The wild grass theory.

Its just like when you were about to cut the stubborn wild grass at the backyard
of your house.. If you only cut it so it cant be seen with naked eyes, it will grow
back again. In order to stop it from growing back, you need to cut it to its roots.
The same goes if you want to erase someones memories of you, which means
you have to take yourself out of the timeline of his life to erase your trace. In
order to change the outcome, you need to cut it from where they were created
first.

Its softly raining in the middle of an autumn day.

He hisses as raindrops wash over his skin, stinging the wounds along his right
arm. He feels broken all over his body, as if his bones were crushed into pieces.
He can hardly move his head. Once he can see at his left side, he catches the
blurry sight of a few numbers of people in orange suits circling around
something. Or maybe someone, judging by the slight tuft of jet black locks
peeking from in between.
Help,
He feels nauseous inside.
please, somebody
Then his eyes flutter as they close.
help
==
When he opens his eyes again, he sees an entirely different environment through
his blurry sight and stinging eyes.
He cant recognize the place. Maybe hes already in his own afterlife. Maybe hes
sprawled in front of some judgment court for his sins or stuffs like that. He gives
up on trying, because his head is hurting so much he thinks he cant handle it
anymore. Just let it be then. He cant think of anything anyway.
But then something comes in sight a pair of legs, white sneakers and tattered
jeans. Someone is standing in front of him. Is the person going to help?
The person kneels down. And he hates that he cant look up because he really
wants to see who is kneeling in front of him. He feels the fingers of his right hand
are being spread, opening his hand to reveal his palm. Then something warm is
being pressed against the skin of his palm before his fingers are closed back
again.

A hand is caressing his head, so gently.

Im sorry. the person says.
He really wants to see the person properly, but his eyes are closing once more.
==
Wish Shop is a magic shop residing at the corner of the evening sky.
Your wish will be granted, if you exchange it with the most precious thing that
you own.
==
He opens his eyes to the sight of lilac sky in the closest distance he ever had.
Gasping out of shock, he sits up abruptly, realizing that he is sitting on a porch of
some kind of a house, or maybe like an antique shop, judging by the exterior and
the doors. Where am I? He wonders helplessly as he stares down at his body. His
right arm is covered in blood, and his fingers are balled in a fist.
He spread them open, revealing a plain silver band resting on is palm. What is
this?
A rough day, huh?
He turns to his side, finding someone is already standing next to him, looking
down. He doesnt know what to say, so he just stares.
The man smiles. Im Lay. he says with a friendly smile, offering his hand. Let
me help you out.
He takes Lays hand and stands up slowly, carefully. His body aches, especially at
the back side and along his right arm. Where is this? he asks in a whisper.
What what happened to me?
Lay takes a good look at him, drowning in silence before he comes to a
conclusion. You dont remember anything, huh?
He shakes his head in defeat.
Well, this place, Lay gestures at the house behind him, is Wish Shop. As literal
as it is, this is a place where you can have your wish granted, by giving us
something precious of your own in exchange.
Speechless, he stares at Lay. Is this some kind of dream? Wish?
Lay nods. What your wish would be?
Maybe this is a dream.

You... he whispers, youre really going to grant my wish?

If its really just a dream, then it wont hurt to play along right? Yes, I am. Lay
answers.
With a determined look on his face, he steps forward. Please, let me turn back
the time.
Lay stares at him with unreadable look in his eyes.
I I dont remember I cant remember what happened. he whispers as he
lifts his right arm, staring at the silver band on his palm. Why my arm is
bleeding, I cant remember. And this ring, too, I want to remember what it meant
to me. he looks down over his feet why are they bare? Heck, I cant even
remember who I am.
So you want to turn back the time? Lay asks, although he cant seem to find
any hint of curiosity in the mans voice. In order to remember the things you
want to remember?
He nods. I want to go back into the time before anything that caused me to
forget everything happened. I want to be able remember everything. he
assures, looking at the silver band again. I keep feeling that I have to
remember something. Something very important.
The cold wind blows a little bit too hard against his skin, and he shivers as he
watches Lay nods slowly. Is that what you really wish for?
Holding his breath, he nods again. Yes.
Alright then, Lay smiles at him as he spreads the fingers of his right hand open
and lifts the said hand up, waiting as silver sparks start to swirl on his palm, I
have the right item for you.
After a few moment, an hourglass filled with golden sand is resting on the said
palm.
Its name is Sands of Time. Lay says. Turn it upside down, and you will be
thrown back into the point of time that you need to restart your life from. In other
words, you cant choose the point of time by yourself; it will be determined
automatically.
He stares at the hourglass. It looks like any ordinary old hourglass in any
common antique shop. But if his hopes are laying on it, he would have to put his
trust in it too. I will use it well.
But, Lay cuts as he hands the hourglass over the other, you wont be able to
bring your recent memories along.
He blinks. What does that mean?

It means, you wont remember this. Our conversation, or this place, you wont
remember it while you use the hourglass. You know what it also means, right?
you mean, he stares down at the sandglass, that I wont remember that I
came back to fix something.
And your life might end up the same. The thing that caused you to forget
everything, it might happen once more without you knowing. Lay explains,
observing the other all the while. And when the last grain of the sand in it drops,
you might end up forgetting everything again.
Staring helplessly at the hourglass, he weighs up and down his decision again.
Will it worth everything in the end? What if he end up just the same after all this?
So, what do you say?
But again, his hope is in the grains of the golden sand inside that hourglass.
I will still use it. he looks up at Lay. I will use it.
Lay nods, smiling again it looks like it holds another meaning though.
Remember, he speaks again, once your wish is granted, you need to give the
exchange for it. Something precious that you own.
I will give anything.
As he was dismissed from the place, he thought he saw Lay smiling sadly at him.

When you try your best, but you dont succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

KRIS WU YIFAN IRENE BAE JOOHYUN ENGAGEMENT CEREMONY | STAFF

PASS
He shifts on the bench he has been sitting on, reading the fancily designed offwhite pass card for the upcoming elite and intensely guarded engagement party
its said to be the fanciest ceremony in the town for the year. He flips the card
back and forth, examining every single detail.
Just like a golden ticket, huh.
He looks up, finding his friend is towering over him with a grin. Im not sure,
man, he laughs as he looks at the card again, wont it be like any other
ceremonies weve played in?
Are you serious, Huang Zitao?? Baekhyun shrieks. This, my man, is the
engagement ceremony of Kris Wu, the one and only heir for the Chairman throne

of Wu Enterprise; its going to be packed with hundreds of upper-class men and

women who either will not pay attention to you because youre doing good or
torture you mentally because you do something visibly stupid. This is the biggest
shit we will ever deal with so far. Mistakes are going to be the eighth biggest
sin.
Tao blinks at Baekhyun. Whoa, now Im freaking out.
No, no, you are going to the amazing. Baekhyun points at him, stepping aside
as a guy excuses himself to sit on the other end of the bench hopefully he
wont be scared by Baekhyuns high-pitched voice. You have to be amazing for
the sake of the entire orchestra, Tao. For once in a while, the piano will be the
one that holds your life, not the other way around.
That sounds stressing. Tao frowns, staring at the card again. Should I pass it
to Seulgi th
What??? No!! What the hell are you talking about?! Baekhyun takes the card
off of Taos fingers forcefully and shoves it gently into the pocket of his jacket.
Tao almost laughed when the guy at the other end flinches in shock from
Baekhyuns dolphin scream. Youre going to keep the card, and come to the
practice tomorrow, you understand? Big shit, Tao, big shit.
Big shit.
Big shit! Baekhyun huffs. Now excuse me because stupid Chanyeol has been
texting me just to tell me to hurry up. Geez, Seoul is such a big place, does he
really expect me to be home by like five minutes?
Its your fourth anniversary though. Maybe hes already eager to do something
with you?
Yep, something, something that you shouldnt be wondering about. Baekhyun
pinches Taos already thin cheek before he walks away. See you tomorrow,
peach.
Tao is left alone again; if the guy at the other end of the bench was not going to
be counted. He stares ahead, at the gleaming surface of Han River under the
light of four p.m. sun, before he fishes out the card and stares at it again.
Whats so great about it?
Yeah, whats so great about it?
He immediately looks to his side, frowning at the stranger. Excuse me? he
muses up. The strangers face is hidden under his navy blue baseball cap, which
is so contrast together with the angry blonde locks peeking out at the sides and
the back of his head. He then notices that the strangers outfit is mostly in navy
blue, from the jacket, to his jeans, and lastly the pair of sneakers on his feet. And
wow, what a pair of long legs in

Let me tell you, the stranger speaks up and Tao realizes that he has been
staring blatantly, the big shit wont be fun.
Tao, instead of feeling annoyed because some stranger decided to talk to him as
if theyve known each other for years, smirks as he leans back on his seat. Oh
really?
The stranger nods, face still hidden. There will be a lot of animals there. Not
people, but animals. Ones that love to suck on whatever they can find in order to
keep their life on the clouds. Snakes cant even compare to their ability in
changing their skin in every occasion where they need it. What a bunch of
annoying animals. And the guy who will be engaged, the stranger points at the
card between the frictions of Taos fingers, is the saddest animal of them all.
Like an alpha in a wolf pack, surrounded by many, but howls alone in the middle
of the night.
An alpha in a wolf pack, Tao repeats in his head, failing to see the connection.
And instead of asking how does the stranger know the party or if theyre talking
about the same party at all, Tao nods in acknowledgement towards him. So
youre suggesting that I shouldnt come?
Thinking for a while, the stranger tsked as he tilts his head, feeding Tao the sight
of his perfectly sculptured jaw. The food will be great, though. he chuckles.
Just come for the food.
Why do you know so much about the party? Tao points out. Its like youre the
one to be engaged instead.
Surprisingly not to his surprise because Taos got this superstition thing about
being able to feel something particular coming up the stranger smiles, but
rather bitterly. Yeah. he mumbles. Wouldve been cool if only I am not.
Tao holds his breath, trying hard not to gasp and end up looking like an idiot. No,
this man cant be him. Isnt he supposed to be wearing suits and stuff? And does
he really have such free time, strolling along the side of Han River in the early
evening while he has a lot of things to take care of? But, Taos eyes linger at the
tiny tuft of blonde at the side and the back of the strangers head, this kind of
blonde is
Nice talking to you. the stranger smiles, albeit genuinely but rather awkwardly,
before he stands up from the bench, still looking at the gaping Tao. Please do
come to the party, though. I promise the food will be great.
Tao cant even nod or say yes as he watches the stranger turns around and walks
away from him casually. But one thing that he notes first as he watch the slightly
hunched shoulder furthering away from him is that
Kris Wu is really tall.

When you feel so tired, but you cant sleep

Stuck in reverse

The engagement ceremony is being held on the thirty fifth floor of BW Tower, not
actually the tallest in town but is surely one of the fanciest there is. At the staff
room, Tao is checking his own appearance in the mirror while the others are busy
shuffling behind him; Baekhyun is fanning himself although the air conditioner is
already at its coldest degree, violin resting abandoned on the couch next to him,
while Chanyeol carelessly picks on the strings of his big, dark brown cello. He
was staring in boredom at his short black locks when Minseok, the conductor,
comes next to him and hands him the rundown of the songs theyre about to
play today.
Weve got an additional sheet. Minseok says, slightly tense. Apparently the
male fianc-to-be loves Yirumas piece of River Flows In You a lot, and the female
fianc-to-be asked me to slip the song for the time slot where they will be
walking together to the front podium to exchange rings. Supposed to be a
surprise.
Hearing the mention of the male fianc-to-be, Tao cant help remembering their
encounter a week ago. Does he still remember him? Maybe not, considering how
he is just a very tiny speck in that persons memory. But what gives him this
weird, fuzzy feeling inside his stomach is that Kris Wu shares the same favorite
piece with him. Okay then. Weve played it last month, it should be enough for
us later, right?
Minseok nods. Im going to ask the others if theyre good with it. We cant make
any
mistake
today,
Tao.
I know.
Baekhyun, in order to fight his anxiety away, asks Tao to accompany him to the
restroom. Tao agrees since its still around forty minutes until they need to start
preparing with their music instruments. Once they found the restroom, Tao sends
the restless Baekhyun away as he waits at the other side of the wall in the
corridor, near the door to the fire exit stairs. And good thing that he is not a noisy
person because he was about to open the door when he hears someone, or
maybe a couple, arguing at the other side.
thought weve passed through this thing, Sean.
Sean? Im Sehun. Why are you calling me with that name, Joohyun noona?
Dont call me that. Its Irene to you.
Since when did you become Irene to me and I become Sean to you?
Since I was signed to become your sister-in-law.

Tao hardly holds his gasp. He cant believe what he just heard. So at the other
side of the door is Irene Bae and Sean Wu. Sean Wu Shixun.
Kris Wus half-brother.
Why do I feel that you want this engagement too, noona? You said you love me

She said what???

but you look so happy that youre going to be married off with hyung. Wow.
What a waste of years believing that Ill always be the one who own your heart
that we will actually have something in the end.
Stop this, Sehun. Just stop.
He is too immersed with looking at the door as if he can see through it, too
immersed that he barely realizes that someone is joining him, listening to the
conversation as well. And when he recognizes who the person is, he almost
gasped loudly.
Kris Wu is also eavesdropping to the convo.
Sehun, I told you, this is something that even I dont have any control of. The
engagement was made years before you even came to the family, before you
were confirmed as Chairman Wus legitimate child. I was already meant to be
married to Yifan even before you were discovered. What do you expect?? Me
turning into a riot against my parents?
Taos eyes widen, and he unknowingly stares at Kris, but the other is smirking at
him instead, as if hes not affected by the fact that his future wife since forever
was and still is involved in a love affair with his half-brother.
You know what? I take it back. You can call me Sean or whatever. Dont call me
Sehun from now on, it will only remind me of how I used to be stupidly in love
with someone who I thought would fight for the both of us hard enough. See you
at the party.
A silence.
Im pathetic and I know it, noona. For loving you even until now. Im pathetic,
and Im brave enough to admit it. What bout you, huh?
Then the door bursts open, and a guy that he guesses to be Sean Wu walks past
him in hurry. He then hears a faint sound of sobs, and then realizes that Irene
Bae must be crying on the stairs. He searches for Kris again, and what he sees,
although only for a few seconds, is a face of someone who is in a dilemma
between being sympathetic and being resentful instead.
Kris wears his casual faade again and sighs. Do you mind if you leave? he
whispers, asking in a polite way. Tao immediately nods and walks away from the

scene, trying not to make even a single sound. Right at the moment Baekhyun
walks out of the restroom, and Tao snatches his arm and literally drags him away.
His heart is still thumping hard even after theyre secluded inside the staff room
once more.
==
Irene Bae walks into the hall, hand in hand with Kris Wu, wearing a bright smile
on her rosy lips.
They got the cue to start playing Yirumas River Flows In You about ten seconds
before the enormous door was opened to reveal the hero and heroine of the day.
Tao snorts silently as he sees Irene Bae throwing smile here and there. Upperclass people are always so good at acting; honesty is equal to self-destruction.
Theres no trace of the crying young lady behind the fire exit door.
He steals glance at Kris, who is apparently asking something at Irene Bae as they
are nearing the podium, and Irene Bae grins at him in return. Maybe the
conversation went like; did you get them to play this? of course, this is my
surprise for you. Ew.
Sean Wu, though, is having a hard time keeping his composure. Its the time
when both parts are going to exchange their engagement ring, so the orchestra
is put to hold. Tao watches secretly as Sean Wu starts to slowly step backwards,
disappearing second by second, and by the moment Kris slips the shiny golden
ring into Irene Baes ring finger, Sean Wu flies through the back door.
Tao sighs. It must be tiring, being stuck in that kind of relationship where love is
not enough to make everyone happy. He feels nauseous inside as he sees Kris
and Irene Bae kiss each other shyly, mostly because he knows the truth, slash
the lies behind their gummy smiles. Cameras are flashing around the podium,
capturing every single moment of the nations hottest couple of the year. Tao
grunts. Can this ceremony get any more boring?
He eyes the banquet table. At least the food looks delicious and expensive.
==
The staffs are still having a feast at the backstage with ton loads of foods, but
Tao excuses himself to find some peace and heads for the rooftop, which is just a
floor above.
His eyes drink in the view of Seoul at seven pm, just right when the sun is at the
bottom edge of the horizon, and its color is a strange mixture of bright, reddish
orange, while the sky around it is painted in heavy hues of semi dark lilac, slowly
turning into black. He fishes out a pack of cigarette, pulling one out and tries to
make the lighter work. But the wind is too strong at the thirty sixth floor, and at
the fifth attempt, he gives up. Maybe its Gods way to slap him on the face while
He says if you die because of this thing dont beg for Me to give you more time
by then.

