined to attain greater heights academically,
economically and spiritually.
He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed
poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was
determined to attain greater heights academically,
economically and spiritually. I do not know much
about his past, except what I read from the first edition
of his book, “Better Tomorrow” published when I was
5 years old (which I got hold of). He is a man who
could be confided in.
The bottom line of his success in life is the Bible,
which is one and the most important thing he used in
guiding and bringing us up. Though he is the head of
the family, decisions in the family are taken collectively
through dialogue and mutual agreement.
He's a man who has time for his family despite his
workload. He devotes time for his children and his
family. He corrects lovingly when it is needed and
frowns seriously at laziness and whoever jeopardizes
his education and spirituality. Though I personally was
a “bone in his neck”, he made me 'flesh' through God's
word and his persistence, now. Now I testify to his
capability of being a good father. When I speak to my
friends and learn about their own backgrounds, I have
reason to always thank God for the kind of man he
made my father!
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The times I don't like to see him is when he is
angry because he sets fear in the mind of the culprit,
even if the culprit wants to confess. He lays so much
emphasis on the offence that the culprit is forced to
keep quiet till he calms down. But I think he still
empathises. His positive influence in our entire
families is overwhelming. Though man cannot be
satisfied, he tries his best economically, academically,
and spiritually.
As I said earlier, I can only write on him limitedly
because God knows him best. His attitude isn't new to
me because it had been revealed to me in a dream
when I was less than two years old that the family I
was in was the best I could ever be and it later turned
out to be so ever since.
I pray that Dad lives long enough to be able to
impart this legacy on many, and we should be able to
do as he did, in Jesus name. If God would be that
faithful, I pray that God gives me the grace to be able
to truly appreciate him during his lifetime.
” - Muyiwa
472
“For the first 15 years of my life, which I have
spent with my father, I have learnt a lot from him, and
he has had a lot of positive impact on my life in that
time.
First and foremost, my father is loving, caring,
kind and tender-hearted . He has exhibited these
qualities not only to his biological children but also to
his aged parents, other members of the larger family as
a whole and to people around him in general.
His first act of love, has been to send us, all his
children to good schools for proper education, and he
has taken time to assess our performance at school
almost every day. He reminds us constantly that
examiners who set our question papers are human
beings and that such questions have correct answers,
which can be arrived at diligently without resorting to
cheating. He has always assured us of his assistance to
enable us do well in the examinations but he would
never subscribe to or tolerate cheating, nor beg or
bribe his way for us to secure admission to any higher
institutions!
Just as he encourages us, so also he doles out
discipline to us on the other hand as he advises us on
very many issues of life. He demonstrates this
evenhandedness also to his extended families - every
member he attends to whenever the need arises.
Indeed he actively cultivates the harmony that exists
between the families.
Secondly, even if I am the one saying so, my father
is a God-fearing person, a disposition, he told us, that
generated from the early religious teaching his mother
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gave to him which wisdom he, in turn, was obliged to
pass on to us for our benefit.
He makes sure that everyone in his household
puts God first in everything and that they participate in
the things of God in the church.
My first reality of my father's determination and
visionis the fear of God in him which enables him not
to get angry easily and, even in such a state, he would
never abuse or curse anybody because such attitude is
against the will of God. Another thing I have learned
from my father is that he tries to keep the right
relationship with everyone including neighbours.
He is a prolific writer as his numerous fast-moving
books, which touch the lives of people, attest to this
fact.
Lastly, one of the most lovely aspects of my
father is his focus on a vision-driven life. The oral
history of his life that makes the round in family circles
is that from his youth, my father has relentlessly tried
to curb poverty in the family. Even as I write, we the
children (biological or otherwise) have constituted
ourselves into a “ Poverty Eradication Committee”.
This Committee was headed by my Uncle and name
sake, Olasunkanmi Kolawole. Encouragingly, Dad has
assigned us a theoretical project to debate extensively
on poverty, its causes and how to alleviate it (!) which
would be subject to his periodic review.
The reason for doing this engagement, according
to Dad, is for us to be aware, early in our lives, of the
many tentacles and ramifications of poverty and learn
how, not only to conquer it but plug, forever, all the
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holes of its possible recurrence in the family! His
children's early sustainability was his shocking
declaration when I was about ten years old that, all
things being equal, we (his biological or non-biological
children) would quit his house by the time we were 25
years old to be on our own! At that time, I had
challenged him that he couldn't have been serious with
his statement but he had dared me to disregard the
warning. The effect was that I was triggered to study
hard so that I could pass all my exams before the
expiration of his ultimatum and secure good
employment so I can be on my own!
He has been a wonderful father.”
- Sunkanmi
475
“My father is a man who takes his time to give us
moral lessons.
He buys quality materials for me. He cares for me and
he makes sure nobody beats me when I do something
wrong because he believes that you don't need to beat
a child before he changes for the better. He believes
that it is better to talk to the child than to beat him for
every mistake he makes.
. He is a man who has a vision and plans for all his
children. He is a simple man. He does not allow
wastage in his house. For instance he is always annoyed
when we waste food. He pays our school fees on time
and buys us all our books. He checks our class work
everyday and tells us not to cheat in our examinations.
He says we can pass our examinations if we read hard
and that he wants us to be the best and that is why he
buys all our books for us, give us light to read and sit
with us to discuss everything with us. He prays for us
all the time.
One day he told us we must leave his house at the
age of 25 years! I didn't like that but he has since
explained it to me and I now understand his reason so
that we will not be lazy! I am now working to be on
my own before that age and God will help me.
He is the best teacher that has ever taught me in
the teens class in our Church. My father loves his wife.
I like to be like him when I grow up.”
- Olatunbosun
476
He Moulded My Life!
478
He Has The Right Answer to Every Question!
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Chapter 59
I am Grateful!
To God
When I reflect
Upon those moments of distress
seeming hopelessness in my
life as a lone struggler,
And how you brought me forth
I will ever praise you
For your undaunting support
And protection
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Like David,
I told you my plans
And You acted swiftly
I thank you for my past
For my present
And in advance, for my future.
To My Friends in Dismay
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Chapter 60
I Am Fulfilled!
With this book successfully completed, published
And released to the entire world,
I feel a sense of a great achievement
It is a great milestone achieved in my voyage through
this world
I feel truly joyous, I feel great.
That I am going to positively touch people's lives
All over the universe
I am convinced that the spirit of the Lord
Will open my readers' hearts and minds
To the truth about life
And by granting them understanding
That will free them all
From the shackles of life
If only this happens with this book
Then I have left a mark
In the sands of time
I am fulfilled!
THE END
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