Is it possible to observe the wanderings of the mind?

To record how it leaps from one

topic to another like a salmon swimming upstream? Personally, I have often found that I can
begin a thought about chickens only to suddenly find myself thinking about a completely
unrelated topic; I must then attempt to mentally retrace my thoughts until I end up back at the
subject of poultry. Through this process, I have discovered that my mind, during its
wanderings, can seamlessly associate two, three, four, or more, completely unrelated
objects.
I was recently thinking about this piece of writing. I was becoming quite anxious
(surely a lie?!). I struggled with the idea of how, and what, I should write. During this stream
of thought, from out of nowhere, came an image of the Moon. I stopped thinking about the
assignment and began a line of thought based on the possibility that the planets were
exerting some kind of weird influence over me. This was odd because I do not believe in
astrology.
From astrology, I then speculated on several other planets, the last of which was the
Sun; from the Sun to newspapers; from newspapers to crabs. Each separate thought was
briefly examined and then discarded for the next; I was reminded of a squirrel amidst a pile of
nuts; endlessly fossicking and sorting. From squirrels (this idea had quietly slipped into
assimilation with the others), my mind went to the subject of beds.
I presume that the idea of beds and pillows and cushions came about as a result of
how tired I felt; which in itself was a result of simultaneously trying to watch my mind and
write down its twists and turns. At this point my mind had returned to the idea of writing this
very piece as the focus of my thoughts, and I began to feel stressed (another sweet lie).
Was I writing it in an appropriate manner? Was I being too informal?
After concerning myself with tuxedoes and the rising cost of formal wear, I
remembered the stress that I was feeling, and this provoked me to think about myself as a
person. At this point in my thoughts, the introspection became very strange. I began to feel
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that my sense of self was unravelling; I had the distinct impression that I was going down a
very dark road that could lead, quite possibly, to insanity.
I then arrived at a conclusion that the mind and the ego are liars. I do not hate the
mind, or the ego as a result of this conclusion but I have become incredibly suspicious of
both. They lie yet believe themselves to tell the truth; their existence depends on it. For the
remainder of this essay, ego will be stipulated as that which thinks, and is manifested
through thought, and mind will be defined as the arena in which the ego works.

I put forth

the proposition (which is also a sweeping generalisation) that for too long mankind has
accepted as truth everything that the ego and mind has spewed forth.
The ego has a tendency to define itself in terms of I. For instance, when one is
thirsty, this phenomenon usually manifests as thought - I am thirsty. One does not
automatically think, My body is in need of fluids. Ones thirst is defined in terms of self: I
am
This is a normal reaction. As a society we embrace, and encourage the idea of the
ego as being inextricably linked with the body, and that neither can exist as separate
components, but must exist together in a state co-dependence. We have cannot imagine
having an ego without a body, or a body without an ego. By the time we are five or six years
old, the ego is firmly impressed into the physical body, like a frozen dogs egg into clay.
Can anyone honestly say that they have never questioned their sanity; that they have
never viewed their thoughts as twisted or sick, or even foreign and alien? If one were to
answer in the negative, there would still be one major question to be answered; if you are
watching your thoughts, as they float by like clouds, then surely you (as an ego) are not your
thoughts. Yet traditionally, man is defined by what he thinks.
My thoughts, and thoughts in general, have been the main focus of this brief piece,
and I have attempted to write a semi-structured discourse on the meanderings of the mind
(despite the obvious lack of structure in my thought processes). It is not fiction, and whilst I
admit that it is a tad informal, I believe that it raises some interesting points, while also
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employing the correct use of the grammar and coherent sentence structures. The content is
wholly non-fiction or perhaps it is merely as real as I myself claim to be?
Despite its content and structure I am still uncertain that this piece of writing somehow
makes the grade. I am anxious that I have approached it in completely the wrong way; that
I have used I too many times instead of writing from a third person perspective, which is
often the preferred style of academics and supposedly intellectual persons. There is a fear of
inappropriate punctuation despite my constant checks and reviews of this work. The list
goes on. I would not call myself neurotic but through the observation of my thoughts I have
come to realise that the mind, or at least my mind, will focus on one topic, then another, and
then another and before I know it, my mind has drifted away from the initial thought and there
is confusion and odd streams of consciousness and bears and stars and who knows what?
In attempting to document how my mind wanders, I have strayed from the topic of my mind.
And yet I have not. The very fact that my mind wanders from topic to topic requires that this
piece also does so, in order to reflect and portray my mind accurately. Perhaps I have
attempted something beyond my capabilities? I like to think that I have challenged myself,
and attempted something out of the ordinary. What a splendid fellow I am.