Experiences and Obstacles During

Meditation
by Swami Sivananda
WHAT HAPPENS DURING MEDITATION
In meditation, new grooves are formed in the brain and the mind moves upwards in
the new spiritual grooves. When the mind becomes steady in meditation, the
eyeballs also become steady. A Yogi whose mind is calm will have a steady eye.
There will be no winking at all. The eyes will be lustrous, red or pure white. When
you enter into very deep, silent meditation, the breath will not come out of the
nostrils. There may be occasional slow movement of the lungs and the abdomen.
During normal exhalation the air comes out 16 digits. When the mind gets
concentrated, it will become less and less. It will come to 15 then 14, 13, 12, 10, 8
and so on. From the nature of the breathing, you can infer the degree of
concentration
of
an
aspirant.
Watch
the breath
very
carefully.
Man tries to grasp the abstract through forms. After the mind has been purified, an
abstract image is formed in the purified mind by Sravana (listening to spiritual
discourses and holy scriptures) and Brahma-Chintana. This abstract image melts
later on into deep Nididhyasana. What is left behind is Chinmatra or Kevala Asti
(pure Existence alone).
In Nididhyasana or profound and continued meditation, thinking ceases. There is
only one idea of "Aham Brahmasmi." When this idea also is given up, Nirvikalpa
Samadhi or Sahaja Advaita-Nishtha ensues. Just as salt melts in water, the Sattvic
mind melts in silence in Brahman-its Adhishthana (substratum).
EXPERIENCES IN MEDITATION
Various persons get various spiritual experiences. There cannot be a common
experience for all. It depends upon the temperament, mode of Sadhana, place of
concentration and various other factors. Some hear melodious sounds in the ears.
Some see lights. Some get Ananda (spiritual bliss). Some get both Prakasa and
Ananda. During meditation, you may experience that you are rising from your seat.
Some experience that they fly in the air.
LIGHTS
The Divine light comes not through open doors, but only through narrow slits. The
aspirant sees the Divine Ray as a sunbeam passing through a chick into a dark
room. It is like a 'flash of lightning.' This sudden illumination chokes all sounds of
words. The aspirant is spell-bound in ecstasy and awe. He trembles with love and
awe, just as Arjuna did when he had the Virat-Visvarupa-Darsana of Lord Krishna.
So bright and glorious is the Light environing the Divine that the initiate is dazzled
and bewildered.

During meditation, the colour of lights that you see varies according to the Tattva
that flows through the nostrils. If there is Agni-Tattva, you will see red-coloured
lights. If Akasa-Tattva flows, you will have blue-coloured lights. If Apas-Tattva
(water) prevails, you will see white-coloured lights. If there is Prithvi-Tattva, you
will have yellow lights. If there is Vayu-Tattva, you will see black colour. You can
change the Tattva by various ways. But the best way is by thought. "As you think,
so you also become." When the Agni-Tattva flows, think intently of Apas-Tattva.
Apas-Tattva will begin to flow soon.
RAPTURE
During meditation, you get rapture or ecstasy. It is of five kinds viz., the lesser
thrill, momentary rapture, flooding rapture, transporting rapture and all-pervading
rapture. The lesser thrill is only able to raise the hairs of the body (like the goose
skin). The momentary rapture is like the productions of lightning, moment by
moment. Like waves breaking on the seashore, the flooding rapture descends
rapidly on the body and breaks. Transporting rapture is strong and lifts the body up
to the extent of launching it into the air. When the all-pervading rapture arises,
the whole body is completely surcharged, blown like a full-bladder.
CROSSING THE BODY-CONSCIOUSNESS
Aspirants are eager to get spiritual experiences soon. As soon as they get them,
they are afraid. They are awfully alarmed when they go above the bodyconsciousness. They entertain a passing wonder whether they will come back again
or not. Why should they be afraid at all? It does not matter much whether they
return to body-consciousness or not. All our attempts are mainly directed towards
getting over this body-consciousness. We are used to certain limitations. When
these limitations suddenly drop away, we feel that there is no definite base left to
stand upon. That is the reason why we are afraid when we go above the bodyconsciousness. That is a novel experience. Courage is needed. Bravery is an
indispensable requisite. Sruti says, "Nayam-atma balahinena labhyah-This Atman
can hardly be attained by weak (timid) persons." All sorts of forces have to be
encountered on the way. A dacoit or an anarchist can easily realise God, because
he is fearless. A push in the right direction is only necessary for him. How Jagai and
Madhai, rogues of the first water, became very good saints! They pelted stones at
Nityananda, the disciple of Lord Gouranga. Nityananda won them by pure divine
love. Dacoit Ratnakara became Sage Valmiki.
VISIONS OF SPIRITS
Sometimes, bad spirits will trouble you. They may have ugly, fierce faces with long
teeth. Drive them with your strong will. Give the word of command: "Get out."
They will go away. They are vampires. They are elementals. They will not do any
harm to the Sadhakas. Your courage will be tested here. If you are timid, you
cannot march further. Draw power and courage from the Atman within, the
inexhaustible Source (Avyaya). You will come across very good spirits also. They
will help you a lot in your onward march.