Hi.
He shrieks, almost jumping a meter away out of shock as he tries to find the
source of the unexpected heavy, husky voice. And voila, who he finds is
somehow not really that surprising.
How come the host of the party leaves the party itself? Tao muses up, fingers
playing with the unlit cigarette.
Kris Wu snorts as he leans against the railing next to him. He has no answer for
Taos remark, apparently. Kris Wu, from the side, looks like he can easily make it
to supermodel stuff with that kind of inhumanely handsome face and height. His
golden blonde locks are dancing along the pace of the wind, and they really
makes a beautiful contrast with his navy blue dress shirt. Navy blue again.
You were like this too back then. Kris says without even looking at him.
Staring at me like you were going to devour me.
Tao blinks for a moment then he shakes his head vigorously. Sorry. It was rude,
sorry. he flails his hand.
Taciturnly, Kris stares back at him, observing something he cant seem to know.
Youre sorry because it was rude?
Uh, yeah?
Not because Im never wrong and everyone has always to be the one to
apologize?
Tao frowns. That sounds like tyrant shit.
Kris Wu laughs. Like, really laughs. With that slightly creepy gummy smile, and
hand resting against his abdomen as he lurches forward to contain his laughter.
I fucking know, right? Kris says, out of breath. Right?
Ive lost you right after you started laughing out of something I still dont
understand about. Sorry.
Hm, feisty. Kris grins. Cool. You can be my very best buddy.
Youre actually creeping me out right now. It feels like youre going to kidnap me
and rape me somewhere any second from now.
Kris rests a hand against his chest as he fakes an insulted gasp. Why you gotta
be so rude?
Dont you know Im human too sorry, cant help it, its my jam.
Chuckling, Kris leans against the railing again. Tao stares at Kris again, as if he
can see Kris thoughts drifting away into the hectic wind. Can I ask you to, you

know, Kris speaks again, and he barely notices it, to forget what happened
earlier, at the fire exit?
Tao feels his heart softens. Somehow he can tell that Kris Wu is asking him to
forget the incident not because of his own image only, but on the behalf of his
fianc and his brother too. Its no big deal. Tao waves his hand nonchalantly.
Telling random people about it seems like a trashy thing to do anyway, so.
Kris smiles, although not directly at him. You cant blame Joohyun, though. he
says with a sigh.
Im not actually judging any of you.
Psh. I saw how you stared at us as if we were committing a sin. Kris chuckles.
But thats okay, really. If I were you, I wouldve splashed a drink at myself, or
maybe at Joohyun too.
Tao thinks for a while. Did Kris Wu really have the time to even glance at him in
the middle of the cameras flashing at him? I really didnt mean to stare.
Anyway, as I said, Joohyun doesnt really have the fault on her. Shes been
unofficially engaged to me ever since we were kids, and we are the type of
children who cant say no to our parents, so we always went along the plan. Kris
closes his eyes, savoring the wind. Unfortunately she met Sehun, my brother,
and as much as a human she is, she started to want something out of her
league; the freedom to choose who to love.
What about you? Tao asks. Have you met someone who makes you want
something out of your league too?
Kris opens his eyes slowly. I never met that person. And I never tried to look for
them. Joohyun is enough as a lesson for me. he looks down, over the world
beneath their feet. Hundreds of lights are decorating the streets. Do you think,
he glances at Tao, that our marriage would work?
Hm, Tao taps his chin, judging by how you talked fondly about her, you must
care for her too, although not really in that way she has with your brother. I think
if youre with a person who can tolerate you as much as you tolerate her, then
yes, your marriage could work just fine.
So love isnt that necessary?
Tao snorts. Marriage and love has degraded their relationship to acquaintances
since like decades ago.
And Kris laughs once more. I really like you. Im sure we can get along great.
What do you say about lunch or dinner sometime?
Whoa, wait, this escalated quickly. Tao backs away. And you sounded like you
really have a lot of spare time.

Kris shrugs. I make my own schedule.

Well, I dont. I have someone who arranges my schedules for me, and hes really
strict about it. He said I cant be late to practice, cant be late to work, cant even
steal more than an hour to video-chat with my mom, and cant be too immersed
with something that looks like a fairy-tale because it will be just a waste of time.
The fuck is this guy?
I know right? His name is life. Tao laughs when Kris looks betrayed. He shoves
the unlit cigarette into the pocket of his pants. I was being hyperbolic, by the
way. Im free at Friday. Actually on Thursday too, but I only count it as half.
Kris frowns. What about weekends? Saturday and Sunday, I mean.
Well, my job requires me to serve those who are free on weekends, so.
The sky is dark enough now, and stars are already showing up. Kris smiles.
Friday it is, then.
Wait, so youre really serious about hanging out with me?
Consider it as a date. Kris winks. Winks. Winks. And just that. Because in the
next second, he turns around and struts away from the railings, leaving Tao
gaping like a fish in need of water.
You dont even know my name Tao shouts at him.
Kris glances back. Who says I dont, Huang Zitao?
well, then, you dont even have my phone number!
As unexpectedly expected, Kris smirks. I have all the three of them. he says.
Even the one you just bought two days ago.
Kris Wu disappears behind the metal door to the stairs. Tao still cant gather his
thoughts, still not believing the fact that he just got asked for a date by Kris Wu,
has his name and phone number known by Kris Wu, and for the basic of them all,
just had a long conversation with Kris Wu. Of course he doesnt worship that guy
but still, this is Kris Wu, whose net earnings per month equals a quarter of his
whole life-time saving. Hes like the pauper being wooed by the prince. Big shit,
Baekhyuns words echo in his head. Big shit, big shit, big
Baekhyun?
shit SHIT. Now hes sure who the fuck told his name and gave his number to
Kris Wu; Baekhyun was the one who bought the new phone number for him and
he hasnt even used it yet.

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you cant replace

Its already Thursday night when Tao realizes the real deal.
Kris Wu is an engaged man.
Yet hes having a date with that man tomorrow.
Or maybe, coming to the theory he had built for the whole week, Kris Wu was
just joking about it. Of course. Upper-class people and their shitty personality.
Thinking that they can play with other persons feelings and will be forgiven for it
in the end because thats just how life works for them.
Tao was drowning in his own demons when his phone rings. Maybe its Baekhyun,
or Minseok. Or maybe even Chanyeol because they will have the same shift this
Saturday at the downtown bar. He picks up his phone and turns on the screen.
From an unknown number.
Will pick u up at six tomorrow
He gasps. No. Shit cant be real.
You dont even have my address
Who says?
Tao was about to snort, because no way Baekhyun will go to that extent, giving
his address to some stranger, but then another text comes.
Im in front of ur apartment rn
I dont believe u
Will honk twice
And just as he was about to type his reply, he hears the honking sound. Twice.
He immediately runs to his window and yanks the curtain away, looking down at
the parking lot. A shiny red Ferrari is chilling in front of the entrance gate.
Too shiny?
Are u a stalker?
Maybe I am
Tao frowns really hard. What the hell is Kris Wu doing?
Anw see u tomorrow

==
To his expectations, somehow, Kris Wu appears in his casual attire, just like in
their first meeting.
Which is, again, so different from the image of the current CEO of the mega
corporation Wu Enterprise that has been embedded in everyones head. Kris Wu
is supposed to be wearing specially tailored suits, not the navy blue Adidas
hoodie hes wearing right now. Hes supposed to be walking with shiny dress
shoes, not the white sneakers on his feet. And his obnoxious blonde hair is
supposed to be gelled neatly instead of being hidden under the navy blue
baseball cap which Tao notices he also wore last time.
Im flattered, Kris smiles smugly, I can always make you stare at me in awe.
Realizing how stupid he must seem, Tao immediately hisses. Definitely not in
awe with you.
Theyre strolling around at the side of Han River both couldnt be creative
enough to find any other place to go to. Its around three pm, the season is in the
transition from summer to autumn, and the sky is not really the clearest blue,
painted in white, dull shades. Somehow Tao finds it quite melancholic, the view.
I like it when someone defies me. Kris smirks.
What? Why? So you can bit them back later?
A short silence. So I can be reminded that real communication do exist. Kris
says rather carefully, and somehow Tao finds Kris smile is a little bit melancholic,
just like the sky above them, as he says this. Yknow, where people can agree
and disagree with each other, where both parts are equal in the conversation?
Tao finds it quite odd, how Kris describes it. But then he understands something
hidden behind those words. Youre saying that all your life, people agree with
you easily.
Either that, or I would have no saying in the conversation. Mostly with my dad.
And my mom. And my brother.
Tao considers to say poor you but then how can he say that to a Wu? He then
thinks he can say isnt it great that people agree with you all the time but then
it might be a little bit too snappy. So he ends up saying; well you can have a real
communication with me. I will occasionally agree with you and disagree with you
most of the other times.
Taciturnly, Tao notices that Kris is glancing at him, and if hes not mistaken, he
sees fondness in Kris eyes. Yeah. the other mumbles. That will be cool.
The atmosphere is getting awkward, so Tao settles up a sigh as he stretches his
arms outwards. Why are we here again?

They eventually stop at some spot, slightly leaning against the railings. Kris kicks
the tip of his sneakers against the ground beneath them out of habit, and Tao
really thought he was going to say some cheesy lines like because we met here
the first time or because the river reminds me of you, but he notices the small
smirk on Kris plump lips. Oh holy plump lips what? Because you couldnt pick
any better place.
Excuse me? You were the one who stalked for my phone number and my
address and asked me to go with you for a date, Tao presses his index finger
gently against Kris broad chest, how was it my responsibility to choose the
place?
But I said we can go wherever you like, I gave you the luxury to choose, yet
you didnt use it well.
Im starting to believe that it was just a spur of moment when you asked me
out. You never asked anybody to go on a date before, huh?
How can you know me so well in the span of like, thirty minutes?
Their first date ever, technically, is filled with nonsense bickers and some bets
I bet you never swam before I bet you cant cook excuse you I can play piano
really well you wont believe how neat my closet is so shut up because you
seem like youre no better than me in when it comes to tidiness. Weird, Tao
thinks, as the night finally dwells further and hes finally on his bed, unknowingly
smiling goofily over some pictures he snapped with Kris just a few hours before.
Isnt first dates supposed to be calm and collected? Like, the both of you would
sit down in a caf, on a table right next to the window where people would
occasionally pass by at the outside, and some calming songs would play at the
background. A cup coffee or maybe an iced chocolate blend will rest on the table
in front of the both of you, and you will talk about things you like and you dont
like, your opinions about things, and you will smile from minute to minute,
because its something new, something refreshing.
Yet Tao thinks back again, and all he can remember about their first day is their
bickers about who is smarter between him and Kris, and how he had spent good
five minutes laughing over how Kris had said that hes an alpha in a wolf pack to
describe himself when they first met, and the soft, warm smile on Kris lips that
lasted for no more than five seconds when he said to the blonde haired guy I
believe that people, be it good or bad, rich or poor, old or young, has their life as
complex as everyone else, so basically no one has the right to judge the others,
arent I right?
And as he starts to fall asleep, Tao recalls how he never mentioned to Kris about
his thoughts regarding the latter being engaged.

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Theres a wedding anniversary party at one of the most prestigious Italian

restaurant in Gangnam, precisely at the VIP floor. The entire space is decorated
in the grandest way possible, the combination of silver and gold, with fancy
looking main courses and treats. This whole thing is no surprise for Tao, since the
orchestra group he has been playing for years in has always been contracted for
such occasions. Theyre trained for high-class parties like this, nothing less, a
little bit more. So Tao isnt supposed to be nervous as his fingers dance swiftly on
the black and white blocks, reciting Fur Elise smoothly, backed up by the
violinists and cellists behind him. He knows the music sheets to the end and
back, the scores, the tempo, he aces it well.
Thus, again, he isnt supposed to be nervous like this.
He still can control his fingers so it wont affect his performance, but hes literally
sweating cold, and his heart is thumping fast inside his ribcage, because right
there, less than three meters from the grand piano hes hiding behind, is the
ever so glorious looking Kris Wu, with his rich, obnoxious blonde hair and such
height that makes him stands out like a sore thumb. His right hand is holding a
glass of red classic wine, which is such a graceful match to his inky black suit.
And the smirk, oh, that sinful smirk Kris Wu is showing off at him is tempting him
to stand up and shove the music sheets into that alligator mouth of his.
Why are you looking at me, Tao groans internally as he finishes off the session,
look somewhere else, look somewhere else, look
Tao, you okay? Baekhyun whispers from the back. You look quite pale.
He decides to just give a thumb up to Baekhyun and signs that he can carry on.
He doesnt want to look at Baekhyun in the eyes because maybe, just maybe, he
might burst into a frantic mess in front of almost a hundred pairs of eyes. He
cant ruin the night.
But Kris Wu is still boring holes all over his face, with that damned smirk on his
plump lips.
Tao almost loses it when he had to switch fingers on the E block when he looks
up again and notices that Irene Bae is already standing behind Kris. And Kris
hand is gracefully draped on the young ladys petite shoulder. Theyre talking to
the celebrating couple, probably something like you two will be like us too
someday! and stuffs like that. Tao almost snorted.
He casts away the weird, slightly burning feeling in his heart as he keeps making
magic on the piano for the whole night.
==
You played fucking great tonight.
Tao almost dropped his cigarette as he jumps forward, cursing in the process.
What the he turns around, finding Kris Wu with all his glory standing right

before him, under the dim light of the back door of the restaurant building,
whats with you and scaring people off??
Kris shrugs casually. I was just saying hi.
Why are you still here? Tao grunts before he gives up on his cigarette and
tosses it onto the ground, stepping on it afterwards. The guests are supposed to
be leaving.
Yeah. Kris voice is already a familiar sound in his ears. But I had to find you.
Why?
Just because.
What about your fianc? Tao asks nonchalantly, probably due to the
coagulated sleepiness that is already melting and seeping into his veins.
Shouldnt you be taking her home?
Summer nights air is still cold enough to make him shiver slightly. He notices
from the corner of his eyes that Kriss own orbs are lost into the inky black sky
above them. Yeah. he mumbles. Her own chauffeur picked her up.
Tao frowns. No way. Why didnt you?
As I said, Kris turns his eyes over him instead, and he holds a gasp, I had to
find you.
Truthfully, he doesnt know what to say to that. Its either he doesnt know what
to say, or he couldnt say anything because his mind is a mess right now and his
heart is beating vigorously against his ribcage for the nth time tonight. He cant
pick which one.
Anyway, why arent you eating with your crew? Kris takes off the jacket of his
suit, and nonchalantly hands it to him.
Uh, the foods arent really in my favor. And what does this mean?
Im lending you my jacket.
Because?
Youre shivering.
Tao immediately shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants, trying to calm
them down. Sorry. Not really a fan of cold. Anyway, thank you, really, but you
should wear them back. Im fine.
If you said so. Kris smirks as he retreats his hand back.

Whoa, that was fast. Tao snorts, and Kris stares at him curiously. You, giving
up.
Kris laughs amusedly, showing off his gums and the double rows of perfect teeth.
His laughter subsides as each seconds passed by, but his eyes never left Taos
own. If you havent eaten yet, Kris speaks again, should we head somewhere
else to eat?
Tao eyes him. Youre treating me to a dinner. he states the obvious.
Yep. Kris nods excitedly. Consider it as our second date.
Wow. Its the second already.

Somehow they end up at McDonalds.

Tao never, in his life, ever, imagined that Kris Wu will be eating a double cheese
burger like a hungry cow and gulps down his coke in a rather vigorous way,
simultaneously. More than that, he never imagined himself sitting on the same
table with Kris Wu who is eating a double cheese burger like a hungry cow and
gulping down his coke in a rather vigorous way, simultaneously. Oh wait, did he
say it twice already?
I swear, dude, if you choke, I will leave you here. Tao hisses as he puts down
his own cheese burger on the tray, suddenly feeling full just by watching Kris
devours his own meal.
Fortunately Kris is wearing his favorite baseball cap, so it helps a lot to press
down his high profile, although his blonde locks still found their way to the world.
Three upper buttons of his pristine white shirt are popped open, the sleeves are
rolled up to his elbow, and the hems are left outside his pants, creating a rather
messed look. Or humane look.
Somehow Tao really, very, surely likes this kind of look.
I dont eat this often so just let me be. Kris says, remnants of the bun is still on
his tongue. He raises an eyebrow when Tao hisses at him in disgust.
You are a disgrace. Im very ashamed to be seen with you.
Oh fuck it, Huang Zitao. I know you like being with me.
Im very disgusted by your whole fiasco right now. Wow, just like NatGeo Wild
happening right before my eyes.
Well youre watching an alpha eating his prey so what.

