THE IMPACT OF ROMANTIC BREAKUPS ON INDIVIDUALS' LIVES

Romantic breakups are often colloquially discussed in a way that

suggests that they have little to no bearing on personal well-being.
Breakups are commonly viewed as simply a part of growing up, and
individuals experiencing romantic breakups are sometimes told by
individuals that "There are other fish in the sea" or that he or she
will "Get over it".
For the past several decades, extensive research has been
conducted on the personal impact of divorce but, prior to the 2000s,
research on non- marital romantic breakups was sparse.
Many individuals are experiencing romantic breakups from
relationships that are - save for the paperwork - indistinguishable
from marriage.
First I outline the negative outcomes associated with breakups.
Finally, I discuss the positive outcomes that can arise from a
breakup, including personal development and the redefinition of the
relationship into a close friendship.
I determine which factors have the potential to make a breakup
more challenging, what sorts of mechanisms individuals employ to
cope with grief following a romantic breakup, and which factors are
associated with individual resilience in handling a stressor like a
breakup.
Positive Outcomes Some researchers have argued that romantic
breakups can lead to positive outcomes, such as growth and
personal development or the redefinition of a relationship into a
close friendship.
Through a study of 92 undergraduate students, Tashiro and Frazier
determine how personality, gender, initiator status and reasons the
relationship ended affect personal growth following a romantic
relationship breakup.
In order to measure growth, Tashiro and Frazier first asked
participants to qualitatively describe any positive changes they may
have experienced as a result of their breakup that could help them
in future relationships.
If a participant answered "I will choose a better partner," the answer
was coded as Other, because improved relationships results from a
better fit from the other person rather than changing one's own
traits.

On average, participants reported five positive changes that may

assist them with future relationships.
In terms of reasons why the relationship ended, individuals who
reported that the relationship ended due to environmental causes
were the most likely to experience growth.
Another potential positive breakup outcome is the redefinition of the
romantic relationship into a platonic friendship.
Villella examines the relationship between several variables: gender,
who initiated the breakup and current relationship status to see if
these affect satisfaction, adjustment, communication with a former
partner following the breakup, and friendship with a former partner.
Current involvement in a romantic relationship led to greater
adjustment, and was also a barrier to friendship.
Through a sample of participants who were involved in same-sex
and opposite sex relationships, they examine the degrees to which
ex-partners experience interpersonal contact, emotional and sexual
intimacy, and satisfaction in their post-dissolutional relationships.
In the heterosexual sample, post- dissolutional relationships
contained moderate amounts of satisfaction, moderate amounts of
emotional intimacy and interpersonal contact, and low amounts of
sexual intimacy.
23 Conversely, same-sex post-dissolutional relationships contained
high amounts of satisfaction, moderate amounts of emotional
intimacy and interpersonal contact, and low amounts of sexual
intimacy.
The more time that passed since the breakup and the more that the
participant liked his or her ex-partner predicted satisfaction in postdissolutional relationships between same-sex partners.
The longer the relationship and the higher the extent to which the
participant hoped to renew the relationship were associated with
less satisfaction in a post-dissolutional relationship.
For heterosexual ex-partners, contrary to what was found in samesex ex-partners, increased time since the breakup was associated
with decreased satisfaction with the post-dissolutional relationship.
Personal variables, such as the amount of liking for one's ex-partner,
uniqueness of the relationship and hope for romantic renewal were
the strongest predictors as to whether or not a post-dissolutional
relationship would remain.

Summary of Positive Outcomes The positive outcomes that have

been associated with romantic breakups include personal growth
and the redefinition of the relationship into a friendship.
Conclusion
Conclusion While commonly held breakup views suggest that
romantic breakups are insignificant, academic literature on the topic
shows that romantic breakups can be traumatic life events for some
individuals, and that they can lead to a number of negative
outcomes.
Few studies suggest that breakups provide opportunities for
personal growth and development, and although friendship is a
potential positive breakup outcome, friendships following a breakup
can be unsatisfying if one's motivation for the friendship is to get
back together with the person and these feelings are
unreciprocated.
Factors related to negative breakup outcomes and poorer
adjustment and recovery include greater feelings of liking, anger,
rejection or betrayal for the ex-partner; greater self-expansion
during the relationship; insecure attachment; and 29 high rejection
sensitivity.
The following factors were related to higher levels of adjustment,
growth and recovery: the personality trait of Agreeableness, general
secure attachment and secure peer attachment, increased social
support, being in a new relationship, and increased time since the
breakup.
Women exhibited more signs of depression and distress in all of the
studies, save for one which found that women had a harder time
adjusting at the time of the breakup but, over time, men had a more
difficult time adjusting.
Villella found that breakup initiators were more satisfied in their
post-breakup relationships, and Helgeson found that women, but not
men, adjust better if they initiate.
The literature on the effects of romantic breakups is limited in that it
tends to use convenient samples that are not representative of most
young adults.