There is a kind of vision one occasionally gets during meditation. You may behold a
dazzling light with abrupt motion. You may behold a head of marvellous form, of
the colour of a flame, red as fire and very awful to look at. It has three wings of
marvellous length and breadth, white as a dazzling cloud. At times they would
beat terribly and again would be still. The head never utters a word, but remains
altogether still. Now and again, there is beating with its extended wings.
During meditation, some of the visions that you see are your own materialised
thoughts, while some others are real, objective visions.
BREAK VEIL AFTER VEIL
If you get experiences of the glimpses of Self during intense meditation, if you see
a blazing light during meditation and if you get spiritual visions of angels,
archangels, Rishis, Munis, Devatas and any other extraordinary spiritual
experiences, do not fall back in terror. Do not mistake them for phantoms. Do not
give up the Sadhana. Plod on. Persevere diligently. Break veil after veil.
If there is any error in Sadhana (meditation), at once consult the senior Sannyasins
or realised souls and remove the mistake. If your general health is sound, if you
are cheerful, happy and strong, physically and mentally, if the mind is peaceful
and unruffled, if you get Ananda in meditation and if your will is growing strong,
pure and irresistible, think that you are improving in meditation and everything is
going all right.
March on boldly. Do not look back. Cross the intense void and darkness. Pierce the
layer of Moha. Melt the subtle Ahankara now. Svarupa will shine by itself. You will
experience the Turiya (Arudha state).
OBSTACLES TO MEDITATION
Obstacles to meditation are really from within. Environments are from within; you
create your own environments. Try to be happy in whatever situation you are
placed. Do not complain. Bear sufferings. You can conquer Nature. Maya is Tuchha
(nothing) or Alpa (small or non-entity) for a Brahma-Jnani.
The obstacles to meditation are only from within. Sleepiness, passions, confused
state of the mind, Manorajya (building castles in the air) are the chief obstacles
that stand in the way of fixing the mind on God or Brahman. The five hindrances to
meditation, viz., sense-desire, ill-will, sloth-torpor, flurry-worry and perplexity
should be removed. For, when these are not removed, meditation cannot arise.
The mind that lusts after many things through sense-desire is not concentrated on
one object; or being overcome by sense-desire, it does not enter upon the progress
of meditation in order to put away the sensuous element. The mind that is
harassed by ill-will concerning an object does not proceed at once. The mind that
is overcome by sloth and torpor is unwieldy. Obsessed by worry and flurry, it does
not repose, but flirts about. Struck by perplexity, it does not go on the path that
leads to the attainment of meditation and Samadhi. Obstacles to meditation are
thus really from within. They are not from without. Train the mind properly.

Laya (sleep), Vikshepa (tossing of mind from one object to another), Kashaya
(memory of sensual pleasures) and hidden Vasanas and Rasasvada (the happiness
derived from Savikalpa Samadhi) are four stumbling blocks in meditation.
TANDRI AND MANORAJYA
When the mind has been withdrawn from objects through Vairagya and Uparati, do
not allow it to go into sleep or Manorajya (fancies and wild imagination). When you
constantly contemplate on the meaning of the Mahavakya 'Aham Brahmasmi' or 'Tat
Tvam Asi' through the process of Mahavakyanusandhana, all the Vishayas (seeing,
hearing, touching, tasting and smelling) will stop. But, owing to the force of
Samskaras, Manorajya (building castles in the air) will continue. Mind builds castles
in the air. This is termed Manoratha in Sanskrit. This is a serious obstacle to
meditation. It should be stopped by Vichara. Sometimes, during the course of
meditation, the mind suddenly slips into its old grooves for sleeping. People think
that they are meditating, while they are actually sleeping. A mixture of drowsiness
(Tandri) and Manorajya (building castles in the air, reverie) is mistaken by aspirants
for deep meditation and Samadhi. The mind appears to be established in
concentration and free from Vikshepa (distraction). This is a mistake. Alasya and
Stabdhata (stupefaction arising from fear or wonder, mental restlessness and
mental depression) are other disturbing factors in meditation.
Closely watch the mind. Make it Ekagra (one-pointed) and allow it to rest on the
Svarupa Brahman). Be thoughtful, careful and vigilant. Stand up for ten minutes
and dash cold water on the face and head, if drowsiness comes in. Remove the two
serious obstacles of Tandri and Manorajya by Vichara, Pranayama and light, Sattvic
diet. Tandri and Alasya are removed by Pranayama, Sirshasana, Sarvangasana and
Mayurasana and light, Sattvic diet. Find out the disturbing causes and remove
them. Avoid the company of those whom your mind dislikes. Do not argue. Do not
contradict. Do not try to convince persons who are unreasonable and undeveloped.
Talk little. Observe Mouna. Live alone. In this way, you can avoid all sorts of
excitements. Have constant Satsanga. Study elevating books such as the
Yogavasishtha, the Upanishads, etc. Have Brahma-Bhavana. Repeat OM with
meaning and feeling. All depressing thoughts will melt away.
If you are alert and if by protracted efforts and incessant, vigilant SvarupaChintana (meditation on Brahman), you get over the obstacles of sleep, Manorajya,
etc., the steady Brahmakara Vritti and Brahma-Jnana will dawn in no time. Ajnana
will vanish. You will be established in Sahaja Paramananda state. All Sanchita
(accumulated) Karmas will be burnt up in the fire of wisdom.
DREAMS IN MEDITATION
Various sorts of fantastic dreams trouble some aspirants very much. Sometimes,
there is a mixture of meditation and dreams. The presence of dreams denotes that
you are not yet well-established in deep meditation, that you have not removed
Vikshepa (tossing of the mind) and that you have not done constant, intense
Sadhana. As the phenomenon of dreams is very peculiar and inexplicable, it is very
difficult to control dreams unless you wipe out all the Samskaras in the Karana

Sarira (causal body) and control all thoughts. As you grow in purity, Viveka and
concentration, dreams will decrease.
DEPRESSION
Very often, depression comes in meditation in neophytes owing to previous
Samskaras, influence of astral entities, evil spirits, bad company, cloudy days, bad
stomach owing to indigestion and loaded bowels in constipation. It must be
removed quickly by cheerful thoughts, a brisk walk, singing, laughing, prayer,
Pranayama, etc.
VIKSHEPA
Scents, soft beds, novel-reading, dramas, theatres, cinemas, vulgar music,
dancing, flowers, company of women, Rajasic diet-all these excite passions and
cause disturbance of the mind. Too much salt, too much chillies, too much sweets
cause intense thirst and disturb meditation. Too much talking, too much walking
and too much mixing disturb the mind in meditation.
Impulses disturb meditation. All obscure subconscious impulses should be
controlled by the intellect and will. Sex-impulse and ambition are two real
disturbing factors in meditation. They carry on guerilla warfare. They attack the
Sadhakas again and again. They appear to be thinned out for some time. They get
revived often. They should be extirpated by great efforts, Vichara, Viveka (power
of discrimination between Atman and Anatman, Self and non-Self) and SivohamBhavana.
It is the sound that sets the mind in motion. It is the sound that makes the mind to
think. Sound disturbs the mind a great deal in meditation. A sound with meaning
disturbs more than a sound without meaning. A continuous sound as the silent
murmur of a river is not so disturbing as an abrupt, sudden, sharp, broken sound.
The mind does not feel a sound when it is used to it. You feel only when the clock
stops.
TUSHNIMBHUTA AVASTHA
Tushnimbhuta Avastha is a quiet state of the mind wherein there is neither
attraction nor repulsion for objects for a short time. It occurs in the Jagrat state.
It is a neutral state of the mind. It is an obstacle to meditation. It should be
avoided. It is mistaken by ignorant Sadhakas for Samadhi.
KASHAYA
Kashaya means colouring. Raga, Dvesha and Moha are the Kashaya or colouring of
the mind. Kashaya is the subtle influence in the mind produced by enjoyment and
left there to fructify in time to come and distract the mind from Samadhi. This is a
serious obstacle to meditation. It does not allow the Sadhaka to enter into
Samadhi-Nishtha. It induces the subtle memory of pleasures enjoyed. It is hidden
Vasana. From the Samskara, Vasana originates. Samskara is the cause and Vasana is