Its good that Tao didnt drink his coke yet because he bursts into laughter in the
matter of second. What, Tao slaps his palm against the table repeatedly as he
doubles into laughter more, the fucking hell!
Kris shrugs nonchalantly and finishes off his burger. Gosh this shit is gross but is
so good.
Yeah and it also kills you slowly.
But everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
Tao throws his head back laughing. The lyrics fit so well. So billionaires eat this
kind of stuff too, huh. he comments, not really aiming for a relevant answer.
Hm. Kris snorts before he gulps down his coke again. I never really had
someone to eat McD with, though. My friends never liked this stuff. My parents
loathed it. Joohyun doesnt eat greasy foods. Sehun, his eyes wander over the
plastic lid of the cokes carton cup, I can barely remember but Im sure he ever
ate burger at some point of his life.
He can distinct the sudden bitterness in Kris eyes, as if hes reading a book
written in simple vocabularies. You talked like burgers are a very important
issue. Tao says instead, because Tao plus emotional moments equal a mess.
A success. Kris raises an eyebrow at him. Because they are.
God, this man is such a contradiction, Tao huffs before he chuckles in
amusement. Are you, you know, close with your brother? he asks, hoping the
topic is not too sensitive wait, since when did I want to know more about him?
Its a short moment of silence, and Tao was starting to regret his decision to ask
when Kris answers it with a smile. A rather melancholic one. We used to be, like,
real close. he starts. Im sure youve heard his conversation with Joohyun at
the fire exit. Hes, well, were not from the same mother. Apparently his mother
was involved in an affair with my father. One-night stands and shits. Cool,
though, it brought me a baby brother one day, around two weeks after my sixth
birthday. He was one or two years old back then, if Im not mistaken. A few
weeks after he was brought to our house, my father got married with her mother,
which also had become my legal mother until now.
Wait, Tao leans forward, Im sorry if Im going to be insensitive, but, your
mom, is not your mom? Then how about your real mom?
Kris looks a little bit lost for a few seconds. Ah, I didnt mention it yet? he says
with a chuckle. My mother died, like, a few days before they came.
Taos blood goes cold.
Dont worry, she wasnt killed or stuffs like that. It was a car accident. She died
on the scene. And voila, I was motherless for a few weeks before I got the
replacement. Kris sighs softly. Am never satisfied with the service even until

now, though. Anyway, back to my story with my brother. He was two back then,
and I was mesmerized by how tiny and cute he was, so without knowing, I kept
wanting to be with him and play with him all the time. So its safe to say that he
grew up being glued by my side. Plus Joohyun, we did almost everything possible
together.
Somehow Tao can imagine little Kris, little Irene and little Sehun running around
on the garden of their house. And his imagination is vivid enough, much to his
surprise.
But even the closest people will grow apart one day. That was what I learned.
Life just happens. Things would happen and be in the way, and you would always
try to ignore it, to endure it, until one day you realize that nothings going to
work between the two of you anymore. For me and Sehun, it was natural. My
grandfather had inherited the Chairman position on paper to me when I was ten,
the paper was made official when I was twenty, mother got furious because it
wasnt fair that I got the position just because Ive always been grandfathers
favorite, she got more furious that father was also happy with the decision
without even considering Sehun, and Sehun finally understood the unfairness as
well. It was a major point to our distance. Kris pauses for a while. And also,
Sehun has been in love with Joohyun since forever but he only was sure about it
when he was eighteen, and Joohyun also had the same feeling, and they were
dating secretly for years until three months ago, my grandfather decided to
announce to the family that I and Joohyun are getting engaged. So, there we
are.
But its not like youre the one who wanted everything in the first place. Tao
comments with a frown. You were just swept along with things you had no
control of.
Kris smile is bitter. But still. If Sehun has one person to hate the most, it would
always be me. And its because we have no control of everything that he hates
me even more.
But whats so cool about the Chairman position anyway??
I know right? That was what I thought about when I first realized that the source
of my problem with mother is the Chairman thing. I even told my grandfather
that I would be fine if he inherit the position to Sehun instead, but I got scolded
in exchange. Kris laughs. Then I came to understand. If I become the
Chairman, it means I have the control over every single thing that the company
owns, every single thing my grandfather had built from dirt. Everything the
company ever had, has, or will have in the future, is attached on my fingertips.
Thats the point; I have control, and its given to me just like that, taxes free. A
lot of people in this city could kill each other to get to that position if its what it
takes, yet it was given to me even before I understood how powerful it was. But
Sehun, on the other hand, was always the second option to my grandfather. If
grandfather always asked me how my day was or if I was tired or not, Sehun was
told not to slack off and to attend every class that was assigned for him diligently
so he wont bring shame to the family. If I was directly signed to be Chairman,
Sehun was told to study hard in order to become my CEO. Let me ask you, Kris

leans forward as he stares up at Tao, if you were Sehun, what would be the first
word youd think of the situation?
Tao stares at Kris back. Unfair. he answers truthfully.
Kris leans back with a satisfied smile. Now you see the real deal is?
It sucks.
Yeah. Life sucks. Kris sighs heavily this time. If only everyone is selfless and
satisfied of their lives, hatred wont ever exist.
But still, it wasnt your fault that your grandfather loves you more or you were
born as as you.
Yet its easier for him to hate me than to understand me. If he doesnt hate me,
then where would he put all his hatred towards all of the unfairness on?
Tao folds his hands in front of his abdomen. Its unfair to you then.
It doesnt seem so unfair once you understand from my point of view, though.
Trying to cast the sudden anger away, Tao huffs as he looks out of the window.
Its already past twelve pm. Another day has just started. You know what, he
says as he turns to Kris again, you can eat here with me at least once a week.
You can eat burgers as much as your stomach can afford. I wont judge because I
like burgers too, I love it even, and Im okay with greasy foods. And you can be
easy because I wont hate you over things you cant control of.
He notices in awe, how Kris eyes are starting to glisten.
You know, like how disgusting you look when you eat burgers, or how stupid you
are if you think that cap can hide your blonde hair. Those things just cant be
helped, right?
Fuck it, Tao, you broke the moment!

Tao almost falls asleep on their way to his apartment. His head is resting against
the window, which causes his forehead to bump against the glass when the car
takes a left turn, and he can barely hear Kris evil laugh next to him on the driver
seat. Twenty minutes or so, and they finally arrive in front of his apartment
building.
Just in case we wont be able to meet for the days few days, Kris says as they
stand right before Taos front door, Im taking you to McD again next week. On
the same day, at the same time.
Huh, Tao mumbles sleepily, dont you have another exciting place to take me
to?

But you said you will eat burgers with me at least for onc
Okay okay okay shut up. Now shoo Im going in because Im so fucking sleepy.
Okay okay okay bye.
As he watches Kris walking back to his car from the window of his bedroom, Tao
notices something that makes him wide awake once more.
Kris never really wore his jacket again ever since he took it off for him.

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

Kris Wu is indeed a busy man. He only meets him whenever hes the one who
calls to meet, like the late night dates they started to build a habit for ever
since the McD one. Other than that, Kris is a no show, alias hes like someone
whose path doesnt collide with Taos. It feels like Kris is just an imagination
because he came without warning and left with no traces. Kris doesnt even
appear often in any media because apparently he doesnt really like unnecessary
publication.
Its one of those Kris-less days when Tao receives a sudden call from his cousin.
And she just had to call him to her office so they can have a lunch together since
you have been running away from me for centuries and I need to see how my
baby had grown up!
And of course his cousin just had to work at the headquarters of Wu Enterprise.
So here he is, in front of the gigantic tower of Wu Enterprises HQ, with his jaw
almost reaching the ground beneath him. The building is really tall, with all its
grandiose design and shining gold letters of its name and a silver symbol of WE
being the center of the attention. Tao cant even imagine how much this building
costs each day. Or where does the money that pays off the cost fruits from. He
can barely have spare allowance to buy the latest smartphone in the market,
how can he dare to imagine himself running the company?
Shivering in horror, Tao walks into the building with hesitating steps. What if the
guards kick him out because he looks frankly out of place? Everyone is wearing
suits and formal dresses while he himself is clutching onto his slightly worn-out
leather jacket, trying so hard not to make his sneaker screech even a decibel
against the perfectly polished marble floor. He can feel a few people are staring
at him, probably in spontaneous disgust. Its completely understandable. Really.
You must be Victorias cousin!

He almost shrieked in shock, and his sneaker finally makes a screech. In front of
him is a fine young man, very tall probably taller than Kris why am I thinking
of him? and probably around his cousins age. I I I yes I am.
The guy laughs. I surprised you, sorry. Anyway, Im Changmin. Shim Changmin.
Ever heard of me?
Tao blinks at the man for a little while before he nods. Youre Qians boyfriend!!
Correction, fianc. Our boss is not the only man engaged in this building.
Changmin winks at him. Come on. Victoria is already waiting for you. I cant
believe someone still calls her Qian. he says as he leads Tao towards the lift.
Its her real Chinese name. Tao shrugs.
Suddenly peoples stares are not that cold anymore. It seems like Changmin is
quite famous around the place, because people keep greeting him and inevitably
ask who is the sloth walking behind him, while Changmin throws his charming
smile and says my future cousin-in-law proudly. Some of the girls even smile at
him brightly. Tao sighs.
me a second chance, CEO Wu. I promise you this will be my last mistake, I
promise you!
Changmin halts his step as they finally reach the waiting area for the elevator,
and Tao stops behind him. He looks for the source of the pleading voice, and
finds a man is already on his knees, head hanging low. Tao gasps, but
Changmins hand is quick enough to cover his mouth.
Be quiet. Changmin whispers at him. Its a common sight in this place so bear
with it until the elevator arrives.
A common sight?! Taos eyes widen as he watches the man keep saying his
apologies. He then shifts his eyes to see what kind of an evil man that has the
heart to let someone beg on their knees.
Then he recognizes the tuft of blonde locks right away.
Im surprised youre still here, Mr. Yoon. Kris voice is very familiar in his ears,
but somehow its not the same. Its a whole lot colder. It doesnt even have
malicious intention in it but it sounds so cold.
I cant give up my ten years position just because of one mistake, CEO Wu,
please give me another chance to prove that Im still worth it
Mr. Yoon, Kris looks down at the man, slightly tilting his head, are you,
perhaps, questioning my judgment and my authority in this company?
Silence.

I hope this kind of ruckus wont ever happen again, Mr. Yoon. What is the short
way to say this, hm? Kris steps back. Were done with you.
Tao gulps as a couple of bulky men come in sight and literally drag the man away
from Kris feet. Then another man in suit, probably the secretary, comes in sight.
The VIP elevator is still on maintenance, sir.
Lets use one here then. When is the meeting with KJ Corporation again?
One forty, sir, which is twenty minutes from now.
He hears Kris sighs. Then the elevator doors open, and a few people who have
been waiting for their turn, including him and Changmin, make a way for Kris, his
secretary, and a couple of his bodyguards to get in. Tao holds his breath, slowly
scooting back behind Changmins broad shoulder.
Luhan, he hears Kris voice again, why are we the only people here?
Tao watches Luhan the secretary hurriedly signals everyone outside the elevator
doors to get in as well. He follows Changmin inside, trying not to tremble too
much because what will happen if Kris sees him here? He scoots onto the corner
of the space, behind the bulky men, and bites his lip as he looks up slowly, only
to nearly gasp.
He and Changmin are the only ones who got into the elevator.
Well then. I cant be late, so.
Changmin is the one who swipes his ID card over the scanner and presses the
button for them and for Kris floor. Good afternoon, sir. the tall guy says in
boredom. What??
Tao watches as Kris glances at Changmin. Im sorry you had to see that, dude.
Somehow the voice is not so cold anymore d-d-d-dude??
Well, I cant say he deserves it but he has been acting as a pain in everyones
ass lately. Changmin shrugs. I think Ive said enough in the meeting last week.
Which was why I took the drastic way. Kris says softly before he turns to his
secretary. Make sure you prepare his recommendation later.
Changmin laughs. You know what our ex-employees said? Tao blinks. You
might kill someone in the company and got fired, and still can find a proper job
because your recommendation was written by Wu Enterprise.
So youre saying that?
Stop giving recommendations for those you fired just because you feel like
youve just ended someones life by cutting their income source. Changmin
sighs. It was their fault, and you were just doing your job.

Its easy for you to say because you dont have three kids and a demanding
wife to feed. Kris says. Not everyone is as lucky as us.
And not everyone is as competent in their job as us. So whose fault it will be if
they ever make a mess?
Sometimes I think youre a better person for my job. Ever considered about
being the CEO?
Changmin snorts. Nah. Im already content with my job now. Besides if Im a
CEO in this kind of company then I cant lead a happy and mushy life with my
future wife.
Tao watches as Kris stays silent for a while. Youre really marrying Victoria?
Of course, who else then, you? Changmin laughs before he reaches for
something or someone behind him no no no Right, this is her cousin. Zitao,
say hi to my boss.
What the fucking fuck
I still think shes an idiot for giving up her job just to marry a dandy boy like
he hears Kris pauses when hes finally in front of him, you.
Youre just sad youre losing a very pretty employee. Anyway, this is Huang
Zitao. Zitao, this is Kris Wu, our CEO, soon to be Chairman.
Tao cant even look up properly. N-nice to meet you, sir.
Then he sees Kris hand reaching for a handshake. I think you owe me
something.
Kid, its alright, take his hand. He wont bite. Changmin nudges his back. Its
your fault. Hes traumatized by what happened earlier.
Tao cant really see Kris face as hes looking down over his sneakers, but he can
vividly imagine Kris smirk as he hears him snorting. Is he really?
Dont scare him please.
Im just shaking his hand.
You can let go of him now. Changmin chuckles. Were on our floor, anyway.
See you later, boss.
It feels cold out of sudden as Kris lets his hand go for real. See you some time,
Zitao. Kris says.
Even as hes walking away from the elevator, he can feel Kris smirk etched on
his back.

Tao spent the afternoon being pampered by his cousin. Victoria is a young lady
with a strong motherly sense, so it was a natural thing if three hours with her
made Tao ate big meal twice, had three large cups of a very rich chocolate
milkshake from the companys cafeteria, got complained about his hair which
hasnt been trimmed for two months, and a makeshift session of solitary life
survival 101. Tao wanted to stop her because come on, he had lived in Seoul for
almost five years now, hes already accustomed to the involuntary solitude in
such a big city. But seeing Victoria reminds him of his mother a lot, and he
misses her quite much, if not a lot. So he let Victoria treated him like a little son
he was. At least Changmin was good at playing pretend as the cool father who
lets him do everything.
A short story about Kris Wu also came out during their conversation. Victoria
talked about how Kris was actually her and Changmins junior in high school, how
Kris always look up to Changmin as a honorable senior, how Kris was actually the
one who persuaded Changmin to propose because that way they would be able
to be married in the same year, and stuffs Tao didnt really dare to imagine.
Changmin also talked about how Kris was actually a very simple person who
hated spotlight and unnecessary exploitation of his background, and about how
it all eventually changed once Kris was handed the full burden as the CEO of the
company.
Tao wanted to ask Changmin about Sean Wu, but he thought that it would be
insensitive of him.
Shortly to say, he spent the afternoon in Changmins spacious office room
without any problem. He actually had fun, although hes quite shy to admit it. He
never really felt close to family in five years like he did in three hours.
Hes on his way out of the building, just the both of him and Changmin, when the
other asks something that almost made him choke.
So you and Kris already know each other, huh?
He almost trips on his own feet as they walks pass the grand glass doors. He
hears Changmin laughing as they keep walking until they stop just right before
the asphalt ground in front of the marble terrace. H-how do you know?
Ive been friends with him for like, hm, seven years? His eyes, his smirk, and the
way he approached you without even thinking twice. Geez, everyones an open
book, Zitao. Changmin chuckles. If you had seen how you and he had
interacted earlier, you wouldve understood too.
Tao shyly looks down over his sneakers. Were just acquaintances.
He thought Changmin would let it slip away, but then he hears him talking again.
Im not gonna ask you what kind of relationship you have with him actually or

how you two met, stuffs like that. But Im just telling you, Changmin pauses for
a while, to stop involving yourself with him.
This gets Taos attention as he finally looks up, curious eyes meeting Changmins
suddenly hardened ones.
What..?
I saw your texts with him. Ive known he had this secret affair going on for the
past weeks, Changmin sighs, and I knew the persons name is Huang Zitao. I
just never thought the person is you, I mean, this world is so spacious, there are
probably billions of Huang Zitaos in it, but why does it have to be you?
You cant even call it a secret affair because theres literally nothing between
us.
Changmin raises an eyebrow. Have I told you that I saw your texts with him?
But I swear its not like
And have I told you that Ive been friends with him for seven years? I know
almost everything about him, Zitao. Which means I would know if hes up to
something dangerous like, like this. Changmin steps back. Hes not good for
your life, Zitao. Hes not good for you.
Tao stares at his cousins fianc with betrayed face. Why is he trying so hard to
make Changmin stop saying things about him and Kris having to stop seeing
each other if he doesnt even feel that attached to Kris? Why is he not good for
me?
Its not about him. Changmin says quietly. But its about his life. His
background. Youre aware that hes already an engaged man, right?
Ah, the scarily significant fact that he had kind of forgotten.
I dont know whats going on between you two, but I suppose that you stay
away from him. Something will end badly if you keep pursuing whatever you
have with him. I can feel it already.
Im not even in that kind of relationship with
Zitao, can you just, listen to me? Changmin almost sounded like hes pleading.
I promise you this will be my first and last nag to you. Just this one.
Sighing heavily, Tao kicks the tip of his sneaker against the marble floor, creating
a screeching sound. He sees no proper end in this conversation. I get it, okay.
But Im also telling you again, were not in that kind of relationship. Hes just a
loner who finally found a friend who defies his perception about everyone around
him.

