Counseling approach

In relation with counseling approaches, marriage can be applied in selected theories such
as Psychoanalytic theory. Sigmund Freuds belief was that human beings possess minds that are
divided into two parts that are the unconscious and a conscious.According to the Cherry,the
conscious is defined as, what we are aware of on a day basis, and is only a small portion of the
total mind. The unconscious is much larger than the conscious, and in fact most of ones
psychological processes take place in the unconscious. Since the unconscious cannot be directly
accessed, its contents must be understood and inferred by the marriage counseling process. Freud
also divided the human mind into three parts which he termed the id, the ego, and the superego
and according to Freud, these three parts combine to create the complex behavior of human
beings. The id is the most basic part of the personality, and wants instant gratification for our
wants and needs. If these needs or wants are not met, a person becomes tense or anxious.While
the ego deals with reality, trying to meet the desires of the id in a way that is socially acceptable
in the world. This may mean delaying gratification, and helping to get rid of the tension the id
feels if a desire is not met right away. The ego recognizes that other people have needs and wants
too, and that being selfish is not always good for us in the long run. The superego develops last,
and is based on morals and judgments about right and wrong. Even though the superego and the
ego may reach the same decision about something, the superegos reason for that decision is
more based on moral values, while the egos decision is based more on what others will think or
what the consequences of an action could be.There are two minds at work, each one id, ego, and
superego operating at different levels in marriage counseling. Thus, the primary goal of the
psychoanalytic marriage counseling is to bring the husbands and wifes unconscious into
conscious. This can be done in several ways. First, dreams are thought to be direct products of
the unconscious mind, and the counselor can interpret the dreams which the husband and wife
report. Second, by the use of free association, the therapist allows the clients to speak freely,
without guidance of self-disclosure by the counselor. The therapist attempts to interpret
resistances and repressions so as to better understand the unconscious. The final way of
accessing the unconscious is through the therapists encouragement of the transference process
and the subsequent interpretation. Transference occurs when the clients unknowingly shift
feelings towards others onto the therapist. However, in psychoanalytic marriage counseling,

there is also transference between the spouses. By making the unconscious conscious, the
therapist helps the clients to make their own choices in life rather than being ruled by the
unconscious defense mechanisms. In the process the ego is strengthened and energy is drawn
away from the id or superego. Psychoanalytic marriage counseling can take several years to
complete this process.

Individual approach
Marriage can be one of life's sweetest, but it is also one of the most risky moments. Recent
research showed that most couples face their most serious challenges during the first five years
of the marriage. In relation towards the late marriage, people may say that couples that are
choose to late marriage will be long lasting, as one of the factor contribute to the late marriage is
stabilization of the financial. However then, without proper skills to enhance their relationship,
they actually will face the problems in difficulties. With the risk for divorce today is increasing,
it's startling that so few people take marriage preparation seriously and do not have preparation
toward their marriage.This situation may be happen as many young couples todays expect that
they will be last forever as long their marriage is full with the loves and this loves will get them
through the rough times.It cant be say that love is not important,however it won't be enough if
the couples don't have the basic attitudes and skills they need for a successful marriage as lasting
marriages require partners who respect each other, who have gained knowledge about what
makes marriage work, and who have developed skills that will enhance the relationship. So that,
in making the couples are prepare towards their marriage, the marriage preparation is essential
before the marriage as the preparation will prepare the couples mentally and physcology.
Marriage preparation can be many ways such, training through courses, seminars, or counseling
that prepares couples for a successful marriage. Training often focuses on developing skills such
as communication, handling conflict, solving problems,and making decisions. It might also
include help in developing the knowledge,attitudes, expectations, and characteristics that are
important to creating a satisfying relationship.

Family counseling
Family counseling is one of the aproaches which can be used to treat the problems in marriage.
For an example regarding the problems that will arises after the couple had the late marriage,the
posibilities of getting children is low,as the women fertility is decreasesd as they become older.
So,to overcome the problems getting worse, they can consult to the family counseling. Family
counselling is a type of therapy that can help families with any of the issues they may be facing.
According to Mayo Clinic, marriage counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known
as marriage and family therapists. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees and
many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family
Therapy (AAMFT).Different families may have different needs when it comes to family
counselling, but there are many tips and techniques that can help families get along better. There
are several benefits of family counseling such it can help to identified real couple problems. For
an example,minor conflicts can easily turn into bigger problems once the real cause remains
unknown. Persons involved may find it difficult to open up and express how they feel, which can
lead to depression or repressed anger as time goes by. Through family counselling, however, a
psychologist can help identify the real source of stress and problems by using techniques and
methods that help uncover the truth. They make sure that every side of the story will be
heard.Then the famliy counseling also can help to facilitate the conversations.The psychologist,
counsellor, or family therapist is there to help guide the conversations among family members. In
case of a heated debate or emotional argument, the therapist or counsellor will serve as a
mediator and will redirect the discussion to what truly matters. He or she will make patients feel
more at ease and encourage them to talk things out in a calm, sound manner. Besides, the family
therapist or counsellor will help guide the family to a sound resolution that is both agreeable to
both parties, after analyzing the problem, discussing the conflict, and considering the thoughts
and feelings of persons involved. Through family counselling, the counselor or therapist can help
all persons involved to come up with a win-win solution or agree to a compromise. Long-term
solutions are sought to make sure that whatever dents or damage the conflict has caused in the
family relationship will be patched up and resolved for good.The counselors are trained to deal
with different issues such as alienation,problems to get child, conflicts with in-laws,and others.

Apart from that, relationship counseling aproach also can be practice as this aproach are
divided into two styles which are the insight-oriented approaches and action-oriented
approaches. Insight-oriented approaches seek to help each of the relationship partners develop a
better understanding of him or herself, allowing each partner to gain a better concept of what
each brings to the relationship. Action-oriented approaches, on the other hand, focus on
developing skills to allow the relationship to be rebuilt. One of the oldest relationship counseling
philosophies is the psychodynamic approach, one of the insight-oriented techniques. In
psychodynamics, each partners personal history and underlying motivations are examined
because problems in a marriage are thought to be the result of the unresolved conflicts and needs
of each of the partners. Typically the partners are treated separately, either by the same or
different therapists. These days, many marriage counselors consider it unethical for a therapist to
treat each member of a couple and the relationship. More typical, and more widely accepted, if
for a marriage counselor to treat the couple and for that marriage counselor to refer each member
of the couple out to their own respective therapist.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/marriage-counseling/basics/definition/prc-20012741
http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/consciousuncon.htm