the effect. It is a kind of Mala (impurity of mind). Constant Vichara coupled with
Brahma-Bhavana is the only potent remedy to eradicate this dire malady Kashaya.
SATTVIC VRITTIS
During meditation, when your mind is more Sattvic, you will be inspired. The mind
will be composing fine poems and solving some problems of life. Stamp out these
Sattvic Vrittis also. This is all dissipation of mental energy. Soar higher and higher
to Atman only.
SAVIKALPA SAMADHI
Even the happiness of Savikalpa Samadhi is an obstacle, because it prevents you
from entering into the Nirvikalpa state. It produces false Tushti (contentment) and
you stop your further Sadhana.
The mind should be freed from all these obstacles. Then only will you enter into
pure Advaita Nirvikalpa state. Vichara and Brahma-Bhavana are the only helps to
attain this highest state.
MEDITATION AND WORK
He who meditates is not able to work. He who works is not able to meditate. This
is not balance. This is not equanimity. The two principles, meditation and action,
must be well-balanced. You must be able, if you are ready to follow the divine
injunction, to take up whatever work you are given-even a stupendous work-and
leave it the next day, with the same quietness with which you took it up and
without feeling that the responsibility is yours. You must be able to work hard in
the world with tremendous force and, when the work is over, you must be able to
shut yourself up in a cave as an absolute recluse for a long time with great peace
of mind. That is balance, that is real strength. Then only you have gone beyond the
qualities (Gunatita). "He, O Pandava, who hateth not radiance (Sattva) nor
outgoing energy (work), nor even sloth and slumber (Moha) when present, nor
longeth after them when absent-he is said to have crossed over the qualities"
(Gita, XIV-22).
When you advance in the spiritual practice, it will be very difficult for you to do
meditation and office work at the same time, because the mind will undergo
double strain. Those who practise meditation will find that they are more sensitive
than the people who do not meditate and, because of that, the strain on the
physical body is enormous. The mind works in different grooves and channels with
different Samskaras during meditation. It finds it very difficult to adjust to
different kinds of uncongenial activities. As soon as it comes down from the
meditation, it gropes in darkness. It gets bewildered and puzzled. The Prana
(energy) which moves inward in different grooves and channels and which is subtle
during the meditation has to move in new, different channels during worldly
activities. It becomes very gross during work. It has to work in different grooves
and channels. When you again sit for meditation in the evening, you will have to
struggle hard to wipe out the newly acquired Samskaras you have gathered during

the course of the day and get calm and one-pointedness of mind. This struggle
sometimes brings in headache.
It behoves, therefore, that advanced Grihastha Yogic students (householders) will
have to stop all the worldly activities when they advance in meditation, if they
desire to progress further. They themselves will be forced to give up all work, if
they are really sincere. Work is a hindrance in meditation for advanced students.
That is the reason why Lord Krishna says in the Gita, "For a sage who is seeking
Yoga, action is called the means; for the same sage who is enthroned in Yoga (state
of Yogarudha), serenity (Sama) is called the means." Then, work and meditation
become incompatible like acid and alkali or fire and water or light and darkness.
REASONS FOR FAILURES IN MEDITATION
Some practise meditation for a period of 15 years and yet they have not made any
real progress at all. Why? This is due to lack of earnestness, Vairagya, keen longing
for liberation and intense, constant Sadhana. There is always a complaint amongst
the aspirants, "I am meditating for the last 12 years. I have not made any
improvement. I have no realisation." Why is it so? What is the reason? They have
not plunged themselves in deep meditation into the innermost recesses of their
hearts. They have not properly assimilated and saturated the mind with the
thoughts of God. They have not done regular, systematic Sadhana. They have not
disciplined the Indriyas perfectly. They have not collected all the outgoing rays of
the mind. They have not made the self-determination, "I will realise this very
second." They have not given the full 100% of the mind or 16 annas of the mindtheir full mind-to God. They have not kept an increasing flow of Divine
Consciousness like the flow of oil (Tailadharavat).
You will have to note very carefully whether you remain stationary in the spiritual
path even after many years of spiritual practice or whether you are progressing.
Sometimes, you may go downwards also, if you are not very vigilant and careful, if
your Vairagya wanes and if you are slack in meditation. Reaction may set in.
Just as the man who foolishly run after two rabbits will not catch hold of any one
of them, so also a meditator who runs after two conflicting thoughts will not get
success in any one of the two thoughts. If he has divine thoughts for ten minutes
and then worldly conflicting thoughts for the next ten minutes, he will not succeed
in anything, in getting at the Divine Consciousness. You must run after one rabbit
only with vigour, strength and one-pointedness. You are sure to catch it. You must
have only divine thoughts at all times. Then you are sure to realise God soon.
You must not be too hasty in longing for the fruits at once, when you take to
meditation. Haste makes waste. A young lady perambulated an Asvattha tree
(Filicus religiosa) 108 times for getting an offspring and immediately touched her
abdomen to see whether there was a child or not. It is simply foolishness. She will
have to wait for some months. Even so, if those who read works dealing with AtmaJnana and who do take delight therein will not be hasty in longing for the fruits at
once, but will meditate regularly and gradually upon them, then the mind will, by
degrees, be ripened and, in the end, the endless Atman will be reached; and they
will get Atmasakshatkara (Self-realisation).