He thought Changmin was going to drop it, but then his soon to be cousin-in-law
speaks his last sentence. Just dont let any of you get attached with another.
And Changmin walks back into the building, disappearing behind the glass doors,
while Tao stares at his back helplessly. Is this some kind of prophecy?

And I will try

to fix you

Their usual Friday date arrives.

And Tao tries with all his might to act as usual as well in front of Kris. And
actually he really thinks he pulled it off just fine. He laughs mockingly at Kris
lame jokes, listens carefully to Kris deep thoughts, occasionally disses Kris for
fun, just usual things they do whenever theyre together.
But somehow Kris eyes are much sharper than an eagles.
Did I do something wrong? Kris asks as they walks out of the ramyun shop Tao
had introduced to Kris last week.
Tao stiffens, of course, and he really tries not to make it obvious. What? What do
you mean?
Dont lie to me. Kris says softly. I saw it in your eyes. In everything you do
tonight.
Suppressing the adrenaline in his veins, Tao fishes out a cigarette pack from the
pocket of his washed out jeans and picks out one. I dont understand. he
mumbles, shoving the pack back before he searches for a lighter.
Kris doesnt say anything at first, but as Tao lights up his cigarette, the words
come. You were staring at me like Im a stranger. An intimidating stranger.
Tao looks up at him.
It was in a mere of seconds, but I saw it. Kris says. If its because what you
saw in the elevator a few days ago then Im sorry if you were shocked because of
it. In such company, those kind of things could be common. They can happen as
often as your meal time.
What a harsh world. Tao mumbles again.
It really is.
Im sorry if I stared at you like that. I just I never saw that side of you.
He notices how Kris expression hardens eventually. And you dont like it.

I dont like it, yes. But I dont hate it either. I mean thats something I have no
right to judge or feel anything about, I guess. Tao shrugs, fingers playing with
the slowly burning cigarette. I really dont know how to react to that.
So its not a problem, then?
Tao shakes his head. A problem to what?
To our relationship.
That finally gets Tao stiffening. He looks down over his tattered black sneakers,
and then his eyes shift to the clean, bright white Nike shoes on Kris feet. What
kind of relationship, do we have actually?
Ah, I finally dropped the bomb.
Of course Kris doesnt answer right away. What are they exactly? Theyre way
past acquaintances. Theyre more than just friends who hang around together.
But theyre not lovers because theyre not even in love with each other or at
least they never confirmed their feelings to each other.
This might be the right time to make things clear, and probably also end them in
one go.
Zitao, Kris calls his name like a child spelling alphabet carefully, and it sends
millions of electrical jolts into his veins, because Kris never called his full name in
such way, look at me.
And so he does. What.
I like you.
Wow, that was fast. I like you too. If not then I wouldnt have followed you
around.
I like you more than I should have. I like you in the way that I want to hug you
and kiss you. I like you in the way that its only a step ahead to love you.
That makes Tao gasp loudly. He takes a step back, but Kris takes a step forward
to match him.
Kriss expression is still as unreadable as ever. Im falling in love with you, Tao.
Tao blinks at him. Youre engaged.
And I hope you feel the same too.
Youre an engaged man.
Wouldnt be a problem if you dont feel the same with me after all.

But I do. Tao replies firmly somehow. He doesnt know where on earth did he
get such courage, confessing to someone who already have a fianc and is
actually out of his league from every single aspect. I do feel the same.
Theres this glint in Kris eyes. Is it selfish of me, he whispers, if I want
something more of us?
Tao observes Kris face. There are some readable emotions on them
determination. He takes a step forward this time, looking up at the other with
slightly blushing cheeks. I think, he says gently, I think its not called selfish if
someone else wants it too.
And true to his hope, its more than a clear answer for Kris. The relief is clear in
Kris eyes as the blonde man reduces the distance between them to the point
that their noses almost touched. Theyre in that position for a while until Kris
speaks something Tao unexpectedly expected. I think Id like to mark my
territory now.
Cant hold his smile anymore, Tao dares Kris by leaning up. Please do.
Kris kisses Tao full on his lips.

Kris kisses Tao on their way back to his car.

Kris kisses Tao after he fixes Taos seatbelt.
Kris kisses Tao on the red light stop.
Kris kisses Tao once he parks in front of Taos apartment building.
You know, that, Kris whispers breathlessly, the warm puffs hitting the apple of
Taos cheek softly, things wont be the same after this, right?
Tao nods slowly.
Our date next week wont be the same like this. Kris says again as he leans
back. Im just telling this to make you think twice.
Of what?
Of being with me.
Pulling the handle to open the cars door, Tao doesnt really look at Kris as he
speaks. The moment I said I feel the same was the moment I made my mind,
Kris.
Silence. Yifan.

Tao finally looks at him.

Its Yifan to you.
Yifan. Tao smiles fondly at the name. I wont think twice of being with you.
And I wish you wont think twice of being with me too.
Kris doesnt really smile. But the emotion in his eyes are so vivid for Tao to dive
through. I wont.
Tao steps out of the car and closes the door before he waves at Kris through the
window. The light from the street lamp is rather deem, but even under such
lightning, the look on Kris face still gets him almost bursting out of adrenaline
rush. Kris has become such a thrilling adventure for him, and it has just
escalated more. An addictive sugar rush.
As he plops himself down onto the matrass of his bed, hair wet from a cold
shower yet cheeks blushing hot nonetheless, the summary of today finally comes
into Taos head, as clear as raindrops they hit them softly then pours hard on
him in one go at the next second.
Hes probably feeding himself to something dangerous.
==
It takes no more than three days for Byun Baekhyun to notice something
suspicious from Tao.
Youre either, Baekhyun says, spreading out his fingers one by one as he lists
the possibilities of the cause of Taos constant blushing and occasional space
outs, having a crush, having a boyfriend, having you crush as your boyfriend,
having a fuckboy
Hyung!!
or having your boyfriend as your fuckboy too. Baekhyun raises an eyebrow
at him. But since I believe youre still the innocent Peach I know, lets take out
the last two options. So, he leans closer, too close that Tao has to lean back in
response, who is the man, toddler?
Theres no one. Tao answers, and he realizes it was too rushed, so he clears his
throat and tries to act more calmly. There are only the two of them in the dance
practice room of the building their favorite place to hang out at. You know love
is a luxury for me.
What?? Psh, Baekhyun snorts, slapping Taos back, everybody deserves to
love and to be loved, Peach, be it living things or objects, tangible or intangible. I
mean, even someone can love his own imagination.
Tao shrugs. Im just saying that Im not really interested in that kind of thing for
now.

But the symptoms were clear! You kept blushing from time to time, you kept
checking your phone, and for Gods sake, you hummed some cheery berry songs
all along the hall! The symptoms were clear!
So youre saying that being in love is an illness then.
HA! Got you, you fucking smartarse, Baekhyun locks Taos neck with his left
arm, you better tell me who the person is or Im not letting you go.
Just right when Tao was about to push Baekhyun away, his phone rings loudly in
his hand, and Baekhyun uses his experience in hapkido to turn Taos entire body
around and flip his hand upside down to easily snatch the latters phone away.
Is it him? Is it him?? he shrieks as he taps the screen to open the message
from who he presumes is the mysterious man Tao has been hiding from him.
Ooh, Yifan. Baekhyun smirks. He says he cant wait to see you, Peach!
Give me back that
However the satisfied smile on Baekhyuns face immediately evaporates through
the thin air as he scrolls up to the see the previous chats.
He looks like Kris Wu. Baekhyun comments. His name is Yifan, huh? Why does
he look so similar to Kr
Tao immediately snatches back his phone to see the photo Baekhyun just saw.
Much to his doom, its a photo of Kris showing off his brand new name plate on
his working desk. Is life supposed to be full of ridiculous coincidences like this?
Zitao, Baekhyun calls him by his full name, and it means something not good,
is he really Kris Wu, that Kris Wu?
Gulping nervously, Tao slides his phone into the back pocket of his jeans, facing
the horrified Baekhyun. This is too fast, he holds his breath, even in K-dramas,
the main characters friend will find out about this kind of thing only after three
or even four episodes!
So he really looked for you, huh. Baekhyun blinks. On his engagement party,
he asked me for your number but he told me not to tell you about it.
Why did you give him my number then?
Because I thought he wont do something bad to you since, you know, why
would he?
Then why do you look so shocked? Tao frowns. You shouldve expected this,
right?
I have not.
Taos eyes widen. W-why?

The look Baekhyun gives him is so foreign. Baekhyun never gave him this kind of
detached, cold look before. Because I thought youre smarter than this.
Baekhyun says without hesitation. Ive already known that Kris Wu mustve felt
something unusual about you that he asked for your number, and seriously, I
kind of overheard both of you talking on the rooftop when I was looking for you,
but I never expected it to be this far because because you are you, Zitao.
Youre full of calculation and doesnt do clich shits. Then why are you how did
you how did the both of you get into this step??
Its not even that
Its my fault. I was the one who gave him your number. Its my f
Whats so wrong about this anyway??
Baekhyun looks at Tao for a quite long time. Its like hes considering very hard
about telling Tao the thing he should tell Tao about or not telling Tao about it
because it might ruin him.
Hes, Baekhyun pauses awkwardly, hes an engaged man, Zitao.
Tao rolls his eyes. Tell me something I dont know.
What are you doing with someones fianc, Zitao?
A fianc she doesnt even love, who doesnt love her as well? Tao turns his face
away. I like him a lot, Baekhyun. And he likes me a lot too. Why cant we be
together when our feelings are already clear for each other? Wow, and its only
three days since we confessed to each other yet Im already talking like this.
Well then, Baekhyun steps back, scooting to the door of the practice room,
youre free to think like that on his wedding day in three months.
That successfully makes Tao turn his head back to his friend.
Its on the news. Baekhyun says solemnly. Youre dating a man whos going to
be married in three months, Huang Zitao. What were you thinking when you
agreed to be with him?
Tao looks down over the polished wooden floor. Im not so sure, he mumbles,
but what Im sure about is that I didnt think twice when I said yes to him.
He doesnt even dare to see Baekhyuns face. He didnt expect Baekhyun to
react harshly to his decision. He thought Baekhyun would only scold him or even
root for him if he ever finds out. Good luck, then. He hears Baekhyun pushing
the door. I hope youre at least not doing something that will end pretty bad,
Zitao.
Things escalate so fast in his life lately.

And high up above,

or down below

WU-BAE TO FINALLY TIE THE KNOT THIS WINTER

ANTHONY WU AND BAE YONGJOON DENY THEIR PARTNERSHIP BEING
THE REASON BEHIND THEIR CHILDRENS MARRIAGE
AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF ENGAGEMENT, NATIONS K-DRAMA COUPLE
KRIS WU AND IRENE BAE ARE PREPARING FOR THE REAL DEAL
==
Instead of going out, Tao lets Kris walk into his apartment.
And instead of having a proper dinner, Kris asks for coffee, while Tao gulps down
his lukewarm mineral water down. He raises an eyebrow when Kris chuckles
while theyre looking at each other. Whats so funny?
Why are you drinking mineral water in your own house?
I like drinking mineral water at night. Tao muses up. Especially when its this
warm.
Why dont you drink coffee too?
I only drink it if I need to stay super late. Coffee influences my body like ten
times heavier than anybody else who can gulp coffee even at night and still can
get a good sleep.
So youre saying that lukewarm water helps you to sleep?
Tao hums. Yeah.
Kris smirk turns into a fond smile. Adorable.
Disgusting. Tao shoves the couchs pillow against Kris arm. What are you
doing here anyway?
I just thought that since I have the advantage to be more intimate with you
now, Kris places the cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of him before he
leans closer to Tao, I should at least have a glimpse of your private life. Who
knows, I might be here often.
You always use difficult words to talk to me. Just say I want to be closer to you
since were dating now. What a waste of air.

Hmm, no. Kris leans even closer, until the tips of their noses almost touched. It
has become a secret gesture between them. For you, I want to I have to string
up a lot of beautiful, special words.
Tao almost gasp because of the proximity. Be cause?
Because youre not just an ordinary part in my life.
If it was a week ago, Tao wouldve mused up a series of mocking words because
he actually despises romantic stuffs and Kris is being a red jelly pudding of
mushy romance scene right now. Maybe he wouldve said wow disgusting no Im
not talking to you again or you must have made that all up huh such a playboy.
But at the moment, all Tao can think about is how the words are waking his sugar
rush up again, just like how it will be everytime Kris is around.
They dont even need to say anything. One look at Taos lips is all Tao needs to
know what Kris wants to do at the moment, and one second pause of Taos
breath is all Kris needs to know that Tao is letting him to do so. Thus he doesnt
waste any more second to capture Taos lips with his, engaging themselves in a
battle of water-testing gestures, because none of them has stepped onto this
kind of intimacy sloppy, wet kisses, with hot breaths and Taos arms draped
around Kris neck while Kris hands roam allover Taos back skin, under his t-shirt.
Then his right arm is on auto-pilot, sneaking down below to play with the first
button of Kris shirt, tugging on it until it pops open. He presses his palm against
Kris broad chest as Kris pulls him closer to reduce the distance; to have more,
more of what they could steal.
Kris heartbeat is on messy tempo, just like his own.

Just like how Taos life has been escalating fast lately, the night had gone from an
innocent visit to a rather daring, dangerous, thrilling session. Tao, whos pressed
on the couch under Kris glory now, sneaks a look over his t-shirt on the floor,
crumpled, next to Kris white dress shirt he wore straight from the office.
Somehow Tao is glad that they dont rush it to that extent because really, he
wants to taste everything slowly, one by one with Kris, because if you eat a very
delicious ice cream slowly, its flavor will lasts longer on your tongue. So here
they are, panting, with Kris eyes fixed on his face while he blushes because of it.
But then, give it to Tao for the moment-wrecker.
Youre getting married in three months, Ive heard.
He notices Kris holding his breath. He half regrets ever asking that but then its
the truth of their situation right now. And he doesnt blame Kris for being silent
for the whole minute because what does he expect Kris will answer him with?
Im sorry? What does he have to be sorry for? Dont mind it? But the whole
world is shoving the fact onto his face now. Yeah I am? Not really Kris style.

