I have enjoyed the conversation as well.

:)
As far as the businesses affected by the flood obviously that's a risk one takes in having a
business right on the river. But yes, I've wondered if those places will all be able to recover.
Ah. Religious reasons. And those as a convenient excuse to keep you home so you could
help out full-time. I wonder if you resented the chores and caretaking and weren't allowed to
express that. Wow I would love to see that book showing the whale-to-cow
transformation! So school had been your only real arena for social interaction outside of
your immediate family? Did you not even attend a church? Any neighborhood friends...or
anything? :/ How are your relationships with your family currently? I also wonder if you were
always skeptical of religion, and if not, how you did eventually break away from it? I grew up
in a conservative Methodist church (with detours through independent charismatic
churches), went through my own more extreme fundamentalist phase, and attended three
years at a Baptist university, but it all fell apart for me when I was 22.
I nearly passed out in front of my 8th grade class while reciting a poem. Everything started
to white out and I had to go sit in the hall for awhile to recover. In 7th grade, I was so shaky
doing a demonstration speech unwisely on preparing garnishes for food that everyone
thought I might cut off a finger in the process. I DID pass out in one of my first classes at
NSU! But that was because I'd slipped on the ice on the way to class and apparently went
into shock from trauma to my elbow (which wasn't broken or anything, just in pain)...I felt
like such a wimp! And when I came to and regained focus and realized I was on the floor
and everyone was gathered around me, I was looking right at the most attractive guy in the
class and felt pretty embarrassed. But he and I became good friends after that, so it worked
out. :)
Anyway, I'm glad you survived all that and found your way out into the world and worked out
your own effective therapy and have created such good experiences for yourself! That's
wonderful, too.
Out of curiosity why did you decide not to include a real photo of yourself?
Wow that had to of really hurt. I had something similar almost happen to me once,
not a lot of pain but, I think I know exactly how you felt about it! I nearly blacked out
once from loss of blood over just a cut on my hand! In the movies you see people
get shot and still run around all the time, and there I was with a gash in my hand
and I nearly collapse. As I sat down to stabilize myself, I was like wow Im a pansy.

There was no church. I still remember the names of my friends who, for a little bit,
lived on the same street as I. They eventually moved away and I lost touch with
them. I have one family member left, my mother. She is disabled now, living on
SSDI and I try to take care of her. The rest of what Ill type out might be TMI, but
youve expressed curiosity and its easy enough to talk about. When I had an
apartment up at Owasso I managed to get my associates degree at that time, which

is relevant to this story because work on my undergrad has been more difficult. The
job I had, repair/calibration made it tough. But the pay was good. Anyway, my
mother has a lot of issues, from financial to needing help around the house. She
wasnt able to afford to live in the home she had, and I was wanting to go to school
full time. She is living with me now, we bought property down here and it is in both
our names since we split the cost. You see, I decided to move down to Tahlequah
because I would be close to NSU and could then find different work that allowed me
to prioritize college (my money has been cut in half though). Shes now got an
affordable place to live and some help around the home When I no longer need to
be in Tahlequah Ill see about maybe hiring a home care worker for her, if I can
afford it. Thats the practical side of it, but you may wonder about the relationship
itself? Im not happy with her, but nowadays I am more upset with myself that I had
not started things sooner.

Religion always left a sour taste in my mouth, for various reasons. Supposedly
divorce is a sin, since you took a vow under God to remain married for the rest of
your life. (Her particular poison of choice is a wonderful little mixture of Catholicism,
Baptism, Episcopalism etc. Cherry picked for whatever suits her). The guy she
married was a horrible person. He made it clear that if she ever died Id be put up
for adoption, as such my last name is different from hers. It irked me that Id be told
that one of the Ten Commandments was to honor thy father and thy mother when
I, um, expressed displeasure of him. He died horribly of cancer. I considered myself
agnostic for a long time, but said I was Christian merely to avoid confrontation.

Atheist now simply because of personal growth, Ive no interest in anymore

sycophantic toadyism. Ive read wonderful books on the subject and can enjoy
learning about the many different types of religions and their histories. Also I am
happy and contented by atheism. When my little sister died, the thought of her
being gone and not in some other form of existence was acceptable to me. I was
very saddened by the loss of course. Its difficult to express but I feel there is a need
to try and emphasize that there is a complete absence of any anger or hate of
some omnipotent/omniscient divine intelligence. The religious have no monopoly on
consciousness or ability to make believe, its easy enough to comprehend the
paradox of omnipotence/omniscience and have hope, or faith, that there is love and
a plan. But there isnt anything there, and thats okay too.

The no real photo thing? Ah, heh. Well to answer that I guess it would be best to
simply explain why I didnt just update this profile into a real one when I decided I
wanted to try and meet people. This was made because I was curious about the
site, wanted to see who was on and make something perhaps a bit funny for people
to click on. I had answered a ton of questions on this profile for much the same
reason youve done, I wanted to see what people had to say in regards to the
questions. This profile is just a bit of fun. There could be some questions on this

profile that are cringe worthy and Im not too sure I trust myself to have answered
them properly if I were taking a flippant attitude towards them at that time. There
IS a peculiar form of honesty in that but put your best foot forward and all that
jazz. I didnt feel like going through and checking all of the questions either.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Timetolookahead that is a normal profile, just me,
info about me, and pictures and yada yada. I was thinking about putting in the
existential despair joke but I dunno. Ive had some good conversations on that
real profile too. Met two people so far, its been nice.

When you say it fell apart for you at 22, do you feel like you lost something?