You will have to exert in the beginning to get an equilibrium of mind. Later on, you
will have a habitual balanced state of mind. So is the case with meditation. After
some years of practice, meditation becomes habitual.
CONDITIONS FOR SELF-REALISATION
Just as you saturate water with salt or sugar, you will have to saturate the mind
with thoughts of God and Brahman, with divine glory, Divine Presence with sublime
soul-awakening spiritual thoughts. Then only you will always be established in the
Divine Consciousness. Before saturating the mind with thoughts of Brahman, you
will have to assimilate the divine ideas first. Assimilation first and then saturation.
Then comes realisation, at once, without a moment's delay. Remember the triplet
always: "Assimilation-Saturation-Realisation."
Free yourself from the base thoughts of the mind, the various useless Sankalpas
(imaginations). Just as you render the turbid water pure by the addition of clearing
nut (strychnos potatorum), so also you will have to make the turbid mind, filled
with Vasanas and false Sankalpas, pure by Brahma-Chintana (thinking and
reflecting on the Absolute). If the mind constantly dwells on sensual objects, the
conception of the reality of the universe will surely increase. If the mind
ceaselessly thinks of Atman (Absolute), the world appears like a dream. Mark the
word "ceaseless." This is important. Then only there will be true illumination. Then
only there will be dawn of spiritual knowledge. The Jnana-Surya (the Sun of
Knowledge) will rise in the firmament of Chidakasa (knowledge-space).
You will find very often these terms in the Gita: "Ananyachetah" "Matchittah"
"Nityayuktah" "Manmanah" "Ekagramanah" "Sarvabhavah." These terms connote that
you will have to give your full mind, entire 100% mind to God. Then only you will
have Self-realisation. Even if one ray of mind runs outside, it is impossible to
attain
God-consciousness.
It is the actions of the mind that are truly termed Karmas. True liberation results
from the disenthralment of the mind. Those who have freed themselves from the
fluctuation of their minds come into possession of the supreme Nishtha
(meditation). Should the mind be purged of all its impurities, then it will become
very calm and all the worldly delusion, with its births and deaths, will be soon
destroyed.
Mind exists on account of "I." "I" exists on account of mind. "I" is only an idea in the
mind. "Mind" and "I" are identical. If "I" vanishes, mind will also vanish; and if mind
vanishes, "I" will vanish. Destroy the mind through Tattva-Jnana. Destroy the "I"
through "Aham Brahmasmi Bhavana," through constant and intense Nididhyasana.
When mind vanishes or thoughts cease, Nama-Rupa will cease to exist and the Goal
is reached.

Odd experiences in meditation

I get a lot of people writing and asking about unusual experiences theyve had, often on a
consistent basis, in meditation. Sometimes theyre worried, and sometimes I think theyre
hoping that these are signs that theyre enlightened, or close to it, or that they have meditation
superpowers. Those hopes and fears are quite understandable.
Heres a selection of some of the things people have described. Ive put them into groups, and
Ill discuss each type separately. Ill say upfront, though, that I can never be 100% confident
Ive categorized these experiences correctly. After all Im having to interpret other peoples
experiences, often from descriptions that are unclear.
Swirling lights, etc.

During my sit I saw a bright white/yellow circle shape flash of light in

between my eyebrows (closed eye meditation). The light came rushing at
me and filled my vision then vanished. While very interesting, it actually
freaked me out a bit.

Ive had noises so loud in one ear they made me jump, lights, weird visual
things, feelings of floating or expanding or shrinking just every now and
then.

While i meditate in complete darkness i notice swirling of lights. The

longer or deeper the meditation the color changes. I noticed it would go
from a red, to orange, up to indigo.

When I feel Im getting deep I can see bright purple colors swirling about.
Ive tried for a long time to find out if there is a meaning to this.

I have had a recurrent experience during meditation. These involve being

completely absorbed by an intense yellow vibrating light, qualitatively
ecstatic or electric.

i meditate in the dark. when i open my eyes and i look at my hands i can
see like smoke coming out at the tip of my fingers.it look like when you get
out of a really hot bath and you got steam on your skin

I have experienced a similar meditation twice where I am going deep

seeing stars/universes colorsthen silenceand stillness (void?) and
then I am aware of a medallion that looks like it is made of stone with low
and high relief with a face on it.

The swirling lights are quite common, especially in people who are relatively new to
meditation, and sometimes when people do more meditation than usual. The term I was
taught for these is a sampatti. This term is not used in the way it is in Theravadin
Buddhism, and I believe it comes from a Chinese Chan tradition. Anyway, the name doesnt
matter too much.
These experiences tend to arise when people are starting to get a bit more concentrated and
they are thinking less. Theyre nothing to worry about. Youre not going crazy if you see

swirling lights. Theyre also nothing to get excited about either. No, youre not on the verge
of enlightenment.
What I think is going on is that theres a kind of dreamy state of mind combined with mild
sensory deprivation. People in sensory deprivation tanks tend to have similar experiences. So
whats probably happening here is that the mind is becoming quiet, but its not used to being
quiet, and it creates these odd sensations. Theyre mild hallucinations, in other words
although dont be alarmed by that word. We all hallucinate every night, when were
dreaming, and most of us hallucinate during the day as well, when were having
conversations with other people in our heads. The good thing is that we dont believe these
hallucinations are real.
What to do about these odd sensations? Just note them, and keep going with the practice. See
if you can notice the sensations of the body and the breathing more clearly, so that your mind
is filled with sensory experience rather than deprived of it.
If you let your mind get absorbed in these sensations itll stop you going deeper into
meditation.
Symbols and Synesthesia

The breath became a shiny reflective surface, a cold metallic grey colour.
Then faded after 5 minutes or so.

Sometimes it happens that there is a moment during a sit, when the type
of experience changes in a way that can be hard to describe (but Ill try
anyway). Its as if one sinks a fraction deeper into the seat, and is
surrounded by a bubble. There is no desire to finish the sit.

Today, and I have noticed on previous occasions, when the allotted time
for meditation has expired, I sometimes get stuck, in a nice way. I feel
the urge to move, but it passes just like an urge to itch. Eventually, I
decide that it is time to move on. But it has a different quality to it than
the urge that comes from a timer.

Becoming aware of the continuity of the breath created an infinity symbol

for me to flow along, never ending. I feel like my whole body is
breathing.

I reach a certain point where it feels like Im acutely aware of my body

while being outside of it, like Im watching it from physically far away.