Sorry, I shouldnt have said that. Tao smiles, and he knows its rather bitter but
he cant help it. I just I mean, are you okay with this, this, he gestures at the
both of them, this thing between us, while youre preparing for your marriage?
Kris is still silent for a while before he speaks again. If I could, I wouldve trade
everything I have in this world, he gently presses his forehead against Taos,
just to be able to throw away that marriage and have this thing between us
instead.
The words are supposed to make him smile, and even blush, but it also causes a
loud, hard pang on his heart. Why are you being so cheesy tonight though?
Zitao, Kris calls softly.
Yifan.
why dont we talk about something else instead?
Hmm, Tao hums, tell me about your childhood.
The tension on Kris face eventually disappears as he frowns playfully. Sounds
good. he smirks. But let me sit up first.
Tao laughs as he let Kris straightens up his back. He takes the liberty to gather
up their tops and throws the white dress shirt to Kris before he wears his t-shirt
back. Well, Kris says as he starts buttoning up his shirt, my childhood wasnt
really that amazing.
Liar. You mustve had a lot of expensive toys and a lot of friends.
Toys, yes, but friends, not so much. Kris shrugs. I think my only friend when I
was a kid was only Joohyun. I mean, well, there was Luhan too. You know
Minseok, right?
Tao nods. The secretary.
His father was my fathers secretary, his mother was the head of the staffs at
our resident. Luhan was raised by a family under my family, so it was natural
that he was meant to always be under me. Which practically explains why he is
my secretary and he bows at me everyday even though were on the same age
and went to school together. Kris sighs. Joohyun, although our friendship was
started because of our fathers friendship, was the only person who genuinely
saw me as just me. Just Yifan. Not the heir of Wu Enterprise whom she was told
to befriend, but as Yifan who she met on her fathers visit at a friends house.
okay then, boring.
Kris laughs warmly. Told you. he leans closer towards Tao to drape an arm
around Taos neck. And mom Im thankful that I can still remember her face
from my own memory, but there are not much things I remember I ever did with
her because she died when I was still too little. I knew she died in a car crash

from everyones story. I dont remember how my father got married to another
woman again, but I do remember Sehun coming to my house for the first time
when I was seven. He was actually a quiet kid, but after a week, we became
close. Joohyun always babied him a lot, and we always played pretend as family,
me being the father, Joohyun being the mother, and Sehun as the son. Although
he eventually wanted to become the father and I became the neighbor instead,
while our dog Ace became the son. Its marvelous how I still remember it quite
vividly but well, it was one of my happy memories.
Tao didnt realize hes smiling throughout the story. World was so simple when
they were kids.
What about you? Kris asks. How was your childhood?
Hmm, not really interesting. Tao shrugs. My dad kind of passed away when I
was three, or four, maybe? Yeah, something like that. Mom never really told why
and I didnt really have the heart to ask her because I dont want to make her
sad. Shes already happy with her husband now, which is a very cool step father,
really. He always nagged at me because I never wanted to take the monthly
allowance he always forced me to take ever since I came to Seoul. Whats the
point to live independently if I take allowance from him then? Anyway, mom
never really stayed at one job because she has a carefree soul, maybe too much
carefreeness, while step father worked at an architect entity for like ten years
before he opened his own entity. Theyre in Qingdao, though. I came here to
work for SM Orchestra two years ago.
Ah, right, orchestra. Which music instruments you can play?
I play piano the best. Violin is my side hobby. I ever tried playing drums and I
really enjoyed it a lot but I never got the time to learn more because things have
become hectic since my, hmm, sixth month in the team. I play flute sometimes
when Im bored and I imagine myself as Squidward, Tao pauses to laugh, and I
kind of tried harp but it was too delicate and Im kind of an emotional type of
musician, so it didnt really work out.
Whoa. What about guitar?
Guitar? Who does not know how to play guitar these days? Its too mediocre so I
lost interest in it long time ago. I never really liked strings instrument except
violin anyway.
Kris sighs. Youre so talented.
Not really. My friend Baekhyun can play a lot of instruments. he suddenly feel
sad remembering Baekhyun and their latest encounter.
Anyway, you didnt really tell about your childhood.
Because I dont really remember anything interesting from it, I guess. Tao
grins. Its seriously blank for me. I actually ever remembered a very big white
house with very spacious garden but I thought it was just an imagination Ive

made up in my mind because we never lived in such huge house after all. Yeah,
mines more boring than yours.
Kris chuckles. Maybe our childhoods were too boring that fate decided to place
the thrill and conflicts at our adult days.
Couldnt agree more. Tao laughs, and then almost gasps when Kris kisses the
apple of his cheek out of sudden. A-anyway, Tao stutters, why do you like
River Flows In You so much?
I dont know. I just do. Kris smiles in victory because Tao blushes again.
What about it?
Tao purses his lips. Nothing. Its just that I passed my audition for SM Orchestra
because of that song. While the audition, as everybody said when I asked
around, was kind of hard. Yet I passed with a single song, a quite simple one in
fact. The song has a special meaning to me ever since. He tilts his head. You
like instrumental songs, huh?
Not really. I only like River Flows In You.
What the hell happened between you and that song actually??
Kris is silent for a while. The first time I heard that song was when someone
played it on a piano. The person played it so beautifully. Thats all.
Tao frowns. Well arent you such a boring young lad.
They settle for a laugh, with Kris burying his nose on the crown of Taos head,
while Tao caresses his index finger absentmindedly against Kris jaw. There are
still eight nine days for us. Tao says out of the blue.
Kris stills. Dont count.
Eighty nine days left, Tao says softly, for me to have you like this.
Zitao,
Yifan.
Both of the stare at each other.
After three months, when we will be apart, Tao asks in a whisper, will you still
remember what we have now?
Kris stares right into Taos eyes, and Tao can see a galaxy full of stars, full of
emotion, blinking back at him before Kris captures him in a kiss once more.

When youre too in love

to let it go

Eventually, they dont meet just on Fridays, but almost every night as long as the
both of them can make it. Tao doesnt even know how things are in such a quick
pace between them. Even in movies, the main characters will hate each other at
first or at least be shy and hesitate a lot before they finally hit it off. But its like
they are too impatient to wait for the climax of the story and just skip the
storyline-building parts.
Maybe its because they know that their time is too limited.
With Kris, everything is new for Tao. He never had someone he is so attracted to
before. He never had someone he can do intimate things with before. No one has
ever desired him so much like Kris does, all with that simple blink of an eye and
Tao can tell that Kris is wanting him. No one has ever cradled him in their arms
like Kris does whenever theyre panting from whatever kind of encounter they
were doing. No one, has ever looked at him in the eyes with so much emotion, so
much passion, so much hidden tales of what could be between the two of them.
Sometimes, Tao is very ecstatic with the changes in his life. It does good to his
job, especially to his interpretation for romantic songs. Even Minseok is very
satisfied with his newly written music sheet because youre finally not just about
mellow songs anymore!. Funny, Tao never really realized his tendencies in slow
paced songs and melancholic melodies.
His life, indeed, is more colorful than before. If he usually runs his daily routines
in a loop like a robot, now he has something very exciting to anticipate every
night. Will he come? Will he call? Will he show up?
But at other times, he is afraid. Because nothing so good like this ever lasted for
long. He already knows that this wont last as long as he wanted it to, and even
without him checking the calendars, its already thirty six days to go before Kris
marriage. He finds the news one morning on a magazine, with a big printed
picture on the cover; a picture of Kris and Irene doing their pre-wedding photoshoots. Still, hes afraid of what will happen on the big day.
Yet, what is he so afraid of? Letting go of Kris? His heart breaking into pieces
even after all the expectations?
I see someones missing me pretty badly.
Tao wakes from his blank moment before he finds Kris already under the frame of
his front door. Kris looks rather tired, obviously from work, but then a smile
blooms on his plush lips when Tao jumps from his couch to run to him. And as
Kris envelopes him in a tight embrace, he thinks that for the sake of the both of
them, he shouldnt be thinking of the upcoming future because that way he can
appreciate the present more.

Maybe, just maybe, playing pretend that they will last is so much easier to do
than to accept the truth.
==
My Peach has been looking so happy lately, hmm?
Tao laughs over the screen of his laptop. Yeah, I guess I am. he says with a
grin. Especially with you calling me. Although not in the best time.
Well I hope Minseok will let you off just for this time because I suddenly missed
you so much.
I miss you so much too, ma.
His mother smiles fondly at him on the screen. My baby Peach. she muses.
Duh, ma.
So, as you were saying, youre having someone youve been seeing a lot lately.
May I know who the person is?
Tao doubts if his mother knows Kris since she has been in Qingdao for so long.
His name is Yifan. And dont worry, hes handsome, and and were going to
break up in one month, well, like that.
Yifan? Such a nice name. Is he from China too? What is his family name?
Typical parents question. Hes Chinese but he was born and raised here until
now. Its Wu. Wu Yifan. he says slowly, praying to the Heavens that his mother
doesnt have any idea who the Wus are because he might be scolded if his
mother knows what has been happening to the Wus recently.
And by the suddenly horrified look on his mothers face, Tao gulps nervously.
Ma?
Wu, honey?
Uh, yes. Just just some ordinary name, right?
His mother is silent for a while. Yeah. she whispers. Yeah, just an ordinary
name.
==
Irene Bae comes to him on one cold afternoon in October.
Tao cant even lie to himself that hes not mesmerized with Irenes beauty. The
young lady is the solid proof that sometimes God spent too much effort on some
of His creatures. Shes like a living porcelain doll, with pale white skin, cheeks

prettied up in pinkish hue, long jet black locks resting gracefully on her shoulder,
and round eyes staring calmly back at him.
I apologize, if I came here out of sudden. I should have asked for you to meet
with me outside your apartment. Its not nice to just barge in to someones house
after all. Irene smiles at him politely.
I agree, you shouldve asked me to meet you outside, Tao cant even look at
her properly, but its because you shouldnt be here; you deserve a bigger
place.
Irene tilts her head. Well, Im not even that big, so I think its fine. she
chuckles, and whoa it sounds like a soft morning bell ringing. Anyway, I should
just get to the point because I dont want to waste your time and mine as well.
Tao gulps. Is it going to be like this? Is he really going to be threatened by the
antagonist so he would stay away from the other main character? Its too clich
for his liking.
I suggest you leave Yifan. Irene says, still gracefully even with rather cold tone.
Whoa, too clich.
That, Irene adds, if you dont consider him as someone who is worth the fight,
or if you dont love him as much as he loves you. But if you do, if you dont want
to take him for granted
Wait Yifan hasnt even confessed his love to me like that yet!
then I suggest you to prepare yourself to be selfless.
Tao frowns, leaning back against his couch. I dont understand.
What kind of future do you think you have with Yifan? Irene asks softly. A
future where the two of you can hold hands easily without anything standing on
your path?
I never dared to dream such future anyway.
Then do you consider him as a passing moment? Do you think of him as
something you just need to deal with for a while before youre finally free?
Of course I dont! Tao exclaims. But thats not your business as well.
Im saying this because I know Yifan loves you. So much, in fact. Irene sighs
shortly, fixing her hair. And since he loves you too much, I know what will
happen later. After our marriage, Tao, do you think he will be able to let you go
just like that?
Tao looks down over his laps. Weve made a deal to be on our own ways when
the day comes.

I say its a nonsense. Irene says coldly. I dont know about you, but Kris wont
be able to just let you go like that.
I wont be able to let him go too.
Which is why Im asking you if you can be selfless. Because if Kris doesnt let
you go after the marriage, and you keep giving in to him, it would be a very
dangerous story. You will be a dark secret he has to hide from the whole world,
Zitao. Irene finally looks at him, and he can finally see the distress in her eyes.
And when you are faced with such option then, will you be able to be selfless
and choose it? Will you be able to live as a secret, a dark one even?
Im sure I told you we wont be anything anymore once youre married with
each other.
And Im sure I told you Kris wont be able to keep his promise. Irenes voice
rises. Ive been watching over you, Zitao. And I can see
Youve been what??
that youre too attached with him, just like how he is with you. Im sure you
will keep on looking for him as well later, even after the marriage, especially
when you know he still looking for you too.
Tao looks away, a little bit ashamed of how much Irenes words sounded true. I
will try to make sure I know my limits.
Zitao, Irene sighs, I think youre missing a point here.
And what is it?
Im not bargaining with you or telling you to do something. Im begging, Zitao.
Im in the middle of begging on you.
Taos eyes widen. W-what?
I beg you not to let go of him. Irene is the one who looks down this time.
Youre Yifan has been so happy lately, and I found out it was because of you.
she says quietly before she looks up once more. He finally found his happiness.
And I wont let it go away from him.
What, on earth, Tao mumbles, is there between you and Yifan actually?
Irene observes him for a while. Oh, you found it weird that I want you to be with
Yifan instead of telling you to stay away from him. She finally smiles. Yifan is a
brother to me. A brother I dearly love. A brother Ive always dreamed of giving a
happiness to because he has endured so much ever since he was young. And
now that Ive finally found it, she sets her eyes on him, Im not going to screw
it again.

Again?
But what makes me a little bit ashamed is that, Im literally asking you to be his
dark secret. Yet I thought, if you love him enough, you should be fine with it. But
then its such a rude and immoral of me to ask someone to be
Irene, hey, Tao calls softly, youre blabbering.
Irene looks at him, a little bit flushed, before she sighs. Im sorry. I dont know
any other way to tell you this. I I wish I can cancel the wedding but
But you shouldnt because you cant mess your parents expectations. I
understand. Tao smiles gently at her. Thank you so much, Irene, for caring
about Yifan so much. I understand what you mean. Our lives are already screwed
after all, and I kind of have nothing to lose, so I guess, Ill think of it for sure?
A smile blooms on Irenes cherry pink lips, a wide one. You really love him that
much, huh?
Still wondering why until now. Tao chuckles. But its kind of weird. Why do you
easily accept me like this?
Because as I said, Ive been watching over you, Irene winks as she stands up
from his couch, and what I saw from you was enough for me to accept you. Im
sure Yifan is in good hands.
Irene is on his way to the front door when Tao calls again. I wish,
Irene looks back.
I wish, you can have your happiness with Sehun too. Tao smiles.
But not to his expectation, her smile eventually fades out. Zitao, I I dont
mean to scare you, but, she continues in a whisper, I suggest you to be careful
of Sehun.
Sehun? Why?
Lets lets just say, Irene bites her bottom lip, that you wouldnt want him to
know that you exist.
Things escalate quickly indeed.
==
What are you thinking about?
Theyre laying on Taos bed, staring at the ceiling lazily. Taos head rests on Kris
chest, snuggling onto the warm navy blue wool sweater as Kris chuckles. You
look like a pup.

Which means Im cute.

Well you are indeed. What were you thinking about?
Tao doesnt say anything for a while. He decides to detaches himself off Kris
chest and rests his head on the pillow next to Kris instead. Hey, once youre
married, Tao starts off slowly, are we going to separate just like that? Done, no
more attachments?
Kris stares at Tao, thousands of emotions swirling in his eyes. Yes.
And that will be it?
Yes.
Hmm. Tao nods slowly. Is that what you really want, though?
A short silence. Obviously no.
Tao smiles lazily. Then, he whispers, have you ever imagined me, still meeting
you after the wedding, as your, you know, your paramour? Like, the world
doesnt need to know what we do, we can still be with each other, and we
So Joohyun did come. Kris sighs heavily.
can what? Uh, n-no she didnt.
You dont need to listen to her. Kris says as his left hand caresses Taos slightly
messy locks. Im never ever going to ask you for having a secret affair with a
married man. She already told me about this a long time ago, but I refused. Even
if our wedding would be just a cheap opera soap and she suggested it, I still
wont ask you for such thing. I cant I cant do that to you.
Tao looks up at him, determined.
You can.
Zitao,
Yifan.
if we really end up like that, we wont be truly happy, dont you think? Kris
leans closer to place his lips only a centimeter away from Taos forehead. We
cant go out together, we cant hold hands in public, I cant come home to you
every night, I cant even call you freely, we cant even have dinner often. If
people ever find out, they will look down on you because they dont know the
real story they cant know the real story. I dont want you to be tied by such a
sickening affair, Tao.
But, Tao counters, at least I will be happy, even if not wholly. I would be happy
just by waiting for you to come to me. I would be happy just by waiting for your

call. I would be happy just by preparing you dinner because I cant do it often. I
would be happy, instead of not having you at all.
Kris leans back to look at Tao again. He smiles, although it looks a little bit bitter
in Taos eyes. Being cheesy was supposed to be my part.
I can be a gooey mozzarella if you want. Tao smirks, before he replaces it with
a smile as well. I think, he says, I love you to the point where I will do crazy
things just to be able to be next to you for a few hours.
Eyes suddenly glistening, Kris nods. Gooey mozzarella indeed.
So my cheddar doesnt need to worry about anything, okay? Tao leans up. We
dont need to limit our time so shortly like this. We can be selfish, you know. We
can extend our luck as long as we can until that day when we really have to part.
Until that day, we should take what we can have.
Kris nods again with a gummy smile. Sounds great to me.
This time, Tao takes the first move to press his lips against Kris plush ones.
Although he doesnt hold it long enough and makes Kris pout when he leans
back. You taste like coffee. Ew.
Youre getting less and less tasting like cigarettes these days. Cool.
And Kris does his part as usual.

But if you never try, youll never know

just what youre worth

Its two weeks before the wedding.

And Kris has been missing for five days from his sight.
Usually, if Kris wont make in the end, he will send Tao a message about it. He
will let Tao know if he will come or not. But there has been no message and calls
from him. The last time he saw Kris was on Saturday and its Thursday already.
Tao cant even wonder where he is because, just admit it, he never really got to
go to places with Kris. He doesnt even know where Kris usually hangs out. He
cant ask Victoria or even Changmin if Kris is present at the office because, well,
who the hell he is to Kris after all?
All Tao does is wait, wait, and well, wait. Wait until Kris decides to show up in
front of his door with a smirk of I know you miss me so bad and picks him up in
a tight hug. Or maybe he can kick Kris shin and hug him after. The point is that
Kris comes back.
Will Kris come back?