After about 10 minutes or so I flowed into self metta and when the gong
rang I felt/saw golden light in and around me.

[I saw] some teal and purple circular coloring that I think has to do with
retinal pressure. It responds to my movements, mostly breathing and
pulse, generally as shrinking concentric blobs alternating between the two

colors it lets me know that Ive found a good relaxed alertness balance
and that my focus is refined enough to notice it.

Some of these might sound similar to the sampattis above (and in fact it can be hard to know
whats going on in someone elses experience) but I think these are all what we call nimittas.
The word nimitta means sign or hint and these experiences are all signs that were
getting deeper into meditation. In contrast to sampattis, you should pay attention to these
sensations, because theyll take you deeper into meditation. Theyre signs in the same way
that a glimmer of light in a dark cave is a sign showing you where the exit is; more toward
the glimmer of light and it takes you closer to the exit, which in the case of meditation is
jhna, or absorption. The Buddha actually described jhna as the escape from a confined
space.
In some of these cases its not hard to see that the nimitta is connected with the object of the
meditation, or some other positive quality thats emerging in the meditation. For example a
feeling of love is perceived as a golden light, or stillness is perceived as a sinking into the
seat or as an inability to move. The continuous flow of the breathing is perceived as a visual
or tactile infinity symbol.
These experiences seem to be to be similar to synesthesia. Synesthesia is a state where
sensory information in one form is perceived in another. A common type is where people
sense words of numbers as having colors attached to them. Estimates of the incidence of
synesthesia vary from 1 in 23 to 1 in 2,000 (thanks, Wikipedia). I think many of us have weak
synesthetic tendencies, but that the synesthetic signals, being weak, are drowned out by other,
stronger experiences (thoughts, feelings, etc.). Its only when were still, and the mind is
calm, that these experiences emerge.
Synesthetic nimittas are useful because they are a form of feedback. Paying more attention to
a subtle synesthetic signal that arises in our experience as the mind is calming encourages the
mind to become even calmer, and so the synesthetic signal becomes stronger. Its like
walking toward the glimmer of light in the cave, and seeing it get brighter.
Sometimes nimittas can take the form of visual symbols. Unlike the swirling lights theyre
stable and very, very clear. They can seem more vivid than your experience of the outside
world.
So pay attention to nimittas (and learn to distinguish them from sampattis).
One last thing: People who are prone to having sampattis when they first take up meditation
are also prone to experiencing vivid nimittas once their meditation is a bit more established.
Distorted Body Sensations

26 minute sit. Feeling of extreme spaciousness in the beginning and like

my hands were infinitely small.

Notable sensations: being very small and yet infinite, as if pulled 35

degrees up to the right 4 feet away.

I had that strange sensation of body distortion again. This time, it felt as if
my legs were huge and the rest of my body very small. I got a very funny
image of what I looked like according to my distorted perception. Then the
sensation faded after a few minutes and I moved on to Metta Bhavana.

I dont know how long I sat, but it was very peaceful and I felt myself
expand a little beyond my normal sense of where my body boundaries are.
At a certain point my hands and lips felt like they were growing very fat,
which was interesting to observe (for example the thought really crossed
my mind, unconvincingly, that maybe my lips really were swelling up).

I have had the swelling sensation in my hands before during meditation

and I always find it fascinating. It feels very real, like my body is expanding
beyond itself and sometimes I feel tempted to open my eyes and double
check.

A few years ago when I was first learning to meditate I had an a

experience doing mindfulness of breathing where I felt my legs begin to
melt. It totally freaked me out causing me to open my eyes and stop the
meditation. When I did that, the feeling immediately stopped and Ive
never had anything like that since.

These are also nimittas, but Ive singled them out because I think they arise a bit differently.
Mostly these involve a loss of the normal boundaries of the body. This might actually involve
the loss of perceptual filters. Some parts of the body, like the hands and lips, have vastly
more nerve endings than other body parts. In fact if your sense of how big various body parts
are was proportional to the amount of sensory information being received in the brain from
each part youd feel like your body was like this:

Cortical homunculus by stormthor on deviantART

Which is pretty much how the body can feel sometimes in meditation. Why dont we feel that
the hands and lips are huge all the time? I think its because theres a correction filter in the
brain that scales body parts and makes the internal feeling of the body correspond more
closely to the external visual appearance that we see. In meditation it seems that these filters
are dropped, and we experience the body more as it is. And so the lips and hands feel large,
for example.
Another (possibly related) mechanism is that there is a part of the brain (the parietal lobes)
that keep track of the spatial orientation of the body and of parts of the body relative to each
other. Its been observed by neuroscientists that in some forms of meditation the parietal
lobes become less active, and so our perception of the body changes. The nimittas that these
changes are associated with dont lead directly to jhna, however, but to what are called in the
scriptures the formless spheres (yatanas). Youve probably heard them called the

formless jhnas or higher jhnas but thats not a term the Buddha used, and theyre
distinct experiences from the jhnas proper.
At the point these distorted bodily sensations emerge, you can choose to ignore them and
head instead for the jhnas by focusing more intently on the breathing, or you can stick with
them and see what happens. (It can take you into some really weird experiences that mess
with your sense of self in a good way!)
I feel prti, oh, so prti

After the counting was done and Bodhis voice was telling me to observe
how I felt I noticed that my mind was calm, there were lights around me
and my body felt energised so all-in-all it was a positive experience.

Perhaps it was my particular state of mind tonight, but I dissolved easily

into simply being aware of my breathing. Hands and feet felt quite warm.

During the counting of the in-breaths I was getting real rushes of energy to
the point where it was a little uncomfortable. At one point ( not sure which
stage ) I had the strange sensation of my mind being stuck/jammed.

I felt an uncontrollable wave of extremely strong energy. It felt almost

good , but in a sense too powerful pure pleasure.. I tried to just
experience it as is but then felt myself getting physically aroused which
freaked me out because I was in public with a large group. I then tried to
control it and found it very difficult to do so.

During the meditation, I feel tingling in my hands and feet. Is this normal?

Certainly Ive felt a tingling sensation that generally starts in my lower

spine and spreads over my whole body

We call this energy pti (Pli) or prti (Sanskrit). Its one of the factors of jhna, and its a
good thing! This kind of energy arises when were becoming more sensitized to the
sensations of the body because the mind is becoming calmer. Also, because the body is
relaxing, theres a release of tension. The effect can be of tingling, or of rushing energy.
Sometimes the pti manifests as warmth. It can be very pleasant. But it can also be a bit
much. If the pti does get too intense, then focus more on the experience of joy, which will
almost certainly be present as well.
Pti is, in a way, another nimitta, but a very specific one.
Sensations of Pressure

Another strange sensation I had during todays meditation was pressure

on the eye balls, just like fingers pressing. It was near the start of the
meditation and only lasted 30 seconds or so. Another new sensation. In
the end I found myself feeling pretty relaxed.

I have developed a feeling of pressure in my headsometimes in my

forehead or scalp, sometimes more in my face. At times it is quite strong
and unpleasant.

I have noticed that I get quite hot, develop damp skin, and recently have
felt a pressure in the top of my head, as though something is trying to
burst out. It is not painful, just unusual, and not a serious distraction.

I have physical sensation in my body, rising pressure in stomach,

sometimes shaking, right now I always notice that and let that sensations
to pass.

i also was feeling 2 points of pressure on my chest (i cant think of another

word to describe it)

I feel pressure, not pleasurable or painful, just pressure, on the middle of

my forehead. I this normal, or is it something I should be worried about?

This is something Ive never experienced myself. I suspect that these are nimittas, and that
the only problem with them is freaking out about them. If you experience these, please relax
and be aware that the sensation of pressure is just a sensation like any other. Its not going to
hurt you. Im told that relaxing the muscles in the head helps, and that the sense of pressure
can have a stabilizing effect on your attention, as with any other nimitta.

In rain during a black night, . Enter that

blackness as the form of forms.
There has been one very old esoteric school about which you may not have heard. The school was
known as the school of Essenes. Jesus was taught in that school; he belonged to the Essenes group.
That Essenes group is the only group all over the world who thinks of God as absolute darkness. The
Koran says God is light, the Upanishads say God is light, the Bible says God is light. The Essenes
group is the only tradition in the world which says that God is absolute blackness, absolute
darkness, just an infinite black night.
This is very beautiful; strange, but very beautiful -- and very meaningful. You must understand the
meaning, then this technique will be very helpful, because this is the technique used by the
Essenes to enter darkness, to become one with it.
Reflect. Why has God been symbolized everywhere as light? Not because God is light, but because
man is afraid of darkness. This is human fear -- we like light and we are afraid of darkness, so we
cannot conceive God as darkness, as blackness. This is human conception. We conceive God as light
because we are afraid of darkness.
Our gods are created out of our fear. We give them shape and form. That shape and form is given
by us -- it shows something about us, not about our gods. They are our creations. We are afraid in
darkness, so God is light. But these techniques belong to the other school.
Essenes say that God is darkness, and there is something in it. One thing: darkness is eternal. Light
comes and goes and darkness remains. In the morning the sun will rise and there will be light; in
the evening the sun will set and there will be darkness. For darkness nothing will rise -- it is always
there. It never rises and never sets. Light comes and goes; darkness remains. Light always has some
source; darkness is without source. That which has some source cannot be infinite; only that which
is sourceless can be infinite and eternal. Light has a certain disturbance; that's why you cannot
sleep in light. It creates a tension. Darkness is relaxation, total relaxation.
But why are we afraid of darkness? Because light appears to us as life -- it is; and darkness appears
to be death -- it is. Life comes through light, and when you die it appears you have fallen into
eternal darkness. That's why we paint death as black, and black has become a color for mourning.
God is light, and death is black. But these are our fears projected. Actually, darkness has infinity;
light is limited. Darkness seems to be the womb out of which everything arises and into which
everything falls.
Essenes took this standpoint. It is very beautiful and very helpful also, because if you can love
darkness you will become unafraid of death. If you can enter into darkness -- and you can enter
only when there is no fear -- you will achieve total relaxation. If you can become one with
darkness, you are dissolved, it is a surrender. Now there is no fear, because if you have become one
with darkness, you have become one with death. You cannot die now. You have become deathless.
Darkness is deathless. Light is born and dies; darkness simply is. It is deathless.
For these techniques, first you will have to remember that there should be no fear in your mind
about darkness, about blackness, otherwise how can you do this experiment? First the fear must be
dropped. So do one thing as a preliminary step: sit in darkness, put off the lights, feel darkness.
Have a loving attitude towards it; allow the darkness to touch you. Look at it. Open your eyes in a
dark room or in a dark night; have a communion, be together, imbibe a relationship. You will

become afraid -- then these techniques cannot be of any help, you cannot do them.
First a deep friendship with darkness is needed. Sometimes in the night when everyone has gone to
sleep, remain with the darkness. Don't do anything, just remain with it. And just remaining with it
will give you a deep feeling towards it, because it is so relaxing. You have not known it simply
because of the fear. If you are not feeling sleepy, you will put on the light immediately, you will
start reading or doing something, but you will not remain with the darkness. Remain with it. If you
can remain with it, you will have new openings, new contacts with it.
Man has closed himself completely against darkness. There were reasons, historical reasons -because the night was very dangerous, and man was in the caves or in the jungles. In the day he
was more secure: he could see all around, and no wild animals could attack him; or, he could make
some arrangements, some defence -- at least he could escape. But in the night everywhere was
darkness and he was helpless, so he became afraid -- and that fear has gone into the unconscious;
still we are afraid.
We are not living in caves now and we are not at the mercy of wild animals, no one is going to
attack us -- but the fear is there, it has gone deep, because for millions of years the human mind
was afraid. Your unconsciousness is not your own; it is collective, it is hereditary, it has come down
to you. The fear is there, and because of that fear you can have no communion with darkness.
One thing more: because of this fear, man started to worship fire. When fire was discovered, fire
became a god. Not that fire is a god, but because of the fear of darkness. In the day there was light
and no fear -- man was more protected. In the night there was darkness, so when fire was
discovered, of course, fire became a god -- the greatest. The Parsees still go on worshipping fire.
The worship of fire came into being because of the fear of darkness. In the night the fire became
the friend, the protector, the divine security.
That fear is still there. You may not be aware of it, because no situations are there in which you
can become aware of it, but one day put off the light in the night and sit -- and the primitive fear
will come to you. In your own house you will start feeling that some wild animals are around. Some
noise will come, and you will become afraid of wild animals -- some danger is around. That danger
is not around; that is in your unconscious.
So first you have to overcome your unconscious fear, and then you can enter these techniques,
because these techniques are concerned with darkness. And Shiva is giving all the techniques that
are possible.
My own experience with these techniques is very beautiful. If you can do them they are wonderful.
You will enter such a deep relaxation that you have never known. But first uncover your
unconscious fears and try to live and love darkness. It is very blissful. Once you know, and once you
are in contact with it, you are in contact with a very deep cosmic phenomenon.
So whenever you have the opportunity to be in the dark, and awake.... Because you can do two
things: either you can put on the light or you can go to sleep. Both are tricks to escape the
darkness. If you are asleep then you are not afraid, because you are not conscious. Or, if you are
conscious, then you will put on the light. Don't put on the light and don't go to sleep. Remain with
darkness.
Many fears will be felt. Feel them. Be aware of them. Bring them to your conscious. They will come
by themselves, and as they come, you remain just a witness.. They will disappear, and very soon a
day will come when you can be in darkness with total surrender, with no fear. With a total let-go