He has to come back. Theyve made a promise to take whatever they can have
until the day they need to part. Theyve made a promise to still be in each
others arms even after the world declares that Kris was never, is not, and will
never be his. Kris has to come back.
Its like a dj vu. Its like their first months together all over again. Tao, being
unsure if he can meet Kris at Friday this week or not. And Kris, looking like a
distant dream for him whenever hes not around because come on, its Kris Wu
were talking about. Kris Wu is not supposed to be involved with such a common
person like Tao. Kris Wu is supposed to have no time hanging around the places
aside of his office and his circle. Tao and Kris, their paths werent supposed to
collide.
Let me guess. Baekhyun comes up to him, on the bench at the side of Han
River. Such a nostalgic place. Hes not around anymore.
Tao hisses quietly. Im not in the mood for some lecture, Baek.
Sighing, Baekhyun occupies the empty spot next to Tao. Im not giving you any
lecture anyway. He says. Im just trying to tell you that
That I should forget about him while I still have the chance.
Baekhyun is silent for a while. Thats right.
The inky black night sky above them is starless tonight. The wind is harsh and
cold. Tao is wearing three layered clothes yet hes still trembling out of the icy
wind. Or maybe its not the wind that gets him freezing. But, what to do? Tao
chuckles, too bitterly, as he turns his head to face Baekhyun. I think I wont be
able to forget him ever.
Gasping silently, Baekhyun gives him a look of pity. Tao, sometimes its
necessary to hide your feelings. You cant keep being an open book like this.
Youll get hurt easily because of it.
But what can I do? I I love him, Baek, Tao doesnt even know why hes
starting to sob, but he doesnt try to fight it off as well, I know it sounds crazy
because its only been like, what, five, six months of us? Seven months? Its too
short but I love him already. I love him.
Peach, he notices Baekhyun is in the verge of having his tears falling as well,
Im so sorry if your first love has to be like this, but its how it was always meant
to be. Hes hes not good for you.
Everybody is saying that! All of you said that but no one actually cared to
understand how I feel everytime I hear someone saying that the only love Ive
ever known is not good for me so what if its not?? I can love him, Baekhyun,
Im the only one who can love him without any flaw! I have nothing to lose, I
have nothing to protect from his, his life as a Wu; I can love him!

Baekhyun cant even stop himself from gaping over Taos words. He looks
petrified, as if Tao has just told him something terrible. Z-zitao, I
Im sorry, Tao blurts out as he stands up abruptly from the bench, Im sorry I
shouldnt have Im so sorry, I Ill be going,
Tao
Tao? Tao looks up to see the stranger who suddenly called his name, and he
finds Baekhyuns lover, Chanyeol, looking at him worriedly. Are you alright?
H-hyung,
What happened to y
I need to go now. Tao hurries as he walks by.
He hears Chanyeol calls for him again. Dont forget to come with us tomorrow!
My noonas fifth memorial, remember?
Tao answers with a muffled yes as he keeps running.

When he opens the door, a silhouette of a man standing in the middle of his
living room almost got him screaming out of shock. He immediately searches for
the lamps switch button, praying to the Heavens that its Kris waiting for him.
But when the lights are turned on, he sees someone entirely different from his
expectation. Light brown hair, pristine white dress shirt, gray cotton pants, black
dress shoes. Sharp jaw, sharper eyes.
Huang Zitao.
In fact, he never expected the person to ever meet him.
Nice to meet someone handsome. The smirk looks so painfully similar,
probably because this person shares the same dominant gene in their blood. Im
Sean Wu, Kris brother. No need to be scared.
Sehun. Tao breathes out.
Sean Wu looks uncomfortable with how Tao calls him by the name. Its Sean to
you. Anyway, dont mind me. I just stopped by to say hi. He smirks again as he
walks forward, closer and closer to where Tao stands. I just wanted to see what
kind of a charmer that my brother has been head over heels for. Hmm, Sean
leans closer to observe Taos pissed off face, you are indeed handsome,
beautiful even. No wonder why. Brother really has good eyes.
Zitao, I I dont mean to scare you, but I suggest you to be careful of Sehun.

If its okay with you, Id like to be alone here without any guest. Tao says slowly
through gritted teeth.
Brave as well. I like you already. Sean laughs, and somehow it sounds malicious
in his ears. Okay, okay, no need to be mad. Ill just walk myself out.
Please do.
Chuckling, Sean walks casually, passing him by. He turns around to watch the
latter leave, only to hold his breath when Sean Wu looks back at him and smirk
once more.
I never expected, Sean says quietly, that he will find another Yura.
Lets lets just say that you wouldnt want him to know that you exist.
With the last smirk, Sean disappears behind his front door.
Who the hell is this Yura anyway? Taos head is in so much pain that he cant
force it to think more. He goes back to the living room and collapses on the
couch. Pathetically, he starts to sob, which then turns into a loud cry. Even as he
curls himself and sinks further onto the fabric, his cry only gets louder.
Its really troublesome to love someone.
==
When he opens his eyes again, the first thing he sees is Kris face.
Good morning. Kris smiles softly. Its still 2 AM, but since its already another
day, so.
Tao still stares.
Do you know? Its Friday again. He sees Kris grinning as he feels Kris hand
ruffling his locks gently. Should we head to our usual Friday date?
Whoa, Tao croaks out, I must be missing you so much, that I dream of you.
He hears Kris warm chuckle. Is he really dreaming? Adorable. Kris says, and he
can feel Kris pinching his cheek. Its not a dream, Zitao.
Tao is blank for a short while, before he opens his eyes properly. If its the case
then, he mumbles as he gets up to sit and looks down at Kris, whos kneeling on
the carpet, where the hell have you been?!
I Kris eyes wander around the room before they focus on him once more,
well, around.
You didnt even call.

My phone I lost my phone.

Tao frowns. Very weird of you. He mumbles before he takes a hold of Kris arm
and pulls him onto the couch with him. What were you saying earlier?
Lets get out for our Friday date.
You said yourself, its 2 AM in the morning.
Why dont we start our day earlier so we can have much more time until later?
Yifan, Tao sighs, if its about time, we still have like, two weeks, right? And
weve agreed not to end us after that too.
His heart almost fell when Kris offers him a very melancholic smile. Weeks are
just measurement, Tao. Sometimes our chance doesnt match up with our time.
What what are you saying?
Lets go. Kris says as he stands up abruptly. Im taking you to somewhere
nice, dont worry.
Its still dark.
Which is why we better go now. Kris reaches out a hand for Tao to take, and he
gives out the smirk Tao has been secretly missing for. Will you trust me today?
Tao stares blankly at Kris hand. Im kind of scared. Youre acting weird.
Zitao,
Yifan.
Will you just trust me today? Just for today.
Sighing softly, Tao takes the hand and stands up as well. I feel anxious about
this but since you look so eager to go then Ill just agree with whatever y
He doesnt have the chance to finish his words because Kris is already kissing
him with so much pressure. He almost ran out of air to supply to his lungs, but
then he thinks that its quite alright to sacrifice breathing just so he can taste the
desire and the excitement on Kris lips. They release each other with a pop after
a while, both panting out of the lack of oxygen. I, Kris breathes out, I
You?
I Ill wait for you to change your outfit. Now go.

They ride on Kris shiny black gigantic motorcycle. The wind is so cold, they seep
through the fabrics of his clothes. Tao tightens his hold around Kris waist as they
travel on high speed. He cant even see the way theyre riding through because
Kris decided to play Messi right now.
But Tao also had decided to trust him for today anyway.
When they finally stop, Kris laughs and tells Tao that he can open his eyes now.
Tao doesnt know how Kris can tell that he hasnt been brave enough to look
around. Were here, Kris says excitedly.
Tao opens his eyes and finds a medium sized, futuristic looking house, and also
realizes that theyre on some kind of high land, obviously quite far away from the
city. What the he gasps as he looks around, over the billion city lights
scattered beneath them like a sea of Christmas lights, its so beautiful, Yifan!
Kris chuckles. Get inside first? Well catch cold if we stay out for too long.
The house itself is very aesthetic in Taos eyes. Its not even that big, although
not too small either. The futuristically decorated living room is twice or maybe
even thrice the size of his own living room back in the apartment, the kitchen is
perfect with bright lightings and shiny appliances, and there are two doors which
he assume is the doors to the bedrooms in the house. He sighs dreamily.
He can easily imagine a life with Kris in this kind of place.
A pair of hand sneaks around his waist, wrapping gently before warmth seeps all
along his back. I love it here. He whispers as Kris rests his chin on his right
shoulder. I really love it here. Cant we stay here forever?
Kris chuckles, sending warm puffs of breath to collide against the skin of his
neck. Believe me, Ive imagined it for too many times when I came here
yesterday.
Im curious about what youve been doing lately that you couldnt even give me
a word, Tao smirks, but if you dont tell me then it means its not my right to
ask.
Hmm, Kris hums, this time directly on his neck, sending this tingling sensation
throughout his body, let me make it up to you.
Tao half smirks half smile because he cant hide how happy he is at the
moment. And just how would you do it, Mr. Alpha?
Kris doesnt answer. He leans back and turns Taos body around, and without any
hesitation, captures Taos lips in a kiss, a deep, slightly sloppy one that makes
Taos knees wobbly. Not wasting any moment, Tao wraps his arms around Kris
neck and his right leg on Kris waist. Kris urges him to lift his left leg as well, and
when he does, Kris holds him firmly and starts to move, almost blindly, to the
nearest bedroom from where they were.

In the back of his mind, Tao can see everything just like watching a clich
romance movie he doesnt want to like yet keep watches anyway. Kris throws
him on the bed and joins him after, both start taking off their clothes, and Tao
realizes that its nothing like how they used to do it. They were usually in a
perfect pace; not too slow yet not too fast. But this time, theyre doing it in such
speed, probably due to the fact that they need to get used to not having enough
time with each other. Kris right hand is on his hair, while the left hand is twined
together with his own hand. Their clothes must be scattered messily on the floor
around the bed. The kiss is nothing near innocent, their bare, flushed warm
bodies keep on colliding against each other because they want more, more,
more of each others taste.
Tao, Kris calls his name in a bare whisper, and its a very familiar sound, I love
you.
He gasps, out of the familiar sugar rush, out of euphoria.
I love you so, so damn much. Kris whispers again.
Tao slowly wraps his unoccupied hand around Kris neck for a life support,
because hes practically drowning into a sea full of emotion. I love you too,
Yifan. Tao whispers back.
Let me make love to you.
When their eyes meet, Tao doesnt need words to say thousands of yes to Kris;
his eyes are already doing the job. And when Kris kisses him back and takes a
hold of his thigh, he doesnt hesitate to just let everything be.
But hey, he never hesitated anyway when it comes to Kris.

Lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones

He mustve fell asleep for a short while from the exhaustion. His back is still
slightly sore when he opens his eyes to the yellowish glow of the sun slowly
crawling up to the sky through the window of the bedroom. His eyes are
immediately open because of its beauty; he never really got the chance to watch
the sunrise back in Seoul. The raw beauty really puts him in utter awe.
This is why I insisted to go early. Kris voice sounds hoarse, and content at the
same time.
Youre awake. Tao chuckles. He cant see Kris face since hes back-facing him
but he can tell that Kris is smirking.

And so are you. Kris presses his lips gently on the spot between his neck and
shoulder. Taos heart aches from such gesture; he feels so loved, so adored.
Good morning.
Youve said that back in home.
Well, its a complete good morning, with the sun and all.
Tao laughs as he turns around. He gasps when Kris swiftly swings his arm to
catch him in an embrace. Whoa, Tao stares at him, why are you so handsome
even when you just woke up?
And youre so adorable and noisy even when you just woke up. Kris grins when
Tao pinches his arm. And I wouldve, if I can, traded all I have in exchange to
have you like this, every single morning, for the rest of my life.
The air is still as Tao cups Kris cheek gently with his hand. Yifan, he sighs.
Zitao.
May I ask why did you bring me here? Tao leans closer until the tip of their
noses touch. It cant be just because of our Friday date.
He finds Kris out of explanation again. Kris just stares and stares at him, as if
hes asking him not to torture him with such question.
This, Tao croaks out, this cant be my farewell gift, right?
He doesnt care if Kris is perplexed by his question, or if his eyes are getting
watery out of sudden. Its already his nature, his perception of the world; nothing
good ever lasts long enough, at least until were ready to let it go.
I weve promised, not to end us as long as we can endure it, but, Tao scoots
away with a smile on his lips, an obviously bitter one, I kept thinking, that no
one wants to live a complicated life. Not even me, not even you. You you are
the only thing that makes me expect my tomorrows with excitement, YIifan, but I
think, I think Im the thing that makes you insecure and nervous of your own
tomorrows.
Zitao,
Yifan. Tao still maintain his smile as he wipes away a single tear on his cheek.
Ill understand. Maybe it will be hard for me for a few weeks, but I will
understand eventually. We weve had something beautiful, something magical
there. It was sad, it was beautiful, it was tragic. And it was meant for us to let it
go, let it be. What Im saying is
Tao,
that we might need to let it go sooner than weve expected, dont you think?

Zitao, Kris calls brokenly, enough already.

But I was right, wasnt I? This is my farewell gift. Tao finally sobs openly. You
brought me to such a beautiful place like this, you made love to me, and you let
me wake up next to you. I must admit, its a very beautiful gift indeed.
Kris immediately pulls him into his arms, placing his head on his chest, and
keeps his embrace tight. Tao can feel Kris shoulders shaking; he must be crying
too. Hey, dont be sad, Taos words slightly muffled against Kris skin, we
can we can play pretend, right? Lets pretend that its the first morning of our
life here. Our life, together. Lets pretend.
He never saw or heard Kris cry. He never even imagined a crying Kris because it
seemed like it wont suit him. But now that Kris is sobbing above his head, he
cant help but feel the pain as well.
I love you, Huang Zitao, Kris breathes out between catching his breath, no
matter what you will see, or what you will hear later, just remember that I love
you, I really do. Even if the world comes to you and tell you I dont, just keep in
mind that I do. I love you.
Tao closes his eyes, letting his tears fall more. I love you too, Wu Yifan. He
whispers. Maybe I will resent you for a while later, but I will still love you as well.
Even if someday, someone come and my brain tells me that I might can love the
person instead, I will still love you.
He feels Kris nodding. Promise.
Promise.
==
The house is medium-sized, but the lane is surely spacious. Apparently theyre in
some secluded area, and the entrance street is surrounded by trees at each
sides, circling the entire area, making it looks like theyre living in the woods. The
first thing they do after they get up from the bed and wash their faces is to check
on a couple of bicycles parked side by side near the front door. They ride along
the front yard, the back yard, to the streets, and get back by walking, talking
simple things they never talked about before why do you like navy blue so
much? so you really cant stand cold? have you ever got in trouble because
you dyed your hair? why did you choose Seoul, though?
Its like theyre walking on eggshells, ready to crack them in any second. They
dont talk about their previous conversation on the bed this morning. They dont
talk about their farewell. There is no confirmation about the farewell, but it
seems like each of them already knows the outcome. Maybe its too painful for
them to deal with the fact that theyre not meant to last for long, so they decide
to mask all the pain with doing a lot of things that can make them temporarily
forget.

Tao cooks them brunch. Two plates of ham and cheese French toasts resting on
the dining table, complete with orange juices. Its actually the first home brunch
they ever had together, and it feels surreal for Tao as Kris sits eagerly and grabs
the utensils. He watches as Kris devours his meal with so much passion. Is it
that good? Tao frowns jokingly.
It looks very plain, actually. Unlike the ones I usually eat on my friends caf,
but, Kris adds immediately when Tao raises a knife in his hand, its somehow
more delicious.
Probably the cheese.
No, Kris winks, probably you.
Tao rolls his eyes. Definitely the cheese.
Its very easy to pretend that theyre just a normal couple, enjoying their first
day of honeymoon. Its very easy to pretend that theyre free from any burden,
any consequences, and any responsibility. Its very easy to put up a smile and be
nonchalant of everything instead of facing the truth.
At afternoon, Kris smoothly slips something onto Taos ring finger when theyre
watching Avengers sequel on the flat screen TV. Tao stares at the foreign object
on his finger first, then looks up at Kris, demanding an answer.
To remind you of me, Kris smiles as he lifts his hand and shows the similar
thing on his finger, and to remind me of you.
Tao stares again at his hand. A plain, silver band wraps around his ring finger. To
remind us of each other. To remind us of what we had and what we couldve
been.
To remind you, Kris pauses shortly to glance at Taos ring, that you will always
have all of my heart.
That sends a pang on his heart. Tao takes Kris hand, where the ring rests
perfectly. To remind you, Tao replies, that I wont be waiting, but I will always
be ready to have you again if God ever allow me to.
Tao finds an iPod doc in the bedroom. He brings it outside and places it at the
dining table. He tells Kris to move all the furniture aside to make a space for
them in the middle of the room and plays a cheap clubbing song Baekhyun once
sneaked into his phone. Kris gives him a judging look, but he laughs it off and
pulls Kris to move his body. They end up dancing messily around the room,
dragging each other aimlessly, laughing all the while.
Theyre in a trance, stuck in a limbo, smiling like they ever stood a chance.
Kris eventually pulls Tao into a kiss when the song ends, and somehow they
make it to the bedroom, and its like last night all over again. Tao falls back onto
the bed, clothes are being thrown away again, Kris pauses for a while to stare

and stare, Tao tugs gently on his hair to let him know that they shouldnt waste
any second, and Kris proceeds. Somewhere along the rhythmic pressure below
his waist and Kris chant of his name, Tao realizes that they are a bittersweet,
tragic story. A tale of two souls wanting more than what they are fated for.
They were built to fall apart.
At 4 PM, Kris excuses himself to go somewhere out of the area. I wont be long.
Kris tells him, and a wet kiss on the temple of his head follows suit. Just need to
take care of something.
Cant I come with you? Tao asks with a pout.
Adorable. Kris pinches his cheek. Ill come back with dinner.
At dinner or with dinner?
With dinner. Ill be back before the sun set.
Tao gets up as well and put some clothes, following Kris out of the bedroom. He
watches from the window as Kris walks down the stairs at the porch and pulls his
bicycle with him. However, he pauses at the gate, and Tao watches as Kris picks
up a stalk of the white flower from the tiny garden. Kris slides it into the pocket
of his jacket and rides his bicycle away.
Sighing, Tao walks back to the living room. Hes very much alone. Theres this
buzzing noise in his ears from the heavy silence. Is it going to be like this when
the day comes where Kris wont be able to come back to him again?
==
Kris does come back before sunset.
But instead of bringing dinner, he brings two no, three guys with him.
Which then turns out to be no other than
Get your things together, Zitao. Were leaving now. Baekhyun barges into the
house. Behind him is Chanyeol, with a scarier expression on his face. Behind
Chanyeol is Changmin, his supposedly future cousin-in-law, who wears this
troubled look on his face which is similar with Kris.
Wait, what, how are you guys here?! Tao asks in horror, glancing at Kris,
begging for some help.
How dare you, Baekhyun hisses as he turns around to face Kris, to lock him up
here??
Baekhyun, what are you d