you can be in darkness. Then a very beautiful phenomenon happens. Then you can appreciate the
saying of Essenes that God is darkness, absolute darkness.

IN RAIN DURING A BLACK NIGHT,

ENTER THAT BLACKNESS AS THE FORM OF FORMS.

All forms arise out of darkness and dissolve into darkness. Worlds come, are created out of
darkness, and they fall back into darkness. Darkness is the womb, the cosmic womb. The
undisturbed, the absolute stillness is there.
Shiva says that it will be good to do this technique in a rainy night when everything is black, when
clouds are there and no stars can be seen and the sky is completely dark. In a black night when
there is no moon... ENTER THAT BLACKNESS AS THE FORM OF FORMS. Be a witness to that
blackness, and then dissolve yourself into it. It is the form of all forms. You are a form -- you can
dissolve into it.
When there is light, you are defined. I can see you, the light is there. Your body has a definition.
You are defined, you have boundaries. Boundaries exist because of the light. When the light is not
there, boundaries are dissolved. In blackness nothing is defined, everything merges into every other
thing. Forms disappear.
That may be one of the causes of our fear -- because then you are not defined, then you don't know
who you are. The face cannot be seen, the body cannot be known. Everything merges into a
formless existence. That may be one of the causes of fear -- because you cannot feel your defined
existence. Existence becomes vague and fear enters, because you don't know now who you are. The
ego cannot exist: undefined, it is difficult to exist as an ego. One feels afraid. One wants light to be
there.
Contemplating, meditating, merging, it will be easier to merge into darkness than to merge into
light, because light gives distinctions. Darkness takes away all distinctions. In the light you are
beautiful or ugly, rich or poor. The light gives you a personality, a distinctness -- educated,
uneducated, saint or sinner. The light reveals you as a distinct person. Darkness envelops you,
accepts you -- not as a distinct person; it simply accepts you without any definitions. You are
enveloped and you become one.
The darkness is doing it always, but because you are afraid you cannot understand it. put aside your
fear and become one.

ENTER THAT BLACKNESS AS THE FORM OF ALL FORMS.

ENTER THAT BLACKNESS... How can you enter blackness? Three things. One: stare into blackness.
Difficult. It is easy to stare at a flame, at any source of light, because it is there as an object,
pointed; you can direct your attention to it. Darkness is not an object; it is everywhere, it is all
around. You cannot see it as an object. Stare into the vacuum. All around it is there; you just look
into it. Feel at ease and look into it. It will start entering your eyes. And when the darkness enters

your eyes you are entering into it.

Remain with open eyes when doing this technique in the dark night. Don't close your eyes, because
with closed eyes you have a different darkness. That is your own, mental; it is not real. If is not
real. Really, it is a negative part; it is not positive darkness. Here is light: you close your eyes and
you can have a darkness, but that darkness is simply the negative of the light. Just as when you
look at the window and then you close your eyes you have a negative figure of the window. All our
experience is of light, so when we close our eyes we have a negative experience of light which we
call darkness. It is not real, it won't do.
Open your eyes, remain with open eyes in darkness, and you will have a different darkness -- the
positive darkness that is there. Stare into it. Go on staring into darkness. Your tears will start, your
eyes will get sore, they will hurt. Don't get worried, just go on. And the moment the darkness, the
real darkness which is there, enters in your eyes, it will give you a very deep soothing feeling.
When real darkness enters in you, you will be filled by it.
And this entering of darkness will empty you of all negative darkness. This is a very deep
phenomenon. The darkness that you have within in a negative thing; it is against the light. It is not
the absence of light; it is against the light. It is not the darkness that Shiva is speaking of as the
form of all forms -- the real darkness that's there. We are so afraid of it that we have created many
sources of light just as protection, and we live in a lighted world. Then we close our eyes and the
lighted world reflects negatively inside. We have lost contact with the real darkness that is there -the darkness of the Essenes, or the darkness of Shiva. We have no contact with it. We have become
so much afraid of it that we have turned ourselves completely away. We are standing with our
backs to it.
So this will be difficult, but if you can do it, it is miraculous, it is magical. You will have a different
being altogether. When darkness enters you, you enter into it. It is always reciprocal, mutual. You
cannot enter into any cosmic phenomenon without the cosmic phenomenon entering in you. You
cannot rape it, you cannot force any entry. If you are available, open, vulnerable, and if you give
way for any cosmic realm to enter in you, then only will you enter into it. It is always mutual. You
cannot force; you can only allow it.
It is difficult to find real darkness in cities now; difficult in our houses to find real darkness. With
the unreal light we have made everything unreal. Even our darkness is polluted, it is not pure. So it
is good to move to some remote place only to feel darkness. Just go to a very remote village where
there is no electricity, or move to a mountain peak. Just be there for one week to experience pure
darkness.
You will come back a different man, because in those seven days of absolute darkness, all the
fears, all the primitive fears, will come up. You will have to face monsters, you will have to face
your own unconscious. The whole humanity will... it will be as if you are passing through the whole
passage that has passed, and deep from your unconscious many things will arise. They will look
real. You may get afraid, scared, because they will be so real -- and they are just your mental
creations.
Many madmen in our mad asylums are suffering not from anything else but just from the primitive
fears inside them which have erupted. The fears are there; the madmen are afraid, scared every
moment of their lives. And we don't yet know how to allow those primitive fears to evaporate. If
madmen can be helped to meditate on darkness, madness will disappear.
But only in Japan do they work a little towards this. With their madmen they behave absolutely

differently. If someone goes mad, psychotic or neurotic, the Japanese method is to allow him to
live in isolation for three weeks or for six weeks, as the case may need. They just allow him to live
in isolation. No doctor, no psychoanalyst goes to him. Food is supplied, his needs are taken care of,
and he is left alone.
In the night there is no light;in darkness he is alone -- suffering of course, passing through many
phases. Every care is taken, but no companionship is given to him. He has to face his own madness
immediately and directly. And within three to six weeks, the madness starts disappearing. Nothing
has been done really; he has simply been left alone. This is the only measure that has been taken.
Western psychiatrists have become amazed. They can't understand really how it can happen,
because they work for years. They psychoanalyze, they treat, they do everything, but they never
leave the man alone. They never leave him to face his inner unconscious totally on his own.
Because the more help you give, the more you make him helpless, because the more he depends on
you. And the question is of an inner encounter; no one can help really. So those who know, they will
leave you to face yourself.
You have to come to terms with your unconscious. And this meditation on darkness will absorb all
your madness completely. Try it. Even in your home you can try it. Every night, for one hour remain
with darkness. Don't do anything, just stare into darkness. You will have a melting feeling, and you
will feel that something is entering you and you are entering into something.
Staying, living with darkness for three months, for one hour a day, you will lose all feeling of
individuality, of separation. Then you will not be an island; you will become the ocean. You will be
one with darkness. And darkness is so oceanic: nothing is so vast, nothing is so eternal. And nothing
is so near you, and of nothing are you so scared and afraid. It is just by the corner, always waiting.

IN RAIN DURING A BLACK NIGHT,

ENTER THAT BLACKNESS AS THE FORM OF FORMS.

Stare so that it enters in your eyes.

Secondly: lie down and feel as if you are near your mother. The darkness is the mother, the mother
of all. Think: when there was nothing, what was there? You cannot think of anything else than
darkness. If everything disappears, what will be there still? Darkness will be there.
Darkness is the mother, the womb, so lie down and feel that you are lying in the womb of your
mother. And it will become real, it will become warm, and sooner or later you will start feeling that
the darkness, the womb, is enveloping you from everywhere. You are in it.
And thirdly: moving, going to work, talking, eating, doing whatsoever, carry a patch of darkness
within you. The darkness that has entered in you, just carry it. As we were discussing about the
method of carrying a flame, carry darkness. And as I said to you that if you carry a flame and feel
you are light, your body will start radiating a certain strange light and those who are sensitive will
start feeling it, the same will happen with darkness.
If you carry darkness within you, your whole body will become so relaxed and calm, so cool, that it

will be felt. And as when you carry light within you some people will become attracted to you,
when you carry darkness within you some people will simply escape from you. They will become
afraid and scared. They will not be able to bear so silent a being; it will become unbearable to
them.
If you carry darkness within you, those who are afraid of darkness will try to escape from you; they
will not come near you. And everyone is afraid of darkness. You will start feeling that friends are
leaving you. Your family will get disturbed when you enter, because you enter like a pool of
coolness, and everyone is agitated and excited. It will be difficult for them to look into your eyes,
because your eyes will become deep like valleys, an abyss. If someone looks into your eyes he will
become dizzy, such a deep abyss will be felt there.
But you will feel many things. It will be impossible for you to get angry. Carrying darkness within,
you cannot be angry. Carrying a flame you can be angry very easily, more easily than ever, because
the flame can excite you. Carrying a flame you will feel more sexual than ever, because the flame
will excite you, it will create passion. But carrying darkness within you, you will feel a deep
asexuality happening to you. You will not feel sexual; you will not be able to easily get into anger.
Passion will disappear. You will not feel that you are a man or a woman. You will feel that those
words have become irrelevant, meaningless. You simply are.
Carrying darkness within for the whole day will help you very much, because then when you
contemplate and meditate on darkness in the night, the inner darkness that you have carried the
whole day will help you to meet -- the inner will come to meet the outer.
And just be remembering that you are carrying darkness -- you are filled with darkness, every pore
of the body, every cell of the body is filled with darkness -- you will feel so relaxed. Try it. You will
feel so relaxed. Everything in you will be slowed down. You will not be able to run, you will walk,
and that walk also will be slowed down. You will walk slowly, just as a pregnant woman walks. You
will walk slowly, very carefully. You are carrying something.
And quite the opposite will happen when you are carrying a flame: your walk will become faster;
rather, you would like to run. There will be more movement, you will become more active. Carrying
darkness you will be relaxed. Others will start feeling that you are lazy.
In the days when I was at university, I was doing this experiment for two years. I became so lazy
that even to get out of bed in the morning was difficult. My professors became very much disturbed
about it, and they thought something had gone wrong with me -- either I was ill, or I had become
absolutely indifferent. One professor who loved me very much, the head of my department,
became so worried that on my examination days he would come to fetch me from the hostel in the
morning just to lead me to the examination hall so that I could be there on time. Every day he
would see that I had entered the hall, and only then would he feel okay and go home.
Try it. It is one of the most beautiful experiences in life to carry darkness in your womb, to become
dark. Walking, eating, sitting, doing whatsoever, remember, the darkness is filled in you; you are
filled with it. And then see how things change. You cannot get excited, you cannot be very active,
you cannot be tense. Your sleep will become so deep that dreams will disappear and the whole day
you will move as if intoxicated.
Sufis have used this method, a particular sect of Sufis, and those Sufis are known as drunken Sufis.
They are drunk with this darkness. They make holes in the ground, and they lie down in the holes
every night, and they meditate lying down in their holes -- meditating darkness, becoming one with
it. And their eyes will show you that they are intoxicated. You can feel from their eyes such deep

relaxation, such a relaxed vibration, that it can happen only if you are deeply intoxicated or feeling
very sleepy. Only then can your eyes show that expression. They are known as drunken Sufis -- and
they are drunk with darkness.