Calm down, Byun Baekhyun. Changmin speaks up. Zitao wont listen if youre
like this.
If he wont listen then I will drag him out with my own hands. Baekhyun says
through gritted teeth. Anything, as long as he doesnt breath in the same room
with this bastard.
Baekhyun!! Tao shrieks. What the hell are you doing?!
Im saving you from this person! Baekhyun points at Kris.
What?!! Tao looks at Kris, demanding an explanation, but Kris only looks down
over the tiles. Yifan, what is going on?!
Im not letting you be anywhere near him, Huang Zitao. Grab your things and go
with me now.
Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?! Tao spits back as he goes to Kris
to at least hold his hand for support. However, Kris flinches once their hands
almost touch. Its like his hand is burning hot that Kris cant hold it. Y-yifan?
Me?? Im the one who is sane enough not to let this person wreck you further!
He never did anything bad to me, Baekhyun! What the hell are you
Oh wow, wow, Baekhyun maliciously glares at Kris, look at what youve done
to him, Kris Wu. Very well of you.
Tao decides to stand in front of Kris, facing Baekhyun. What has he done to you
that you are being like this?!
Baekhyun stares at both Tao and Kris simultaneously in disbelief before he huffs.
Great. Now Im the bad guy. Im the villain. Arent I, Kris Wu?
Yifan, Tao turns around, what is going on?!
Tell him, Kris Wu! suddenly Chanyeol speaks. Tell him how you let your father
scared my sister away, tell him how you refused to see her that she ran away
and got played by your brother, how he chased her around to her death!!
Tao goes numb. It cant be.
I never expected that he will find another Yura.
Yura. Chanyeols sister, Yura noona. Park Yura.
Of course.
Y-yifan, Tao whispers, is that is that true?

Tell him how much of a coward you were, Chanyeol says in a hiss, tell him that
it can happen to him as well, even worse!
Yifan, Tao places his hand on Kris shoulder, Yifan, please say something.
But Kris cant even look up to meet his eyes.
And while youre on it, Baekhyun adds, tell him about your conversation with
Aunt Liyin five days ago!
Byun Baekhyun. Changmin warns.
What?? Baekhyun barks back at Changmin. This is the truth he has to know!
This is the most important one! Kris Wu, tell him!
Y-you met my mom?? Tao shakes Kris body gently. Yifan, answer me!
Or should I tell him for you? Its fine, Ive heard enough back then. Baekhyun
says, and Tao hears Changmin telling Baekhyun repeatedly not to do it but
Baekhyun speaks again nonetheless. Its about your fathers death, Tao.
Tao gasps.
Your father died, Baekhyun says slowly, because of the sickening affair in his
filthy family!
Tao turns around to face Baekhyun again. What??
His step-mother, who was barely someone back then because she was a
mistress, sent someone to chase his mother, the late Mrs. Wu, Baekhyun walks
forward, who knew it beforehand, and asked for help from her private chauffeur,
Huang Guan.
His heart stops for a while at the mention of his fathers name.
Your father died in his try to save his mother, Zitao.
Byun Baekhyun!
His family killed your father!!
Byun Baekhyun, thats enough! Changmin steps into the scene. Its not your
right to tell him that!
Then who the hell will take the glory to do so?? That bastard over there? Cant
you see him?? He cant even look at Tao now!!
Fan, say something!
Tao goes even number. The ground is spinning beneath him. He cant even find
the center of his mind anymore. He seeks for Kris, for a help, for some

enlightenment because no, it cant be too tragic like this. Y-yifan, he whispers,
brokenly, as he holds onto Kris shoulder, as if hes depending all his life on it, is
t-that true? Its Baekhyun is lying, right? It cant be that dramatic, right? I
Yifan, Yifan?
Kris finally looks at him, with bloodshot eyes wet with fresh tears falling down. He
doesnt say anything. Maybe its because he cant find anything to say, be it
right or wrong.
Yifan? Tao calls again. Lie to me then. Tell me it wasnt correct. Tell me
Baekhyuns making up things. I will believe you. I will believe you.
Youre done with him, Tao, now lets
Yifan!! Tao screams, and Kris looks away again, wincing. Lie to me now!!!
Somewhere between his begs to Kris and Baekhyuns effort in pulling him away,
he loses his balance and falls onto the floor. And just right before everything
turns black, he sees Baekhyuns worried face and Chanyeols alarmed one.
Changmin is behind Baekhyun.
But theres no Kris in sight.

And I will try

to fix you

Yes, Im very sorry, Minseok. Okay. Hmm, I dont think you can today, its
already nearing the end of the visiting hour. You can come with me tomorrow.
Tao opens his eyes slowly,
Yeah, Aunt Liyin is in Seoul again. She she came before this to take care of
some Minseok, Ill call you later. Tao Tao is awake!
Above him is pristine white ceiling. The scent of medicines creep up into his
nose. He starts to move his fingers and toes slowly. Theyre still working. Hes
alright.
yes, hes awake! Yes, okay, Ill wait here. Baekhyun must be calling a doctor.
Tao, suddenly Baekhyuns face comes in sight, Tao, oh God, finally youre
awake! It has been three days and I was so scared how could you do that to
me?! Well it doesnt matter, youre awake now! You can hear me well, right?
He nods slowly at Baekhyun. It feels empty in his chest, its like hes just a hollow
shell.
Tao? You can hear me, right?

Tao wants to tell him that hes alright, but somehow, he cant even make a
sound.
==
Its the trauma that causes the muteness. But dont worry too much, its
temporary. Once he gets better mentally, he will be able to talk again.
His mothers face looks noticeably older in real life.
Tao stares up at her, who is sitting next to the hospital bed, writing something on
her note book. It has been quite long since the last time he can see her up close
like this. The wrinkle lines are clear at each corner of her eyes. A few of grayish
lines colored her black hair.
He wonders, just how much of obstacles and dead-ends she had went through
her life.
She turns to look at him and smiles warmly. A few seconds pass and she says
softly, I think I owe you a story.
Tao wants to shake his head, because he knows what kind of story his mother
has for her and he doesnt want to hear the complete version of it.
Your father, she starts, he started working as the chauffeur for the late Mrs.
Wu when you were barely one year old. Mrs. Wu was a very noble lady. She was
kind-hearted, graceful, a perfect wife for the young Mr. Wu who just has just
earned his position as the Chairman back then. The thing is, Peach, once youre
involved in that family, you will start knowing what kind of dark secrets theyre
hiding. And once they know you know, she pauses shortly, it will be a doom for
you.
He holds his breath.
According to what your father head from the people in the Wu residence, back
before he was married, Mr. Wu was actually going to be engaged with a lady
from an equally wealthy family, who also had been in some kind of obsession
with Mr. Wu since long before. Yet Mr. Wu chose to rebel against his mother and
married the woman of his own choice instead, which was none other than Mrs.
Wu herself. And they did everything, everything to break the marriage, even
after four years of it, even when their only son was already three years old.
Yifan.
The rich lady succeeded. She got him in an immoral affair one night, somehow,
and as they expected, she conceived Mr. Wus child as well. She got a lot of help
from the mother, so it was easy for her to eventually put herself in the shadows
behind the family. I still remember, how your father told me almost every night
about the misery and hardships the late Mr. Wu had to endure.

She thought it would end after the child was born, but actually, it was the start.
His mother sighs heavily. The old Mr. Wu really loved his first grandson. He
showered him with affection and the best toys a kid could ever have. It made the
rich lady jealous, because to think of it, her son is his grandson as well, yet he
never got the same treatment. The final blow was when it was announced that
the first grandson will be the official heir of Wu Enterprise. She couldnt accept it.
So she made a plan, to execute Mrs. Wu.
Tao looks up at his mother again with wide eyes.
She nods. Sometimes people are cruel, Peach. But many times, its not the
person who is cruel, but the life theyre in that made them cruel. She smiles
bitterly. The rich lady planned for a set-up car crash to threaten Mrs. Wu to
change the will at least to make her son got a taste of the privilege too. And
Mrs. Wu got the news. She asked help from your father to take her out of the
town, to our house. Your father hesitated at first, but I told him to help her
because she had done so many things for us do you know she was the first
person aside of me and your father to see you on your first day in this world? She
was always there whenever we needed help. So it was natural that I wanted to
help her as well.
But on the day where she was supposed to come to our house, they were
involved in a car crash. His mother looks away, out of the window. None of
them couldve made it. That was what they said. She chuckles, but it sounds
broken. As the compensation, they took us to their house and offered me a job
there. I thought that, why not? It was the last place my husband had dedicated
himself at anyway.
Things were actually good for a few weeks. The people there were nice, the
payment was good, and the children were still children, so they always played
with you. She then turns around to look at him. Especially the youngest child,
who moved in there with his mother, the rich lady, a few days after Mrs. Wus
death. His mother was so easy to be despised, but her son was so angelic. I still
remember his name, it was something like Sehun.
Yeah, angelic my ass.
He was the one who was very attached to you. Everyone knew how he liked you
so much.
He doesnt really like me that much now, I guess.
But then one day, I got to hear from another chauffeur who was close to your
father, about the truth behind the crash. He can tell that his mother is having a
hard time telling the story. Apparently, on their way to our house, Mrs. Wu and
your father were caught by the rich ladys people, and they chased them all
along the streets. The car crash was inevitable. I still remember how they said it
to me. This family is dangerous. They killed your husband.
This time, its Tao who looks away from his mother.

So I ran away with you, my little Peach, who cried a lot because you had to
leave Sehun. I ran away and looked for a better life. Anywhere, anything, just not
that house, not that family. She laughs brokenly. But I guess life has its own
plans.
He doesnt realize his tears are starting to fall on his cheeks.
After this, you would have to come with me, back to Qingdao, Zitao. His mother
says. Ive told the first grandson about the whole story, and apparently the
family doesnt like it that he knows. Theyre coming after me, after us. You have
to leave with me after you got better.
Tao turns around to look at his mother with horrified look.
I know what you want to say but cant you see the real thing now? Theyre
dangerous, Zitao. Theyre not good for us
Hes not good for you.
and we dont know what they can do to us. If they can do such cruel thing to
their own family, they surely can do worse thing to us.
Tao finally breaks into sob. He doesnt even know why hes crying. Hes supposed
to be hating Kris and his family right now. Hes supposed to be resenting Kris. But
somehow the idea of not seeing Kris forever seems so cruel to him. No, we cant
just end like this, its too tragic, too tragic.
At least, at least after his wedding. His mother suddenly speaks, and it makes
him stop for a while. I know why youre like this, Peach. If its because of him,
then you can stay at least until his wedding day. To let him go. And after that,
were going to leave this city forever. No coming back again.
He ends up crying again, this time in his mothers arms. She keeps whispering
my poor baby as she rocks him back and forth. Maybe shes regretting all the
decisions she had made when she let him travel to Seoul to pursue his love for
orchestra. Maybe shes regretting the moment she had told her late husband to
help someone who brought misery to them in the end. Or maybe, just maybe,
shes sorry that he has to be in such fate.
But then, whos to blame?
==
Hes discharged from the hospital three days after he woke up. A week before
Kris wedding.
When he observes the whole world around him, he finds it foreign. Somehow the
sky is still blue yet it doesnt feel the same. The wind is noticeably colder
because its already the first month of winter yet it feels a whole lot colder to
him. The streets are still the same, the places are still the same yet somehow his

memories are messed up that they are making them look foreign to him. As if he
was never happy in this place, in this city.
His mother goes back to Qingdao the next day. She asked help from Baekhyun
and Chanyeol to accompany her only son until the day he leaves too. Baekhyun
is more than just glad to do so, while Chanyeol looks like he has something to
say to him all the time. Tao feels itchy because of it. He wants to ask whats
wrong, but at the same time he thinks that he has enough already. He cant bear
to hear any story. Hes not sure he can survive another one.
Two nights straight, he finds himself sitting alone at his couch when its 10 PM.
As if hes waiting for something to happen, or for someone to come. He didnt
even plan it; his body just moves on its own. Not knowing what to do, he lays
down on the couch, resting his head on the armrest. His eyes focuses on the
cream colored fabric next to him, and then he spots a weird brownish stain on it.
He rubs his index finger on it and smells. No scent.
Why are you sleeping here? Baekhyun comes, towering over him. Hmm? What
is that? Coffee stain? You drink coffee?
Tao blinks blankly at Baekhyun before he sighs. Right, coffee stain.
Yuck, Baekhyun observes the stain as well, this will be hard to clean.
Just like how it will be hard to let him go, huh?
The next morning, he wakes up on his bed with a hollowed out feeling. Its like
time has stopped for him ever since he had lost his interest in it. Whats the use
of time when you dont need the measurement because you dont have to wait
for someone anymore? Because he doesnt know what to do, he decides to stay
longer on the bed, as he lifts his left hand and spreads out the fingers. His eyes
land on the silver band wrapped around his ring finger.
To remind you of me.
To remind you that you will always have all of my heart.
He suddenly laughs. Humans are so imperfect, thus the things they make are
imperfect as well. Kris had given the ring to him so it can remind him of their
memories. He didnt say which memories; sad ones or happy ones. Because all
the memories are crashing down onto his head now.
He laughs, and laughs, while his hand wipes away the stubborn tears falling from
his eyes.
==
He wastes his time on the usual bench at the side of Han river. The city looks
colder than before. It scares him a little. The city looks so cold, but the people
who pass him by look so warm and happy. Is he the only one who really notices
the cold? Or is he the problem instead?

From the corner of his eyes, he notices someone tall walking towards him. Navy
blue winter coat. His heart stops for a while.
No way.
Zitao? Is that you?
Tao dares to look up, finding Changmin standing at the other corner of the bench,
face almost hidden under his creamy white scarf. Of course, Tao wants to laugh
and cry at the same time. Hes been getting crazy lately.
May I sit with you? Changmin asks.
Tao nods. Its a free world anyway.
Oh? You finally can speak? Changmin blurts out. I mean, Ive heard you were
temporarily mute.
I wish its permanent, though. Tao mumbles.
Changmin doesnt say anything. They drown in silence for a quite long while. Tao
doesnt know what to say and he wants to run from Changmin because the latter
reminds him so much from someone hes supposed to forget. The thing about
Yura was actually a plain accident. Changmin suddenly says.
Tao wants to scream. I dont want to hear anything else!!
It was inevitable for Chanyeol to see it as Kris fault, but the truth is, it was an
accident. One that caused an impact in the family, yet also one that happens in
this city almost everyday. Chanyeol understands it, but of course, everyone
needs someone to blame when the pain is too much to bear. Changmin sighs,
creating white puffs from his mouth. Before you, Yura was the one who made
Kris see that he can have a life where he decides what he wants for himself.
Maybe he didnt love her as much as he loves you but
God please.
he still thinks of her as a very important person in his life. Every year, on the
memorial of her death, he will bring a stalk of any kind of flower, as long as its
white, just like Yuras favorite color, and visit her grave. He was unlucky this
year, though, when he got caught by the brother.
What happened to her?
Changmin sighs again. She just got involved with the wrong person, thats all.
He says. Kris liked her a lot. She felt the same way. Both hit it off pretty good,
and of course Mr. Wu saw it as a threat because no, his son has to be on his
command all the time. He doesnt want some random people to influence him.
But the thing is, the father wasnt the problem. It was the half-brother.

Tao looks at him. Sehun.

Err, yeah, Sehun, Sean, whatever. Changmin shrugs. Sean has always been a
jealous little pickle all his life. He will take every chance he can get in order to
make Kris looks bad at least in front of other people, if not in front of his father
and grandfather. He saw Yura as the chance, and he tweaked their problem to be
a little bit dramatic.
How??
Well, Sean kind of said something to Yura, something like Kris is having his
punishment because of you and Yura went to see him. Kris, however, had
decided not to meet her again in order to make his father stop bothering her. So
he refused to see her when she came, and she ran away with a broken heart.
Sean still wanted to play her around, so he kind of followed her when she left the
house. Things were out of control, and Yura was in the wrong place and the
wrong time when two vans collided near her. She was one of the victim from the
crash. Changmin finishes his story with another sigh. We can easily say that
she wouldnt be there if only Sean didnt chased her, or if Kris had met her, a lot
of excuses, actually. But in the end, life happens. It was an accident.
Tao wanders his eyes over the horizon. The sun is slowly setting. But Kris took
the blame all these years.
Kris are always blamed for something he never caused or never meant to cause.
And he took it all willingly.
If Sehun has one person to hate the most, it would always be me. And its
because we have no control of everything that he hates me even more.
He blames himself for every adversity that happened in his life. For his mothers
death, for Sehuns endless wrath for him, for Yuras death, for the hardships
Joohyun has to endure along the engagement, for your fathers death, even for
your sufferings now, Changmin takes a breath, he blames himself for all of
them. And people blame him as well.
Tao looks down over his laps. His heart clenches.
So I beg you, Changmin speaks again, this time in a softer way, not to be one
of those people too. Please dont blame him for something he doesnt have any
control of.
Suddenly, by the words, his memories start to work.
You know what, you can eat here with me at least once a week. You can eat
burgers as much as your stomach can afford. I wont judge because I like
burgers too, I love it even, and Im okay with greasy foods. And you can be easy
because
Tao gasps.

 I wont hate you over things you cant control of.

Right, he had promised to Kris.
Changmin, he speaks up, where will the wedding be held at?

Tears stream down your face

when you lose something you cannot replace

I know youre blaming yourself again for

something you didnt even do. So please
dont do it, and keep your head up.
After this, maybe we wont be able to
ever meet again. So Im writing this for
you to read whenever you miss me.
Just remember that I will always love
you, no matter what the world says
about you, no matter if were apart. I
will always love you.
Please be happy, Yifan.
-

Tao

==
Are you sure? Changmin asks once again. You can always come inside to meet
him. Hes been a coward but I know he really wants to see you
Tao slowly shakes his head. Thank you, he says politely, but I dont want to
make it harder.
Victoria sighs as she envelopes her cousin in a tight embrace. My poor Taoer.
You two should go inside. Tao musters up a smile, although he knows they can
tell its forced. The wedding will start in any minute. And you cant be late since
youre the best man!
Yeah yeah. Changmin grins at him. Take care, kiddo. he says as he ruffles
Taos locks.
Will you be okay on your own? Victoria asks gently.
Tao nods. Of course I will. Ill just hang around with Baekhyun today.
In ends up to be a lie. Even five minutes after Changmin and Victoria went inside
the building, he stays unmoving on his spot at the pavement. Its like his feet are

chained down to the ground. Another minutes pass by, and he still stands like a
statue.
Its like hes waiting for something to happen. Something like a miracle. But what
kind of miracle? Does he deserve a miracle? Fuck, even miracle cant do shit
now.
Finally after a while, he gathers up some courage to walk away. He searches for
his cigarette pack and takes one out. They look weird already. He cant even turn
on a lighter up because of the weather. Sighing, he tosses it on the ground and
steps on it until the tobacco bursts out. He sighs again. Why is his life so
HUANG ZITAO!!
He shrieks in a rather unmanly way before he turns around to find the culprit
who almost made him faint. However he feels like fainting when he sees Kris,
complete in his white tuxedo, running towards him in a not so glorious way. It
looks like Kris is begging for air yet he doesnt want to waste any second to take
a breath.
What the fuck, Tao cant help but to curse because the moment is just too
bizarre.
Kris finally stops in front of him, panting heavily. H-huang Zitao. he calls
wholeheartedly, yet he doesnt get an answer.
Tao is too mesmerized to answer because
Your hair is black!!
Kris looks at him, probably shocked with the unexpected answer.
Your hair is black! Tao gasps as he points at Kris jet black locks. Black!!
Yeah, Kris says with a chuckle, I finally dont look like an attention seeker
anymore.
What the hell are you doing here?!
As if hes waking up from a trance, Kris takes a wide step forward and gathers
Tao in his arms, suddenly kissing Taos lips fully, breathlessly. Tao wraps his arms
around Kris neck; it just comes automatic.
Kris releases him with a pop, Tao, he says in a whisper, lets run away with
me!
Tao blinks blankly at him. He raises a hand to pinch Kris cheek. Are you nuts?
he asks calmly, wiggling Kris cheek while on it.
I am not! Kris exclaims as he takes Taos hand away from his cheek and holds it
firmly instead. Im being serious. Lets run away!

Yifan, youre not making any sense

I got your note. Kris finally drops the bomb. You said you wrote it so I can read
it whenever I miss you and then I thought that no, I dont want to spend my life
depending my heart on a piece of paper that can be easily torn apart any
second. I want to be with you instead. Ill depend my heart on you instead.
Yifan, life doesnt work that easy. Tao sighs. A lot of people is up there now,
waiting for you to show up. And Irene, shes waiting for you too, cant you think
of what she is feeling right now?
Err, Joohyun was actually the one who helped me breaking out from the
preparation room, so.
Tao wants to facepalm himself. You were the one who told me not to listen to
her, though.
The point is, run away with me! Kris takes both of his hand and holds them
firmly, shaking them in process. I know a place! Trust me, I really know a place
where they cant reach us!
Smiling warmly at Kris, Tao pulls his hand out of Kris hold gently. Its not about
the place, Yifan, he says softly, but its about what we have to do now. And you
have to go back there, while I have to leave this city. This world is just not about
us, remember?
Zitao, Kris takes his hand back again.
Yifan.
cant you just, trust me once more? Just for today.
The last time I trusted you, I ended up knowing things I prefer not to know now
and ended up in hospital.
It wont be like that this time. I swear to you it wont be!
Tao stares up into Kris eyes, diving through the galaxy full of stars, ready to
burst any second. Where did you get all of this courage, Yifan?
Kris smirks. From a piece of paper. he whispers. I love you, Huang Zitao. I love
you to the point where I will do crazy things just to be able to be next to you for a
few hours.
Tao gasps. It was his words to Kris, back when everything was much simpler. You
fucking gooey cheddar.
So my mozzarella doesnt need to worry about anything, okay? Kris grins. We
can just, like, fucking fly out of this place.

And how do you plan on doing it?

Just after he asked that, a loud sound of motorcycle echoes behind him. He turns
around to see Kris shiny black motorcycle parked at the side of the street, with
someone climbing off of it. He gasps.
Sean Wu is walking towards them.
Here. Sean says as he throws a bunch of keys at Kris, who catches it perfectly.
Shes ready to go.
Thanks, brother. Kris says naturally.
He notices a bare second of change on Seans face when the brother word was
said, something like bitterness, something like shame. Then Seans eyes land on
him, and unexpectedly, he bows, a ninety degree one.
Please be safe. is probably Seans way to say billions of apologies to him.
Sean straightens up his back again. Now hurry before fathers minions catch
you guys here. I didnt travel back to home to take her for nothing.
Thanks again, Sehun. Kris says with pure gratitude as he pulls Tao away.
Come on come on!
Wait we dont even have enough helmets!
Just go!!
They settles on the seat of the motorcycle. Kris starts the engine and in no time,
they starts to move away. He wants to ask why is Kris in such speed but then he
gets his answer immediately.
From the right rearview, he can see a bunch of black sedans chasing them from
behind.
Yifan, Tao shouts, just in case the wind is too loud and Kris cant hear behind
the helmet, I think were being chased!!
Of course we are!! Kris shouts back.
He can feel his adrenaline rushing every second. Tao thinks theyre ready, more
than ever. Theyre ready to leave everything behind, to have a new, fresh start
somewhere else. Anywhere, just not this city. Not this place. He doesnt even
know how long this freedom can lasts, but hes willing to give it a try if Kris is
willing too. Tao doesnt know yet where is Kris taking him to, but he thinks that
maybe Kris also doesnt know it yet either. Not the destination, but how theyre
going to run their lives after all of this fiasco.
But even if theyre going to get lost for a while, its fine for Tao. Hell just get lost
with Kris, together.

Tao??
Tao gasps. Yes??
Im going to ask you to take my helmet off from my head!! Can you do it??
What?? Why?? Are you crazy?!?!
Its bothering me!! I cant see clearly!! Kris pauses for a bit. The locks are
opened!! You just need to pull it super quick from my head!! Can you do it?!
Tao bites his lips. Yes, yes!!
On my count, Kris says and Tao immediately places his hands at each sides of
the helmet, one, two, three!!!
Got it!!
Now wear it!! Be careful!!
Tao wears the helmet swiftly since its a little bit too big for him. He locks it
quickly and wraps his arms around Kris waist again. Theyre passing an empty
street, surrounded by tall trees. Theyre obviously on their way out of the city
now.
Tao!! Kris calls again. Say you love me!!
What the fuck?!?!
Just say it!!
I LOVE YOU!! Satisfied?!?!
Again!!
Tao huffs. I love you Wu Yifan!! Now be careful!! Theyre still behind us!!
Kris doesnt answer him this time. Then he feels the tension all along Kris back is
gone, like hes more relaxed now. He thinks theyre coming to a stop because
probably Kris is tired of running, or maybe Kris has another plan for them. But
the vehicle doesnt slow down.
Yifan??
Tao looks up, finding theyre heading straight towards the tall roadblock.
YIFAN?!!
He closes his eyes and waits for the impact.

I promise you
that I will learn from my mistakes

He finds himself screaming.

When he stops, he realizes hes standing in the middle of a street, surrounded by
tall trees. He looks down in front of him and gasps out of pure horror.
Time is on a pause. Nothing is moving. Theres a bunch of pieces from a vehicle,
scattered all around the asphalt. A spot on the roadblock near him is crushed as
well. And not too far from the mess, two bodies are sprawled on the ground, a
few meters from each other. One has helmet on his head, while the other one is
facing down against the ground, a pool of thick, red blood spreading around his
head.
He falls bottom first on the asphalt.
The brake was jammed. Suddenly a soothing voice comes behind him. That
was why he asked you to take the helmet. He knew the both of you were going to
crash. He wanted you to be safe.
He tries to breath normally, but his breathes come staggering.
So, do you remember everything now, Lay asks, Huang Zitao?
What Tao whispers, what have I done?
Youve done nothing. Lay shrugs. The brake was jammed, thats all. No one
caused it. It just happened.
It just happened. Tao repeats, and it sounds so stupid. It just happened.
I think you understand it more than anyone else.
It it cant be like this. Tao stands up on wobbly knees, reaching for Lay. Ssave him, I beg you, please please dont let him die! Let me let me die
instead!
Lay stares at him. Are you sure?
I just Tao pauses as he walks towards Kris body, kneeling down, I cant, I
cant ruin his life, I cant let him end up like this.
You havent give the exchange for your first wish, Lay walks closer to him, are
you sure you want to make another wish? Do you have another precious thing
you can exchange too?

Tao stares up at Lay for a long while. And with a determined look, he says. Take
his memories of me. Tao trembles. Take his memory of us.
Are you sure?
I think, I think Im the problem. Tao looks down. If we never met that day, he
wont be like this. Im Im always the problem.
And what will you give for the second exchange?
Tao thinks for a while, then his eyes lands on the silver band on his ring finger.
This he whispers, you can have this. He says as he takes off the ring and
gives it to Lay.
Lay takes it and stares at it amusedly. Nice. Lay says. Now you have a job to
do then. The memories wont erase themselves after all.
How?
Lay spreads his hand upward, and a tiny vial forms up, with a piece of green
grass in it.
Do you know the wild grass theory?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

He opens his eyes to the sight of Han River.

The place is not too crowded on such afternoon like this. He walks around, a little
bit lost, a little bit hazy. He takes a look at the vial in his hand. The tiny grass in it
is still green.
Ah, right.
He searches blindly for that someone to appear. He looks around, finding the
familiar bench at the side of the river. Someone is sitting on it. Black leather
jacket. A white card on his hand.
He looks to his left. True to his guess, a guy in navy blue jacket is walking slowly
along the side. He gasps. Its him. He cant even stop his tears from forming on
the corner of his eyes. Its him.
But how to stop him?!
He thinks hard for a while, before he finally finds something. He walks quickly to
the guy and immediately stops in front of him, making the guy halts his step
abruptly in shock.

You are Kris Wu, right? he asks with trembling voice.

The guy doesnt say anything, probably too shocked.
Im Huang Zitao, he says with all the energy that is left in him, the son of
Huang Guan, who died in a car crash with your mother twenty three years ago.
The guy looks down for a short while before he looks up again. Is there
anything I can do for you?
N-nothing. He tries so hard to suppress his tears. Just just remember that I
hate you, I hate you so much, he gulps down, and that I dont want to see you
ever again after this!
Kris Wu looks down again, without saying anything. Is it working?? he panics
inside as he turns his head around to check the bench. To his favor, theres no
one on the bench anymore.
That thats all. he steps back. Ill leave now.
Wait, he hears the guys voice as he was about to turn around.
What?? he asks without being bothered to look at the guy.
I the guy mumbles, Im sorry, for everything. I know I know its too late
and
its
useless,
but,
Im
sorry.
He doesnt say anything.
I will never be in front of you again. You have my word.
Then he hears the guy walking away from where he stands.
He doesnt even realize hes already sobbing openly on the pavement.
==
To think again, a voice suddenly comes, I cant grant your wish. You know, the
just let me die instead part.
Tao looks up, finding Lay standing in front of him.
Maybe I can tweak some part of fate a little bit, but I cant just easily change it
like that. Lay smiles sheepishly. I cant grant your wish about dying. Instead of
it, why dont you do something for me? I can grant you a wish for free in
exchange.
Tao wipes the remnants of his tears as he stands up. What is it?

You know that everything happens in order, right? Lay starts. In your case, it
all started from where you woke up in front of my door. And actually you from
that point of time was already there before I leave to meet you again. Lets just
call him your Double.
Really?
Yes. But the thing is, Im afraid that your Double will fail on wishing anything
because he doesnt have the ring.
The ring?
Your ring, the one you gave me earlier.
How do you know he doesnt have the ring?
Lay smiles at him. Zitao, do you think this is your first time fixing this thing?

Tao stares at his own duplicate, sprawled on the porch of Lays house.
If you give him the ring, Lay says as he hands the silver band over to Tao, it
will trigger him to ask to regain his memory. I dont know why. The ring always
does the work.
Staring at the ring, Tao smiles bitterly.
If he asks it, then he will be able to save Kris. Lay speaks again. Its like a
loop. A system.
So once he fixed the mess, he would have to give the ring again to, like, my
Triple?
Yes, in order to keep the system.
Tao nods slowly. He walks towards his Double and kneels down, placing the ring
on the opened hand. He stares at his other self in front of him, suddenly feeling
sad. Youve been through a lot, Tao smiles as he caresses the jet black locks.
Im sorry. He whispers.
Okay then, Lay smiles. I guess its time for you to have your free wish.
Tao chuckles. I dont even know what to wish for.
Why dont you check your pocket?
Tao frowns, confused, as he searches blindly in his pockets. True to Lays words,
he finds a piece of paper stashed messily inside.

Thats a new addition to the loop. Lay explains. It was written by the very first
Zitao, who experienced it before you.
Whoa, Tao opens the note, a bit thrilled. He reads it carefully, and after every
word, the excitement disappears, only replaced by some gnawing feeling he
cant explain. Tears start to form again on his eyes. When he finishes the note, he
looks up at Lay.
I have my wish.
==
Hi Tao,
By the time youre reading this, you probably
have just finished your mission to make Yifan
forget you. Youve been through a lot. Im
sorry.
Ive lived after it, and I must confess, I almost
killed myself because of the impact. Sure, in
the new version of our history, I never met
him, we never fell in love with each other,
and he married Irene. He kept his word, he
never appeared in front of me anymore.
But the thing is, I remember.
I remember his smile, I remember his words
of his love for me, I remember his touch, I
remember the way he looks at me with so
much affection, I remember him next to me
when I woke up in the morning, I remember
falling asleep next to him at night. And I
remember the seconds before we crashed
and the moment where I shouldve lost him
forever.
You wont be able to live with memories
that were supposed to never happened.
So please ask Lay to erase your memory
of the period of time with Yifan in it. That
way, you wont remember Yifan, you
wont remember what happened during
that time.
I know its hard to let go, and I know you
think you can survive even if youre the
only one who remembers.
But trust me on this.
I suffered too much because of it.
So please do yourself a favor, okay?
From your earlier self.

And I will try

to fix you

END

Thank you for whoever prompted 91. I know its not really what you wanted but
hey, your prompt gave me courage to finish the idea I have been dwelling on for
so long.